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Age of Attraction - Season 1 - Episode 07: Can You Tell Us His Age?
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00:13We're getting ready to go meet my family or friends.
00:17I don't know who's here for me.
00:19I'm pumped.
00:20I'm really excited.
00:21Yeah, so wish us luck.
00:27When's the last time you met someone's family?
00:29It's been a while.
00:30Okay.
00:31Do you remember why you like me?
00:32Here we go.
00:34I see somebody.
00:35Excuse us.
00:39I'm crying.
00:40I'm screaming.
00:42I love you so much.
00:45This is Hayley.
00:46Hi, Hayley.
00:47This is Logan.
00:48Oh, my God.
00:49I am so happy you're here.
00:53Cheers.
00:54Cheers.
00:55Cheers to Hayley.
00:56Cheers.
00:56So, Hayley.
00:58Hi.
00:59She's a Leo.
00:59He's a Leo.
01:00Oh, my gosh.
01:01What's your birthday?
01:01Here we go again with the star talk.
01:03No, I don't believe in that.
01:05Remember, we don't believe in that.
01:06Yeah, okay.
01:07So, anyways, we became best friends, and she did not know how old I was.
01:11How old did you think I was when we were hanging out?
01:13Maybe five years older than me.
01:15And I told her, and she laid in fetal position.
01:18Because I was shocked.
01:19Really?
01:19Yeah, she looks good.
01:20I mean, you know, I mean...
01:21So, Logan did not know my age.
01:22So, how old are you looking?
01:23Wait, let's tell her our story first.
01:25Okay.
01:25Let's tell her our story first.
01:27Yeah.
01:27Okay.
01:28Tell her how we met.
01:30You want to go?
01:31No, no.
01:32I'm an interrupter.
01:33Yeah, she interrupts me a lot.
01:34Um, so, yeah, we met at this retreat, and the whole point of the retreat was, like, you
01:40know, go in, not think about age, not talking about age.
01:42That's, that was, like, the goal.
01:44And out of all the women there, I connected with Vanessa the most.
01:48And, uh, I wanted to continue, you know, seeing it out.
01:51Obviously, I just felt like we had a connection, and...
01:54And then after that, we moved in together.
01:56Yeah.
01:57Okay.
01:57And now we're here.
01:58And how is that, how is that, um, yeah, Tyler was living with Vanessa.
02:02It's been fun.
02:03I mean, she's, she's, you can tell, she's a strong, independent woman.
02:09Are you keeping up?
02:10You know, I try, um, but it looks like I think I'm doing a good job.
02:14I don't know.
02:15I mean, we have our ups and downs, but it's good.
02:17And I think, uh...
02:18Tell me, tell me about that.
02:19I think...
02:20What are the downs?
02:20You know, it's like, we, I mean, we're too fiery, like, we're, we have a very fiery personality.
02:25Yeah, you're a leader.
02:25Like, you know, we do fight, I'm not gonna lie.
02:28I mean, we kind of tell each other how it is, and, you know, how we feel.
02:31Like, he kind of matches my energy, and I match his energy.
02:34Yeah.
02:35Now we're just, you know...
02:36Then we can get to the age.
02:37We're not getting to the age yet.
02:39Do you want to get to the age?
02:40You wanted to get to the age early on.
02:41I'm saving so much what you said anything.
02:42Well, you're sorry.
02:43No.
02:43Chops goes in so many pieces.
02:44I know, I'm sorry.
02:45I'm sorry.
02:46Say this, say this.
02:47What do you want me to say?
02:48Okay, I'm sorry.
02:48I'm just really excited.
02:49Is this, like, that fighting that I'm seeing right now?
02:52The fieriness between us?
02:53Yeah, because it's like, say this, say this.
02:54Oh, don't talk about the age.
02:55Talk about the age.
02:56Oh, don't talk about the age.
02:57All right, say what you want to say.
02:58Guess how old you.
02:59No, I'm just saying it.
02:59Okay, just guess how old you.
03:00I want her to guess.
03:0238.
03:03One more.
03:04How old are you?
03:06I'm 29.
03:09Are you screaming, crying through ourself?
03:11No.
03:11Here's the thing, though.
03:12Here's the thing.
03:12Here, let's put it.
03:13Time out of the topic.
03:14You guys are best friends, though.
03:16Vanessa's young.
03:17No, and that's why we click so well.
03:19Like, even, like, when we're in the apartment,
03:21I don't feel the age difference, you know?
03:24But then sometimes, like, if you go out,
03:26or, like, this conversation, you get reminded of it,
03:28and it's, like, that part's hard,
03:29but it's, like, everything else has been really...
03:32When I think of Vanessa, I mean,
03:33I feel like we're the same thing.
03:34Right, right, right, right.
03:35But what I want to say is, like,
03:36I think it's so cool my best friend is 32.
03:39Yeah.
03:39And my best guy is 29.
03:42Like, and I'm 49.
03:43Best guy, top of the roster.
03:44She's the top of the roster.
03:45He's my only one.
03:46Stop.
03:48You're the only one.
03:48Oh, my gosh.
03:50What?
03:51I just...
03:52It's crazy.
03:53You know, I wasn't happy to see
03:56Haley's reaction to, like, how old I actually am.
03:58I'm constantly reminded of the age gap
04:02with my parents, with the outside world,
04:05now with Haley, and, you know, it's tough.
04:08It's the reality of, you know,
04:09our life together so far.
04:11So, um, hopefully Vanessa's saying good things.
