He Chose His Sister-in-law, Now He Begs for My love [Full Movie]

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He Chose His Sister-in-law, Now He Begs for My love

Transcript

00:00:00In 1861, all of Charleston, from the Battery Wharfs to the Ashley Plantations, knew the legend of my husband, Major

00:00:07Reed Ashford, the second son of the South's largest planter.

00:00:10They said, he was a man undone by his wife. For me, he would forfeit the world.

00:00:15When a planter's son humiliated me at a ball, Ryad disarmed him in a dawn duel, standing unflinningly before loaded

00:00:22barrels to defend my honor.

00:00:25When outlaws ambushed my carriage, Ryad braved deadly swamps alone, returning blood-splared at dawn to banish my fear of

00:00:34the dark.

00:00:38Forced into marriage to clear debts, Ryad bought my freedom with half his lands, then rode through a raging storm

00:00:46to snatch me from the altar.

00:00:49I believed I'd be happy forever, until his brother's bewidowed wife wanted to have a baby with him.

00:00:57Three years into our marriage, Rethi's elder brother Theodore Ashford lay wasting away.

00:01:02And an old Gungle root woman from the Sea Islands told the true mister of the house, Madam Ashford,

00:01:07that only a child born of the family's bloodline through the brother's wife could call him back from the grave.

00:01:12But the brother's wife? Camelia could not bear that child by a dying man.

00:01:17She would have to bear it by right. The matriarch's grip tightened on her othony cane.

00:01:23Send for my second son.

00:01:25A maid ran. The parlor doors closed closed upon a council of women.

00:01:30In the upstairs sitting room, I laid down my embroidery hoop.

00:01:33The needle had pricked my thumb, and a single bead of blood was rising on the skin.

00:01:38I watched it gather, fall, and stain the white linen of Rhee's monogrammed handkerchief,

00:01:44the one I had been mending for him all wintered her.

00:01:46The maid came rushing upstairs, breathless, one hand clutching the bairnister,

00:01:50as if she might collapse where she stood.

00:01:53Mrs. Eleanor, Madam Ashford has made her decision.

00:01:56She means for Mrs. Camille to bear the family heir by Mr. Raid.

00:02:00The room fell into a dead, suffocating silence.

00:02:03On my lap, the fresh bead of blood finally sank deep into the fabric,

00:02:08completely drowning Rhee's monogrammed initials in crimson.

00:02:11Camille? My sister-in-law?

00:02:14How could they be sending her to my husband's bed?

00:02:19Reed went from the parlor to the family chapel without removing his greatcoat.

00:02:23He laid his revolver at his own breastbone.

00:02:26As God is my witness, I would sooner die than betray Eleanor.

00:02:29The chaplain wept. The servants wept.

00:02:33Madam Ashford did not weep.

00:02:35She had me brought down to the courtyard in nothing but my mourning dress, barefoot,

00:02:38and made to stand upon the ice-stiffened gravel.

00:02:40Until my son can honor his brother's line, he will not move from this place.

00:02:44The first hour, my mind was clear.

00:02:47By the second, the cold had moved into my bones.

00:02:50By the fourth, the frost had split the soles of my feet,

00:02:52and thin red ravens crept across the gravel beneath me.

00:02:55I stood three days, no bread, no water.

00:02:57The January rain came down once and then turned to sleep and froze upon my shoulders.

00:03:01Madam Ashford set a chair beneath the Pianzo Colonnade and fought, and watched, and waited.

00:03:05A hundred yards away, in the family chapel,

00:03:08Reed had been locked in without food or water or a fire,

00:03:11forbidden to leave until he consented.

00:03:13His mother visited him each morning with the codicil papers in her hand.

00:03:17He bore the cold and the hunger in silence.

00:03:32He came across the flagstones with a slow, deliberate step,

00:03:35of a man not certain his legs would carry him to where he needed to go.

00:03:37The servants drew back from him as from something holy or contagionous.

00:03:41He stopped before me and knelt on the gravel at my feet.

00:03:43In his right hand was the service revolver.

00:03:45He held it out to me, but first.

00:03:47I have submitted to Mother's arrangement.

00:03:49If you despise me for it, end my life now.

00:03:51Shoot me dead.

00:03:52My lips were too cracked to part.

00:03:54I love you to madness, Eleanor.

00:03:56I cannot bear to see you broken and punished again because of me.

00:03:59The cold iron of the pistol bit into my palm, and the tears finally broke.

00:04:03But I would endure a thousand more lashes, Reed,

00:04:05before I ever watch you beget a child upon our sister-in-law.

00:04:07He squeezed my hand.

00:04:09The hammer fell.

00:04:10Blood flowered through the linen of his shirt.

00:04:12I screamed without sound.

00:04:14He staggered, white as bone, and let me gather him into my arms.

00:04:17I wept.

00:04:18I did not know how long.

00:04:20I kissed his face.

00:04:21That's the Reed.

00:04:22Fetch cloth and paragol.

00:04:24I begged the maids for clean cloth, for paraglant, for a surgeon.

00:04:27I swear this on the wound itself.

00:04:29I will lie with her once, for the child, and never look at her again.

00:04:32She is a stage actress from the New Orleans halls.

00:04:35A creature dredged up from the gas-lit gutters,

00:04:37whose virtue he was sold to the highest bidder long before she ever set foot in this house.

00:04:40She is nothing to me.

00:04:42He kissed my forehead,

00:04:44and walked, with the wound still wet,

00:04:47across the courtyard to Camille Ashford's wing.

00:04:49The household by sundown had a new story to whisper.

00:04:52Compared to Eleanor, Reed seemed to favor Camille more.

00:04:55You smell of her tears, right?

00:04:57But tonight you are mine.

00:04:59Then let me forget her.

00:05:00Touch me.

00:05:00Make me believe you are the only one.

00:05:03The maid who carried up the linen said the bedchamber smelled like a hot room.

00:05:06I lay alone in our bed with the deed of separation.

00:05:08I had so readily demanded some hours before.

00:05:11I wept until the ink ran.

00:05:14Sometime past midnight I rose,

00:05:15lit a candle in the sylvine chamber stack my mother had given me on my wedding day.

00:05:19The papers, still wet, I carried pressed against my breast.

00:05:21I stopped at the carved oak door of Camille's sitting room.

00:05:24The corridor behind me was empty of servants.

00:05:27Even the nightmaid had been dismissed.

00:05:29I raised my hand to knock,

00:05:31and heard, through the door, Camille's laugh.

00:05:33What she said next dragged me straight into hell.

00:05:38You are such a bad boy.

00:05:40Staging a whole shooting with a sack of bullock's blood in front of your own wife,

00:05:44making her weep over your corpse,

00:05:45and then you came straight here to me.

00:05:47She is sentimental.

00:05:49She believes what lives, whatever she has shown.

00:05:51All the obstacles have been cleared away.

00:05:53All theater.

00:05:54Mother and I arranged it months ago.

00:05:56The gongo woman was paid in gold the night before.

00:05:59The prophecy was written for her to recite.

00:06:01The cold, the chapel, the wound, every thread of it sown for you.

00:06:05A whole year of slipping into your rooms by the backstair.

00:06:09And now I am to be the lady of a wing.

00:06:12I would marry you twice over for it.

00:06:14Take what you want and ask for nothing more.

00:06:16Most of all, Eleanor is never to know.

00:06:18If she so much as suspects the truth,

00:06:20I will shoot you dead where you stand.

00:06:22The candle in my hand trembled.

00:06:24The light walked along the carved oak panels

00:06:26and the gild of the picture frames and would not be still.

00:06:30Bright, who for my sake has been sleeping with Camille for a whole year?

00:06:33Was every single bit of it just a lie?

00:06:35I took three steps backward, away from the door.

00:06:38On the fourth step, the floor was no longer there.

00:06:40I fell on the fourth step,

00:06:41hit the polished heart pine boards on my ruined feet and crumpled.

00:06:44The candlestick rolled away from me.

00:06:46The flame good old, caught upon my sleeve,

00:06:48smothered against the wool of my dress as I crumpled.

00:06:50I drifted for three days between sleeping and waking,

00:06:53unable to close the distance.

00:06:54In that place, Camille knelt beside the bed

00:06:56and held Madam Ashford's hand.

00:06:57I heard them as a swimmer hears voices above the water.

00:06:59She is with child, Mother Ashford.

00:07:01The root woman was certain.

00:07:04Only the child I bear can save Theodore.

00:07:06If Eleanor's child is born first, the cure is broken.

00:07:09My poor Theodore will die.

00:07:12Madam Ashford's cane struck the floor.

00:07:14Send her to a physician.

00:07:17I will not allow the child in her womb to affect my Theodore's destiny.

00:07:23Mother, stop!

00:07:25Those doctors are men.

00:07:26I will not have a man's hands upon her body.

00:07:28Not for any reason.

00:07:29A simple draught is enough to rid her of the child.

00:07:31I will give it to her myself.

00:07:38He came to the bedside.

00:07:40I felt his weight upon the mattress, the familiar dip of it.

00:07:43He lifted my head with a tenderness I remembered from a thousand mornings

00:07:46and held a small porcelain cup to my lips.

00:07:49I fought with everything in me to open my eyes,

00:07:51to scream, to beg him to spare my child,

00:07:53only to find, with a curching despair,

00:07:56that it was all in vain.

00:07:58The taste was bitter.

00:08:00Cloves.

00:08:01Penny hairy.

00:08:02The faint, hateful sweetness of Paragassic to mask the rest.

00:08:05My body knew the compound before my mind could name it.

00:08:08My fingers tried to close around his wrist.

00:08:11They were too weak.

00:08:12I felt the warmth of the drug spread out from my stomach into the cold parts of me.

00:08:15I felt the small, intricate thing inside me go quiet,

00:08:18then go still, then go away.

00:08:19Sleep now, Eleanor.

00:08:21Pretend this child never came.

00:08:23He laid my head back upon the pillow.

00:08:25He smoothed my hair.

00:08:26When I woke fully three mornings later, the chamber was empty.

00:08:30Brooke sat weeping at the foot of the bed.

00:08:31Raid, the maid said,

00:08:32had taken Madame Bowman down to New Orleans on the noon train

00:08:34to celebrate the coming air

00:08:35and to consult a city physician about Camille's own condition.

00:08:38I looked at the wash base.

00:08:39I washed my face in the cold basin.

00:08:42I dressed in black.

00:08:43I tied my hair back with a strip of morning croup.

00:08:46Then I walked the length of the corridor to Madame Ashford's morning room

00:08:50and asked with great courtesy for the deed of separation.

00:08:53I am more than willing to step aside for Camille and Wreath.

00:08:58I beg you, Madame, help me and make him sign the deed of separation.

00:09:02There is a steamer bound for Europe next month.

00:09:05You will take it and you will never set foot before my son again as long as you breathe

00:09:09to ensure there are no complications.

00:09:12Rack is to know absolutely nothing of this before you sail.

00:09:16You have my deepest gratitude, Madame,

00:09:18for finally granting my request.

00:09:23Read and Camille returned at dusk a fortnight later.

00:09:25The carriage rolled through the great gates of Ashford Manor in the failing light

00:09:29and the household lined up along the Live Oak Drive as for any homecoming.

00:09:32Camille descended first, gloved and radiant.

00:09:35Read followed.

00:09:36At her throat beneath the high lace collar was a livid mark she had not been able to powder away.

00:09:40The fortnight in New Orleans had left its mark on them both.

00:09:43Late suppers.

00:09:45Late mornings.

00:09:46The langui of those city rooms still clinging to their clothes.

00:09:50I stood waiting beneath the colonid piazza in my morning gown.

00:09:54Spanish moss stirring in the live oaks above me.

00:09:57The servants watched without seeming to.

00:10:00Read crossed the gravel and would have taken my hands.

00:10:02I did not give them.

00:10:04He pretended not to notice and produced instead,

00:10:07from the inner pocket of his great coat, a small dark glass bottle.

00:10:10A European tonic.

00:10:11Every fashionable lady in New Orleans is taking it.

00:10:13It restores the constitution after illness.

00:10:16Drink it from me.

00:10:17I accepted the bottle.

00:10:19The glass was warm from his body.

00:10:23I uncarked it.

00:10:24The smell rose.

00:10:25Wine and something darker beneath the wine.

00:10:27My Paris training spoke before my tongue could.

00:10:30Herba.

00:10:30Sustained doses of Herba of Rye.

00:10:32Masked in Chlora and Honeysuckle.

00:10:34A woman fed this compound through a winter would bleed quietly for the rest of her life.

00:10:39Not killed.

