- 9 hours ago
My Love Touches the Divine
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:12I'm sorry, Mother. I still cannot hold the Trident.
00:19Do not despair, my son. You know the ancient law.
00:23The Relic will not answer until you unite with your destined love.
00:27It is the only way to unlock your full power.
00:31You must journey to the mortal realm and find her.
00:35Hear me, Poseidon. Among all your siblings, you alone remain unchosen by the Trident.
00:40It shall be done, Mother. I will not fail you.
01:17If a little dirt and rags repel them, they certainly don't deserve to be my destined mate.
01:31Jennifer, you're nothing but a blood-sucking leap.
01:34You ever pull a stunt like that again, I'll throw your ass straight back into that rat-infested teller.
01:41But, Father, I can't marry Paul. The guy is knocking on Seventy's door. He can't even stomach a boat ride
01:47anymore.
01:47I can earn that hundred gold pieces myself. Just cut me some slack.
01:51You don't get to call the shots here. You should be kissing Mr. Paul's feet for even looking at you.
01:57Your only job is keeping him happy. Don't make him regret dropping a hundred gold balls on you.
02:03Ah, Jen, Daddy picked out a fiancé for me, too. We're in the same boat.
02:08I'm sure Mr. Paul will treat you like royalty, just like my Ryan treats you.
02:11Are you kidding me? You're marrying a young, gorgeous guy and being pawned off to a seventy-year-old geese
02:15with one foot in the grave
02:15and as his side piece, not his wife! It's not the same, Michelle!
02:21Shut your damn mouth, you ungrateful bitch!
02:23I've already pocketed Paul's gold. He's throwing in two ships once you're delivered.
02:27Like it or not, you are warming his bed tonight.
02:31If you actually force me into this, I swear to God I'll run off and become a nun.
02:36I'll pray every single day for the Almighty to punish you. You will rot in hell!
02:41Fine, Jennifer!
02:44You want to play hardball? I'll give you one last choice.
02:47If you're too good for Mr. Paul, then you can marry this stinking beggar right here, right now!
03:07Fine! Bring it on! I'll marry the beggar today!
03:14Hey, you pathetic piece of trash.
03:16Let's be real. You were destined to die alone in a gutter.
03:19But today's your lucky day. You won't say no to a free wife, right?
03:33Wait, she didn't even flinch at the sight of me? Looks like this mortal is built different.
03:39Yeah.
03:43I'd be absolutely honored to take her as my wife.
03:58Holy crap! I can't believe Mason actually pawned his own daughter off to that bottom-feeling tram.
04:02Jesus, look at the guy. He couldn't rub two pennies together if his life depended on it.
04:05Jennifer's in for a world of hurt.
04:10Father never gave a damn about me.
04:12He's a cold-blooded snake who only cares about my price tag.
04:17I'd rather tie the knot with a street rat than be auctioned off like meat.
04:21I am so done with this toxic hellhole.
04:26Hear what they're whispering, Jennifer?
04:28If my beggar routine gross you out, you can still walk away.
04:34No way.
04:35You might think I'm crazy, but to me, you're a literal godsend.
04:42Let's get out of here, honey.
04:44I mean my dear husband.
04:56I'm sorry, Jennifer.
04:57What you see is what you get.
04:59No cozy honeymoon suite tonight.
05:01Just this beat-up, drafty old fishing boat.
05:03Hey, cut that out.
05:04We're hitched now, and I'm not looking down on you.
05:06For better or worse, we're in this ride together.
05:08We're in this ride together.
05:41Oh my god, what the hell just happened?
05:43Where did this insane crystal palaces come from?
05:54Don't sweat the details right now.
06:01Jennifer, my sweet, it's still our wedding night.
06:05Are you ready to give yourself to me?
06:10Absolutely.
06:11Like I said, we're husband and wife now.
06:19Trust me, I'm going to make you the happiest woman on the planet.
06:42I'm going to make you the happiest woman on the planet.
06:54Lord Poseidon, Lord Poseidon.
06:55Sorry to crash the party, but Zeus is stuck in the Divine Labyrinth.
06:58The All-Mother needs you for a rescue op.
07:00Stack.
07:10Sweetheart, an emergency just came up, and I've got to go.
07:12Don't panic.
07:13I'll be back in your arms in nine days, tops.
07:33Mother, what the hell happened?
07:35Why do I feel like I just woke up from a century-long fever dream?
07:40Poseidon, you're finally awake.
07:44Remember that ancient curse you tripped Bailing Zeus out?
07:47That's what knocked you out cold.
08:05Merciful Seas, the Trident actually accepted you?
08:09Don't tell me you finally tracked down the mortal
08:12who's head over heels for you.
08:23Spill it!
08:24Who is she?
08:26Just a regular mortal girl.
08:29But to me, she's everything.
08:32We're already married, Mother.
08:34If it weren't for that damn curse,
08:35I'd have paraded her up to Olympia's ages ago.
08:39Praise the oceans!
08:41Listen to me, kiddo.
08:42Go fetch her right this second.
08:44I am literally dying to meet this girl.
08:49Say less, Mother.
08:50Consider it done.
08:52Hold on, Poseidon.
08:53There's a catch.
08:54You've been in that coma for nine whole years.
08:59Which means...
09:00Which means...
09:00That poor girl has been waiting for you for nine solid years!
09:05Are you kidding?
09:06I ghosted Jennifer for nine fucking years?!
09:08No, this is beyond messed up.
09:10I need to get down there right now.
09:25Ugh, too basic.
09:27Go raid the Divine Vault for the golden apples.
09:30I need to absolutely blow this girl's mind.
09:33Actually, scratch that.
09:35I'm crashing the mortal realm
09:37to roll out the red carpet myself.