04:14Uh, but, you know, you never know.
04:17Obviously, you know my dating story.
04:19Yes.
04:19I want to hear, like,
04:20what your impression of him got.
04:21I don't know.
04:22Like, I thought it was kind of weird.
04:25The way you guys, like, literally got
04:28in, like, these, like, little mini fights.
04:30Yeah.
04:31Like, what's going on there?
04:31Is it, like, in a fun way?
04:34Or is this in, like, a bad way?
04:35I know.
04:36A bad way.
04:36Okay.
04:36Does this remind you of any relationships of mine?
04:39All of them.
04:39Yes, I know.
04:41Seriously.
04:42So, at some point, I'm like,
04:43is this me or is this him
04:45or do I just pick really strong personality?
04:48I don't know.
04:49I don't like that.
04:50And I think that the meeting,
04:52obviously, this is a strange situation,
04:55but that was bad vibes.
04:57It's just a bad interaction.
04:59He literally had a mini fight with you,
05:01like, twice while we were sitting there.
05:02Yes.
05:02Like, that's weird.
05:03Yeah.
05:04Do you think that's weird?
05:05Yes.
05:05So, that's what I want to talk about.
05:07So, we move in together.
05:08I thought we were friends.
05:09And, like, then finally,
05:11like, it got to be more than friends.
05:12But, like, I...
05:13Wait, you move in together
05:14and you feel like you guys are just friends?
05:15And for, like, the first couple of days,
05:17he was, like, sleeping with a pillow in between us
05:20and saying his prayers at night.
05:21I mean, that seems, like, significant.
05:22It's just, like, these dumb little things
05:24that make me think he's still a little childish.
05:27You know?
05:28I mean, 29.
05:29But I think, like, I look at you and you're 32
05:30and I don't feel, like, an age difference
05:32between you and I at all.
05:34Like, you're that person, like, you need the fight.
05:36But that's all I'm hearing is, like, friend blessed.
05:38I know.
05:39Oh, me too.
05:39And at first, I was, like, me too.
05:41I was excusing them as, like, yellow pie.
05:44Are you, like, ready to take this home, like,
05:46to the next level?
05:47Like, you want to continue this really...
05:49Yeah.
05:50So...
05:50I mean, obviously, things would be...
05:53Yeah.
05:53...different.
05:54Sure.
05:54So, for me, I feel like...
05:59Honestly, this thing that we've been through
06:02has bonded us together.
06:03Yeah.
06:03Like, in a way that, like, I've never been
06:06with anyone else, you know?
06:07In the beginning, it was great.
06:09And then it got a little lukewarm.
06:11And then it was bad.
06:12And then it was good.
06:13And now I'm just like, where am I?
06:15Like, it's been, like...
06:15So...
06:16I've been running in circles with it.
06:19Do you think it's his age?
06:20Or do you think it's his personality type?
06:22It's sounding to me that it could be
06:25just a little bit of both.
06:26Yeah.
06:28Maybe he's, like, having an issue with the age,
06:31and that's why he's so hot and cold.
06:33Yeah.
06:33And, like, causing these problems.
06:36I know.
06:37Yeah.
06:38So, like, what is...
06:40So, should he, like, take that ring off your finger?
06:42Yeah.
06:44In relationships, Vanessa normally
06:46wants somebody super outgoing,
06:49the life of the party.
06:50I think she needs somebody a little bit younger,
06:53somebody who's still outgoing, fun,
06:56not a lot of baggage.
06:57But at the same time,
06:59that's kind of, like, where things might come into a problem
07:01because he is those things.
07:04So, you know, do I think this is the best thing for her?
07:07I'm not sure.
07:08No, we can't take this for granted anymore.
07:14I gave everything I'm for.
07:22Oh, parachute pants.
07:24Not really.
07:25I like these.
07:26They are not parachute pants.
07:28They're just...
07:29That was the year I was born.
07:31Oh, my God.
07:32Awesome.
07:32Good to know.
07:34Um, I went to breakfast with my sister.
07:39She kept asking me about age and stuff,
07:41and I told her.
07:45Okay.
07:46It's important for them to know.
07:48Yeah, but, like, they don't know me.
07:50But I know you,
07:51so they need to know about who you are.
07:53I just...
07:55It's hard for me to sort of, like,
07:57understand how they could, like, accept me
08:00given all of those, like,
08:03very different circumstances.
08:05I would think that they would be like,
08:07how can you know that you feel the way you do?
08:12I think my people are going to be a little bit more cautious.
08:17I know my kids.
08:19I know that they want me to be happy.
08:21They want me to find someone.
08:25You know, they love me.
08:30So they...
08:34I, you know, I can't imagine that they'd be, like,
08:38against what I want, but...
08:40Mm-hmm.
08:41I don't know.
08:44I mean, it's scary.
08:47Yeah, I think the more we talk about it,
08:49the more scared I get,
08:50because I'm worried that...
08:51that something I can't control
08:54is going to fuck this up.
08:56I get it.
08:57I don't want to get blindsided.
08:59I just need to know from you,
09:01is it worth it for me
09:02to continue to invest in this?
09:07Do you think we can navigate that backlash together?
09:11I mean, this is just really hard,
09:15but it's just, like,
09:16I wish we didn't have this stupid complication.
09:20What complication?
09:21Like, just the worry about people's perceptions
09:24and judgments and age stuff.
09:26But it's a complication on your side.
09:28I'm only stressed about it
09:30because you're stressed about it.
