Nobody Knows Anything [Full Movie] [Trending Drama]Full EP - Full - video Dailymotion

invisiblemandrama

Nobody Knows Anything [Full Movie] [Trending Drama]Full EP - Full

Transcript

00:00:27Satsang with Mooji

00:00:30How to explain them things that nobody knows

00:00:35People these days they play and act like you know

00:00:38But nobody, not even you, woman

00:00:40Nobody knows, nobody knows

00:00:43Who are you to tell me what's true and what's not?

00:00:45What's happening now, what you got?

00:00:48This here, real life, I'm a jukebox

00:00:50Dinner on the block and got the blocks unlocked

00:00:51Stop, don't wanna hear another word

00:00:54Show me the money or your gifts to burn

00:00:56The second is when I promise you the world

00:00:58I'll make you a star more like Magma Earl

00:01:00Holler back when the contract's right

00:01:02You better best believe I'm looking out for mine

00:01:04I'm feeding on steak and wine

00:01:07Struggles of a naughty face often times

00:01:09Cause nobody knows what the future holds

00:01:11Nobody knows anything till it goes

00:01:13It takes off to the next level of the game

00:01:15Until then you don't know a damn thing

00:01:17Sometimes in life there's questions nobody knows

00:01:22I need to grab them in the first minute

00:01:28Behind these walls lay the broken dreams of men

00:01:31Who are now confined

00:01:32Nah, too depressing

00:01:35Fade in, on a tree-lined street

00:01:38Two good-looking, attractive guys

00:01:40Are good-looking, attractive?

00:01:43That's the same thing

00:01:44Why not tall, unshort guys?

00:01:49Nah

00:01:52Give them something they've never seen before

00:01:55Edgy

00:01:56Ow

00:01:57Different

00:01:59Ow

00:02:02It's the action-packed true story of how

00:02:07The search for the American dream goes dangerously awry

00:02:12I have one dream on rye with a pickle to go

00:02:14Hmm

00:02:15Not bad

00:02:17Gotta grab them in the first minute

00:02:20Hmm

00:02:20Maybe a little sex

00:02:24Meh

00:02:25Too obvious

00:02:31Cosmo says red is the power color for women

00:02:34But it makes me look like a fire truck

00:02:37Hollywood

00:02:40That's me

00:02:40Sarah Wilder

00:02:42I just graduated from film school

00:02:44And now I'm in the real world

00:02:45Well, LA

00:02:47Which may be real or unreal

00:02:49Depending on who you are

00:02:50Fortunately, I know a real person

00:02:53My Uncle Lou

00:02:54Who was once a big-time Hollywood writer

00:02:59Yeah, it's open

00:03:00Yeah

00:03:00So, uh, how did I, how did I do yesterday?

00:03:03Oh, good, good

00:03:04Oh, Phil, I'll talk to you later

00:03:06Bye

00:03:09So?

00:03:13Sarah Wilder

00:03:14Your niece

00:03:15I know that

00:03:15Sit down

00:03:19For me

00:03:21Oh, how nice

00:03:24So, uh, what made you want to get into the movie business?

00:03:27Why'd you pick a profession with dignity?

00:03:29Like begging

00:03:30Oh, okay, Uncle Lou

00:03:31You're just like Mom

00:03:32You think the movie business is populated with terrible people?

00:03:34No, no, no, no, no, no

00:03:35Believe me, believe me

00:03:36I'm not like your mother

00:03:37But, uh, in this instance, she's right

00:03:39The world is full of terrible people

00:03:40Why not the movie business?

00:03:42So, uh, speaking of which, how is your mother?

00:03:47And that lummox she married?

00:03:49She and Dad are great

00:03:50They're doing the Florida thing, you know

00:03:51Get a condo on the beach

00:03:52And play golf

00:03:53And tennis

00:03:54So what's this movie about that you want to make?

00:03:56Jimmy

00:03:57Cousin Jimmy

00:03:58On your father's side?

00:04:00The same

00:04:00But why?

00:04:02He's a bum

00:04:03I know him

00:04:04And like my film teacher always said

00:04:05Film what you know

00:04:08Uh-huh

00:04:09So this story is all about Jimmy's problems, huh?

00:04:13What audience is gonna sit down and watch a movie about a schmuck like that?

00:04:18I don't know

00:04:20He's a sweet guy

00:04:21And I think I want to explore the why of it all

00:04:26The why of it all?

00:04:28Uh-huh

00:04:30You know, I don't understand the movies they're making today

00:04:33Did you, uh, did you see something about Mary?

00:04:35Laugh my ass off

00:04:36Could I make a movie like that?

00:04:37Never

00:04:38Never in a million years

00:04:40I want to tell you something

00:04:42I still know a lot of people in this town

00:04:46I called in a lot of favors

00:04:50I don't know why I'm doing this

00:04:53But I, uh, set up some pitch meetings for you

00:04:56All right?

00:04:56Now stay focused

00:04:57And remember

00:04:58Nobody knows anything

00:05:02Today I have my first pitch meeting at a big studio

00:05:07Hello

00:05:08Oh, I can't talk right now

00:05:10No, I'm meeting Connor Fulton at 9.30

00:05:12I'll talk to you later

00:05:16Hello

00:05:24Wait, wait, wait, all right

00:05:25Hold on, Connor is talking now, okay?

00:05:27All right, now listen

00:05:28You are five million dollars over budget

00:05:30Hold on one second

00:05:31Miss Winston

00:05:32Wilder

00:05:33That's right, hold on, okay

00:05:34Listen, you're five million dollars over budget

00:05:36So either we're gonna stop paying you

00:05:37Or we stop beating the cast and the crew

00:05:39It's your decision

00:05:42So

00:05:43You're new in town

00:05:45And you got a story to do

00:05:46Tell

00:05:48Well, nobody ever said that Connor Fulton didn't give new talent a break

00:05:52Ain't that right?

00:05:55See?

00:05:57Everyone knows

00:05:58That's George, he's my assistant

00:05:59He's my eyes and my ears

00:06:01You can see the big picture

00:06:03Hi

00:06:07So shoot

00:06:07I got a ten o'clock's coming in early

00:06:09You got five minutes

00:06:10Any good story can be told in five minutes

00:06:11Ain't that right?

00:06:14See?

00:06:16Give me your best shot

00:06:18It's the action-packed true story of how the search for the American dream goes ominously awry

00:06:24Kind of like a modern James Dean

00:06:33But during his quest for the American dream

00:06:36Jimmy committed armed robbery

00:06:37A felony

00:06:38But he's my cousin

00:06:40I mean, I sat next to him at the kids table at every holiday dinner

00:06:43But what made him do it?

00:06:47Here's the twist

00:06:49You see, I shot interviews of every family member and eyewitnesses to the actual crime

00:06:55For a historic docudrama

00:06:58Kind of like Reds but without the communists

00:07:00And we'll cut back to them ever so often for background and to help uncover Jimmy's motivations

00:07:07The diet pills are working

00:07:08Oh, thank you!

00:07:09Are those canned?

00:07:10Oh, of course they're canned

00:07:11Are you nervous, Beatrice?

00:07:12No, I'm very relaxed

00:07:14You're gonna be wonderful, Uncle Sid

00:07:15You're gonna be brilliant

00:07:16I like that apathetic thing you got going on

00:07:18And it's all about glamour over here, isn't it?

00:07:20Oh, how do I look?

00:07:21Wonderful

00:07:21Good, I looked right in there?

00:07:23Absolutely, you looked really good

00:07:24It's all about cleverness

00:07:26Roll sound

00:07:28Should I wait for like action?

00:07:31Wait until I say dysfunction

00:07:33Dysfunction

00:07:34Okay, okay, good

00:07:35What do you want me to talk about?

00:07:37Tell me about my cousin Jimmy and Uncle Sid

00:07:39You look marvelous

00:07:42Oh

00:07:44Jimmy is our son

00:07:46We love him

00:07:47He's a very good boy

00:07:50A very good boy

00:07:51You know what rotten is?

00:07:53He's rotten, rotten of the car

00:07:54Oh, but he's a very good boy, you know

00:07:58Thank God he's got my genes

00:08:00You know he takes after my side of the family

00:08:03Your side of the family

00:08:04Your side of the family's crazy

00:08:07You know, all this bad stuff with Jimmy

00:08:10It's your fault

00:08:12My fault?

00:08:14I oughta sue you

00:08:15I oughta sue you and your family, you know that?

00:08:17For what?

00:08:18Because when I married you they passed you off as sane

00:08:22You're fucking crazy

00:08:24This is good

00:08:26This is good

00:08:30You used fucking properly

00:08:33I have a mother and a father too

00:08:35Most people do

00:08:35That's very identifiable

00:08:37Mmm

00:08:41I'm a basket case until my second day

00:08:43You wanna know what he does at the grocery store?

00:08:47Jesus Christ, he's gonna bring up the candy bin thing again

00:08:50He steals little pieces of candy from the candy bin at the grocery store

00:08:55Jimmy must have seen him do it

00:08:58Like father, like son

00:09:00You know, Jimmy used to be a very sweet boy

00:09:03My husband here corrupted him

00:09:06Okay, so maybe Jimmy didn't grow up in the best environment

00:09:10But it's not like he was so different than any other kid

00:09:13I can't do homework because they told me to do homework

00:09:15I can't work under these conditions

00:09:19Right, but there was always a constant in Jimmy's life

00:09:21His love, no, no, his obsession for Miranda

00:09:25Even when they were kids

00:09:26Miranda, I love you

00:09:30Best thing that ever happened to Jimmy was Miranda

00:09:33But even when they were kids, it wasn't always roses

00:09:35I told you, Jimmy, get the fuck out of here!

00:09:38I'm serious!

00:09:40By the time they got married, she'd been kicking him out for years

00:09:42Just leave!

00:09:45See, things haven't changed much

00:09:47But unfortunately, every time Jimmy and Miranda fought

00:09:50He'd always go to his best friend for solace

00:09:52For understanding

00:09:54Unfortunately, his best friend is Virus

00:09:56His partner in crime, so to speak

00:09:58A rocket scientist, Virus isn't

00:10:00But Jimmy still considered him a friend

00:10:02Don't even ask me why

00:10:05Conor, darling, the love of my life, the vein of my existence

00:10:08Great baby!

00:10:10George, see any good movies lately?

00:10:13So good to see

00:10:14How are you doing?

00:10:15What brings you to the salt mines?

00:10:17It's about Bruce Conor, dear, who else?