09:54It's been nine goddamn years.
09:57How much longer is it going to take
09:58for him to show his face again?
10:01Why the hell is my chamber pot
10:03from yesterday still sitting there?
10:08I'm literally scrubbing the clothes
10:10you and Father just dumped on me.
10:11I'll get to it!
10:12You brainless cow!
10:14The goddamn stench ruined my dresses!
10:16I let you and your two little bastards crash here!
10:18I feed you,
10:19and you can't even handle one basic chore?!
10:21Hey, back the hell off.
10:22This is my house, too.
10:25Ah!
10:27You have no right to run your mouth at me!
10:29Those brats of yours are just like you!
10:31Ungrateful, blood-sucking parasites!
10:34Mom!
10:34Mom!
10:36You know damn well the kids and I bust our asses!
10:39Look around!
10:40We're the only ones keeping this damn house
10:41from falling apart!
10:46That's because doing the grunt work
10:47is exactly what you filthy roaches
10:49were born to do!
10:51Back off!
10:53Don't you dare touch our mother!
10:59You filthy little street rat bastards!
11:01That's what you get for running your mouths
11:03at Lady Jessica!
11:04You freaks should have been
11:05chucked in the ocean at birth!
11:06Strip them,
11:07douse them in ice water,
11:08and lock them in the stables!
11:09Sneak them a single crumb,
11:11and they'll be hell to pay!
11:14Chill, Mom.
11:16Don't forget Ryan's chauffeuring us
11:17to the Temple of Poseidus.
11:19Just make these useless peasants
11:20haul the offerings.
11:22Shake a leg and get in the damn carriage!
11:24We can't keep my big-shot son-in-law waiting!
11:45This is seriously creeping me out.
11:47Why does this temple feel so warm and familiar?
11:56Wait, that era.
11:57The bloodline of the Sea God?
12:00How the hell did it end up here?
12:07Oh, almighty Lord of the Sea.
12:09We offer these tributes
12:11with the purest intentions.
12:13Bless our merchant fleets
12:14and bring us great fortune.
12:17Stop standing around like idiots!
12:19Your only job right now
12:20is to pray to the Sea God
12:21to protect Ryan's fleet!
12:24Honestly,
12:25letting gutter trash like you
12:26even breathe in the direction
12:27of the Sea God
12:28is a massive privilege.
12:29Keep dragging your feet
12:31and I'll assume
12:31you're itching for the stables.
12:34Maybe if I pray to the statue
12:35it'll actually bring my husband
12:37back safely.
12:41No!
12:42Stop!
12:43We cannot bear the worship
12:45of the heirs of the Sea God!
12:48Oh, great Sea God,
12:50please just let my husband
12:51come home soon.
12:52Oh, great Sea God,
12:54please just let our dad
12:56come home safely.
13:21What the actual hell
13:23just happened?
13:24Why did the statues
13:26just nuke themselves?
13:30Somebody seriously
13:31pissed off the Sea God!
13:33His rage just blew
13:34those statues
13:35to smithogreens!
13:43If the Sea God
13:44is throwing a tantrum,
13:45anyone who makes a dime
13:46off the ocean
13:47is screwed!
13:49God damn it!
13:50Who has the absolute stones
13:52to piss off the Sea God
13:53if the ocean slaps
13:55a curse on us,
13:56our entire cash flow
13:57goes down the toilet!
13:59Listen up, people!
14:00It has to be them!
14:01Their filthy bastard bloodline
14:03completely rash the temple's vibe!
14:05So it was you,
14:06three little rats!
14:07Growl for forgiveness
14:08right this minute,
14:09or I swear to God
14:10your lives are going to
14:11a waking nightmare!
14:13A waking nightmare!
14:15Son of a bitch!
14:17How dare they treat
14:18the airs to the sea
14:18like garbage!
14:19We're stuck in phantom mode
14:20and can't do shit!
14:22Keto,
14:22ping Lord Poseidon
14:23right now!
14:25No!
14:26My kid's blood isn't filthy!
14:28We literally haven't done
14:29a single thing wrong,
14:30so why the hell
14:31would the Sea God
14:31be pissed at us?
14:32This is absolute bullshit!
14:34Shut your mouth, peasant!
14:35Grab them!
14:36Burn them at the stake!
14:38The only way to calm
14:39the Sea God's rage
14:40is absolute agony!
14:52No!
14:52No!
14:53Stop!
15:02Holy crap,
15:03it's Lord Poseidon!
15:09Stand down!
15:19Hold up,
15:20did anyone else
15:20just hear that?
15:23Damn it,
15:24we're too far!
15:25Poseidon can't manifest here!
15:26Just hang on
15:27a little longer!
15:28My lady,
15:29little ones,
15:29you gotta believe me!
15:30He's coming!
15:32Burning the main
15:33enough for the Sea God,
15:34he's sending us a sign.
15:38Father,
15:39word is the Sea God
15:40skins traitors alive,
15:41packs their raw flesh
15:42with boiling sand
15:43and crushed shells,
15:44turning them into gravel
15:45to walk on for eternity.
15:47Father,
15:48my kids and I
15:49are innocent!
15:50The real sinners
15:51are these sick freaks
15:52putting their hands
15:52hands on children!
15:53Oh,
15:54so the Sea God's pissed at us?
15:55His biggest believers?
15:57Bullshit!
15:57I dump cash and prayers
15:59on his altar every year,
16:00while you,
16:00you filthy peasants,
16:01ain't cocked up shit!
16:02Ship it,
16:03Jennifer!
16:03You're a completely lost
16:05pause!
16:08Mom!
16:09Mom!
16:10Mom!