00:10:40Made permanently, invisibly ill.

00:10:42Made unfit to be touched by any man.

00:10:44Made nothing.

00:10:45Camille came up the steps in a hand at Reed's elbow.

00:10:48All the finest ladies in New Orleans are taking it, dear.

00:10:50Finish every drop.

00:10:52Do not be ungrateful.

00:10:53Not killed.

00:10:54Made permanently, invisibly ill.

00:10:56Right.

00:10:57This medicine.

00:10:58Must I drink it?

00:10:58He had already slaughtered my child with his own hands, severing every shred of love I once held for him.

00:11:04Was he truly intent on driving me into an early grave now?

00:11:07I looked at my husband.

00:11:09He met my gaze without lowering his own.

00:11:11There was a flicker behind his eyes.

00:11:14A thing he did not allow to surface.

00:11:16I raised the bottle.

00:11:18I drank it.

00:11:19I drank every drop.

00:11:20Slowly, while they watched me.

00:11:22While the cold January wind moved the dead Magnalia leaves across the Piansa boards.

00:11:26I lowered the empty bottle and set it on the Piazza rail between us.

00:11:30I know what this is.

00:11:32And I know what it does.

00:11:34We are done.

00:11:35Ride.

00:11:39Before I blacked out, I vaguely saw Reed panic.

00:11:43What do you mean, done?

00:11:46Before the darkness swallowed me whole, I learned the horrific truth from their whispers.

00:11:53They had traveled to New Orleans to consult a voodoo queen.

00:11:57The witch told them that if they used my bed, this our marriage bed, for seven secutive nights,

00:12:02the soul of my slaughtered child would be summoned back, reborn into Camille's womb.

00:12:07They took my room.

00:12:09They desecrated my bed.

00:12:12You are a cruel man, Raid.

00:12:14That tincture, taken for weeks, will ensure she bleeds dry from the inside out.

00:12:19Her body will wither, and no man will ever be able to lay a finger on her again.

00:12:24Poor, wretched Eleanor.

00:12:27Eleanor belongs to me.

00:12:29Even if I never touch her again, I would rather see her rot than let another man possess her.

00:12:35In my half-conscious state, hatred burned so hot that blood seeped from the cracked corner of my mouth.

00:12:45The next morning, not long after Reed and Camille departed, I woke.

00:12:50From my bed, I heard the maids quarreling in the courtyard below my window.

00:12:54She gave up her husband easy enough? Now she wants the South Wing on top of that?

00:12:57Some women cannot bear to be parted from a comfort.

00:12:59You watch your filthy tongue.

00:13:01My mistress has bled in this house every day since she crossed its threshold.

00:13:05She has paid for every stone of this place.

00:13:08The voices rose.

00:13:10There was a slap, a scream.

00:13:12Brooke, when she came up the stairs ten minutes later, had a red wheel across her cheek and a furious

00:13:16set to her mouth.

00:13:17She knelt at the foot of my bed.

00:13:19Miss Eleanor, I am going to the Elder Master.

00:13:22Mr. Theodore was always kind to you. He will hear me.

00:13:24Brooke, no!

00:13:25You are a free woman, but free papers do not stop a hand that means to fall.

00:13:28Brooke had her freedom papers.

00:13:29My mother had filed them with the city register the year Brooke turned twelve.

00:13:33It would not matter in this house.

00:13:35But Brooke was already gone.

00:13:36What happened by the lily pond I learned in pieces from the running of feet and the shrieking of women.

00:13:41Theodore was killed in the lake.

00:13:44Brooke had found Theodore in his bath chair on the South Spiena,

00:13:47taking the weak winter sun between the palmetto and the camellia head.

00:13:51She had knelt and began to speak.

00:13:53Camille had come down the terrace steps.

00:13:56Words had passed.

00:13:57Brooke had risen.

00:14:00Camille had pushed.

00:14:01Brooke had caught at Theodore's chair to keep her balance.

00:14:04And the chair had tilted, and the dying man had gone into the cold green water.

00:14:08They pulled him out.

00:14:10He was breathing, barely.

00:14:13He had not spoken.

00:14:15The estate manager came to my door with two armed groomses behind him.

00:14:19Madam, your maid is in irons.

00:14:21You are summoned to the Great Hall.

00:14:24I rose.

00:14:25I bound up my hair.

00:14:30I walked the long corridor without permitting myself to limp.

00:14:35I entered the Great Hall.

00:14:38The doorway was thick with physicians.

00:14:41Madam Ashford sat in the high chair before the hearth, her cane across her knees.

00:14:45Camille stood weeping against Rybe's shoulder, and his arm was around her waist as a husband's arm is around a

00:14:50wife.

00:14:50He stood with his arm around Camille and did not move.

00:14:53Madam Ashford lifted her cane and pointed.

00:14:57Seize the harlot from Charleston.

00:15:00She has tried to murder my eldest son.

00:15:04Two enormous housewomen seized my arms and forced me down.

00:15:08My ruined feet struck the marble.

00:15:10The skin Madam Ashford herself had split open three weeks before opened again through the wool of my stockings,

00:15:15and warm red blood ran across the white stone in two long ribbons.

00:15:21Reed moved at last.

00:15:23He crossed the hall in three strides and kicked the women aside.

00:15:27Get the hell away from her!

00:15:29No one, there's no, not a single soul, lays a fender on her!

00:15:34He bent and lifted me in his arms.

00:15:36For one suspended moment my cheek was against the rough wool of his coat and I could feel his heart

00:15:41fammering.

00:15:42Then Camille made a small herded sound behind him.

00:15:45Wright set me down upon a bench.

00:15:46He turned.

00:15:47He went to Camille and gathered her against him.

00:15:49Eleanor, you must apologize to my sister-in-law.

00:15:52The matter of the maid will be investigated afterwards.

00:15:54First, the apology.

00:15:56I pressed my bleeding wom flat upon the bench to steady myself.

00:15:59Brooke is a child.

00:16:00She has not the wickedness in her to push a dying man into water.

00:16:04Investigate first.

00:16:05Then I will speak whatever words are owed.

00:16:07Reed's jaw tightened.

00:16:08The apology first.

00:16:10No.

00:16:10A long silence.

00:16:12Madam Ashford's cane tapped the marble once.

00:16:15Then you will be confined to the penitence chamber until you find your tongue.

00:16:17The penitence chamber was where the household sent disobedient servants to be broken.

00:16:21It had a stone floor, no fire, one window so high a tall man could not reach it.

00:16:25I bent and unfastened my shoes.

00:16:26I stepped out of them.

00:16:27I pushed to my feet and walked across the great hall of Ashford Manor in my bare bleeding feet,

00:16:30past my husband, past the women, past the doctors,

00:16:33out the side door and across the snowy yard toward the brick outbuildings beyond the kitchen house.

00:16:37I left a line of small red prints behind me in the white.

00:16:40I walked the whole way to the penitence chamber on my own.

00:16:43The smell of pine smoke from the kitchen house followed me across the yard,

00:16:47and somewhere in a wall a mouse scratched, and I let those small things mark the distance.

00:16:50The bolt slid shut behind me.

00:16:52An hour later it slid open again.

00:16:54Camille stood in the doorway, in fresh silk and silver fox,

00:16:56with my river pearl strand around her throat.

00:16:58You are finally at my mercy, Eleanor.

00:17:00Just watch how I break you.

00:17:05And from the New Orleans papers who would not stop printing.

00:17:13I set it down here as it was told to me, for it was set in motion by my own

00:17:18hand.

00:17:19Every magnolia along the drive was wound with white silk.

00:17:22A small chamber orchestra hired up from Vanipun in the pre-Ode began the noon, at noon.

00:17:29Half the planter families between Savannah and Wellington had come,

00:17:34to see the rare thing,

00:17:36a second son taking up his dying brother's wife to continue a sacred southern line.

00:17:44Camille descended the great staircase,

00:17:48in the white lace I had stitched,

00:17:50and the ball whom drew in its breath as one body.

00:17:53A tenor Camille had retained from New Orleans began the song.

00:17:56Eleanor she had commissioned.

00:17:58Averse, Eleanor for her hardships.

00:18:00Averse for Reitz's devotion.

00:18:01Averse for the blessed child that would save Theodore Ashward from the grave.

00:18:05The Charleston ladies dabbed their eyes.

00:18:08Camille slipped her arm through Reitz,

00:18:10and tugged him toward the corridor.

00:18:16My stays are too tight.

00:18:19Help me, just for a moment.

00:18:22In her wing she pressed him against the silk wall,

00:18:25and reached for his belt.

00:18:28Reitz's gaze fell upon the gown.

00:18:30White, against her shoulders.

00:18:32White, the cut of the collar.

00:18:35White, the long trail across the park.

00:18:37A wedding dress.

00:18:38Almost his wedding dress.

00:18:40Almost the dress I had worn three Aprils ago,

00:18:42when he had stood before God and the General,

00:18:45and swore that rune no other woman would ever pass through the gate of his life.

00:18:50Something cold turned in his stomach.

00:18:53A footman pounded on the door.

00:18:55Master Raitt!

00:18:55Madam Eleanor is gone from the cottage!

00:18:57The watchgutty was sent away by her own order!

00:19:00And there is a box, sir!

00:19:01A locked box from Madam Eleanor!

00:19:03The guests have broken it open!

00:19:04Camille's hand froze upon his belt.

00:19:07Raitt took the corridor at a run.

00:19:08The ballroom had gone quiet in a way ballrooms never go quiet.

00:19:11A circle had formed around the long supper table.

00:19:13The lid of the dispatch box lay flung back.

00:19:15Across the white damage, fanned out like a winning hand of cards,

00:19:17lay a packet of letters in a woman's careless hand.

00:19:19A stack of jeweler's receipts paid by men who were not re-

00:19:22And a sheath of pages torn from hotel registers.

00:19:25Names signed in unsteady ink that were not her own.

00:19:28Reginald Thornton, whose father sat now on the Confederate War Department,

00:19:31picked up one of the letters between two gloved fingers,

00:19:33and read it aloud toward the lamps.

00:19:35My dearest Camille.

00:19:38The letter the Lutzen read was addressed to Camille Beaumont,

00:19:41care of the St. Charles Hotel, New Orleans,

00:19:44signed by a man with a famous name in the Mississippi cotton trade.

00:19:48It described in unfortunate detail.

00:19:51Eleanor what he intended to do to her the following Tuesday,

00:19:54and what he hoped she would do to him in return.

00:19:57Wright took the letter without speaking.

00:19:59He turned to the next,

00:20:01and the next,

00:20:03and the next.

00:20:04There were perhaps forty of them.

00:20:06Different men.

00:20:07Different rooms.

00:20:08The most recent dated to the previous month.

00:20:11There were hotel registers.

00:20:12Mobile, Memphis, New Orleans.

00:20:14Signed in names that were not hers.

00:20:16There were receipts from jewelers for pieces

00:20:18had never shown him.

00:20:20Wright drew his sidearm walking back through the corridor.

00:20:24He kicked open the door of her wing.

00:20:28He pressed the muzzle of the revolver to her forehead.

00:20:31You swore to me I was the first.

00:20:34You won, I preside here.

00:20:36They forced me.

00:20:38They forced me right...

00:20:39They forced you to sign your hotel register?

00:20:43They forced you to take the bracelets?

00:20:46I was a stage actress.

00:20:48You knew what I was.

00:20:49You knew you took me anyway!

00:20:53He fired past her ear.

00:20:55The bullet tore through the lope and buried in the bedpost.

00:21:00Her gay Camille screamed and clapped her hand to the side of her head.

00:21:04Blood ran between her fingers and down the white lace bodice.

00:21:07When I have found my wife,

00:21:08I will come back here and settle what is owed.

00:21:11Your Eleanor does not want you.

00:21:13She said you were soiled.

00:21:15She said you made her sick.

00:21:17She said it to me herself.

00:21:18Ray fired into the wall behind her and walked out.

00:21:21Madam Ashford stood at the head of the stairs with a folded paper.

00:21:26She is gone.

00:21:27She sailed on the morning package out of Charleston Harbor, bound for Havana.

00:21:32She begged me, on her ruined knees, to obtain your signature on this.

00:21:38Three weeks ago you signed it right.

00:21:41You signed without reading.

00:21:43I knew you would.

00:21:45The deed of separation.

00:21:47His own hand at the bottom of it.

00:21:51The notary's red wax.

00:21:54The witness's marks.

00:21:57He did not strike his mother.

00:21:59He did not speak.

00:22:00He walked down the great staircase, past the silent guests.

00:22:03He walked through the foyer, where the chandelier still blazed.

