He Chose His Sister-in-law, Now He Begs for My love [Full Movie]

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He Chose His Sister-in-law, Now He Begs for My love   #Shorts #Short_Drama

Transcript

00:00:00In 1861, all of Charleston, from the Battery Wharfs to the Ashley Plantations, knew the legend of my husband, Major

00:00:07Reed Ashford, the second son of the South's largest planter.

00:00:10They said, he was a man undone by his wife. For me, he would forfeit the world.

00:00:15When a planter's son humiliated me at a ball, Ryad disarmed him in a dawn duel, standing unflinningly before loaded

00:00:22barrels to defend my honor.

00:00:25When outlaws ambushed my carriage, Ryad braved deadly swamps alone, returning blood-splared at dawn to banish my fear of

00:00:34the dark.

00:00:38Forced into marriage to clear debts, Ryad bought my freedom with half his lands, then rode through a raging storm

00:00:46to snatch me from the altar.

00:00:49I believed I'd be happy forever, until his brother's bewidowed wife wanted to have a baby with him.

00:00:57Three years into our marriage, Rethi's elder brother Theodore Ashford lay wasting away.

00:01:02And an old Gungle root woman from the Sea Islands told the true mister of the house, Madam Ashford,

00:01:07that only a child born of the family's bloodline through the brother's wife could call him back from the grave.

00:01:12But the brother's wife? Camellia could not bear that child by a dying man.

00:01:17She would have to bear it by right. The matriarch's grip tightened on her othony cane.

00:01:23Send for my second son.

00:01:25A maid ran. The parlor doors closed closed upon a council of women.

00:01:30In the upstairs sitting room, I laid down my embroidery hoop.

00:01:33The needle had pricked my thumb, and a single bead of blood was rising on the skin.

00:01:38I watched it gather, fall, and stain the white linen of Rhee's monogrammed handkerchief,

00:01:44the one I had been mending for him all wintered her.

00:01:46The maid came rushing upstairs, breathless, one hand clutching the baronister,

00:01:50as if she might collapse where she stood.

00:01:53Mrs. Eleanor, Madam Ashford has made her decision.

00:01:56She means for Mrs. Camille to bear the family heir by Mr. Raid.

00:02:00The room fell into a dead, suffocating silence.

00:02:03On my lap, the fresh bead of blood finally sank deep into the fabric,

00:02:08completely drowning Rhee's monogrammed initials in crimson.

00:02:11Camille? My sister-in-law?

00:02:14How could they be sending her to my husband's bed?

00:02:20Reed went from the parlor to the family chapel without removing his greatcoat.

00:02:24He laid his revolver at his own breastbone.

00:02:26As God is my witness, I would sooner die than betray Eleanor.

00:02:29The chaplain wept. The servants wept.

00:02:33Madam Ashford did not weep.

00:02:35She had me brought down to the courtyard in nothing but my morning dress, barefoot,

00:02:38and made to stand upon the ice-stiffened gravel.

00:02:40Until my son can honor his brother's line, he will not move from this place.

00:02:44The first hour, my mind was clear.

00:02:47By the second, the cold had moved into my bones.

00:02:50By the fourth, the frost had split the soles of my feet,

00:02:52and thin red ravens crept across the gravel beneath me.

00:02:55I stood three days, no bread, no water.

00:02:57The January rain came down once and then turned to sleep and froze upon my shoulders.

00:03:01Madam Ashford set a chair beneath the Pianso Colonnade and sat, and watched, and waited.

00:03:05A hundred yards away, in the family chapel,

00:03:08Reed had been locked in without food or water or a fire,

00:03:11forbidden to leave until he consented.

00:03:13His mother visited him each morning with the codicil papers in her hand.

00:03:17He bore the cold and the hunger in silence.

00:03:32He came across the flagstones with a slow, deliberate step,

00:03:35of a man not certain his legs would carry him to where he needed to go.

00:03:37The servants drew back from him as from something holy or contagionous.

00:03:41He stopped before me and knelt on the gravel at my feet.

00:03:43In his right hand was the service revolver.

00:03:45He held it out to me, but first.

00:03:47I have submitted to Mother's arrangement.

00:03:49If you despise me for it, end my life now.

00:03:51Shoot me dead.

00:03:52My lips were too cracked to part.

00:03:54I love you to madness, Eleanor.

00:03:56I cannot bear to see you broken and punished again because of me.

00:03:59The cold iron of the pistol bit into my palm, and the tears finally broke.

00:04:03But I would endure a thousand more lashes, Reed,

00:04:05before I ever watch you beget a child upon our sister-in-law.

00:04:08He squeezed my hand.

00:04:09The hammer fell.

00:04:10Blood flowered through the linen of his shirt.

00:04:12I screamed without sound.

00:04:14He staggered, white as bone, and let me gather him into my arms.

00:04:17I wept.

00:04:18I did not know how long.

00:04:20I kissed his face.

00:04:21Master Reed!

00:04:22Fetch cloth and paragol.

00:04:24I begged the maids for clean cloth, for paraglant, for a surgeon.

00:04:27I swear this on the wound itself.

00:04:29I will lie with her once, for the child, and never look at her again.

00:04:32She is a stage actress from the New Orleans halls.

00:04:35A creature dredged up from the gas-lit gutters,

00:04:37whose virtue he was sold to the highest bidder long before she ever set foot in this house.

00:04:40She is nothing to me.

00:04:42He kissed my forehead,

00:04:44and walked, with the wound still wet,

00:04:47across the courtyard to Camille Ashford's wing.

00:04:49The household by sundown had a new story to whisper.

00:04:52Compared to Eleanor, Reed seemed to favor Camille more.

00:04:55You smell of her tears, right?

00:04:57But tonight you are mine.

00:04:59Then let me forget her.

00:05:00Touch me.

00:05:01Make me believe you are the only one.

00:05:03The maid who carried up the linen said the bedchamber smelled like a hot room.

00:05:06I lay alone in our bed with the deed of separation.

00:05:08I had so readily demanded some hours before.

00:05:11I wept until the ink ran.

00:05:14Sometime past midnight I rose,

00:05:15lit a candle in the sylvine chamber stack my mother had given me on my wedding day.

00:05:19The papers, still wet, I carried pressed against my breast.

00:05:21I stopped at the carved oak door of Camille's sitting room.

00:05:24The corridor behind me was empty of servants.

00:05:27Even the nightmaid had been dismissed.

00:05:29I raised my hand to knock,

00:05:31and heard, through the door, Camille's laugh.

00:05:34What she said next dragged me straight into hell.

00:05:38You are such a bad boy.

00:05:40Staging a whole shooting with a sack of bullock's blood in front of your own wife,

00:05:44making her weep over your corpse,

00:05:45and then you came straight here to me.

00:05:47She is sentimental.

00:05:49She believes what lives, whatever she has shown.

00:05:51All the obstacles have been cleared away.

00:05:53All theater.

00:05:54Mother and I arranged it months ago.

00:05:56The gongo woman was paid in gold the night before.

00:05:59The prophecy was written for her to recite.

00:06:01The cold, the chapel, the wound, every thread of it sown for you.

00:06:05A whole year of slipping into your rooms by the backstair.

00:06:09And now I am to be the lady of a wing.

00:06:12I would marry you twice over for it.

00:06:14Take what you want and ask for nothing more.

00:06:16Most of all, Eleanor is never to know.

00:06:18If she so much has suspected the truth, I will shoot you dead where you stand.

00:06:22The candle in my hand trembled.

00:06:24The light walked along the carved oak panels and the gild of the picture frames and would not be still.

00:06:30Wright, who for my sake has been sleeping with Kamel for a whole year?

00:06:33Was every single bit of it just a lie?

00:06:35I took three steps backward, away from the door.

00:06:38On the fourth step, the floor was no longer there.

00:06:40I fell on the fourth step, hit the polished heart pine boards on my ruined feet and crumpled.

00:06:44The candlestick rolled away from me.

00:06:46The flame goodled, caught upon my sleeve, smothered against the wool of my dress as I crumpled.

00:06:50I drifted for three days between sleeping and waking, unable to close the distance.

00:06:54In that place, Camille knelt beside the bed and held Madam Ashford's hand.

00:06:57I heard them as a swimmer hears voices above the water.

00:06:59She is with child, Mother Ashford.

00:07:02The root woman was certain.

00:07:03Only the child I bear can save Theodore.

00:07:06If Eleanor's child is born first, the cure is broken.

00:07:09My poor Theodore will die.

00:07:12Madam Ashford's cane struck the floor.

00:07:15Send her to a physician.

00:07:17I will not allow the child in her womb to affect my Theodore's destiny.

00:07:23Mother, stop!

00:07:25Those doctors are men.

00:07:26I will not have a man's hands upon her body.

00:07:28Not for any reason.

00:07:29A simple draught is enough to rid her of the child.

00:07:31I will give it to her myself.

00:07:38He came to the bedside.

00:07:40I felt his weight upon the mattress, the familiar dip of it.

00:07:43He lifted my head with a tenderness I remembered from a thousand mornings and held a small porcelain cup to

00:07:48my lips.

00:07:49I fought with everything in me to open my eyes, to scream, to beg him to spare my child, only

00:07:54to find, with a curching despair, that it was all in vain.

00:07:58The taste was bitter.

00:08:00The taste was bitter.

00:08:00Cloves.

00:08:01Cloves.

00:08:01Penny-hairy.

00:08:02The faint, hateful sweetness of Paragassic to mask the rest.

00:08:05My body knew the compound before my mind could name it.

00:08:08My fingers tried to close around his wrist.

00:08:11They were too weak.

00:08:12I felt the warmth of the drug spread out from my stomach into the cold parts of me.

00:08:16I felt the small, intricate thing inside me go quiet, then go still, then go away.

00:08:19Sleep now, Eleanor.

00:08:21Pretend this child never came.

00:08:23He laid my head back upon the pillow.

00:08:25He smoothed my hair.

00:08:27When I woke fully three mornings later, the chamber was empty.

00:08:30Brooke sat weeping at the foot of the bed.

00:08:31Great, the maid said.

00:08:32Had taken Madame Bowman down to New Orleans on the noon train to celebrate the coming air and to consult

00:08:36a city physician about Camille's own condition.

00:08:38I looked at the wash base.

00:08:39I washed my face in the cold basin.

00:08:42I dressed in black.

00:08:43I tied my hair back with a strip of morning croup.

00:08:46Then I walked the length of the corridor to Madame Ashford's morning room and asked with great courtesy for the

00:08:52deed of separation.

00:08:53I am more than willing to step aside for Camille and Wreath.

00:08:58I beg you, Madame, help me and make him sign the deed of separation.

00:09:02There is a steamer bound for Europe next month.

00:09:05You will take it and you will never set foot before my son again as long as you breathe.

00:09:09To ensure there are no complications.

00:09:13Black is to know absolutely nothing of this before you say it.

00:09:16You have my devious gratitude, Madame, for finally granting my request.

00:09:23Reed and Camille returned at dusk a fortnight later.

00:09:25The carriage rolled through the great gates of Ashford Manor in the failing light,

00:09:29and the household lined up along the Live Oak Drive as for any homecoming.

00:09:32Camille descended first, gloved and radiant.

00:09:35Reed followed.

00:09:36At her throat beneath the high lace collar was a livid mark she had not been able to powder away.

00:09:40The fortnight in New Orleans had left its mark on them both.

00:09:43Late suppers.

00:09:45Late mornings.

00:09:46The langui of those city rooms still clinging to their clothes.

00:09:50I stood waiting beneath the colonid piazza in my morning gown.