00:10:19Listen, I just saw those dailies, marvelous

00:10:21Huh?

00:10:22That fight inside, what is that? Is that a volcano?

00:10:25Of course

00:10:25That's incredible, that's incredible, that's incredible

00:10:27Did I say that was incredible?

00:10:29I said that, I said that

00:10:31I'm so happy you're happy

00:10:32Happy? Happy?

00:10:34Happy? I am ecstatic here, alright?

00:10:35I am delirious, I'm about to lose control of my bladder

00:10:39I have something else you can piss on, then

00:10:42If you don't mind looking at the, uh, I missed your request, Bruce has

00:10:48What is it? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hasana in his trailer

00:10:51Wet, not dry

00:10:53Not dry. Not dry, George. Remind me.

00:10:56Hey, what's his new stand-in at $4,000 a week?

00:10:58Don't you think Bruce's brother would be perfect?

00:11:00Okay, what's his driver at $3,000?

00:11:02His nephew.

00:11:03Personal trainer, $2,000.

00:11:04His cousin. Coincidentally.

00:11:07You're killing me here.

00:11:08This is $14,000 a week.

00:11:10Why don't we just rent his whole family?

00:11:11You are, Connery, darling.

00:11:13You're renting the whole goddamn family.

00:11:15He's honest. He's honest.

00:11:17It's an $80 million movie.

00:11:18They'll need lots of asses in those seats to seek profits.

00:11:21Bruce can put them there.

00:11:23Ciao, George.

00:11:25I love what you're wearing.

00:11:29Thank you, Craig. Thank you.

00:11:31Hey, listen, you take care, all right?

00:11:32Tell Bruce I'll see him at the fight.

00:11:33I will.

00:11:34Bye-bye, Bobby.

00:11:36Is this a fucking business or what?

00:11:41Would they run General Electric like this?

00:11:43No, no, you're damn right they would.

00:11:44Give me Jack Brown.

00:11:45I'm sorry about this.

00:11:47They said he went to an early lunch.

00:11:50Christ.

00:11:50It's 10.45 in the morning.

00:11:54Give me the other producer on his film.

00:11:56Bruce's film.

00:11:56Whatever his name is.

00:11:57I don't know.

00:11:57Call him.

00:12:00It is a crazy business.

00:12:02It is crazy.

00:12:03I tell you that.

00:12:04Stars that make $14 million a picture

00:12:07and then they nickel and dime you

00:12:08for every perk they can think of.

00:12:11Producers go to a 10.45 lunch.

00:12:13Shit!

00:12:13I mean, most producers don't even come in

00:12:15till 11 o'clock, huh?

00:12:17Am I right?

00:12:18What?

00:12:19Rich Schwartz on two.

00:12:24Connor Fulton here.

00:12:26Hi.

00:12:26I want you to measure Bruce's trailer

00:12:28for a sauna

00:12:29and then I want you to tell him

00:12:31every day that it is being specially made.

00:12:33I want you to tell him

00:12:34we're having trouble

00:12:35getting a green card

00:12:36for his French chef.

00:12:37I want you to bullshit him

00:12:38about his stand-in.

00:12:39I want you to bullshit him

00:12:40about his driver.

00:12:41I want you to bullshit him

00:12:41about his trainer.

00:12:42Tell him,

00:12:42tell him,

00:12:45Teamsters.

00:12:45Tell him,

00:12:46tell him we're having problem

00:12:47with the Teamsters.

00:12:47They want their men in place

00:12:48and if he has a problem with that

00:12:49then his family's going to be

00:12:50sleeping with the fishes, okay?

00:12:51And then you tell him

00:12:52to go to hell!

00:13:03Where were we?

00:13:07What Jimmy and Virus needed

00:13:08was a direction,

00:13:09a goal.

00:13:11Get a job, get a job.

00:13:12Why don't you get a job?

00:13:13I'd like to get a job.

00:13:13Why don't you get a job?

00:13:15I can't!

00:13:16See?

00:13:17Because she told me to

00:13:18and then if I get a job

00:13:18it's because she told me to

00:13:20and I can't work

00:13:20under those conditions.

00:13:21Remember,

00:13:22when Jimmy was a kid

00:13:23he didn't like taking orders.

00:13:25He's no different now.

00:13:26Hey fellas,

00:13:27let's go, huh?

00:13:28We got a house to paint.

00:13:30Rapido, rapido.

00:13:32For the daylight.

00:13:33You like some guy

00:13:35clapping at you?

00:13:35Come on,

00:13:36have some self-respect.

00:13:37You gotta be your own boss.

00:13:38I am my own boss

00:13:39and I've got self-respect.

00:13:40No, what you got

00:13:41some guy telling you

00:13:42what to do.

00:13:43Nobody tells me

00:13:44what to do.

00:13:46Look,

00:13:46I'm gonna take off.

00:13:47Think about what I said.

00:13:49I thought you were

00:13:49coming over to help me paint.

00:13:50No.

00:13:50I thought it was coming over

00:13:52while you paint.

00:13:53I don't paint.

00:13:54I'm not a painter.

00:13:56Anyway,

00:13:56I gotta go pick up my check.

00:13:58Disability.

00:14:00Think about what I said.

00:14:01When I said

00:14:02they needed a goal

00:14:03I really meant

00:14:04they needed money

00:14:05because all they were

00:14:06capable of doing

00:14:07was painting houses.

00:14:09all the fixtures you see

00:14:11are original.

00:14:12They were installed

00:14:13when the house

00:14:14was first built

00:14:15in 1946.

00:14:17Now,

00:14:17nine years ago

00:14:18the owner of the house

00:14:19Mississippi Blue Smoke Jones

00:14:21had all of the fixtures removed

00:14:23sent back to Germany

00:14:24where they were

00:14:25originally manufactured

00:14:26in 1928.

00:14:29The Mississippi Blue Smoke Jones

00:14:31harmonica player?

00:14:32Yes.

00:14:34Wow.

00:14:37Nice house

00:14:38Blue Smoke.

00:14:40How do you know Blue Smoke?

00:14:41I don't.

00:14:42I know about him.

00:14:43Not done yet!

00:14:44All of the fixtures

00:14:45were cleaned,

00:14:46restored,

00:14:47updated

00:14:47by the grandson

00:14:49of the original manufacturer

00:14:51Minster

00:14:51Van der Klieger.

00:14:53Now,

00:14:53if that name rings a bell

00:14:54it should

00:14:55because we still use

00:14:57Klieg lights today.

00:14:59This way.

00:15:02Does he know

00:15:03we're here to paint?

00:15:04As you can see,

00:15:07as you can see

00:15:08the kitchen

00:15:08has been updated as well.

00:15:09The technology of tomorrow

00:15:11with the hardwood floors

00:15:13of yesterday.

00:15:14I think that's pretty cool.

00:15:16Speaking of cool,

00:15:17nicely done.

00:15:18This refrigerator

00:15:19has the shell

00:15:21of its mother model

00:15:22the Freeze Captain 627

00:15:23with the entrails

00:15:25of the Captain Frost

00:15:27Master Wes Fridge.

00:15:31A lovely piece of machinery.

00:15:33Ha ha ha ha.

00:15:34Ah.

00:15:35I believe this is yours.

00:15:38Ah, take a look at this.

00:15:39Is this beautiful?

00:15:40Look at this

00:15:41with the trees

00:15:41and the sun.

00:15:43Look at this view.

00:15:45If this view

00:15:46were a lady,

00:15:47I would lay her down

00:15:48right here,

00:15:49right now,

00:15:50and give her the love.

00:15:52Oh my God!

00:15:54Oh my God!

00:15:57Oh God!

00:15:59I am so goddamn tired

00:16:02of showing houses

00:16:02all day long.

00:16:04You couldn't give

00:16:05this piece of shit away.

00:16:06This shit,

00:16:07it's been on the market

00:16:08for six years now.

00:16:11Oh God!

00:16:13Oh God!

00:16:14Did you ever lie

00:16:15in bed at night

00:16:16and you look up

00:16:16at the ceiling

00:16:17and you realize,

00:16:18you know,

00:16:18I came to the fork

00:16:19in the road,

00:16:20I veered left.

00:16:20You know you should

00:16:21veer right,

00:16:22you know it,

00:16:22but it's too late,

00:16:24it's too late.

00:16:25I shit where I sleep.

00:16:27Oh God,

00:16:28I wish I had

00:16:29on my back porch.

00:16:32It's too late.

00:16:36You guys,

00:16:37you seem like nice guys,

00:16:39really,

00:16:40and you're young,

00:16:41you should get away,

00:16:42run away now,

00:16:43because I feel

00:16:44one coming on,

00:16:45okay?

00:16:47I really need

00:16:48to be alone.

00:16:50Oh God!

00:16:58Oh God!

00:17:00Wow!

00:17:01Can you believe that?

00:17:02Well,

00:17:03Blue Smoke's house

00:17:04has been on the market

00:17:04for six years.

00:17:05It's beautiful.

00:17:07Wait, wait, wait,

00:17:07wait, wait, wait, wait.

00:17:10Two guys,

00:17:11strike that,

00:17:11two morons

00:17:13who can't paint

00:17:14and they're talking

00:17:15about some musician.

00:17:17I'm...

00:17:18I thought this was

00:17:19about an armed robbery.

00:17:21It is.

00:17:22So?

00:17:23Where is it?

00:17:24I mean,

00:17:25how far are we

00:17:25into the picture now?

00:17:27Ten minutes,

00:17:28maybe?

00:17:30Ten minutes,

00:17:31ten minutes is a lifetime,

00:17:33see?

00:17:33George knows.

00:17:34In Indiana Jones,

00:17:35he has already been chased

00:17:36by a boulder by now,

00:17:38okay?

00:17:38In Jaws,

00:17:39we've seen a girl

00:17:39get naked,

00:17:40make out with some guy,

00:17:41hop in the water

00:17:41and get eaten by a shark.

00:17:43That's the goal.

00:17:44That's what the audience

00:17:44is waiting for.

00:17:45Why are you making them wait?

00:17:48I wanted to build up the motivation

00:17:50to their committing the robbery.

00:17:53Wrong answer.

00:17:56My dear,

00:17:56you must be visual.

00:17:57You have to show this.

00:17:58You gotta show some guns,

00:18:00some violence,

00:18:00a little blood.

00:18:02I don't know.

00:18:02Wait.

00:18:03They, they,

00:18:04let's say they,

00:18:05they,

00:18:07they witness a robbery.

00:18:10They witness a robbery

00:18:11and that inspires them.

