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Short filmTranscript
00:00:04So I'm fighting the space shuttle for the second time, and this guy passes out.
00:00:08Alright, it's about that time.
00:00:10So, are you kissing anybody at midnight?
00:00:19Yeah, him.
00:00:21Hi!
00:00:22Just play along.
00:00:24Six, five, four, three, two, one!
00:00:30Hey!
00:00:52You have a cute scar.
00:00:55It's just my birthmark.
00:00:57If you want me to stop, tell me now.
00:01:02I don't want you to stop.
00:01:03Yes.
00:01:05You have a nice camera.
00:01:07Yes.
00:01:14No.
00:01:17No.
00:01:20No.
00:01:22No.
00:01:25No.
00:01:25No.
00:01:25No.
00:01:26No.
00:01:28No.
00:01:35I was so drunk last night.
00:01:37I can't remember who I was with.
00:01:42I must return this to her so I can see her again.
00:01:50Happy New Year.
00:01:51Sam, it's me.
00:01:52Hey, find me the girl from last night.
00:01:55I don't care how.
00:01:56Just do it.
00:01:57I will find you.
00:02:04Maximus, can't you get married already?
00:02:07Bring home a wife or at least a girlfriend.
00:02:10I need grandkids.
00:02:12I need you to...
00:02:12Message received, Mom.
00:02:14I need to go now.
00:02:15I have to inspect the new headquarters.
00:02:25Seven years.
00:02:27Why can't I ever find you?
00:02:29And why do you still haunt me?
00:02:38Still thinking about that girl?
00:02:40Boss, it's been years.
00:02:45I'm ready to go to the inspection now.
00:02:47Your vest, sir.
00:02:49But first, we found your fake Christmas wife.
00:02:51She's waiting in the coffee shop.
00:02:53Blonde hair, red top.
00:02:54And, sir, make sure you use an alias.
00:02:57We can't have her know you the Harrison Group CEO
00:02:59or she'll jack up the price.
00:03:01Good.
00:03:02Finally, I can get my mother off my back.
00:03:09I can't wait to finally meet my new daddy.
00:03:15Now, Auntie Deborah and Pamela can't say I have no daddy anymore.
00:03:21Sweetie, remember, it's just pretend.
00:03:23It's just for Christmas.
00:03:24But, Mommy, why do we have to rent, Daddy?
00:03:27Where's my real one?
00:03:35I'll tell you when you're older.
00:03:37Sweetie, why don't you go find us a table?
00:03:47Daddy!
00:03:48Yo!
00:03:49What?
00:03:55Daddy!
00:03:56Oh, I'm sorry.
00:03:59I'm not your dad.
00:04:00No, I know you're my daddy.
00:04:02Just as handsome as I have to.
00:04:04Oh.
00:04:05Mommy, hurry.
00:04:06Your fake Christmas husband has arrived.
00:04:15I asked the agency for an average-looking guy.
00:04:19He's gorgeous.
00:04:26Why does she feel so familiar?
00:04:27Why does she feel so familiar here?
00:04:29She's waiting in the coffee shop.
00:04:31Blonde hair, red top.
00:04:32You must be my new Christmas husband.
00:04:35So, you're my new Christmas wife.
00:04:37See, I knew you were the new daddy we hired, right?
00:04:40Hi, my name's Hyper.
00:04:41What's your name?
00:04:43Sam didn't say anything about a kid.
00:04:46Max, Aurelius.
00:04:47Eva.
00:04:48I think we should probably sit and discuss the details of this fake marriage.
00:04:53I just need a wife for the holidays.
00:04:55I guess mom gets her grandkid, too.
00:04:59So, per our agreement, the rate is $1,000 per hour, and...
00:05:05$1,000 an hour?
00:05:06Well, yeah.
00:05:08It's $500 a day.
00:05:10Is that enough?
00:05:11That's the most that I can pay you.
00:05:13Wait, you're paying me $500 a day?
00:05:15That's what I agreed with the agency.
00:05:17You'll make your thousands over the week.
00:05:19Look, my requirements are simple, okay?
00:05:21Play my pretend husband, come with me to my hometown,
00:05:24and we all pretend to be one big happy family.
00:05:26And then my family will get off my back,
00:05:28so Piper can have a good Christmas for once.
00:05:33So she's getting pressure from her folks, too.
00:05:36Fine.
00:05:37But you have to help me get my mom off my case, too.
00:05:42Okay.
00:05:42Deal.
00:05:46Ready to go get married?
00:06:00Wow.
00:06:01Clean up nice.
00:06:03It was my wedding day, after all.
00:06:05Pictures.
00:06:09Don't look.
00:06:14Y'all guys are supposed to look like you're in love.
00:06:36I think we got it.
00:06:41Oh, I need some photos of us together, too.
00:06:45To prove to my parents that I'm actually married
00:06:47and have a happy family.
00:06:49Yeah.
00:06:50Of course.
00:07:00Happy holidays, Mom.
00:07:02From my family to you.
00:07:12Bad news, boss.
00:07:13The agency said that the girl that they recruited
00:07:15to be your fake wife bailed last minute.
00:07:17Wait, she bailed?
00:07:19Then who is...
00:07:23Who is she?
00:07:24Whatever.
00:07:26It doesn't matter.
00:07:27I've got what I need.
00:07:31Sam, don't worry about it.
00:07:32I already found someone.
00:07:39Okay.
00:07:39Well, I think it's time for us to go.
00:07:42Christmas shopping waits for no one.
00:07:44Christmas shopping?
00:07:45I should come.
00:07:47Look, if you want me to be the husband
00:07:49in this fake-it-to-your-family plan,
00:07:51I think I should have some say in the gifts.
00:07:53It'll make it more believable.
00:07:58Fine.
00:07:59Yeah, fine.
00:07:59Okay.
00:08:00You can come.
00:08:08Let's go.
00:08:09Which mall are we going to?
00:08:11Um, let's go to that one.
00:08:13No, let's go to the bank.
00:08:19What the actual fuck?
00:08:25Sam,
00:08:26is Maximus pulling another one
00:08:28one of his goddamn elaborate pranks again?
00:08:30Get me a DNA test
00:08:32for that little girl that he's with.
00:08:36She does kind of look like him.
00:08:41So when we give these gifts to my parents,
00:08:44we will say they're from you.
00:08:46Here, let me get this.
00:08:49I'm going to love you, Max.
00:08:52Oh, so I was, uh, thinking that since we're married,
00:08:57we should probably kiss once or twice
00:09:01in front of them.
00:09:04Okay.
00:09:04Should we use our tongues, or?
00:09:07No, no, definitely not.
00:09:08And absolutely no.
00:09:10Sex?
00:09:11Yes.
00:09:12It's strictly business.
00:09:15Anything physical outside of that
00:09:16does not have any.
00:09:18What?
00:09:19Afraid you'll fall for me?
00:09:22I just don't want Piper
00:09:23to have messy complications
00:09:25getting in the way
00:09:26of her having a good Christmas.
00:09:28Let's go.
00:09:35Here.
00:09:36What are you doing?
00:09:37I'd never let my woman pick up the tab.
00:09:41Well, I'm not your woman,
00:09:42and this isn't a real relationship,
00:09:44and I don't want your money.
00:09:48Attention shoppers,
00:09:49all bakery items are now 50% off.
00:09:5150% off pies?
00:09:52Quick, go grab a dozen pumpkin pies.
00:09:5412 pumpkin pies.
00:09:55Did I hear this right?
00:09:56They're the best kind.
00:09:57Hurry up and go.
00:09:58Go.
00:09:58What are you standing here for?
00:10:02Hello there.
00:10:03Hi.
00:10:03You ready?
00:10:03Yes, yeah, just these things.
00:10:05Okay, great.
00:10:06We have a holiday special today.
00:10:08Spend $500,
00:10:10get 10% off,
00:10:11and you are just short
00:10:12$15 if you want to
00:10:13take advantage of the deal.