00:09:54Spanish moss stirring in the live oaks above me.

00:09:57The servants watched without seeming to.

00:10:00Reed crossed the gravel and would have taken my hands.

00:10:02I did not give them.

00:10:04He pretended not to notice and produced instead, from the inner pocket of his great coat, a small dark glass

00:10:09bottle.

00:10:10A European tonic.

00:10:11Every fashionable lady in New Orleans is taking it.

00:10:13It restores the constitution after illness.

00:10:16Drink it for me.

00:10:17I accepted the bottle.

00:10:19The glass was warm from his body.

00:10:23I uncarked it.

00:10:24The smell rose.

00:10:25Wine and something darker beneath the wine.

00:10:27My Paris training spoke before my tongue could.

00:10:30Herba.

00:10:30Sustained doses of herb of rye.

00:10:32Masked in chlora and honeysuckle.

00:10:34A woman fed this compound through a winter would bleed quietly for the rest of her life.

00:10:39Not killed.

00:10:40Made permanently, invisibly ill.

00:10:42Made unfit to be touched by any man.

00:10:44Made nothing.

00:10:45Camille came up the steps in a hand at Reed's elbow.

00:10:48All the finest ladies in New Orleans are taking it, dear.

00:10:50Finish every drop.

00:10:52Do not be ungrateful.

00:10:53Not killed.

00:10:54Made permanently, invisibly ill.

00:10:56Right.

00:10:57This medicine.

00:10:58Must I drink it?

00:10:58He had already slaughtered my child with his own hands.

00:11:02Severing every shred of love I once held for him.

00:11:04Was he truly intent on driving me into an early grave now?

00:11:07I looked at my husband.

00:11:09He met my gaze without lowering his own.

00:11:11There was a flicker behind his eyes.

00:11:14A thing he did not allow to surface.

00:11:16I raised the bottle.

00:11:18I drank it.

00:11:19I drank every drop.

00:11:20Slowly.

00:11:21While they watched me.

00:11:22While the cold January wind moved the dead Magnalia leaves across the Piansa boards.

00:11:27I lowered the empty bottle and set it on the Piazza rail between us.

00:11:30I know what this is.

00:11:32And I know what it does.

00:11:34We are done.

00:11:36Ride.

00:11:39Before I blacked out, I vaguely saw Reed panic.

00:11:43What do you mean, done?

00:11:46Before the darkness swallowed me whole, I learned the horrific truth from their whispers.

00:11:53They had traveled to New Orleans to consult a voodoo queen.

00:11:57The witch told them that if they used my bed, this our marriage bed, for seven secutive nights,

00:12:02the soul of my slaughtered child would be summoned back, reborn into Camille's womb.

00:12:07They took my room.

00:12:09They desecrated my bed.

00:12:12You are a cruel man, right?

00:12:14That tincture, taken for weeks, will ensure she bleeds dry from the inside out.

00:12:19Her body will wither, and no man will ever be able to lay a finger on her again.

00:12:24Poor, wretched Elinor.

00:12:27Elinor belongs to me.

00:12:29Even if I never touch her again, I would rather see her rot than let another man possess her.

00:12:35In my half-conscious state, hatred burned so hot that blood seeped from the cracked corner of my mouth.

00:12:46The next morning, not long after Reed and Camille departed, I woke.

00:12:50From my bed, I heard the maids quarreling in the courtyard below my window.

00:12:54She gave up her husband easy enough?

00:12:55Now she wants the South Wing on top of that?

00:12:57Some women cannot bear to be parted from a comfort.

00:12:59You watch your filthy tongue.

00:13:01My mistress has bled in this house every day since she crossed its threshold.

00:13:05She has paid for every stone of this place.

00:13:08The voices rose.

00:13:10There was a slap, a scream.

00:13:12Brooke, when she came up the stairs ten minutes later, had a red wheel across her cheek and a furious

00:13:16set to her mouth.

00:13:17She knelt at the foot of my bed.

00:13:19Miss Elinor, I am going to the Elder Master.

00:13:22Mr. Theodore was always kind to you.

00:13:23He will hear me.

00:13:24Brooke, no. You are a free woman, but free papers do not stop a hand that means to fall.

00:13:28Brooke had her freedom papers.

00:13:30My mother had filed them with the city register the year Brooke turned twelve.

00:13:33It would not matter in this house.

00:13:35But Brooke was already gone.

00:13:36What happened by the lily pond I learned in pieces from the running of feet and the shrieking of women.

00:13:41Theodore was killed in the lake.

00:13:44Brooke had found Theodore in his bath chair on the South's Vienna,

00:13:47taking the weak winter sun between the palmetto and the camellia head.

00:13:50She had knelt and began to speak.

00:13:53Camille had come down the terrace steps.

00:13:56Words had passed.

00:13:58Brooke had risen.

00:14:00Camille had pushed.

00:14:01Brooke had caught at Theodore's chair to keep her balance,

00:14:04and the chair had tilted, and the dying man had gone into the cold green water.

00:14:08They pulled him out.

00:14:10He was breathing, barely.

00:14:13He had not spoken.

00:14:15The estate manager came to my door with two armed grooms is behind him.

00:14:19Madam, your maid is in irons.

00:14:21You are summoned to the great hall.

00:14:24I rose.

00:14:25I bound up my hair.

00:14:30I walked the long corridor without permitting myself to limp.

00:14:35I entered the great hall.

00:14:38The doorway was thick with physicians.

00:14:41Madam Ashford sat in the high chair before the hearth, her cane across her knees.

00:14:45Camille stood weeping against Rybe's shoulder,

00:14:47and his arm was around her waist as a husband's arm is around a wife.

00:14:50He stood with his arm around Camille and did not move.

00:14:53Madam Ashford lifted her cane and pointed.

00:14:57Seize the harlot from Charleston.

00:15:00She has tried to murder my eldest son.

00:15:04Two enormous housewomen seized my arms and forced me down.

00:15:08My ruined feet struck the marble.

00:15:10The skin Madam Ashford herself had split open three weeks before opened again through the wool of my stockings,

00:15:15and warm red blood ran across the white stone in two long ribbons.

00:15:21Reed moved at last.

00:15:23He crossed the hall in three strides and kicked the women aside.

00:15:27Get the hell away from her!

00:15:29No one, there's no, not a single soul, lays a fender on her!

00:15:34He bent and lifted me in his arms.

00:15:36For one suspended moment my cheek was against the rough wool of his coat and I could feel his heart

00:15:41fammering.

00:15:42Then Camille made a small herded sound behind him.

00:15:45Wright set me down upon a bench.

00:15:46He turned.

00:15:47He went to Camille and gathered her against him.

00:15:50Eleanor, you must apologize to my sister-in-law.

00:15:52The matter of the maid will be investigated afterwards.

00:15:54First, the apology.

00:15:55I pressed my bleeding wom flat upon the bench to steady myself.

00:15:59Brooke is a child.

00:16:00She has not the wickedness in her to push a dying man into water.

00:16:04Investigate first.

00:16:05Then I will speak whatever words are owed.

00:16:07Reed's jaw tightened.

00:16:08The apology first.

00:16:10No.

00:16:10A long silence.

00:16:12Madam Ashford's cane tapped the marble once.

00:16:15Then you will be confined to the penitence chamber until you find your tongue.

00:16:18The penitence chamber was where the household sent disobedient servants to be broken.

00:16:21It had a stone floor, no fire, one window so high a tall man could not reach it.

00:16:24I bent and unfastened my shoes.

00:16:26I stepped out of them.

00:16:27I pushed to my feet and walked across the great hall of Ashford Manor in my bare bleeding

00:16:30feet, past my husband, past the women, past the doctors, out the side door and across

00:16:34the snowy yard toward the brick out buildings beyond the kitchen house.

00:16:37I left a line of small red prints behind me in the white.

00:16:40I walked the whole way to the penitence chamber on my own.

00:16:43The smell of pine smoke from the kitchen house followed me across the yard, and somewhere

00:16:47in a wall a mouse scratched, and I let those small things mark the distance.

00:16:51The bolt slid shut behind me.

00:16:52An hour later it slid open again.

00:16:54Camille stood in the doorway, in fresh silk and silver fox, with my river pearl strand around

00:16:58her throat.

00:16:58You are finally at my mercy, Eleanor.

00:17:00Just watch how I break you.

00:17:05And from the New Orleans papers who would not stop printing.

00:17:13I set it down here as it was told to me, for it was set in motion by my own

00:17:18hand.

00:17:19Every magnolia along the drive was wound with white silk.

00:17:22A small chamber orchestra hired up from Vanipunen the Priod began the noon, at noon.

00:17:29Half the planter families between Savannah and Wellington had come, to see the rare thing.

00:17:36A second son taking up his dying brother's wife to continue a sacred southern line.

00:17:44Camille descended the great staircase, in the white lace I had stitched, and the ball whom

00:17:51drew in its breath as one body.

00:17:54A tenor Camille had retained from New Orleans began the song.

00:17:56Eleanor she had commissioned, averse Eleanor for her hardships, averse for Reet's devotion,

00:18:01averse for the blessed child that would save Theodore Ashward from the grave.

00:18:05The Charleston ladies dabbed their eyes.

00:18:08Camille slipped her arm through Reet's, and tugged him toward the corridor.

00:18:16My stays are too tight, help me, just for a moment.

00:18:22In her wing she pressed him against the silk wall, and reached for his belt.

00:18:28Reet's gaze fell upon the gown, white, against her shoulders.

00:18:32White, the cut of the collar.

00:18:35White, the long trail across the park.

00:18:37A wedding dress.

00:18:38Almost his wedding dress.

00:18:40Almost the dress I had worn three Aprils ago, when he had stood before God and the General,

00:18:45and swore that ruined no other woman would ever pass through the gate of his life.

00:18:50Something cold turned in his stomach.

00:18:53A footman pounded on the door.

00:18:55Master Raet, Madam Eleanor is gone from the cottage.

00:18:57The watchgutty was sent away by her own order.

00:19:00And there is a box, sir.

00:19:01A locked box from Madam Eleanor.

00:19:03The guests have broken it open.

00:19:05Camille's hand froze upon his belt.

00:19:07Raet took the corridor at a run.

00:19:08The ballroom had gone quiet in a way ballrooms never go quiet.

00:19:11A circle had formed around the long supper table.

00:19:13The lid of the dispatch box lay flung back.

00:19:15Across the white damage, fanned out like a winning hand of cards,

00:19:17lay a packet of letters in a woman's careless hand.

00:19:19A stack of jeweler's receipts paid by men who were not re-

00:19:22and a sheath of pages torn from hotel registers.

00:19:25Names signed in unsteady ink that were not her own.

00:19:28Reginald Thornton, whose father sat now on the Confederate War Department,

00:19:31picked up one of the letters between two gloved fingers

00:19:33and read it aloud toward the lamps.

00:19:35My dearest Camille.

00:19:38The letter the Lutzen read was addressed to Camille Beaumont,

00:19:41care of the St. Charles Hotel, New Orleans,

00:19:44signed by a man with a famous name in the Mississippi cotton trade.

00:19:48It described in unfortunate detail.

00:19:51Eleanor what he intended to do to her the following Tuesday,

00:19:54and what he hoped she would do to him in return.

00:19:57Wright took the letter without speaking.

00:19:59He turned to the next,

00:20:02and the next,

00:20:03and the next.

00:20:04There were perhaps 40 of them.

00:20:06Different men.

00:20:07Different rooms.

00:20:08The most recent dated to the previous month.

00:20:11There were hotel registers.

00:20:12Mobile, Memphis, New Orleans.

