- 16 hours ago
Their Love? I'm Finally Over It New
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00:06I had a notebook hidden in my drawer it only contained one number 99 the 99 times my family
00:18let me down on my wedding day my sister sylvia meyer suddenly flew back home my parents my brother
00:34zachariah and even my fiance eugene enderson all abandoned me to go pick her up at the airport
00:39while she posted group selfies on instagram showing off how adored she was I called them
00:46over and over yet every call was coldly declined the only one who picked up was eugene he said
00:52just one thing stop overreacting we can always hold another wedding
00:59so at the wedding I had looked forward to for so long they made me the biggest joke of the
01:04day
01:04whispered about and ridiculed by everyone
01:10I calmly wrapped everything up on my own then wrote a new number in my diary 99 it was the
01:1599th time they had disappointed me I no longer wished for their love
01:21I filled out my application to study abroad and packed my suitcase
01:27they all thought I had finally grown obedient but the truth was that I was preparing to leave
01:32the door to my room burst open
01:34zachariah walked in and let out a mocking snort when he saw me staring at my diary
01:40seriously how old are you writing a diary like an elementary school kid
01:47normally I would have snapped back
01:51but this time I didn't even raise my head
01:56annoyed by my indifference zachariah raked a hand through his hair grabbed the diary and flipped it open
02:03inside was only one number 99
02:07the number of times they had let me down
02:12he couldn't understand it
02:13he frowned tossed the notebook onto the floor and ordered me
02:17enough with your nonsense
02:18still wants your garlic butter shrimp
02:20go wash your hands and get cooking
02:23and take it as your apology for that snarky comment you made earlier
02:27I simply said okay and headed downstairs
02:35he was stunned that I didn't throw a tantrum
02:38in the past whenever the family asked me to cook shrimp for sylvia
02:42I would cry like I had suffered some great injustice
02:47why is she suddenly so quiet he thought
02:56Rebecca what's with you
02:57you're not up to something right
02:59you're not planning to put something in her food are you
03:04suspicion flickered in his eyes as he studied me
03:09when he noticed my slightly reddened eyes
03:11he paused and finally shut up
03:17after a long moment he spoke again
03:23Syl's been abroad for a year
03:24living on her own the whole time
03:26this is her first time back home
03:32of course we're eager to see her
03:34you should understand
03:38it's just a wedding
03:39we can throw you another one later
03:44I stayed silent while cleaning the shrimp
03:47right just a wedding
03:48in their eyes nothing would ever matter more than picking up sylvia
03:51not even the wedding I had dreamed of four years
03:58they knew it had taken me months to secure that couture gown
04:04they knew I spent half a year planning every detail with the wedding team
04:09yet in the end they turned me into the biggest joke of the entire event
04:14my family never showed up
04:16Eugene never appeared
04:19while sylvia flaunted her airport welcome party on instagram
04:23i faced the guests ridicule and puzzled stares alone
04:29even the hotel staff noticed how pale i looked and pitying me
04:33urged me to go home and rest
04:38but when my family returned
04:39the first thing they did was ask me to cook
04:45a bitter smile tugged at my lips
04:50i had once thought that because my parents were getting older
04:53sylvia was abroad
04:54zachariah was busy
04:55and i was getting married
04:57i should decline my professor's offer to study overseas
05:01but now i knew leaving was the right choice
05:05unfortunately even with the application submitted
05:08i still had two weeks before i could depart
05:11i pushed past zachariah
05:14move you're blocking the way
05:17my coldness made him feel like he had swung a fist
05:20only to hit empty air
05:22he sighed about to speak again
05:24but sylvia's voice rang out from the living room
05:28zach i can't open this chestnut
05:33zachariah panicked instantly
05:35don't do it yourself
05:36you'll hurt your hands
05:37you're gonna be a pianist
05:38wait i'll help you
05:40that annoying buzzing finally left the kitchen
05:42i lowered my gaze to my hands
05:44my once slender fingers were now red and swollen
05:47from an allergic reaction
05:49when i set the plate of shrimps on the dining table
05:52i glanced toward the living room
05:54the atmosphere over there was warm and lively
05:56dad who was usually busy with business calls
05:59suddenly had all the time in the world
06:01he sat comfortably on the couch
06:03listening patiently while sylvia talked about her fun experiences studying abroad
06:10mom held sylvia in her arms
06:12fussing over her
06:13saying she looked thinner and must have suffered overseas
06:17zachariah was sitting next to her
06:19focused on opening chestnuts for her
06:23i didn't say anything
06:25i just watched that cozy little scene quietly
06:29the living room and dining room felt like to completely different worlds
06:34one side was full of laughter
06:36and the other was utterly silent
06:39becca why are you standing over there
