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Transcript
00:00:04New Intimacy Level Unlocked
00:00:11New Skin Dangerously Hot is Equipped
00:00:21You're staring. You like what you see?
00:00:23Maybe.
00:00:32When are you gonna tell me you really are? You know who I really am. I'm Valaqueen33.
00:00:37Such a dumb username. Oh, okay, guacamolewizard275. Don't talk to me about dumb usernames.
00:00:44You know, you're lucky you're cute. You don't even know what I look like.
00:00:47Well, I would if you agreed to meet me in person. Or at least a photo.
00:00:52Maybe someday.
00:00:53Okay.
00:00:58Crap, I'm late.
00:00:59Good luck, Skylacher Queen.
00:01:04Who needs luck when I have my talisman to remind me of my knight?
00:01:11In the game of Castle Claimers, I might be a warrior princess in love with a dashing knight,
00:01:16but on my first day at Edmunds Academy, I feel like a peasant.
00:01:21Watch it. This isn't public school.
00:01:25Forget your training wheels.
00:01:28At least I have my knight's charm to help me get through the day.
00:01:42Stop, stop, stop, stop the car!
00:01:46No!
00:01:49God, my knight's special talisman!
00:01:51I'm ruined!
00:01:58He's so hot.
00:01:59Hey! I told you to stop the car!
00:02:06Oh my gosh, it's cold!
00:02:08He's so hot.
00:02:12Hey!
00:02:14What is wrong with you?
00:02:16Didn't you see me yelling and screaming for you to stop the car?
00:02:18Okay, I see you now, new girl.
00:02:21What are you with me, son?
00:02:23What are you talking about?
00:02:24Why?
00:02:26I thought you were one of my fans.
00:02:28No, I'm not one of your fans.
00:02:32You just broke something that's really important to me.
00:02:34Yeah, I break a lot of hearts by a cop, okay?
00:02:39You should know that.
00:02:41I don't know who you are, but you were a...
00:02:43You were a...
00:02:47Asshole!
00:02:47Welcome.
00:02:53Alright.
00:02:54I broke something of yours.
00:02:56Sure, but...
00:02:57Hey!
00:02:59You got my attention.
00:03:02So, in that case, we're even...
00:03:09Don't do it, Hayley.
00:03:12Have a good day.
00:03:15Don't do it!
00:03:17I got a hot mess energy.
00:03:20Oh, fuck!
00:03:25Now we're even.
00:03:27My laptop better not be broken.
00:03:29I can't lose my connection to Valley Queen.
00:03:36You just made the wrong enemy.
00:03:39You just made the wrong enemy.
00:03:41I'm going to make every classroom, every hallway, and every rumor in this school your personal nightmare.
00:03:50I'm gonna make your life a living hell.
00:03:53What's going on?
00:03:54Close fighting the new girl.
00:03:56Close leaving the new girl.
00:03:58Yeah, idiot.
00:03:58I can see it.
00:03:59I can see that.
00:04:01Just met an unhinged person.
00:04:03Good thing the universe balances it with you.
00:04:06Same.
00:04:07Ran into a certified asshole.
00:04:09Can't wait to see you in the game tonight.
00:04:14Cole, do you need help?
00:04:15I can help you.
00:04:18The new girl poured coffee on him.
00:04:20This bitch thinks that she can just roll up and piss off Michael.
00:04:24But he's not your Cole.
00:04:25Shut up, Lindsay.
00:04:26He's not yet.
00:04:28Come in.
00:04:31Hi.
00:04:32I'm Jen.
00:04:33And this is Lindsay.
00:04:35Hi.
00:04:36I'm Haley.
00:04:37So nice to meet you.
00:04:38You have first day jitters.
00:04:39It's totally understandable.
00:04:41We want to make sure you feel really welcome.
00:04:43And so we'll take you to your locker.
00:04:44Come in.
00:04:46Okay.
00:04:47Let's go.
00:04:51There you go.
00:04:52Thanks so much.
00:05:15You're welcome, new girl.
00:05:16Honestly, it's kind of an improvement on your face.
00:05:25Guacamole wizard.
00:05:26Wow.
00:05:26What are you catfishing?
00:05:27Some little lonely online gamer boy?
00:05:29I'm getting back.
00:05:32Hold on.
00:05:34Hey, if you go to Edmunds Academy, you should come to Locker 83 right now.
00:05:38Send.
00:05:39Here.
00:05:40Now your little gamer friend can see your ugly little face.
00:05:44So when can I meet the hero who ruined your billionaire shirt?
00:05:47I'm your friend first, Max.
00:05:49At least check on me.
00:05:50Oh, is it the online level?
00:05:52Chill, please.
00:05:57No way.
00:05:58What is it?
00:05:59Oh, the hell queen goes to the school.
00:06:06Please ignore that.
00:06:08Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank.
00:06:10Send.
00:06:15What is wrong with you?
00:06:16You mess with Cole Edmunds and you're gonna mess with me.
00:06:19Edmunds?
00:06:20What?
00:06:21You don't know that his family owns the whole school?
00:06:24Wow.
00:06:24You really did crawl out of the gutter, didn't you?
00:06:29Stop recording me!
00:06:31Jen is a new girl.
00:06:33Wait.
00:06:34Is the new girl...
00:06:36Valley Queen?
00:06:38There's no way the new girl is Valley Queen.
00:06:41Could it be...
00:06:42Jen?
00:06:45Ew.
00:06:48Your enemy is our enemy, Cole.
00:06:50And I just made sure that the new girl knows that.
00:06:53No chances, Jen.