00:18:12That's good,

00:18:13isn't it?

00:18:13That's good.

00:18:14That's good.

00:18:15Try that.

00:18:16You want me to change

00:18:17what I have?

00:18:18Change what actually happened?

00:18:19Change the truth?

00:18:23What do you think

00:18:25this is?

00:18:26Church?

00:18:26The, yes.

00:18:27Yes.

00:18:28Change the truth,

00:18:29add the bit about the robbery

00:18:30and then, uh,

00:18:32continue.

00:18:34Okay.

00:18:35Um,

00:18:36let's see.

00:18:37Uh,

00:18:38as Uncle Lou said,

00:18:39nobody knows anything,

00:18:40so I might as well

00:18:41give it a try.

00:18:42Why can't Miranda

00:18:42just be nice to me?

00:18:44You guys need a dialogue, man.

00:18:46Is that it, fellas?

00:18:47Yeah.

00:18:48All right.

00:18:49Uh, let's see.

00:18:49Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi,

00:18:51fruit pie, fruit pie.

00:18:53$2.65.

00:18:54We got two.

00:18:55We got

00:18:57$50,

00:18:58$61,

00:18:59$62,

00:19:00$63,

00:19:02$64,

00:19:03$2.64.

00:19:07$2.64.

00:19:14All right.

00:19:15Yeah, fine.

00:19:19Miranda's just complicated,

00:19:20you know?

00:19:20You guys,

00:19:21you need to talk more,

00:19:21because she's like,

00:19:22let's stay calm,

00:19:23we just want the cash.

00:19:24Let's go, let's go,

00:19:24move it.

00:19:25All right, you two,

00:19:25spread out.

00:19:26Spread out.

00:19:26See some money out of you two.

00:19:27Come on, come on,

00:19:28I'm not fooling around here.

00:19:29Let's open the pot.

00:19:30See some cash.

00:19:31Man, I got nothing.

00:19:33I didn't mention that dish.

00:19:34Holy cow.

00:19:35Give me the change.

00:19:38Get the hands up.

00:19:39Clean, that's it.

00:19:39Let's go.

00:19:48How hairy was that?

00:19:51How about shit?

00:19:52Did you about shit?

00:19:52How about shit?

00:19:54Did you see me?

00:19:55I froze.

00:19:56I was just...

00:19:57Hey, man.

00:19:58You're really cool.

00:20:00Yeah, it's because I don't give a shit.

00:20:01It happens every other week.

00:20:03I'm not going to get my ass shot up

00:20:04for, you know,

00:20:04$200 that's not even mine.

00:20:07You were really cool.

00:20:08I should have put a cap in their ass.

00:20:10That's what I should have did.

00:20:11But I don't have a, uh, gun.

00:20:17Hey.

00:20:18Yeah, yeah, go ahead.

00:20:19You sure?

00:20:22Thanks a lot.

00:20:23Sure.

00:20:25Jimmy needed to feel worthy

00:20:27in Miranda's eyes

00:20:28to prove himself to her

00:20:30on his own terms.

00:20:32But he didn't know how.

00:20:34Witnessing the robbery

00:20:35was both shocking

00:20:36and exciting to them.

00:20:37A total adrenaline rush.

00:20:39To Jimmy and Virus,

00:20:40this was all the inspiration

00:20:41they needed.

00:20:42If you had to give a description

00:20:43of the cops right now,

00:20:44what would you tell them?

00:20:45I'd say there were two of them.

00:20:46Uh-huh.

00:20:48And that they were bigger than us

00:20:49and white.

00:20:51Hey, you don't catch guys like that.

00:20:53You know?

00:20:54They knew exactly

00:20:55what they were doing.

00:20:56They were professionals.

00:20:56You heard the cashier.

00:20:57That shit happens all the time.

00:20:58I like this much better now.

00:21:00I like it.

00:21:00This is good.

00:21:02Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

00:21:04Come on.

00:21:04Jimmy moved in with Virus.

00:21:06The wheels were now in motion

00:21:07that would lead them

00:21:08to their eventual destiny.

00:21:10Come on.

00:21:10Get the door open.

00:21:12Oh, boy.

00:21:13Phone's ringing.

00:21:14Hello?

00:21:15Oh, no.

00:21:16Hey, Miranda.

00:21:16How are you?

00:21:17No, actually,

00:21:18we just walked in.

00:21:19It's Miranda.

00:21:20Really?

00:21:21No, that's...

00:21:21Yeah.

00:21:22No, I will.

00:21:24Yeah, that's sweet.

00:21:25I will.

00:21:26Absolutely, I will.

00:21:27Uh-huh.

00:21:30You look like Joe Perry

00:21:31from Aerosmith right now

00:21:32in that light.

00:21:32It's weird.

00:21:33Your nose is...

00:21:34Uh-huh?

00:21:35What are you saying?

00:21:36No, that...

00:21:36It's just you.

00:21:37Okay, cool.

00:21:38Absolutely.

00:21:39I will.

00:21:40Yeah, he's right here.

00:21:41Hold on one second.

00:21:42She wants to talk to you.

00:21:43Now, to Jimmy,

00:21:44his life may have been crap,

00:21:46but the one thing

00:21:47he did have

00:21:47was Miranda.

00:21:50Actually, he didn't,

00:21:51but that's Jimmy.

00:21:52Hello.

00:21:53Yeah, no.

00:21:54Just me and Virus.

00:21:56Hey, how'd you know

00:21:57I was here, anyway?

00:21:59No?

00:22:00Just...

00:22:00No.

00:22:01No.

00:22:03Now, see,

00:22:03I think you do want

00:22:04to fight about it.

00:22:05As a matter of fact,

00:22:05I think you want

00:22:06nothing more than

00:22:07to fight about it.

00:22:08Hang on a second there, Pud,

00:22:09and you're the one

00:22:10who asked me to...

00:22:12Puds?

00:22:12I even asked a psychiatrist

00:22:14why Miranda would

00:22:15call.

00:22:15It's called

00:22:16separation anxiety.

00:22:18You see,

00:22:18Jimmy was obsessed

00:22:19with Miranda,

00:22:20yet she was rejecting him.

00:22:22Quite often,

00:22:22when people are away,

00:22:23this sort of thing happens.

00:22:24Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:22:25That's exactly

00:22:26what happened to me

00:22:26when I was on a stakeout

00:22:27for two months.

00:22:29Day in and day out,

00:22:30my wife and I,

00:22:31well, we were separated

00:22:32for some time.

00:22:33And, well,

00:22:34we had arguments,

00:22:35and, you know,

00:22:37separation is very painful

00:22:38and stressful.

00:22:39Oh, it's terrible.

00:22:41He was not on a stakeout.

00:22:42He's disturbed.

00:22:44He thinks he's

00:22:45Joe Mannix

00:22:45from the television show.

00:22:46You were not

00:22:46on a stakeout.

00:22:47Yeah, I tried to call her

00:22:49from every discreet

00:22:49telephone I could find,

00:22:51but there just wasn't

00:22:52any telephones around her.

00:22:53I was desperate,

00:22:54desperate to talk to her.

00:22:55I even had my secretary,

00:22:57Peggy.

00:22:57You remember Peggy.

00:22:58Peggy,

00:22:58I said,

00:22:59you've got to get

00:22:59in touch with her,

00:23:00but nothing,

00:23:01nothing.

00:23:02You're not a private eye,

00:23:03Mr. Ohanian.

00:23:04You're...

00:23:04Wait, wait a minute.

00:23:05What do you mean,

00:23:06Shrinko?

00:23:06Of course I'm a private eye.

00:23:08Joe Mannix,

00:23:09what are you talking about?

00:23:10I went undercover

00:23:11with my contacts

00:23:12at the police force,

00:23:12Lieutenant Tobias.

00:23:13Remember Lieutenant Tobias?

00:23:15Yes.

00:23:15Yeah, well,

00:23:16I was out of pocket

00:23:16for six months with that.

00:23:18You did not go undercover.

00:23:19Your name is not Joe Mannix,

00:23:20Mr. Ohanian.

00:23:21It's Kreekor Ohanian.

00:23:22You live in Fresno,

00:23:23and you make cheap white wine.

00:23:24Wait, wait, wait.

00:23:26You said it was going to be like Reds.

00:23:29What part does Warren Beatty play?

00:23:33No, he's not in it,

00:23:35but I'm using eyewitnesses

00:23:38like in the movie Reds.

00:23:42You get me Warren Beatty

00:23:43as an eyewitness.

00:23:44We got a movie.

00:23:50You have any other casting in place?

00:23:51You talk to George.

00:23:52He's my eyes and my ears.

00:23:56Is he coming back?

00:24:05How did you put a blind guy

00:24:06in the movie business?

00:24:07It's an advantage.

00:24:08First of all,

00:24:09nobody reads scripts anymore.

00:24:10They get these kids from UCLA

00:24:12to do that.

00:24:13Secondly, if he can't see,

00:24:15there's a little chance

00:24:16to take his boss's job.

00:24:19Though, uh,

00:24:21on the other hand,

00:24:23if he was also deaf,

00:24:24his chances could improve.

00:24:25Does everyone have a yes man?

00:24:29Some have no men.

00:24:31Most have,

00:24:32and we'll get back to you, man.

00:24:33Here.

00:24:34Let me give you this guy's number.

00:24:36I used to know him.

00:24:38He's okay.

00:24:38I gave him his first shot.

00:24:40You just call him, all right?

00:24:43Lou Bracken.

00:24:44Is he still alive?

00:24:46He called you, didn't he?

00:24:49Hmm.

00:24:51Comes from Cuba.

00:24:53I can make my whole movie

00:24:54for the price of five of those.

00:24:56Is that legal?

00:24:58Cuba Gooding.

00:25:01It's all need of money, baby.

00:25:05So, uh,

00:25:07where were we?

00:25:08Let's see.

00:25:09Your cousin Jimmy.

00:25:10Jimmy was spending his days

00:25:11watching TV

00:25:12and bemoaning Miranda.

00:25:14You're right.

00:25:15Should be separate, you know?

00:25:16I'm better off out of that house

00:25:18than still living with

00:25:19that emotional carnival freak.

00:25:21She's a sideshow.

00:25:22It's a really nice house, though.

00:25:27I'm an idiot.

00:25:28I still dig.

00:25:30Check it out.

00:25:31Turn it up.

00:25:32Try it.

00:25:33After being convicted

00:25:34of the grisly murder

00:25:36of his 69-year-old grandmother,

00:25:38Sally Gag.