00:20:14Signed in names that were not hers.

00:20:16There were receipts from jewelers for pieces.

00:20:18We had never shown him.

00:20:20Wright drew his sidearm,

00:20:22walking back through the corridor.

00:20:24He kicked open the door of her wing.

00:20:28He pressed the muzzle of the revolver to her forehead.

00:20:31You swore to me I was the first.

00:20:34You won, I precede her.

00:20:36They forced me.

00:20:38They forced me right...

00:20:39They forced you to sign your hotel register.

00:20:43They forced you to take the bracelets.

00:20:46I was a stage actress.

00:20:48You knew what I was.

00:20:50You knew you took me anyway!

00:20:53He fired past her ear.

00:20:55The bullet tore through the lope and buried in the bedpost.

00:21:00Her gay Camille screamed and clapped her hand to the side of her head.

00:21:04Blood ran between her fingers and down the white lace bodice.

00:21:07When I have found my wife, I will come back here and settle what is owed.

00:21:11Your Eleanor does not want you!

00:21:13She said you were soiled!

00:21:15She said you made her sick!

00:21:17She said it to me herself!

00:21:18Ray fired into the wall behind her and walked out.

00:21:21Madam Ashford stood at the head of the stairs with a folded paper.

00:21:25She is gone.

00:21:27She sailed on the morning package out of Charleston Harbor, bound for Havana.

00:21:32She begged me, on her ruined knees, to obtain your signature on this.

00:21:39Three weeks ago you signed it right.

00:21:41You signed without reading.

00:21:43I knew you would.

00:21:45The deed of separation.

00:21:47His own hand at the bottom of it.

00:21:51The notary's red wax.

00:21:54The witness's marks.

00:21:57He did not strike his mother.

00:21:59He did not speak.

00:22:00He walked down the great staircase, past the silent guests.

00:22:03He walked through the foyer, where the chandelier still blazed.

00:22:07He walked between the lines of stunned house servants.

00:22:09And out into the gravel drive, where the carriages waited.

00:22:13He did not stop at his horse.

00:22:15He did not stop at the gate.

00:22:17He walked out of Ashford Manor.

00:22:19And the gate stayed open behind him.

00:22:24Three days.

00:22:26Each afternoon I stood for an hour.

00:22:29At the upper window, just inside the heavy drape.

00:22:34Watching the roof lines opposite.

00:22:36I marked the alley between two chimneys.

00:22:40I marked the wash on a balcony four houses down, where a Creole woman beat her sheets at half past

00:22:46three each day.

00:22:47I marked the shadow of a tall iron lamp standard, whose curve I could use to navigate by, once I

00:22:53was below.

00:22:56I memorized the back stair from the kitchen to the slop yard.

00:23:01I counted the men.

00:23:07I timed the changing of the watch.

00:23:10Reed kept his word with effort.

00:23:12He did not touch me.

00:23:13He did not lift his voice.

00:23:14He bowed to me in passing.

00:23:16He sent up small offerings, a posy of hot tart violets, a string of New Orleans candies and wax paper.

00:23:22A French novel he had not himself read.

00:23:25I accepted them with the courtesy of a woman receiving condolence cards from a distant relation.

00:23:30He watched me with the desperation of a man who has begun to suspect his own house is on fire.

00:23:36Eleanor!

00:23:39On the third afternoon, he came up the back stair on stocking at feet.

00:23:43What are you looking at, Eleanor?

00:23:45I did not turn from the drape.

00:23:47Children.

00:23:48A boy and a girl.

00:23:49On the corner.

00:23:49They have set off three paper firecrackers since noon.

00:23:53I find I like the sound.

00:23:54It is almost spring.

00:23:55A pause.

00:23:56Well, perhaps you mistake gunfire for firecrackers.

00:23:58The war is closer than the ladies' papers say.

00:24:00Tell me, Eleanor.

00:24:01Did you mean firecrackers or did you mean a signal?

00:24:03I turned at last.

00:24:05A signal to whom, Rary?

00:24:08To Owen Hartfield.

00:24:10The name in his mouth.

00:24:11Spoken plain.

00:24:12He had known it for days then.

00:24:15His informants reached further than I had supposed.

00:24:19He crossed the room in two strides and took me by the throat and bore me back against the

00:24:24cold plain.

00:24:25Tell me you were not alone with him on that packet.

00:24:28Tell me he did not touch you.

00:24:31The pressure of his thumbs was steady, almost considered.

00:24:34My vision went red at the edges.

00:24:37I had no breath to deny anything with.

00:24:41I stopped fighting.

00:24:44I closed my eyes.

00:24:46If you hate me this much, kill me.

00:24:48I would rather die in this room than be carried back to Ashford Manor alive.

00:24:53His grip slackened.

00:25:03I slid down the wall to my knees.

00:25:07Eleanor.

00:25:09God forgive me.

00:25:10I lifted my face to his.

00:25:12Take me back to Charleston, Rary.

00:25:14I am too weary to fight you anymore.

00:25:18Take me home.

00:25:20He went very still.

00:25:23Then he lit up the way a boy lights up.

00:25:25You mean that?

00:25:27Eleanor, you mean it?

00:25:29I let my hand find his sleeve, briefly, as one bestows a final beniction.

00:25:34I am tired of being afraid of you.

00:25:37I am tired of being awake in this house.

00:25:40Take me back.

00:25:42Let me sit in the orinarium again.

00:25:45Let me see the magnolians bloom.

00:25:47He kissed the marks his own thumbs had made upon my throat.

00:25:50He kissed my hands.

00:25:51He apologized for things he did not yet have the vocabulary to apologize for.

00:25:55And I let him.

00:25:56Because his speech was buying me hours.

00:25:59We can leave by morning.

00:26:00I will send the trunks ahead by rail.

00:26:05I will ride before the carriage myself.

00:26:07No one will come within a hundred yards of you the whole road home.

00:26:11Right.

00:26:14Yes.

00:26:17There is one matter.

00:26:19Owen Hartfield is in this city.

00:26:23He sent a card to the front door yesterday.

00:26:26The footman returned it.

00:26:29He will try again.

00:26:33If we leave tomorrow with him still in New Orleans,

00:26:38I will spend the rest of my marriage

00:26:41waiting for the day you ride out to settle it.

00:26:45I cannot live that way.

00:26:50His jaw set.

00:26:52The color came back into his face all at once.

00:26:56Where is he?

00:26:59My maid heard from the laundress

00:27:03that he keeps rooms above a drugger's shop on Chartay Street.

00:27:09I do not know the number.

00:27:16The drug fist.

00:27:23The drug fist isn't Mr. Devereux.

00:27:26I had invented the name.

00:27:27I had invented the street.

00:27:28I knew only that he would believe me

00:27:30because I had spoken the lie with the small reluctant catch

00:27:32of a woman betraying a man for the sake of a husband

00:27:34she had at last decided to keep.

00:27:36Reed drew up to his full height.

00:27:38The boy was gone from his face.

00:27:39The officer had returned.

00:27:41Stay in this room.

00:27:42Bolt the door behind me.

00:27:43I will be back before dark.

00:27:46He kissed the inside of my wrist,

00:27:48chastedly as a knight might,

00:27:49and went down the stair calling for his horse and his men.

00:27:53The townhouse emptied like a glass tipped over.

00:27:56I stood at the window until the last hoofbeat

00:27:58had turned the corner of Royal Street.

00:27:59Then I pulled on my traveling coat,

00:28:01picked up the small bundle I had been for three days

00:28:03and went down the back stair to the slop yard.

00:28:05The kitchen boy looked up.

00:28:06I pressed a silver dollar into his hand

00:28:08and stepped past him into the alley.

00:28:09The fog had not lifted all day.

00:28:11I kept to the lee of the buildings.

00:28:14I counted intersections by the tall iron lamp standards.

00:28:17I doubled twice and doubled again.

00:28:19A street that smelled of fish

00:28:21gave on to a street that smelled of horses

00:28:23gave on to a street that smelled of nothing but fog and old brick.

00:28:26Once I heard a clatter of hoofs at the head of a lane

00:28:28and pressed myself into a doorway

00:28:30with my hands flat against the brick.

00:28:32The riders went past at a gallop.

00:28:35Not Ray.

00:28:36Not yet.

00:28:41I knew I should be praying.

00:28:44I found I was counting instead.

00:28:48Counting the paces,

00:28:49counting the corners.

00:28:51Counting the seconds between my own breaths

00:28:53to keep them steady.

00:28:56The French Quarter folded around me

00:28:58like a maze drawn by a child.

00:29:02Galleries leaned out overhead.

00:29:05Worned iron cast complicated shadows.

00:29:08A drunk corail sang somewhere a half block away.

00:29:11The song trailing off into laughter and beginning again.

00:29:15I turned a corner and did not know the corner.

00:29:17I turned another and did not know that one either.

00:29:21The lamp standard I had been navigating by was gone.

00:29:24The wash on the balcony was gone.

00:29:26I could no longer hear hooves in any direction.

00:29:30I had escaped the townhouse.

00:29:32I was now entirely lost.

00:29:37A small panic began at the base of my throat

00:29:40and worked upward.

00:29:45I made myself stop at the next intersection.

00:29:49I set one gloved hand against the wall.

00:29:54I breathed three breaths.

00:29:56Behind me,

00:29:57in the close-walled alley I had just come out of,

00:29:59came a sound.

00:30:01Something between a cough

00:30:02and a long exhalation.

00:30:05Not the sound of a pursuer.

00:30:07Pursuers do not announce themselves with their lungs.

00:30:10I turned slowly.

00:30:12Owen Hartheill stood twelve feet behind me,

00:30:13one shoulder braced against the brick.

00:30:15His left arm hung at an angle.

00:30:16A bandage of his own neck cough

00:30:17had been wrapped around the upper sleeve,

00:30:18and blood had soaked it from black to red

00:30:20and from red to black again.

00:30:21His face was the color of unquaged linen at me.

00:30:22His mouth moved.

00:30:23He tried for a smile

00:30:24and reached only the first part of one.

00:30:25I have found you at last.

00:30:29I went to him without thought.

00:30:31My hands were on the bandage.

00:30:35Before I remembered,

00:30:36I'd been afraid of strangers in alleys for a week.

00:30:43Sit down.

00:30:45Sit down before you fall.

00:30:48There is no time.

00:30:50My men have drawn the bulk of his company

00:30:51towards Chartay Street.

00:30:54We have perhaps an hour before he understands

00:30:56he has been sent the wrong way.

00:30:58He took my elbow with his good hand

00:31:00and guided me,

00:31:02walking unsteadily,

00:31:03deeper into the warren.

00:31:05He knew the lanes.

00:31:07He had grown up in these lanes.

00:31:10At each turn,

00:31:11he chose the narrower of the two.

00:31:13You came after me.

00:31:15I made inquiries when they too

00:31:16took you from the packet.

00:31:18I learned what kind of man

00:31:20your kind of man

00:31:21your husband had become.

00:31:22I judged you would want assistance.

00:31:25I did not ask leave

00:31:26to investigate

00:31:26your private affairs.

00:31:28If that offends you,

00:31:29you may reproach me

00:31:30when we are out of the city.

00:31:35I am not offended.

00:31:37Then save your breath

00:31:39for the walking.

00:31:43A mile out past the last

00:31:45of the lamplit streets,

00:31:46where the brick gave way to weeds

00:31:48and a few burnt cottages

00:31:50stood derelict on the river road,

00:31:52he stopped at a doorless cabin

00:31:54and let himself fall

00:31:56against its inner wall.

00:31:58The cabin was bare.