16:14Look,
16:14Jen,
16:15I didn't want to get
16:16my hands dirty,
16:17but you brought
16:17the Sea God's
16:18haul down on us.
16:19Skinning you alive
16:20is the only way
16:21we're buying
16:22our ticket out of this.
16:25Back off,
16:26you ugly witch!
16:27Don't you dare
16:28lay a thing
16:28on our mom!
16:30Mom!
16:36You little maggot!
16:38This is what happens
16:39when you piss off
16:40the Sea God!
16:42You're not dragging
16:43our whole family
16:44to hell with you!
16:52You dirty little
16:54bastards!
16:55Don't think for a second
16:57you're dragging
16:58us down with you!
17:00No!
17:01Michelle,
17:02let go of my kids!
17:04It's my skin!
17:05I'll take the hit!
17:06Just don't touch them!
17:10Jennifer!
17:11This is your
17:12goddamn fault!
17:13If you hadn't hitched
17:14your wagon to that
17:15filthy street rat
17:16and pout these
17:16bastards,
17:17we wouldn't be
17:18in this mess!
17:19No,
17:20put this all on me!
17:21Chris and Sophia
17:22are good kids!
17:24They're your own
17:25flesh and blood!
17:26For God's sake,
17:26you can't do this!
17:28Get the hell off me!
17:29I don't have any
17:30filthy grandchildren!
17:31What the hell
17:32are you brain-dead
17:33idiots waiting for?
17:34Skin them alive
17:34already!
17:36No!
17:41These mortals!
17:43No!
17:43These monsters!
17:45How dare they
17:46stoop this low!
17:50Screw it!
17:51I'm taking my
17:52true form to
17:53save the heirs!
17:59Thomas, stop!
18:01You know the rules.
18:03If you manifest
18:04in the mortal realm,
18:05you break the law of fate.
18:06You'll be wiped
18:07from existence.
18:12No!
18:13Get your filthy hands
18:15off my kids!
18:24Do it like this!
18:26Put your backs into it!
18:27If you let these little
18:28rats slip because you
18:29grew a conscience,
18:30I'll sell your asses
18:32to the galleys!
18:37I can't stomach
18:39this anymore!
18:40Even if it vaporizes
18:41my soul,
18:42I am saving
18:42those heirs!
18:48Wait,
18:49Samus!
18:50I feel the power
18:52of the sea god!
19:10Back the hell off!
19:21It's Lord Poseidon's.
19:23The boss is actually
19:24back.
19:27Jennifer,
19:28sweetheart,
19:29I'm here.
19:30I am so sorry
19:31I let you go
19:31through this hell.
19:33It's really you?
19:34Thank God he actually
19:36brought you back
19:37to me.
19:37Look,
19:38this is Chris
19:39and Sophia.
19:41Our kids!
19:43Dad,
19:44we totally knew
19:46it was you!
19:46You actually came back!
19:48What in the hell
19:49just happened?
19:50Jesus,
19:51how'd I end up
19:52eating dirt?
19:53Father,
19:54forget that look
19:55over there!
19:56That filthy beggar
19:57is back!
19:58Talk!
20:00Right now!
20:01Who did this?
20:03Which one of you
20:03sick freaks
20:04had the balls
20:05to touch Jennifer
20:06and my kids?
20:07You don't get
20:07to question us.
20:09Jennifer and your
20:09two little roaches
20:10pissed off the sea god.
20:12They brought this
20:12shitstorm on us.
20:14As their father,
20:14you should be paying
20:15for their sins
20:16with your life!
20:18Almighty sea god,
20:19please forgive us.
20:20These four impure wretches
20:22aren't part of our family.
20:23Don't lump us in
20:24with their sins.
20:25I'll skin them
20:25and burn them alive
20:26right now
20:27to appease your rage!
20:35You absolute clowns.
20:37You keep running
20:38your mouths
20:38about my family
20:39pissing off
20:40the sea god
20:41without realizing
20:43I am the sea god!
21:08it's just a cheap
21:12dark magic trick.
21:13If the real sea god
21:15was here,
21:15we'd all be dead meat!
21:17He actually has
21:18the balls
21:19to impersonate
21:20the sea god?
21:20If the real god
21:21finds out
21:22we worship
21:22the damn warlock,
21:23we're cooked!
21:24We gotta skin
21:24this freak
21:25and his family
21:26alive
21:26before anyone
21:27finds out!
21:28You arrogant,
21:29brain-death mortals.
21:31You tortured
21:32my wife
21:33and kids,
21:34so now
21:35I'm thing Terrive.
21:36I'm bringing down
21:37the ocean's wrath.
21:39I'll give you
21:39a front-row seat
21:41to exactly
21:41who you're
21:42messing with.
21:49No freaking way.
21:50Is this filthy
21:52beggar actually
21:52the sea god?
22:01Ha!
22:02Look at that!
22:03I totally
22:04called it!
22:05This filthy
22:06street rat
22:07is a complete
22:07fraud!
22:16What the hell
22:17is happening
22:17to my hand?
22:34Wait,
22:35why did the
22:35sea god statue
22:36just blow
22:37to pieces?
22:38You brain-dead
22:39idiots!
22:40The real sea god
22:41is pissed
22:41because this
22:42peasant is playing
22:43dress up
22:44with his name!
22:45Help me pin
22:46this bastard
22:46down and
22:47finish him!
22:48Step on it!
22:49If we don't
22:50string them up
22:50right now,
22:51the sea god
22:51is gonna wipe
22:52us off the map!
22:53The ocean
22:53will swallow
22:54us whole!
22:55Freeze!
22:57Look!
22:57He's running
22:58on fumes!
22:59Now's our window
23:00to take this
23:00warwick out!