00:25:40McClintock's peach.

00:25:42They can't be beat.

00:25:43You'll say that's me.

00:25:45The best darn peach I could ever eat.

00:25:47So we jump in the fridge,

00:25:48but we do encourage you

00:25:49to try one.

00:25:51McClintock's peach.

00:25:51Once they saw the commercial,

00:25:53they decided to target McClintock's.

00:25:55Okay, this is Karen, all right?

00:25:57She's a friend of mine.

00:25:58Karen used to work at McClintock's.

00:26:00Why she quit,

00:26:00that's not important either.

00:26:02Okay.

00:26:02All right?

00:26:03Here's the candy.

00:26:04Karen says they deposit the money

00:26:06to the bank every Monday afternoon.

00:26:07No.

00:26:08Yeah.

00:26:08So I figure we go in there

00:26:09on a Monday morning.

00:26:10That's a week's worth of business

00:26:11in that register.

00:26:12How hard can this be?

00:26:13Register full of cash,

00:26:14no security.

00:26:15I figure we walk in,

00:26:16grab the money,

00:26:16walk out,

00:26:17just like those guys did.

00:26:18Coffee Karen figures

00:26:19almost $50,000.

00:26:20Even as Jimmy and Virus

00:26:22plotted the robbery,

00:26:23it seemed that their feelings

00:26:24against McClintock's

00:26:25had found some public support.

00:26:26How dare the McClintock's

00:26:28invoked God to sell their peaches?

00:26:31They are the most self-righteous,

00:26:33pretentious con artists

00:26:34this town has ever seen.

00:26:35I could spit on them.

00:26:37McClintock's peaches

00:26:39smakują jak moje mamy,

00:26:41zupełnie tak samo.

00:26:42These eyewitnesses,

00:26:44you shot them already, right?

00:26:46Oh, yeah.

00:26:47In the can.

00:26:47And there's a lot more

00:26:49than what you've heard.

00:26:50Mm-hmm.

00:26:52So, uh,

00:26:55who do you see

00:26:56as the peach expert?

00:26:58Oh,

00:26:59the real peach expert himself.

00:27:01The real one

00:27:01I already shot in the film.

00:27:04Okay, let's get this straight.

00:27:06Everyone,

00:27:06I don't care who they are,

00:27:08wants to get their hands

00:27:09on some of these peaches,

00:27:10especially if they've ever tasted

00:27:11McClintock's peach.

00:27:13I mean everyone.

00:27:14Okay?

00:27:16Huh.

00:27:17Merci beaucoup.

00:27:20Euro trash.

00:27:22Oh.

00:27:22Sunscreen?

00:27:23No.

00:27:25I think,

00:27:26I think perhaps you should

00:27:28think younger.

00:27:30Maybe

00:27:32Ben Stiller

00:27:34as the peach expert.

00:27:39Whatever happened

00:27:40to authenticity?

00:27:42Authenticity

00:27:43is for CNN.

00:27:44Ben Stiller

00:27:45is for movies.

00:27:47Cheers.

00:27:48Maybe you're right.

00:27:55Oh.

00:27:56Well, think about it.

00:27:59Okay?

00:28:00Think about Ben.

00:28:02Okay, get this straight.

00:28:03Okay, everybody,

00:28:04I don't care who it is,

00:28:05wants to get their hands

00:28:06in some of those peaches

00:28:07if they've ever tasted

00:28:08McClintock peach.

00:28:09Okay?

00:28:11Ben Stiller.

00:28:12Hmm?

00:28:15Okay, get this straight.

00:28:16Everybody,

00:28:17I don't care who it is,

00:28:18wants to get their hands

00:28:19in some of those peaches

00:28:20if they've ever tasted

00:28:21McClintock peach.

00:28:22Okay?

00:28:24Ben Stiller.

00:28:25Okay, get this straight.

00:28:26Everybody,

00:28:27I don't care who it is,

00:28:28wants to get their hands

00:28:29in some of those peaches

00:28:30if they've ever tasted McClintock peach, okay?

00:28:33Much better. Now continue.

00:28:36Well, the seed for Robbie McClintock's was planted,

00:28:40but Jimmy was torn, confused.

00:28:44Just between his unrequited love for Miranda

00:28:47and the adrenaline rush from the robbery,

00:28:50Jimmy was an emotional, vulnerable, incredibly hurt boy.

00:28:58He was riding a manic-depressive rollercoaster.

00:29:01Very deep, deep lows.

00:29:08And manic, sexy highs.

00:29:13Very manic highs.

00:29:15Excuse me. I'm just going to put this over here.

00:29:19Virus wasn't any help.

00:29:21He was always testing Jimmy with ridiculous hypothetical questions.

00:29:25You were their camp counselor.

00:29:26I certainly was.

00:29:28And I'm here to say that these boys were not evil or vicious.

00:29:31Oh, they weren't geniuses, to be sure.

00:29:33But they had convictions. They had values.

00:29:36Hey, I got one for you.

00:29:38If you had to blow some guy, who would it be?

00:29:40Excuse me?

00:29:41Say you had to blow some guy. Who would you pick?

00:29:43I don't have to blow some guy.

00:29:45Yeah, I know you don't have to, but if you did, who would it be?

00:29:48I try not to entertain that thought,

00:29:50and I don't think it's healthy when you do it.

00:29:51Come on, entertain me for a second.

00:29:53Hey, they got a gun to your head.

00:29:57Well, if they got a gun to my head, odds are I'll be blowing one of them.

00:30:00You're missing my point.

00:30:02Your point? I didn't realize there was a point.

00:30:04Forget about it, all right?

00:30:05No, all right. Who are they? Friends of yours?

00:30:07No.

00:30:08This doesn't make any sense.

00:30:09I don't know. Look, they're just guys, all right?

00:30:11They're like bored frat guys.

00:30:13They're out on a drinking bin, looking for something to do,

00:30:15and somebody gave them a gun.

00:30:17I give up. Who do I want to blow?

00:30:19I don't know.

00:30:20See? Neither do I.

00:30:22You see, that was an essential part of the relationship,

00:30:25the conflict between fantasy and reality.

00:30:28Yeah, well, blowjobs are great, but not between two guys.

00:30:33This isn't about sex. That's not the point.

00:30:35Wrong.

00:30:37That is the point.

00:30:38What? Sex.

00:30:41You gotta have sex.

00:30:43Real sex.

00:30:46Sexy sex.

00:30:48What sex between a guy and a gal?

00:30:52Real sex?

00:30:54Yeah, like Baywatch.

00:30:59Baywatch. That's it.

00:31:02Make it all happen at the beach.

00:31:05The whole picture.

00:31:06You reshoot all the witnesses at the beach.

00:31:10You change the robbery to the beach.

00:31:13Then you make Miranda a sexy, sexy lifeguard.

00:31:18And you send it to me, sealed with a kiss,

00:31:21and I'll get back to you.

00:31:24All you wanted was sex, sex, sex.

00:31:28Really?

00:31:29Ooh, that's three sexes.

00:31:31I always knew he was ambitious.

00:31:33This is very discouraging.

00:31:34What, come on, you ready to give up already, huh?

00:31:37I thought you were a toughie.

00:31:38I thought you had crust like me.

00:31:40That's what I always liked about you.

00:31:41It's just not exactly what I expected.

00:31:43What did you expect?

00:31:44Somebody, the first time you meet them,

00:31:46they're gonna give you money

00:31:47to make a focaccia little movie, huh?

00:31:50Come here. Come here.

00:31:53Come on.

00:31:54Look, this is a tough town.

00:31:58Sweetheart, sit down.

00:31:59Let's go.

00:32:05It just seems like everyone wants to make a different movie

00:32:08than the one that I want to make.

00:32:10Hey, so what?

00:32:12That's the town.

00:32:13Everybody is a critic.

00:32:15They go to screens, and they say,

00:32:17why wasn't so-and-so in that part?

00:32:19Why can't the ending be different?

00:32:22Come here.

00:32:23I'm gonna set you up with Gus Schnuck, the king of schlock.

00:32:26He's not quite right for your picture,

00:32:28but he's not a critic.

00:32:29He wouldn't even pretend to know good from bad.

00:32:31Come on in. Come on in.

00:32:33What do you mean you never heard of a topless toga?

00:32:36What difference does it make?

00:32:37That woman's knockers are so big,

00:32:39you couldn't cover them anyway.

00:32:41Hiya, Judge.

00:32:42Look, Harry, I'm sorry.

00:32:43We're gonna have to talk about this later.

00:32:45I got a meeting now.

00:32:47Yeah, okay, bye.

00:32:48Have a seat, please. Sit down.

00:32:51Meet my assistant.

00:32:52Oh, babe.

00:32:53He started one of my worst pictures.

00:32:55Fuck you.

00:32:56You watch your mouth, you little shit.

00:32:58The picture was terrible, but it made a fortune.

00:33:01He thinks he should get all the money.

00:33:03I'm a star. I'm a star.

00:33:05Shut up.

00:33:06That's a beautiful bird.

00:33:08So, pick up where you left off.

00:33:10You're making this movie now about an armed robbery,

00:33:13the American Dream, your cousin Jimmy.

00:33:15Around that time,

00:33:16almost everyone was talking about McClintock's peach.

00:33:19Peaches are good for you.

00:33:20They're healthy.

00:33:21Go to any health food store, they'll tell you.

00:33:23Peaches are number one.

00:33:24And these, kissed by God.

00:33:26I hate peaches.

00:33:28Not just McClintock's peaches,

00:33:29but all peaches.

00:33:30After all,

00:33:32if there weren't any peaches,

00:33:34Dwayne Allman would be alive today.

00:33:36The whole town had a fruit syndrome

00:33:38that infected everyone,

00:33:41particularly Jimmy and Virus.

00:33:43You could say that Virus caught a Virus.

00:33:50Excuse me, young lady.

00:33:52Is the owner in?

00:33:53Oh, good Lord broke the mold with you two.

00:33:59Well, I'll just put in a French loaf

00:34:03and a couple muffins for you.

00:34:12Miranda was in earlier.

00:34:14Huh.

00:34:14Why don't you just quit your fussing

00:34:17and marry that girl?

00:34:19I did.

00:34:21Oh.

00:34:23And you?

00:34:24You ought to get yourself a steady.

00:34:27Because you're going to catch something

00:34:29that won't wash off.

00:34:31You don't want to grow old alone.

00:34:34No, ma'am.

00:34:36335.

00:34:46When I lost Walter,

00:34:48my life went into a tailspin.