00:32:00A rotted pallet,

00:32:01a cold hearth,

00:32:03a tin cup,

00:32:04a smell of mice.

00:32:07I lit a small fire

00:32:08with the flint Owen

00:32:09carried in his coat.

00:32:11I unwrapped the bandage.

00:32:14The pistol bell had passed

00:32:16clean through the meat

00:32:17of the upper arm.

00:32:19The bleeding had slowed

00:32:20because the man had run out

00:32:21of blood to give.

00:32:23He was beginning to shake

00:32:25with fever.

00:32:28I cleaned the wound

00:32:30with the water in the tin cup

00:32:31and the spirits in his flask.

00:32:35I rebound it

00:32:36with strips torn

00:32:37from the lining

00:32:37of my petticoat.

00:32:39Owen endured the work

00:32:40without sound,

00:32:41watching the fire.

00:32:44Outside,

00:32:44somewhere far off

00:32:45across the river,

00:32:46a barge horn

00:32:46lowed twice

00:32:47and was answered.

00:32:48The cold came down

00:32:49hard with the dark.

00:32:50I gave him my traveling coat.

00:32:52He refused it.

00:32:53I told him not to be foolish.

00:32:54He accepted.

00:32:55I sat against the wall

00:32:56beside him,

00:32:57the coat spread

00:32:58across us both.

00:32:58His temperature came

00:32:59through the thin lawn

00:33:00of my dress

00:33:01like the heat

00:33:01from the stove.

00:33:02My own body,

00:33:04half starved and frozen

00:33:05for three days,

00:33:06drank it greatly.

00:33:07I had not been so close

00:33:09to another body

00:33:09since the night rake

00:33:10had stood up from my bed

00:33:11and dressed in front of me

00:33:12while Camille watched.

00:33:16I braced for the old nausea.

00:33:18None came.

00:33:19The man beside me

00:33:21was running a clean fever.

00:33:23The kind of fever

00:33:24the body uses

00:33:25to keep itself alive

00:33:26and his shoulder

00:33:27was steady.

00:33:31I did not mean to sleep.

00:33:33I slept.

00:33:35I slept.

00:33:36It was the first

00:33:36true sleep

00:33:37I had known

00:33:38since the cold gravel

00:33:39of the Ashford courtyard.

00:33:42I slept without dreaming.

00:33:44I came up out of it slowly

00:33:45into thin gray light

00:33:47at the doorless threshold.

00:33:49The coat was tucked

00:33:50under my chin.

00:33:52The shoulder

00:33:52I had slept against

00:33:53was gone.

00:33:54I sat up.

00:33:55The fire was a circle

00:33:56of cold ash.

00:33:57The cabin was empty,

00:33:59though.

00:33:59He had thought better of it

00:34:01in the end.

00:34:01He had perhaps left

00:34:03for a town

00:34:03with proper physicians

00:34:04and that was sensible

00:34:05and I had no right

00:34:06whatever to feel

00:34:07the small private drop

00:34:08in my chest.

00:34:09I had been alone before.

00:34:10I would be alone again.

00:34:12I had my coat.

00:34:14I had my purse

00:34:15sewn into the hem.

00:34:16I had the deed

00:34:17of separation

00:34:17buttoned at my breast.

00:34:18I stood.

00:34:20I straightened my hair.

00:34:21I walked to the cold fire

00:34:22and addressed it

00:34:23the way a woman

00:34:24addresses a grave.

00:34:25Owen Hartfield.

00:34:27Goodbye.

00:34:27I turned to go.

00:34:29He was standing

00:34:30in the doorway

00:34:30with a hair

00:34:31across his good arm.

00:34:33He had cleaned it already

00:34:34at some pond

00:34:35I could not see

00:34:36and his shirt sleeves

00:34:37were red to the elbows

00:34:38and his face

00:34:40under the fever clutch

00:34:41was breaking into

00:34:41something embarrassed

00:34:42and pleased.

00:34:45I woke hungry.

00:34:47There was a snare

00:34:48at the edge

00:34:48of the cane break.

00:34:51I did not wish

00:34:52to wake you.

00:34:57I thought...

00:34:58I know what you thought.

00:34:59A small silence.

00:35:01He looked away first.

00:35:03I wanted to be quick

00:35:04about it.

00:35:05I knew you would have

00:35:05woken thinking the worst

00:35:06and I would have deserved it

00:35:07for leaving without a word.

00:35:08What he did not say

00:35:09I knew because

00:35:10I have been watching

00:35:11over you since before

00:35:12you could lift your head

00:35:13from a pillow.

00:35:14He crouched at the hearth

00:35:15and laid the hair

00:35:16on a flat stone.

00:35:17He looked entirely

00:35:18competent at the work.

00:35:20His good hand

00:35:20made up for the other.

00:35:21I went out to the well

00:35:22behind the cabin

00:35:23and brought water.

00:35:24We built up the fire.

00:35:25He spitted the loins

00:35:27on a stripped sapling.

00:35:29He set the bones

00:35:30to boil in a chipped

00:35:31earthen pot

00:35:32he found in the kitchen

00:35:33corner with a colony

00:35:34of wood lights in it.

00:35:36Half an hour later

00:35:37we were eating

00:35:38roasted hair

00:35:38with our fingers

00:35:39and drinking the broth

00:35:41from the same tin cup

00:35:42passed between us.

00:35:44Mobile.

00:35:45You should not stay

00:35:46in Louisiana.

00:35:46The Hartwell's keep

00:35:47rooms in Mobile

00:35:47and a few discreet friends.

00:35:49We can be there

00:35:49in three days

00:35:50by the coast road.

00:35:51We.

00:35:51If you'll accept the company.

00:35:52Down the cup.

00:35:53I looked at him

00:35:53over the small fire.

00:35:54I will accept the company.

00:35:55His face changed

00:35:56in a way I could not name

00:35:57and did not wish to study yet.

00:35:58Then we should be

00:35:59moving before...

00:36:03We traveled the coast road

00:36:04in a hired buckford

00:36:05with two of Owen's men

00:36:07riding ahead

00:36:07and two behind

00:36:08all of them

00:36:09in dark unmarked coats.

00:36:10The road scurred the swamps

00:36:12where the live oaks

00:36:13dropped their long

00:36:14beards of mosh

00:36:15and the eaglins

00:36:16stood like white

00:36:17stitchwork in the green.

00:36:20By the second night

00:36:21we had crossed

00:36:22into Mississippi.

00:36:23By the fourth

00:36:24we were in Mobile

00:36:25taking rooms

00:36:26above a respectable

00:36:27boarding house

00:36:28off Government Street

00:36:29with the gulf wind

00:36:31smelling of salt

00:36:32at the windows.

00:36:33New Year's Eve

00:36:34found us at a small

00:36:35private table

00:36:35in the front parlor

00:36:36of the house

00:36:37a steaming earthen pot

00:36:38of chicken and red pepper

00:36:39between us.

00:36:40A jambalaya the land 80

00:36:41had made up special.

00:36:42Owen's color had come back.

00:36:44His arm was in a clean sling.

00:36:46This is the best

00:36:47New Year's supper

00:36:47I can remember.

00:36:48He spoke of his family then

00:36:50slowly

00:36:51without bitterness.

00:36:53His mother

00:36:54the first wife.

00:36:56His father

00:36:57who had taken

00:36:57a stage actress

00:36:58as his mistress

00:36:59and then

00:37:00after his wife's death

00:37:02raised the

00:37:03mother of his

00:37:04second household.

00:37:05Owen had been

00:37:06the unwanted son

00:37:07who would not

00:37:08stop being clever.

00:37:10Paris had been

00:37:11a place to study

00:37:12and also a place

00:37:13to be out of the house.

00:37:15Every Christmas

00:37:17every New Year

00:37:18I have thought

00:37:19what would it be

00:37:20if my mother

00:37:21were still living?

00:37:22My mother died

00:37:23when I was three.

00:37:25I do not remember

00:37:26her face

00:37:28but I think

00:37:29a mother wishes

00:37:31her child

00:37:31to be happy.

00:37:34If she could see you now

00:37:35she would be glad

00:37:36of you.

00:37:38He set down

00:37:39his spoon.

00:37:40Your mother said

00:37:41exactly that

00:37:42to me once.

00:37:47I looked up.

00:37:49The room rearranged

00:37:51itself by a small degree.

00:37:52Our families

00:37:53did business together

00:37:54before you were born.

00:37:55My mother kept

00:37:56the apathy trade

00:37:57in New Orleans

00:37:58and yours kept

00:37:59the physician's compound

00:38:00in Charleston.

00:38:01We were one of her

00:38:02largest accounts.

00:38:04When you were

00:38:05a few weeks old

00:38:05my mother brought me

00:38:06to Charleston

00:38:06to visit your house.

00:38:08I could not speak.

00:38:11Owen reached

00:38:12into the frest

00:38:13of his coat

00:38:13with his good hand

00:38:14and brought out

00:38:15a small object

00:38:16on a fine gold chain.

00:38:18A cameo.

00:38:20Pale shell

00:38:21on a coral ground

00:38:24set in a worked

00:38:25gold frame

00:38:25the size

00:38:26of a thumb print.

00:38:27The clasp

00:38:28was a child's clasp.

00:38:30He laid it

00:38:31in my palm.

00:38:36I gave you this

00:38:37when you were

00:38:37one month old.

00:38:39I put it around

00:38:40your neck myself.

00:38:41I asked my mother

00:38:42whether I might

00:38:43have a little sister

00:38:44and she said

00:38:45you were not

00:38:45mine to have

00:38:46but that I might

00:38:48still wish

00:38:48good things upon you.

00:38:50I wished them.

00:38:53I have been wishing

00:38:54them for you

00:38:55ever since.

00:38:59I closed my hand

00:39:00around the cameo.

00:39:01The metal was warmer

00:39:02than metal should have been.

00:39:04I could not

00:39:05look at him.

00:39:08I have a jade locket

00:39:09from my infancy.

00:39:11My father said

00:39:12an old friend

00:39:12of my mother's

00:39:13gave it to me.

00:39:14He never named

00:39:15the friend.

00:39:15I have kept it

00:39:16in a bank vault

00:39:17in Charleston

00:39:18for nine years.

00:39:19It was meant

00:39:19for you.

00:39:21So is this.

00:39:25Outside,

00:39:26the bells

00:39:26of the Catholic Church

00:39:27began the midnight preel.

00:39:29Across the harbor,

00:39:30somewhere out

00:39:31on the water,

00:39:32a steam whistle

00:39:33answered.

00:39:36The new year

00:39:37was coming in

00:39:38over Mobile Bay

00:39:39with the smell

00:39:40of brine

00:39:40and tar

00:39:41and orange peel.

00:39:44Word had reached

00:39:45us that afternoon

00:39:46by a Hartwell courier.

00:39:49Ryde Ashford

00:39:50had threatened

00:39:51the family.

00:39:53He had said

00:39:54publicly

00:39:54in a New Orleans

00:39:56drawing room

00:39:56that he would

00:39:58put a ball

00:39:58into Owen Hartwell

00:39:59on sight.

00:40:01The Hartwells

00:40:02of Mambiel

00:40:02and the Hartwells

00:40:04of New Orleans

00:40:06had received

00:40:07the threat

00:40:07with the calm

00:40:08of merchants

00:40:08who had outlasted

00:40:10three generations

00:40:10of louder men.

00:40:14Owen at the table

00:40:15was unconcerned.

00:40:18He has made

00:40:19enemies

00:40:19in too many

00:40:20of the military

00:40:20families.

00:40:24His grandfather

00:40:25will not protect

00:40:26him much longer.