00:10:14Oh, great.
00:10:15Yeah, what do you have
00:10:16that's just $15?
00:10:17Will you get a move on?
00:10:20I just got here.
00:10:22Relax.
00:10:23Yeah, yeah.
00:10:26Here, this will do the trick.
00:10:28Okay, thank you.
00:10:30Hurry up and pay.
00:10:34I will pay when I'm ready.
00:10:36You can wait your turn.
00:10:42Damn, my fake wife has some fire in her.
00:10:50Oh, wait, wait, wait.
00:10:51Not the pies.
00:10:51Not the pies.
00:10:52We can just set those on top.
00:10:58Hi, guys.
00:11:00I'm going to hand you all these pies.
00:11:06Of quarters.
00:11:08Thank you so much.
00:11:09Of course.
00:11:10I hope you like pumpkin.
00:11:12She bought all 12 pies.
00:11:14Don't worry, I have enough for everybody.
00:11:15Just to give it away.
00:11:18Merry Christmas.
00:11:19Hi.
00:11:20Merry Christmas.
00:11:25What?
00:11:26You do that often?
00:11:28As often as I can.
00:11:33We should go.
00:11:34We got to pick up paper.
00:11:39Watch out.
00:11:58You done feeling me up?
00:12:01Shut up.
00:12:02Oh, sorry.
00:12:02I was just in character, wifey.
00:12:04Well, stay out of character until Christmas.
00:12:11And don't be late.
00:12:24Harrison Group?
00:12:26Do you do construction for them or something?
00:12:28Sort of.
00:12:30Not that I'm judging.
00:12:31I just need to get my story straight or my mom will eat both of us alive.
00:12:36Why don't we say that you do mid-level management for Harrison Group?
00:12:39I think that's respectable.
00:12:42Can we pick another company?
00:12:44No.
00:12:45Harrison Group is perfect.
00:12:46And they'll find it impressive.
00:12:48My cousin's husband works for them, too.
00:12:49So, it's perfect.
00:12:55Oh, and wear something nice for Christmas dinner?
00:12:58Don't worry.
00:12:59Okay, I clean up nicely.
00:13:01I wouldn't embarrass you.
00:13:04Too much.
00:13:26Let's go, Sam.
00:13:27It's time to check out the new HQ site.
00:13:29Hold on.
00:13:30You're covered in water, and you have a hair on your shoulder, and it's not yours.
00:13:34It's my daughter's.
00:13:37Daughter's?
00:13:38Give me a DNA test for that little girl that he's with.
00:13:55Hey, there they are!
00:13:57Hey!
00:13:58Nice to meet you!
00:14:00Aw, dad.
00:14:01So glad you made it.
00:14:03Aw, I missed you.
00:14:04So, where's this mysterious husband we heard all about?
00:14:09He's coming.
00:14:10Please don't tell me Maximus bailed.
00:14:12Good, good, good.
00:14:14So, heard you got a new hubby, sweetie.
00:14:18When's he arriving?
00:14:19Oh, it's probably just some story she cooked up to stop people talking.
00:14:24Poor thing.
00:14:25Not surprising.
00:14:26I mean, she's 30.
00:14:27Once a woman hits that age, you become undateable.
00:14:31Oh, plus a kid looks so bad on dating apps.
00:14:37This is exactly why I refuse to come home single this Christmas.
00:14:40Auntie Pamela, Debbie, my dating life, quite frankly, is none of your concern.
00:14:46We're only worried about you.
00:14:48All these years without a husband.
00:14:50Zip it, Pamela.
00:14:52You know, you always spoiled her rotten.
00:14:55And look what happened.
00:14:56She got knocked up out of wedlock, raising a kid all alone.
00:15:00I'm not alone.
00:15:01Mm-hmm.
00:15:03And what does this mysterious husband do?
00:15:08He's a manager.
00:15:10Manager?
00:15:11Of what?
00:15:12Trash.
00:15:14Probably a cover for criminal activity.
00:15:18You don't have to lie to us, Eva.
00:15:21Actually, he's right here.
00:15:27Oh, wow.
00:15:30He is really good-looking.
00:15:33Oh, must be AI.
00:15:35Mm-hmm.
00:15:36Congratulations, Eva, on your Photoshop skills.
00:15:39Fake.
00:15:39That's enough.
00:15:40She's our daughter and your niece.
00:15:43Show some respect.
00:15:44Remember last year when I introduced you to my husband's nephew, William, and you turned
00:15:50him down?
00:15:51Well, guess what?
00:15:53William works for the Harrison Group now.
00:15:55Makes 500 grand a year.
00:15:58That's half a million.
00:16:00Half a million.
00:16:02Girls are lining up for him all the way to New York.
00:16:05And speak of the devil.
00:16:10Willie, you made it.
00:16:22There you are.
00:16:24Oh, look at you now.
00:16:27Living the dream.
00:16:28Oh, just think, Eva.
00:16:30Well, you could be driving around in a car like that had you not married that criminal waste
00:16:35manager.
00:16:36So married, huh?
00:16:38Is it serious?
00:16:41That's what marriage is.
00:16:42It's pretty serious.
00:16:44Wow.
00:16:45You must have rushed to tie the knot, huh?
00:16:47Makes sense, though.
00:16:49You not being a hot, young thing anymore.
00:16:52Dragging that kid around with no daddy.
00:16:54Yeah, a bullet dodged, Willie.
00:16:57Meanwhile, you're climbing the Harrison Group ladder.
00:17:00That's right.
00:17:02Just bought this brand new suit with my Christmas bonus.
00:17:06Women love a man in red.
00:17:08Sexy, like Santa Claus.
00:17:11Want to sit on my lap?
00:17:13Don't touch me.
00:17:14Oh, so entitled.
00:17:17Williams, a successful man of taste, not waste.
00:17:20And yet, for some reason, he's willing to overlook your baggage.
00:17:25I mean, look at that car.
00:17:26Could your husband afford anything even close to that?
00:17:30Think of the life I can give you and Piper with all my Harrison Group money.
00:17:34Ditch your nobody husband and marry me instead.
00:17:38I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man on Earth.
00:17:46My mom would never marry.
00:17:47She already has a husband.
00:17:48He's going to kick your butt.
00:17:54Is that so?
00:17:55Well, then, where is he?
00:17:57Because I don't see him.
00:17:59Does anyone see him?
00:18:03Now, just like I thought, telling lies just like Mommy.
00:18:08That puts you on the naughty list.
00:18:11And let me show you what happens to naughty children.
00:18:17Hey.
00:18:17Mommy.
00:18:18Hi.
00:18:19Are you okay?
00:18:20I see your hands.
00:18:21Oh, my God.
00:18:22I'm going to take her in and get her packed stuff, okay?
00:18:24Come on, now.
00:18:25Let's go.
00:18:27What the hell's the matter with you?
00:18:30How dare you put your filthy hands on my daughter?
00:18:34Let me go.
00:18:35Now, why would I go and do a thing like that when I'm having such a good time?
00:18:40Let me go!
00:18:55Touch my wife again, and I will snap every finger that you've got.
00:19:02Max, you came.
00:19:04Don't worry, sweetie.
00:19:08Where's Piper?
00:19:09William Hitter?
00:19:11Mom, Deadhub, take her inside.
00:19:13Well, it looks like we have a real Grinch to dispose of.
00:19:16Well, well, well.
00:19:17If it isn't the Waste Manager I've been hearing so much about.
00:19:21That's right.
00:19:23Now, I'm about to take out the trash.
00:19:27Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
00:19:29It's an honor to meet you.
00:19:31I'm Max.
00:19:32Eva told us all about you.
00:19:34From New York.
00:19:35Polite.
00:19:35Handsome.
00:19:36Just like she said.
00:19:38Wow.
00:19:40He was an AI.
00:19:41See?
00:19:42He's real.
00:19:43And he's more of a man here than William would ever dream to be.
00:19:47Son of a bitch!