00:34:51I really do miss that man.

00:34:53You know, we did such good business here

00:34:56before McClintock's opened.

00:34:58Can't compete with that

00:34:59God-kissed peach.

00:35:02Hi.

00:35:03McClintock's.

00:35:04Well, McClintock's is really the lifeblood of this town.

00:35:08You know, in large part, that's because of these peaches.

00:35:12These are some of the best peaches in the world.

00:35:14They're really kind of God-kissed, you know?

00:35:17Listen, they pumped the revenue right into this city.

00:35:21Did you get that?

00:35:22You see, the thing is,

00:35:24every city, every major city,

00:35:25has that one special attraction.

00:35:27You know, New York has the Statue of Liberty,

00:35:29and San Antonio has the, you know, the Alamo.

00:35:32We have peaches.

00:35:35Now, this peach...

00:35:37Did you get that?

00:35:38Are we in front of you?

00:35:39This peach...

00:35:40It's eaten by President Ronald Reagan.

00:35:45He came to this city just for the peaches.

00:35:49Actually, well, I think, actually, he was lost.

00:35:52But the point is that he took one bite of that peach,

00:35:57and, well, he had to leave.

00:35:59But I was fortunate,

00:36:00because I grabbed that peach before he left,

00:36:03and it's a little rotted now, you can probably see.

00:36:06But those are his actual teeth marks.

00:36:11I'm pretty sure they were his real teeth.

00:36:14Excuse me, Sarah.

00:36:15Who do you see as a peach expert?

00:36:17Ben Stiller!

00:36:18What are you, a casting director?

00:36:20That's exactly who I saw.

00:36:22Really? Go on.

00:36:24Ben Stiller!

00:36:25Ben Stiller!

00:36:27Not you, you dummy.

00:36:28Her!

00:36:29Please.

00:36:30Fuck you!

00:36:31I'm a star!

00:36:32Ben Stiller!

00:36:33I'm warning you, you're right on the edge.

00:36:35You're gonna get it.

00:36:36I'm sorry.

00:36:37Please, go ahead.

00:36:39As I was saying, by now,

00:36:41Jimmy and Virus had zeroed in on McClintock's,

00:36:43but they were still afraid of getting caught.

00:36:45I feel really good about the plan.

00:36:48I really, you know, feel good about the whole thing.

00:36:50But I also feel like we're gonna get caught.

00:36:52No!

00:36:52Do not do that!

00:36:54Do not do that!

00:36:55Look, I feel like...

00:36:56I'm serious!

00:36:57Don't think that way.

00:36:58Look, I'm just saying...

00:36:59Uh-uh!

00:36:59Oh!

00:37:00Oh!

00:37:01No!

00:37:01I know.

00:37:02You really don't get it, do you?

00:37:03Listen up, Skeeter, I'm gonna tell you once.

00:37:06If you think it, it will happen.

00:37:08Well, now, this Jimmy,

00:37:09could he go psycho like De Niro did at the end of Taxi Driver?

00:37:12You know, I mean, that's something I could sell.

00:37:14Uh, no.

00:37:15But he could.

00:37:16But he didn't.

00:37:16But you're writing it, so he could.

00:37:18But it's a true story, so he didn't.

00:37:19Didn't!

00:37:20Ah!

00:37:20Watch it, watch it.

00:37:22Fuck you!

00:37:23Fuck me!

00:37:23Fuck you!

00:37:24I teach him one bad word, and he goes nuts.

00:37:27Now, what about music?

00:37:28This virus, he could be a musician, you know?

00:37:30Kids love music.

00:37:31I mean, soundtracks can put a movie in the black,

00:37:33even if it's a turkey, you know?

00:37:35Turkey!

00:37:36I got the music in me.

00:37:39I can feel it.

00:37:40I just gotta find it.

00:37:42We all do.

00:37:44No, we all don't.

00:37:46What you're feeling, you see,

00:37:47there's a euphoria that comes along

00:37:49with believing your own bullshit.

00:37:50That's what you're feeling,

00:37:51not the music in you.

00:37:54Well, we mock what we don't understand.

00:37:58You see, because the music, she's my lady.

00:38:02She's my muse.

00:38:06But she's got a whole lot of mean up

00:38:08under that skirt of hers.

00:38:10She taunts me, sits at the end of the bar,

00:38:13and just before we lock, guys, she's gone.

00:38:16She's like a cold cup of coffee.

00:38:19Sweet, sweet music.

00:38:22Jimmy and Virus had meticulously planned a robbery

00:38:25with detail and precision,

00:38:26asking all the tough questions.

00:38:28What does a professional robber need for a robbery?

00:38:31You need a car and you need guns.

00:38:32That's about it.

00:38:33Mayonnaise and mushrooms.

00:38:33I can get a car, but what about guns?

00:38:35Pepsi?

00:38:36Please.

00:38:37I get guns.

00:38:37You can get guns.

00:38:39I get guns.

00:38:40You can get a car?

00:38:41I'll get guns.

00:38:43You can get a car.

00:38:44I can get guns.

00:38:46Then we got a car and we got guns.

00:38:47Sandwich?

00:38:50Car.

00:38:51Guns.

00:38:53Masks.

00:38:54Masks.

00:38:56And she's like, oh, I had trouble parking.

00:38:58It's like, there's hella parking outside.

00:39:01This is your idea for getting a car?

00:39:04What's your problem?

00:39:04I can rent a car and get guns, all right?

00:39:07Can you get guns, Nikki?

00:39:10Don't talk about guns.

00:39:13Sorry.

00:39:15You have to be sorry.

00:39:17Don't talk about guns.

00:39:18You know, it's like hard.

00:39:20I mean, I would have to be too sometimes.

00:39:22See, because she's a liar.

00:39:23Because some people lie.

00:39:24And she said, first, you remember when she was gone?

00:39:27She said she had dirty.

00:39:29Bitch was in Hawaii.

00:39:30I know she was because she came back with a fan.

00:39:33And she was not taking cigarette breaks.

00:39:35She was smoking weed.

00:39:36Because I know what weed smells like.

00:39:38No, that's not the point.

00:39:40Weed smells like, no, weed, it's kind of like sour apple.

00:39:45And it's also kind of like butter.

00:39:48It's kind of like butter and pine.

00:39:50You know, like pine.

00:39:51No, not pine.

00:39:52Pine.

00:39:53The point is, you don't smoke weed at work.

00:39:56You could smoke weed anywhere.

00:39:57You don't smoke weed on your time.

00:39:59You don't smoke weed on my time.

00:40:00You don't smoke weed.

00:40:01Oh, I'm sorry.

00:40:03I'm sorry.

00:40:04I'm sorry.

00:40:04I'll call you back.

00:40:07How sorry.

00:40:08Can I help you?

00:40:08Uh, yes.

00:40:09Good afternoon.

00:40:10Uh, we were quite taken with the Cap'n Amonti we saw outside.

00:40:14Is that considered a midsize?

00:40:25I know how it failed.

00:40:27Of course you do.

00:40:33Which car?

00:40:34Driver's license.

00:40:36Yes.

00:40:36Not on me.

00:40:38You're going to rent a car.

00:40:40It's so funny to me.

00:40:42How's that funny?

00:40:44We can't rent.

00:40:45We don't have money to rent.

00:40:46You don't need money to rent.

00:40:48You pay when you return.

00:40:49What if we don't get money?

00:40:51Then we don't return.

00:40:52That's what they got insurance for.

00:40:54Insurance is bullshit.

00:40:56Good hands, hand job.

00:40:57Reach around, bullshit.

00:41:00I still don't see how renting is funny.

00:41:02Well, it's not funny.

00:41:03It's cheating.

00:41:04Funny and cheating are synonyms.

00:41:07Whatever.

00:41:08Good response.

00:41:09I guess you win.

00:41:11I'll just get Miranda's car.

00:41:13She's pissed at you.

00:41:14We need a car.

00:41:16Why don't they steal a car?

00:41:17I mean, all they do is talk.

00:41:19Not enough action.

00:41:20Too much talk.

00:41:21Talk or talk?

00:41:22I warned you.

00:41:23You shut up now.

00:41:25Look, where's the action?

00:41:26The car chases, the broads, the...

00:41:28The IRS.

00:41:29I told you never, never to mention that.

00:41:33The IRS.

00:41:35All right.

00:41:35That's it.

00:41:36Now I'm going to get you.

00:41:41Miss me.

00:41:42Miss me.

00:41:42Parrot's got his number.

00:41:45The parrot picture made him big money.

00:41:48So he's afraid the parrot's going to rat him out to the IRS.

00:41:51But he can't kill him because he needs him for the sequel.

00:41:54Is everybody in this town nuts?

00:41:5690%.

00:41:59I've got a new strategy for us.

00:42:02This lady gave me my last job, right?

00:42:04She's now a big executive in networks.

00:42:07I don't know.

00:42:09Maybe this could work as a movie of the week docudrama.

00:42:13Darling, I can't make it a moment before nine.

00:42:17Okay.

00:42:19Go on.

00:42:20Jimmy and virus only days away from the robbery.

00:42:22It was clear there was only one thing they could do to stop them.

00:42:26Themselves.

00:42:26Stop right there.

00:42:29Do you have any stars attached?

00:42:32No.

00:42:34Then you're going to need a strong female lead.

00:42:37This woman.

00:42:38Is she more than just a run-of-the-mill wife, girlfriend, mistress?

00:42:41Hooker with a heart of gold.

00:42:42You want a chick flick?

00:42:43I'll give you a chick flick.

00:42:45Oh, she's strong, all right.

00:42:47And there's a lot more where that came from.

00:42:49I told you, Jimmy.

00:42:50Get the fuck out of here.

00:42:51I'm serious.

00:42:53Get out.

00:42:55So she's strong.

00:42:57What about love?

00:42:59Is she in love?

00:43:00Oh, there's love.

00:43:02I got robbed the other day.

00:43:04Good.

00:43:04You deserve it.

00:43:05Now just get out.

00:43:06No, you're right.

00:43:07I promise.

00:43:07I'm going to change Puddin'.

00:43:08I promise.

00:43:09Wait, what did you just call me?

00:43:10Puddin'.

00:43:11Puddin'?

00:43:12No, no, no.

00:43:13You don't have the right to call me Puddin'.

00:43:14No more Puddin'.

00:43:16Okay?

00:43:16It used to be cute.

00:43:17It's not cute anymore, Jimmy.

00:43:19What's not cute about Puddin'?

00:43:21Puddin'.

