- 21 hours ago
RUРАUL'S DRАG RАСЕ S12E11
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:11We're both just given the double save by Mama Rue.
00:15A genie only gets three wishes, and I've used up two.
00:17So this third one, we gotta make it count.
00:21So bitch, how y'all feeling about this lip sync?
00:23I mean, when I thought I was going home and Rue saved me,
00:26I felt my entire heart plummet into the bottom of my feet.
00:33I thought last week I was feeling things, this week I'm feeling more things.
00:36This is like RuPaul's therapy race. I don't know what's happening to me.
00:39Jaggi's feeling positive, almost like she had a epiphany last night,
00:42like the smoke cleared out of her head.
00:44You said epiphany.
00:46Is it not epiphany?
00:48Epiphany.
00:49Epiphany?
00:50It starts with an E, not an H.
00:53I've been saying it wrong this whole time.
00:55Epiphany.
00:55Bitch, I learn something to do every day, I guess.
00:58All right.
00:59That's three wins for Miss Jada?
01:00Yeah.
01:00Two back-to-back?
01:01Like, now I've had a win for a dancing, musical kind of challenge.
01:06I've had a win for an improv challenge.
01:08Now I've had a win for a looks challenge.
01:09She's well-rounded.
01:10So I'm like, I'm feeling like,
01:11bitch, you're showing what you came to do, and the judges are loving it.
01:15Jada is really starting to inch her way towards a secured spot in that top four.
01:19I have definitely gotten a wake-up call.
01:21I don't know what's been going on with me, but I'm going to snap the fuck out of it.
01:25Honestly, right now, I'm like a little shook that we're just right back to six now.
01:29I mean, I know we're like, obviously, I'm so happy that you're still here,
01:32and I was very sad to, you know, have expected you to go.
01:36But as soon as she said you were safe, there was a moment in me where I was like,
01:40really?
01:42Only because I'm like, okay, now we have to start over again.
01:45Oh, I see how it is.
01:49I thought y'all were going to be happy that I was still here, but clearly not.
01:52Look, when you send your friend off at the airport, that doesn't mean you love them any less.
01:57The more girls who leave and go home, the closer I get to winning my crown.
02:02But if I have to whoop on these girls again one more time, then that's what I'm going to have
02:05to do.
02:08We love you, though.
02:11The winner of RuPaul's Drag Race receives a one-year supply of Anastasia Beverly Hills Cosmetics
02:16and a cash prize of $100,000 with extra special guest judge, Whoopi Goldberg.
02:35It's a new day in the workroom, and she's starting to feel like a cat with nine lives.
02:39You guys aren't feeling that fire.
02:41You can call me Heidi Ho, Heidi Doody, Heidi Hutton, Heidi Heidi Heidi, Heidi Almighty.
02:47And now I'm Heidi Afro-Dy.
02:50Hello, hello, hello.
02:52Oh, hi.
02:54Ladies, for today's mini-challenge, we're going to have ourselves a good old-fashioned bitch-fest.
03:00And we're going to do it with puppets.
03:02Why?
03:04Because everybody loves puppets.
03:07God, I missed this challenge.
03:10Here's how it works.
03:11First, you reach deep inside that hole and pick out a puppet that represents one of your competitors.
03:18Second, you drag it up.
03:19Third, you and your puppet have a bitch-fest.
03:23First up, crystal method.
03:25Okay.
03:26No one's been in that hole for a long time, so please be gentle.
03:31Jada!
03:32Jag.
03:33Up next, Jackie Cox.
03:36I got Sherry Pie.
03:39Sherry Pie.
03:40It's Heidi.
03:42We're in those same pants.
03:44Oh, God.
03:44Heidi Aphrodite.
03:46I got crystal method.
03:48Oh, my God.
03:50Jada Essence Hall.
03:52It's Gigi.
03:53Gigi Goode, go on over.
03:55Dig deep.
03:57Oh, surprise, surprise.
03:59It's Jackie Cox.
04:01Ladies, you've got 20 minutes to drag up your puppets, and you can use materials from the FNS fabric wall.
04:09Go.
04:10Woo-hoo.
04:12Bitch, I just want to make sure I get the fashions right.
04:15You better.
04:16All right, ladies, time is up.
04:18First up, crystal method and her puppet, Jada Essence Hall.
04:23Let the bitch-fest begin.
04:25Hey, Jada.
04:26I'm kind of confused.
04:27What is it the essence of?
04:29Girl, I'm confused, too.
04:31I don't even know what's going on.
04:32I'm just trying to be Jada me.
04:33I'm trying to be myself all the time.
04:36You know, I've gotten in trouble on the runway for wearing the same pair of boots a few times,
04:39but how come you haven't been spotted for those earrings?
04:41They're the same every time.
04:43That's a low blow, and it's not a fact.
04:45I've only wore the earrings twice.
04:48Shady boots.
04:50Um, look over there.
04:56Well, Gigi, that's a lovely dress you're wearing.
04:58I think you look amazing today.
05:00My mother and I have a very close relationship.
05:02I love her so much.
05:03We conceptualize this garment.
05:06I love fashion.
05:07I love shoes.
05:08I'm amazing.
05:09Well, you sound a lot like Maria the Robot.
05:12I am Maria the Robot.
05:15Hi, Heidi.
05:16How you doing?
05:17Hi, Sherry.
05:18Whatever my...
05:19Oh!
05:21Oh, my God.
05:23Does that puppet look soft and supple?
05:25The level of disrespect.
05:27Sherry, correct me if I'm wrong.
05:28Is this the first time you're not dressing up as an old lady?
05:31Well, yes.
05:32I'm not old.
05:33I'm from New York.
05:34Sherry, I'm from New York, too.
05:35Really?
05:36I've never seen you before in my life.
05:37Sherry?
05:38It seems you're on the branding.
05:40Yes, my name is Sherry Pye.
05:41That's why I'm holding a pie.
05:42Force-feeding America!
05:46Sherry, what did I tell you about chewing the scenery?
05:49Sherry.
05:50What's your name again?
05:54Say hello, Jackie.
05:57I commend you on your attempt to make your makeup better.
06:00Thank you, thank you.
06:01I've tried really dialing it down on the 5 o'clock shadow, as you can see.