00:19:48You just ruined my suit!
00:19:50And watch the way that you drive that...
00:19:51That pristine automobile.
00:19:54That car?
00:19:55Oh, my God.
00:19:56That's worth more than a house!
00:19:59That car?
00:20:00It was all over the news when the CEO of the Harrison Group bought it.
00:20:04Wait.
00:20:06Are you?
00:20:11Like I said, I'm just Eva's husband.
00:20:14And that's all he needs to know.
00:20:16I'm not here to put on a show for anyone.
00:20:18You really are a criminal, aren't you?
00:20:20You stole it!
00:20:21That car belongs to the CEO of my company!
00:20:23Jesus!
00:20:24How did he get away with it?
00:20:26That's what I want to know.
00:20:28Enough!
00:20:29Please!
00:20:31I trust my daughter.
00:20:33She would never marry a criminal.
00:20:36Max, be honest with me.
00:20:39Where did that car come from?
00:20:41How much did you want for it?
00:20:43I'll pay you more money than you'd make in three lifetimes.
00:20:47Sir?
00:20:48You need a breath mint.
00:20:52All right, that's it!
00:20:53I'm calling the cops!
00:20:53Oh, way ahead of you.
00:20:56Wait.
00:20:56What?
00:20:58Are you feeling nervous, Eva?
00:21:01Oh, well.
00:21:02Too late.
00:21:08Listen, hon.
00:21:10I believe you.
00:21:11But how could Max afford a car like that?
00:21:15Mr. Smith, don't worry.
00:21:17It's my car.
00:21:18Okay?
00:21:18It's not stolen.
00:21:19Yeah?
00:21:20If it's yours, then prove it.
00:21:23Cops will be here in 15 minutes.
00:21:26Enjoy Christmas behind bars.
00:21:27Okay.
00:21:28I'll prove that it's mine.
00:21:29But then you have to get lost.
00:21:31And never show your face around my wife or child again.
00:21:34Oh, so you're a tough guy, huh?
00:21:37Well, I hope they serve eggnog in prison.
00:21:39Loser!
00:21:40Say one more word, and I'll give him a real reason to take me in.
00:21:44Jesus.
00:21:46Maybe he is a crime boss.
00:21:47It's kind of sexy, though.
00:21:52Here.
00:21:52Title and proof of ownership.
00:22:01Mr. Harrison?
00:22:06Mr. Harrison?
00:22:09Mr. Harrison?
00:22:11Just play alone.
00:22:13Merry Christmas, Willie.
00:22:15Now get the fuck out of here before I kick your ass all the way up to the North Pole.
00:22:19Yes, sir!
00:22:20I'm so sorry, sir!
00:22:22Please, take my serious apologies.
00:22:35Oh, that William.
00:22:37What a jerk, huh?
00:22:39He fooled me.
00:22:40What can I say?
00:22:41Let's not let this little misunderstanding ruin the holidays.
00:22:45Oh, now you don't want to ruin Christmas?
00:22:47Oh, come on, Eva.
00:22:48We were just looking out for you.
00:22:50Please forgive us, Mr. Harrison.
00:22:53You know my youngest son is graduating.
00:22:55Soon.
00:22:55Do you think that you could help him get his foot in the door?
00:22:59A job at the Harrison Group, even in the mailroom, would open doors.
00:23:04We are family, aren't we?
00:23:06Family takes care of each other.
00:23:09If you guys want a job at the Harrison Group, you can put in an application like everyone else.
00:23:13Abigail, come on.
00:23:14Talk to her for us.
00:23:17Didn't you just say that my daughter was undateable?
00:23:20Yeah.
00:23:20I think you need to take care of your own issues first.
00:23:23My daughter is just far too busy for your best life for my new son-in-law.
00:23:29Come on, guys.
00:23:30Let's go in.
00:23:30Welcome to the family.
00:23:35Welcome.
00:23:36Come on in.
00:23:36Come on in.
00:23:40This is your fault, Pam.
00:23:42You can't tell the difference between AI and reality.
00:23:46My fault.
00:23:47You were the one who was pushing her onto that worm, William.
00:23:51William.
00:23:51Oh.
00:23:59Hey, how do you have that car?
00:24:01And how do you know the CEO of Harrison Group?
00:24:04And how do you...
00:24:04I told you.
00:24:05I work for Harrison Group, remember?
00:24:07I have a friend in high places.
00:24:09A friend who just hands you keys to million-dollar, one-of-a-kind luxury cars?
00:24:14Yes.
00:24:15It's the season of giving.
00:24:17He knows people.
00:24:18Has connections.
00:24:20He's a big deal kind of guy.
00:24:22You're a crime boss, aren't you?
00:24:24And you best not forget it, capisce?
00:24:26Oh, my God.
00:24:27Just don't blow your cover.
00:24:30Dad!
00:24:30Mom!
00:24:31Thank you so much for letting Max and I stay in your home.
00:24:34Oh, honey.
00:24:35We're just so happy that you found such a handsome, strong, good-looking...
00:24:42I think they get it, hon.
00:24:46How's Piper?
00:24:47Oh, she's fine.
00:24:48One of you guys just gets settled in and we will go check on her.
00:24:52And after your mom takes a cold shower, we'll come back and finish decorating the tree.
00:24:56Great.
00:24:58See you in a bit.
00:24:59Joey?
00:24:59What are you doing?
00:25:02Okay.
00:25:04Hey, was that not a breach of contract?
00:25:10Relax.
00:25:10It was just a hug.
00:25:13Ugh.
00:25:15We just got here and I'm already exhausted.
00:25:17You'll be okay.
00:25:19It's just one week.
00:25:20Kill me now.
00:25:21Well, they would, but I need to get paid.
00:25:28What are you doing?
00:25:30That's weird.
00:25:32They were so lovey-dovey just a second ago.
00:25:34I don't know.
00:25:35Something just feels off.
00:25:37That's ridiculous.
00:25:39I mean, what do you want them to do?
00:25:40Make them a promise to prove it?
00:25:42I don't like this.
00:25:45Later.
00:25:48Let's go.
00:25:52Here we go.
00:25:54Piper is all tucked in, honey.
00:25:57Everything looks amazing and happy holidays.
00:25:59To the newest member of our family, Max.
00:26:02Aw.
00:26:04Welcome.
00:26:05Cheers.
00:26:05Thank you, Miss Smith.
00:26:07Looks great.
00:26:08Oh, just call me mom, honey.
00:26:10I had no idea what you liked, so I just whipped up a little bit of everything.
00:26:14But we all know what Eva's favorite Christmas dish is, right?
00:26:19Oh, no.
00:26:20Mom's testing him.
00:26:21She's trying to see if he's legit.
00:26:23You mean to tell me you two are married and you don't even know my baby girl's favorite food?
00:26:29Ow.
00:26:30Eva, sweetie.
00:26:32Kicking my foot.
00:26:33Oh, sorry, mom.
00:26:35Oh, jeez.
00:26:37Oh, jeez.
00:26:38It's okay.
00:26:39Look, mom, of course he knows it's...
00:26:41I would like to hear Max say it.
00:26:51Um...
00:26:56Twelve pumpkin pies.
00:26:57Did I hear this right?
00:26:58They're the best kind.
00:27:00Well, of course.
00:27:02It's pumpkin pie.
00:27:04See?
00:27:05Are you happy now?
00:27:06That's good, but something still falls off.
00:27:09Mom, don't make it weird, okay?
00:27:12We had a whirlwind romance and we eloped before we got to know everything about each other.
00:27:18But our marriage is real.
00:27:19I guess your mom's just watching too many of those real short shows.
00:27:23Ah, now those are quality.
00:27:27Okay, well, then answer this.
00:27:30Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:27:33Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:27:37I knew it was a good idea to pick this up.
00:27:40Well, um, it's...
00:27:43Silly face.
00:27:44Dropped it outside on the sidewalk.
00:27:46Luckily, I was there to pick it up for her.