00:40:28The old general

00:40:29is a careful officer

00:40:30and Reed

00:40:31has stopped

00:40:31being careful.

00:40:33The Hartwells

00:40:34are not afraid

00:40:35of the Ashfields.

00:40:37He looked at me

00:40:39directly across

00:40:39the lamp.

00:40:41With me here,

00:40:42Eleanor.

00:40:43Whatever meth

00:40:44he employs,

00:40:45I will not allow him

00:40:47to take you.

00:40:50My heartbeat

00:40:51was loud

00:40:52in my own ears.

00:40:54I did not

00:40:55trust my voice.

00:40:57I looked instead

00:40:58at the cameo

00:40:58in my palm,

00:40:59a pounding

00:41:00at the front door

00:41:00of the house.

00:41:01The landlady's voice

00:41:02raised in startled

00:41:03protest.

00:41:04A boy's voice

00:41:05young breathlin urgent

00:41:05overcoming her.

00:41:06Owen rose.

00:41:07I rose with him.

00:41:08The boy was a telegraph

00:41:09runner from the

00:41:10Confederate command office.

00:41:11He had pelted

00:41:12three blocks in the dark

00:41:13with the wire

00:41:13still warm in his

00:41:14cam.

00:41:15Mr. Hartwells,

00:41:16sir,

00:41:16word from up the river.

00:41:17The Yankees

00:41:18have moved

00:41:19on the Vicksburg line.

00:41:20Heavy engagement

00:41:21at Champions Hill.

00:41:22Field of surgeons

00:41:23are wanted

00:41:24by every hospital

00:41:25between here and Jackson.

00:41:27The mobile draft

00:41:28leaves on the morning train.

00:41:29Owen took the telegram.

00:41:31He read it once.

00:41:32He folded it in half

00:41:34with his good hand.

00:41:35He looked across

00:41:36the table at me.

00:41:37The war they had

00:41:38been speaking of

00:41:39as a thing

00:41:40happening elsewhere

00:41:40had crossed the room

00:41:42and laid its hand

00:41:43upon the cloth

00:41:43between us.

00:41:44I closed my fingers

00:41:46around the cameo

00:41:47until the gold edge

00:41:48bit my palm.

00:41:55Outside,

00:41:56the church bells

00:41:57had not finished

00:41:58ringing in the new year.

00:42:00Mobile's depot platform

00:42:01was crowded

00:42:01with men in fresh gray.

00:42:03Mothers pressed

00:42:03handkerchiefs

00:42:04into the hands of sons

00:42:04who had not yet learned

00:42:05no one would to use them.

00:42:06Owen wore the dark coat

00:42:07of a contract surgeon.

00:42:08His medical satchel

00:42:09slung at his hip,

00:42:09his sling at last discarded.

00:42:11The arms still pained him

00:42:11in damp weather.

00:42:12He had not mentioned it.

00:42:13I walked beside him

00:42:13with my Blaine

00:42:14from the miscarriage.

00:42:15Atlanta first.

00:42:16The Hartwields

00:42:17in Decorter

00:42:17will receive you.

00:42:19Stay above

00:42:19Peck-Tum Street.

00:42:20Do not write me

00:42:21where you can be traced.

00:42:24I have heard you

00:42:25the first three times.

00:42:30I will write

00:42:31to the Decor address.

00:42:33If a letter arrives

00:42:34that does not sound

00:42:35like me,

00:42:36burn it.

00:42:38He has copied

00:42:38my hand before.

00:42:41I will burn it.

00:42:45The conductor

00:42:45walked the line of cars

00:42:46with his bell.

00:42:47A boy ahead of us

00:42:48in a corporal's stripes

00:42:49wept openly

00:42:50into his sweetheart's bonnet

00:42:51and no one looked.

00:42:52Owen turned me

00:42:53toward him by the elbows.

00:42:54You will be safer

00:42:55in Atlanta

00:42:55than anywhere I could put you.

00:42:57The Hartwoods of Decorter

00:42:58are very quiet people.

00:42:59They will treat you

00:42:59as a daughter.

00:43:00You said once

00:43:01you would stay with me

00:43:01wherever I went.

00:43:03I said that

00:43:04and I meant it.

00:43:05I am sorry.

00:43:05Do not be sorry.

00:43:06Be careful.

00:43:07Be careful in a way

00:43:07you have not been before.

00:43:09Eat.

00:43:09Sleep when you are

00:43:10given the chance to sleep.

00:43:12Don't stand where

00:43:12the powder wagons are hitched.

00:43:13Don't ride into anything

00:43:14you can't ride out.

00:43:15Mrs. Hartwell.

00:43:18I lifted my face.

00:43:21He kissed me

00:43:22on the forehead

00:43:22in plain view

00:43:23of the platform

00:43:24and did not flush.

00:43:27Around us

00:43:28the band changed hymns.

00:43:32I boarded.

00:43:33He walked the length

00:43:34length of the car

00:43:34as it began to move

00:43:35then jobbed a few paces

00:43:37then stopped

00:43:38his good hand

00:43:39raised to his hat.

00:43:42I pressed my palm

00:43:44to the glass.

00:43:46The platform shrunk.

00:43:48The gulf wind took him.

00:43:50The country between us

00:43:52widened until

00:43:53I could not see

00:43:54his coat in the crowd.

00:43:56Then I sat

00:43:58down very straight

00:43:59and put

00:44:00hands in my lap.

00:44:07A year of war

00:44:08taught me

00:44:08the names of bones

00:44:09I had only read in Paris.

00:44:12I completed

00:44:13my additional training

00:44:14under a decatur surgeon.

00:44:16A quayer

00:44:17who took female students

00:44:18because the men

00:44:19had gone north or south.

00:44:21I earned my own

00:44:22bag of instruments.

00:44:24I earned the right

00:44:25to be called

00:44:26by my surname

00:44:27in a corridor.

00:44:31When the call

00:44:31came for volunteer

00:44:32surgeons at Vicksburg

00:44:33I put my name

00:44:35on the list.

00:44:37The Quaker

00:44:38did not try

00:44:39to dissuade me.

00:44:49He shook my hand

00:44:50instead.

00:44:52The field hospital

00:44:53at Vicksburg

00:44:54was a converted

00:44:55brick warehouse

00:44:56three blocks

00:44:57from the Mississippi.

00:44:58The wards

00:44:59had been set up

00:45:00Eleanor

00:45:00between rows

00:45:01of cotton bales.

00:45:02The smell

00:45:03of calanfeme

00:45:04and rot

00:45:04could not be

00:45:05covered by anything.

00:45:07I had been

00:45:08at my post

00:45:08nine hours.

00:45:12When Ayak 3

00:45:13I came down

00:45:14the corridor

00:45:15with a tray

00:45:16of clean linen

00:45:16and saw a man

00:45:18at the far end

00:45:19speaking with a colleague.

00:45:22His left arm

00:45:23hung at his side.

00:45:25Blood had soaked

00:45:26through the makeshift

00:45:27bandage

00:45:28and was falling

00:45:29drop by patient drop

00:45:33onto the boards.

00:45:39I knew the line

00:45:40of the shoulders

00:45:40before I knew

00:45:42the face.

00:45:50Dr. Hartworth

00:45:51he turned.

00:45:55He went still

00:45:56for an instant

00:45:58longer than a man

00:46:00should.

00:46:04He tried

00:46:05to draw

00:46:05the arm

00:46:06behind him.

00:46:07I walked

00:46:08the length

00:46:08of the corridor

00:46:10without slowing.

00:46:18I set down

00:46:19the tray.

00:46:20I lifted

00:46:21the arm.

00:46:22The flesh

00:46:23of his upper hand

00:46:24had been opened

00:46:25not by a bullet

00:46:26but by a blade.

00:46:27The cut

00:46:28was three millimeters

00:46:29from the tendon.

00:46:30White bone

00:46:30showed at the bed

00:46:31of it.

00:46:33Whoever

00:46:33had drawn

00:46:34the knife

00:46:35had known

00:46:35exactly where

00:46:36to draw.

00:46:37The colleague

00:46:38at Owen's

00:46:38elbow

00:46:39cleared his throat.

00:46:39The wound

00:46:40was given

00:46:40him this morning

00:46:41ma'am

00:46:41by a confederate

00:46:42officer named

00:46:43Ashford.

00:46:44The siege

00:46:44has not yet

00:46:45closed in.

00:46:46He came

00:46:46through the lines

00:46:46in civilian

00:46:47clothes

00:46:47and walked

00:46:48out the same

00:46:49way.

00:46:50Dr. Hartworth

00:46:50will not let

00:46:51me write

00:46:51the report.

00:46:52Sit down

00:46:52doctor.

00:46:53I threaded

00:46:54the suture needle.

00:46:55My hands

00:46:56were entirely

00:46:57still.

00:46:58Behind me

00:46:58on the cotton

00:46:59buns

00:46:59a private

00:47:00moaned

00:47:00for his

00:47:01mother.

00:47:02Outside

00:47:02a battery

00:47:03somewhere

00:47:03south of

00:47:03the river

00:47:04opened

00:47:04and the

00:47:05windows

00:47:05rattled

00:47:06gently

00:47:06in their

00:47:06frames.

00:47:07I closed

00:47:08the wound

00:47:08with 31

00:47:08stitches

00:47:09each placed

00:47:10as if

00:47:10for an

00:47:11examination.

00:47:12I washed

00:47:13the hand.

00:47:13I splinted

00:47:14the fingers

00:47:14so the tendon

00:47:15could rest.

00:47:16I bound

00:47:16the dressing

00:47:17in clean

00:47:17linen

00:47:18and tied

00:47:19it with

00:47:19the small

00:47:19even knot

00:47:20I had taught

00:47:20myself in

00:47:21Paris.

00:47:22Owen watched

00:47:23me the whole

00:47:24time.

00:47:24He did

00:47:25not speak

00:47:26until I

00:47:26had set

00:47:26the last

00:47:27pin.

00:47:27You should

00:47:28not be

00:47:28here.

00:47:31That is

00:47:31curious.

00:47:33I was

00:47:33thinking the

00:47:34same of

00:47:34you.

00:47:37He has

00:47:38men in

00:47:38this city.

00:47:39The siege

00:47:39has not yet

00:47:40closed.

00:47:40He walked

00:47:40into the

00:47:41hospital in

00:47:41civilian clothes

00:47:42this morning.

00:47:42He found

00:47:43me at the

00:47:43druggist on

00:47:44Cherry Street.

00:47:45He drew a

00:47:45bowie knife

00:47:46across my

00:47:46hand because

00:47:47he could not

00:47:48bring himself

00:47:48to put a

00:47:49ball into

00:47:49me in the

00:47:49open street.

00:47:50I think

00:47:51he meant

00:47:51to leave

00:47:52me a

00:47:52crib.

00:47:52I cut

00:47:53the thread.

00:47:54You should

00:47:55go up

00:47:55river,

00:47:55Memphis,

00:47:56Kaido,

00:47:56anywhere he

00:47:57cannot follow.

00:47:58I cannot

00:47:58leave.

00:47:58The hospital

00:47:59is short

00:47:59three surgeons.

00:48:00I will

00:48:00not desert

00:48:01it.

00:48:01As for

00:48:01you,

00:48:02Eleanor,

00:48:03get on

00:48:03the next

00:48:03northbound

00:48:04train.

00:48:05I will

00:48:06see you

00:48:06to the

00:48:06platform

00:48:07myself.

00:48:10I rinsed

00:48:11my hands

00:48:11in the

00:48:12basin.

00:48:13The water

00:48:14clouded

00:48:14pink.