06:05I can see that.
06:07You've really tried to cover that up, haven't you?
06:09Yeah.
06:15So, where do you live right now, Jackie Cox?
06:18Well, I'm a current resident of New York City.
06:20And where are you from?
06:22I'm from Canada.
06:23You might know that from my political debate.
06:26All I want to do is think further and further and further down.
06:30I'm keeping my puppet up high.
06:33Crystal message!
06:35Let's talk about this garment you're wearing.
06:37You know, I just like to go to the local thrift store and just throw it on my body and
06:41hope for the best.
06:42It surely hasn't been working for you.
06:44I think what the judges are looking for from you is to start relying on what's in your head and
06:49not what's on your mullet.
06:51You know what, Heidi?
06:52I think it's time for you to go back in the closet.
06:55This is now the Christmas show.
06:57Hold it!
06:57Hold it!
06:58Hold it!
06:58Hold it!
07:01Ladies, the winner of today's mini-challenge is Jackie Cox.
07:07This is my third mini-challenge win.
07:10Does this add up to a maxi-challenge win?
07:13Ladies, playtime is over, but showtime is just about to begin.
07:18For this week's maxi-challenge, your charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent will be center stage
07:24as you create and perform your own one-woman, or should I say, one-drag queen show.
07:32Hashtag Drag Race.
07:34Now, you can play multiple characters, or just be yourself.
07:38Anything goes.
07:40Now, you'll be performing in front of a live audience.
07:43And Jackie Cox, you won the mini-challenge, so you get to create the show order.
07:48Oh.
07:50Now, later today, you'll be coached by this week's extra special EGOT-winning guest judge,
07:58Whoopi Goldberg.
08:01The Color Purple is one of my favorite of all-time movies.
08:05Whoopi is like some sort of transcendent deity on, like, Earth.
08:10I'm trying to be like a Whoopi.
08:11Now, Whoopi's big break came when she wrote and performed her one-woman show on Broadway.
08:17So, take notes, ladies.
08:19Gentlemen, start your engines.
08:21And may the best woman win.
08:24So, listen.
08:25Since I'm in charge, the only thing I'm going to say is I would like to go first.
08:30Oh.
08:31I just don't want to close the show, I'll tell you that.
08:34I think Sherry does not want to go last because Sherry knows that the end is usually a bad position.
08:39Nobody wants the butt slice of bread, I'll tell you that.
08:42I wouldn't mind going, like, second or third.
08:44I'd love to go third.
08:45I'm with Jada.
08:46I want to go kind of as a vacancy, I think.
08:48I would like to go somewhere in the middle as well.
08:51Girl, not everyone can be in the middle.
08:53So, what are you thinking, boss?
08:55Well, okay.
08:56So, I think I'll go first, then Crystal, and then I think Heidi next.
09:02I would be okay going third.
09:03And then, does anyone feel comfortable closing the show?
09:06Because someone's got to.
09:12Jada, I know you didn't, like, want to be last.
09:16Girl.
09:17I mean, I don't care at this point.
09:19If it's going to be funny, bitch, it's going to be funny.
09:21All right, Jada signed up for it.
09:22Well, all right now.
09:23So, I have Heidi, followed by Gigi, followed by Sherry, and closing out the show, Ms. Essence Hall.
09:29Yeah.
09:31For Jada.
09:34I know she is not liking that spot.
09:36Especially going after Sherry, that's a hard spot to feel.
09:39Speak now, because I don't want people to come back and tell me things are shady later.
09:42I'm okay with my spot.
09:43Yeah, I think this is good.
09:46Okay.
09:47Oop, Jada.
09:48You're a danger girl.
09:51Coming up.
09:52You've got five minutes to make us love you.
09:54Oh.
09:55Oh, sh.
09:56Welcome aboard flight 666 nonstop to hell.
10:00When there isn't a live studio audience here, this is actually a shark-filled moat.
10:07Shit.
10:16It's time for us to meet with our coaches for our one-woman shows, and I get to meet Whoopi
10:22Goldberg.
10:24I am beyond thrilled to meet you.
10:26Oh, thank you.
10:26I'm a huge Star Trek nerd, and I wanted to be Guinan when I grew up.
10:31Yeah.
10:32I do a lot of Star Trek drag.
10:34So, performing for Whoopi Goldberg, I am freaking out.
10:37What are you getting ready to do?
10:39The concept is Drag Race 101, a brief herstory.
10:43Let's get to it.
10:44Just do it.
10:44All right.
10:46Look, this show has been on forever.
10:47Has anyone been watching since the first season?
10:49No.
10:49Some of you, yes.
10:50Some of you, no.
10:51That's okay.
10:52Professor Jackie Cox is here.
10:53You know, this show has been on for 12 seasons.
10:56So much has changed, you know, starting with this Vaseline filter that covered the lens that
11:00first season.
11:01It was like you could barely make out what was happening.
11:03Um, Jackie, this is going to get somewhere soon, right?
11:08Shit.
11:09We'll get there.
11:10I promise.
11:10All right.
11:11Now, see, what you guys don't know is when there isn't a live studio audience here, this
11:15is actually a shark-filled moat.
11:17Whenever any of us wears any amount of green, and we get those eyes from Michelle Visage,
11:21and all of a sudden that shark fin starts bobbing up.
11:22Dun-nuh.
11:24Dun-nuh.
11:26Dun-nuh-nuh.
11:27Don't eat me, shark!
11:30Shit.
11:31Shit.
11:31Shit.
11:32This isn't how I wanted this to go.
11:33I don't know.
11:34There's a disconnect for me somewhere, and it's in the humanity of it.
11:38I feel like I don't know who you are.
11:41Take yourself out of this stand-up idea.
11:44I don't do stand-up because I'm not that funny, but I can tell a mean story.
11:49And I need to know, who are you?
11:51That's what I want.
11:53What do you want me to know about you?
11:54You've got five minutes to make us love you.
11:59I think I try so hard to be, like, who I think I have to be all the time.
12:04Yeah, and you don't.
12:05And I, yeah, and I'm thinking of everything you're saying.
12:08I'm thinking of all the things that my mom said to me growing up,
12:10which were the opposite things of what my dad said to me growing up.
12:13Yeah.