00:27:49Silly face.
00:27:51I am not paying extra for this.
00:27:53Consider it a Christmas gift.
00:27:56Those are blousers.
00:27:57That's nice.
00:27:59You can afford this on a waste manager's salary?
00:28:02Well, believe it or not, Miss Smith, there is a lot of garbage out there.
00:28:05And I'm not just talking about William.
00:28:08I'll drink to that.
00:28:09I agree with you there.
00:28:11So, come on, guys.
00:28:12Let's eat.
00:28:13Come here.
00:28:26And this is where y'all will be staying.
00:28:29I have another room set up for Piper.
00:28:32Nice and festive for you.
00:28:34No complications, right?
00:28:36Sorry, honey?
00:28:37Uh, mom, you know what?
00:28:38I should stay with Piper tonight.
00:28:40Oh, honey.
00:28:41Newlyweds shouldn't sleep apart.
00:28:45Oh, I just remembered.
00:28:46The city's turning the water off at 10.
00:28:48Something about water conservation.
00:28:51That means you have 15 minutes to shower.
00:28:5315 minutes?
00:28:54Oh.
00:28:55Honey, it's no big deal.
00:28:56Just shower together.
00:28:59Shower together?
00:29:02Just shower together.
00:29:04Okay, you guys.
00:29:05Have a good night, okay?
00:29:10You heard her.
00:29:32Oh, wow.
00:29:33Why are you stripping?
00:29:35Well, I can't take a shower with my clothes on.
00:29:38Come on, we're wasting time.
00:29:39You have 15 minutes.
00:29:40Nice try.
00:29:41I am not showering with you.
00:29:43All right, suit yourself.
00:29:45All right, let's get in there.
00:29:46Not if I meet you there first.
00:30:04Come on, Max.
00:30:06Get out of the way.
00:30:08We agreed, nothing physical.
00:30:09You're the one with the dirty thoughts, wifey.
00:30:12Relax.
00:30:12I won't touch you.
00:30:14Unless you say you want me to.
00:30:18But that'll cost extra.
00:30:29And your dreams.
00:30:32Free to join me.
00:30:52You know, if you keep staring at my ass, you're not going to have me shower while you're left.
00:30:55You wish.
00:30:57Why aren't you getting in?
00:30:58Pray you'll fall for me?
00:31:01It's you who has to worry about resisting me.
00:31:03Oh, yeah?
00:31:05True.
00:31:17Holy shit.
00:31:21I don't know.
00:31:22This is...
00:31:23This is more than the heart of my thought.
00:31:26I'll say.
00:31:27What happened to all that cool guy confidence?
00:31:30Still think you can resist?
00:31:33Oh, baby.
00:31:35I don't think I want you.
00:31:41I should have.
00:31:45Or maybe we should.
00:31:48God, he's such a good kisser.
00:31:49Why does this feel so familiar?
00:31:58Mom, we're so sexy.
00:32:09Max, we cannot do this.
00:32:11What?
00:32:12I didn't mean to cross any...
00:32:14It's not you, Max.
00:32:15It's us.
00:32:16It's this.
00:32:16This is all an act.
00:32:18Let's not make it more complicated than it is.
00:32:20You're right.
00:32:23I'm sorry.
00:32:24I just don't need to be sorry.
00:32:30Just...
00:32:34That birthmark.
00:32:40What is that?
00:32:43It's him.
00:32:43The man from New Year's.
00:32:45Is he...
00:32:46Piper's father?
00:32:50Why are you acting?
00:32:53Oh, my God.
00:32:55Max is Piper's father.
00:32:57Are you okay?
00:32:59Yeah.
00:33:00I just...
00:33:01I just got lightheaded.
00:33:03I think I just need a few more minutes.
00:33:05Alone.
00:33:07Of course.
00:33:11We have a daughter together.
00:33:13Oh, my God.
00:33:14What do I do?
00:33:21I'm going to sleep on the floor.
00:33:23You can take the bed.
00:33:25Thanks.
00:33:28Hey.
00:33:29Are you sure you're okay?
00:33:31Look, fake marriage aside,
00:33:33I'm your husband for the next few days.
00:33:35So if there's something you need, I can help.
00:33:38I want to help.
00:33:40He's Piper's father.
00:33:41He has a right to know.
00:33:44Um, Max.
00:33:46How would you feel if you found out you had a kid?
00:33:52A child?
00:33:54No, no, no.
00:33:56That's impossible.
00:33:57I'm very careful.
00:34:00Mostly.
00:34:02I just mean I'm not the type of guy to sleep around.
00:34:05Family to me is a big commitment,
00:34:07and I don't want any loose ends, you know?
00:34:11Right.
00:34:13He wouldn't want a kid tying him down.
00:34:14I shouldn't tell him about Piper.
00:34:17Why do you ask?
00:34:19No reason.
00:34:20Just curious.
00:34:22No, I feel like you're going somewhere with this.
00:34:26What?
00:34:28No.
00:34:29Well, then, can I ask you a question?
00:34:32Shoot.
00:34:37Where did you get these?
00:34:39And how did you know my exact size?
00:34:42I did not get those.
00:34:44I don't know where those came from.
00:34:45Are you sure you're just not trying to break the contract?
00:34:50Give me that.
00:34:51Give me the.
00:34:53Give me those.
00:34:54Woo!
00:35:06Evan, the truth is, is that I.
00:35:11Go, go, go, go, go.
00:35:13Just a second.
00:35:15Come in.
00:35:16Hey, hon.
00:35:18Oh, sorry for interrupting,
00:35:20but Piper is asking for a bedtime story before I tuck around.
00:35:24Think you can take this one, Dad?
00:35:25We're kind of in the middle of something.
00:35:28I can see that.
00:35:30Well, why don't I read it to her?
00:35:32I mean, if you don't, if you don't mind.
00:35:34Well, that a boy.
00:35:36You know what?
00:35:36Just put a shirt on.
00:35:37I'm going to go get her.
00:35:39Piper!
00:35:40Here comes Grandpa!
00:35:44He sprang to his sleigh,
00:35:45to his team gave a whistle,
00:35:47and away they all flew,
00:35:49like the down of a thistle.
00:35:51But I heard him exclaim,
00:35:52as he drove out of sight,
00:35:55Merry Christmas to all,
00:35:57and to all,
00:35:58a good night.
00:36:02If Piper knew he was her real dad,
00:36:04she'd be over the moon.
00:36:06Good night, Piper.
00:36:11Is her dad still around?
00:36:13Yeah, but he doesn't know it,
00:36:15because you are her dad.
00:36:17Uh, no.
00:36:19That man has no idea
00:36:21what a treasure
00:36:23he's missing out on.
00:36:27Do you really think so?
00:36:29From the bottom of my heart.
00:36:31Maybe I should tell him.
00:36:33He deserves to know.
00:36:41Max.
00:36:44You are Piper's father.
00:36:53I'll tell you when the time is right.
00:37:19Where's Piper?
00:37:21She must have snuck off
00:37:22while we were asleep.
00:37:30I'll tell you when the time is right.
00:37:39God, he's such a good kisser.
00:37:49Just gonna kiss and run?
00:37:52Not on my watch.
00:37:57Yeah, this.
00:37:59I remember this.
00:38:10Good morning, you two love bugs.
00:38:12How was your stay at Chateau Smith?
00:38:15Good morning, Miss Smith.
00:38:17It was, uh, it was great.
00:38:18Wonderful.
00:38:19Well, it's about to get even better.
00:38:23Oh, no.
00:38:25What is that?
00:38:26Sardines and saltines.
00:38:27It's a Smith family classic.
00:38:29It was my gram-grams favorite
00:38:31during wartime.
00:38:32Don't be shy.
00:38:33Go ahead, grab a handful.
00:38:36Max, you don't have to.
00:38:37No, no.
00:38:38It's okay.
00:38:39It's a Smith family staple.
00:38:51Yeah.
00:38:52Yeah.
