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  • 2 months ago
It’s the late-90’s in Northern California and 13-year-old Pakistani-American Ilyas is facing a major crisis — his parents yanked him out of his comfortable Islamic private school and now he has to face life at public school. Ilyas’ fears about joining public school are made worse by insecurities due to his inescapable, prepubescent MUSTACHE. Ilyas hatches a hilarious plan to return to his old school — but he must also learn to accept himself.
Transcript
00:06a boy reaches the age of accountability when he has something called a wet dream
00:11which is a dream about water i've had a lot of wet dreams
00:14all right that was very personal
00:20my mustache started growing when i was 10 years old
00:23it's a problem i'm not supposed to shave it don't iliaz it will only grow back more
00:29at some point i realized that i exist within a complex lattice of rules that govern my entire life
00:34are you crying
00:42you are going to miller high school just you know you gotta go something on your level
00:46i want to go back to cordoba there must be something i can do
00:49yes do you want to be friends
00:53iliaz is not like asim
00:54what if miller high turned me into a bad muslim
00:56would they be forced to send me back
01:00will you help corrupt me
01:02sure
01:04what if public school is a huge mistake
01:08drugs
01:08trust me this is exactly what they use in movies as marijuana
01:12alcohol
01:14oh shoot
01:15girlfriends
01:16do you have a pen
01:19thanks
01:22are people mean to you there
01:24it's not my fault
01:25whose fault is it iliaz
01:28don't stop creating
01:29even if it's just to figure yourself out
01:31lately i've been imagining myself going somewhere where i can finally be alone
01:34no one would ever have to see me or my upper lip ever again
01:38oh my god you're so dramatic
01:42ilyas
01:42ilyas
01:43ilyas
01:45ilyas
01:46that was uh we have to invest in the youth
01:48okay
01:51did you just buy a big mac then cook your own halal burger to trick us all into thinking
01:56you're eating an actual big mac
01:58i'm loving this
01:59i learned this at public school
02:01you
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