00:22:06He walked between the lines of stunned house servants.

00:22:09And out into the gravel drive, where the carriages waited.

00:22:13He did not stop at his horse.

00:22:15He did not stop at the gate.

00:22:17He walked out of Ashford Manor.

00:22:19And the gate stayed open behind him.

00:22:24Three days.

00:22:26Each afternoon I stood for an hour.

00:22:29At the upper window, just inside the heavy drape.

00:22:34Watching the roof lines opposite.

00:22:36I marked the alley between two chimneys.

00:22:40I marked the wash on a balcony four houses down, where a Creole woman beat her sheets at half past

00:22:46three each day.

00:22:47I marked the shadow of a tall iron lamp standard, whose curve I could use to navigate by, once I

00:22:53was below.

00:22:55I memorized the back stair from the kitchen to the slop yard.

00:23:00I counted the men.

00:23:07I timed the changing of the watch.

00:23:10Reed kept his word with effort.

00:23:12He did not touch me.

00:23:13He did not lift his voice.

00:23:14He bowed to me in passing.

00:23:17He sent up small offerings, a posy of hot tart violets, a string of New Orleans candies and wax paper,

00:23:22a French novel he had not himself read.

00:23:24I accepted them with the courtesy of a woman receiving condolence cards from a distant relation.

00:23:30He watched me with the desperation of a man who has begun to suspect his own house is on fire.

00:23:36Eleanor!

00:23:39On the third afternoon, he came up the back stair on stockinged feet.

00:23:43What are you looking at, Eleanor?

00:23:45I did not turn from the drape.

00:23:47Children.

00:23:48A boy and a girl.

00:23:49On the corner.

00:23:50They have set off three paper firecrackers since noon.

00:23:52I find I like the sound.

00:23:54It is almost spring.

00:23:55A pause.

00:23:56Well, perhaps you mistake gunfire for firecrackers.

00:23:58The war is closer than the ladies' papers say.

00:24:00Tell me, Eleanor.

00:24:01Did you mean firecrackers or did you mean a signal?

00:24:03I turned at last.

00:24:05A signal to whom, Rary?

00:24:08To Owen Hartfield.

00:24:10The name in his mouth.

00:24:11Spoken plain.

00:24:12He had known it for days then.

00:24:15His informants reached further than I had supposed.

00:24:19He crossed the room in two strides and took me by the throat and bore me back against the cold

00:24:24plain.

00:24:25Tell me you were not alone with him on that packet.

00:24:28Tell me he did not touch you.

00:24:31The pressure of his thumbs was steady, almost considered.

00:24:34My vision went red at the edges.

00:24:37I had no breath to deny anything with.

00:24:41I stopped fighting.

00:24:44I closed my eyes.

00:24:46If you hate me this much, kill me.

00:24:48I would rather die in this room than be carried back to Ashford Manor alive.

00:24:53His grip slackened.

00:25:03I slid down the wall to my knees.

00:25:07Eleanor.

00:25:09God forgive me.

00:25:10I lifted my face to his.

00:25:12Take me back to Charleston, Rary.

00:25:14I am too weary to fight you anymore.

00:25:18Take me home.

00:25:20He went very still.

00:25:23Then he lit up the way a boy lights up.

00:25:25You mean that?

00:25:26What?

00:25:27Eleanor, you mean it?

00:25:29I let my hand find his sleeve, briefly, as one bestows a final beniction.

00:25:34I am tired of being afraid of you.

00:25:37I am tired of being awake in this house.

00:25:40Take me back.

00:25:42Let me sit in the orinarium again.

00:25:45Let me see the magnolians bloom.

00:25:46He kissed the marks his own thumbs had made upon my throat.

00:25:49He kissed my hands.

00:25:51He apologized for things he did not yet have the vocabulary to apologize for.

00:25:55And I let him.

00:25:56Because his speech was buying me hours.

00:25:59We can leave by morning.

00:26:00I will send the trunks ahead by rail.

00:26:05I will ride before the carriage myself.

00:26:07No one will come within a hundred yards of you the whole road home.

00:26:11Right.

00:26:14Yes.

00:26:16There is one matter.

00:26:19Owen Hartfield is in this city.

00:26:23He sent a card to the front door yesterday.

00:26:26The footman returned it.

00:26:29He will try again.

00:26:33If we leave tomorrow with him still in New Orleans,

00:26:38I will spend the rest of my marriage

00:26:41waiting for the day you ride out to settle it.

00:26:45I cannot live that way.

00:26:50His jaw set.

00:26:52The color came back into his face all at once.

00:26:56Where is he?

00:27:00My maid heard from the laundress

00:27:03that he keeps rooms above a drugger's shop on Chartay Street.

00:27:09I do not know the number.

00:27:16The drug fist.

00:27:23The drug fist is a Mr. Devereux.

00:27:25I had invented the name.

00:27:27I had invented the street.

00:27:28I knew only that he would believe me

00:27:30because I had spoken the lie

00:27:31with the small reluctant catch

00:27:32of a woman betraying a man

00:27:33for the sake of a husband

00:27:34she had at last decided to keep.

00:27:36Reed drew up to his full height.

00:27:38The boy was gone from his face.

00:27:39The officer had returned.

00:27:41Stay in this room.

00:27:42Bolt the door behind me.

00:27:43I will be back before dark.

00:27:46He kissed the inside of my wrist,

00:27:48chastedly as a knight might,

00:27:49and went down the stair calling for his horse and his men.

00:27:53The townhouse emptied like a glass tipped over.

00:27:56I stood at the window until the last hoofbeat

00:27:58had turned the corner of Royal Street.

00:27:59Then I pulled on my traveling coat,

00:28:01picked up the small bundle I had been for three days

00:28:03and went down the back stair to the slop yard.

00:28:05The kitchen boy looked up.

00:28:06I pressed a silver dollar into his hand

00:28:08and stepped past him into the alley.

00:28:09The fog had not lifted all day.

00:28:11I kept to the lee of the buildings.

00:28:14I counted intersections by the tall iron lamp standards.

00:28:17I doubled twice and doubled again.

00:28:19A street that smelled of fish

00:28:21gave on to a street that smelled of horses

00:28:22gave on to a street that smelled of nothing

00:28:24but fog and old brick.

00:28:26Once I heard a clatter of hoofs at the head of a lane

00:28:28and pressed myself into a doorway

00:28:30with my hands flat against the brick.

00:28:32The riders went past at a gallop.

00:28:35Not Ray.

00:28:36Not yet.

00:28:41I knew I should be praying.

00:28:44I found I was counting instead.

00:28:48Counting the paces, counting the corners.

00:28:51Counting the seconds between my own breaths

00:28:53to keep them steady.

00:28:56The French Quarter folded around me

00:28:58like a maze drawn by a child.

00:29:02Galleries leaned out overhead.

00:29:05Worned iron cast complicated shadows.

00:29:08A drunk corail sang somewhere a half block away.

00:29:11A song trailing off into laughter and beginning again.

00:29:14I turned a corner and did not know the corner.

00:29:17I turned another and did not know that one either.

00:29:21The lamp standard I had been navigating by was gone.

00:29:24The wash on the balcony was gone.

00:29:26I could no longer hear hooves in any direction.

00:29:30I had escaped the townhouse.

00:29:32I was now entirely lost.

00:29:37A small panic began at the base of my throat

00:29:40and worked upward.

00:29:45I made myself stop at the next intersection.

00:29:49I set one gloved hand against the wall.

00:29:54I breathed three breaths.

00:29:56Behind me, in the close-walled alley I had just come out of,

00:29:59came a sound.

00:30:01Something between a cough and a long exhalation.

00:30:05Not the sound of a pursuer.

00:30:07Pursuers do not announce themselves with their lungs.

00:30:10I turned slowly.

00:30:12Owen Hartheill stood twelve feet behind me,

00:30:13one shoulder braced against the brick.

00:30:15His left arm hung at an angle.

00:30:16A bandage of his own neck cough had been wrapped around the upper sleeve.

00:30:18And blood had soaked it from black to red

00:30:20and from red to black again.

00:30:21His face was the color of unquached linen at me.

00:30:22His mouth moved.

00:30:23He tried for a smile and reached only the first part of one.

00:30:25I have found you at last.

00:30:29I went to him without thought.

00:30:31My hands were on the bandage.

00:30:35Before I remembered I'd been afraid of strangers in alleys for a week.

00:30:43Sit down.

00:30:45Sit down before you fall.

00:30:48There is no time.

00:30:49My men have drawn the bulk of his company.

00:30:52Towards Chartay Street.

00:30:54We have perhaps an hour before he understands.

00:30:56He has been sent the wrong way.

00:30:58He took my elbow with his good hand

00:31:00and guided me,

00:31:01walking unsteadily,

00:31:03deeper into the warren.

00:31:05He knew the lanes.

00:31:07He had grown up in these lanes.

00:31:10At each turn he chose the narrower of the two.

00:31:13I think you came after me.

00:31:15I made inquiries when they two took you from the packet.

00:31:18I learned what kind of man,

00:31:20your kind of man,

00:31:21your husband had become.

00:31:22I judged you would want assistance.

00:31:24I did not ask leave to investigate

00:31:26your private affairs.

00:31:28If that offends you,

00:31:29you may reproach me

00:31:30when we are out of the city.

00:31:35I am not offended.

00:31:37Then save your breath

00:31:39for the walking.

00:31:43A mile out past the last

00:31:45of the lamplit streets

00:31:46where the brick gave way to weeds

00:31:48and a few burnt cottages

00:31:50stood derelict on the river road.

00:31:52He stopped at a doorless cabin

00:31:54and let himself fall

00:31:56against its inner wall.

00:31:58The cabin was bare.

00:32:00A rotted pallet,

00:32:01a cold hearth,

00:32:03a tin cup,

00:32:04a smell of mice.

00:32:07I lit a small fire

00:32:08with the flint Owen carried

00:32:09in his coat.

00:32:11I unwrapped the bandage.

00:32:14The pistol bell had passed

00:32:16clean through the meat

00:32:17of the upper arm.

00:32:19The bleeding had slowed

00:32:20because the man had run out

00:32:21of blood to give.

00:32:23He was beginning to shake

00:32:25with fever.

00:32:28I cleaned the wound

00:32:30with the water in the tin cup

00:32:31and the spirits in his flask.

00:32:35I rebound it

00:32:36with strips torn

00:32:37from the lining

00:32:37of my petticoat.

00:32:39Owen endured the work

00:32:40without sound,

00:32:41watching the fire.

00:32:44Outside,

00:32:44somewhere far off

00:32:45across the river,

00:32:46a barge horn

00:32:46lowed twice

00:32:47and was answered.

00:32:48The cold came down

00:32:49hard with the dark.

00:32:50I gave him my traveling coat.

00:32:52He refused it.

00:32:53I told him not to be foolish.

00:32:54He accepted.

00:32:55I sat against the wall

00:32:56beside him,

00:32:57the coat spread

00:32:58across us both.

00:32:58His temperature came

00:32:59through the thin lawn

00:33:00of my dress

00:33:01like the heat

00:33:01from the stove.

00:33:02My own body,

00:33:04half starved and frozen

00:33:05for three days,

00:33:06drank it greatly.

00:33:07I had not been so close

00:33:09to another body

00:33:09since the night rake

00:33:10had stood up from my bed

00:33:11and dressed in front of me

00:33:12while Camille watched.

00:33:16I braced for the old nausea.

00:33:18None came.

00:33:19The man beside me

00:33:21was running a clean fever.

00:33:22The kind of fever

00:33:24the body uses

00:33:25to keep itself alive

00:33:26and his shoulder

00:33:27was steady.

00:33:31I did not mean to sleep.

00:33:33I slept.

00:33:35I slept.

00:33:36It was the first

00:33:36true sleep

00:33:37I had known

00:33:38since the cold gravel

00:33:39of the Ashford courtyard.

00:33:42I slept without dreaming.

00:33:44I came up out of it slowly

00:33:45into thin gray light

00:33:47at the doorless threshold.

00:33:49The coat was tucked

00:33:50under my chin.

00:33:51The shoulder I had slept

00:33:53against was gone.

00:33:54I sat up.

00:33:55The fire was a circle

00:33:56of cold ash.

00:33:57The cabin was empty,

00:33:59though.

00:33:59He had thought better of it

00:34:01in the end.

00:34:01He had perhaps left

00:34:02for a town with proper physicians

00:34:04and that was sensible

00:34:05and I had no right

00:34:06whatever to feel

00:34:07the small private drop

00:34:08in my chest.