00:06:55So is it.
00:06:57She does look kinda cute.
00:07:05Please ignore that.
00:07:06Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank.
00:07:09What was I thinking?
00:07:11Of course she's not my online lover.
00:07:17Hey there, buttercup.
00:07:18Keep walking, Hayley.
00:07:20Just keep walking.
00:07:21You got a problem with shaving this morning, or...?
00:07:25My name's Hayley.
00:07:26Wow, Hayley.
00:07:28I think you, uh...
00:07:29You used to spell on your upper lip right there.
00:07:34What a coincidence!
00:07:35So did you!
00:07:37Oh, no!
00:07:40Oh, I'm sorry.
00:07:42I forgot you don't even need shaving cream.
00:07:44You're just a man-child with follicle issues.
00:07:49Whoever ends up with her, I must have feel it in the eyes, yeah.
00:08:04I was so relieved to see you.
00:08:06Something happened today, and I lost the game.
00:08:09I thought I'd never see you again.
00:08:11I think it's time we call this what it is.
00:08:14And what is this?
00:08:15What I think it is, is...
00:08:18I wanna be with you, and you wanna be with me.
00:08:22As more than just friends.
00:08:24Oh, thank God.
00:08:26I honestly want that more than anything.
00:08:28You're my soulmate.
00:08:29Like, I like you so much.
00:08:30Okay, well, since we're dating now, um...
00:08:34I'm ready to send my photo.
00:08:37Wait, really?
00:08:38Yeah.
00:08:39Get ready.
00:08:46Okay.
00:08:47No face.
00:08:48Just the boobs.
00:08:50Is it a bad idea?
00:08:51But all my online friends said it's cool.
00:08:54PG-13 nudes are harmless.
00:08:55All the kids do this.
00:08:57He'll love it.
00:09:02Ugh, this lighting hates me.
00:09:05Come on, Hayley.
00:09:06Confidence.
00:09:07You literally fight dragons online.
00:09:14Okay.
00:09:15Yeah.
00:09:15That's actually kind of...
00:09:17Oh, my God.
00:09:22Seriously?
00:09:23Hello?
00:09:25Anyone?
00:09:27Don't look at me!
00:09:31Don't look at me!
00:09:32We're not survivable, are we?
00:09:33I don't think you're supposed to do it like that.
00:09:35Get out!
00:09:37Now!
00:09:37Fine.
00:09:39Ow!
00:09:40Damn it!
00:09:44Come on.
00:10:17You're helping me.
00:10:19Yeah, well, I didn't point on it, but here we are.
00:10:28Excuse you, these boobs are for someone else.
00:10:30I love a boyfriend, do we? That is shocking.
00:10:34Yeah, actually, and he'd probably kill you right now if you saw him flirting with me.
00:10:38Flirting? Yeah, don't flatter yourself. I've got a girlfriend, too.
00:10:41My thoughts and prayers to her.
00:10:42Hmm, funny.
00:10:44Okay, well, can we just pretend this didn't happen and go her separate ways?
00:10:48Fine by me.
00:10:51Oh, and, um...
00:10:54All the purple bra, by the way.
00:10:56I like it in a weird way.
00:10:58You're not in my type, but, you know, power theory, or whatever.
00:11:01Would you just get out of here?
00:11:11Hopefully, guacamole wizard will like it, too.
00:11:15Jen, red alert.
00:11:17Cole and the new girl are for sure flirting.
00:11:19I think it's time to take drastic action.
00:11:23Don't be a coward, just send it.
00:11:25Jen.
00:11:30Oh, my God.
00:11:32Here goes nothing.
00:11:41Still no response?
00:11:42Don't freak out.
00:11:43He's probably just busy.
00:11:48Give it back.
00:11:49Why?
00:11:50You don't want me to see your slutty little nude?
00:11:53Oh, this is actually a really good photo.
00:11:55Honestly, it's so good that I think the whole school should see it.
00:11:58Did you get it, Lindsay?
00:11:59Mm-hmm.
00:12:00Got it.
00:12:03What are you doing?
00:12:13Oh, my God!
00:12:17Oh, my God!
00:12:29Oh, my God!
00:12:33Yo, what's going on?
00:12:34Dude, your head of his nudes just got put up on the big screen.
00:12:36What?
00:12:37Yeah.
00:12:51Come on.
00:12:53Let's see if these builds are photoshopped.
00:12:57Stop. Delete it. Please. Delete it.
00:12:59Strip! Strip! Strip! Strip! Strip! Strip! Strip! Strip! Strip! Strip! Strip! Strip! Strip! Strip!
00:13:11Oh, my brave knight. I wish you were here with me right now.
00:13:18Oh, my god.
00:13:20Oh, look off. Your enemy's kind of hot.
00:13:24Since you're so into slutty photos, why don't we just go ahead and go full nude?
00:13:30No
00:13:31No, no
00:13:32No
00:13:32Get off me
00:13:36No
00:13:51My school enemy is my ally girlfriend
00:13:54Get off me
00:13:56Stop it
00:13:58Stop it!
00:14:00Oh my God!
00:14:09You okay?
00:14:13Give that to me.
00:14:21Now give the phone back, Jan.
00:14:23What the hell, Cole? I thought you'd be happy.
00:14:30How does it feel, being exposed to the whole school?
00:14:33Not good, huh?
00:14:34Now, if you don't delete it off your phone,
00:14:35I'm exposed to what else is fake about you.
00:14:37And I know it's not just your purse.
00:14:40Why are you even defending her?
00:14:42She's the loser who has nude photos for random men!