23:02What the hell
23:03is going on?
23:04Enough!
23:06I'll let it slide
23:07you got played
23:08earlier.
23:08But from this
23:09second on,
23:09if you touch
23:10my wife and
23:11kids,
23:11I'll rain
23:11literal hellfire
23:13on you!
23:13You gullible
23:15morons.
23:16Everyone knows
23:17Jennifer hitched
23:18a beggar
23:19nine years ago.
23:20Like the sea
23:21dotted would
23:22moo light as a
23:23tramp.
23:23Like he'd
23:24knock up a
23:24slut like Jennifer
23:25and just poop
23:26into thin air.
23:27I bet my
23:28bottom dollar
23:29this rat spent
23:30the last nine
23:30years grinding
23:31dark magic.
23:35Damn straight.
23:37A true god
23:38is untouchable.
23:39You hack
23:40this warlock
23:41to pieces
23:42and I'll toss
23:44you ten gold
23:45coins right
23:46here.
23:47Right now.
24:01unfreaking
24:02believable.
24:04The guy's
24:05literally made
24:06of steel.
24:10Almighty
24:10sea god,
24:12please forgive
24:13your cluteless
24:14blind believers.
24:15You unrepentant
24:17mortals.
24:18You actually
24:19tried to weaponize
24:20my own followers
24:21against me?
24:22You vicious
24:24brain dead
24:24clowns.
24:25Time to face
24:26the music.
24:32Holy crap,
24:33he really is
24:33the sea god.
24:34We are dead
24:35meat.
24:39What just
24:40happened?
24:41Why am I running
24:41on empty?
24:42No, the coma.
24:44I burned
24:44through all my
24:45divine mocha
24:46fighting off that
24:46damn curse for
24:47nine years.
24:51This damn
24:51sorcerer is
24:52gaslighting us
24:53with illusion.
24:54We need to get
24:54the high priest
24:55down here to
24:56wreck him.
24:57You absolute
24:58idiots.
24:59Do you seriously
25:00think this washed
25:01up bum is the
25:01sea god?
25:02He's just a
25:03wicked warlock.
25:04If he was
25:05actually Poseidon,
25:06he wouldn't be
25:07this pathetic.
25:09It's an ancient
25:10curse.
25:10I tank my powers
25:12fighting it off.
25:13That's why I'm
25:13weakened.
25:14You brain dead
25:15sheep.
25:16Only morons
25:16swallow a lie
25:17that pathetic.
25:18Anyone who
25:19sides with this
25:20warlock has
25:20catched hell
25:21when the real
25:21god finds out.
25:30shut the hell
25:31up.
25:32Who's got the
25:33nerve to
25:34impersonate the
25:35sea god under
25:36my roof?
25:42A little birdie
25:44told me some
25:44crackpop in here
25:46is parading around
25:47calling himself
25:48the sea god.
25:50Your holiness,
25:51it's this wicked
25:51warlock.
25:52He's using dark
25:53magic to fake
25:53being the sea god
25:54and scam our
25:55tributes.
25:55High priest,
25:56you're the only
25:57hotline to the
25:58sea god.
25:59If he was
25:59really coming
26:00down, he'd
26:00have given you
26:01a heads up.
26:08I haven't heard
26:09a damn thing
26:09thing about
26:10the sea god
26:11coming down.
26:12You're just
26:12some two-bit
26:12sorcerer using
26:14cheap magic to
26:15play god.
26:17The high priest
26:18is his top
26:19servant.
26:20This guy really
26:21is just a fraud
26:22putting on a
26:23cheap magic act.
26:24Make him
26:25pay!
26:28Thank God
26:29for the high
26:30priest.
26:31We almost
26:31bought the
26:32scam.
26:33The sea god
26:34would have
26:35been pissed
26:36and we'd
26:37be dead
26:37meat.
26:40What a joke.
26:41I don't have
26:42some mortal
26:42messenger down
26:43here.
26:43He's full of
26:44shit.
26:45You arrogant
26:46little speck,
26:47did you really
26:47think you could
26:47hijack my name
26:48without facing
26:49my wrath?
26:50You son of a
26:51bitch!
26:51How dare you
26:52slander me!
26:53I'm tossing
26:54your ass in the
26:55dungeon and
26:55executing you
26:56myself!
27:19holy crap, what's
27:20happening?
27:21The high priest
27:22just got zapped by
27:22lightning!
27:23Is that guy
27:24actually the sea god?
27:29Bullshit!
27:30Impossible!
27:31Yeah, that was
27:32the sea god's wrath!
27:34Warning me!
27:35Because you
27:36spinless cowards
27:37are dragging
27:38your feet!
27:39Letting this
27:39goddamn warlock
27:40run free
27:41in his temple!
27:43Oh, it was
27:44his wrath, alright.
27:45But who do you
27:46think called it down?
27:48Listen up!
27:49Defy the sea god
27:51and you'll get
27:52worse than
27:53lightning!
27:54He'll unleash
27:54a tidal wave
27:55and wash
27:56every last traitor
27:57straight to hell!
28:10Ignorant sheep.
28:26No freaking
28:27way!
28:36No freaking
28:37way!
28:38Even running
28:38on a fraction
28:39of my power
28:40you bottom
28:41feeders
28:41couldn't lay
28:42a finger
28:42on my family.
28:46Guys, listen.
28:47There is
28:47zero chance
28:48he's the sea god.
28:49Since when
28:49does a god
28:50fall for
28:50a random
28:51munal?
28:51It's a joke!
28:52He's a
28:53cheap warlock!
28:54Hold the line!
28:55Did you
28:55idiots forget
28:56his orders?
28:56Want to get
28:57swallowed
28:58by a tidal wave?