00:48:19No.

00:48:22Eleanor.

00:48:23I am

00:48:23staying.

00:48:24I am

00:48:25staying to

00:48:25look after

00:48:26you.

00:48:27And I am

00:48:28going to

00:48:28finish the

00:48:29conversation

00:48:29I should

00:48:30have

00:48:30finished

00:48:30in his

00:48:31mother's

00:48:31parlor

00:48:31three years

00:48:32ago.

00:48:33It has

00:48:34gone on

00:48:34long enough.

00:48:35I dried

00:48:35my hands

00:48:36on the

00:48:36towel at

00:48:37my belt.

00:48:38I will

00:48:39send him

00:48:39a note

00:48:39tonight.

00:48:40I will

00:48:41invite him

00:48:41to dinner.

00:48:42He will

00:48:43come.

00:48:46he has

00:48:46not yet

00:48:47learned

00:48:47how to

00:48:47refuse

00:48:48me

00:48:48anything

00:48:48I

00:48:48phrase

00:48:49as

00:48:49an

00:48:49invitation.

00:48:51Owen

00:48:52sat

00:48:52very

00:48:52still

00:48:53on

00:48:53the

00:48:53cot.

00:48:55His

00:48:56bandaged

00:48:56hand

00:48:56rested

00:48:57in his

00:48:57lap.

00:48:58Like

00:48:59something

00:48:59he no

00:49:00longer

00:49:00recognized.

00:49:02Eleanor,

00:49:03he will

00:49:04not let

00:49:04you walk

00:49:04out of

00:49:04that

00:49:05room.

00:49:05He

00:49:06will.

00:49:08Because

00:49:08I will

00:49:09be the

00:49:09one

00:49:09who

00:49:09decides

00:49:11when

00:49:11the

00:49:11door

00:49:12opens.

00:49:15I

00:49:16picked

00:49:16up

00:49:16the

00:49:16tray

00:49:17and

00:49:17went

00:49:17to

00:49:18wash

00:49:18the

00:49:18instruments.

00:49:20The

00:49:21restaurant

00:49:21stood

00:49:21on a

00:49:22quieter

00:49:22street

00:49:22in

00:49:22town,

00:49:23well

00:49:23behind

00:49:23the

00:49:24Confederate

00:49:24lines

00:49:24and

00:49:25outside

00:49:25the

00:49:25reach

00:49:25of

00:49:25the

00:49:25federal

00:49:26guns.

00:49:27The

00:49:27siege

00:49:28had

00:49:28not

00:49:28yet

00:49:28closed

00:49:28its

00:49:29fist.

00:49:30Officers

00:49:30in

00:49:30gray

00:49:31still

00:49:31took

00:49:31supper

00:49:31there

00:49:32in

00:49:32the

00:49:32evenings

00:49:32without

00:49:32inquiry.

00:49:33I

00:49:34chose

00:49:34a

00:49:34table

00:49:35near

00:49:35the

00:49:35window.

00:49:37Reed

00:49:37arrived

00:49:37in

00:49:37clean

00:49:38gray,

00:49:38hat

00:49:38in

00:49:39hand.

00:49:40A

00:49:41year

00:49:41apart

00:49:41and

00:49:42he

00:49:42had

00:49:42thinned.

00:49:43The

00:49:43boy

00:49:43light

00:49:44in

00:49:44his

00:49:44face

00:49:44had

00:49:44gone.

00:49:45What

00:49:46remained

00:49:46was

00:49:46harder

00:49:47and

00:49:47in

00:49:47a

00:49:47certain

00:49:47light

00:49:48handsomer

00:49:48for it

00:49:49the

00:49:49way

00:49:49a

00:49:49worn

00:49:49coin

00:49:50reads

00:49:50more

00:49:50clear.

00:49:51He

00:49:51stopped

00:49:51six

00:49:52feet

00:49:52short

00:49:52of

00:49:52the

00:49:53table.

00:49:53Eleanor.

00:49:54Sit

00:49:55down,

00:49:55Reed.

00:49:58He

00:49:59sat.

00:49:59He

00:50:00could

00:50:00not

00:50:00stop

00:50:01his

00:50:01eyes

00:50:03I

00:50:03have

00:50:03sent

00:50:04Camille

00:50:04away.

00:50:05After

00:50:05Theodore

00:50:06died,

00:50:06I

00:50:06had

00:50:06the

00:50:07child

00:50:07taken

00:50:07from

00:50:07her.

00:50:09And

00:50:09I

00:50:09had

00:50:09her

00:50:10sent

00:50:10to

00:50:10a

00:50:10house

00:50:10in

00:50:10New

00:50:11Orleans

00:50:11I

00:50:11will

00:50:11not

00:50:11name

00:50:12in

00:50:12your

00:50:12hearing.

00:50:13My

00:50:13mother

00:50:13is

00:50:13at

00:50:13the

00:50:14generals.

00:50:14I

00:50:14set

00:50:15down

00:50:15my

00:50:15knife.

00:50:15I

00:50:16rose.

00:50:16I

00:50:16set

00:50:17my

00:50:17hands

00:50:17at

00:50:17the

00:50:17hem

00:50:17of

00:50:17my

00:50:18dress

00:50:18and

00:50:18lifted

00:50:18it

00:50:18slowly,

00:50:19a

00:50:19single

00:50:19inch

00:50:19at

00:50:19a

00:50:20time

00:50:20to

00:50:20the

00:50:20knee.

00:50:21The

00:50:21scars

00:50:21stood

00:50:21pale

00:50:22against

00:50:22the

00:50:22candlelit

00:50:22linen.

00:50:23Two

00:50:23long

00:50:23ridges

00:50:24and

00:50:24a

00:50:24constellation

00:50:24of

00:50:25smaller

00:50:25went

00:50:25the

00:50:25color

00:50:25of

00:50:25old

00:50:26ivory.

00:50:26The

00:50:26skin

00:50:26around

00:50:27them

00:50:27still

00:50:27rough

00:50:27where

00:50:27the

00:50:27cold

00:50:28and

00:50:28the

00:50:28gravel

00:50:28had

00:50:28taken

00:50:28me

00:50:29down

00:50:29to

00:50:29the

00:50:29joint.

00:50:29I

00:50:30let

00:50:30him

00:50:30look.

00:50:31I

00:50:31let

00:50:31the

00:50:31table

00:50:31near

00:50:32us

00:50:32look.

00:50:32I

00:50:32let

00:50:33the

00:50:33moment

00:50:33sit.

00:50:34Every

00:50:34time

00:50:34it

00:50:34rains

00:50:35the

00:50:35bone

00:50:35aches

00:50:35inside

00:50:36the

00:50:36joint.

00:50:36Paris

00:50:36physician

00:50:37who

00:50:37examined

00:50:37me

00:50:37last

00:50:38spring

00:50:38believes

00:50:38that

00:50:38one

00:50:38day

00:50:39I

00:50:39will

00:50:39not

00:50:39walk.

00:50:40You

00:50:40did

00:50:40not

00:50:40send

00:50:40for

00:50:40a

00:50:40doctor.

00:50:41You

00:50:41did

00:50:41not

00:50:41ask

00:50:41whether

00:50:42I

00:50:42was

00:50:42in

00:50:42pain.

00:50:42While

00:50:43I

00:50:43stood

00:50:43in

00:50:43your

00:50:43courtyard

00:50:43you

00:50:44were

00:50:44in

00:50:44her

00:50:44bed.

00:50:44I

00:50:44lowered

00:50:45the

00:50:45hem.

00:50:45That

00:50:46is

00:50:46what

00:50:46your

00:50:46love

00:50:46cost.

00:50:47Now

00:50:48tell

00:50:48me

00:50:48again

00:50:48what

00:50:49it

00:50:49is

00:50:49worth.

00:50:50Reit

00:50:50opened

00:50:50his

00:50:50mouth.

00:50:52No

00:50:52sound

00:50:53came.

00:50:54Reit

00:50:54found his

00:50:55voice

00:50:55at

00:50:55last.

00:50:56And it

00:50:57was

00:50:57not

00:50:57the

00:50:57voice

00:50:58I

00:50:58had

00:50:58expected.

00:50:59It

00:51:00was

00:51:00the

00:51:00voice

00:51:00of

00:51:00a

00:51:00man

00:51:01who

00:51:01had

00:51:01rehearsed

00:51:02a

00:51:03speech

00:51:03in

00:51:03the

00:51:04saddle

00:51:04for

00:51:04a

00:51:04hundred

00:51:05miles.

00:51:06I

00:51:06am

00:51:06flesh

00:51:07and

00:51:07blood

00:51:08Eleanor.

00:51:09No

00:51:10man

00:51:10is

00:51:10faultless.

00:51:12Why

00:51:12must

00:51:12you

00:51:13weigh

00:51:13a

00:51:13single

00:51:13error

00:51:14against

00:51:15every

00:51:15year

00:51:15I

00:51:16gave

00:51:16you?

00:51:17I

00:51:18laughed

00:51:18not

00:51:18cruelly

00:51:19only

00:51:19with

00:51:19the

00:51:19small

00:51:19helpless

00:51:20astonishment

00:51:20of

00:51:20a

00:51:20woman

00:51:21who

00:51:21has

00:51:21finally

00:51:21been

00:51:21told

00:51:21the

00:51:22size

00:51:22of

00:51:22the

00:51:22room

00:51:22she

00:51:22stood

00:51:23in.

00:51:23A

00:51:23single

00:51:24error.

00:51:25You

00:51:25have

00:51:25pursued

00:51:26Owen

00:51:26Hartwell

00:51:27across

00:51:27two

00:51:27states

00:51:28for

00:51:28a

00:51:28year.

00:51:29You

00:51:30opened

00:51:30his

00:51:30hand

00:51:30this

00:51:31morning

00:51:31with

00:51:31a

00:51:31knife.

00:51:32You

00:51:32have

00:51:33ridden

00:51:33with

00:51:33a

00:51:33woman

00:51:33in

00:51:33your

00:51:34column

00:51:34the

00:51:34whole

00:51:34of

00:51:34that

00:51:34year

00:51:35and

00:51:35I

00:51:35have

00:51:35heard

00:51:36her

00:51:36name

00:51:36from

00:51:36three

00:51:36different

00:51:36mouths.

00:51:38We

00:51:38are

00:51:38no

00:51:38longer

00:51:38married

00:51:39riot.

00:51:40I

00:51:41signed

00:51:41the

00:51:41deed

00:51:41of

00:51:41separation

00:51:42in

00:51:42your

00:51:42mother's

00:51:42hand

00:51:42the

00:51:43morning

00:51:43I

00:51:52you

00:51:52apparently

00:51:53are

00:51:53held

00:51:53to

00:51:53no

00:51:54standard

00:51:54of

00:51:54any

00:51:54kind.

00:51:55I

00:51:55see

00:51:56it

00:51:56last.

00:51:56I

00:51:57stepped

00:51:57back

00:51:57from

00:51:57the

00:51:58table.

00:51:58Raid

00:51:59caught

00:51:59my

00:51:59wrist.

00:52:00I

00:52:01looked

00:52:01at

00:52:02his

00:52:02hand

00:52:02on

00:52:02my

00:52:03arm

00:52:03the

00:52:03way

00:52:04a

00:52:04person

00:52:04looks

00:52:04at

00:52:04something

00:52:05she

00:52:05intends

00:52:05to

00:52:05remove

00:52:06from

00:52:06her

00:52:06clothing.

00:52:07He

00:52:08let

00:52:08go.

00:52:08I

00:52:09came

00:52:09with

00:52:09one

00:52:10small

00:52:10hope

00:52:10left

00:52:10in

00:52:11me.

