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Short filmTranscript
00:11Mom! I'm ready for my first day of work.
00:16Ta-da!
00:18Ta-da!
00:24Hey. Hey, Mom, what's wrong?
00:27I'm sorry, baby. You're only 17 and you have to work as a maid.
00:32Oh, no, Mom! Mom, don't cry.
00:35Everything is going to be okay.
00:37Being a maid isn't a disgrace. It's honest work.
00:41Of course. I haven't dropped out of school yet.
00:45You're right. I mean, we have a pretty good room and board included.
00:53First day or not, we're going to show them that we can take better care of this mansion than anyone
00:57else.
00:58Okay?
00:59Okay.
01:00Come here.
01:01Oh.
01:03I love you, Mom.
01:04I love you, too.
01:06Okay.
01:08Let's get up.
01:10Oh, thank you.
01:11Whoa, whoa, whoa!
01:12Careful with your leg, Mom!
01:13Fine. It's okay.
01:14Why don't you take a break?
01:16Now, I can take care of this bedroom.
01:19Okay.
01:20Just make sure it's spotless.
01:22Bathroom two.
01:22They belong to none other than Noah Wyndham.
01:26Noah Wyndham?
01:29Who's that?
01:30Noah is the heir of the Wyndham fortune.
01:33He's been away a year studying abroad, or so they say.
01:37They also say he's been expelled and shipped off to London.
01:40He's returning sooner than anyone expected.
01:43Tonight, in fact.
01:46Okay.
01:48Well, I'll make sure it's clean for tonight.
01:50Okay.
01:51Go rest.
02:11God, I really have to pee.
02:14Mmm.
02:32I'll make sure it's normal.
02:32I'll be able to see you later.
02:33como veal.
02:40All right.
02:40About the pieces, I love you.
02:41I love you.
02:41I love you.
02:42I love you.
02:43I love you.
02:45I love you, too.
02:49I love you.
02:49I love you.
02:51I love you.
03:08Come to me home.
03:22Get out!
03:24Now!
03:26I'm gonna call security!
03:30Security?
03:31What, should I knock next time?
03:34On my own door?
03:38Oh, you're Noah Whedon.
03:42Yeah, I'd shake your hand, but it seems like you're, uh,
03:46a little tied up.
03:50Oh, hey.
03:52Don't forget to wash up.
03:56What the jerk?
04:07God, that was the most embarrassing moment of my life.
04:12Sure was, bro!
04:16Uh...
04:19So, you and your mom are the new maze, huh?
04:24Yes.
04:26Now, if you will excuse me...
04:30Whoa, hey!
04:33Aren't you forgetting something?
04:38Uh...
04:40My bath.
04:41Go get it started.
04:43Don't forget the extra bubbles, please.
04:45Oh!
05:00Your bath is ready!
05:02My bath is ready!
05:03Ooh!
05:12You cold?
05:29Oh my god!
05:30Get out of me!
05:33Ugh!
05:36Stop your hands off me, you pervert!
05:39Oh my god!
05:45This is gonna be fun.
05:58Noah!
06:00Because of your shenanigans, I have had to deal with your expulsion from not one but two of the best
06:08boarding schools in all of London.
06:10Third time's the charm, right?
06:12I have enrolled you in the finest private high school in all of the city!
06:23Hmm...
06:24Okay.
06:26We're on one condition.
06:28Condition?
06:32She's coming with me.
06:34No!
06:37Quiet.
06:40Have you completely lost your mind?
06:42This girl is a stray.
06:44She's meant for scrubbing toilets.
06:51Alright, look.
06:52If you want to keep your job, and you want me to go to New York's finest academic academy, then
06:59she's coming with me.
07:05Mom, I can't.
07:08She's right.
07:09Even if she wanted to.
07:10I can't afford it.
07:12Afford it?
07:14Well, that's not a problem in this house, right, Mom?
07:20Who do you think you are?
07:23Do you think that you can manipulate me?
07:28I promise I'll get straight A's.
07:34Look, think of it more like, um, like, um, emotional support.
07:38Like a therapy dog.
07:41But prettier.
07:44Fine.
07:45But dream on if you think I am paying even a nickel of her tuition.
07:51I'll call the principal and arrange a scholarship for her.
07:56See?
07:58Problem solved.
08:04What do you say?
08:09You're welcome.
08:12Who the hell does he think he is?
08:37Hey, are you suicidal?
08:39What?
08:40Why would you say that?
08:42Because, girl, you're going to ruin your social life rolling up on that thing.
08:46This is a perfectly serviceable means of transportation.
08:50Have some dignity.
08:52Get in.
08:53No.
08:59God help her.
09:01Like a lamb, she rides straight to the slaughter.
09:14But the same thing, that's nothing.
09:15Once you're telling her, don't be afraid.