28:59We're dead
28:59meat if you
29:00back down!
29:02But his
29:03voodoo
29:03is too strong!
29:04We can't
29:05even dent
29:06this freakish
29:07water wall!
29:08Bullshit!
29:09Every trick
29:09has a loophole!
29:10Hurl every
29:11sharp object
29:12we've got!
29:12Something's
29:13bound to
29:13bust this
29:14cheap-ass
29:14force-mailed...
29:22You just whipped
29:23up a freaking
29:24magical shield
29:25out of thin
29:25air?
29:26Are you
29:27actually
29:28the sea god?
29:30You bet he is,
29:31sweetie.
29:32Your dad
29:32would never
29:32lie to you.
29:36All right,
29:37if standard
29:37weapons can't
29:38cut through
29:38this voodoo,
29:39it's time to
29:40bring out
29:40the big gun.
29:43Watch and
29:44weep,
29:45warlock!
29:46I don't care
29:47how strong
29:48your mojo
29:48is,
29:49it ain't
29:49surviving
29:50the sea god's
29:51anchor!
29:56Try to
29:57shield
29:57Jennifer!
30:10Try to
30:11shield
30:11Jennifer!
30:23Are you
30:24kidding me?
30:24How did the
30:25sea god's
30:26anchor snap
30:26like a twig?
30:27Who the hell
30:28are you?
30:30I warned you,
30:32you absolute
30:32fools!
30:33Open your
30:33damn eyes!
30:35This is the
30:35trident, the
30:36ultimate symbol
30:37of the ocean,
30:38and I am
30:39its master,
30:40Poseidon,
30:41the sea god.
30:43The sea god?
30:44He actually
30:45is the sea god.
30:46Sweet Jesus,
30:47what the hell
30:47have I done?
30:50You've hijacked
30:51my name to
30:52scam my
30:53believers for
30:53years,
30:54just to
30:54line your
30:55own pockets!
30:56That is an
30:57unforgivable
30:58sin!
31:05No, almighty
31:06sea god, mercy!
31:08William
31:08brain-mashed us!
31:09We never
31:10wanted to
31:10hurt your
31:10family!
31:15Lord
31:15these monsters
31:16put you
31:17and the
31:17kids
31:17through
31:17absolute
31:18hell.
31:19It's your
31:20call.
31:21How do you
31:21want me to
31:22finish them?
31:22No!
31:24Jennifer,
31:25my precious
31:25daughter,
31:26don't do
31:26this!
31:26You know
31:27me, I
31:27would never
31:27truly hurt
31:28you!
31:29Okay, I
31:29screwed up, I
31:30admit it, but I
31:31see the light now,
31:32we share the same
31:33blood, we're
31:34family!
31:35Please, Jennifer,
31:36don't let him
31:37wipe us off the
31:38map over a
31:38grudge.
31:39Think of the
31:40kids!
31:41Exactly!
31:42Jennifer, my
31:43sweet sister, we
31:44share the same
31:45blood.
31:46I swear to God,
31:47I'll never pull
31:47this shit again!
31:49Please, cut us
31:50a break!
31:55Honey, I'm not a
31:56monster like them.
31:57They still share
31:58blood with our
31:59kids.
32:00I won't plant that
32:01toxic seed of
32:01hatred in Chris
32:02and Sophia's
32:03heads.
32:03Let's just walk
32:04away.
32:05I just want a
32:06peaceful life.
32:29Well, look at
32:30you, gorgeous!
32:33You must be my
32:34boy, Poseidon's
32:35wife.
32:36Absolutely
32:36stunning.
32:48Mother, oh my
32:50goodness, and who
32:52are these two
32:53adorable little
32:53monkeys?
32:56Mother, these are
32:58the kids Jennifer
32:58gave me.
32:59Pretty cute,
33:00right?
33:01Grandma!
33:02Grandma!
33:05Are you
33:06kidding me?
33:07Nobody told me I
33:08hit the absolute
33:09jackpot!
33:12I packed way
33:13too light, but
33:14don't worry,
33:15darlings.
33:16Grandma's gonna
33:16spoil you rotten
33:17once we get
33:18home.
33:23What the actual
33:24hell?
33:26I've never seen
33:27this much gold!
33:30One single gem
33:31off those chests
33:32could buy out
33:32our entire fleet!
33:39Come along, my
33:40precious grandbabies.
33:42Let Grandma show
33:43you how we do
33:44real gifts.
34:05take a look, kiddos.
34:07A little welcome gift
34:08from Grandma.
34:10What do you think?
34:11We'd love anything you
34:13give us, Grandma,
34:14but there's literally
34:15nothing here.
34:16Ha ha ha ha ha!
34:41Whoa, this is freaking
34:43awesome!
34:44Oh, it melts my heart
34:46to see you love it.
34:48Thanks a million, Grandma!
34:50Jennifer, my dear,
34:51slap on this pearl
34:52necklace and you'll
34:53literally never age.
34:55This bracelet makes you
34:56bulletproof to disease.
34:57And this ring calls down
34:59lightning on demand.
35:00Just a little welcome
35:01to the family starter pack.
35:03No way, Mother!
35:04These are priceless!
35:04I can't accept them!
35:09Oh, my God!
35:10I am so, so sorry!
35:11I swear it slipped!
35:12Jessica used to beat me
35:13black and blue
35:14just for breaking
35:14a cheap bowl.
35:15Now I've shattered
35:16something priceless
35:17from the sea god's mother.
35:18She's gonna skin me alive!
35:20Hey, deep breaths,
35:21Jennifer.
35:22Relax.
35:23Remember,
35:24Mother gave those to you.
35:25They're yours now.
35:26You can smash
35:27every last one of them
35:28if it makes you happy.