09:31And you're so stressed about it.
09:35Emotions are running hard
09:38I know what they're making things
09:47You said it's hard.
09:48Mm-mm.
09:49We're meeting somebody.
09:50I'm like a viper.
09:51Nervous as shit.
09:53Hey!
09:54Don't call me out like that.
09:56You're nervous, too.
09:57I am.
09:58Very.
10:04I'm happy to see you, actually.
10:06I'm so happy.
10:07You didn't expect to see me.
10:08No.
10:09So happy.
10:09Oh, my God.
10:10Well, I gotta get my hat.
10:12I'm super excited to see my best friend and my cousin.
10:15Good to see you.
10:16Hi.
10:17Nice to meet you.
10:18Nice to meet you.
10:19I'm good.
10:19I'm good.
10:20What is your name?
10:21Pfeiffer.
10:21Pfeiffer.
10:22Ray-Therese.
10:23Nice to meet you.
10:24She's seen me at low points, so she's protective of me and, you know, my feelings and my heart.
10:31So I definitely know she's going to have some tough questions.
10:36Derek is definitely a pivotal point of my life, so I'm just wanting to see how you guys connect.
10:42Have you guys talked about any future plans, or have you thought about any future plans?
10:47Yeah.
10:47Yeah.
10:48Yeah, we have.
10:49So she's currently in Seattle.
10:51Oh, Seattle.
10:52Nice.
10:52Okay.
10:52And, like, her contract where she's working is up in three months.
10:56Wow.
10:57So, right, yeah.
10:58All right, timing.
10:59Okay.
10:59Yeah.
11:00All of that's lined up.
11:00So we talked about, obviously, me having the boys, right?
11:04So she's open to moving because, obviously, I'm stationary.
11:07I can't.
11:07Correct.
11:08And you are living in Seattle currently.
11:10Yes.
11:11Yes.
11:11So that would be a big move for you if you were to move to Texas.
11:15It would be.
11:16I'm originally from Pittsburgh.
11:18Okay.
11:18So I moved from Pittsburgh to Seattle by myself.
11:22Nice.
11:23A big, I mean, cross-country change.
11:26But I've always been the type of person to kind of go for that sort of adventure.
11:31And I like change, especially, I mean, be a good reason.
11:36Right.
11:37You definitely changed.
11:37It was very important for me to establish that when I'm moving to Dallas, like, I do want
11:43to be, like, fight for it.
11:44Like, I still want to be myself.
11:46Correct.
11:46My group of people.
11:47Correct.
11:48Um, because you can't, you can't rely on just one relationship for, to be your only relationship
11:53in your life.
11:54Um, because that's a lot of pressure for one person to be everything.
11:58And that's kind of what I was gearing towards, too, considering the kiddos.
12:02It's like, how do you feel about?
12:04Yeah.
12:04I mean, I knew, um, right when I started talking to Derek that he had children.
12:08And that's, like, very important to me.
12:10Correct.
12:11Um, and I knew that he wouldn't be able to move.
12:13But I am in the position where I can.
12:15Okay.
12:15Um, and I take, I mean, I take family seriously.
12:18I really want a big family with lots of kids.
12:21I'm assuming you don't have kids?
12:22No, I don't.
12:23And so you want a big family?
12:24Yes.
12:25And you would be okay with kind of incorporating yourself into a family?
12:28Absolutely, absolutely, yeah.
12:29Awesome.
12:30I mean, just more, more people to love.
12:32Exactly.
12:33Um, yeah.
12:34And remind me, I don't know, how old are you?
12:37I'm 23.
12:40Okay.
12:42I did not know that.
12:43Yeah, we did it a little bit different, a little far apart.
12:47Yeah, we didn't know.
12:48We had no concept of each other's age.
12:50Um, but it, yeah, I really have no, I have no person, like, I have no issue with age gaps.
12:55Um, I'm, I'm really, I am about, like, who is the person?
12:59Who, correct.
13:00Because it doesn't matter.
13:00I've been in alignment with her life.
13:03But have you dated someone with kids?
13:05I, no, I have never dated anybody with children.
13:08Okay.
13:09Um, I guess my biggest point of reference was, well, my parents,
13:13or were split up when I was really young.
13:15Um, and my dad was, like, basically a single dad.
13:18Um, so I had a lot of personal experience with, like, the step-parent figure.
13:23Okay.
13:24Um, I think there's definitely a way to go about, um, being, like, we've talked about
13:29being introduced to, to his, his children.
13:32Um, and I think it's really important to take the time before doing that.
13:36Yeah.
13:36Um, because I know how it's impacted me meeting people quickly.
13:40Um, like, the women that my dad was with.
13:43Um, I would never want to put Derek's children in that situation.
13:48And it seems like you're very understanding.
13:49Right.
13:50Which is honestly a very amazing characteristic, you know?
13:54But being, like, in the real world of things where it's like, hey, we only plan quality time.
13:59Right.
13:59Once a month.
14:00Well, Dom is calling now.
14:02Yeah.
14:02And he's saying, hey, I miss you, Dad.
14:05Right.
14:05And Derek goes with his son.
14:08How would that kind of look?
14:10Like, yeah, if I feel like time is not being made, it, I would just bring it up.
14:15And I would say, like, yeah, like, I'm feeling, like, can we get, like, one date in the books a
14:20month?
14:20Like, I don't need, I don't need a ton.
14:22You're not asking for every day.
14:25Piper's 23.