00:39:00Good?
00:39:00Mmm.
00:39:02Good?
00:39:03Scrunches.
00:39:05Well, you two better get dressed.
00:39:07You gotta go see Aunt Miranda.
00:39:10Could I, um, could I have some water, please?
00:39:13That means there's no escaping Aunt Miranda
00:39:15in her brood this year.
00:39:17What's the deal with them?
00:39:18Every year, Aunt Miranda bullies Piper and I.
00:39:21Says Piper's a fatherless brat and I'm...
00:39:25Hey, don't worry.
00:39:27I'll protect you and Piper.
00:39:31Better have Sam on standby tonight, just in case.
00:39:34Well, looks like it's time to get dressed up then.
00:39:48Wait, that earring.
00:39:51Wait, that earring.
00:39:53You like it?
00:39:55I was so bummed when I lost the matching one years ago.
00:39:58Did you lose it seven years ago?
00:40:00I don't really remember the details, but luckily I was able to find a new pair.
00:40:06Right.
00:40:07Yeah, it's just a common earring.
00:40:09Anyone could have it.
00:40:10Maybe I'm reading too much into it.
00:40:12She can't be the woman from seven years ago.
00:40:16So, Ava and Piper still aren't here.
00:40:21But Derek said that Ava got married.
00:40:24What kind of man could she possibly have landed?
00:40:28An aging single mom.
00:40:30Slim pickings.
00:40:31I heard he's in waste management.
00:40:34That explains it.
00:40:35She's probably too embarrassed to show up.
00:40:38Oh, please, Miranda.
00:40:40You know, Ava is your niece.
00:40:41Oh, come on, Grandpa.
00:40:44Everyone knows Ava had a kid with a random one-night stand.
00:40:47Her track record speaks for itself.
00:40:49Exactly.
00:40:50Not like my Sierra, married to a legal advisor for Harrison Group.
00:40:56Oh, they're here.
00:40:59Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:41:05Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:41:07Merry Christmas.
00:41:09You must be Grandpa Harold.
00:41:10I am.
00:41:11I'm Ava's husband, Max.
00:41:13Pleasure to meet you.
00:41:14Welcome.
00:41:15You're Ava's husband.
00:41:18But you're gorgeous.
00:41:21But not as handsome as you.
00:41:24Look at you two.
00:41:25You look like you just stepped out of a movie.
00:41:27Merry Christmas, Grandpa.
00:41:28Merry Christmas, Grandpa.
00:41:30This is from Max and I.
00:41:31Oh, my goodness.
00:41:33Thank you, Ava.
00:41:33Let me grab that for you, Daddy.
00:41:36Oops.
00:41:37Oh, my bad.
00:41:38Oh, a homemade gift.
00:41:40How thrifty.
00:41:42Not all gifts are about the price tag.
00:41:45Mommy's right.
00:41:46You mean all a hack?
00:41:48You little.
00:41:50You will not lay a hand on my daughter, or you will lose yours.
00:41:54Oh, I think you broke my wrist.
00:41:58Look what you just did to my mother.
00:42:00My husband is Harrison Group's top legal advisor.
00:42:03He could ruin your life.
00:42:16Mommy, are you okay?
00:42:18I'm fine.
00:42:19I'm just wet, huh?
00:42:20Yeah.
00:42:21It's okay.
00:42:21It's okay.
00:42:24It's okay.
00:42:33It's okay.
00:42:34You know what, Sierra?
00:42:36I can take your little insults, but leave my family out of this.
00:42:41Her family.
00:42:43She means me.
00:42:48You okay, honey?
00:42:49Do I look okay to you, dumbass?
00:42:52Do something.
00:42:53You don't know who you're messing with.
00:42:55I've got the full weight of the Harrison Group behind me.
00:42:57Oh, wow.
00:42:58I'm sure the CEO would love to hear that you're using his company's name to bully people.
00:43:04Like you'd have any idea how a CEO thinks.
00:43:06Let's call him.
00:43:07I'm sure he'd be more than happy to be on my side.
00:43:11Please.
00:43:11Who do you think you are?
00:43:14Enough!
00:43:16There will be no arguing during Christmas.
00:43:19Fine, Dad.
00:43:21Let it go, Nathan.
00:43:22They're just jealous.
00:43:25For Grandpa's sake, I'll let you off easy.
00:43:28I think you owe Nathan a thank you.
00:43:32I think you owe me a thank you for slapping some sense into you.
00:43:35Do you want me to get the other cheek?
00:43:36All right, that's enough.
00:43:38Everyone come inside and sit down.
00:44:01Is this a joke?
00:44:03Can you please pass me some food?
00:44:05Hold it.
00:44:05Who said you could eat anything else?
00:44:08My husband and I paid for this feast.
00:44:13My husband and I paid for this feast.
00:44:17King crab, fresh from Alaska, and grass-fed wagyu.
00:44:22Three times the price, 50 times the flavor.
00:44:26And you don't get a single bite.
00:44:28It's just petty.
00:44:29Maybe so.
00:44:30But gourmet food isn't meant for bottom feeders.
00:44:34Fine.
00:44:36Then we won't stay and eat with you.
00:44:38Come on, let's go.
00:44:39No, no.
00:44:40Don't you dare leave our family dinner.
00:44:43Grandpa, I'm sorry, but they're treating us like...
00:44:46I know, dear.
00:44:48I just want to have our family together.
00:44:50Fine.
00:44:51We'll let the strays sit and eat with us.
00:44:54Better a stray than a bitch.
00:44:55What was that?
00:44:59I just want to have our family together.
00:45:02Fine.
00:45:03We'll stay.
00:45:05Can I have a little napalm?
00:45:07It's okay, sweetie.
00:45:08We'll get something right after.
00:45:10Like drive-thru?
00:45:12I hope you enjoy food poisoning.
00:45:14That will be a particularly memorable Christmas present.
00:45:19No strays.
00:45:20Al, sweetie, sweetie, are you okay?
00:45:23Yes, I'm fine.
00:45:24You hit my child.
00:45:26You're fucking crazy!
00:45:27Well, if you teach her some manners, maybe I wouldn't have to.
00:45:34Don't worry, baby.
00:45:35I'll handle it.
00:45:38Don't worry, baby.
00:45:39I'll handle it.
00:45:44Piper.
00:45:45Sweetie, are you ready to try the best food
00:45:47you've ever had in your life?
00:45:51Okay, sweetheart.
00:45:52Give me two minutes and one phone call.
00:45:55As if you have a chef on speed dial.
00:45:58Actually, I do.
00:46:00He's such a liar.
00:46:01This ought to be hilarious.
00:46:03Oh, it will be.
00:46:07Sam!
00:46:08Yeah, send the troops
00:46:09and bring that king crab from Antarctica.
00:46:12I'm already on my way.
00:46:16Bring that king crab from Antarctica.
00:46:19I'm already on my way.
00:46:22You hear this guy?
00:46:23He wants the best king crab in the world.
00:46:26From Antarctica.
00:46:28Now I get why you married him, Eva.
00:46:30His silly delusions are just adorable.
00:46:34Max, what are you doing?
00:46:35Don't worry about it, sweetheart.
00:46:37Santa's already on his way.
00:46:38Actually, five, four, three, two, one.
00:46:48A helicopter?
00:46:56There's no way.
00:47:02How did you pull this off?
00:47:03Sam is like family.
00:47:04I thought I'd introduce you, too.
00:47:06Thanks, boss.
00:47:08Boss?
00:47:09Eva's always been genuine with me.
00:47:11Maybe it's time she knew who I really am.
00:47:14Eva, I think it's time you actually know the truth.
00:47:18I'm Maximus Harrison.
00:47:21You're the CEO of Harrison Group?
00:47:24Mm-hmm.
00:47:27Come on.
00:47:29You can stop kidding around.
00:47:31If you were the CEO, why would you be here pretending to be my husband?
00:47:35No, I actually am the CEO.
00:47:37Come on.