09:15You know what?
09:18Where is your car and your family?
09:19You're like, I don't see.
09:19What are you talking about?
09:19What are you talking about?
09:20I don't know what you are talking about.
09:20Why don't you go up to your child?
09:20I just wanna say that.
09:21Like...
09:21Like a lady, my mother says,
09:23It is, it's a man that people call a woman who's trying to experience the nature of a woman who's
09:31kind of young people like them.
09:50oh my god he is back he is back who the hell is he noah he is back
10:01noah's back mm-hmm oh my god oh my way my man is back
10:18noah oh my god back from london god you look good
10:24that's me houston we have a problem shit it's jackson and his crew
10:34where is he
10:39well if it isn't noah windham you know i thought you got shipped off to london to work through your
10:45daddy issues
10:46oh wait i mean dead daddy issues
10:55how would you come here and say that to my face
11:02no no no no no no no no no no no my brain is totally sorry
11:08ahhhh
11:10oh
11:12what the
11:14what the hell are you doing here who the hell are you
11:19oh
11:20oh no i'm i'm nude it's it's my first day
11:23does this girl actually think she's a student here where's her uniform
11:27there's no way she can be a student i think she's the janitor's law skit
11:33what the hell is wrong with you i go here it's just my first day
11:37oh it's cute she thinks she belongs someone get her a map she clearly got lost on the way to
11:44a homeless shelter
11:50do you have a problem
11:52oh it looks like a little miss janitor has a backbone
11:56don't you dare lay a finger on emma she's the most popular girl at this school
12:03that's right
12:04that's right
12:05oh
12:08don't worry everybody
12:09she's got a helmet on
12:11i think she'll pull through
12:13hey
12:15don't be mean
12:20come on
12:22oh
12:23oh
12:24oh
12:24oh
12:25god she's dumb she actually fell for that
12:28how pathetic
12:31why would you do that
12:38girls
12:41oh
12:44wiggling around like a little worm i could watch this all day
12:50do you guys see that
12:51those sad puppy dog guys staring right back at me
12:54this girl basically thought i was her future husband
13:00come on
13:00i'll help you for real
13:02you're a big man huh
13:03showing off by pushing girls on the ground
13:06real impressive
13:12but my scooter
13:14noah wait i need to talk to you
13:17no keep it pushing
13:18guess noah likes this girl's poor
13:19and desperate
13:21that stupid broke girl
13:23please
13:24she looks like she gets dressed out of donation bins
13:28ha ha ha
13:30louie
13:31oy
13:33let go of me
13:36what did i tell you
13:38rolling up to new york's finest institution on the trash mobile
13:42you know
13:43i mean
13:44you didn't think that would have consequences
13:46you know
13:47you're just like those other kids
13:48stuck up
13:50and a jerk
13:51whoa i just saved you from those monsters
13:56are you blind?
13:58you're the monster
14:00you threw me in the situation
14:07oh
14:08and i'm not some play thing you can toy around with
14:14okay
14:16maybe
14:17i'm not a very humorous person
14:20all right
14:21all right
14:21class
14:22winter assignment roll call
14:24stand face class
14:26and tell us which important family member you interviewed
14:28we are not presenting today
14:31but
14:31i'd like to know who made the cut
14:34so
14:34mr lucas
14:37begin
14:39uh
14:41i interviewed my grandfather
14:43he's the owner of the airline company
14:46jet shoe airways
14:53i interviewed my mother
14:55duh
14:56for those of you who don't know
14:58my mother is a senator
15:00for the state of new york
15:05yes
15:07please stand
15:09yes
15:10but
15:11i wasn't a student last semester so
15:14doesn't matter
15:15just
15:15tell us
15:17who you would have interviewed
15:18and
15:19that's it
15:24okay but i
15:25let's make this easy
15:26your mother
15:27what's your mother's profession
15:33oh no
15:34i can't tell the entire class my mom is a maid
15:52uh
15:53my mother is
15:56spit it out
15:57we don't have on it
15:59whoa whoa whoa
16:00uh
16:03her mom's job is classified
16:06it's uh
16:07governor
16:08i got you
16:13i can't tell the entire class my mother's
16:17okay
16:18then sit back down please
16:24oh my god that's the grossest thing i've ever seen
16:28Holy shit, she's not bleeding, she's flying.
16:32Ewww, she can't even afford a tampon!
16:36Hahahaha!
16:38Ssss.
16:41YOU DISGUSTING PIECE OF SHIT!
16:44Ewww!
16:52Fucking dead!
16:56You're fucking dead!
17:01Back off.
17:02Well, well.
17:03The night in shining on.
17:05Here to rescue his dumpster diving girlfriend, huh?
17:08Hey!
17:09Hey, that's enough!
17:09You guys are acting like children.