00:14:46Everyone's got more personality than all of you combined.
00:14:48And if you mess with her, you mess with me.
00:14:50You hear me?
00:14:55Here we are.
00:14:56Cole is on my side now?
00:14:58Is he doing this to play with my feelings?
00:15:00I just need to be alone.
00:15:02Haley!
00:15:07Cole is a rich asshole.
00:15:09And he said we were enemies.
00:15:11But why did I get butterflies when he looked at me today?
00:15:17Don't stay up too late, honey.
00:15:20Love you, Mom.
00:15:22Wait, Mom.
00:15:27Do people change?
00:15:30Like, can a spoiled brat somehow become nice?
00:15:36Well, maybe just give them a second chance.
00:15:56What's up there, huh?
00:15:58What's up there, huh?
00:15:58There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria.
00:16:00They're my favorite.
00:16:02Noted.
00:16:03Is that all?
00:16:04The whole school treats me like I'm their punching bag.
00:16:06I'm just trying to bring a little hope to my family and keep my scholarship.
00:16:11Oh.
00:16:12I'm really proud of you.
00:16:14And then there's this guy.
00:16:15He has this vendetta against me, but at the same time he's super contradictory.
00:16:20It's so confusing.
00:16:21Sounds like you're into this guy.
00:16:23Sounds like you're into this guy.
00:16:25No, I'm not into this guy.
00:16:27I like you.
00:16:28Only you.
00:16:34I really liked your photo, by the way.
00:16:36You did?
00:16:37Are you gonna reciprocate?
00:16:38I was thinking it would be better if we met in person.
00:16:40That sounds amazing.
00:16:42When?
00:16:43With?
00:16:44After school.
00:16:45At the balcony.
00:16:46I'll bring followers.
00:16:47Deal.
00:16:56I'm about to meet my boyfriend.
00:17:08Stop thinking about Cole.
00:17:18Call me, father.
00:17:19I heard about you harassing Jen at school today.
00:17:22Defending that nobody.
00:17:24Haley girl.
00:17:25He's not a nobody, dad.
00:17:26Are those for her?
00:17:32What the fuck?
00:17:35What the fuck?
00:17:37I know what Haley is, Cole.
00:17:39Her mother works as a man.
00:18:04You're sick.
00:18:06It's called watching out for your future.
00:18:14Oh, hi.
00:18:16I'm Haley.
00:18:17Yes.
00:18:18Mm-hmm.
00:18:19So nice to meet you.
00:18:21God.
00:18:21I'd give anything just to hear her say my name.
00:18:24But the moment she knows, I lose her forever.
00:18:29Thank you for the flowers.
00:18:31You're so nice.
00:18:32Can't hear me.
00:18:33Okay.
00:18:35Let's go from her.
00:18:36Guacamole wizard.
00:18:41Ew.
00:18:42Guacamole wizard.
00:18:43Ew.
00:18:45You're waiting for your stupid little secret boyfriend?
00:18:47Pathetic.
00:18:49Maybe he's married.
00:18:50Or maybe he's fat.
00:18:52And maybe he's sitting on his back video.
00:18:55I don't want any more trouble why is guacamole wizard still not here oh no we're not here to
00:19:02give you any trouble we just noticed that you didn't have any lunch and so we thought we would
00:19:06bring you a sandwich eat it so you think that you can just humiliate me in front of the entire
00:19:27school
00:19:28you're a maid's daughter so you can go ahead and eat trash guacamole wizard where are you
00:19:35oh and by the way nicole's not gonna come save you because after all he's rich like me
00:19:44i'm nothing like you
00:19:50yeah i'm nothing like you
00:19:53cole again why is he always here when i need help pick it up
00:19:59cole we were kidding it's ketchup pick that bloody thing up
00:20:06i think you're gonna record this
00:20:16didn't your dad tell you not to mess with hayley anymore
00:20:18don't think you have leverage here so i'll tell your mom how fucked up you are
00:20:22you're gonna hold that thing next to your face and do what i say
00:20:28i will leave hayley alone
00:20:32i will leave hayley alone
00:20:38got it yeah let's go what are you looking at
00:20:45got it let's go
00:20:54uh thank you
00:20:57wow
00:20:59i never thought i'd hear you say that
00:21:03why do you keep following me around
00:21:05i just
00:21:07i happen to see you
00:21:09were you waiting on someone yeah my boyfriend actually
00:21:16well he he kind of stood me up so maybe you didn't do it on purpose
00:21:23maybe you're gonna do it nice today cole are you being nice to me
00:21:28you thought we were enemies i mean i still find you incredibly annoying though so
00:21:33i'm not that annoying maybe you'll like me once you realize i have layers
00:21:37are you trying to play with my feelings coldness because it's not gonna work i'm like those stupid
00:21:42spoiled heiresses
00:21:49how'd that online working years make you fall for her
00:21:55he he makes me feel safe
00:21:59you wouldn't understand though
00:22:05you understand better than you think
00:22:08cole understands me better than i think
00:22:11is he
00:22:14now you touch him like this
00:22:25if you keep staring i'm going to think you like what you see
00:22:29no my my boyfriend has way better abs than you do
00:22:36in the game
00:22:38oh in the game huh
00:22:46why does he have to smell so good
00:22:52are you that slow in the game too
00:22:55i can see why he likes you
00:23:07i can't do this
00:23:09i love my boyfriend and you will never understand that he's smart and he's kind and
00:23:16he loves me for who i am
00:23:19that is so much more important to me than whatever this is between us
00:23:23i wish i could just tell her right now
00:23:33wait it couldn't be
00:23:36cole what was that notification on your phone
00:23:43what was that notification on your phone
00:23:49it was my dad telling me my car got done getting waxed
00:23:53champagne problems huh
00:23:57you live such a tough life
00:24:03what was i thinking we are from two different worlds he just wants to play with me
00:24:07but why did i want to kiss him so badly
00:24:15why didn't you come to school today
00:24:17i got into a car accident
00:24:19really are you okay you have to keep me in the hospital till prom
00:24:23he was right who nobody which hospital are you staying at i want to come visit you
00:24:28no no you can't i look miserable now
00:24:31you need to see me in style
00:24:33fine if you say so