12:13And like how Jackie Cox is like somewhere in the middle of those things.
12:16Yes!
12:17The truth is, when people are super vulnerable, you fall in love with them.
12:21That's the hard part, is being willing to be honest.
12:24I now need to synthesize 34 years of my life into a three-to-five-minute story and make it
12:30happen.
12:31I'm taking you to a cookout with my family and how they all acting nonsense and cutting up and misbehaving.
12:37Oh, are you going to behave like some of them?
12:39I will be, yes.
12:40I'll be trying to act like my grandmother, my cousin Slick, little boo-boo.
12:44And I have, who is the last person?
12:46Oh, Uncle Rob.
12:47He's the drunk of the family.
12:49Can we see a little bit of him?
12:50Hey, party in the hair.
12:53What's to eat?
12:54Oh, shh.
12:57Oh, God.
12:59You know, no drunks move like that.
13:01Right.
13:01You know, when people are standing like that.
13:03Mm-hmm.
13:05You're just trying to stay up.
13:06Okay.
13:06So you're holding out because you think the air is going to keep you from falling over.
13:12You're concentrating on saying, I'm not drunk.
13:17I'm not drunk.
13:20There you go.
13:21Okay.
13:21If you don't want to do a character but you want to allude to it, you just yell, shut up,
13:26boo-boo.
13:28Yeah, that's fantastic advice.
13:30And take your time.
13:31Let us fall in love with these characters.
13:33Don't rush them.
13:33And all the stuff that you want to put in everybody's mouth, now's the time to do it.
13:39I was going to try a character that is a male exotic dancer.
13:46Oh.
13:48Okay.
13:48Are you going to do it in drag?
13:50Yes.
13:50Something I've been struggling with this whole time is that sometimes I don't go all the way
13:55in and I really want to make sure that I make people laugh, which that's what I really like
13:59to do, so.
14:00So make it fun for you.
14:02And don't worry about if it's funny to me, because what's funny to me may be funny to
14:06the person over there, but not that one.
14:08Yeah.
14:09Can you show us one of the strip moves?
14:11Um, I'm trying to just, like, really try and, uh, come up with the movements.
14:15I don't really...
14:15How do you think El DeBarge would move?
14:19Um, probably...
14:25It's funny.
14:26Like that?
14:27See, you do have it.
14:29Yeah.
14:29And you talk about going...
14:30You went there.
14:31Do you know how to do the swim?
14:33Uh-huh.
14:34Do you know how to do the jerk?
14:39Please do that.
14:40Please do that.
14:42So I thought of making a psychic goldfish.
14:45Psychic goldfish?
14:46Yes.
14:47I'm going to be dressed all in black, except for here.
14:51Oh, you're the goldfish?
14:53Yes.
14:53Oh.
14:54When I turn, I'm like...
14:57Do you have jokes?
14:58Yes.
15:00I imagine being like, uh, my name is Madam Bubbles.
15:03I used to be a large, but thanks to Bait Watchers, I've gotten that down to a medium.
15:07Uh-huh.
15:08No?
15:09It's high concept, and we, the audience, we just want to laugh.
15:12You could be this other character who channels the psychic vibrations of the fish, and that
15:18frees you up from having to do the gills, you know what I mean?
15:21What?
15:21It's like I'm not funny at all.
15:24I'm giving you a full-on skit with a character.
15:28Really?
15:28Telling you a story, yes.
15:29Well, who is this character?
15:30She's a flight attendant on the plane to hell.
15:32Wow.
15:33Yes.
15:34Can we see a little bit of it?
15:35Yes.
15:36Hi, and welcome aboard Brimstone Airways Flight 666 nonstop to hell.
15:42That's right.
15:43Based on your track record on Earth, you've bought yourself a one-way ticket to your impending
15:46doom.
15:47Okay.
15:48Not quite?
15:50It seems a little memorized and rote.
15:53Can you put the paper down?
15:55Sure.
15:56Oh, God.
15:56Okay.
15:57Was not prepared for this.
15:58Should have been, but I wasn't.
15:59Mm-hmm.
16:01All right.
16:02Now, for today's flight, let me try that again.
16:07I just, I really get caught up in my head when I have to think on my feet.
16:10So, I really wanted to write an entire script.
16:14You don't have enough time.
16:16Okay.
16:17So, improv.
16:18Don't think about it.
16:19Say whatever comes out of your mouth.
16:25I had a different impression of what this challenge was going to be, and I was so confident about
16:33what I came up with, and I just feel very thrown off.
16:39I'm sorry.
16:39Don't think it.
16:39I'm not, I don't feel like I'm one to get in my head.
16:41Don't think it.
16:42Just do it.
16:44Rue and Whoopi keep just telling me, like, you know, just like, think on your feet.
16:49You can do this.
16:50It's just improv.
16:51And, like, my mind just doesn't work that way.
16:53You've already said to yourself you can't.
16:55I know.
16:56And you can.
16:57You're going to be fine.
16:58Bye.
16:59I just don't know what I'm going to do.
17:03Okay.
17:04So, the first time that my father ever met my boyfriend was my 20th birthday.
17:09I was super excited.
17:10He's coming over, and my father is giving him a little eye from his eye, and I'm like,
17:13oh, my God.
17:14I don't know what's going to go down, but.
17:16Can I stop you?
17:17You have a tendency to talk really fast.
17:19Yeah.
17:20Give us an opportunity to fall in love and to see the character that you're doing.
17:24Like I said, like, most of everything.
17:26Yeah.
17:26I'm sorry.
17:27I just, like, I always talk really excited.
17:30That's just.
17:31Yeah.
17:32Like, within my DNA.
17:32So, I'm trying to work on, like, making sure that I'm, like, pacing myself.
17:36Think of it as a flower.
17:37It starts to open, and then there's another part, and then another part, and another part.
17:43Yeah.
17:44And it's all of that information in this small period.
17:48Yeah.
17:48That's what this is.
17:49I know.
17:49I see what you're saying.
17:50Cool.
17:50Do you have any more questions for Whoopi?
17:53Well, you know, I don't even have questions.
17:54It's like, ugh.
17:57I don't want to get emotional, but when Rue told us that you would be here, it was, like,
18:01miraculous because preparing to come here, I constantly would listen to the Color Purple
18:07soundtrack.
