00:25So it's uh, Dave? Is this your first abduction, Dave?
00:30You're an alien?
00:31Uh, nope. Pretty sure you're the alien, Dave. Just messing with you. How's your day been so far?
00:37I know you're nervous, but I've done a million of these, okay? You're gonna be fine.
00:41What is happening?
00:43So, uh, Earth. Do you know, uh, Karen?
00:47What? From Earth? Karen, I think?
00:50Um, there are a lot of Karens.
00:53Okay, figured. Worth a shot, huh?
00:56Okay, and could you cough for me?
00:59Good. Hold your breath.
01:02Good. And hold your blood.
01:05What?
01:05Alright, and look over here for me.
01:08And look over here. Okay, nice. And look into this dimension.
01:12And into this one.
01:14I don't see anything.
01:16Oh, shame.
01:17So weather, huh? You guys have that?
01:19Uh, yeah. What is this all about? Why am I being abducted?
01:22Oh, it's just a routine check up to see if human beings qualify as intelligent life.
01:27EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
01:28Can you hear that?
01:29Yeah.
01:29Okay. How about this?
01:32No.
01:32Okay, and how about this?
01:34Oh, oh, yes, yes, yes!
01:35Stop making stuff!
01:37Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
01:39Oh, great. Now, uh, let's get you out of that skin.
01:42Don't be shy.
01:42Can't take my skin off.
01:43Oh right, human, sorry.
01:45Think!
01:46Okay, what do we got here?
01:50Check show.
01:53And...
01:53Smile.
01:55Great.
02:06Ugh. Typical.
02:08So does Earth get Clarabond's biggest flinks?
02:10Love that challenge. Hilarious.
02:12I don't... get cable.
02:14Look at Garchop's always getting himself in a trap.
02:18What, what, what is it?
02:20Right.
02:21Uh, this may be a little difficult to hear.
02:23Okay, Dave?
02:24Give it to me straight.
02:25Dave, I'm afraid, uh, you can't teleport.
02:30Right, I never could teleport.
02:31Right, on Earth, but, uh, on Andromeda,
02:34you won't be able to.
02:39Well, I want a second opinion.
02:40Well, look, you're welcome to try another abduction,
02:42but I've dealt with many people
02:43who have gone on to live full, happy lives
02:45without the ability to hop around space-time.
02:47I think you can learn to live without it.
02:49Okay.
02:53So...
02:54Did I pass, or...?
02:55Oh, no, no, no.
02:56Humans are idiots.
02:57But hey, that's not the only way we measure these things, okay?
03:00Human beings are miraculous creatures, so fragile, yet so resilient.
03:08Their existence shouldn't work, but somehow, for now, it does.
03:12Human beings, though, not intelligent life, are somehow still capable of love and expression of beauty.
03:19Human beings are, like, the universe looking back on itself.
03:25Wow.
03:26That was beautiful.
03:30I'm never gonna forget that.
03:32And tracking chip installed, and memory wiped complete.
03:44Hi, I wanted to double-check on a charge I'm seeing here.
03:48This is an out-of-network consultation for $1,836,024.12.
03:53$0.12.
03:55$0.12.
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