00:24:35so are we going to prom together
00:24:38hell yeah we are
00:24:44why would anyone want to sit next to her
00:24:47whoever needs a charity case
00:25:04oh you oh me why is she so lucky cole's never been this way with any other girl people think
00:25:13you're really lucky to be my lab partner i'm sure you feel really lucky to be my lab partner because
00:25:17you don't do any homework
00:25:24you finished it it's okay we'll get to know each other more
00:25:28i'm not that curious about you actually i'm curious about you though
00:25:32like uh how close are you with your mom what is he trying to do it's none of your business
00:25:38but
00:25:39i'm very close with my mom i'd kill anyone who hurts her
00:25:45what is he trying to do it
00:25:46does colt genuinely want to know me
00:25:57so are you going to prom
00:25:58uh i did well i don't know
00:26:01so you have a date
00:26:04or shall i say victim
00:26:05are you jealous of me
00:26:06me jealous no why would i be jealous oh because i think you so secretly want me
00:26:13you are so full of yourself you can do this on your own yeah
00:26:19no way it's a self-locking door really this corner is going to be back in an hour i'm sure
00:26:25it'll be fine i'm stuck here with you for a full hour
00:26:29sorry am i that bad i think maybe we can pick up where we left off
00:26:34or maybe try something new we're keeping our distance this time actually
00:26:39that was my first kiss
00:26:53my first kiss was not supposed to go like that it was supposed to be special at prom and not
00:26:58just
00:26:58bumping lips
00:27:10you're really good at this why don't you regret it you know we can do more if you want
00:27:39i think you know how much i want you
00:27:45do you want me i want you
00:28:01oh my god how long have you two been in here i really need to change this lock are you
00:28:06two okay
00:28:06okay um yeah yeah we're good we're okay
00:28:18you're just going to pretend like that didn't happen what didn't happen hey wait it's just hormones
00:28:25jake can you still play after your accident relax i'm not dead wait car accident guacamole wizard
00:28:37i gotta go
00:28:46guacamole wizard huh
00:28:50are you all better after your car accident do i know you why is he being so standoffish is he
00:28:56trying
00:28:57to give me a surprise or he heard something about coal you're crushing your soda can
00:29:04she thinks guacamole wizard is jake myers she was in a real car accident according to you so is guacamole
00:29:10wizard
00:29:10i'm not going to do this anymore
00:29:12coal wait
00:29:15oh
00:29:15shit
00:29:20what's up guys
00:29:22um we were just chatting chatting about jake's grand plans to kick balls
00:29:27was there something that you wanted cool hey just figured i'd bring us some mozzarella sticks
00:29:35they're your favorite right
00:29:38how did you know that
00:29:40tough day huh there's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria they're my favorite
00:29:45he couldn't be cool could he
00:29:53the truth is um a dickhead
00:29:57he honestly get out of your bro you came to my table bro and knocked my ball away
00:30:08there it goes again cole is jealous we got a problem here cole we don't have a problem we don't
00:30:15have a
00:30:15problem right tell cole to get my ball and we don't have a problem jake it would take me forever
00:30:22to
00:30:22find one of your balls
00:30:25i have the ball now can we stop measuring each other's dicks
00:30:30cole and jake are fighting over hayley maybe i can use that
00:30:38jake hey what if i told you that i have an internship opportunity for you with my dad wait
00:30:43seriously yeah just one little catch you have to pretend to like hallie raw
00:30:50all right you have the rest of the period to work on your lab reports if you have any questions
00:30:55i'll
00:30:55be at my desk i thought guacamole wizard would feel more like cole but if he's really jake then maybe
00:31:03this was always going to end you've literally been sorry for five minutes i'm thinking about the report
00:31:09or about him why are you making it so weird about jake we literally made out of a sword room
00:31:14maybe maybe i've known jake longer no you don't how do you know that you're going to prom with
00:31:19someone else stop acting like you're serious about me you have no idea
00:31:28oh my god is jake asking me to prom
00:31:44hayley someone's here to see you
00:31:58are you asking me to prom too cheesy no it's cute the accident the mozzarella sticks
00:32:07he is guacamole wizard so um what do you think you want to go to prom with me
00:32:14i i should feel happy but why does this feel so wrong hey can we not
00:32:24hey can we not dude seriously what is your problem my problem here dude is that me and my lab
00:32:30partner
00:32:30have work to do and you're out here to strike me with bad puns wow that is some weak
00:32:36shit man oh that's weak shit is this weak shit oh my god
00:32:51wow he's got really pretty eyes
00:32:59wait wait i can't colt put me down put me down put me down don't do that again
00:33:19new couple alert
00:33:21fuck off jen why do you hate me so much cool you and i we're not that different and if
00:33:26you'd realize
00:33:27and give me a chance i think that we would make a great match like say if you asked me
00:33:32to prom i might
00:33:34say yes
00:33:37jen you want to go to prom with me jen you want to go to prom with me we're both
00:33:44hot and we're both rich
00:33:45and our dads have been in business like forever so how romantic i think i'll pass you're gonna regret
00:33:54this cole edmunds
00:34:00if i message corcamole wizard i wonder if jake's phone will ding
00:34:06what should we wear to prom and the dean's list
00:34:18um i'll talk to you later i'll see you around school okay okay yeah i'll see you later bye
00:34:23he's so different maybe he's still recovering from the accident
00:34:28i'll see you later
00:34:46okay
00:34:46here i'll get it
00:34:53oh you're scared of me seeing all the girls on your phone
00:34:56I don't care.
