00:00Well, as Mrs. Krabappo already mentioned, the name of the book that I read was Treasure Island.
00:05It's about these pirates.
00:08Pirates with patches over their eyes, and shiny gold teeth, and green birds on their shoulders.
00:17Sit down, Bart. I'll see you after class.
00:20Your grades have gotten steadily worse since the beginning of the term.
00:23Are you aware of that?
00:25Yes, ma'am.
00:25Are you aware that there is a major exam tomorrow on Colonial America?
00:29Yes, ma'am.
00:30Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:32Yes, ma'am.
00:33Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:35Yes, ma'am.
00:36Bart, you haven't been paying attention to a word I said, have you?
00:39Yes, ma'am.
00:40Well, then what did I say?
00:41Uh, straighten up and fly right.
00:43Well, that was a lucky guess.
00:45Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, I think you know our district psychiatrist, Dr. J. Lauren Pryor.
00:50I think what we have on our hands here is a classic case of what laymen referred to as fear
00:55of failure.
00:56As a result, Bart is an underachiever, and yet he seems to be proud of it.
01:03One of his problems may be his short attention span, which can lead to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
01:09blah.
01:09Uh-huh.
01:10Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
01:13Daddy's home, sugar.
01:19Come here, you.
01:22Whoa!
01:22Oh, homie, my sisters are here.
01:25Ah, dinner with three beautiful women.
01:27They must be in heaven.
01:29This is her?
01:30Oh, my.
01:31Patty, stop drooling.
01:33Look who's talking.
01:35Goodbye.
01:37Hello.
01:38Hello, homie.
01:39How's my big, important executive?
01:40Oh, Marge, every woman I interview for the secretary job makes kissy faces at me.
01:46Hello, Mr. Simpson.
01:48I'm Carl.
01:49He sounds good.
01:50Hire him.
01:51I'll call you back, Marge.
01:52You don't belong here.
01:53Huh?
01:54You don't belong here.
01:56You told me with the way you slump your shoulders, the way you talk into your chest, the way you
02:00smother yourself in bargain basement lime green polyester.
02:04I want you to say to yourself, I deserve this.
02:08I love it.
02:09I am nature's greatest miracle.
02:12Go ahead, say it.
02:13I, I don't.
02:13Trust me, Homer.
02:14I, I, I don't.
02:15Take a step and say it.
02:17I deserve this.
02:18Louder.
02:19I deserve this.
02:20Shout it.
02:20I am nature's greatest miracle.
02:24I'll need three weeks vacation and moving expenses.
02:26You got it, buddy.
02:54Don't play dumb with me.
02:55We found your book.
02:56You mean this?
02:58It's a harmless cookbook.
03:00It's just a little dusty.
03:08Wait a minute.
03:14Wait.
03:15There's still more space dust on here.
03:21One of the children might pop up with a question about the upcoming election.
03:24Little girl, do you think you can memorize this by dinner time tomorrow?
03:27Mr. Burns, your campaign seems to have the momentum of a runaway freight train.
03:32Why are you so popular?
03:33Very good.
03:34Hmm.
03:34Well, as long as I'm asking something, can I ask him to assuage my fears that he's contaminating
03:39the planet in a manner that may one day render it uninhabitable?
03:42Now, dear, the card question will be fine.
03:43You have 24 hours to live.
03:4624 hours?
03:47Well, 22.
03:48I'm sorry I kept you waiting so long.
03:50Oh, Mark.
03:51I'm gonna die.
03:53I'm gonna die.
03:55You can expect to go through five stages.
03:57The first is denial.
03:58No way, because I'm not dying.
04:00The second is anger.
04:01Why, you little...
04:03After that comes fear.
04:05What's after fear?
04:05What's after fear?
04:06Bargaining.
04:07Doc, you gotta get me out of this.
04:08I'll make it worth your while.
04:09Finally, acceptance.
04:11Well, we all gotta go sometime.
04:13Mr. Simpson, your progress astounds me.
04:15This is good stuff.
04:17I wanna share something with you.
04:19The three little sentences that will get you through life.
04:22Number one, cover for me.
04:25Number two, oh, good idea, boss.
04:27Number three,
04:28Hey, it was like that when I got here.
04:30Hey, this is good stuff.
04:32Told you.
04:32Now, come on.
04:33You're gonna learn how to shave.
04:34And that's how we shave.
04:36Oh.
04:37Oh.
04:37Whoa.
04:38Why, you little...
04:38It was like that when I got here.
04:41Oh, that's my boy.
04:43That's terrible.
04:44We should be teaching the children to treasure the elderly.
04:47You know, we'll be old someday.
04:49My God, you're right, Marge.
04:51Two kids won't put me in a home like I did to my dad, would you?
04:54Well...
04:54Ah!
04:56Marge, what do we do?
04:57Hmm?