18:07And this competition is almost exactly like the journey of Celie in the movie.
18:13You go through all these really, really hard times.
18:15But on the other side of it, there's so much joy.
18:18So, it's like a sign to me that you would be here today, and I'm like, oh, my God.
18:23Come here.
18:23Come here.
18:23God damn it.
18:24Come here.
18:25Oh, my God.
18:26Hi.
18:28For Whoopi to, like, make that kind of connection with me is just, like, everything right now.
18:31Thank you so much for that.
18:33And I just feel like that's just, like, a huge sign that maybe something good gonna happen,
18:38or maybe that's a sign of going home.
18:39I don't know.
18:40Ah-ha.
18:42Coming up.
18:43Really, it's just me basically telling a story about my family.
18:46She's about to go run into one of her little stories about Lil' Ram Sua.
18:52Is this bitch serious?
19:00Ooh, it's a time to make a magic.
19:02Today, we're gonna be performing our one-woman shows in front of Rue, Whoopi, and the judges.
19:06I think the other girls don't see me as a full threat because I'm just weird and kooky.
19:11But I have worked my way from the bottom to a consistent top in this competition.
19:17And I just really want to win a challenge before the top four is picked.
19:22Is everybody ready and excited?
19:24I don't know.
19:24I'm completely changing my concepts from yesterday.
19:26Oh, shit.
19:27Um, and we'll see if it works.
19:32And it's probably the most personal thing I've done so far in this competition.
19:38I'm gonna be doing some impressions of my parents, who are total characters in their own right.
19:44I don't know if my mom is going to love this impersonation of her.
19:48She doesn't know I do drag.
19:51My mom has said things to me in the past that have really hurt me in profound ways that I
19:58think I'm still not fully healed from.
20:00A big part of that has to do with her not really accepting that I'm gay.
20:04I still care about what she thinks, even though I know that I'll never get 100% of the approval
20:12that I've wanted my whole life from her.
20:14So, I've really changed the whole thing, and it's gonna be something else.
20:21But I'm excited.
20:22The fact that, you know, like, we're all doing such different concepts is like, okay, well, who's gonna be stronger
20:28than the other and what makes it stronger than the other?
20:31I feel like I have so much more work to do than anybody else in this entire group.
20:34I don't know what to do with the feedback that I got.
20:37I am terrified.
20:38I don't want to look like an idiot.
20:40I don't want that ruck-ruck-ruck-ruck moment on stage.
20:44It's not until you hear somebody whose job is literally to guide you through your own self say
20:51You know this is not feel very you. I think what I do is I convince myself that the self
20:56-doubt is not there and
20:58It obviously is internally. I compare myself to others all the time. I'm always very hard on myself
21:03That's why I always feel like outwardly. I need to look as pristine as possible
21:07It's just something to deal with later that never gets dealt with and I think now is the time to
21:12attack it head-on
21:12Because we only get one chance
21:15And I don't want to fuck it up. I'm actually really excited going into this challenge
21:18Really, it's just me basically telling a story about my family
21:22The hardest part of this challenge is knowing that I'm gonna be disowned by my family at the end of
21:26this
21:29Fun fact though the day I started my very first job
21:31She was about to go run into one of her little stories about Lil Ram Seuler
21:34Oh, bitch. The Rose Nylund of the season. Am I Rose? Who is Rose Nylund?
21:39Oh
21:39Shada, Essence, Hall
21:42What I did?
21:46Is this bitch serious?
21:47The Golden Girls?
21:49Okay, bitch. Well, look
21:51I'm thinking that's some bitch from New York City they know. I don't know who that is
21:55My bad
21:56Shada
21:57Look over there
22:17And what?
22:19Welcome to the main stage of RuPaul's Drag Race Lookit you, Ru? What a difference a day makes.
22:24Yes, a little lip gloss and mascara.
22:28This week, we challenged our girls to create and star
22:31in their very own one drag queen shows.
22:34And on the runway, category is the color purple.
22:40Gentlemen, start your engines, and may the best woman win.
22:44Coming up.
22:45Oh, Lord, have a...
22:48I do not approve of these espy scares.
22:52How we feel tonight, ladies?
22:54Oh, Lord, have a...
23:06Michelle, is that Dahlia?
23:08Yes.
23:09She's stalking us.
23:11The Big Pink Furry Box Theater presents
23:14Jackie Cox, Between Two Parents.
23:18Hello, hello!
23:23Now, it may be hard to believe from what you see in front of you,
23:27but both of my parents are scientists.
23:30My father is a mild-mannered Canadian with a very dry sense of humor.
23:35My mother is from Iran.
23:36And like many immigrant parents, had a very clear list of things
23:40that she wanted me to accomplish to fulfill her dreams.
23:43Top of which is become a doctor.
23:46And nowhere on this list was drag queen.
23:50Bouncing between these two households, my parents clearly did not stay married,
23:54was something that challenged me in many different ways.
23:58Take my mother, for instance.
23:59I'm maybe 12 years old, watching the TV.
24:05What is this?
24:08I do not approve of these espy scares.
24:12This is too sexy, Maxie.
24:14Go to your room and go study your book on male anatomy.
24:18Well, you don't have to tell me twice.
24:24So, I hear you are interested in performing and music and dancing.
24:28I believe in you.
24:29Okay, first things first, we're going to start with ballet and then jazz and then tap
24:32and then all of the dancing, starting from flamenco to salsa.
24:35Dad, this is a lot.
24:36I don't know if that's what I want to do.
24:39But a few years later, I started to get a little bit of an idea.
24:42Me and a few friends sneak out and we drive down to Chicago Gay Pride.
24:46And that's when I see them for the first time.
24:49They look eight feet tall, giant high heels, giant hair.
24:54These aren't just women.
24:55These are drag queens.
24:56And I am mesmerized.
24:58I decide to take home a little souvenir.
25:01A beautiful white feather boa with sparkly parts in it, too.
25:05I get home, sneak that boa, hide it up in the top-most corner of my closet.
25:15Voties deez.
25:18If my mom can get past the fact that I'm a drag queen on national television,
25:23hopefully she'll get over this impression of hers.
25:26And what have I figured out?
25:27Having someone in your corner who is always cheering you on and believes in you, that's love.