00:43:21That's cute.

00:43:22Puddin'.

00:43:23Shut up!

00:43:25All right, look.

00:43:26Jimmy, I can't take this anymore, okay?

00:43:28It's been like a year, right?

00:43:30You watch videos all night, you sleep all day, then you hang out with virus.

00:43:33I need more, you know that?

00:43:35So just leave me be, okay?

00:43:37Okay.

00:43:37Do us both a favor.

00:43:38Just get out of my life.

00:43:43I need to borrow the car.

00:43:46What?

00:43:47I need to borrow the car.

00:43:49Well, no.

00:43:50You can't borrow my car.

00:43:53Your car?

00:43:53Yeah, my car.

00:43:55The car.

00:43:57You're so fucking gangly.

00:43:59Oh.

00:44:00You are so beautiful.

00:44:02Oh, Jesus Christ.

00:44:04What are you doing?

00:44:05Get away.

00:44:06I've missed you so much.

00:44:07I don't give a fuck.

00:44:08There's...

00:44:08I have somebody over here.

00:44:10You can't come in...

00:44:10Don't...

00:44:11Don't touch me.

00:44:12Makes me want to puke when you touch me.

00:44:15Get the fuck off me!

00:44:17Get the fuck off me!

00:44:25They're star-crossed lovers.

00:44:27And they're sex.

00:44:31He's...

00:44:44He's...

00:44:45Neighbors.

00:44:57He's...

00:44:59sense. I've got clean, out of state, barely been used product, high resale value. Now,

00:45:11yeah, they might seem a little big, but they're not. You show me some patients, I get you a

00:45:18Smith and Wesson 38. Basically snub no service revolvers get the job done. 38s are not as

00:45:24big as these. Yeah. Hello, ladies. You laughing at me, huh? Huh? You laughing at me? What, am I a

00:45:42clown?

00:45:42Do I amuse you? I'm funny now, huh? You must be laughing at me. I don't see anybody else around

00:45:46here. You're mixing your movies, dipshit. What? You're mixing your movies. Well, no. I'll

00:45:53the fuck do I amuse you, huh? That's Joe Pesci. Joe Pesci wouldn't impact your driver. That's

00:45:59what I'm saying. You're mixing your movies. No, I'm not. Whatever. Whatever. Good response.

00:46:06I guess you win. You know, Jennifer said you'd have 32 revolvers or something. What? Jennifer

00:46:15told me earlier that you have 32 revolvers. Jennifer told me earlier you'd have 32 revolvers.

00:46:19Jennifer told me earlier you have 32 revolvers. Well, guess what, assface. I'm doing you a

00:46:23favor. I could get rid of these guns for at least $300 a piece tonight. You know what?

00:46:31I'll take those. Yeah, yeah, you will. $600 bucks, first of the month. Don't mind me

00:46:35coming looking for you. Kiss. Great. I'm keeping the jacket. You're going to keep the jacket,

00:46:41great. Go on. Get out of here. I got work to do.

00:46:47So, we have sex, love, a felony, and guns. I love guns. But I'm not sure I buy the bit

00:47:00about getting the guns from the girlfriend. Oh, well, I interviewed a gun expert.

00:47:07Oh. I'm all ears. Tell me more. You should buy from a licensed dealer like me. But you can

00:47:16get guns anyway. You want to feel one? Well, if you don't have cold steel relaxing against

00:47:25the fleshy part of your finger. And you just ain't lying. It's hard and shiny. And it has

00:47:33beautiful curls. And it won't yell at you when you're bad. And it won't spank you for talking

00:47:38back. No. And it's your friend. Your best friend. You want to hold one? You know, guns are what

00:47:51made this country great. Don't you agree? Oh. Fibble. Well, I'd rather not. I don't believe in guns.

00:48:02Well, you know, you don't know what it's like until you touch the love shaft of Mr. Smith.

00:48:08I missed it, Wes. Actually, being a girl, it's all right for me not to be into guns.

00:48:14What do you mean, being a girl? That's all the more reason you need one. All these crazies

00:48:19in the streets. You want to be raped? No. You carry a gun. And you hold it in your arms.

00:48:26And you suck on the barrel like it's your mama's titties. I really don't want to do this.

00:48:32What? Oh.

00:48:38That must have been heaven.

00:48:41What? Feeling the gun and actually having it go off in your hand.

00:48:50Well, actually, it scared me to death.

00:48:55You mean you don't like guns?

00:49:04Does that mean you don't want me to continue?

00:49:10Eight.

00:49:11Did I mention I saw Ben Stiller as the peach expert?

00:49:14Love you too, darling.

00:49:16Bye.

00:49:22Maybe we should go the indie route. You can't get a studio picture made these days without big stars.

00:49:27Yet, that has nothing to do with whether the film makes money or loses money. It's all about keeping your

00:49:31job.

00:49:31What do you mean?

00:49:32Well, let's say you got a terrific screen, right? But you put two morons, Jimmy and Virus, in it, right?

00:49:38No studio's going to go for that. Why? Because the film loses money. Then the executive who gave it to

00:49:43Green Light is going to lose his job.

00:49:45On the other hand, you get Tom Hanks or whoever else is the flavor to money. Then the film tanks

00:49:50as Tom Hanks' fault. Or, even better yet, the director.

00:49:54I've got Ben Stiller.

00:49:56Oh. Very nice. That's good. That's a start.

00:49:59So, what do I do?

00:50:00Oh, hold on.

00:50:02Yeah.

00:50:05Oh, Phil. Yeah, look. I got my... I...

00:50:07No, no, no. I know we got this.

00:50:10Uh, Phil, hold on for a second, okay?

00:50:13Listen, this is a long shot.

00:50:15Yeah, I'll call you right back. Just stay where you are. Don't move. Okay? Bye.

00:50:22I don't know why I didn't think about this before.

00:50:25That's my bookie. He's got a network. He puts money in a lot of independent movies.

00:50:29Your bookie?

00:50:30Uh-huh. Well, he books for all the writers. A good friend of mine couldn't pay him, right?

00:50:35So he gave him his script. The picture became a huge hit. The guy is now hooked on movies.

00:50:42Hi. I'm Sarah Wilder. I'm here to see Phil Phillips.

00:50:46Hey, Phil! I'm Miss Sarah Wilder here to see you.

00:50:50Time to write in.

00:50:51Go ahead.

00:51:00Sarah Wilder.

00:51:01Any friend of Lou's is a friend of mine.

00:51:03Actually, I'm his niece.

00:51:03I know that. So Lou told me a little bit about this picture.

00:51:07Are there any cars in it?

00:51:08Yes.

00:51:11Yeah, you did.

00:51:16You know, Blue Smoke played with the Groovegrass Boys.

00:51:18Really?

00:51:19I mean, he could have.

00:51:20He could have made it.

00:51:23Somebody's got the music in him.

00:51:27Not anymore. Let's see him.

00:51:30Just drive.

00:51:31I'm doing stuff over here you couldn't even comprehend.

00:51:34Beretta 9mm?

00:51:37This makes it official.

00:51:38Oh, yeah.

00:51:39We're crooks.

00:51:40That's cool.

00:51:4345, lucky.

00:51:45That's an expensive gun.

00:51:47Only two things nicer than an expensive gun.

00:51:49That'd be your Swiss watch and your pretty girl.

00:51:51What's that pretty girl's name? Is it pretty?

00:51:53Is it pretty?

00:51:54Yeah, Jolly. Yeah, Jolly.

00:51:56Down the ditch, Jolly, Jolly.

00:51:57Down the ditch.

00:51:57Now, Jolly.

00:51:58Howard.

00:52:01That never happens again.

00:52:04Never.

00:52:08We live and die by the risk of the heist.

00:52:10What?

00:52:11We live and die by the risk of the heist.

00:52:12What does that mean?

00:52:14Right now, nothing.

00:52:18How'd they get this car?

00:52:20It was Miranda's car.

00:52:21Jimmy's wife.

00:52:23They didn't steal it or jack it?

00:52:25No.

00:52:26Let me get this straight.

00:52:28They're planning a robbery,

00:52:29and they're gonna use a car that belongs to his wife?

00:52:32What, are they idiots?

00:52:33They aren't the two brightest guys in the world.

00:52:37Hero.

00:52:37Okay, good one.

00:52:39We get in there, and there's a dumb guy who wants to be a hero.

00:52:42Okay, how done with talking?

00:52:43All right, everything's going as planned, right?

00:52:45All right.

00:52:45Smooth as silk, just like clockwork.

00:52:47All of a sudden, some guy hops up off the floor and figures,

00:52:50hey, this is a good time to get in the newspapers.

00:52:52I'll foil this robbery.

00:52:53I'm a hero.

00:52:54I'm a hero.

00:52:54React.

00:52:55Oh, yeah.

00:52:56Oh, yeah.

00:52:57Yeah.

00:52:57All right, you better just dial it down, all right?

00:52:59Just dial it down, numb nuts,

00:53:01before Mr. Thundermaker starts shitting some bullets.

00:53:12Don't worry.

00:53:12Pick another one.

00:53:13It's going great.

00:53:15You're doing well.

00:53:17Pregnant woman's water poops.

00:53:19Pops.

00:53:20Pops.

00:53:20Pregnant woman's water poops.

00:53:22Right.

00:53:23Right.

00:53:24Right.

00:53:25Right.

00:53:25Oh, my God!

00:53:26Right.

00:53:26I'm having my baby!

00:53:27I'm having my baby!

00:53:30Blanket of napalm.

00:53:39Yeah!

00:53:40Yeah!

00:53:41Morons.

00:53:42This picture's about two morons.

00:53:44Jimmy and Virus had practiced and rehearsed the robbery for days.

00:53:48It was the hardest work they'd done since, well, ever.

00:53:51And there was no turning back.

00:53:53This was it their moment of truth. We just parked the car walk the block the location we walk slow

00:53:58We're just two guys walking. What if we see cops? It doesn't matter. We're just two guys walking

00:54:01We're just two guys that happen to be walking we determine the area secure then we move forward

00:54:05We're at the entrance we pull out the guns we run in we grab the money we run out

00:54:08How long are we gonna be there two minutes two minutes tops not two and a half not three two

00:54:12minutes

00:54:23on a Saturday night I keep them in twilight positions riding out at the night got left between and I'm

00:54:28like a featherweight fight

00:54:29You ready? Candy from a baby. Honey Mark. Get set. Go.

00:54:40What's the name of this store please?

00:54:44McClintock's Grocery. Thank you. Or here. They've just done some remodels. It's nice.