00:47:38You can stop the charade.
00:47:39Okay, this is just another favor from that bigwig friend, isn't it?
00:47:42Eva, I'm not pretending.
00:47:46Mr. Harrison, the Antarctic king crab as you requested.
00:47:58How is this possible?
00:48:00This loser brings Antarctic king crab and has his own personal chef?
00:48:06Who are you?
00:48:08I told you, I'm Eva's husband.
00:48:11That chef called him Mr. Harrison.
00:48:14Wait, no.
00:48:15Hold on.
00:48:17You're the actual CEO of the Harrison Group?
00:48:21You're worth more than some whole countries.
00:48:24Hmm.
00:48:25Some of the small ones.
00:48:26I mean, you know that.
00:48:28You work for me.
00:48:30Oh, God.
00:48:31I insulted my own boss.
00:48:33I'm finished.
00:48:38Oh, God.
00:48:39I insulted my own boss.
00:48:41I'm finished.
00:48:43Didn't think Max would commit this hard.
00:48:45Pretending to be CEO is a hell of a move.
00:48:47Worth every penny I'm paying him.
00:48:49For tonight, your feast ends.
00:48:51And with that, your career.
00:48:54You're fired.
00:48:55Fired?
00:48:56Sam.
00:49:01You're fired?
00:49:02Oh, God.
00:49:03I can't be fired.
00:49:05What?
00:49:07Mr. Harrison, please.
00:49:08You can have as much crab as you want.
00:49:10Please, Mr. Harrison.
00:49:11I'll do anything.
00:49:13Guys, take out the trash.
00:49:20And you.
00:49:21Oh, me?
00:49:24Mr. Harrison, come on.
00:49:25That was a Christmas joke.
00:49:27It's like a family tradition.
00:49:29Yeah, well, there's a new family tradition.
00:49:31Sam.
00:49:36Will you do me the honors?
00:49:39Gladly.
00:49:43Merry Christmas, Aunt Maria.
00:49:48Father, do something.
00:49:50Well, you kind of deserve that.
00:49:52I'm leaving.
00:49:54Mmm, pumpkin.
00:49:55My favorite.
00:50:01Come on, sweetie.
00:50:02Daddy had this crab flung in just for you.
00:50:05Eat as much as you want.
00:50:06Thanks, Daddy.
00:50:10I am so sorry I ruined your Christmas.
00:50:13I just couldn't take them treating you like that.
00:50:15Honestly, this is the best Christmas I've ever had.
00:50:19Well, if you want, we can have many more.
00:50:20Just like this.
00:50:22Does he really mean that?
00:50:24Or is he just playing the part?
00:50:26I can't tell.
00:50:28And that terrifies me.
00:50:33Merry Christmas, Miss Harrison.
00:50:35I brought you a gift.
00:50:36Here's the paternity test between the boss and that little girl.
00:50:43Oh, this is wonderful.
00:50:47Sam, I have a granddaughter.
00:50:50Tell me everything.
00:50:52Miss Eva Smith, single mother, small town gal, didn't finish high school, currently works in retail.
00:50:57Oh, Maximus, I thought I raised you better.
00:51:01A high school dropout?
00:51:03In the Harrison family?
00:51:05Not a chance.
00:51:10She is clearly unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:51:14Maximus seems to like her.
00:51:15Silence.
00:51:15Get me the address where she works.
00:51:18It's Happy Heels on Broadway.
00:51:19That's nice.
00:51:21We own that one.
00:51:23Good work.
00:51:24But take off that stupid hat.
00:51:35Thanks.
00:51:36So your dad insisted that I try this wine that he's been saving for 20 years.
00:51:42Sounds like he's happy with his new son-in-law.
00:51:45And how about you?
00:51:49Me?
00:51:50Yeah.
00:51:53Are you happy with your new husband?
00:51:58Eva.
00:51:59Eva.
00:51:59Eva.
00:52:01Eva.
00:52:08That birthmark.
00:52:10Family to me is a big commitment.
00:52:13And I don't want any loose ends.
00:52:15You know?
00:52:16Maximus, there's so much we don't know.
00:52:18So much we're not telling each other.
00:52:20Uh.
00:52:22No feelings, no complications.
00:52:24That's what we agreed upon.
00:52:25Yeah, I didn't sign a contract.
00:52:28Max.
00:52:29Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:52:32It's cold.
00:52:34Maybe I'll go grab some more firewood.
00:52:37Max.
00:52:40I need to tell you something.
00:52:43Something important.
00:52:45What's gotten into her?
00:52:47Is she hiding something?
00:52:49Is this the part where you tell me there's no Santa?
00:52:52I haven't been completely honest with you.
00:52:57Piper is...
00:52:59Piper is...
00:53:01Mommy, Daddy, my hand hurts.
00:53:04Sweetie.
00:53:04Oh my gosh.
00:53:05It's all swollen.
00:53:06Must have been when that witch smacked her with the fork earlier.
00:53:09Listen, you stay here with Daddy.
00:53:10Mommy's going to go get a first aid kit, okay?
00:53:14Come on, Piper.
00:53:18Okay, let me see.
00:53:23I promise I won't let anyone hurt you or Mommy again.
00:53:26But that's not true.
00:53:28You're leaving after Christmas, aren't you?
00:53:32Uh...
00:53:33Daddy!
00:53:34No!
00:53:35Well...
00:53:41Don't you dare disrespect my husband.
00:53:46Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:53:49Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:53:51Really?
00:53:52Please stay, Daddy.
00:53:56You think it was Scar?
00:54:00Hmm.
00:54:02I wouldn't worry about it.
00:54:04Scars make you look like a badass.
00:54:06I have one, too.
00:54:08Dad.
00:54:09I got that when I was about your age.
00:54:11Some punk came at me with a switchblade.
00:54:14Really?
00:54:15No way.
00:54:16No.
00:54:17It was actually a cactus.
00:54:19But it's still cool.
00:54:22I have something like that on the back of my neck.
00:54:28Piper, how long have you had that?
00:54:30My mom said I had that when I was born.
00:54:37And how old are you?
00:54:39Six.
00:54:40Six?
00:54:41That one night stand was about seven years ago.
00:54:43Okay, I found the first aid kit.
00:54:45Yvonne, are you sure we haven't met before?
00:54:49What do I even say?
00:54:51And how do I explain it to Piper?
00:54:53Sorry, honey.
00:54:54This man's your dad, and he didn't know you existed until now.
00:54:59Um...
00:54:59Yeah.
00:55:01Can I see your hand, sweetie?
00:55:04Eva.
00:55:09Okay, look.
00:55:12Piper is...
00:55:19Go on.
00:55:25That must be an emergency.
00:55:28Excuse me.
00:55:29Sorry.
00:55:30I'll take this.
00:55:37Mommy, are you okay?
00:55:39Yeah.
00:55:41Mommy's just realizing she's a coward.
00:55:44I don't even have the guts to tell the truth.
00:55:48Why haven't you picked up my calls?
00:55:51I'm telling you, Max, that woman is manipulating you.
00:55:54She's a high school dropout, doesn't even have a decent job, and she's unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:56:01I'm Eva's husband, Max.
00:56:03That man has no idea what a treasure he's missing out on.
00:56:11I'm sorry, Max.
00:56:13You can't know Piper's your daughter.
00:56:15Your mother would take her away.
00:56:16After Christmas, it's over.
00:56:20Eva?
00:56:22Maximus?
00:56:23Are you even listening to me?
00:56:25No, Mom, Mom.
00:56:26Listen, I'm sorry, okay?
00:56:28Eva's my wife, and I've made up my mind.
00:56:30I'm not leaving her.
00:56:33Eva?
00:56:38Oh, thank you, I mean, that's awesome.
00:56:42For me?
00:56:43Oh, thank you, Mom.
00:56:44This is for you, Grandma.
00:56:50Oh, wow.
00:56:52That's so cool.
00:56:53Did you make it?
00:56:54Derek, this is from Eva and I.