14:29I, that, that's, that's, that's, that's a gap.
14:34What does that really look like long term?
14:38Because 10 years from now, she could be a completely different person than she is today.
14:42And maybe those things that Piper mentioned she was okay with, maybe she wouldn't be okay with five years from
14:48now.
14:48Who knows?
14:49I think these are questions that are something to kind of think about.
14:53Totally.
14:54Absolutely.
14:55Yeah.
14:55We need to see when that storm hit.
14:57Right, what it looks like.
14:58What does it look like?
14:59Right, absolutely.
14:59And it will.
15:00It'll end.
15:00Like, that's, that's just life in general.
15:04Let me fade away through the night.
15:12How are you feeling?
15:16I'm okay.
15:17It could be better.
15:19Do you want to, do you want to talk a little bit?
15:21I mean, I don't, I don't, I don't know.
15:23When do you want to talk?
15:26Yeah, actually, I'd like to tell you how I'm feeling a little bit.
15:29You want to sit down?
15:29Yeah.
15:30Just give me a blankie.
15:31I have never been broken down this much in a relationship and I've never felt so exhausted in moments in
15:37relationships, but I care about Leah so much and I care about the connection that we've made.
15:41I want to make this work and move forward.
15:45I want to talk and all I really want to talk about was just to remind you that I see
15:49you and that I know that this is hard on you, just like this is hard on me, this whole
15:53process.
15:55But I want to be honest about the fact that the overbearingness, it's quite literally driving me nuts.
16:04Maybe I just think of it a little differently.
16:06I think I'm more of a, I'm trying to do like a we thing, but then it's like, I feel
16:11like you keep doing a me thing, which is cool.
16:13Well, I think it goes back to the fact that you don't want to be left alone, which I understand.
16:19I think what you realize is like, I'm left alone a lot.
16:23I'm a flight attendant.
16:24We're alone all the time.
16:27Like, trust me, when I'm alone, I'm alone and I have no problem with it.
16:31But it's like, I just don't understand.
16:33I don't know what is healthy for you and healthy for me and then like find us our healthy place.
16:40I'm struggling.
16:41Like, I'm really, really struggling.
16:42I know, I see it.
16:44And that's why I'm like, I don't, that's why for me, it's like, I don't know what to do for
16:47you.
16:48And like, I want you to be like your happy, healthy self.
16:51I just, I don't know.
16:52I just, I miss what it was like at the retreat.
16:55I know.
16:56And like, I miss the way you looked at me.
17:00I do.
17:02I, I, it hurts me to hear that like, you feel that I'm looking at you that way because I
17:08really am trying, my absolute heart is to make sure you feel loved.
17:14Like, I really am.
17:15And I'm just telling you that I won't leave this without giving all of that I got.
17:21That's, that's what I'll tell you, you know?
17:23And I, and I believe that you won't either.
17:25So I appreciate you hearing me.
17:28No, thank you for having this conversation with me.
17:30Yeah.
17:31Let's just take it day by day.
17:33We're good?
17:40We'll figure this out.
17:52Delicious.
17:53So good.
17:55Having my friends meet Libby really put things into perspective for me.
17:59I mean, integrating a 22-year-old girl into my life is definitely concerning.
18:06We live on different coasts, different time zones, kids, work, life, and what happens when we're back to all of
18:16that.
18:17So remember when we were like talking and you were telling me how you wish that you would have taken
18:24more time between college and the real world?
18:27Mm-hmm.
18:28And like traveled or moved abroad or something.
18:32Mm-hmm.
18:33I don't know.
18:33It's just been like on my mind.
18:35Like, I know we have the commitments that are coming up.
18:42Mm-hmm.
18:42And I feel like the closer we get to that, the more I've been in my head about like, is
18:49there a future with us?
18:50Are we aligned?
18:51Is our age going to be more of a factor?
18:53Mm-hmm.
18:54And I just know like when I was 22, I wasn't ready to be in a serious, committed relationship and
19:03I knew that.
19:04So it was just, I don't know, it's been something that's on my mind.
19:07And like if there's more life that you feel like you need to go and live and like do it
19:12by yourself, like I would understand that.
19:16To me, I don't view it as that.
19:17I'm not like, oh, this is somebody who's going to take away from my life and they're going to expect
19:21me to be a certain way or not travel, not have fun, not see my friends, whatever.
19:30I don't see it like that.
19:31I feel like you add to my life.
19:34I mean, I've already had so much fun with you.
19:35And like, to me, that's experiencing life.
19:38I know I'm a lot of fun, like right now.
19:41I am more boring at home.
19:43Yeah.
19:44I don't go out that much.
19:46There's definitely, my life is more just like established and settled.
19:51And I think that's always been an issue with me when I date like, you know, younger is like, am
19:56I holding you back from, you know, I guess what I wanted in my 20s?
20:02I don't know.
20:02Like, obviously, I'm only 22, but I don't think I'm as crazy as you might think.
20:07The most important things to me in my life have been stability and my friends and my family and, you
20:14know, like my career and keeping myself on track and all that stuff.
20:18Like, that's what feels good in life to me, not being crazy.
20:23Part of something I wanted to experience was a stable relationship with a normal person.
20:29An old guy.
20:31Really old.
20:32Really old guy.
20:33Really old person.
20:34I think it's just hard to hear a lot of hesitation from him.
20:38And I guess it hits me differently now that I've like opened up to him fully.
20:43There is a part of me that is nervous that if we get to the next step and we're outside
20:51of here, these doubts and reservations will just continue.