00:34:09I had been alone before.

00:34:10I would be alone again.

00:34:12I had my coat.

00:34:14I had my purse

00:34:15sewn into the hem.

00:34:16I had the deed of separation

00:34:17buttoned at my breast.

00:34:18I stood.

00:34:19I straightened my hair.

00:34:21I walked to the cold fire

00:34:22and addressed it

00:34:23the way a woman

00:34:24addresses a grave.

00:34:25Owen Hartfield.

00:34:26Goodbye.

00:34:27I turned to go.

00:34:29He was standing

00:34:30in the doorway

00:34:30with a hair

00:34:31across his good arm.

00:34:33He had cleaned it already

00:34:34at some pond

00:34:35I could not see

00:34:36and his shirt sleeves

00:34:37were red to the elbows

00:34:38and his face

00:34:40under the fever clutch

00:34:40was breaking into

00:34:41something embarrassed

00:34:42and pleased.

00:34:45I woke hungry.

00:34:47There was a snare

00:34:48at the edge

00:34:48of the cane break.

00:34:51I did not wish

00:34:52to wake you.

00:34:57I thought...

00:34:58I know what you thought.

00:34:59A small silence.

00:35:01He looked away first.

00:35:03I wanted to be quick

00:35:04about it.

00:35:05I knew you would have

00:35:05woken thinking

00:35:06the worst

00:35:06and I would have

00:35:06deserved it

00:35:07for leaving

00:35:07without a word.

00:35:08What he did not say

00:35:09I knew because

00:35:10I have been watching

00:35:11over you since before

00:35:12you could lift

00:35:13your head from a pillow.

00:35:14He crouched at the hearth

00:35:15and laid the hair

00:35:16on a flat stone.

00:35:17He looked entirely

00:35:18competent at the work.

00:35:20His good hand

00:35:20made up for the other.

00:35:21I went out to the well

00:35:22behind the cabin

00:35:23and brought water.

00:35:24We built up the fire.

00:35:25He spitted the loins

00:35:27on a stripped sapling.

00:35:29He set the bones

00:35:30to boil in a chipped

00:35:31earthen pot

00:35:32he found in the kitchen

00:35:33corner with a colony

00:35:34of woodlights in it.

00:35:36Half an hour later

00:35:37we were eating

00:35:38roasted hair

00:35:38with our fingers

00:35:39and drinking the broth

00:35:41from the same tin cup

00:35:42passed between us.

00:36:02We traveled the coast road

00:36:04in a hired buckford

00:36:05with two of Owen's men

00:36:07riding ahead and two behind

00:36:08all of them in dark

00:36:09unmarked coats.

00:36:10The road scurred the swamps

00:36:12where the live oaks

00:36:13dropped their long beards

00:36:14of mosh

00:36:15and the eaglin stood

00:36:16like white stitchwork

00:36:17in the green.

00:36:20By the second night

00:36:21we had crossed

00:36:22into Mississippi.

00:36:23By the fourth

00:36:24we were in Mambil

00:36:25taking rooms

00:36:26above a respectable

00:36:27boarding house

00:36:28off Government Street

00:36:29with the gulf wind

00:36:31smelling of salt

00:36:32at the windows.

00:36:33New Year's Eve

00:36:34found us at a small

00:36:35private table

00:36:35in the front pallor

00:36:36of the house

00:36:37a steaming earthen pot

00:36:38of chicken

00:36:38and red pepper

00:36:39between us.

00:36:40A jambalaya

00:36:40the land 80

00:36:41had made up special.

00:36:42Owen's color

00:36:43had come back.

00:36:44His arm was

00:36:45in a clean sling.

00:36:46This is the best

00:36:47New Year's supper

00:36:47I can remember.

00:36:48He spoke of his family

00:36:50then, slowly,

00:36:51without bitterness.

00:36:53His mother,

00:36:54the first wife.

00:36:56His father,

00:36:57who had taken

00:36:57a stage actress

00:36:58as his mistress

00:36:59and then,

00:37:00after his wife's death,

00:37:02raised the mother

00:37:03of his second household.

00:37:05Owen had been

00:37:06the unwanted son

00:37:07who would not

00:37:08stop being clever.

00:37:10Paris had been

00:37:11a place to study

00:37:12and also a place

00:37:13to be out of the house.

00:37:15Every Christmas,

00:37:17every New Year,

00:37:18I have thought,

00:37:19what would it be

00:37:20if my mother

00:37:20were still living?

00:37:22My mother died

00:37:23when I was three.

00:37:25I do not remember

00:37:26her face,

00:37:28but I think

00:37:30a mother wishes

00:37:31her child

00:37:31to be happy.

00:37:34If she could see you now,

00:37:35she would be glad

00:37:36of you.

00:37:38He set down

00:37:39his spoon.

00:37:40Your mother said

00:37:41exactly that

00:37:42to me once.

00:37:47I looked up.

00:37:49The room rearranged itself

00:37:51by a small degree.

00:37:52Our families did business

00:37:54together

00:37:54before you were born.

00:37:55My mother kept

00:37:56the apathy trade

00:37:57in New Orleans

00:37:58and yours kept

00:37:59the physician's compound

00:38:00in Charleston.

00:38:01We were one of

00:38:02her largest accounts.

00:38:04When you were

00:38:05a few weeks old,

00:38:05my mother brought me

00:38:06to Charleston

00:38:06to visit your house.

00:38:08I could not speak.

00:38:11Owen reached

00:38:12into the frest

00:38:12of his coat

00:38:13with his good hand

00:38:14and brought out

00:38:15a small object

00:38:16on a fine gold chain.

00:38:18A cameo.

00:38:20Pale shell

00:38:21on a coral ground

00:38:23set in a worked gold frame

00:38:25the size of a thumbprint.

00:38:27The clasp

00:38:28was a child's clasp.

00:38:30He laid it

00:38:31in my palm.

00:38:36I gave you this

00:38:37when you were

00:38:37one month old.

00:38:39I put it around

00:38:40your neck myself.

00:38:41I asked my mother

00:38:42whether I might

00:38:43have a little sister

00:38:44and she said

00:38:45you were not mine

00:38:46to have

00:38:46but that I might

00:38:48still wish good things

00:38:49upon you.

00:38:50I wished them.

00:38:53I have been wishing

00:38:54them for you

00:38:55ever since.

00:38:59I closed my hand

00:39:00around the cameo.

00:39:01The metal was warmer

00:39:02than metal should have been.

00:39:04I could not look at him.

00:39:08I have a jade locket

00:39:09from my infancy.

00:39:11My father said

00:39:12an old friend

00:39:12of my mother's

00:39:13gave it to me.

00:39:14He never named

00:39:15the friend.

00:39:15I have kept it

00:39:16in a bank vault

00:39:17in Charleston

00:39:18for nine years.

00:39:19It was meant for you.

00:39:21So is this.

00:39:25Outside,

00:39:26the bells

00:39:26of the Catholic Church

00:39:27began the midnight preel

00:39:29across the harbor

00:39:30somewhere out on the water

00:39:32a steam whistle answered.

00:39:36The new year

00:39:37was coming in

00:39:38over Mobile Bay

00:39:39with the smell

00:39:40of brine

00:39:40and tar

00:39:41and orange peel.

00:39:44Word had reached us

00:39:46that afternoon

00:39:46by a Hartwell courier.

00:39:49Ride Ashford

00:39:50had threatened

00:39:51the family.

00:39:53He had said publicly

00:39:54in a New Orleans

00:39:56drawing room

00:39:57that he would

00:39:58put a ball

00:39:58into Owen Hart

00:39:59on site.

00:40:00The Hartwells of

00:40:02Mobile

00:40:03and the Hartwells

00:40:04of New Orleans

00:40:06had received the threat

00:40:07with the calm

00:40:08of merchants

00:40:08who had outlasted

00:40:10three generations

00:40:10of louder men.

00:40:14Owen at the table

00:40:15was unconcerned.

00:40:18He has made enemies

00:40:19in too many

00:40:20of the military families.

00:40:24His grandfather

00:40:25will not protect

00:40:26him much longer.

00:40:28The old general

00:40:29is a careful officer

00:40:30and Reed has stopped

00:40:31being careful.

00:40:33The Hartwells

00:40:34are not afraid

00:40:35of the Ashfolds.

00:40:37He looked at me

00:40:39directly across the lamp.

00:40:41With me here,

00:40:42Eleanor,

00:40:43whatever meth

00:40:44he employs,

00:40:45I will not allow him

00:40:47to take you.

00:40:50My heartbeat

00:40:51was loud

00:40:52in my own ears.

00:40:54I did not trust

00:40:55my voice.

00:40:57I looked instead

00:40:58at the cameo

00:40:58in my palm.

00:40:59A pounding

00:41:00at the front door

00:41:00of the house.

00:41:01The landlady's voice

00:41:02raised in startled protest.

00:41:04A boy's voice

00:41:05young breathlin urgent

00:41:05overcoming her.

00:41:06Owen rose.

00:41:07I rose with him.

00:41:08The boy was a telegraph runner

00:41:09from the Confederate

00:41:10command office.

00:41:11He had pelted

00:41:12three blocks in the dark

00:41:13with the wire

00:41:13still warm in his ca-

00:41:14Mr. Hartwells,

00:41:16sir,

00:41:16word from up the river.

00:41:17The Yankees

00:41:18have moved

00:41:18on the Vicksburg line.

00:41:20Heavy engagement

00:41:21at Champions Hill.

00:41:22Field of surgeons

00:41:23are wanted

00:41:24by every hospital

00:41:25between here and Jackson.

00:41:27The mobile draft

00:41:28leaves on the morning train.

00:41:29Owen took the telegram.

00:41:31He read it once.

00:41:32He folded it in half

00:41:33with his good hand.

00:41:35He looked across

00:41:36the table at me.

00:41:37The war they had been

00:41:38speaking of

00:41:39as a thing

00:41:39happening elsewhere

00:41:40had crossed the room

00:41:42and laid its hand

00:41:43upon the cloth

00:41:43between us.

00:41:44I closed my fingers

00:41:46around the cameo

00:41:47until the gold edge

00:41:48bit my palm.

00:41:55Outside,

00:41:56the church bells

00:41:57had not finished

00:41:57ringing in the new year.

00:42:00Mobile's depot platform

00:42:01was crowded

00:42:01with men in fresh gray.

00:42:03Mothers pressed

00:42:03handkerchiefs

00:42:04into the hands of sons

00:42:04who had not yet learned

00:42:05no one would use them.

00:42:06Owen wore the dark coat

00:42:07of a contract surgeon.

00:42:08His medical sashel

00:42:09slung at his hip,

00:42:09his sling at last discarded.

00:42:11The arms still pained him

00:42:11in damp weather.

00:42:12He had not mentioned it.

00:42:13I walked beside him

00:42:13with my blend

00:42:14going from this carriage.

00:42:15Atlanta first.

00:42:16The Hartwields

00:42:17in Decorder

00:42:17will receive you.

00:42:19Stay above

00:42:19Pechtum Street.

00:42:20Do not write me

00:42:21where you can be traced.

00:42:24I have heard you

00:42:25the first three times.

00:42:30I will write

00:42:31to the Decor address.

00:42:33If a letter arrives

00:42:34that does not sound

00:42:35like me,

00:42:36burn it.

00:42:38He has copied

00:42:38my hand before.

00:42:41I will burn it.

00:42:45The conductor

00:42:45walked the line

00:42:46of cars with his bell.

00:42:47A boy ahead of us

00:42:48in a corporal's stripes

00:42:49wept openly

00:42:50into his sweetheart's bonnet

00:42:51and no one looked.

00:42:52Owen turned me

00:42:53toward him by the elbows.

00:42:54You will be safer

00:42:55in Atlanta

00:42:55than anywhere I could put you.

00:42:57The Hartwoods of Decade

00:42:58are very quiet people.

00:42:59They will treat you

00:42:59as a daughter.

00:43:00You said once

00:43:01you would stay with me

00:43:01wherever I went.

00:43:03I said that

00:43:04and I meant it.

00:43:05I am sorry.

00:43:05Do not be sorry.

00:43:06Be careful.

00:43:07Be careful in a way

00:43:07you have not been before.

00:43:09Eat.

00:43:09Sleep when you are

00:43:10given the chance to sleep.

00:43:11Don't stand where

00:43:12the powder wagons are hitched.

00:43:13Don't ride into anything

00:43:14you can't ride out.

00:43:15Mrs. Hartwell.

00:43:18I lifted my face.

00:43:21He kissed me on the forehead

00:43:22in plain view of the platform

00:43:24and did not flush.