00:54:53All right listen up people this is a robbery

00:54:57We don't want any trouble so if you want to be stupid let's do it now and get it over

00:55:03with

00:55:05Look nobody plays tough guy but me all right we have a gun and we got a car okay so

00:55:12we live and die

00:55:12by the risk of the heist hey fellas no need for all the shouting if you're here for the peaches

00:55:19i'm sure

00:55:20we can work something out i think i'm speaking for the group when i say nobody here wants to take

00:55:26a bullet

00:55:27i know i don't hey you need to do some shopping great time

00:55:34look he's cool let's go huh just like we planned look wipe that curly joe smile off your stupid

00:55:39melon and just open the register now you don't have to take that lawrence shut up

00:55:43you apron wearing fake tooth pie bacon whoa whoa whoa come on you don't have to be mean they'll do

00:55:49what

00:55:49we say we got guns back off you beanpole ichabod cream mother i don't remember rehearsing this part

00:55:57this whole thing was your idea so if i don't meet your expectations of what a professional

00:56:00grocery store robber should be i'd like to take this time to apologize in front of all the fine

00:56:04folks here at mclintox hey everybody peaches on me hey uh well we're a little behind but we're still

00:56:17professionals we deserve better than this no you don't but you know what does this cow this cow

00:56:25deserves better than this you and your big mclintox market i got raw meat i am crazy so let's make

00:56:33with

00:56:33that cash and coin colonel tom i do it he ain't right come on all of it safe too you

00:56:37want to

00:56:38pitch in and help all right now see this is why i wanted you to go to there's no time

00:56:43for that dear

00:56:43now these fellows seem to be in a hurry let's all pitch in come on geez come on there's a

00:56:50few more

00:56:50dollars we're gonna save to give to the church but you might as well take the whole thing

00:57:08more runs these are the two dumbest guys i ever heard of it appeared that jimmy and virus had

00:57:14actually pulled off a successful robbery without getting caught anything to do with mclintox was a

00:57:19big story in town so tell us were you at the robbery or not yeah yeah i was there okay

00:57:29is that

00:57:29what you want to hear i was there in the store when the three guys burst in wearing ski masks

00:57:34pointing

00:57:34guns and shouting okay we were there and uh i didn't see a lot do you see a lot no

00:57:40i didn't really see a

00:57:41lot no no well i thought they were after the misses at first i didn't know what was going on

00:57:46my first

00:57:47thought of course was was the peaches and then i thought the misses because you never know what

00:57:52two men like this desperate are going to do with a beautiful young woman like this you didn't get a

00:57:56good uh see him you know a good eyeball if you will you know on account of the circumstances

00:58:04circumstances who might get in the eye you know let's talk turkey i'm a freak well i remember them i

00:58:10remember that day was really a bad day for me because i was here by myself because somebody else

00:58:18wasn't here with me so it was all different so i remember that day was really distinctly i'd stick

00:58:23the peaches up my acid would do something sir i'd have a whole crate up my rectal vault if i

00:58:31meant that

00:58:31i didn't have this freaking eye okay i stole five peaches is that it is that what you want to

00:58:39hear

00:58:39i stole five peaches all right what did you want me to do they were rolling around the floor like

00:58:44a

00:58:44bunch of valleys what was i supposed to do everybody was taking them the samoan took three yeah there was

00:58:51a

00:58:51big samoan yeah i'm pretty sure we're a really big filipino excuse me mm-hmm jack yeah mm-hmm big

00:59:07sky

00:59:08jim in the fourth mm-hmm something fishy okay no more action in the fourth excuse me anyway the initial

00:59:1948 hours after the robbery were crucial how jimmy and virus would act would either mean a successful

00:59:24getaway or prison do what yeah being pulled ichabod crane motherfucker yeah i wanted to uh

00:59:37talk to you about that because we should definitely discuss that yeah because

00:59:43i got really swept up in the moment and i'm not proud of it but the guy in that store

00:59:49standing on

00:59:50that counter and just shouting berating you and the guy sitting on this counter um talking to you

01:00:00um are two different guys where's the fella done all the hollering love to have a little chinwag with him

01:00:08um well he asked me to tell you that he's sorry and he won't be coming around here anymore i

01:00:15know that much

01:00:18that you can he and he also asked me

01:00:25to give you this a little bit that that's what he was

01:00:37be sure and tell him thank you i definitely will and i would also like to take you out

01:00:45to dinner or something like that you know i can't even believe we're having this conversation look me

01:00:51in the eye and tell me i've never ever slept with miranda i don't believe you i give up you

01:01:02give up

01:01:02because you know i'm right do you honestly think if i'd ever had sex with her even before we met

01:01:08i

01:01:08wouldn't have brought it up that sucks let's talk about something else no don't not stop it just put it

01:01:20out of your mind and think about kennedy taking a bullet to the back of the head it's science

01:01:25valid science it's been proven you're a dick i'm a dick you're a dick then you're my balls sunshine we

01:01:33can ask trade

01:01:37sean connery why sean connery it's the only answer how do you figure

01:01:47you're out of some abandoned warehouse right these guys got a gun to your head because you

01:01:51got to blow one of them bring me sean connery then before you begin the actual blow you look

01:01:58up at sean like okay sean i'm gonna give you the signal we drop these guys and get the hell

01:02:03out of

01:02:03here it's foolproof yeah uh what if sean's not with you at least you're blowing one of the grapes huh

01:02:16this is a up conversation hey phil somebody here to see you oh frankie c frankie c jesus christ send

01:02:25him

01:02:25back frankie you son of a bitch say hello to sarah i was just leaving no no you stay

01:02:38she's telling me about this movie she's got this movie idea you know she's lou's niece you remember

01:02:42lou nice guy she's telling me this story about her idiot cousin go ahead tell them they just knocked off

01:02:49a peach store actually it's a grocery store that's specialized in peaches whatever whatever go ahead

01:03:01you can't tell me you don't think about getting caught what are you doing i asked you not to do

01:03:07that you can't tell me you don't think about it oh that's great thanks a lot you jinxed us that's

01:03:22what are you doing i'm leaving you tainted the roof now i can never come up here again and i

01:03:29paid my rent

01:03:31we're not jinxed turn to the right

01:03:40when i first heard jimmy was involved i didn't want to believe it i don't even know what you guys

01:03:47are doing here because uh jimmy and i are completely done we were totally separated so

01:03:52i don't really have anything to tell you

01:03:59okay wait wait wait wait wait so you're gonna send those pictures to the cops jimmy's gonna love

01:04:06this what are you kidding me the cops are looking all over for me right so by sending them pictures

01:04:10it shows i'm not scared it's the risk of the hunt baby do not baby are you insane they see

01:04:17the photos

01:04:18with me and you and they're gonna put two and two together it's me they're after that's right i don't

01:04:23even know you that's right you don't know me why are you advertising our affiliation patty patty

01:04:29sweet innocent patty look i want you to know that no matter what happens to me i'm not gonna forget

01:04:36about you where are you from what are you not understanding they see the photos with me on your

01:04:42lap god i know this is tough for you you know but i need you to stand tall and be

01:04:48strong and know

01:04:49that no matter what happens all right when a tear runs down your face it's not a tear

01:04:53okay it's me just saying i love you do you understand what i'm saying okay yeah i think

01:04:58i get it now great okay well i gotta run pretty face

01:05:18hello yes who am i speaking with please well hello officer sturgis this is dick tangle and i need you

01:05:24to do

01:05:24me a favor if you could come and find me you fat donut eating wife beating sad excuse for a

01:05:30cop 10-4 10-4

01:05:3110-4 10-4

01:05:34take off the glasses

01:05:43uh excuse me uh but this guy uh cyrus virus his name's virus yeah virus cyrus yeah you say he

01:05:51went to

01:05:52the cops morons i told you well not exactly everyone had their own opinion on that feats of courage

01:05:59combined with nobility of purpose that's what these boys are about you you they they don't sit there in

01:06:06judgment judging other people's idiosyncrasies they're confident you what do you do you ask questions

01:06:12they don't ask questions they give answers they do something you would do well to be more like them that

01:06:19boy just wasn't right in the head he used to come in here all the time and just be you

01:06:25know handling the

01:06:26breads of course when he was little he sure did fall down a lot when his daddy was home

01:06:34virus i don't know him so what do you think motivated him to rob mcclintox

01:06:40i said i know him i'm not his mama you know virus and i have this really special connection that

01:06:46um

01:06:47that jimmy just he can't understand it you know what i mean he's so lost

01:06:54you know this place wouldn't be so depressing if you guys just chose a different color scheme

01:06:59maybe get away from your pastels because a dark color in a dark place that equals equals dark

01:07:07you guys need to get brighter

01:07:12your yellows burst of orange your blues make a man stay go quicker you know truman i'd be willing to

01:07:19sit down with your commanding officer and discuss it with him if you think it would help move things

01:07:22along a bit whatever whatever good response i guess you win right

01:07:43got your letter see him at truman

01:07:48you got us caught you got us caught you jinxed us as your attorney i should tell you that this

01:07:55is

01:07:55my first case and i'm lost for words i have no idea what to do and that worries me is

01:08:03everybody in

01:08:04this picture an idiot i was just trying to tell the story like how it happened nobody could be that

01:08:08stupid well you had to know him especially jimmy that's his nature you see they're very good people

01:08:14they just got in trouble for the wrong reasons and that's the point i want to make in the film

01:08:18if this goes to trial we'll need to create some doubt we need people to speak on your behalf and

01:08:24no one's willing to do that oh there's gonna be somebody they're wonder they're mentioned you know

01:08:30what a mensch is that's what those boys are you would do well to be more like them

01:08:35you're boring you they're on the roof what what are you saying you on the roof we need you to

01:08:40come

01:08:40down now well are you my three i'm sorry i think it's my three o'clock are you the goodmans

01:08:47yes we're

01:08:49the goodman i'm sarah this is my husband lester now please come down off the roof i'm sorry that's

01:08:56my three o'clock okay i'll be there in a jiffy okay see either you got it or you don't

01:09:03got it

01:09:04and this kid virus he sure don't got it you know jimmy pretty much did the whole thing to impress

01:09:09me

01:09:10i mean he's just sort of driven by his love for me and he's so gangly you know it's like

01:09:17a little

01:09:18thin i don't know anyway mcclintocks are well respected in the community and you two have pissed

01:09:24off that community those god-kissed peaches put this city on the map they said let's have everything in

01:09:31the in the safe well i i handed to them they were out the door and i want to say