20:54And at that point, we will be fully in and that will only get harder.
21:01Every day we're getting closer, finally the way it is over, slipping out of the shadows.
21:11What do you mean?
21:12No, I'm good.
21:13Yeah?
21:13Yeah.
21:14Um, so you got to meet my friend, which I'm so happy because how ironic, like, my best friend and
21:22you are, like, the same age.
21:23It's pretty on brand.
21:24And I feel like, you know, I did not expect you, I expected nothing less of your best friend.
21:29I expected her to be young, vibrant, just like you.
21:31Yeah.
21:31It was cool to see you with your, with your girl, you know, like you were, you were shining as
21:36always.
21:36I'm so happy.
21:37What do you, what do you think her honest opinion is of me in this?
21:41I think she was just worried about the fighting thing, like, less saying the fighting.
21:44It kind of alerted her.
21:46Yeah.
21:47To, like, what is this fighting?
21:48What is going on?
21:49Like, how, is this a big deal type of thing?
21:51Like, does this, like, define us?
21:53Are we more than just having, like, little fights, you know?
21:57I mean, you tell me.
21:58I mean, I don't want it to.
21:59What do you think?
22:00No, I don't want it to define us.
22:01I don't either.
22:02I would like to just be able to, like, elevate both of us to a place where, like, we don't
22:08have to have the fighting anymore.
22:10You know what I mean?
22:11Right, right, right.
22:11Because it's just like, it's like a battle of egos, you know?
22:15Like, it's just not healthy and it's not good.
22:17And I don't want to do it.
22:18So, honestly, I'm, like, from this point on, I'm, like, I just want to pick the battles, like, if it's
22:24not worth fighting.
22:25And I feel like today was a good day.
22:26Like, you know, we got annoyed with each other, but we're, like, whatever, blow it off, you know?
22:30Yeah.
22:30So, I mean, do you think, like, eventually, like, just our little quips be, like, that's just Vanessa.
22:35I would hope so.
22:37You know?
22:37Like, I mean, it was funny because, like, at dinner, like, hey, was this a fight?
22:40You know, no, like, this is literally me talking and then all of a sudden you going, like, no, talk
22:46about this, talk about this, talk about this.
22:47And, like, going in circles, I'm like, Vanessa, what do you want from me?
22:50I'm always ten steps ahead of me.
22:51Yeah.
22:51I know.
22:51You are.
22:52You're right.
22:52Like, you have to see that in yourself.
22:53No, I know that.
22:54You know what I mean?
22:55Because my mind is, like, constantly going.
22:56It is.
22:57But it's like, look, if you want somebody to, in their personality, be their personality, you have to take a
23:01step back sometimes.
23:02It goes, yeah, it goes both ways.
23:03I'm not saying it's just you.
23:04Like, there's me.
23:05Like, I'm, like, push, push, push.
23:08Right.
23:08And you're, like, ten steps behind and I'm ten steps forward.
23:12You know what I mean?
23:12Well, I've just given you the steps.
23:14Yeah, I know.
23:14I know.
23:15You know, but I do feel like, like, I want you to accept me for how I am and I
23:20want to accept you for how you are.
23:21So, it's like, we just have to, like, navigate through that.
23:26Right.
23:28So, hopefully we can figure this out.
23:30Yeah.
23:31So, what's next?
23:32Yeah.
23:32Yeah, what's next?
23:34I just asked you.
23:35You can't ask me that question though.
23:37No, I mean, it's like the question that's hanging in the air.
23:40Like, where do we go from here, you know?
23:42Right, what's next is we enjoy the night.
23:43Stop it.
23:45We have fun.
23:46Mm-hmm.
23:47And we light some candles.
23:48Okay.
23:50Okay.
24:10All right, what's on the happy hour menu.
24:13Great.
24:13Oh, wine flight.
24:19Zero appetite.
24:21Zero appetite.
24:22No.
24:26Here they are.
24:31Oh, my God.
24:33Hey, Mom.
24:36How are you?
24:37Good.
24:37How are you doing?
24:38Richard.
24:38John.
24:39John.
24:39Nice to meet you.
24:40Oh, my God.
24:45I can't believe you guys are all here.
24:47This is crazy.
24:48Were you not expecting, like, me to come?
24:50How are you guys?
24:51Oh, my God.
24:51How are you?
24:52Wow.
24:52I can't believe you guys are all here.
24:54Yeah.
24:55Cheers.
24:56Cheers.
24:56Nice to meet you.
24:57Yeah.
24:58Thanks for coming.
24:59Taking the flight.
25:00Very, very happy to.
25:02It's been fun.
25:03Your mom talks about all you guys all the time.
25:06Obsessively.
25:07And I'll say that she's very proud of you guys.
25:10Yeah.
25:11I'm happy you guys are here.
25:13Yeah.
25:13And I think she is, too.
25:15No, I'm not happy.
25:16Yeah.
25:17Yeah.
25:18Well, what made you want to take this journey?
25:23I guess getting out of Miami, Miami's very superficial, and not to talk down on it, but it's hard
25:29to make, like, a genuine connection.
25:32I came into this experience, like, super open-minded and ready for whatever came to me and connected
25:40fast.
25:41Yeah.
25:41For whatever reason, like, we gravitated towards each other from the very beginning, and
25:46it's just like our relationship has built more and more, and it's, you know, been very
25:51genuine.
25:52He's, like, a nice, safe dude, and it's been really great to get to know him.