00:52:11I

00:52:12should

00:52:12have

00:52:12known

00:52:12better.

00:52:13I

00:52:14will

00:52:14not

00:52:14see

00:52:14you

00:52:14again.

00:52:16I

00:52:17turned

00:52:17for

00:52:17the

00:52:17door.

00:52:18I

00:52:18am

00:52:19a

00:52:19man

00:52:19with

00:52:19blood

00:52:19in

00:52:20his

00:52:20veins.

00:52:21If

00:52:21you

00:52:21mean

00:52:21to

00:52:22make

00:52:22me

00:52:22a

00:52:22stranger.

00:52:23Eleanor,

00:52:24I

00:52:24will

00:52:24not

00:52:24stay

00:52:25civil.

00:52:25Do

00:52:26you

00:52:26hear

00:52:26me?

00:52:26I

00:52:27will

00:52:27not

00:52:27stay

00:52:28civil.

00:52:28I

00:52:29did

00:52:29not

00:52:29turn.

00:52:30I

00:52:30crossed

00:52:31the

00:52:31dining

00:52:31room.

00:52:32I

00:52:33passed

00:52:33the

00:52:33rack

00:52:33of

00:52:34officers

00:52:34hats.

00:52:35I

00:52:36pushed

00:52:36open

00:52:36the

00:52:36door

00:52:37into

00:52:37the

00:52:37cold

00:52:37November

00:52:38street

00:52:38and

00:52:39walked

00:52:39out

00:52:39without

00:52:40looking

00:52:40back.

00:52:42Behind

00:52:43me,

00:52:43glass

00:52:44broke.

00:52:45A

00:52:45heavy

00:52:45table

00:52:46went

00:52:46over.

00:52:47Voices

00:52:48rose.

00:52:49Someone

00:52:50called

00:52:50for the

00:52:50proprietor.

00:52:51A

00:52:52chair

00:52:52struck

00:52:53a

00:52:53wall.

00:52:54I

00:52:54did

00:52:54not

00:52:55stop.

00:52:57I

00:52:58walked

00:52:58the

00:52:58four

00:52:58blocks

00:52:58to

00:52:59the

00:52:59hospital

00:52:59with

00:52:59my

00:53:00hands

00:53:00tucked

00:53:00into

00:53:00my

00:53:01sleeves

00:53:01to

00:53:02keep

00:53:02them

00:53:02from

00:53:02shaking.

00:53:04The

00:53:05cold

00:53:05air

00:53:05burned

00:53:05my

00:53:05throat

00:53:06clean.

00:53:06A

00:53:07barge

00:53:07horn

00:53:08lowed

00:53:08on

00:53:08the

00:53:08river.

00:53:09Above

00:53:10the

00:53:10chimneys

00:53:10the

00:53:11sky

00:53:11was

00:53:11the

00:53:11color

00:53:11of

00:53:11beaten

00:53:13and the

00:53:13first

00:53:13stars

00:53:13were

00:53:13coming

00:53:14up

00:53:14clear

00:53:14and

00:53:14small

00:53:15over

00:53:15the

00:53:15bluffs.

00:53:16I

00:53:17came

00:53:17up

00:53:17the

00:53:17hospital

00:53:17stair

00:53:17and

00:53:18stopped

00:53:18at

00:53:18the

00:53:18head

00:53:18of

00:53:18the

00:53:18corridor.

00:53:19Owen

00:53:19stood

00:53:19with

00:53:19his

00:53:20back

00:53:20to

00:53:20me

00:53:20in

00:53:20the

00:53:20lamplight,

00:53:21his

00:53:21banded

00:53:21hand

00:53:21held

00:53:21against

00:53:21his

00:53:22coat.

00:53:22A

00:53:22young

00:53:22woman

00:53:22in

00:53:23the

00:53:23gray

00:53:23apron

00:53:23of

00:53:23a

00:53:23Sisters

00:53:24of

00:53:24Mercy

00:53:24volunteer

00:53:24faced

00:53:25him,

00:53:25color

00:53:25high

00:53:25in

00:53:25her

00:53:25cheeks,

00:53:26speaking

00:53:26too

00:53:26quickly.

00:53:27Dr.

00:53:27Adelaine

00:53:27Pierce,

00:53:28the

00:53:28Atlanta

00:53:28girl,

00:53:29two weeks

00:53:29at the

00:53:29post and

00:53:30already a

00:53:30tongue too

00:53:30quick for

00:53:31her boots.

00:53:32I did not

00:53:33know what rose in my chest then.

00:53:36It was sharper than anything Wright had drawn from me in a year.

00:53:44I lowered my head and made to pass them.

00:53:46Owen's good hand closed around my wrist as I went by.

00:53:49Eleanor, my hand has been paining me.

00:53:52Would you press a fresh shirt for me before I go on rounds?

00:53:55Dr.

00:53:56Pierce blinked.

00:53:58Dr.

00:53:58Hartwild,

00:53:59forgive me,

00:54:00you have someone?

00:54:02We have known each other since she was a month old, Dr.

00:54:04Pierce.

00:54:04Our mothers arranged the matter when she was still in her cradle.

00:54:07I have been the slow party.

00:54:09He did not let go of my wrist.

00:54:11The young doctor's color went from rose to scarlet.

00:54:14She murmured an apology and excused herself down the corridor.

00:54:17Owen and I stood alone in the lamplight.

00:54:19He had not yet released my wrist.

00:54:21I did not lift my eyes.

00:54:23Let me return the camion to you.

00:54:25No.

00:54:26I am a freed woman, Owen.

00:54:28The Alabama legislature dissolved the marriage by special act in this...

00:54:32I have the decree sealed and recorded folded in my trunk.

00:54:34I did not give Rhee the courtesy of telling him.

00:54:36I am a year older than I was on the road.

00:54:39I have just walked out of a restaurant where a man overturned a table for me.

00:54:42I have nothing to offer you that a younger woman would not offer better.

00:54:45Eleanor, would you consider marrying me?

00:54:47I was very quiet for a long moment.

00:54:50The lamp at the end of the corridor hissed.

00:54:54I lifted my chin.

00:54:56Is the courthouse still open at this hour?

00:54:58The clerk owes me a favor.

00:55:01He will open it.

00:55:02Then bring two witnesses.

00:55:04I will fetch my coat.

00:55:05I walked past him toward the women's ward.

00:55:08Halfway down the corridor, I set my hand against the wall as if to steady a chair,

00:55:12and stood there a moment, my shoulders shaking with something that was not yet tears.

00:55:17We were married within the hour, at the back office of the Vicksburg courthouse, by lamplight,

00:55:21with two orderies from the hospital standing as witnesses.

00:55:23The clerk inscribed the certificate with a steel pen.

00:55:25Owen wrote his name first.

00:55:26I wrote mine below in the small precise hand my father had taught me at six.

00:55:29The ink was still wet when Owen folded the paper into the breast of his coat.

00:55:33On the walk back, Owen stopped at the drug mints and bought a paper sack of peppermints.

00:55:38He gave one to every patient, Eleanor, in the ward.

00:55:42He gave one to the orderly who had stood as witness.

00:55:45He gave one to the boy at the gate.

00:55:48We were married this afternoon.

00:55:51You may toast us at supper.

00:55:53A surgeon from Memphis clapped him on the shoulder.

00:55:56A week in town and you have taken Atlanta's best lady doctor.

00:56:00You should run for office, Heartlet.

00:56:02I have known her since before she could hold up her head.

00:56:06I am the one who was slow.

00:56:09That night we took a single room above a quiet boarding house off Washington Street.

00:56:14Owen had cooked supper himself in the landlady's kitchen.

00:56:17A poached chicken and cream.

00:56:20A small dish of stewed apples.

00:56:22A half bottle of clallart a Hartwild cousin had run through the blockade six months earlier.

00:56:28The cameo lay at the hollow of my throat, where it had always belonged.

00:56:34You are beautiful tonight, Mrs. Hartwild.

00:56:38My color had not left my face since the courthouse.

00:56:42I did not look up from my glass.

00:56:46Stop saying that or I will not be able to eat.

00:56:49Then I will say it after supper.

00:56:53He did.

00:56:54He said other things, too, that were not for the page.

00:56:58The lamp burnt low.

00:57:01The cameo grew warm against my skin.

00:57:04Outside, the autumn cold settled deep into the brick of the chimney.

00:57:09And somewhere upriver a steam whistle answered another.

00:57:12I slept without dreams.

00:57:16At first light, boots on the stair below.

00:57:20A heavy stride.

00:57:22A stride I knew.

00:57:24Owen was already sitting up, reaching for his coat.

00:57:28Downstairs, the front window broke.

00:57:31The shot came through the parlor window and lodged in the cornice above the bed.

00:57:36Owen pulled me down with his good arm and held me against the headboard.

00:57:40Glass dusted the rug.

00:57:42Ride's voice came up from the street, horsky and not entirely sober.

00:57:46Hartwild!

00:57:47Come down!

00:57:49Come down or I'll fire the building!

00:58:00I pushed out of Owen's arms and went to the window.

00:58:03He reached for me.

00:58:04I stepped out of his hand.

00:58:06Below in the early street, Rabe stood with a dueling pistol in each hand and three men behind him on

00:58:11horseback.

00:58:12His hat was off.

00:58:14His hair was wet.

00:58:16Whom I marry is no concern of yours, Reed.

00:58:19Reed, put down the pistols and go home.

00:58:21They told me you married him last night!

00:58:25Tell me they lied!

00:58:27If I were you, Ashford, a man who treated her as you treated her, I could not show my face

00:58:33to her again.

00:58:36And yet here you are at her window in the open street in front of witnesses.

00:58:41Holster your pistols.

00:58:43You are embarrassing your grandfather.

00:58:46Reed fired.

00:58:48The ball grazed the curtain at Owen's temple and buried itself in the wardrobe behind us.

00:58:53The sound rang the small room like a bell.

00:58:56I did not move.

00:58:57My shoulder blades were against Owen's chest.

00:58:59My chin was lifted.

00:59:00My face was turned toward the muzzle of the pistol below.

00:59:03Reed!

00:59:04Listen!

00:59:05I spoke quietly, but the street heard me.

00:59:07Hurt my husband and I will not forgive it.

00:59:09Kill him and I will follow him!

00:59:12There will be no Ashford widow waiting for you in Charleston.

00:59:16There will be no woman of yours in any house.

00:59:21There will be a grave next to his, and you may carry the memory the rest of your life.

00:59:26Rialt lowered the pistol an inch.

00:59:28His mouth worked.

00:59:30Then I will lay you both in the Ashford plot.

00:59:34We will haunt each other to the end of the world.

00:59:37He fired the second round into the wall beside the window and turned his horse.

00:59:41The hoofbeats faded down Washington Street.

00:59:43Somewhere a dog began to bark and was silenced by a thrown boot.

00:59:46My knees gave.

00:59:47Owen caught me under the arms and carried me to the bed.

00:59:50He set me against the pillow and pulled the quilt over my shoulders and held my face between his hands.

00:59:54He is noise.

00:59:55He has always been noise.

00:59:56While I am breathing, he will not touch you.

00:59:58I pressed my forehead to his shoulder.

01:00:00His coat smelled of chloroform and cold smoke.

01:00:03Owen, let us go somewhere he cannot find us.

01:00:07Mexico, the Sandwich Islands, anywhere.

01:00:09Not yet.

01:00:10Not while the war needs us.

01:00:11A private grievance is not worth the leaving of a post.

01:00:16I did not answer.