00:43:27Around us the band

00:43:28changed hymns.

00:43:32I boarded.

00:43:33He walked the length

00:43:34length of the car

00:43:34as it began to move

00:43:35then jobbed a few paces

00:43:37then stopped.

00:43:38his good hand

00:43:39raised to his hat.

00:43:42I pressed my palm

00:43:44to the glass.

00:43:46The platform shrunk.

00:43:48The gulf wind

00:43:49took him.

00:43:50The country between us

00:43:52widened until

00:43:53I could not see

00:43:54his coat in the crowd.

00:43:56Then I sat

00:43:58down very straight

00:43:59and put

00:44:00hands in my lap.

00:44:06A year of war

00:44:08taught me the names

00:44:08of bones

00:44:09I had only read

00:44:10in Paris.

00:44:12I completed

00:44:13my additional training

00:44:14under a decatur

00:44:15surgeon.

00:44:16A quayer

00:44:17who took female

00:44:18students because

00:44:19the men had gone

00:44:20north or south.

00:44:21I earned my own

00:44:22bag of instruments.

00:44:24I earned the right

00:44:25to be called

00:44:26by my surname

00:44:27in a corridor.

00:44:31When the call

00:44:31came for

00:44:32volunteer surgeons

00:44:33at Vicksburg

00:44:33I put my name

00:44:35on the list.

00:44:37The Quaker

00:44:38did not try

00:44:39to dissuade me.

00:44:48He shook my hand

00:44:50instead.

00:44:52The field hospital

00:44:53at Vicksburg

00:44:54was a converted

00:44:55brick warehouse

00:44:56three blocks

00:44:57from the Mississippi.

00:44:58The wards

00:44:59had been set up

00:45:00Eleanor

00:45:00between rows

00:45:01of cotton bales.

00:45:02The smell

00:45:03of calanfeme

00:45:04and rot

00:45:04could not be

00:45:05covered by anything.

00:45:07I had been

00:45:08at my post

00:45:08nine hours.

00:45:12When Ayak 3

00:45:13I came down

00:45:14the corridor

00:45:15with a tray

00:45:16of clean linen

00:45:16and saw a man

00:45:18at the far end

00:45:19speaking with a colleague.

00:45:22His left arm

00:45:23hung at his side.

00:45:25Blood had soaked

00:45:26through the makeshift

00:45:27bandage

00:45:28and was falling

00:45:29drop by patient

00:45:31drop

00:45:33onto the boards.

00:45:39I knew the line

00:45:40of the shoulders

00:45:40before I knew

00:45:42the face.

00:45:50Dr. Hartworth

00:45:51he turned.

00:45:55He went still

00:45:56for an instant

00:45:58longer than

00:45:59a man should.

00:46:04He tried

00:46:05to draw

00:46:05the arm

00:46:06behind him.

00:46:07I walked

00:46:08the length

00:46:08of the corridor

00:46:10without slowing.

00:46:18I set down

00:46:19the tray.

00:46:20I lifted

00:46:21the arm.

00:46:22The flesh

00:46:23of his upper hand

00:46:24had been opened

00:46:25not by a bullet

00:46:26but by a blade.

00:46:27The cut

00:46:28was three millimeters

00:46:29from the tendon.

00:46:29White bone

00:46:30showed at the bed

00:46:31of it.

00:46:33Whoever

00:46:33had drawn

00:46:34the knife

00:46:35had known

00:46:35exactly where

00:46:36to draw.

00:46:37The colleague

00:46:38at Owen's elbow

00:46:39cleared his throat.

00:46:39The wound

00:46:40was given him

00:46:40this morning

00:46:41by a Confederate

00:46:42officer named

00:46:43Ashford.

00:46:43The siege

00:46:44has not yet

00:46:45closed in.

00:46:46He came through

00:46:46the lines

00:46:46in civilian clothes

00:46:47and walked

00:46:48out the same way.

00:46:50Dr. Hartworth

00:46:50will not let me

00:46:51write the report.

00:46:52Sit down,

00:46:53Doctor.

00:46:53I threaded

00:46:54the suture needle.

00:46:55My hands

00:46:56were entirely still.

00:46:58Behind me,

00:46:59on the cotton buns,

00:47:00a private moaned

00:47:00for his mother.

00:47:01Outside,

00:47:02a battery

00:47:03somewhere south

00:47:03of the river

00:47:04opened,

00:47:05and the windows

00:47:05rattled gently

00:47:06in their frames.

00:47:07I closed the wound

00:47:08with thirty-one

00:47:08stitches,

00:47:09each placed

00:47:10as if for an

00:47:11examination.

00:47:12I washed

00:47:12the hand.

00:47:13I splinted

00:47:14the fingers

00:47:14so the tendon

00:47:15could rest.

00:47:16I bound

00:47:16the dressing

00:47:17in clean linen

00:47:18and tied it

00:47:19with the small

00:47:19even knot

00:47:20I had taught

00:47:20myself in Paris.

00:47:22Owen watched

00:47:23me the whole time.

00:47:24He did not speak

00:47:25until I had set

00:47:26the last pin.

00:47:27You should not

00:47:28be here.

00:47:31That is curious.

00:47:33I was thinking

00:47:34the same of you.

00:47:37He has men

00:47:38in this city.

00:47:39The siege

00:47:39has not yet closed.

00:47:40He walked

00:47:40into the hospital

00:47:41in civilian clothes

00:47:42this morning.

00:47:42He found me

00:47:43at the druggist

00:47:44on Cherry Street.

00:47:45He drew a bowie

00:47:46knife across my hand

00:47:47because he could

00:47:48not bring himself

00:47:48to put a ball

00:47:49into me

00:47:49in the open street.

00:47:50I think he meant

00:47:51to leave me a crypt.

00:47:52I cut the thread.

00:47:54You should go up

00:47:55river, Memphis,

00:47:56Kaido,

00:47:56anywhere he cannot

00:47:57follow.

00:47:58I cannot leave.

00:47:58The hospital

00:47:59is short

00:47:59three surgeons.

00:48:00I will not

00:48:00desert it.

00:48:01As for you,

00:48:02Eleanor,

00:48:03get on the next

00:48:03northbound train.

00:48:05I will see you

00:48:06to the platform

00:48:07myself.

00:48:10I rinsed my hands

00:48:11in the basin.

00:48:13The water

00:48:14clouded pink.

00:48:19No.

00:48:21Eleanor.

00:48:22I am staying.

00:48:24I am staying

00:48:25to look after you.

00:48:27And I am going

00:48:28to finish the conversation

00:48:29I should have finished

00:48:30in his mother's parlor

00:48:31three years ago.

00:48:33It has gone on

00:48:34long enough.

00:48:35I dried my hands

00:48:36on the towel

00:48:36at my belt.

00:48:38I will send him

00:48:39a note tonight.

00:48:40I will invite him

00:48:41to dinner.

00:48:42He will come.

00:48:46He has not yet

00:48:47learned how to refuse

00:48:48me anything

00:48:48I phrase as an invitation.

00:48:51Owen sat very

00:48:52still on the cot.

00:48:55His bandaged hand

00:48:56rested in his lap

00:48:58like something

00:48:59he no longer

00:49:00recognized.

00:49:02Eleanor,

00:49:03he will not let you

00:49:04walk out of that room.

00:49:05He will.

00:49:08Because I will be

00:49:09the one who decides

00:49:11when the door opens.

00:49:15I picked up the tray

00:49:17and went to wash

00:49:18the instruments.

00:49:20The restaurant

00:49:21stood on a quieter

00:49:22street in town,

00:49:23well behind the

00:49:24Confederate lines

00:49:24and outside the reach

00:49:25of the federal guns.

00:49:27The siege had not yet

00:49:28closed its fist.

00:49:30Officers in gray

00:49:31still took supper

00:49:31there in the evenings

00:49:32without inquiry.

00:49:33I chose a table

00:49:35near the window.

00:49:37Reed arrived

00:49:37in clean gray

00:49:38hat in hand.

00:49:40A year apart

00:49:41and he had thinned.

00:49:43The boy light

00:49:44in his face

00:49:44had gone.

00:49:45What remained

00:49:46was harder

00:49:46and in a certain

00:49:47light handsomer

00:49:48for it the way

00:49:49a worn coin

00:49:50reads more clearly.

00:49:51He stopped

00:49:51six feet short

00:49:52of the table.

00:49:53Eleanor.

00:49:54Sit down, Reed.

00:49:58He sat.

00:49:59He could not

00:50:00stop his eyes

00:50:01from moving

00:50:01across my face.

00:50:03I have sent

00:50:04Camille away.

00:50:05After Theodore died

00:50:06I had the child

00:50:07taken from her

00:50:09and I had her

00:50:10sent to a house

00:50:10in New Orleans

00:50:11I will not name

00:50:12in your hearing.

00:50:13My mother

00:50:13is at the General's.

00:50:14I set down my knife.

00:50:15I rose.

00:50:16I set my hands

00:50:17at the hem of my dress

00:50:18and lifted it slowly

00:50:19a single inch

00:50:19at a time

00:50:20to the knee.

00:50:21The scars stood pale

00:50:22against the candlelit linen.

00:50:23Two long ridges

00:50:24and a constellation

00:50:24of smaller ones

00:50:25the color of old ivory.

00:50:26The skin around them

00:50:27still rough

00:50:27where the cold

00:50:28and the gravel

00:50:28had taken me

00:50:28down to the joint.

00:50:29I let him look.

00:50:30I let the table

00:50:31near us look.

00:50:32I let the moment sit.

00:50:34Every time it rains

00:50:35the bone aches

00:50:35inside the joint.

00:50:36Paris physician

00:50:37who examined me

00:50:37last spring

00:50:38believes that one day

00:50:39I will not walk.

00:50:39You did not send

00:50:40for a doctor.

00:50:41You did not ask

00:50:41whether I was in pain.

00:50:42While I stood

00:50:43in your courtyard

00:50:43you were in her bed.

00:50:44I lowered the hem.

00:50:46That is what

00:50:46your love cost.

00:50:47Now tell me again

00:50:48what it is worth.

00:50:50Reit opened his mouth.

00:50:52No sound came.

00:50:54Reit found his voice

00:50:55at last

00:50:56and it was not

00:50:57the voice

00:50:58I had expected.

00:50:59It was the voice

00:51:00of a man

00:51:01who had rehearsed

00:51:02a speech

00:51:03in the saddle

00:51:04for a hundred miles.

00:51:06I am flesh

00:51:07and blood

00:51:08Eleanor.

00:51:09No man

00:51:10is faultless.

00:51:12Why must you

00:51:13weigh a single error

00:51:14against every year

00:51:15I gave you?

00:51:17I laughed

00:51:18not cruelly

00:51:19only with the small

00:51:19helpless astonishment

00:51:20of a woman

00:51:21who has finally

00:51:21been told the size

00:51:22of the room

00:51:22she stood in.

00:51:23A single error.

00:51:25You have pursued

00:51:26Owen Hartwell

00:51:27across two states

00:51:28for a year.

00:51:29You opened his hand

00:51:30this morning

00:51:31with a knife.

00:51:32You have ridden

00:51:33with a woman

00:51:33in your column

00:51:34the whole of that year

00:51:35and I have heard her name

00:51:36from three different mouths.

00:51:37We are no longer

00:51:38married, Riot.

00:51:40I signed the deed

00:51:41of separation

00:51:42in your mother's hand

00:51:42the morning I left Charleston.

00:51:44The Alabama legislature

00:51:45dissolved what was left

00:51:46of the bond

00:51:47by special act

00:51:47in the spring.

00:51:48I owe you

00:51:49nothing further.

00:51:50I am permitted

00:51:51to find another life.

00:51:52You apparently

00:51:53are held

00:51:53to no standard

00:51:54of any kind.

00:51:55I see it last.

00:51:56I stepped back

00:51:57from the table.

00:51:58Riot caught my wrist.

00:52:00I looked

00:52:01at his hand

00:52:02on my arm

00:52:03the way a person

00:52:04looks at something

00:52:05she intends

00:52:05to remove

00:52:06from her clothing.

00:52:07He let go.

00:52:08I came with

00:52:09one small hope

00:52:10left in me.

00:52:11I should have

00:52:12known better.

00:52:13I will not

00:52:14see you again.

00:52:16I turned

00:52:17for the door.

00:52:18I am a man

00:52:19with blood

00:52:19in his veins.

00:52:20If you mean

00:52:21to make me

00:52:22a stranger.

00:52:23Eleanor

00:52:24I will not

00:52:24stay civil.

00:52:26Do you hear me?