25:33And I learned that having someone who always wants to make sure that nothing bad will ever happen to you,
25:38that's real love.
25:40And I also learned to hide that feather boa a little better.
25:47Thank you, guys.
25:51I'm a little worried having to follow this act because she definitely put a lot of herself and her heart
25:55in it.
25:55And I'm not playing myself at all.
26:00Next, Crystal Method in Phenomenal Phil, Exotic Dance Instructor.
26:07Thank you, thank you.
26:10How are we doing tonight, ladies?
26:14All right, well, I'm Phenomenal Phil, Exotic Dance Instructor to the Stars.
26:20I worked with Channing Tatum.
26:22I taught him how to do the worm.
26:26I've also taught Dwayne The Rock Johnson how to do the sprinkler.
26:32I even taught Betty White how to do the jerk.
26:39Are y'all ready to start feeling yourself?
26:44I brought you moves for my dance training DVD, Fill Me Up.
26:51This first move is the litter box.
26:54But get yourself in the mind of a pussycat.
26:59And then you've got to get that soiled sand, like, out of here.
27:03Get it out.
27:06And then we're going to dump it, okay?
27:09Get it out.
27:11Fill it out.
27:12We're not done yet.
27:14We probably got some on our legs.
27:20All right, Crystal.
27:22She's killing it out here.
27:24You might have to change your name to Phenomenal Phil after this performance.
27:28This is my big moneymaker.
27:29It's the Brazilian Banana Inspector.
27:33Start up and just find the banana in the tree.
27:37I think they grow on trees.
27:40Pull it down.
27:41And then you've got to make sure you work the nips on the way down.
27:44So, yeah, give it a little bit of that.
27:48And then we work it down to the hips.
27:54All right, everybody.
27:55I think that's about all the time I have for today.
27:58I'll be in the back selling my DVD, but only for about 20 minutes
28:01because I am performing at a bar mitzvah later.
28:10Up next, Heidi Aphrodite in Cookout with Your Cheeks Out.
28:17Oh, y'all look so good.
28:19Y'all look so good.
28:20I really just want to give y'all some of my hometown living.
28:22The first member of my family I want you to meet is my grandmother.
28:25She's the one who raised me, and she really hates everyone.
28:30Let me introduce you to grandmother.
28:34About time all y'all got here in my house.
28:37Now y'all better stop opening up my door and stuff.
28:40I don't pay to air conditioning the outside.
28:44Oh, Lord, have mercy!
28:47Here comes Sharon with that nasty-ass potato salad.
28:50Oh, Lord!
28:53Hello, hello, everyone.
28:55Oh, how are you all doing?
28:56I brought the potato salad.
28:58Don't worry, everyone, guys.
28:59I'm going to put it right here in the middle.
29:01Now, Sharon, I done told you about that potato salad.
29:05You don't season it.
29:07You don't put the right potatoes in.
29:09You don't even put mustard in it.
29:12How dare you talk about my potato salad?
29:16And it's always Uncle Rob, the drunk.
29:20Why y'all...
29:24Why y'all fight?
29:28Rob, I done told you to take your drunk ass and sit down somewhere.
29:31Oh, it's something about business.
29:34The party don't start till Cousin Flick walks in.
29:38Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.
29:39What's up, Cousin?
29:40What's up, Cousin?
29:41Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.
29:42Yo, what's here to eat?
29:43Aunt Sharon decides, oh, you know, it's my potato salad here.
29:48You know, it's so good.
29:49No, no, no, Sharon.
29:50No, no, no.
29:51You know, last time I had your potato salad, I had to blow that bathroom up.
29:57Dumbass.
30:07Heidi is not giving what I expected from Heidi.
30:11Yo, yo, yo, yo, I gotta go.
30:12Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba.
30:13Oh, oh, oh.
30:14Baby, the ship is...
30:15It's not sinking, but it's a few holes in it.
30:19Have a good night, everybody.
30:20I got it.
30:24Coming up.
30:25Okay.
30:26Let's see where I'm at now.
30:28All right, so.
30:30I'm seeing Gigi trying to remember her outline and keep going back to it.
30:35Okay, all right.
30:41The Furry Box Theater presents Gigi Goode in Welcome Aboard Brimstone Airways.
30:53Good morning, sinners.
30:56Welcome Aboard Brimstone Airways Flight 666 nonstop to hell.
31:02Right, you all did something in your lives to piss off the big guy upstairs.
31:07I'm going to let you know why a couple of you are here, all right?
31:09Let's see.
31:10You.
31:10You're in the front row in this ripped up denim jacket.
31:12What's your name?
31:13Gary.
31:14Gary.
31:14Nice to meet you, Gary.
31:16Gary.
31:17Your credit score sucks, Gary.
31:20You.
31:21What's your name?
31:22Morgan.
31:22I'm going to call you Karen from now on.
31:24Is that okay?
31:25I'm going to tell you why you're on your way to hell, Karen.
31:27It's because you're a goddamn hypocrite.
31:30All right?
31:31I see you mixing textiles.
31:34He's paying attention.
31:38Give me one second.
31:39I'm going to gather my extremely important tools.
31:44All right.
31:45If you'll kindly familiarize yourself with the lack of exits on this aircraft,
31:49you'll look to my left and right.
31:51That's right.
31:51No exits here.
31:53Okay?
31:54Four.
31:55Your in-flight snacks.
31:56We have just one option.
31:58It's peanuts.
32:01Un-salted peanuts.
32:04Welcome to hell, bitch.
32:07Okay.
32:08Let's see where I'm at now.
32:10All right.
32:10So.
32:12I love Gigi's concept, but I'm seeing Gigi kind of trying to remember her outline and
32:19keep going back to it when she's on a roll on different jokes.
32:23Okay.
32:24All right.
32:25So.
32:25When we do land, something will magically open and you'll get off and immediately engulfed
32:29in flames.
32:30So, as stated before, that tiny piece of fabric with metal attached to it is not going to protect
32:34you from shit, Karen.
32:36Or you, Gary.
32:38I see you're wearing distressed denim.
32:39It's 2020.
32:41Keep that in mind.
32:43All right.
32:43I've just received word from the captain that we are beginning our initial descent.