17:12Gentlemen, this is an elite institution, and I expect better from you.
17:16So cool it, and everyone back to your seats now!
17:24Better get someone to scrub that seat.
17:26Looks like she marked it for life.
17:29You!
17:31You!
17:41Fight!
17:42Fight!
17:43Fight!
17:43Fight!
17:45Fight!
17:46Oh
18:00Enough
18:02Enough you you with me let's go
18:07Everyone back in your seats
18:13Looks like no I have a crush in a new dumpster girl
18:18Shut your trap
18:20He's just being nice to her. That's all
18:23There's zero chance. He actually likes that scum brat
18:29Actually, I've got an idea
18:32Let's go. Where are we going?
18:35I'm gonna check up on that homeless rat
18:38Where is she?
18:40Where do you think airhead?
18:53Oh my god, are you okay?
18:58Leave me alone
19:00Well, we saw your accident
19:02It wasn't my accident
19:05Oh, don't worry
19:07It happens to all of us, right girls?
19:10Mm-hmm
19:12And because we care so much, we just wanted to drop by and help a girl out
19:17Really?
19:19Yeah
19:23Stop
19:26You're gonna need it
19:32You're gonna need it
19:33Oh my god, just 20,000 people watching
19:38Say hello to all your fans
19:45I bet they're dying to see those fake tits of yours
19:49You little shit
19:49Oh my god, just-
19:49No
19:57You little shit
19:59This better be your last day at this school
20:02Or I'll have more surprises waiting for you
20:05You understand?
20:09Yes, yes, yes, yes, I'm sorry
20:12Yes, yes, yes, yes, I'm sorry
20:15Let's go girls.
20:24Oh my god.
20:26Bro, that's her!
20:27Yo!
20:41Hachimi!
20:42Just get away now!
20:44Hey, I'm just trying to help.
20:52I can do it myself.
20:57No, go.
20:59Stand up.
21:01What?
21:02Stand up.
21:06Just listen to me.
21:09Stand up.
21:12What do you want?
21:25There.
21:27Now, the stain's still there, but nobody can see.
21:31Or worse, take pictures.
21:34But there's only three more hours of school, so...
21:39Oh my god, he's sweet.
21:42Who is this boy?
21:45I don't...
21:50What happened here?
21:52Muffet.
21:57Noah, you're in some deep shit. You gotta go to the principal's office.
22:06Hey!
22:09What happened?
22:11You didn't hear?
22:12He got into a fight with Jackson.
22:15He fought...
22:16Jackson for me?
22:26Mr. Miller, I thought you would have learned your lesson by now, given your expulsion from this same school just
22:33one year ago.
22:45However, it seems some things never change. I will not have you making a mockery of this prestigious institution. Do
22:53you hear me, young man?
22:55I hear you. But you're dead wrong.
22:59Excuse me?
23:00Who is this fool who is making a mockery of your school?
23:04Principal Stevens, things should go easy on him. Clearly he's still not over his daddy issues.
23:09You mention my dad one more time, I swear to fucking god!
23:12Mr. Noah, if you so much as lay a finger on Mr. Jackson, I will have you expelled from this
23:18school permanently. Do you understand?
23:31Wait, Noah, what's wrong?
23:32First thing you could talk to me.
23:37I'm such a fool for thinking he was sweet. He's a total jerk.
23:52There she is!
23:55How's my princess's first day of school?
23:58It was great.
24:00Well, did you make any new friends?
24:02A bunch of them.
24:04Mrs. Lily?
24:06Mrs. Lily?
24:08You are needed by Noah.
24:10Uh... Noah? For what?
24:13His school uniform needs some ironing.
24:16Mrs. Lily?
24:27Mrs. Lily?
24:51Well, if it isn't my personal sexy maid.
25:05You know, we really ought to update this uniform of yours.
25:09You look like a maid who just missed your retirement party.
25:14And while we're at it, I guess we'll throw in a personality upgrade too.
25:20Keep your hands to yourself.
25:23Stop talking to me.
25:25You see that right there?
25:27That's the attitude I like.
25:29Gives me flashbacks to when you threw that bullet at Jackson.
25:35Okay, am I missing something?
25:38I mean, aren't I the one who's supposed to give you orders?
25:42You do work for me, don't you?
25:45I don't care!
25:47You will respect me!
25:49Oh yeah?
25:50Yeah!
25:50What?
25:51What?
25:51How you take care of thatometer?
25:53Are you?
25:53I live in my life.
25:53No insurance leave, I quit my life.
25:53And so let me try and do it...
25:53And so.
25:53And so, let me know if it fits your own needs...
25:53Youesch feeling.
25:53And so going to beCorner's and I'm dealing everything now .
25:54You dinner here, but we'll do it on your hand.
25:54You
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