00:52:26I will not

00:52:27stay civil.

00:52:28I did not turn.

00:52:30I crossed

00:52:31the dining room.

00:52:32I passed

00:52:33the rack

00:52:33of officers'

00:52:34hats.

00:52:35I pushed

00:52:36open the door

00:52:37into the cold

00:52:37November street

00:52:38and walked out

00:52:39without looking back.

00:52:42Behind me

00:52:43glass broke.

00:52:44A heavy table

00:52:46went over.

00:52:47Voices rose.

00:52:49Someone called

00:52:50for the proprietor.

00:52:51A chair

00:52:52struck a wall.

00:52:54I did not

00:52:55stop.

00:52:57I walked

00:52:58the four blocks

00:52:58to the hospital

00:52:59with my hands

00:53:00tucked into my

00:53:00sleeves

00:53:01to keep them

00:53:02from shaking.

00:53:04The cold air

00:53:05burned my throat

00:53:06clean.

00:53:06A barge horn

00:53:08lowed on the river.

00:53:09Above the chimneys

00:53:10the sky was the

00:53:11color of beaten tin

00:53:12and the first stars

00:53:13were coming up

00:53:14clear and small

00:53:15over the bluffs.

00:53:16I came up

00:53:17the hospital

00:53:17stair and stopped

00:53:18at the head

00:53:18of the corridor.

00:53:19Owen stood

00:53:19with his back

00:53:20to me in the

00:53:20lamplight,

00:53:21his banded hand

00:53:21held against

00:53:21his coat.

00:53:22A young woman

00:53:22in the gray

00:53:23apron of a

00:53:23Sisters of Mercy

00:53:24volunteer faced

00:53:24him, color high

00:53:25in her cheeks,

00:53:26speaking too

00:53:26quickly.

00:53:27Dr. Adelaine Pierce,

00:53:28the Atlanta girl,

00:53:29two weeks at the

00:53:29post and already

00:53:30a tongue too

00:53:30quick for her

00:53:31boots.

00:53:32I did not know

00:53:33what rose in my

00:53:34chest then.

00:53:36It was sharper

00:53:37than anything

00:53:37Wright had drawn

00:53:38from me in a

00:53:39year.

00:53:44I lowered my

00:53:45head and made

00:53:45to pass them.

00:53:46Owen's good

00:53:47hand closed

00:53:48around my wrist

00:53:48as I went by.

00:53:49Eleanor, my

00:53:50hand has been

00:53:51paining me.

00:53:52Would you press

00:53:53a fresh shirt

00:53:53for me before

00:53:54I go on rounds?

00:53:55Dr. Pierce

00:53:56blinked.

00:53:58Dr. Hartwell,

00:53:59forgive me,

00:54:00you have someone?

00:54:01We have known

00:54:02each other since

00:54:03she was a month

00:54:03old, Dr. Pierce.

00:54:04Our mothers

00:54:05arranged the matter

00:54:05when she was

00:54:06still in her cradle.

00:54:07I have been

00:54:08the slow party.

00:54:09He did not

00:54:09let go of my

00:54:10wrist.

00:54:11The young

00:54:11doctor's color

00:54:12went from

00:54:12rose to

00:54:13scarlet.

00:54:13She murmured

00:54:14an apology

00:54:15and excused

00:54:15herself down

00:54:16the corridor.

00:54:17Owen and I

00:54:17stood alone

00:54:18in the

00:54:18lamplight.

00:54:19He had not

00:54:19yet released

00:54:20my wrist.

00:54:21I did not

00:54:22lift my

00:54:22eyes.

00:54:23Let me

00:54:23return the

00:54:24camion to

00:54:24you.

00:54:25No.

00:54:26I am a

00:54:27freed woman,

00:54:27Owen.

00:54:28The Alabama

00:54:29legislature dissolved

00:54:30the marriage

00:54:30by special

00:54:31act in the

00:54:31spring.

00:54:32I have the

00:54:32decree sealed

00:54:33and recorded

00:54:33folded in my

00:54:34trunk.

00:54:34I did not

00:54:34give Rhee

00:54:35the courtesy

00:54:35of telling

00:54:36him.

00:54:36I am a

00:54:37year older

00:54:37than I was

00:54:38on the

00:54:38road.

00:54:39I have

00:54:39just walked

00:54:40out of a

00:54:40restaurant

00:54:40where a

00:54:41man overturned

00:54:41a table

00:54:41for me.

00:54:42I have

00:54:42nothing to

00:54:42offer you

00:54:43that a

00:54:43younger woman

00:54:43would not

00:54:44offer better.

00:54:44Eleanor,

00:54:45would you

00:54:46consider

00:54:46marrying me?

00:54:47I was

00:54:47very quiet

00:54:48for a long

00:54:49moment.

00:54:50The lamp

00:54:51at the end

00:54:51of the

00:54:51corridor

00:54:52hissed.

00:54:54I lifted

00:54:54my chin.

00:54:56Is the

00:54:57courthouse

00:54:57still open

00:54:58at this

00:54:58hour?

00:54:59The clerk

00:54:59owes me a

00:55:00favor.

00:55:01He will

00:55:01open it.

00:55:02Then bring

00:55:03two witnesses.

00:55:04I will

00:55:04fetch my

00:55:05coat.

00:55:06I walked

00:55:06past him

00:55:07toward the

00:55:07women's

00:55:07ward.

00:55:09Halfway

00:55:09down the

00:55:09corridor I

00:55:10set my

00:55:10hand against

00:55:11the wall

00:55:11as if to

00:55:11steady a

00:55:12chair and

00:55:13stood there

00:55:13a moment,

00:55:14my shoulders

00:55:14shaking with

00:55:15something that

00:55:15was not yet

00:55:16tears.

00:55:17We were

00:55:17married within

00:55:18the hour at

00:55:18the back

00:55:18office of the

00:55:19Vicksburg

00:55:19courthouse by

00:55:20lamplight with

00:55:21two orderies from

00:55:21the hospital

00:55:22standing as

00:55:22witnesses.

00:55:23The clerk

00:55:23inscribed the

00:55:23certificate with

00:55:24a steel pen.

00:55:25Owen wrote

00:55:25his name first.

00:55:26I wrote mine

00:55:26below in the

00:55:27small precise hand

00:55:28my father had

00:55:28taught me at

00:55:29six.

00:55:29The ink was

00:55:30still wet when

00:55:30Owen folded

00:55:31the paper into

00:55:31the breast of

00:55:31his coat.

00:55:33On the walk

00:55:34back Owen

00:55:34stopped at the

00:55:35drug mints and

00:55:36bought a paper

00:55:36sack of

00:55:37peppermints.

00:55:38He gave one to

00:55:39every patient

00:55:40Eleanor in the

00:55:40ward.

00:55:42He gave one to

00:55:43the orderly who

00:55:43had stood as

00:55:44witness.

00:55:45He gave one to

00:55:46the boy at the

00:55:46gate.

00:55:48We were married

00:55:49this afternoon.

00:55:51You may toast

00:55:52us at supper.

00:55:52A surgeon from

00:55:54Memphis clapped

00:55:55him on the

00:55:55shoulder.

00:55:56A week in

00:55:57town and you

00:55:57have taken

00:55:58Atlanta's best

00:55:59lady doctor.

00:56:00You should run

00:56:01for office

00:56:02heartless.

00:56:02I have known

00:56:03her since before

00:56:04she could hold

00:56:04up her head.

00:56:06I am the one

00:56:07who was slow.

00:56:09That night we

00:56:10took a single

00:56:10room above a

00:56:11quiet boarding

00:56:12house off

00:56:12Washington

00:56:13Street.

00:56:14Owen had

00:56:15cooked supper

00:56:16himself in the

00:56:16landlady's

00:56:17kitchen.

00:56:18A poached

00:56:19chicken and

00:56:19cream.

00:56:20A small dish

00:56:21of stewed

00:56:22apples.

00:56:22A half-bottle

00:56:23of clallart

00:56:23a Hartwild

00:56:24cousin had

00:56:25run through

00:56:25the blockade

00:56:26six months

00:56:26earlier.

00:56:28The cameo

00:56:29lay at the

00:56:30hollow of

00:56:30my throat

00:56:32where it

00:56:32had always

00:56:33belonged.

00:56:34You are

00:56:35beautiful tonight

00:56:35Mrs. Hartwild.

00:56:38My color

00:56:39had not left

00:56:39my face

00:56:40since the

00:56:41courthouse.

00:56:42I did not

00:56:43look up from

00:56:44my glass.

00:56:46Stop saying

00:56:47that or I

00:56:47will not be

00:56:48able to eat.

00:56:49Then I will

00:56:50say it after

00:56:51supper.

00:56:53He did.

00:56:54He said

00:56:55other things

00:56:56too that

00:56:57were not

00:56:57for the

00:56:57page.

00:56:58The lamp

00:56:59burnt low.

00:57:01The cameo

00:57:02grew warm

00:57:03against my

00:57:03skin.

00:57:04Outside,

00:57:05the autumn

00:57:06cold settled

00:57:07deep into the

00:57:08brick of the

00:57:08chimney,

00:57:09and somewhere

00:57:10upriver a

00:57:10steam whistle

00:57:11answered another.

00:57:12I slept

00:57:13without dreams.

00:57:16At first

00:57:17light,

00:57:17boots on

00:57:18the stair

00:57:18below.

00:57:20A heavy

00:57:21stride.

00:57:22A stride I

00:57:23knew.

00:57:25Owen was

00:57:25already sitting

00:57:26up, reaching

00:57:27for his

00:57:27coat.

00:57:28Downstairs,

00:57:29the front

00:57:29window broke.

00:57:31The shot

00:57:32came through

00:57:33the parlor

00:57:33window and

00:57:34lodged in

00:57:34the cornice

00:57:35above the

00:57:35bed.

00:57:36Owen pulled

00:57:37me down

00:57:37with his

00:57:37good arm

00:57:38and held

00:57:38me against

00:57:39the headboard.

00:57:39glass dusted

00:57:41the rug.

00:57:41Ride's voice

00:57:42came up from

00:57:43the street,

00:57:44horsky and

00:57:44not entirely

00:57:45sober.

00:57:46Hartwell,

00:57:47come down!

00:57:49Come down

00:57:50or I'll

00:57:50fire the

00:57:51building!

00:57:59I pushed

00:58:00out of

00:58:01Owen's arms

00:58:01and went

00:58:02to the

00:58:02window.

00:58:03He reached

00:58:03for me.

00:58:04I stepped

00:58:05out of his

00:58:05hand.

00:58:06Below in

00:58:07the early

00:58:07street,

00:58:08Rabe stood

00:58:08with a

00:58:09dueling

00:58:09pistol in

00:58:09each

00:58:10hand and

00:58:10three men

00:58:11behind him

00:58:11on horseback.

00:58:12His hat

00:58:13was off.

00:58:14His hair

00:58:14was wet.

00:58:16Whom I

00:58:16marry is

00:58:17no concern

00:58:17of yours,

00:58:18Reed.

00:58:19Put down

00:58:20the pistols

00:58:20and go

00:58:21home.

00:58:22They told

00:58:22me you

00:58:23married him

00:58:23last night!

00:58:25Tell me

00:58:26they lied!

00:58:27If I

00:58:27were you,

00:58:28Ashford,

00:58:29a man who

00:58:30treated her

00:58:30as you

00:58:31treated her,

00:58:32I could

00:58:33not show

00:58:33my face

00:58:33to her

00:58:34again.

00:58:36And yet

00:58:36here you

00:58:37are at

00:58:37her window

00:58:38in the

00:58:38open street

00:58:39in front

00:58:39of witnesses.

00:58:41Holster

00:58:41your pistols.

00:58:43You are

00:58:44embarrassing

00:58:44your grandfather.

00:58:46Reed fired.

00:58:48The ball

00:58:48grazed the

00:58:49curtain at

00:58:49Owen's temple

00:58:50and buried

00:58:51itself in

00:58:52the wardrobe

00:58:52behind us.

00:58:53The sound

00:58:54rang the

00:58:54small room

00:58:55like a bell.

00:58:56I did not

00:58:56move.

00:58:57My shoulder

00:58:57blades were

00:58:58against Owen's

00:58:58chest.

00:58:59My chin

00:59:00was lifted.

00:59:00My face

00:59:01was turned

00:59:01toward the

00:59:02muzzle of

00:59:02the pistol

00:59:02below.

00:59:03Reed!

00:59:04Listen!

00:59:05I spoke

00:59:05quietly but

00:59:06the street

00:59:06heard me.