32:47On behalf of Brimstone Airways, I want to thank you for choosing us as your means of transportation
32:52today.
32:53And please, enjoy your stay in Detroit.
32:59Burn it out.
33:01Go fuck yourself, Gary.
33:03Bye-bye.
33:05Next up, Bubbles and Sherry.
33:11Hello, everybody.
33:12My name is Sherry Pie.
33:15That's pie, just like the food group.
33:17And I'm Sherry with an S. Not Cherry with a C, because Sherry with an S goes sh-not sh.
33:24Ladies and gentlemen, boys and no, there are no children here.
33:27Broccoli, ha.
33:28How are you?
33:29I'm here to talk to you about magic.
33:31Magic comes in many different forms.
33:33Now, here, I just had a horrible stroke and none of you did anything about it.
33:38I'm just scatterbrained.
33:39I'm sorry.
33:40I was drinking before the show.
33:43Sherry's one-woman show is hilarious.
33:46But, you know, it's supposed to be Madam Sherry and the fish, Bubbles.
33:50Where is the fish?
33:51Something that a lot of people don't know about me is that I'm psychic.
33:54With Sherry and Bubbles, you will believe in magic.
33:59Oh, my God, you have a cross.
34:01You really believe in magic.
34:04We still going?
34:06All right, everybody, put your hands together for my co-hostess, the one, the only, Bubbles!
34:14I'm going to need to let you in on a little secret.
34:17Don't listen, Bubbles.
34:20Thank you for laughing.
34:22This is what's called absurd.
34:25What is happening?
34:26I thought we only had five minutes.
34:31Hello.
34:33I'm Madam Bubbles.
34:36I am psychic.
34:39Miss Sherry, bitch.
34:41Come on now, honey.
34:44Hey, thank you all for something.
34:54Bitch, you do know that I'm next, right?
34:57You're not closing the show.
34:59It's really been a pleasure in naming you.
35:09Yes, finally.
35:11She was doing a lot.
35:12I don't think it was purposeful, but...
35:18Up next, Jada Essence Hall in The P in Pageant.
35:26Hey, broke bitches.
35:27My name is Jada Essence Hall, and for those of you who do not know me, I am a drag
35:31queen
35:32and a badass bitch, okay?
35:34And for those of you who do know me, I am sorry.
35:39I'm going to take you all on a tour of one of the worst experiences that has ever happened
35:42to me in my life.
35:43Now, one time I was hired to judge and perform at a pageant.
35:48The girls are beautiful.
35:49They're walking around in these beautiful gowns, and I get a little shake in my right
35:52leg.
35:54Child.
35:55So I look over for a familiar face.
35:57Hey, Rue.
35:58Except Rue happens to be my boyfriend.
35:59He comes on over.
36:02I'm in a situation.
36:03I'm going to need a little bit of help, okay?
36:05The category is over.
36:07I push the chair back.
36:08I start to run.
36:10Baby, I have to piss.
36:11Tap him on the shoulder.
36:12Run into the bathroom.
36:19Oh, y'all are not feeling it.
36:21That's all right.
36:23That's all right.
36:24We're going on a journey.
36:24Okay.
36:25I'm like, okay, baby.
36:27Help me out here.
36:28I'm pulling up my dress.
36:29He's all on the floor.
36:31He's fumbling around.
36:32I'm like, baby, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
36:35And then I stop.
36:37Uh-oh.
36:39Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh.
36:48Looking up at me, covered in urine.
36:53I head back to the judge's table.
36:55The head judge says, please, please, please, can we get some air freshener over here?
36:59Oh, no.
37:03But then he looks over and says, these other judges to the left, they have hot dogs with onions on
37:08them.
37:15Jada, was that the joke?
37:17Look over there.
37:19To me, this was one of the most terrifying things that ever happened in my life.
37:22And sadly, I just played that in front of y'all, and y'all didn't even laugh at the shit.
37:25But that's all right.
37:27I hope y'all had a great time.
37:28And that was the night that I put the pee in pageant.
37:35Terrible.
37:37Terrible, terrible.
37:38Bitch, I fucked up.
37:40Coming up, you didn't want to look away.
37:42And that's a good story telling.
37:43You are able to blend comedy with heart.
37:46It makes you selfish.
37:47I love you, you're a superstar.
37:56Category is the color purple.
37:59First up, Jackie Cox.
38:01Her skirt's so short, her lips are showing.
38:05The first thing I think of when I hear the word purple is that song.
38:09The one-eyed, one-horned, flying purple pupil eater.
38:11I'm having a lot of fun with it.
38:13Why is there a stamp on the tongue?
38:15It's Molly.
38:16Oh.
38:18Molly, you in danger, girl.
38:21You know I wasn't going to say it.
38:24Crystal method.
38:25How now, purple cow?
38:28She's making me horny.
38:30Oh.
38:30My inspiration for this look is Nick Cave, an artist who makes sound suits.
38:35These beautiful outfits that move around, all cool.
38:38This is just really bizarre and totally crystal method.
38:41She's on the rag.
38:43Oh, yeah.
38:44I had to fight that one.
38:47I did.
38:49Heidi Aphrodite.
38:50She's eggplant emoting.
38:53Take a look at that potato salad.
38:56I'm giving you purple lace the house down.
38:59You can see all these curves, these swerves.
39:01You can see all that soft and supple skin.
39:03This is my real body, America.
39:05I don't know why y'all gagging.
39:06I give it to you every time.
39:08Well, not every time.
39:11Watch out for slick.
39:15GG good.
39:18Jinkies, we've got a mystery on our hands.
39:22My look is loosely inspired by one of my favorite childhood cartoons.
39:27I've got my necktie, my cute little green buttons.
39:30I am skipping down that runway.
39:32And, girl, I'm giving the judges their childhood fantasy they've been looking for.
39:36And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for you meddling kids.
39:42Cherry pie.
39:43The future of fashion is feral.
39:46Meow.
39:47Meow.
39:48I am full on Cheshire Cat fantasy.
39:52It looks like a big furry tail wrapped around me.
39:55I just feel like an Alice in Wonderland fantasy.
39:57Do the kitty litter dance.
40:03Dump it.
40:10Jada Essenthal.
40:11She's on CP time.
40:13Color purple time.
40:16Now, where's Oprah?