01:09:35i let you down i

01:09:37didn't give you everything i had in the safe and i was going to run after them and the missus

01:09:41said no

01:09:43they made their bed let them lie in it no we added that to the insurance

01:09:50gentlemen i've gone over your case almost three times and i'm sorry to say but i don't see any

01:09:56loopholes there's no way around this evidence you're going to be in here for a while either

01:10:01you were born with the gift or you're not i hate to break it to you you were born without

01:10:06the gift

01:10:08oh oh sinner man can't you hear me say oh god oh so you're jealous yeah you're jealous because

01:10:22i unleashed the music in me kill me somebody anybody please kill me all right lights out

01:10:35me too oh and uh whose bright idea was it to send those photographs to the police

01:10:46they knew you were mocking them yes i know virus yes we slept together i got it lit great and

01:10:56yes that

01:10:56may be me in the picture with him but the money i was counting is my money money i busted

01:11:01my

01:11:03ass to get i'm not gonna bullshit you quit i'm sorry you're not sorry you always keep at me and

01:11:12amy picking at me i wanted to touch you just shut up you fucking retard i'm not retarded look i'm

01:11:19not

01:11:19you are retarded you are retarded i've got some some schooling i've got some schooling don't lose hope

01:11:28fellas because listen from what i've heard there's a judge in the fifth circuit court who can maybe

01:11:33get you a lighter sentence maybe as little as eight years jimmy and virus tried to make the best of

01:11:41their

01:11:41incarceration they started a congenial con policy and tried to meet at least one new felon a day

01:11:47with this new approach they met arsonists armed robbers and even some interesting murderers

01:11:53are you harold jagged who wants to know my name's jimmy oh yeah you and your buddy rob mclintox

01:12:02yeah that took balls yeah say harold uh what if i ask you a question no i didn't kill my

01:12:15grandma

01:12:17i know i talked a lot about it i even write about it in my journal but that's because that's

01:12:22what i

01:12:22am a writer not a killer now that i'm in here i can write all i want past the time

01:12:29i do a bit of

01:12:30reading too i read i'm a reader you look like joe perry from aerosmith

01:12:45uh what kind of stuff you read you know i like to read a lot of books about you know

01:12:49leadership and

01:12:51free thinking they taught me to realize it's what i am you know yeah i do know yeah i mean

01:12:57it's your

01:12:57life you want to live it on your terms right yeah i think of myself as a sure thinker you

01:13:02know a

01:13:02leader you know my grandma though man she was always telling me what to do you know i hated that

01:13:08i don't like people telling me what to do i'm the same way finally i meet somebody who gets it

01:13:13yeah because i'm a leader not a follower i don't follow i don't follow i lead i'm the same way

01:13:19did i kill my grandma no no i didn't kill her man oh man but sometimes she just wouldn't let

01:13:27up you know follow me around the house like a parrot on my shoulder you know into my ear every

01:13:33five minutes you know don't forget to dot your i's don't forget to cross your t's you know she'd

01:13:38jump on a vein and suck it dry you know what i'm saying over and over tomato dumplings

01:13:45huh why why would it why would any woman get up in the morning and decide that i like tomato

01:13:52dumplings what's up with that i never even knew what one was until it showed up on my plate huh

01:13:57what kind of sick game is she playing huh i didn't kill her you know what whoever did kill her

01:14:03man

01:14:03they were right on man this journal this journal's my escape this journal's my way out huh the only way

01:14:11to keep my head clear is to write short stories about corking up her mouth hole huh

01:14:24what are you working on now oh it's a short story about my brother's wife it's called you and your

01:14:29goddamn pies okay i'm gonna step off for a minute i gotta keep going uh harold i want you to

01:14:37have a very

01:14:38nice day it's supposed to rain yeah hey you know hitler was a leader

01:14:47okay are we rolling okay uh hey jimmy jimmy pay attention okay i want to ask you a question

01:14:56what what were you thinking what are you look you know we're we weren't waiting around for any handouts

01:15:05if that's what you mean you know we saw what we wanted and we went out and took it that's

01:15:09what makes

01:15:09america america you see something you want and you figure out how to get it and i did what i

01:15:15did

01:15:16i didn't like people telling me what to do hey jimmy break's over you got a prison to paint let's

01:15:22go

01:15:24well you know looking back on it now i suppose i suppose i do some things differently

01:15:33you know i don't even know if i'd do it again

01:15:54what do you want

01:15:57well i wanted to see you and i figured you'd want to see me too

01:16:00why would i want to see you because uh you know he told me to get my

01:16:06together and i have you've been here five months you're in jail i don't call that getting your

01:16:11together

01:16:14i'm a professional and i wrote you a poem

01:16:20oh no don't you're not gonna read it are you jimmy jimmy you have sunk to new depths jimmy jimmy

01:16:25if you read that we are both gonna be so embarrassed okay no we won't yes i will

01:16:32so if you want to give me something just just make me a license plate or something

01:16:37my miranda by jimmy cookie

01:16:43poor sweet thing i've put you through so much i want nothing more than just to feel your touch okay

01:16:50please don't do this jimmy jimmy please when i'm thinking of you and my heart is breaking

01:16:56they tell me to shut up get back to raking

01:17:03so for the state in my filth i've wallowed and for you my love my pride i've swallowed

01:17:12okay that's that's just darling i think this can't be true i shouldn't be here i should be at home

01:17:20protecting you

01:17:23but i'm not

01:17:26oh my god i gotta get out of here card thanks for listening and making the long drive i really

01:17:32appreciate it careful on the drive home people are nuts out there

01:17:44okay i love you this summer virus comes over and he's like helping me paint the kitchen right and um

01:17:51jimmy gets in his head that uh i want to sleep with virus which would kill virus right i mean

01:17:57he he's just so pathetic hey virus virus you help me out here there's uh something i'm not clear on

01:18:11let's hear it was that me that was always thinking about us getting caught or was i the one who

01:18:17said

01:18:17if you think it it'll happen because uh i remember hearing it i just don't remember if that was me

01:18:23saying it to you are you saying it to me oh right right now i remember right right i was

01:18:29the one who

01:18:30said nothing exists thinking makes it so you were the one who kept willing us to get caught that's right

01:18:37now i got it right and did we get caught i forget sure sure we did right we're we're raking

01:18:47because we

01:18:48have to not because we enjoy it right we're in prison right now that's right so i was right

01:18:57and you got us caught right that's right okay okay right hey virus do me a favor would you do

01:19:07not

01:19:07think about us dying a slow painful death in prison okay and above all don't think about what's in your

01:19:13heart heart heart your heart cause that's where us getting caught lives admit it rockstar you got us

01:19:20caught

01:19:24yeah i guess so

01:19:27oh what's that son i i i can't hear you what are you deaf son no i'm not deaf i

01:19:33was just thinking

01:19:35about fucking miranda you ass

01:19:46the only thing that kept jimmy going was blaming virus for jinxing them and to get out by any means

01:19:52possible escape if necessary just a couple of cons i'm sweeping don't want no trouble here boss because

01:19:58i'm just a sweeper look at all the trash you ready ready i'm ready get set go

01:20:32you you said it wasn't electrified i was kidding i was kidding

01:20:49i'm not gonna bullshit you i don't have the time and if you touch me

01:20:55don't worry and you don't have the film but if you need some i can hook you up

01:21:01not good film though it's a really cheap film yeah take it from a retard

01:21:05cheap he knows about film quality i do i'm a savant

01:21:13there you make a wish

01:21:18now i still got the fucking eye yeah i was there i'm really glad those guys rob mclintox

01:21:24as far as i'm concerned those boys did a service to the community those boys are heroes

01:21:30jimmy and virus big day finally arrived their first meeting in front of the parole board

01:21:35well i hope you've learned a few things while you're in here in the last six months

01:21:40absolutely sure do all right i'll take that as a yes yes okay

01:21:47and since neither of you actually use any live ammo i suppose we have no choice but to reluctantly

01:21:57return you to society we uh never intended to harm anyone we respect that and appreciate your honesty

01:22:06now once you go through that door to the outside i don't want to see you back in here again

01:22:13not while i'm here and i'm going to be here all right that's all

01:22:30what if they can't find sean connery then it's considered a forfeit

01:22:35but come on that doesn't make any sense and i'd pick churchill you know everybody picks some guy

01:22:41they know they can't get that's cheating you're making up these rules as you go along i think

01:22:46that's your opinion come on you're making up the rules opinion i got you a little some something

01:22:53what thanks wow a mississippi blue smoker ludica yeah but these are commemoratives they only made a

01:23:03million of these i was able to track one down wow i'm gonna head in uh let her know i'm

01:23:09home show

01:23:10her this oh she's gonna love that i get a feeling she is yeah i'll get that all right take

01:23:17care

01:23:35this is the right thing you be strong see you man yeah seriously it's been fun had a blast

01:23:42right back at you take it easy me too you know we'll do it again good luck thank you

01:24:23i told you jimmy get the fuck out of here serious get out

01:24:48oh i'm just gonna look over here i like it

01:24:57so that's how it got me it might not be the best film in the world but it's my first

01:25:01film and i got it

01:25:02made i love frankie and phil for giving me a chance and of course my uncle lou so if you're

01:25:08someone like me who wants to make a movie find an uncle lou

01:25:11or better yet find a bookie who has an auto repair shop who loves the moon

01:25:18uncle lou we did it

01:25:33you're killing me you're like a bank you always pay off ha ha ha you're killing me you know that

01:25:40you're

01:25:40busting my balls get a good count get a good count yeah i got the big wish cover don't worry

01:25:43but i'll take it

01:25:44oh it's all right i love you anyway you don't touch

01:25:48i think it's all day

01:25:50it's all day

01:25:51it's all day

01:26:16it's all day

01:26:34it's all day

01:26:37it's all day

01:27:13it's all day

01:27:15so

01:27:15And the show don't go

01:27:18Too much weight on your nose

01:27:19Then they act like you know

01:27:21But it's all for sure

01:27:24And the show don't go

01:27:27Nobody knows

01:27:29Sometimes in life there's questions nobody knows

01:27:33How to explain the things that nobody knows

01:27:38People these days they play and act like you know

01:27:41But nobody, not even you woman

01:27:44Nobody knows

01:27:46Sometimes in life there's questions nobody knows

01:27:50How to explain the things that nobody knows

01:27:55People these days they play and act like you know

01:27:59But nobody, not even you woman

01:28:01Nobody knows

01:28:02Nobody knows

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