35:33Oh, sweetheart,
35:34no!
35:35This is 100% on me.
35:37I totally forgot
35:38that necklace is so
35:38packed with magic
35:39it shatters on impact.
35:41I can't believe
35:42I almost gave you
35:42a heart attack.
35:43Bad Grandma.
35:44Jennifer, honey,
35:45stop walking on eggshells.
35:47Chuck this bling
35:47at the wall for fun.
35:48Break it all!
35:49Bring fresh batches
35:50until you realize
35:51you're one of us.
35:53Thank you, Mother.
35:55Hold on, Poseidon.
35:56Where's your gift?
35:57This poor girl
35:57went through nine years
35:58of hell
35:59because you face-planted
36:00into a coma.
36:01Treat her like royalty
36:02or I'll personally
36:03kick your ass to the curb.
36:04Mother, chill.
36:05I already hooked Jennifer up
36:07with a massive gift
36:08back at my palace.
36:09I just didn't bring it
36:10because I was rushing
36:11to save her.
36:13I'll grab it
36:14the second we kept
36:15breather, babe.
36:18Hold the phone.
36:19I brought a little something
36:20for my new sister-in-law, too.
36:27Look, I'm really sorry,
36:28Jennifer.
36:29This whole disaster
36:30is basically my fault.
36:31You and the kids
36:32got dragged through the mud
36:33because of me.
36:34Consider this a
36:34My Bad Care package.
36:36A massive dose
36:36of raw divine power.
36:38Zeus, you absolute meathead.
36:39Did you completely forget?
36:41Jennifer is still
36:42100% human.
36:44Her mortal body
36:44can't tank
36:45raw divine power yet.
36:47Ah, crap.
36:48My bad, Jennifer.
36:50I totally dropped
36:51the ball on that one.
36:51Brain frat.
36:52Hand it over.
36:55I'll just convert
36:56your raw power
36:57into a mountain
36:57of jewelry
36:58for Jennifer
36:58to make up
36:59for your screw-up.
37:01Jennifer,
37:01our wedding down here
37:02was pretty bare-spoen
37:03and my family missed it.
37:05Let's do a massive blowout.
37:06Invite the whole pantheon
37:07to shower you
37:08and the kids
37:08with blessings.
37:09Sorry, honey.
37:10Can we skip the blowout?
37:11Chris, Sophia,
37:12and I are literally nobodies.
37:14We'd stick out like
37:15Sarah Thies
37:15partying with actual gods.
37:17I'm just really freaked out.
37:19Are they gonna act
37:20like Aunt Michelle
37:21and beat us up
37:21for being trash?
37:23We don't need them.
37:24Just you and Dad
37:25is enough.
37:29My poor sweet babies.
37:30You've been through
37:31the wrencher.
37:32Listen to Grandma, okay?
37:33That nightmare is over.
37:35None of my kids
37:35are toxic snobs like that.
37:37They'll treat you
37:37like absolute royalty.
37:39Damn right.
37:39I guarantee they'll
37:40welcome you with open arms.
37:41And if you're still spooked,
37:43I swear on my life,
37:44as long as I'm breathing,
37:45nobody lays a finger
37:46on you.
37:47Okay, Besteiden.
37:48I trust you.
37:59The wedding dress
38:00is the main event,
38:01and these mortal rags
38:02are tragically basic.
38:05Even top-tier royal outfits
38:07aren't good enough
38:07for our Jennifer.
38:14Grandma,
38:15I brought the wardrobe.
38:23Jennifer, go nuts.
38:25Pick out absolutely
38:27anything you want.
38:28Up here,
38:29we use magic power
38:30like cash,
38:31and Zeus's apology fund
38:33is basically
38:34a bottomless black card.
38:36Unreal.
38:38It's so insanely soft.
38:42I've been stuck in patched up potato sacks
38:44my whole life.
38:45I'm actually allowed to wear this?
38:51Obviously.
38:52But Zeus specifically ordered
38:54that your actual wedding outfits
38:56be custom-made by yours truly.
39:02Hey, Jennifer, look at me.
39:04By the almighty ocean.
39:06My beautiful wife,
39:07how did you get so breathtakingly gorgeous?
39:10Mom, you look insanely pretty.
39:12I had zero clue you were this stunning,
39:14Jennifer,
39:14and your kids are adorable.
39:15Look, I whipped up 200 everyday outfits on the fly.
39:18Just rock these around the palace.
39:20This is just...
39:20Thank you so, so much.
39:22We absolutely love it.
39:25Don't mention it.
39:27But hey, Grandma,
39:28Jennifer and the kids
39:29are practically skin and bones.
39:30We need to put some meat on them.
39:32Hestia's actually been cooking up a storm.
39:34Pretty sure she's en route
39:35with a massive feast
39:36just for Jennifer and the kids.
39:38She even called dibs
39:39on catering the wedding.
39:40You guys seriously
39:41don't have to go all out for me like this.
39:42This is way too much.
39:44Jennifer,
39:45you've raised two kids solo
39:46while getting stomped on by monsters.
39:48Listen to me.
39:49You need to seriously carb load.
39:51Damn right.
39:51Your health is the only thing
39:52I care about.
39:53Don't fight us.
39:54Just be a good girl and eat up.
40:02Hey there, Jennifer.
40:03Come on over.
40:04Dig in and let me know
40:05what hits the spot.
40:15Awesome!
40:16I didn't even know
40:17food could taste this freaking good!
40:24Come on, Jennifer.
40:25Come on, Jennifer.
40:25Let your husband pamper you for a second.
40:27Say ah.
40:44Hope you like the setup, babe.
40:46Mother went totally overboard.