40:18I feel my fantasy, because I have this beautiful hat, is blocking my light, because I don't want
40:24everybody to see all of this space.
40:26The body and this garment are doing all the work.
40:29I love having money.
40:30I love feeling like money.
40:31And this look just drips money.
40:33She puts the P in purple.
40:39Come on, callback.
40:44Coming up.
40:45I let you wear my dress tonight.
40:48You took it into a whole different realm, and I think that's phenomenal.
40:52But I think it's a skosh craft store.
40:59Welcome, ladies.
41:00It's time for the judges' critiques.
41:04Starting with Jackie Cox.
41:06Tonight on the runway, you are a one-eyed, one-horned, flying purple molly eater.
41:10It's very not Jackie.
41:12And I like that you took a risk.
41:14It's a skosh craft store.
41:15But, you know, when it's campy like this, I can forgive craft for camp.
41:19Let's talk about your one drag queen show.
41:21What you were able to do today was blend comedy with heart.
41:25This was your room to command, and you didn't want to look away.
41:29And that's a good storytelling.
41:31You know, I said to you, once you show that vulnerability, it allows us to fall in love with you.
41:35And we fell in love with you.
41:39Thank you so much, RuPaul.
41:40Up next, Crystal Method.
41:43Bye.
41:43Let's talk about Phenomenal Phil Exotic Dance Instructor.
41:48It was just all so stupid.
41:53Michelle hit the nail on the head.
41:55New level of stupid.
41:58Which is, by the way, how you win this show.
42:00We were all with you.
42:01We were all kind of learning these dance moves.
42:03The cat box is my face.
42:06Because I see you have a good time with it.
42:08And tonight on the runway, what I really love is the switch up of the makeup.
42:11You took it into a whole different realm, and I think that's phenomenal.
42:15You have had a pivot in this competition where you've really gone all in on your weird.
42:19I am weird.
42:20And so sometimes I feel like maybe people won't like that.
42:22Buck up.
42:23Doesn't matter.
42:24As long as you're having a good time, we want to go where you're going.
42:28If you have any doubts in your head, any insecurities, dump it.
42:35You got it.
42:37Up next, Heidi Aphrodite.
42:40Michelle, don't you just love that name?
42:41The best one out of the last 20.
42:43Yes.
42:44I actually really loved your concept for your One Drag Queen show.
42:48Slick seemed hot.
42:49He's single.
42:52Trust me, you don't want none of Slick.
42:53Trust me.
42:54Girl, you don't know my taste.
42:56Here's the deal.
42:57I love that you tried to do something really big.
43:01It was just a lot.
43:02You've got to make sure those characters are so differentiated that I know exactly when
43:06you're popping into Grandma, and I know when you're popping into Aunt, and you know when
43:08I'm popping into Slick.
43:11Let's be honest.
43:12We all know Slick's doing the popping.
43:13Okay, let's be honest.
43:15Everybody does start sounding a little bit like the other one, because in your mind,
43:20okay, you know what they look like, but we don't know what they look like.
43:23Right.
43:23We're taking your word for it.
43:24Tonight on the runway, I do want to compliment you again.
43:26Your face is just looking better each day.
43:30I let you wear my dress tonight, and I must say you have to keep it because it's gorgeous.
43:36Thank you so much, Miss Goldberg.
43:38Just Whoopie.
43:39You can't have a name like Whoopie and be called Miss Anything.
43:44Up next, Gigi Goode.
43:45Good morning, sinners.
43:46I didn't know you were the Don Rickles of Drag Race.
43:48Go fuck yourself, Gary.
43:51It was a completely original idea.
43:53I thought you could have done a ton more with it.
43:55You felt like you were nervous to me, Gigi.
43:58I totally understand what you mean.
43:59See?
44:01See?
44:02I know.
44:02If you trust your gut, 97% of the time, it will lead you in the right direction.
44:08I love this look, but I'm not surprised by that.
44:10You've got this gorgeous out here, right?
44:12And a weird little mind in there.
44:15Well, thank you.
44:15So, just like we've been able to see Crystal trust her gut and go all in and push that boundary
44:20line,
44:20I want you to do that, too.
44:22Got it.
44:23Thanks, Karen.
44:24Fuck you.
44:26Up next, Sherry Pie.
44:29Tonight on the runway, you look absolutely stunning.
44:31You can really paint.
44:33I want to do those.
44:34I think I would scare the women at the table just because no one would ever understand why I look
44:40so good and they look like them.
44:43Fishing fortunes with bubbles and Sherry.
44:46The concept was fantastic.
44:48The delivery was fantastic.
44:50If it wasn't an hour long.
44:52I think you clocked in at 17 minutes.
44:55Did you know it was that long?
44:57No.
44:58Yeah.
45:00Oh, my God.
45:02I'm so sorry.
45:04It makes you selfish.
45:06And you're taking time away from the other girls.
45:09So, here's the deal.
45:10The Ross Matthews, who has dinner reservations, was like, come on, let's pick this up.
45:14But it was so funny because you sold it.
45:17Just let go at about five minutes in.
45:20All right, up next, Jada Essence Hall.
45:23Hello.
45:23When we asked for your number one story, we didn't mean your number one story.
45:31I guess it's better than your number two story.
45:33Yes.
45:34The best part was when you made fun of yourself that it wasn't working.
45:38Oh, y'all are not feeling it.
45:39You know, and I felt like really then you got the audience back on your side.
45:42Yeah.
45:42But you had already given up.
45:44Um, I was like, already when I started, I was like, oh, my God, I was kind of a little
45:48bit of fatigue.
45:49So, I'm like, oh, girl, we got to try to go after this.
45:51Because you waited 20 minutes.
45:53Yes.
45:53For real.
45:54Yeah.
45:54I'm sorry.
45:55That's fine.
45:55Did you choose to go last?
45:57No.
45:58So, Jackie assigned you last?
45:59Yes.
46:00I thought you kind of gave up, too.
46:02And I was trying to vibe you going, don't give up.
46:05You're almost there.
46:06Don't give up.
46:07So, next time, you know, if it doesn't work, I can try something else.
46:11Tonight on the runway, I absolutely love this.
46:14It looks like the Paris runway version of what Whoopi wore on Star Trek.
46:19Yeah.