25:59Are you guys living together right now, or?
26:02Yeah.
26:02Oh, you are.
26:03How's that?
26:04It's been good.
26:06He's being a very good boy.
26:08He's, like, picking up and, like, doing things.
26:11But, yeah, actually, like, probably the one thing that I would say that bothers me the
26:17most is that, like, a couple times we've been at, like, a restaurant, and you'll take,
26:21like, a paper napkin, and you'll just be like, toot.
26:24And I'm like, that's not where that goes.
26:27See, I'm learning something.
26:28Small things.
26:29Yeah.
26:29Small things.
26:30I feel like I do that.
26:30Like, I never want to say anything like that.
26:33What do you think about, like, having, like, her having, like, older kids, too?
26:38So, we'll, I don't know.
26:41We've talked about that, but.
26:43Yeah, like, when we revealed, like, our truths to each other, age, and obviously you guys were
26:50a huge part of that.
26:51Yeah, I was.
26:52Um, he was, like, whatever.
26:56Not, like, a passive, right?
26:58Just, like, who you are, who you are, and she shouldn't be, and she's not, by any means,
27:03but she shouldn't be ashamed of that.
27:05And you don't want to have kids, I'm assuming?
27:08I don't want kids, no.
27:10I've never seen that in my future.
27:14Yeah.
27:15Yeah.
27:16I felt comfortable giving her that answer, and that's how I honestly feel, so.
27:21That's fair.
27:22I mean, I will say the fact that we are all, like, older, though, too, it kind of, you don't
27:26have to deal with the BS of, like, I don't know, like, me going to college or, like,
27:30paying, I don't know.
27:31Yeah, yeah, yeah.
27:32Yeah, yeah, yeah.
27:32Like, the pressure of all that.
27:34Yeah, yeah, yeah.
27:34I mean, that's part of why I agreed to do this, was because I, you know.
27:39Now that we're all done, yeah.
27:41Well, it's not, yeah, I mean, it's not that you're done.
27:43Yeah, of course.
27:43Like, obviously, I'm always going to be your mom's and be supportive and everything,
27:47but it did come sort of at a strange time that this opportunity was, like, literally
27:54the day I left your graduation, right?
27:57Yeah, yeah, yeah.
27:57And I remember, like, leaving you guys that day and crying and being, like, what am I doing?
28:03What am I doing?
28:04Yeah, yeah.
28:04You know, like, because I was, like, having doubts about it, and leaving you guys was so
28:10hard.
28:11Yeah.
28:12But, you know.
28:14But, I mean, you've always tried to protect us and think about us first, but maybe you've
28:19been neglecting yourself.
28:20It's important to take care of yourself, too, and to do something that's for you and for
28:25your future.
28:25Yeah.
28:28Yeah.
28:32Yeah, I mean, that's what I said, you know, in this whole thing, was, like, I more or less,
28:38like, finished that chapter, making sure you guys were, like, sent off on, like, your
28:44best way possible.
28:46And so now it was, like, a time for me to find, you know, something that was good for
28:54me.
28:54Yeah.
28:54And, like...
28:56Your own happiness.
28:57Exactly.
28:58Yeah.
28:59Yeah.
29:00How would you envision your ideal future together?
29:03Like, um...
29:05Yeah, I don't...
29:06I mean, we don't know.
29:08Like, I'm not going to predict anything.
29:12I respected Lauren for caring about her mom and asking those hard questions.
29:18I think probably all three of the kids were interested in those answers.
29:22I know how important, like, family time is, so I'm going to head back to the apartment.
29:27Thanks again for coming.
29:28Hopefully we catch up soon.
29:30Yes.
29:30Good to meet you.
29:33Good to meet you.
29:34Very nice to meet you.
29:35Thanks again.
29:36Yeah.
29:37Do you know how you're doing?
29:38Yeah.
29:38Nice to meet you.
29:40Of course.
29:41Hopefully see you soon.
29:44I think today went great, but I saw Teresa kind of beat around the bush.
29:49I wish she was a little more confident and proud.
29:52Yeah, I think John and I are solid.
29:55I kind of wish she would have boasted about that a little more.
29:59And I think the kids would have probably fed off her energy, saying, like, oh, shit, my mom's, like, she's
30:05really sold on this guy, so.
30:07Yeah.
30:08I didn't love that lack of enthusiasm.
30:13Yeah.
30:13What do you think?
30:15You look really happy, and I'm so excited for you.
30:18Fine.
30:20Yeah.
30:20Do you see yourself, like, getting married?
30:23I don't know.
30:25Yeah.
30:25Can't answer that question.
30:26And, you know, you guys have seen me, like, hurt and destroyed and, you know, and I don't want you
30:35guys to see that again, so I'm being very careful.
30:39And, um, but I also want to take your feelings and consideration into my decision making.
30:48You know, I don't want anybody to be uncomfortable with any situation that I'm, like, in.
30:54So, you know, I want you guys to, at all times, feel like you can be, I'm not just saying
31:02this.
31:02Like, you can be up front with me and tell me, because you are, like, the most important things to
31:09me in my whole world.
31:12So can you tell us about his age?
31:16You know, I mean, I can, but I don't want to.
31:20Why?
31:21Because I really feel strongly that I want you to get to know him like I did.
31:26Yeah.
31:27You know, we formed a connection based on those deeper qualities and, like, the more meaningful things.
31:33And I want you guys to also have that opportunity.
31:39Yeah.
31:39But I just want that to come at a later stage.