00:56:58Oh, thank you so much.
00:57:00Just glad you're here.
00:57:04Oh, wow.
00:57:06Damn, these are nice.
00:57:09Grandpa, language, little ears.
00:57:16Piper, do you want to go see your present?
00:57:18It's in the other room by the train set.
00:57:20Here, I'll go with you.
00:57:21Remember the song that we sang?
00:57:22Ready, ready?
00:57:23Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
00:57:26What do we got, guys?
00:57:26Billy.
00:57:27Walking home from our house, Christmas Eve.
00:57:33You never told me.
00:57:36Have we met before?
00:57:41Have we met before?
00:57:44She's unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:57:49I don't know what you're getting at.
00:57:52Eva, I have the same birthmark as Piper.
00:58:03I don't know what you're talking about.
00:58:04Lots of people have birthmarks.
00:58:06They're very common.
00:58:07I feel so awful, but I can't lose my child.
00:58:10No matter how I feel about him.
00:58:14Maybe.
00:58:17Are you okay?
00:58:20Are the clogs a bad idea?
00:58:23No.
00:58:24I'm fine.
00:58:27Oh, I almost forgot.
00:58:32I got you this.
00:58:34You got me a gift, too?
00:58:35Tis the season.
00:58:37Open it.
00:58:50Gloves.
00:58:52Did you make these?
00:58:54Yeah.
00:58:55I know this is a fake marriage, but that's Christmas.
00:58:59You've already done so much for me.
00:59:00I just wanted to do a little something for you.
00:59:05How did I feel?
00:59:06Warm, right?
00:59:08Yeah.
00:59:09Warm.
00:59:11Soft.
00:59:14Perfect.
00:59:19Thank you, Eva.
00:59:21I've never gotten anything this meaningful before.
00:59:25Really?
00:59:26Yeah, my mom.
00:59:28She partied all the time.
00:59:29And I got gifts.
00:59:31Plenty of them, but...
00:59:33I don't think she ever bought one herself.
00:59:35Nothing personal.
00:59:39Well, you deserve it.
00:59:41You're a good guy.
00:59:43And someday you'll find someone special to spend all your Christmases with.
00:59:51And what if that day's today?
00:59:56What if I already found someone special?
01:00:00Right here.
01:00:24Max, we can't.
01:00:27If you want me to stop, you better tell me right now.
01:00:35Come on.
01:00:36I don't want you to stop.
01:00:44No matter how many years pass, I still can't resist him.
01:00:54No matter how many years pass, I don't think so.
01:01:13What do you want to say?
01:01:17Piper!
01:01:26Piper?
01:01:29She can't see us.
01:01:47Eva?
01:01:51Grandma, I'm up here!
01:02:05That was way too close.
01:02:07Yeah. We would have gotten on the naughty list.
01:02:13Sometimes it's fun to be naughty.
01:02:18Can I still unwrap my present?
01:02:22You still haven't given me mine.
01:02:29Let me give it to you.
01:03:07Who is calling me this already?
01:03:12Hello?
01:03:13Hello, Eva Smith. I'm Max's mother. Name your price. What will it take for you to leave my son alone?
01:03:21What?
01:03:22We both know my son is way out of your league. Take the money, leave my granddaughter with us, and
01:03:29go. My son will find a better wife and a better mother for his child.
01:03:34Piper is my daughter, and no amount of money you offer could ever make me give her up. So you
01:03:38keep your money, and I'll leave on my own, but I am not handing Piper over to you.
01:03:45Well, there's my beautiful wife.
01:03:52You okay?
01:03:56Look, we made it through Christmas.
01:03:59So I think it's best we go our separate ways.
01:04:03What are you talking about?
01:04:05It's over. It's not that hard to understand.
01:04:12Eva, wait!
01:04:15So last night meant nothing to you?
01:04:22Well, Max, it's not real. None of it was real.
01:04:26So, it's just a goodbye?
01:04:30Didn't realize I was so disposable for you.
01:04:33Look.
01:04:35Last night,
01:04:38I let my guard down.
01:04:39But I'm a mother, and my choices affect Piper.
01:04:42And being with you can mess up everything between us.
01:04:45Just tell me what you need.
01:04:48I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband, a good father.
01:04:52Just say the word.
01:04:58You don't get it.
01:05:01You don't get it.
01:05:09I think it's time Piper and I go back to New York.
01:05:16I won't give up on us.
01:05:32Are we here?
01:05:34Yes.
01:05:35As much as I don't want us to be,
01:05:38we're back.
01:05:42Piper.
01:05:42Piper.
01:05:43Sweetie, wake up.
01:05:44We're home.
01:05:48How can she just walk away?
01:05:58Don't forget you have to meet my mom.
01:06:00It's part of the agreement, too.
01:06:02Can I just pay you a little extra and skip it?
01:06:05Hey, you promised.
01:06:07Eva, I haven't asked you for much.
01:06:09Can you do this for me, please?
01:06:12All right, fine.
01:06:14When?
01:06:16Two days.
01:06:17I'll come pick you up.
01:06:18No need.
01:06:20Just send me the address and I'll meet you there.
01:06:27I know you and mommy thought, but she still really likes you.
01:06:32So don't give up, okay, daddy?
01:06:35Thank you, sweetie.
01:06:36If there's one thing you should know about your daddy,
01:06:38I always fight for the ones I love.
01:06:53If you fight, I'm injured and I'm injured and it's the truth.
01:06:56It's the truth.
01:07:00Eva's meeting my mother today.
01:07:01Time to finally tell her the truth.
01:07:04Boss?
01:07:06Boss?
01:07:10Lady and gentlemen, I am so sorry.
01:07:13I need to go win back my family.
01:07:16Family?
01:07:16Boss, are you okay?
01:07:18Never better.
01:07:21Go get her, Max.
01:07:25Give it your best smile and...
01:07:28Ah, there he is.
01:07:30Maximus, darling.
01:07:32I have some prospects for you.
01:07:35Nice high society girls from the city.
01:07:40Oh.
01:07:42I told you.
01:07:43I already found the woman I love.
01:07:47Well...
01:07:51Maximus, stop this.
01:07:53That Eva woman is scamming you, son.
01:07:57Tell me what kind of woman you want and I'll find you another.
01:08:00You are heir to the Harrison dynasty.
01:08:04No, I'm not.
01:08:06Oh?
01:08:07I work in waste management and I'm a secret crime boss.
01:08:11I'm Eva's husband and I'm a father.
01:08:16What?
01:08:29Oh, that's her.
01:08:31The woman who got my son head over heels.
01:08:36Hi.
01:08:36Welcome in.
01:08:37Can I help you find something?
01:08:39I want to try those.
01:08:43Awesome, I'll get them for you right away.
01:08:46Are you?
01:08:47Sure you wouldn't want something more sensible?
01:08:52No, no, no.
01:08:53I know.
01:08:54I know what I want.
01:08:55Size 7.
01:08:58Oh, baby can't even walk but she wants $3,000 heels.
01:09:02Come on, she wants the white shoes.
01:09:09Ignore her.
01:09:10She's just grumpy over the holidays.
01:09:12Here, let me help you.
01:09:13Come on.
01:09:18She seems kind.
01:09:24I shouldn't be that impressed.
01:09:27She's just doing her job.
01:09:30How do they feel?
01:09:31Well, I love the style.
01:09:33But it's too small.
01:09:35I think I need a size up.
01:09:37Maybe my feet are still growing.
01:09:41Right away.
01:09:42I'll be right back.
01:09:44She's not only kind, she's patient.
01:09:47Was I wrong about her?
01:10:03Are you gluing the heel back on?
01:10:07Well, who gives a shit?
01:10:09She can't walk.
01:10:13That's just pure evil.
01:10:16Oh, come on, St. Eva.
01:10:19She's in a wheelchair.
01:10:21Who cares?
01:10:22It's the last pair.
01:10:23I get paid commission.