01:00:18That evening, courier knocked at the door with a folded dispatch.

01:00:23Heavy engagement along the Yazak.

01:00:25Three field hospitals shelled.

01:00:27The senior surgeon at Snyder's Bluff was dead of fever.

01:00:31Owen's orders were waiting in the major's tent at first light.

01:00:34He packed his case by lamplight.

01:00:38I sat on the edge of the bed and watched him fold each clean shirt into the leather satsal.

01:00:44He set the Camus' matching gold chain, a thinner one he had bought that morning at the Drugritur's, around my

01:00:51neck, for him to carry away in memory.

01:00:55I will write every week.

01:00:58If the post is cut.

01:01:00I will write every week anyway.

01:01:02And send it when I can.

01:01:05I know.

01:01:13Eleanor.

01:01:14I have been wishing good things upon you for thirty years.

01:01:17I am not going to stop because there is a battle in the way.

01:01:20I rose to walk him to the door.

01:01:22At the threshold, he turned, set down the saddle, took my face in his hands once more, and kissed me

01:01:27without haste.

01:01:30He picked up the satchel.

01:01:36He went down the stair.

01:01:38I stood at the broken window and watched him cross the lamplight street towards the depot.

01:01:43I wanted to call out to tell him to wait.

01:01:46But I knew I couldn't.

01:01:51He raised his good hand once without turning.

01:01:54Then the corner took him, his footsteps fading like a memory.

01:02:01I would not see him for a great while.

01:02:05Behind me, in the bed, the impression of his head was still on the pillow.

01:02:11Letters came once a fortnight.

01:02:13Then once a month.

01:02:16Then a season passed in silence.

01:02:26I moved with my unit when the field hospital was shelled.

01:02:39I moved again when the next post was overrun.

01:02:48Then, I slept in convent cellars and in farmhouse parlors.

01:02:57And once for three nights in the bed of a hay wagon.

01:03:04I set broken femurs by lamp made from a saucer of grease.

01:03:15I closed wounds I could not have closed in Paris.

01:03:19And lost men I could have saved there.

01:03:23I kept his thinner chain at my throat and the cameo beside it.

01:03:27And I kept my face turned toward the work.

01:03:35Word reached the hospital in the spring of the second year.

01:03:39Colonel Reet Ashfield of the cavalry killed in a skirmish 30 miles south of Vicksburg.

01:03:45The body had not been recovered.

01:03:48The horses had come back without him.

01:03:51I sat with the dispatch a long time.

01:03:53I felt no joy in it and no grief.

01:03:56Only a distant, uncomplicated quiet that he might, in another life, have been someone else.

01:04:02And that he had not been.

01:04:08I folded the paper into my case and went back to the wards.

01:04:17The letters from Owen stopped entirely that summer.

01:04:20Six months.

01:04:21Then nine.

01:04:22On a clear morning in autumn, a Union liaisal officer was shown into the small canvas room I used as

01:04:27an office.

01:04:28He removed his hat.

01:04:29He sat down across from me without being asked.

01:04:32Mrs. Hartweid.

01:04:33Dr. Hartweid was carrying disaches three weeks ago when a powder magazine exploded during the siege at Petersburg.

01:04:38A beam struck him at the temple he has been unconscious since.

01:04:41I set down my pen.

01:04:42His family in New Orleans moved him to a private sanitary in Paris.

01:04:45He left written instructions that you were not to be informed.

01:04:48The Paris physicians have given him six months.

01:04:50Six months are now five.

01:04:51His aunt has sent for you.

01:04:52She believes you should see him before treatment is withdrawn.

01:04:54I rose.

01:04:54I walked to the canvas wall.

01:04:56I set my hand against it.

01:04:57As a woman sets her hand against a beam to see if the house is sound.

01:05:01When is the next pack?

01:05:02The sanatorium stood on a quiet street in Passy, behind a garden wall the color of old chalk.

01:05:09Its garden was bare of leaves.

01:05:12Its windows were curtained in white.

01:05:15Aunt Hartweid met me at the door.

01:05:17She was a tall woman in morning gray, with Owen's mouth.

01:05:21He has not stirred in six months.

01:05:24The physicians wish to withdraw the apparatus tomorrow at nine.

01:05:28I thought you should see him first.

01:05:31I thought he deserved the chance to hear your voice before the end.

01:05:36I climbed the carpet stair.

01:05:38He lay very thin in the high bed.

01:05:41His hair had been cropped close.

01:05:45A nursing sister sat beside him with a small spoon and a cup of cool broth.

01:05:50His lips had been kept moist with a folded cloth.

01:05:53His good hand lay open on the coverlet, the one I had stitched, the scar still pink across the back.

01:05:59I sat down.

01:06:01I took his hand.

01:06:05It was warmer than I had braced myself for.

01:06:08For five nights I spoke to him.

01:06:10About the wards.

01:06:11About Reed's death I had not told him of in any letter.

01:06:14About the camion.

01:06:15About the bone in my knee that had begun to ache again in the Paris damp.

01:06:19About a daughter we had not yet had whom I had already begun in my own mind to name.

01:06:23I told him I was furious with him for hiding the wound.

01:06:26I told him he had broken his word.

01:06:29I sat with his hand in mine for a long time, neither speaking nor weeping.

01:06:32Only listening to his breath.

01:06:34Then I told him I loved him and that I would not say it again if he did not wake

01:06:37to hear it.

01:06:39The sixth night Aunt Hartweald came in with her hat in her hand.

01:06:42The physician comes at nine.

01:06:45The flight home is the day after.

01:06:47I have arranged a place beside his mother.

01:06:50I understand.

01:06:52I leaned down and kissed his cool, still mouth.

01:06:56Owen.

01:06:57I forgive you.

01:06:59I am taking back my anger.

01:07:01I will not be your widow.

01:07:03I have years left.

01:07:05I intend to use them.

01:07:07I straightened.

01:07:08I pushed back the chair.

01:07:11I reached for my coat across the foot of the bed.

01:07:15I saw his eyelashes move.

01:07:17I froze with my coat half across my arm, certain I had imagined it.

01:07:22His eyelids moved again.

01:07:24His eyelids opened, slowly, with enormous effort.

01:07:27And his eyes found my face at once.

01:07:29I broke.

01:07:31I had not broken in three years.

01:07:33And I broke now, loudly, without dignity.

01:07:36My hands at my mouth and the coat falling to the floor.

01:07:39I called for the nurse.

01:07:41I called for Aunt Hartwell.

01:07:43I called Owen's name in pieces.

01:07:45His mouth moved.

01:07:47He could not form a sentence.

01:07:49He said my name, slowly, in three breaths.

01:07:53Don't cry.

01:07:55Eleanor, laughing through tears.

01:07:57You do not get to tell me anything.

01:07:59You almost died.

01:08:00In the doorway, Aunt Hartwith stood with her hat in her hand.

01:08:06After a long moment, she allowed herself, very slowly, to smile.

01:08:14Ten years passed in Paris and London, a small clinic in Geneva.

01:08:19Owen recovered slowly.

01:08:21Our daughter was born on a morning in May, and we named her Hope.

01:08:26The war ended at last in the spring of Hope's tenth year.

01:08:34And we came home.

01:08:44Washington, twenty years on.

01:08:46The morning of my retirement was cold and clean.

01:08:49Owen drove up to the institute steps in a hired carriage.

01:08:52His hair had gone entirely white.

01:08:54So had mine.

01:08:55He carried a small bunch of white roses wrapped in brown paper.

01:08:59Owen stepped down and offered his arm.

01:09:01I came out between the columns with my satchel over my shoulder, the same satchel I had carried

01:09:05out of Charleston Harbor on a steamer fifty years ago.

01:09:08The cameo he had back of his right hand, where I had stitched him at Vicksburg, was thirty

01:09:12years old and silver.

01:09:14Congratulations, Mrs. Hartwear.

01:09:16Welcome to the country of the retired.

01:09:17I took the roses.

01:09:19I held them against my coat.

01:09:21I looked at him a moment as if deciding what to do with the news I had been carrying all

01:09:25morning.

01:09:26Did the assistant not tell you?

01:09:28I have been reappointed.

01:09:29Owen removed his spectacles.

01:09:30He polished them on his handkerchief with great care.

01:09:32He put them back on.

01:09:33He looked at me.

01:09:34And the corner of his mouth lifted in the small private way it had lifted at me every

01:09:36morning for forty years.

01:09:38Then congratulations, Mrs. Hartweather.

01:09:39We continue.

01:09:40We continue.

01:09:41I have been reappointed as well.

01:09:42Tuesday.

01:09:43Of course you have.

01:09:45He pushed open the carriage door.

01:09:48I climbed in.

01:09:49He set the roses across my lap.

01:09:52And climbed in after me.

01:09:55The horse started forward over the cold cobbles.

01:09:59The institute steps slid past the window.

01:10:01And beyond them the capitol dome stood pale against an autumn sky.

01:10:06He reached across the seat and took my hand.

01:10:08The morning sun came through the carriage glass and lit us both.

01:10:11White haired.

01:10:12Bone tired.

01:10:13Still here.

01:10:14On the first weekend after our new clinic was established in Washington, the sky finally

01:10:19cleared.

01:10:20Our daughter, Hope, sent a long letter from medical school.

01:10:24Owen sat by the fireplace, wearing his gold-rimmed spectacles, reading it to me word by word.

01:10:30Whenever he reached an exciting part, the faded scar on his right hand, which I had stitched

01:10:36with my own hands in Vicksburg, would trace a faint arc in the air with his gestures.

01:10:44Those nightmares that had once snapped my dignity, inch by inch and ruthlessly crushed my unborn child, had finally faded

01:10:52into nothing more than a separation agreement locked at the bottom of a trunk.

01:10:59In the afternoon, an elderly woman from Virginia brought her grandson, who had a fractured finger, into

01:11:08flinnick.

01:11:09I retrieved splints from the old medical bag that had accompanied me for fifty years.

01:11:17As I gently held the boy's tender fingers, Owen naturally handed me a finely shaved wooden

01:11:23splint.

01:11:24The moment he leaned in, his shoulder was as steady and reassuring as it always had been.

01:11:32Fate had once forced me to stand barefoot on freezing gravel, bleeding until I grew numb.

01:11:39But now, these hands no longer needed to grip cold revolvers.

01:11:45Instead, under the warm afternoon sun, they gently smoothed away a child's pain.

01:11:51Before leaving, the old woman left two freshly picked oranges on the table.

01:11:56The crisp fragrance instantly filled the small clinic, smelling remarkably like the orange conservatory

01:12:01back at the Ashford Plantation, a place that could never be returned to.

01:12:13Looking at the oranges, I suddenly let out a soft laugh with no bitterness left in my heart.

01:12:21What are you laughing at, Mrs. Hartwell?

01:12:24I am laughing at the two of us, a pair of old folks who are supposed to be retired.

01:12:31Tonight, I think I would like to use these two oranges to brew a hot pot of tea with cinnamon.

01:12:37Owen bowed slightly to me like a devout gentleman.

01:12:41It would be my honor, Eleanor.

01:12:45As long as it is your prescription, I have never intended to refuse it in my entire life.

01:12:52The twilight of Washington began to fall,

01:12:54and the first batch of lonely yet brilliant stars rose in the clean night sky.

01:12:59We stood side by side beneath the sign of our new clinic,

01:13:03watching the city lights flicker on one by one.

01:13:06This road had been long and slow, filled with hardships and blood.

01:13:10But at the end of this world, our tomorrow still waited for us,

01:13:14on the sun-dank streets ahead,

01:13:16waiting for us to finish walking it hand in hand.

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