31:43Yeah, I just want to make sure you're thinking realistically.
31:46Like, the age is going to make a big difference when you're out of this whole experience.
31:52No, I trust me.
31:53It's a huge thought.
32:00Not telling the age is definitely a little weird.
32:03I would say I think John is probably more around 35.
32:06If John were younger than about 30, it would definitely be more of, like, a surprise to me and definitely
32:12more of a weirder thing.
32:13It's just because, like, we're maybe even closer to age than she is, so that's definitely a little strange.
32:19He seems really into her, which I think that's a good sign that they have great chemistry.
32:25But I want to protect my mom, obviously, because she's been in hard relationships for the past 10 years.
32:32But I do think realistically, there's a lot of other things that come with the age difference.
32:38And I think time will tell if it really will be able to work out in the long run.
32:51How are you feeling, ma'am?
32:55Um...
32:56Talk to me.
32:57Honestly, pretty bad.
33:00Okay.
33:03I think...
33:06Maybe I've been a little bit...
33:10Overly optimistic about things.
33:14I guess.
33:16Okay.
33:17Um, okay, like, this whole time, I've been telling myself, I'm, like, I'm moving because
33:26I want to move, I'm moving because I don't want to be, which is true, I don't want to
33:30be in Seattle, I don't want to be there, but, like, I'm moving to basically be with you.
33:35Like, that is, that is the truth of the matter.
33:39Like, that's what I'm doing.
33:41Mm-hmm.
33:44And I have always told myself, I will, I will, I will not change my life for a man.
33:51Which, I think my big struggle right now is, like, am I betraying myself by giving up everything
34:01for a relationship?
34:04And I'm having a hard time with my own personal values.
34:11Okay.
34:13Um, I also think sometimes I just don't need to hear, like, oh, everything's going to be
34:20fine, because it's not helpful.
34:25Um, because it's, like, I'm, I'm, like, like, giving up everything.
34:34Which, like, and you're, it's not like you're not, but, like, I am.
34:42And it's, like, I don't, like, like, put yourself in that position.
34:49Like, I'm not only leaving everybody and everything I've worked for, but I'm also going against
34:58my own values to do that.
35:01Which is not to say that I'm not going to, or that it's not going to be worth it.
35:07But sitting here, now, I'm, like, what the fuck am I doing?
35:15What the fuck am I doing?
35:22Sorry, that's, like, not very positive or kind, but.
35:28No, it's real.
35:30I want you to be honest and real.
35:34I'm just, like, I'm just scared.
35:39I understand.
35:42I understand.
35:43I think that, um, uncertainty being scared, that's normal.
35:48And I know that that's extremely uncomfortable for you.
35:51And I know it's, like, well, Derek, that's easy for you to say because you're not the one
35:55making that sacrifice.
35:57I get, I get all of that.
35:59But there is not, like, some word or magic formula that I can say to just make all that
36:06go away.
36:07That's just going to be an element of it.
36:10But change is not that always.
36:13You know, change is just more of, like, evolving.
36:17And so still have your friends.
36:20You'll have me.
36:21You'll have your relationship.
36:22You'll have new friends.
36:23And you'll eventually, you know, whether you change a career 25 times, it doesn't matter.
36:28Like, you don't have to know all the answers right now.
36:30You don't have to move.
36:31Like, I don't, I don't, I don't want to stress personally, like, just being, like, selfish.
36:35I don't want to be stressed out.
36:37Like, oh, my God, if I have to stress about this, like, I need you to be in a peaceful
36:40state
36:41for us.
36:42Like, that's how we will flourish.
36:43Like, just being real.
36:57So you're saying, in order for this relationship to work, starting off, you need to be making
37:04this decision from a place of peace.
37:07Is that correct?
37:11Okay.
37:37Oh, this is beautiful.
37:43I'm so excited to see everyone.
37:53Look at this.
37:55You guys, like, you guys are glowing over here.
37:58Are you, buddy?
38:05Hey, guys.
38:07Hi, honey.
38:08I miss you so much.
38:10You look so beautiful.
38:14Hey, guys.
38:15What's up?
38:16How are you?
38:17What's up?
38:18Hi.
38:19What's up, buddy?
38:22Stop dancing in the matchup.
38:25Yeah, anything's happening on the city lights.
38:31Everybody looks amazing.
38:32You guys all look stunning.
38:34Can we toast everybody together?
38:36I think no matter what happens beyond this, we've all grown and we've all become better
38:40people.
38:41So, you know, one day at a time, let's just keep moving forward.
38:44Whether it's together or apart, I know that this has been a blessing.
38:47And I'm very appreciative.
38:48Together or apart?
38:48Dang!
38:49I agree.
38:50I love it.
38:50That was, like, popular and negative.
38:52Cheers, y'all.
38:53Cheers, y'all.
38:54Together or apart?
38:55Better or apart?
38:56Two together.
39:06Hey, how are y'all doing?
39:08We're great.
39:09How are you doing?
39:10We're great.
39:11We're not doing great.
39:11It's not about us.
39:12It's not?
39:13We're already in love.
39:14We're married.
39:14We have a baby.
39:15Okay.
39:16Okay.
39:17All the things.
39:17So, last time we saw you, we dropped a little surprise, letting you all know that your friends
39:22and family were on the way.
39:23So, no more surprise.
39:25That's more of a bomb, not a surprise.
39:28That was a bomb.
39:29Well, and just like that, this relationship wasn't just yours anymore.
39:33Yeah.