00:34:57I do care.
00:34:59Hell yeah.
00:35:16I don't go to Bromachig.
00:35:18I mean, he only knows you like mozzarella sticks because of me.
00:35:21He doesn't even know you.
00:35:22And you do?
00:35:23How do you know I like mozzarella sticks?
00:35:26That's something I've only ever talked about.
00:35:27Because I pay attention to what you like.
00:35:31I noticed it at lunch.
00:35:33The first day.
00:35:35You were watching me?
00:35:38Just don't go to Bromachig.
00:35:54Move.
00:35:56Cole is talking to Haley again.
00:35:58Your job is to keep them away from each other, Jake.
00:36:01Unless you don't want that internship that my dad got you.
00:36:03Obviously I do.
00:36:05Okay, then break them up, idiot.
00:36:08What do I do?
00:36:11I've got a few ideas.
00:36:16Hey, look.
00:36:19Someone will take you to Brom.
00:36:21All right, I promise.
00:36:22Yeah?
00:36:22Really, like who?
00:36:23I mean, the whole school hates me, except for Jake.
00:36:27And you.
00:36:28But you're not asking me.
00:36:31Hey.
00:36:32Oh, hey, Jake.
00:36:34Hey, Hal.
00:36:35Um, I just wanted to thank you again for the other night.
00:36:40The other night?
00:36:41Yeah, it was so sexy.
00:36:46You're so sexy.
00:36:48Jake, what are you talking about?
00:36:50Here, I'm talking about you.
00:36:51Oh, I hate to break it to you, asshole, but she's my prom date.
00:37:00And she's a real tiger in the pep room.
00:37:04Oh, shit.
00:37:06Oh, shit.
00:37:18Oh, my God.
00:37:23Stop, guys.
00:37:24Stop it.
00:37:25Stop.
00:37:25Stop.
00:37:27What the hell is going on over there?
00:37:31Shit.
00:37:32It's Principal Stevens.
00:37:33I've got to save Cole.
00:37:34I mean, Jake.
00:37:35I've got to save Jake.
00:37:41Oh, my God.
00:37:43Principal Stevens, I'm so sorry.
00:37:46Hayley Rock.
00:37:47That's detention.
00:37:48After school.
00:37:50Don't be late.
00:38:06Cole, what are you doing here?
00:38:09Can we keep you company?
00:38:11It's the least I could do after you saved my ass today.
00:38:15The locker thing, that was an accident.
00:38:18Oh, sure.
00:38:21So, uh, you and Jake, huh?
00:38:25No.
00:38:27He lied about that.
00:38:28I don't know why, though.
00:38:29Good.
00:38:31You know, father of the asshole, every time he looks at you, makes me sick to my stomach.
00:38:37Thinking about him touching you, kissing you.
00:38:40I could kill him.
00:38:41I could kill him.
00:38:44Promise me you won't go to prom with it.
00:38:48Okay, fine.
00:38:49I won't.
00:38:53Because I want to go to prom with you.
00:38:57Okay, everyone, let's start off by mixing our sodium bicarbonate.
00:39:08Oh, my God.
00:39:09I am so fed up with this.
00:39:29Sorry.
00:39:30I tripped.
00:39:31No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:39:32Jet.
00:39:33What?
00:39:34It always has to be about her, doesn't it?
00:39:39They're dead.
00:39:41They're both dead.
00:39:42Oh.
00:39:44How am I going to be able to talk to guacamole wizard?
00:39:48Oh.
00:39:49What are you?
00:39:50Are you almost crying?
00:39:53It's probably because you can't afford a new one.
00:39:56Jen, what's going on over there?
00:40:01Oh.
00:40:09What's going on is Jen is getting a taste of her own medicine.
00:40:12This squirming is burning.
00:40:14Mr. Edmonds.
00:40:15Oh, please.
00:40:15It's baking soda and water.
00:40:17You're fine.
00:40:18Detention.
00:40:18Today, after school.
00:40:20Shh.
00:40:33Jake, hey.
00:40:35Oh, sorry.
00:40:36Got to get to student council.
00:40:40Hey, you didn't even try the rice trick.
00:40:42The rice trick?
00:40:46Yeah.
00:40:48You don't know about the...
00:40:50Come on.
00:41:03Hey, I'm Ella.
00:41:06It's Emma.
00:41:08Yeah, that's what I said.
00:41:10Can you hack a broken laptop?
00:41:20Hey, it's going to be okay.
00:41:22We'll pour out in a few more minutes and it'll be like the whole thing never happened.
00:41:26No, it's not just the phone or the laptop.
00:41:29It means...
00:41:29It means I can't...
00:41:31It means I can't do it.
00:41:31Can't what?
00:41:35I talked to a friend online.
00:41:38He's really important to me.
00:41:42And I'm sure you're really important to him.
00:41:55You know, Cole, if you look past all that hair gel and big ol' ego and rich kid bravara...