46:19I did wear this outfit, but not nearly as well.
46:22My legs were not nearly as long, because my feet are size 11, and I'm 5'3".
46:28That's my problem in life.
46:30Thank you, Jada.
46:31I just want to say this.
46:32You six are really some of the best we've ever had here.
46:37I just think you're something else.
46:40You know, I wish you would be the six forever and ever.
46:44Oh.
46:45I really do.
46:47All right.
46:47Now, while you untuck backstage, the judges and I will deliberate.
46:53All right.
46:54Now, just between us squirrel friends, what do you think?
46:57Let's start with Jackie Cox.
46:59Tonight, her one drag queen show was brilliant from beginning to end.
47:03What I love most about it is she didn't try to force jokes.
47:05And her heart was center stage.
47:07Now, the outfit, I could see she's trying to do some type of Moschino storyline, but it
47:12was a little cheap.
47:13The hairline was down to her eyebrows.
47:15Nobody saw that?
47:16Do I even know what I'm looking at?
47:17No.
47:17No.
47:17See, this one didn't say shit.
47:19We did.
47:20We got you.
47:21Crystal method.
47:22If I were standing backstage and she was about to come out, I would stop her and say,
47:25hey, dear, let's rethink this.
47:27Right?
47:28It was just one of the most unique things I've ever seen on this stage.
47:31We went wherever she wanted us to go, and we had a good time.
47:34On the runway, it's totally crystal.
47:37And it was fantastic.
47:38I just thought tonight was crystal's night.
47:40Yep.
47:41Heidi Aphrodite.
47:42In the challenge, she was barely keeping her head above water.
47:46But on the runway, she was swimming laps around some of the other girls.
47:49Listen, I want to give her credit for trying to do what she did because she swung big.
47:53But for me, when she started, right away, I thought, she's in danger.
47:57I won't do the pun, Whoopi, I promise.
47:59I think had she taken out maybe two of the characters, we could have had something really
48:04compelling here.
48:05Gigi Good.
48:06Tonight on the runway, we come to expect this from Gigi, and she delivered it tonight flawlessly.
48:11What I loved about Gigi's show is that it was a twisted concept.
48:15The problem was that she didn't commit fully to it.
48:18Let's move on down to Sherry Pie.
48:20It was an epic yarn.
48:24She's one who has to perform often.
48:27She's like, fuck this, I'm talking.
48:29There are rules to follow.
48:31I just thought you were actually a little harsh.
48:33Which part?
48:33Well, when you called her selfish.
48:35It was self-indulgent.
48:36If she was not being self-indulgent, she would have realized there's a five-minute cutoff and there's another girl
48:40waiting to go.
48:41Okay, you two.
48:41You need to get a room.
48:44Jada put the P in pageant.
48:46She put the P all over the stage, too.
48:48Tonight, her one drag queen show was just kind of cringy.
48:51I bet that story was so funny when she called her best friend and told her on the phone.
48:55You know, old girl, I passed myself and told this story.
48:57Yes.
48:58I bet it was hilarious.
48:59Well, because she probably took her time and didn't start with the visual.
49:02But my goodness, does she look great tonight.
49:04That's what perfection looks like.
49:06Silence.
49:07I've made my decision.
49:10Bring back my girls.
49:16Welcome back, ladies.
49:17I've made some decisions.
49:21Jackie Cox.
49:23You're safe.
49:25You may step to the back of the stage.
49:30Gigi Goode.
49:32You're safe.
49:38Crystal Method.
49:41Contragulations, you're the winner of this week's challenge.
49:46Dump it.
49:51And you've won a cash tip of $5,000.
49:55Yes, Crystal.
49:56You may join the other girls.
49:59Finally, I won a challenge.
50:03There could not be a better time.
50:05I feel like I can do anything.
50:10Cherry Pie.
50:12You're safe.
50:14You may join the other girls.
50:18That means Heidi and Jada.
50:20I'm sorry, my dears, but you are both up for elimination.
50:25Two queens stand before me.
50:28Ladies, this is your last chance.
50:31To impress me and save yourself from elimination.
50:36The time has come for you to lip sync for your life.
50:46America, I'm not finna go home, so I'm gonna do whatever it takes on this stage to make sure that
50:50I stay in this competition.
50:52Good luck.
50:53And don't fuck it up.
51:15It's a good way.
51:17I'm not finna go home.
51:19It's a good way.
51:23It's a good way.
51:26I'm not finna go home.
51:28I'm not finna go home.
51:51This may be my fourth time in the bottom, but I didn't come here just to lay down and
51:55up. I'm a slave all day. Fuck, it's $19.99, baby.
52:17Jada is strutting all over that stage. He looks just like Prince. It is amazing.
52:24Heidi is doing her thing. It is going to be a tough call.
52:40I got to catch their breath because I can't catch mine. Ladies, I've made my decision.
52:55Jada Essence Hall. Shantae, you stay.
52:59Thank you so much.
53:00You may join the other girls.
53:11My dear Heidi, no more hiding in closets.
53:16Yes.
53:18Now, sashay away.
53:20Thank you all so much for saying something in me even when I didn't say something in myself.
53:26You are a superstar. I think you're probably the last one to know it. Start looking at property outside of
53:33Ram Seward.
53:33You might want to move to Los Angeles or to Manhattan, but let me tell you something.
53:39Kiddo, you're a star. I'm so excited for the world to see you. They're going to love you.
53:44Just remember, pay your taxes, okay?
53:47No, we will.
53:48Okay, we will.
53:49Okay, we will.
53:50Heidi.
53:54A small town queen with big city aspirations. Watch out, world, because Heidi's coming through. And remember, if I can
54:02do it, so can you.
54:05Yes, Heidi.
54:06Yes, Heidi.
54:12I've exceeded every expectation.
54:14Really showing that the small town queen can be fierce, too.
54:16I just know all of them, so it's going to be ecstatic. Hopefully, I'll get a key to the city.
54:20Fingers crossed.
54:21Thank you so much.
54:23Signing off from talking to my uncle.
54:26Heidi.
54:27Something.
54:34Contragulations, ladies.
54:35And remember, if you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love somebody else?
54:40Can I get an amen up in here?
54:42Amen.
54:42All right, now let the music play.
Comments