40:48If you hate any of it,
40:49just say the word.
40:49I'll tear it down
40:50and start from scratch.
40:51No sweat.
40:51Oh, don't even worry about it, honey.
40:54I'm obsessed with it.
40:57Jennifer.
40:59Mother's got Chris and Sophia for the night,
41:01so we've got the place to ourselves.
41:03What do you say we go for baby number three?
41:06Oh, honey, no.
41:08Three kids?
41:09I'd lose my mind trying to handle all of them.
41:12Babe, you're married to the sea god.
41:14Even if we're swamped,
41:15my mom and siblings are right next door.
41:17Our kids will never be alone.
41:20Plus, my niece
41:22is literally the goddess of childbirth.
41:24I'd put her on speed dial.
41:25You wouldn't feel a thing.
41:27All right, all right.
41:29You're the boss.
41:48God, Jennifer.
41:50You're just as breathtaking
41:51as the day we married.
42:02Grandma, where's mom?
42:04She's the VIP today.
42:06Why is she MIA?
42:08Hold on a minute, kiddo.
42:10Let's go track down your dad
42:12and figure this out.
42:14Hey, Pestidon,
42:16why the holdup with Jennifer?
42:18Did we hit a snag?
42:20Well,
42:21Jennifer and I didn't get any sleep
42:23until the sun came up.
42:24She's dead to the world,
42:25so I figured I'd let her rest.
42:26I just slipped out.
42:28Freaking believable.
42:29The wedding is literally about to start.
42:31Could you really not keep it
42:32in your pants for one night?
42:33All right, Mother, chill.
42:34I'm going to get her right now.
42:46I'm going to get her right now.
42:57Mother playing favorites, as always.
43:01Giving a punk like Poseidon a palace
43:04this sick.
43:15I'm real.
43:18What's an absolute dime like you
43:20doing hiding out in a place like this?
43:23Hey, gorgeous.
43:24Hades,
43:25god of the underworld.
43:26Ditch this snooze fest
43:28and come be my queen.
43:29Yeah, hard pass.
43:30Not interested.
43:37Ditch this snooze fest
43:38But that's not really your call
43:40to make, sweetheart.
43:47Back off!
43:59Hades,
44:00what the hell do you think you're doing?
44:05Well, color me shocked.
44:08Who'd have guessed a stunner like this
44:10was hitched to a meathead like you?
44:12You.
44:17Hades,
44:18if we didn't share a mother,
44:19I'd gut you where you stand.
44:25What the hell is going on here?
44:29Hades,
44:30how did I raise such a scumbag?
44:33Apologize to Jennifer.
44:35Right now!
44:37My bad, Jennifer.
44:38Didn't know who you were.
44:39Take half my divine power
44:40as a peace offering.
44:41It'll make you completely immortal.
44:43Just let it slide, mother.
44:44The wedding's starting.
44:45Let's not waste another second
44:47on this creep.
44:56In the name of the sea god,
44:58I swear Jennifer is my one
45:00and only wife.
45:01From this day forward,
45:02she shares the full power
45:03of the ocean with me.
45:04I swear on my life
45:07to be completely faithful
45:08to Poseidon
45:09until my last breath.
45:21Mom and Dad are gonna live
45:22happily ever after with us!
45:40Grandma, mom only wakes up
45:42on time when we're around.
45:43We wanna have a sleepover
45:45with mom.
45:48All right, my sweet little angels,
45:50let it go.
45:51Your dad's got your mom
45:52on lockdown tonight.
46:02Honey, thank you
46:03for giving me
46:03such a warm, happy home.
46:05This place is everything
46:06I've ever dreamed of.
46:11If you know love it here,
46:13we'll just put down roots.
46:16Honestly,
46:16the only things worth a damn
46:18back at my palace
46:18are your gifts anyway.
46:20I'll swing by
46:21and haul them over tomorrow.
46:34I won't break my promise
46:35this time, I swear.
46:38Three days tops.
46:40And this little toy boat,
46:41if you run into trouble,
46:43just crush it
46:44and I'll be there
46:44in a heartbeat.
46:54And this barrier,
46:56unless you say so,
46:58it'll bounce every single person
46:59trying to get in.
47:03Stay safe out there, honey.
47:07Dad, hurry back
47:08so we can play!
47:24This is it!
47:26Look at this place!
47:28Hades better not be playing us.
47:30He swore if we pull this off,
47:31he'd bring our family's empire
47:33back from the dead!
47:36Hell no, he wouldn't.
47:38He's the god of the underworld.
47:41The sea god basically
47:42nuked our family.
47:44Lord Hades is our only lifeline.
47:53Over here!
47:54Bet you can't catch us!
47:57Chris, Sophia, slow down.
47:58You're gonna eat dirt.
48:00We don't care if we get hurt.
48:01When dad gets back,
48:03he can patch us up in seconds.
48:08Yoo-ho!
48:09Jennifer!
48:10Come look who's here!
48:12Why the hell is the door locked?
48:15We're your flesh and blood!
48:17Don't tell me you got amnesia already!
48:20Nice try,
48:21but that ain't happening!
48:25Son of a bitch!
48:28Hades called it.
48:29The sea god rigged this place
48:31with a force field.
48:32Our only play
48:33is to guilt-track Jennifer
48:34into opening the damn door.
48:36Jennifer, I know you're listening!
48:38Are you brain dead?
48:41We put a roof over your head
48:43when you had nothing!
48:45Now we're homeless!
48:47You owe us!
48:55Cut the crap!
48:56You made my life
48:57a living hell back then!
48:58Don't act like you did me a favor!
49:01Jennifer,
49:02I'm your own flesh and blood!
49:04Are you just gonna watch me
49:06get hunted down every day?