00:42:03Okay, okay, I get it.
00:42:08You're kind of sweet.
00:42:13Hey, look at that.
00:42:16Oh, my God.
00:42:19Oh, my God.
00:42:21You're a miracle worker.
00:42:27Oh, what is taking so long?
00:42:30You doused this thing in sodium bicarbonate.
00:42:32Shut up, Ella.
00:42:33It's Emma.
00:42:34Whatever.
00:42:41Oh, my God.
00:42:44Oh.
00:42:49Oh, morning, valley whore.
00:42:52How are things in the castle?
00:42:58Valley whore?
00:43:00What are they talking about?
00:43:16Guacamole wizard, when can we be together in person?
00:43:19Guacamole wizard, I want you so badly, I dream about you touching me.
00:43:23Oh, my God.
00:43:24Someone hacked my Castle Claimers messages.
00:43:26Touch me, guacamole wizard.
00:43:30Yeah, hey, valley whore.
00:43:31Show them what you really like.
00:43:51Here you go.
00:43:53Here, this is for you.
00:43:58Oh, do you like what I've done with the place?
00:44:00You hacked my laptop?
00:44:03Oh, no, it wasn't me.
00:44:04It was that kid, Ella.
00:44:05But I definitely got to reap the benefits.
00:44:08What kind of incel sex over a video game, Hayley?
00:44:11What are you, catfishing this guy?
00:44:13No, I'm not trying to catfish him.
00:44:14Hey, everyone.
00:44:15I think valley whore is a catfish.
00:44:19Because who in their right mind would spend their time thirsting over you?
00:44:47Stop it, stop, stop.
00:44:52I thought I'd say the janitor's in time.
00:44:57Jake!
00:44:58Hey.
00:45:00Now is the time.
00:45:02Tell them.
00:45:03Tell them what?
00:45:04That you're a guacamole wizard.
00:45:07Who's guacamole wizard?
00:45:10Here you go.
00:45:13Oh, my God.
00:45:15Did you think that Jake was your secret little online boyfriend?
00:45:18Oh, sweetie, I've been bribing him this whole time to pretend to like you.
00:45:22What?
00:45:23Why would you do that?
00:45:24Oh, I don't know, Cole.
00:45:25Why do you think I would do that?
00:45:28Jake, is this true?
00:45:30Have you been pretending to like me this whole time?
00:45:34Sorry.
00:45:35It was nothing personal.
00:45:42Yeah, nothing personal, huh?
00:45:45Oh!
00:45:45Oh!
00:45:47Oh!
00:45:48Oh!
00:45:50All right, all right, all right.
00:45:52Enough!
00:45:52What in the world is going on here?
00:45:55Is that a leaf blower?
00:45:56That's all him.
00:45:57Okay, well, you both have detention, so...
00:46:05Let me get this straight.
00:46:06You stole a leaf blower and defaced school property?
00:46:10It wasn't school property, Dad.
00:46:11It was Jen's cyber boy spreadsheets.
00:46:13Jesus Christ, how does she always get away with this shit?
00:46:17Could it be because her father's running for Senate, Cole?
00:46:19You think that's what it could be?
00:46:21Who cares?
00:46:22I care.
00:46:23And I hear she's got an eye for you.
00:46:26So you're taking her to prom.
00:46:28What?
00:46:29It's not over my dead body.
00:46:30Oh, because you're like that Haley girl?
00:46:33I'm firing her mother right now.
00:46:35No, no, please don't.
00:46:37Please.
00:46:38Then you're taking Jen to prom.
00:46:40Max's dad called.
00:46:41He said he's having a party tomorrow.
00:46:43You're going to go, and you're going to ask Jen to prom.
00:46:46End of discussion.
00:46:53Come on, you big coward.
00:46:54Message him.
00:46:56Just do it.
00:46:57Just do it.
00:47:00You must think I'm the biggest idiot.
00:47:08I could never think that.
00:47:15But I thought you were Jake.
00:47:17Please, can't you just tell me now?
00:47:19I think I've had enough public humiliation for one lifetime.
00:47:25I heard that guy Max is throwing a party tomorrow.
00:47:28If you want, I'll meet you there.
00:47:41Okay.
00:47:42You got this, Haley.
00:47:44Just take a deep breath.
00:47:45You got this.
00:47:47You got this.
00:47:51You look beautiful.
00:47:55Thank you, Mom.
00:48:14Hey, Haley.
00:48:15I'm glad you came.
00:48:16You look so pretty.
00:48:18Hi.
00:48:19Hey, Max.
00:48:20Your house is gorgeous.
00:48:22I mean...
00:48:22No, it's just my parents' blood money.
00:48:24You know, they're upstairs watching The Last of Us right now.
00:48:26They don't care about shit.
00:48:27Get drunk, girl.
00:48:28Woo!
00:48:31Yeah.
00:48:42What are you doing here?
00:48:44Valley whore.
00:48:46Looks like the catfish came out of the pond.
00:48:49Hey, everyone.
00:48:50Let's give it up for Valley Whore.
00:48:51Valley Whore!
00:48:57Jen, why are you doing this?
00:48:58What have I even done to you?
00:48:59To me?
00:49:00Oh, I'm actually concerned about our whole community because those little cringy messages on your castle game.
00:49:06Those are concerning.
00:49:07Actually, I kind of feel a bit of a perv.
00:49:09Did you know that, Haley?
00:49:12She's a little pervy princess.
00:49:14Pervy princess.
00:49:16Pervy princess.
00:49:18Pervy princess.
00:49:20Pervy princess.