00:59:07Hurt my

00:59:08husband and

00:59:08I will

00:59:08not forgive

00:59:09it.

00:59:09Kill him

00:59:10and I

00:59:10will follow

00:59:11him.

00:59:12There will

00:59:12be no

00:59:13Ashford

00:59:13widow waiting

00:59:14for you

00:59:14in Charleston.

00:59:16There will

00:59:17be no

00:59:17woman of

00:59:18yours in

00:59:18any house.

00:59:20There will

00:59:21be a grave

00:59:22next to

00:59:22his and

00:59:23you may

00:59:23carry the

00:59:24memory the

00:59:24rest of

00:59:25your life.

00:59:26Rialt

00:59:27lowered the

00:59:27pistol an

00:59:27inch.

00:59:28His mouth

00:59:29worked.

00:59:30Then I

00:59:30will lay

00:59:31you both

00:59:31in the

00:59:32Ashford

00:59:32plot.

00:59:34We will

00:59:34haunt each

00:59:35other to

00:59:35the end

00:59:36of the

00:59:36world.

00:59:37He fired

00:59:38the second

00:59:38round into

00:59:39the wall

00:59:39beside the

00:59:40window and

00:59:40turned his

00:59:41horse.

00:59:41The hoofbeats

00:59:42faded down

00:59:42Washington

00:59:43Street.

00:59:43Somewhere a

00:59:44dog began

00:59:44to bark and

00:59:45was silenced

00:59:45by a thrown

00:59:46boot.

00:59:46My knees

00:59:47gave.

00:59:47Owen caught

00:59:48me under

00:59:48the arms and

00:59:49carried me

00:59:49to the

00:59:49bed.

00:59:50He set

00:59:50me against

00:59:51the pillow

00:59:51and pulled

00:59:51the quilt

00:59:52over my

00:59:52shoulders and

00:59:53held my

00:59:53face between

00:59:53his hands.

00:59:54He is

00:59:54noise.

00:59:55He has

00:59:55always been

00:59:56noise.

00:59:56While I

00:59:57am breathing

00:59:57he will

00:59:57not touch

00:59:58you.

00:59:58I pressed

00:59:59my forehead

00:59:59to his

01:00:00shoulder.

01:00:00His coat

01:00:01smelled of

01:00:01chloroform

01:00:02and cold

01:00:02smoke.

01:00:03Owen, let

01:00:04us go

01:00:05somewhere he

01:00:05cannot find

01:00:06us.

01:00:07Mexico, the

01:00:08Sandwich Islands,

01:00:09anywhere.

01:00:09Not yet.

01:00:10Not while the

01:00:10war needs us.

01:00:11A private

01:00:12grievance is not

01:00:13worth the

01:00:14leaving of a

01:00:14post.

01:00:16I did not

01:00:17answer.

01:00:18That evening

01:00:19courier knocked

01:00:20at the door

01:00:21with a folded

01:00:21dispatch.

01:00:23Heavy

01:00:23engagement

01:00:24along the

01:00:24Yazak.

01:00:25Three field

01:00:26hospitals

01:00:26shelled.

01:00:27The senior

01:00:28surgeon at

01:00:28Snyder's

01:00:29Bluff was

01:00:29dead of

01:00:30fever.

01:00:31Owen's

01:00:31orders were

01:00:31waiting in

01:00:32the major's

01:00:32tent at

01:00:33first light.

01:00:34He packed

01:00:35his case by

01:00:36lamplight.

01:00:38I sat on

01:00:39the edge of

01:00:39the bed and

01:00:40watched him

01:00:41fold each

01:00:41clean shirt

01:00:42into the

01:00:43leather

01:00:43satzel.

01:00:44He set

01:00:45the

01:00:45Camus

01:00:45matching

01:00:46gold

01:00:46chain.

01:00:47A thinner

01:00:48one he

01:00:48had bought

01:00:48that morning

01:00:49at the

01:00:49Drugritur's

01:00:50around my

01:00:51neck for

01:00:52him to

01:00:52carry away

01:00:53in memory.

01:00:55I will

01:00:56write every

01:00:56week.

01:00:58If the

01:00:59post is

01:00:59cut, I

01:01:00will write

01:01:01every week

01:01:01anyway and

01:01:03send it

01:01:03when I

01:01:03can.

01:01:05I know.

01:01:13Eleanor,

01:01:13I have

01:01:14been wishing

01:01:15good things

01:01:15upon you

01:01:16for thirty

01:01:16years.

01:01:17I am not

01:01:18going to

01:01:18stop because

01:01:18there is a

01:01:19battle in

01:01:19the way.

01:01:20I rose to

01:01:21walk him to

01:01:21the door.

01:01:22At the

01:01:22threshold, he

01:01:23turned, set

01:01:24down the

01:01:24saddle, took

01:01:25my face in

01:01:25his hands

01:01:26once more and

01:01:26kissed me

01:01:27without haste.

01:01:30He picked

01:01:31up the

01:01:31satchel.

01:01:36He went

01:01:37down the

01:01:37stair.

01:01:38I stood

01:01:39at the

01:01:39broken window

01:01:40and watched

01:01:40him cross the

01:01:41lamplight street

01:01:42towards the

01:01:42depot.

01:01:43I wanted

01:01:44to call

01:01:44out to

01:01:44tell him

01:01:45to wait,

01:01:46but I

01:01:47knew I

01:01:47couldn't.

01:01:51He

01:01:52raised his

01:01:52good hand

01:01:53once without

01:01:53turning.

01:01:54Then the

01:01:55corner took

01:01:55him, his

01:01:57footsteps fading

01:01:57like a

01:01:58memory.

01:02:01I would

01:02:02not see him

01:02:02for a great

01:02:03while.

01:02:04Behind me,

01:02:06in the bed,

01:02:07the impression

01:02:07of his head

01:02:08was still on

01:02:08the pillow.

01:02:10letters came

01:02:12once a

01:02:12fortnight,

01:02:13then once

01:02:14a month.

01:02:16Then a

01:02:17season passed

01:02:17in silence.

01:02:26I moved

01:02:27with my

01:02:28unit when

01:02:29the field

01:02:29hospital was

01:02:30shelled.

01:02:40I moved

01:02:40again

01:02:42when the

01:02:43next post

01:02:44was overrun.

01:02:48I slept

01:02:49in convent

01:02:50cellars

01:02:51and in

01:02:52farmhouse

01:02:52parlors,

01:02:57and once

01:02:58for three

01:02:58nights in

01:02:59the bed

01:02:59of a hay

01:03:00wagon.

01:03:04I set

01:03:04broken

01:03:05femurs

01:03:06by lamp

01:03:07made from

01:03:08a saucer

01:03:08of grease.

01:03:15I closed

01:03:15wounds I

01:03:16could not

01:03:16have closed

01:03:17in Paris,

01:03:19and lost

01:03:20men I

01:03:21could have

01:03:21saved there.

01:03:23I kept

01:03:24his thinner

01:03:24chain at

01:03:25my throat

01:03:25and the

01:03:26cameo beside

01:03:27it,

01:03:28and I kept

01:03:28my face

01:03:29turned toward

01:03:29the work.

01:03:35Word reached

01:03:36the hospital

01:03:37in the spring

01:03:37of the second

01:03:38year.

01:03:39Colonel

01:03:40Reet Ashfield

01:03:40of the

01:03:41cavalry killed

01:03:42in a skirmish

01:03:43thirty miles

01:03:44south of

01:03:44Vicksburg.

01:03:45The body

01:03:46had not been

01:03:47recovered.

01:03:48The horses

01:03:49had come back

01:03:49without him.

01:03:51I sat

01:03:51with the

01:03:52dispatch a

01:03:52long time.

01:03:53I felt

01:03:54no joy in

01:03:54it,

01:03:54and no

01:03:55grief,

01:03:56only a

01:03:56distant,

01:03:57uncomplicated

01:03:58quiet that

01:03:59he might,

01:03:59in another

01:04:00life have

01:04:00been someone

01:04:01else,

01:04:02and that

01:04:03he had

01:04:03not been.

01:04:08I folded

01:04:09the paper

01:04:09into my

01:04:10case,

01:04:10and went

01:04:11back to

01:04:11the wards.

01:04:17The letters

01:04:17from Owen

01:04:18stopped

01:04:18entirely that

01:04:19summer.

01:04:20Six months,

01:04:21then nine.

01:04:22On a clear

01:04:23morning in

01:04:23autumn,

01:04:24a union

01:04:24liaisal

01:04:25officer was

01:04:25shown into

01:04:26the small

01:04:26canvas room

01:04:27I used as

01:04:27an office.

01:04:28He removed

01:04:29his hat.

01:04:29He sat

01:04:30down across

01:04:31from me

01:04:31without

01:04:31being asked.

01:04:32Mrs.

01:04:32Hartweed,

01:04:33Dr.

01:04:34Hartweed was

01:04:34carrying

01:04:34disc

01:04:35sages three

01:04:35weeks ago

01:04:35when a

01:04:36powder magazine

01:04:36exploded during

01:04:37the siege at

01:04:37Petersburg.

01:04:38A beam struck

01:04:39him at the

01:04:39temple he has

01:04:40been unconscious

01:04:40since.

01:04:41I set down

01:04:41my pen.

01:04:42His family

01:04:43in New

01:04:43Orleans moved

01:04:43him to a

01:04:44private sanitary

01:04:44in Paris.

01:04:45He left

01:04:45written instructions

01:04:46that you were

01:04:46not to be

01:04:46informed.

01:04:48The Paris

01:04:48physicians have

01:04:49given him six

01:04:49months.

01:04:50Six months

01:04:50are now five.

01:04:51His aunt has

01:04:51sent for you.

01:04:52She believes

01:04:52you should see

01:04:52him before

01:04:53treatment is

01:04:53withdrawn.

01:04:54I rose.

01:04:54I walked

01:04:55to the canvas

01:04:55wall.

01:04:56I set my

01:04:57hand against

01:04:57it as a

01:04:58woman sets

01:04:58her hand

01:04:58against a

01:04:59beam to

01:04:59see if

01:04:59the house

01:05:00is sound.

01:05:01When is

01:05:01the next

01:05:02pack?

01:05:03The sanatorium

01:05:04stood on a

01:05:04quiet street

01:05:05in Passy,

01:05:06behind a

01:05:07garden wall

01:05:07the color

01:05:08of old

01:05:08chalk.

01:05:09Its

01:05:09garden was

01:05:10bare of

01:05:10leaves.

01:05:12Its

01:05:12windows were

01:05:13curtained in

01:05:13white.

01:05:15Aunt

01:05:15Hartwield met

01:05:16me at the

01:05:16door.

01:05:17She was a

01:05:18tall woman

01:05:18in morning

01:05:19gray,

01:05:20with Owen's

01:05:21mouth.

01:05:21He has

01:05:22not stirred

01:05:23in six

01:05:23months.

01:05:24The

01:05:24physicians

01:05:25wish to

01:05:25withdraw

01:05:26the

01:05:26apparatus

01:05:26tomorrow

01:05:27at

01:05:27nine.

01:05:28I thought

01:05:29you should

01:05:29see him

01:05:30first.

01:05:31I thought

01:05:32he deserved

01:05:33the chance

01:05:33to hear

01:05:34your voice

01:05:34before the

01:05:35end.

01:05:36I climbed

01:05:36the carpet

01:05:37stair.

01:05:38He lay

01:05:39very thin

01:05:39in the

01:05:40high bed.

01:05:41His hair

01:05:42had been

01:05:42cropped

01:05:42close.

01:05:45A nursing

01:05:45sister sat

01:05:46beside him

01:05:47with a

01:05:47small spoon

01:05:48and a

01:05:48cup of

01:05:48cool

01:05:49broth.

01:05:49His

01:05:50lips

01:05:50had been

01:05:51kept

01:05:51moist

01:05:51with a

01:05:51folded

01:05:52cloth.

01:05:53His

01:05:53good hand

01:05:54lay open

01:05:54on the

01:05:55coverlet,

01:05:55the one

01:05:55I had

01:05:56stitched,

01:05:56the scar

01:05:57still pink

01:05:57across the

01:05:58back.

01:05:59I sat

01:06:00down.

01:06:01I took

01:06:02his hand.

01:06:05It was

01:06:06warmer than

01:06:06I had braced

01:06:07myself for.

01:06:08For five

01:06:09nights I

01:06:09spoke to

01:06:09him.

01:06:10About the

01:06:11wards,

01:06:11about Reed's

01:06:12death I had

01:06:12not told him

01:06:13of in any

01:06:13letter.