49:08Your husband is the freaking sea god!
49:11A few table graphs
49:12could save our family!
49:14Yeah, Jennifer!
49:16Just bail us out this once!
49:18Consider it rent for housing you!
49:21We swear we'll never bother you again!
49:25Get a grip, Jennifer.
49:27Stop giving them handouts.
49:29But,
49:31if a little cash
49:32gets rid of these leeches for good,
49:33maybe it's worth it.
49:39You better keep your word.
49:41Take the money
49:42and don't ever show
49:43your faces around here again.
49:49Are you really that dense, Jennifer?
49:52I've literally never played
49:53it straight with you.
50:05Jennifer!
50:06Those goddamn merchants
50:08are psychos!
50:09They robbed us blind,
50:10took your gold,
50:11and now they want us dead!
50:13Please!
50:14Open the damn door!
50:15Jennifer,
50:16they only went psycho
50:17because you're the sea god's wife.
50:19This is 100% on you!
50:21You can't leave us out here
50:22to get butchered!
50:27I'm dead serious, Jennifer.
50:29The merchant and his goons
50:30are right on our ass!
50:32If you don't let us in,
50:33you're signing our death warrants!
50:35Jennifer,
50:35are you really going to watch
50:36your father get slaughtered?
50:37Make your mother a widow?
50:38If word gets out
50:39she raised a heartless monster,
50:41society will destroy her!
51:04How'd you score a pad like this anyway?
51:07Get off your ass
51:08and hand this house over to us!
51:09We gave you a place to crash,
51:11now you owe us a house!
51:13Do I seriously have to cry for Poseidon
51:15to bail me out again?
51:17No, I can't keep dragging him
51:19into my messes.
51:28Unreal!
51:28Look at this mother-lod!
51:30Father could hustle his whole life
51:32and never see this kind of cash!
51:34Trash like Jennifer
51:35doesn't deserve this!
51:37We do!
51:42Check out this palace.
51:44The bling is nice,
51:45but the real estate
51:45is the real jackpot.
51:46We gotta get our names
51:47on that deed.
51:48You brain-dead idiots!
51:49Did you forget
51:50Hades' orders?
51:51Move your asses!
51:53Chuck that bitch
51:53Jennifer
51:54out onto the street!
51:57Right!
51:58Lord Hades promised us
51:59a mountain of cash
52:00if we pull this off!
52:01What the heck
52:02do you think you're doing?
52:03When Dad finds out
52:04he's gonna wipe the floor with you!
52:06Yeah!
52:07You stupid jerks!
52:09If you touch Mom,
52:10Dad is gonna destroy you!
52:13Give me a break!
52:14How's the sea god
52:15gonna react
52:16when he finds out
52:17his precious wife
52:17banged his own brother?
52:19He'll either boot her
52:20or drown her ass!
52:25No!
52:25Father,
52:26why are you doing this to me?
52:28Ah!
52:45Not bad at all.
52:46Like we agree.
52:47I'm gonna reward you freaks
52:48very handsome.
52:51You're the best Lord Hades!
52:54Thank you!
52:56Get your hands off her!
53:05Get your hands off her!
53:21I gave you your chance, Hades.
53:28Jennifer.
53:29You were in real danger.
53:31Why didn't you call me?
53:34Honey, I'm so sorry.
53:36I just didn't want to dump
53:37another mess on your plate.
53:38I'm just a useless mortal.
53:40I can't keep dragging you down.
53:43Look at me, babe.
53:44We're married.
53:46Nothing in this universe matters more than you.
53:49I already missed nine years.
53:55Come hell or high water,
53:56you're never facing anything alone again.
54:02I get it, honey.
54:03I promise.
54:12And as for these psychos,
54:15they've crossed the line too many times.
54:18Even if you want to give them a pass,
54:20I'm gonna slaughter every last one of them.
54:29Almighty Sea God, please.
54:31You've got it all wrong.
54:32We only broke in
54:33because we caught Jennifer,
54:35that absolute slut,
54:36hooking up with another guy.
54:38We were protecting your honor.
54:41Exactly.
54:41If we hadn't showed up,
54:43she'd be all over some other dude.
54:45Honestly, you should be thanking us.
54:47You're all sick in the head.
54:49I'm gonna wipe you off the face of the earth.
55:31Poseidon, you gullible idiot.
55:33I pushed your buttons
55:35and you practically hand-delivered
55:36your own divine weapon to me.
55:38Did you skip Godhub 101?
55:40If a bonded weapon gets corrupted by a god on my level,
55:43the backlash tears the owner apart.
55:49Look, brother.
55:50I don't want to end you.
55:52Just hand over your sweet little wife
55:55and I'll let you walk.
56:00Come on, Jennifer.
56:01Doesn't it tear you apart
56:03watching him squirm like a bug?
56:06Poseidon, please.
56:08Get up.
56:09Jennifer, get over here.
56:10Give yourself to me
56:11and I'll pull the plug on his torture.
56:15Don't listen to him, Jennifer.
56:18Get over here, Jennifer.
56:20Or I swear,
56:22I'm gonna erase Poseidon
56:23from existence right now.
56:26Don't.
56:28Jennifer, listen to me.
56:30If you don't want to watch
56:31his brain melt into pudding,
56:33get over here.
56:34Right now.
56:35Please,
56:36just stop hurting Poseidon.
56:42I'll do it.
56:44I agree to whatever you want.
56:47Poseidon,
56:48please take good care of our kids
56:50and my mother.
57:08You lay a finger on my woman, Hades,
57:11and I will show you
57:12exactly what a blood debt
57:14looks like.
57:15Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
57:15oh, oh, oh, oh.
57:15Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
57:17oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
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