00:49:22Hey, let's get pervy tonight.
00:49:25Leave me alone.
00:49:27Wait, is there a fire?
00:49:29Okay, we set off the alarm.
00:49:43Paul?
00:50:02We set off the alarm.
00:50:21are you him would you stop trying to find your stupid little cyber boyfriend okay cole is not
00:50:28him anyways we are going to the prom together no i'm not yes you are it's okay you can be
00:50:35honest about your feelings so you too this whole time oh my god i am such an idiot hey wait
00:50:47wait
00:50:53please at least take my jackets you know if you really wanted to humiliate me you didn't have to
00:50:57go to the extra effort jen was doing just fine i wasn't trying to humiliate you then what were
00:51:01you're trying to do i guess you obviously the white clothes were just an added bonus i knew i
00:51:07shouldn't have trusted you now what about guacamole was it what are you
00:51:21who is that just the devil get in the car
00:51:30i'm not going to ask you again cole get in the car thank you just act normal for once and
00:51:35please
00:51:35introduce yourself to hayley i already assumed that's who this was i'm a striven so you're the
00:51:43scholarship trash that's hell bent on ruining cole's life well i've got news for you young lady my son
00:51:50is going to marry a good girl from a respectable family and that's not you you will be forgotten
00:51:57you're a maid's daughter and your mom works for me stay away from him or i swear to god
00:52:04your mother is fire dad stop don't you touch my family i'll stay away
00:52:12hey come on you don't mean that i hate everything you stand for i hate your greed and your callousness
00:52:21and your elitist ideas of what you think a good person looks like i hate everything about you
00:52:27i hate all of it i don't want any part of it so cole go with your dad
00:52:44no laptop and no phone for a week ever since mom died you've turned into this cold patriarch
00:52:50hey we're not that's real love why do you have to make me so miserable
00:52:53i promised your mother i would make you a success son even if it meant saving you from yourself
00:53:06hi hayley i'm emma i know you are right i just felt kind of bad that i accidentally helped
00:53:14and ruin your life so i wanted to return your laptop to you good as new
00:53:23oh wow thanks emma okay bye
00:53:32one down one to go you're so cool i know emma want to go to prom why not
00:53:41let's get these lovers together
00:53:48hi mr edmund hi max and max's friend sorry we weren't expecting you cole's grounded
00:53:55oh he is but it was his 18th birthday today what can i say max actions have consequences
00:54:03birthday or no cole is grounded well that really sucks because he's uh also the president of the
00:54:11prom committee we were supposed to review budgets today cole my son cole reviewing budgets he's never
00:54:20reviewed a budget a day in his life well mr admitts today could be that day and we just have
00:54:24to give
00:54:24him back this school sanctioned laptop so we can get back to his very important and very respectable budgetary
00:54:39go away
00:54:44max what what are you guys doing here happy birthday cole i brought you my laptop and logged into your
00:54:50castle
00:54:50claimers account just get it back to me by tomorrow
00:54:53what what's going on dude it's your 18th birthday you could tell hayley who you are now you can be
00:54:58together just log into this stupid game and tell the girl who you love who you really are
00:55:04no i'll tell her myself stick me in your car
00:55:14welcome all the wizard
00:55:18mom i'm fine i just need some time alone
00:55:29open the door wait what he's here
00:55:41it's you
00:55:43i should have given you this to you a long time ago
00:55:47anyway i wanted to tell you who i was from the very beginning
00:55:50my dad threatened to follow your mom and i had to wait a really long time
00:55:54to tell you who i was i got my inheritance
00:55:57and i can protect you and your family and so you don't have to choose
00:56:12here we go
00:56:14i understand if this changes things if you don't love me the way you
00:56:19you love guacamole wizard but i i need you to know i love you
00:56:36cool i love you
00:56:38you do
00:56:40yes you idiot
00:56:42i've loved you for months
00:56:43i mean
00:56:44this whole guacamole wizard thing was so confusing though
00:56:47because i had to be loyal to him and
00:56:50but you're him
00:56:52you didn't expect her
00:56:54i mean
00:56:55i
00:56:56i always hoped it was you
00:56:59until you hoped
00:57:01yes
00:57:02i hoped it was you
00:57:04you were always there for me
00:57:10you're really fucking hot
00:57:11i'm gonna be pushing things
00:57:15hey uh
00:57:16one of those things i said we could do
00:57:20here we go
00:57:22yeah
00:57:25take my clothes off
00:57:26you're getting there don't worry
00:57:30i don't know
00:57:31i'm so veal you
00:57:32just feel me
00:57:35i'm so veal you
00:57:38ohhh
00:57:39ohhh
00:57:42ohhh
00:57:42just feel me
00:57:49okay so
00:57:50what do you think
00:57:5210 out of 10
00:57:53you know
00:57:54yeah
00:57:55we'll do it again
00:57:56I'll get sex for sex with me specifically.
00:57:58I've only ever had sex with you specifically.
00:58:02All right.
00:58:02All right, that's fair.
00:58:04I'll take that as a win.
00:58:11What is my life now?
00:58:13Am I being nice to Cole Agnots?
00:58:15Oh, God, no.
00:58:16I fully expect you to continue to berate me endlessly.
00:58:21No, I'm just lost behind it.
00:58:24There's always been lost behind it.
00:58:26I'll see you in a minute, Mom.
00:58:28Stop it.
00:58:31I think you know if it's prom or not.
00:58:38Okay.
00:58:40But the real question is, do you get a date?
00:58:44Cole, are you asking me to prom?
00:58:46I would have asked you earlier, but Jay kind of gave me to the gym.