01:06:14About the

01:06:14camion,

01:06:15about the

01:06:16bone in my

01:06:16knee that

01:06:16had begun

01:06:17to ache

01:06:17again in

01:06:17the Paris

01:06:18damp.

01:06:19About a

01:06:19daughter we

01:06:20had not yet

01:06:20had whom I

01:06:21had already

01:06:21begun in my

01:06:22own mind

01:06:22to name.

01:06:23I told

01:06:24him I

01:06:24was furious

01:06:24with him

01:06:25for hiding

01:06:25the wound.

01:06:26I told

01:06:27him he

01:06:27had broken

01:06:27his word.

01:06:29I sat

01:06:29with his

01:06:30hand in

01:06:30mine for

01:06:30a long

01:06:31time,

01:06:31neither

01:06:31speaking nor

01:06:32weeping,

01:06:33only listening

01:06:33to his

01:06:33breath.

01:06:34Then I

01:06:34told him I

01:06:35loved him

01:06:35and that I

01:06:36would not say

01:06:36it again if

01:06:37he did not

01:06:37wake to hear

01:06:38it.

01:06:38The sixth

01:06:39night Aunt

01:06:40Hartweald came

01:06:40in with her

01:06:41hat in her

01:06:41hand.

01:06:42The

01:06:43physician comes

01:06:43at nine.

01:06:45The flight

01:06:45home is the

01:06:46day after.

01:06:47I have arranged

01:06:48a place beside

01:06:49his mother.

01:06:50I

01:06:51understand.

01:06:52I leaned

01:06:53down and

01:06:54kissed his

01:06:54cool,

01:06:55still mouth.

01:06:56Owen,

01:06:57I forgive

01:06:58you.

01:06:59I am taking

01:07:00back my

01:07:00anger.

01:07:01I will not

01:07:02be your

01:07:02widow.

01:07:03I have

01:07:04years left.

01:07:05I intend

01:07:06to use them.

01:07:07I straightened.

01:07:08I pushed

01:07:09back the

01:07:09chair.

01:07:11I reached

01:07:12for my

01:07:12coat across

01:07:13the foot

01:07:13of the

01:07:13bed.

01:07:15I saw

01:07:15his eyelashes

01:07:16move.

01:07:17I froze

01:07:17with my

01:07:18coat half

01:07:18across my

01:07:19arm,

01:07:20certain I

01:07:20had imagined

01:07:21it.

01:07:22His eyelids

01:07:23moved again.

01:07:24His eyelids

01:07:24opened,

01:07:25slowly,

01:07:26with enormous

01:07:26effort,

01:07:27and his eyes

01:07:28found my

01:07:29face at

01:07:29once.

01:07:30I broke.

01:07:31I had not

01:07:32broken in

01:07:32three years,

01:07:33and I broke

01:07:34now,

01:07:34loudly,

01:07:35without dignity,

01:07:36my hands at

01:07:37my mouth and

01:07:38the coat falling

01:07:38to the floor.

01:07:39I called for

01:07:40the nurse.

01:07:41I called for

01:07:42Aunt Hartwell.

01:07:43I called Owen's

01:07:44name in pieces.

01:07:45His mouth

01:07:45moved.

01:07:47He could

01:07:47not form

01:07:48a sentence.

01:07:49He said

01:07:49my name,

01:07:50slowly,

01:07:50in three

01:07:51breaths.

01:07:52Don't

01:07:54cry.

01:07:55Eleanor,

01:07:56laughing through

01:07:56tears.

01:07:57You do not

01:07:57get to tell

01:07:58me anything.

01:07:59You almost

01:07:59died.

01:08:00In the

01:08:01doorway,

01:08:01Aunt Hartwell

01:08:02stood with

01:08:02her hat in

01:08:03her hand.

01:08:06After a

01:08:07long moment,

01:08:08she allowed

01:08:09herself,

01:08:10very slowly,

01:08:11to smile.

01:08:14Ten years

01:08:15passed in

01:08:15Paris and

01:08:16London,

01:08:16a small

01:08:17clinic in

01:08:17Geneva.

01:08:19Owen recovered

01:08:20slowly.

01:08:21Our daughter

01:08:22was born on

01:08:23a morning in

01:08:23May,

01:08:24and we named

01:08:24her Hope.

01:08:26The war

01:08:27ended at last

01:08:28in the spring

01:08:29of Hope's

01:08:29tenth year.

01:08:34And we came

01:08:34home.

01:08:44Washington,

01:08:45twenty years

01:08:45on.

01:08:46The morning

01:08:47of my

01:08:47retirement was

01:08:48cold and

01:08:48clean.

01:08:49Owen drove

01:08:50up to the

01:08:50institute steps

01:08:51in a hired

01:08:51carriage.

01:08:52His hair had

01:08:53gone entirely

01:08:54white.

01:08:54So had

01:08:55mine.

01:08:55He carried

01:08:56a small

01:08:56bunch of

01:08:57white roses

01:08:57wrapped in

01:08:58brown paper.

01:08:59Owen stepped

01:08:59down and

01:09:00offered his

01:09:00arm.

01:09:01I came

01:09:01out between

01:09:02the columns

01:09:02with my

01:09:03satchel over

01:09:03my shoulder,

01:09:04the same

01:09:04satchel I had

01:09:05carried out of

01:09:06Charleston Harbor

01:09:06on a steamer

01:09:07fifty years ago.

01:09:08The cameo he had

01:09:09back of his

01:09:10right hand,

01:09:10where I had

01:09:11stitched him at

01:09:11Vicksburg,

01:09:12was thirty years

01:09:13old and silver.

01:09:14Congratulations,

01:09:15Mrs. Hartweer.

01:09:16Welcome to the

01:09:16country of the

01:09:17retired.

01:09:18I took the

01:09:18roses.

01:09:19I held them

01:09:20against my

01:09:20coat.

01:09:21I looked at

01:09:22him a moment

01:09:22as if deciding

01:09:23what to do

01:09:23with the news

01:09:24I had been

01:09:24carrying all

01:09:25morning.

01:09:26Did the

01:09:26assistant not

01:09:27tell you?

01:09:28I have been

01:09:28reappointed.

01:09:29Owen removed

01:09:29his spectacles.

01:09:30He polished

01:09:31them on his

01:09:31handkerchief with

01:09:32great care.

01:09:32He put them

01:09:33back on.

01:09:33He looked at

01:09:33me and the

01:09:34corner of his

01:09:34mouth lifted

01:09:35in the small

01:09:35private way it

01:09:36had lifted at

01:09:36me every

01:09:36morning for

01:09:37forty years.

01:09:38Then

01:09:38congratulations,

01:09:39Mrs. Hartweer.

01:09:39We continue.

01:09:40We continue.

01:09:41I have been

01:09:41reappointed as

01:09:42well.

01:09:42Tuesday.

01:09:43Of course

01:09:44you have.

01:09:44He pushed

01:09:45open the

01:09:46carriage door.

01:09:47I climbed

01:09:48in.

01:09:49He set the

01:09:50roses across

01:09:51my lap and

01:09:52climbed in

01:09:53after me.

01:09:55The horse

01:09:56started forward

01:09:57over the

01:09:58cold cobbles.

01:09:59The institute

01:10:00steps slid

01:10:00past the

01:10:01window and

01:10:02beyond them

01:10:02the capital

01:10:03dome stood

01:10:03pale against

01:10:04an autumn

01:10:04sky.

01:10:06He reached

01:10:06across the

01:10:07seat and

01:10:07took my

01:10:08hand.

01:10:08The morning

01:10:09sun came

01:10:09through the

01:10:10carriage glass

01:10:10and lit

01:10:10us both.

01:10:11White-haired,

01:10:12bone-tired,

01:10:13still here.

01:10:14On the

01:10:15first weekend

01:10:15after our

01:10:16new clinic

01:10:16was established

01:10:17in Washington,

01:10:18the sky

01:10:19finally cleared.

01:10:20Our daughter,

01:10:21Hope, sent

01:10:22a long letter

01:10:22from medical

01:10:23school.

01:10:24Owen sat

01:10:24by the

01:10:25fireplace,

01:10:26wearing his

01:10:26gold-rimmed

01:10:27spectacles,

01:10:28reading it to

01:10:28me word by

01:10:29word.

01:10:30Whenever he

01:10:30reached an

01:10:31exciting part,

01:10:32the faded

01:10:33scar on his

01:10:33right hand,

01:10:35which I had

01:10:36stitched with

01:10:37my own hands

01:10:37in Vicksburg,

01:10:38would trace a

01:10:40faint arc in

01:10:40the air

01:10:41with his

01:10:42gestures.

01:10:44Those nightmares

01:10:45that had once

01:10:46snapped my

01:10:46dignity,

01:10:47inch by inch

01:10:48and ruthlessly

01:10:49crushed my

01:10:50unborn child,

01:10:51had finally

01:10:52faded into

01:10:53nothing more

01:10:53than a

01:10:54separation

01:10:55agreement

01:10:55locked at the

01:10:56bottom of a

01:10:57trunk.

01:10:59In the

01:11:00afternoon,

01:11:01an elderly

01:11:02woman from

01:11:03Virginia brought

01:11:04her grandson,

01:11:05who had a

01:11:06fractured finger

01:11:07into

01:11:07flinnick.

01:11:09I retrieved

01:11:10splints from

01:11:11the old

01:11:11medical bag

01:11:12that had

01:11:13accompanied me

01:11:13for 50 years.

01:11:16As I gently

01:11:18held the

01:11:18boy's tender

01:11:19fingers,

01:11:20Owen naturally

01:11:21handed me a

01:11:22finely shaved

01:11:23wooden splint.

01:11:24The moment he

01:11:25leaned in,

01:11:26his shoulder was

01:11:27as steady and

01:11:28reassuring as it

01:11:30always had been.

01:11:32fate had once

01:11:34forced me to

01:11:34stand barefoot

01:11:35on freezing

01:11:36gravel,

01:11:38bleeding until

01:11:38I grew numb.

01:11:40But now,

01:11:41these hands no

01:11:42longer needed

01:11:42to grip cold

01:11:44revolvers.

01:11:45Instead,

01:11:46under the warm

01:11:47afternoon sun,

01:11:48they gently

01:11:49smoothed away

01:11:50a child's pain.

01:11:51Before leaving,

01:11:52the old woman

01:11:53left two freshly

01:11:54picked oranges

01:11:54on the table.

01:11:56The crisp

01:11:56fragrance instantly

01:11:57filled the small

01:11:58clinic, smelling

01:11:59remarkably like the

01:12:00Orange Conservatory

01:12:01back at the

01:12:02Ashford Plantation,

01:12:03a place that

01:12:04could never be

01:12:04returned to.

01:12:13Looking at the

01:12:13oranges, I

01:12:15suddenly let out

01:12:15a soft laugh

01:12:16with no bitterness

01:12:18left in my heart.

01:12:21What are you

01:12:22laughing at,

01:12:22Mrs. Hartwell?

01:12:24I am laughing

01:12:25at the two of us,

01:12:26a pair of old

01:12:27folks who are

01:12:28supposed to be

01:12:28retired.

01:12:30tonight?

01:12:31I think I would

01:12:32like to use

01:12:33these two oranges

01:12:34to brew a hot

01:12:34pot of tea

01:12:35with cinnamon.

01:12:37Owen bowed

01:12:38slightly to me

01:12:38like a devout

01:12:39gentleman.

01:12:41It would be

01:12:42my honor,

01:12:42Eleanor.

01:12:46As long as

01:12:46it is your

01:12:47prescription,

01:12:48I have never

01:12:49intended to

01:12:49refuse it

01:12:50in my entire

01:12:50life.

01:12:52The twilight

01:12:53of Washington

01:12:53began to fall,

01:12:54and the first

01:12:55batch of lonely

01:12:56yet brilliant

01:12:56stars rose in

01:12:57the clean night

01:12:58sky.

01:12:59We stood

01:13:00side by side

01:13:01beneath the

01:13:01sign of our

01:13:02new clinic,

01:13:03watching the

01:13:04city lights

01:13:04flicker on

01:13:05one by one.

01:13:06This road had

01:13:07been long and

01:13:08slow, filled

01:13:09with hardships

01:13:09and blood.

01:13:10But at the

01:13:11end of this

01:13:12world our

01:13:12tomorrow still

01:13:13waited for us,

01:13:14on the

01:13:14sun-dank streets

01:13:15ahead, waiting

01:13:17for us to

01:13:18finish walking

01:13:18it hand in

01:13:19hand.

01:13:19tomorrow to

01:13:26guide us

01:13:26we

01:13:26you

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