01:10:30I am not doing that, Vanessa.
01:10:33See?
01:10:35This is your whole problem.
01:10:38This is why you'll always be broke.
01:10:42I don't care if she can walk or not.
01:10:45I'm not selling her junk.
01:10:47She has to deal with people like this?
01:10:50People who insult her all day?
01:10:53I'm your manager.
01:10:58Sell the old bitty the shoes or you're fired.
01:11:07Did I stutter?
01:11:12You don't have to fire me.
01:11:16I quit.
01:11:22I don't work here anymore.
01:11:25Listen, don't buy the shoes.
01:11:27They're broken.
01:11:29Spend your hard-earned money elsewhere, okay?
01:11:30You're a good person after all.
01:11:34Looks like I misjudged you.
01:11:37I'm sorry?
01:11:39Why are you still here, Eva?
01:11:42Get out!
01:11:48You're not disabled?
01:11:50Selling a broken heel to someone you thought was handicapped?
01:11:54Absolutely shameful.
01:11:56Who are you?
01:11:58I am the chairwoman of the Harrison Group and the owner of this store.
01:12:04You're Eleanor Harrison, mother of the CEO?
01:12:08I am.
01:12:10And you, my dear, are fired!
01:12:13What did I do?
01:12:17You are a good person.
01:12:20From now on, this store is yours to run.
01:12:26Are you serious?
01:12:28That's right.
01:12:30Don't be nervous, child.
01:12:32You are professional.
01:12:35Responsible.
01:12:36Far better than that two-bit manager.
01:12:42You.
01:12:43Out!
01:12:44I'll leave.
01:12:48I'm leaving.
01:12:51I...
01:12:52I feel like I'm dreaming.
01:12:55No.
01:12:56Don't worry.
01:12:57You're getting a promotion!
01:12:59You deserve it, my dear.
01:13:03First assignment.
01:13:05I want that row, and that row, and the entire display case.
01:13:12Pack it all up and bring it to my house.
01:13:15Okay.
01:13:16Yeah.
01:13:18Once we're home, I'll tell her I'm her mother-in-law.
01:13:22I can't wait to finally meet my granddaughter.
01:13:31She's the mother of a CEO.
01:13:33Of course she lives like this.
01:13:44Mrs. Harrison?
01:13:46I'm here with your delivery.
01:13:50Max?
01:13:51Eva?
01:13:52What are you doing here?
01:13:55I, uh...
01:13:56There you are, Eva!
01:13:59Wonderful we can finally meet each other properly.
01:14:02My new daughter-in-law.
01:14:05What are you talking...
01:14:09That means you really are the CEO of Harrison Group.
01:14:14Well, I tried to tell you, but...
01:14:16Stop!
01:14:17And you...
01:14:18You lied to me at the store!
01:14:21You were both just testing me?
01:14:23Is this some sick game rich people play?
01:14:26I'm sorry, Eva.
01:14:27I thought you might be using my son just after his money.
01:14:31But I was wrong.
01:14:32Eva, please.
01:14:33I don't deserve to be treated like this.
01:14:35Not every working class girl is after your money.
01:14:39How could you think that of me?
01:14:40It's not like that, dear.
01:14:43Eva, what are you talking about?
01:14:45Mom!
01:14:46What did you do?
01:14:47I was just trying to get the two of you back together.
01:14:50We're not together.
01:14:52And I can't love something that was never real.
01:14:58I made a horrible mistake.
01:15:02What are you waiting for, son?
01:15:03Go after her.
01:15:07Eva.
01:15:08Let me go!
01:15:09I swear, it's not what you think.
01:15:11We come from two completely different worlds.
01:15:13Stop pretending like you care!
01:15:14I'm not pretending!
01:15:15Okay, I can't fake what we have.
01:15:17And everything I've done for you, and Piper, this is real.
01:15:25Touch my wife again and I will snap every finger that you've got.
01:15:29Max, you came.
01:15:31God, you weren't driving me fucking insane.
01:15:35I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband, a good father.
01:15:39Just say the word.
01:15:43See?
01:15:46Stop fighting.
01:15:49We belong together.
01:15:51You're wrong.
01:15:53Wrong about what?
01:15:55That you care?
01:15:57Or we belong together.
01:15:58Look, I already told you.
01:16:00We're from two completely different worlds.
01:16:02Now, I held up my end of the deal, and I met your mother, like we discussed.
01:16:06I want a fake divorce from my fake husband.
01:16:12Eva!
01:16:15Eva!
01:16:17I'm sorry, Maximus.
01:16:19Walking away is the only choice I have.
01:16:27Ow!
01:16:29Are you okay, Mommy?
01:16:31Yeah, sweetie, I'm fine.
01:16:33Come here.
01:16:42No, you're not fine.
01:16:43You're sad.
01:16:46I'm okay, sweetie.
01:16:50I miss Daddy, too.
01:16:54I want Max to be my real daddy.
01:16:59Don't you want to be with him?
01:17:03Lovebug.
01:17:05You're right.
01:17:06What am I doing?
01:17:07Running like a coward?
01:17:10I've always taught you to be brave.
01:17:13Now it's time for Mommy to be brave, too.
01:17:16I believe in you.
01:17:18What are you gonna do, Mommy?
01:17:20I know exactly what to say to him.
01:17:25Maximus deserves to know.
01:17:27Piper is his daughter.
01:17:34Enough sulking.
01:17:36Go get your wife and my grandbaby back.
01:17:39Don't you think I want to?
01:17:42She doesn't want me.
01:17:43I didn't raise you to give up.
01:17:45Your daughter is still out there.
01:17:47You can't abandon her.
01:17:48Mom, you don't get it.
01:17:50I made a deal with Eva to play my wife.
01:17:53And Piper, she was...
01:17:55an added bonus.
01:17:57What are you talking about?
01:17:59I already ran a DNA test.
01:18:02Piper is your daughter.
01:18:05What?
01:18:06See for yourself.
01:18:13I was right.
01:18:14Seven years ago.
01:18:16New Years, that woman was Eva.
01:18:28Eva!
01:18:30Hey!
01:18:32Daddy!
01:18:34Daddy!
01:18:35Piper!
01:18:38I missed you so much, sweetheart.
01:18:46You came back.
01:18:51I, uh...
01:18:53Don't forget to be brave, Mommy.
01:19:00I, uh...
01:19:02I, uh...
01:19:03I was scared.
01:19:04But I don't want to be scared anymore.
01:19:07Because what we have is real, and it's worth fighting for.
01:19:11Sweetheart, I have something to tell you.
01:19:15I have something to tell you, too.
01:19:19Piper is your daughter.
01:19:21You knew.
01:19:22My sweet granddaughter.
01:19:24Emma!
01:19:28Well, I just found out for sure a few minutes ago, but you've known this whole time?
01:19:33I was scared.
01:19:34Okay, I didn't know if you were gonna take her from me.
01:19:36I didn't know how you were feeling.
01:19:39How could you not know how I felt?
01:19:52I love you, Eva.
01:19:56I love you, too.
01:19:58I promise.
01:19:59For the rest of my life, I'm going to make it up to you.
01:20:03As long as we're together, it doesn't matter where we are.
01:20:06Yeah.
01:20:16Will you marry me, Eva?
01:20:19For real this time?
01:20:20Yeah, yes!
01:20:22Yes, of course I'll marry you!
01:20:28Yes!
01:20:36Looks like you're stuck with me the next Christmas, and the Christmas after that, and forever!
01:20:43I wouldn't have it any other way.
01:20:50Who's that?
01:20:53Eva!
01:20:55Take me back!
01:20:58I'm sorry!
01:20:59I'm struck your tire!
01:21:01Ah!
01:21:03Looks like I have to take out the trash.
01:21:06Again.
01:21:09No?
01:21:10Not funny?
01:21:11You look better ΠΠ°ΠΏ the temer think?
01:21:21If you're determined!
01:21:26Oh my God, baby!
01:21:27I take care.
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