00:58:50Oh, God, please don't mention his name again.
00:58:52I don't want to hear it.
00:58:53Yeah, you don't have to ask me twice.
00:58:56But I don't even have a dress.
00:58:58Waiter.
00:59:03I just slept with Cole Edmonds, and I'm in love with Cole Edmonds.
00:59:07Who would have guessed?
00:59:11I thought only the best for my princess.
00:59:15Where did you get that?
00:59:18I might have gotten you a dress on the off chance that you might have wanted to go to prom
00:59:24with me and maybe had nothing to wear.
00:59:28Of course, they're going to go to prom with you.
00:59:34Mr. Edmonds, I didn't expect you to be here.
00:59:38Cole, are you here?
00:59:40Cole, are you here?
00:59:44Mr. Edmonds, you can't just park into my house like this.
00:59:47I see you, Cole.
00:59:47You are in big trouble.
01:00:05Hey, uh, you almost done in there?
01:00:08You try changing into an evening gown in a bunch of thorny bushes.
01:00:14Okay, I'm ready.
01:00:26What do you think?
01:00:31My God, Haley, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.
01:00:36Uh-uh-uh.
01:00:38I just hunched over in a car mirror to do this lipstick.
01:00:40You're not messing it up for at least 20 minutes.
01:00:4320 more minutes.
01:00:45We're in.
01:00:46Deal.
01:00:49Thank you all for using the prom voting site to cast your votes.
01:00:54I hear we have a winner.
01:00:57And your 2026 prom queen is Jen Longfellow.
01:01:06Oh, my God.
01:01:08Thank you guys so much.
01:01:11Seriously, this means the world to me.
01:01:12I mean, like, who else would win, right?
01:01:16This is just the perfect moment.
01:01:22Oh, my God.
01:01:23That's Haley and Cole.
01:01:26It was fun.
01:01:27Since when did you get this?
01:01:32Hey, or, uh...
01:01:34Most time that's up.
01:01:35No.
01:01:36But who cares?
01:01:39Hell yeah.
01:01:40Woo!
01:01:43Ew, literally, what the fuck?
01:01:45Damn.
01:01:46Language.
01:01:46I am the queen, okay?
01:01:48She's just a little pervy princess.
01:01:51Come on.
01:01:51Everyone say it with me.
01:01:53Pervy princess.
01:01:54Pervy princess.
01:01:55Pervy princess.
01:01:57Pervy princess.
01:02:00Pervy princess.
01:02:01Wait.
01:02:02Wait, wait, wait.
01:02:03What are those?
01:02:04Those are texts between me and my dad.
01:02:06Make Cole Edmonds fall in love with you.
01:02:09His dad's month is essential to funding my campaign.
01:02:13Don't worry, Daddy.
01:02:15If I can't have him, no one can.
01:02:18I'm gonna destroy Haley Roth's life.
01:02:21Is this real?
01:02:22Jen's crazy.
01:02:25Who did this?
01:02:26Who did this?
01:02:30What?
01:02:31You exploited me for a hacking job and didn't think I was gonna hack your phone?
01:02:34You little shit.
01:02:36You know, Jen, as the principal, I'm supposed to remain impartial and above all of this petty drama.
01:02:45But quite frankly, you are the worst.
01:02:49And I think it's time that you are expelled from Edmonds Academy.
01:02:54You can't do that.
01:02:55I'm the principal, so yes, I can.
01:03:06There was no internship.
01:03:09You lied to me.
01:03:16Haley, catch.
01:03:21Oh.
01:03:23My princess finally has her crown.
01:03:26Now all I need is my handsome prince.
01:03:29Oh.
01:03:30Yeah, no can do.
01:03:31All I have to offer is a Bowie Knight with a chip on his shoulder and an awesome sense of
01:03:37humor.
01:03:38Oof.
01:03:39How can I refuse?
01:03:45Oh, no.
01:03:46That's my dad.
01:03:49We are going home right now.
01:03:52You disobeyed me for the last time, boy.
01:03:54Yeah, I'm not a boy, Dad.
01:03:57You talk all the time about wanting a man that's worthy of the family last name.
01:04:01Yet, you can't see I've already become that man.
01:04:05And it's because of Haley.
01:04:07And you can accept that, or I'll make my own path.
01:04:10And best believe me, I can.
01:04:12I'll say this.
01:04:14That's the most backbone I've ever seen in you, Cole.
01:04:19Joy Pro.
01:04:27I am so proud of you.
01:04:30I kind of done with all you being by my side.
01:04:34That was terrifying.
01:04:35It's not like we haven't slayed a dragon before, though, so...
01:04:40I love you, Belly Queen.
01:04:41I love you, guacamole wizard.
01:04:44Oh, my God, I've got to change that username.
01:04:46Yeah, you do.
01:04:47Hey.
01:04:47Oh, my God, I'm so proud of you.
01:04:50Oh, my God, I'm so proud of you.
01:04:51Oh, my God, I'm so proud of you.
01:04:52Oh, my God, I'm so proud of you.
01:04:52Oh, my God, I'm so proud of you.
01:04:53Oh, my God, I'm so proud of you.
01:04:53Oh, my God, I'm so proud of you.
01:04:53Oh, my God, I'm so proud of you.
01:04:54Oh, my God, I'm so proud of you.
01:04:54Oh, my God, I'm so proud of you.
01:04:55Oh, my God, I'm so proud of you.
01:04:57Oh, my God, I'm so proud of you.
01:04:59Oh, my God, I'm so proud of you.
01:05:02You
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