39:33To say the least.
39:35You had to open it up to opinions, to pressure, and to judgment.
39:39That's true.
39:40And it affected all of you in different ways.
39:43Teresa?
39:44I know when we kind of dropped that bomb, I couldn't help but notice some nervousness.
39:50I was horrified, scared, and I wasn't expecting it to happen the way it did.
39:56Obviously, your kids are older.
39:58They're, you know, I think.
39:59Well, I mean, I'm very protective of my kids.
40:01Okay.
40:02They're my kids.
40:03However, John was extremely poised and very articulate, and they asked him great,
40:10hard questions, and he answered them, you know, like a baller, and it was great.
40:16Was his age one of the questions that your kids asked?
40:19Well, I was like, yeah, no, no.
40:21Oh, you didn't tell?
40:22No, they don't know.
40:24Oh, so they never told me.
40:26And they won't know for a while until I decide.
40:31What's your reasoning for not telling your kids his age?
40:35Because there is a gigantic double standard.
40:39If he was my age and I was his age, it would be such a lesser of a problem.
40:44And so I'm going into this as, you know, really in a difficult position because there will be
40:51a lot of judgment, not on only me, but my kids probably, their friends, our community, all of
40:56that.
40:57And if we're being real, like, and we want to say, like, age doesn't matter, then why should
41:02I have to reveal it right now?
41:04Why shouldn't I be able to let them get to know him before I say, you know, by the way,
41:12he's, like, in your age range?
41:14Like, that's going to be awkward.
41:17Leah, you've been pretty expressive over there.
41:20Because the whole point of this journey is to let everyone's family know how old were
41:26the people that were dating.
41:27That's the whole point of it.
41:28So I didn't know that there was a choice.
41:29I mean, it doesn't have to happen when somebody else tells me it has to happen.
41:34But it's going to happen regardless.
41:35Yeah, of course.
41:37Why hide it now?
41:39Like, he's 27.
41:41I'm not hiding it.
41:42I'm trying to be strategic in letting my kids get to know him as I did.
41:48They will find out when they find out.
41:51And it's nobody's choice or decision to do that except for he and I.
41:56I just thought, like, we had to divulge it at the end of the day.
41:59You know, I thought that was the whole goal.
42:00It was, like, we're not ashamed of it.
42:02I'm not ashamed of how old he is.
42:03I'm not ashamed of it.
42:05Yeah.
42:06I just need some water.
42:07It's really none of your business.
42:08It's not my business.
42:09It's just, it's not my business.
42:10It's going to come out one way or another.
42:11It's none of your business.
42:12Yeah.
42:13Like, so then...
42:13I understand.
42:16No, I'm still going to have a voice.
42:18But it's just, I understand that you're coming from a different...
42:20Well, you can have your voice that goes in your head, not verbally.
42:22No, it's the voice that's going to be said.
42:24Well, I don't need to hear it.
42:26Oh, I'm sorry.
42:26It just got said.
42:29All I can say is don't fucking come for me, because I will...
42:37All right, let's stay respectful, guys.
42:39We're good.
42:44I think for clarity, friends and family were coming to meet the person that you committed
42:50to, and how many of those details you include is up to you.
43:04You shared space, you shared lives, you faced judgment, and you found ways to stay connected.
43:13But now, it's decision time.
43:18Tonight is your last night together.
43:22Tomorrow morning, you will wake up next to the person you've lived a life with here.
43:27But then, you have to say goodbye.
43:30Because from that moment on, you will be on your own.
43:34No more shared space.
43:36No more comfort in each other's presence.
43:39Just time to sit with your heart, your doubts, and your decision.
43:49The next time you see each other, it will be to speak your truth.
43:53And to decide, do we move forward together, or do we walk away?
43:59Each of you will make one final journey to a mountaintop overlooking a place where it all began.
44:06Up there, you'll stand face to face and ask,
44:10do you keep those promise rings and commit to taking this leap together?
44:15Or do you take them off and choose a different path, alone?
44:31You've all got a lot to think about.
44:37It's just not fair.
44:49You're 22.
44:51I'm 38.
44:53That's a big gap.
44:56The truth is, no matter how much I doubt the age gap, I don't doubt the way I feel when
45:04I'm with you.
45:06If we were to stay together, I may regret it for the rest of my life.
45:12I always protect you, and I always protect your hearts.
45:16I truly love you.
45:20It's a huge commitment to say that this person who's 27 years younger than me is my boyfriend.
45:28I need you to believe that age is just a number, but also believe in me that every day I'm
45:35going to show up and work on this together.
45:37I love you.
45:40I can't see myself growing with you.
45:43You lit something inside of me that I thought was gone.
45:47I think we've both made a decision that will impact our lives and our families, and I just hope and
45:52pray that it's the right one.
45:54He's like in the prime of his life right now, honestly.
45:58And why would he give that up for someone 20 years older than him?
46:02This is a party for a couple.
46:04I hate the promise.
46:06I hate the promise to bring back.
46:08So I stare to the sun up.
46:13I'm waiting for a sign.
46:16Do I cross your mind?
46:19Don't wanna find another.
46:24Trying to forget.
46:26But if I let go, will I see you again?
46:32Can we go back in time?
46:37Would it be such a crime?
46:42To look at this as a sign.
46:47Trying again.
46:50One more time.
46:53So I stare up.
46:56Till the sun up.
46:59I'm waiting for a sign.
47:01If I let go, will I see you again?
47:37Bye.
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