06:41is it because i messed up your wedding
06:43are you still mad at me
06:45sylvia's soft pitiful voice carried across the room
06:48only then did the three in the living room finally notice me
06:52dad frowned instinctively
06:56wipe that look off your face
06:58get over here
07:00mom's expression held a flash of irritation
07:02your wedding mess happened because you picked a bad date
07:06it had nothing to do with slive
07:09if you dare stay mad at her
07:11don't call me your mother
07:13sylvia pouted dramatically and tugged on mom's sleeve
07:16mom don't say that
07:18you'll make becca sad
07:19she sounded like she was defending me
07:21but the smugness in her eyes was impossible to hide
07:25i knew better that sylvia was far from innocent
07:29a week ago
07:30i told her the wedding date myself
07:32she saw the message and even replied that she was preparing a surprise
07:38and she did give me one
07:39it was just not the kind anyone would want
07:45this forced choice between us was a game she had played since childhood
07:51every single time
07:52i was never the one my parents or zachariah chose
07:58even eugene who was supposed to spend his life with me
08:01didn't choose me
08:03i should have been heartbroken
08:04but maybe i had gone numb
08:06hearing their words now barely stirred anything inside me
08:11i'm not mad
08:12the moment i said that
08:14everyone stopped and stared at me
08:16it was impossible that i wasn't mad
08:19i caught the expressions on their faces
08:21and felt a wave of irony
08:24they knew what they did was infuriating
08:26yet they chose to do it anyway
08:28and then acted like my emotions were the problem
08:33my calmness made my parents and zachariah uneasy
08:37after a moment of silence dad finally said
08:41good
08:43we're a family so stop taking everything so seriously
08:46yes i understand
08:48i nodded obediently
08:52seeing me act so unaffected
08:54they relaxed and turned back to fussing over sylvia
09:00aside from the shrimp i made
09:02the table was covered in seafood dishes prepared by the housekeeper
09:05they were everything sylvia loved
09:08sylv
09:09you're so thin
09:11eat more
09:13dad and zachariah's fork never stopped moving
09:16before long
09:17the food was piled high in her plate like a tiny mountain
09:23she beamed as she bragged to the family about her life overseas
09:29she claimed she had already secured a spot in an orchestra
09:32and would be performing with them soon
09:35my parents and zachariah showered her with praise
09:39i quietly continued eating my rice
09:42my silence must have finally stirred some guilt in mom
09:45because she suddenly remembered i had been humiliated today
09:52a shrimp was placed on my plate
09:55i looked up
09:56mom's expression was a little stiff
09:59eat
10:00don't think we only care about sylv
10:02didn't i just give one to you too
10:04i stared at the shrimp for a long time
10:07then set my fork down
10:10no need
10:11i'm full
10:16mom looked embarrassed and a little irritated
10:22what's wrong with you now
10:24just as she was about to say more
10:26sylvia who was sitting beside her
10:28suddenly grabbed her throat
10:30her facial expression changed instantly
10:35mom i can't breathe
10:38when my parents and zachariah rushed to sylvia's side
10:42and saw the hives spreading across her skin
10:44they panicked
10:47she's having an allergic reaction
10:51how could this happen all of a sudden
10:54mom's gaze flicked around then landed on me
10:59the next second she slapped me with all her strength
11:06i staggered
11:07couldn't steady myself
11:08and fell to the floor
11:09my head buzzed
11:13rebecca what did you put in the food
11:14don't you remember what sylv is allergic to
11:17zachariah looked at me with utter disappointment
11:20i knew it
11:21it was weird that you were acting so agreeable
11:25you were really planning to hurt syl
11:30rebecca how can i have such a vicious sister
11:35enough stop yelling
11:39take sylv to the hospital first
11:42dad slammed the table
11:43and only then did mom and zachariah
11:46tear their hateful glares away from me
11:47my whole family rushed out in a blind panic
11:51and i was the only one left sitting on the floor
11:53holding my swollen cheek in a daze
11:57it wasn't me
11:58i wanted to say it so badly
12:02but things like this had happened too many times
12:04and i knew they wouldn't believe me even if i said it
12:09so i would just forget about it
12:13one of the house staff came running over after hearing the commotion
12:16she tried to help me up
12:18but froze when she saw my hands
12:20miss rebecca
12:21what happened to your hands
12:23why are they so swollen
12:26i'm fine
12:28i rejected her help
12:29stood up on my own
12:31and went upstairs to my room
12:35i picked up the notebook on my desk
12:37as a flood of memories surged through me
12:40when i was eight
12:41our family had very little money
12:43all five of us squeezed into one old cramped house
12:51my parents were overwhelmed with work and couldn't take care of three kids at the same time
12:55they decided one of us needed to be sent to our grandparents in the countryside
13:01but zachariah was about to start high school at a critical time
13:04and sylvia was too young and frail for them to feel at ease sending her away
13:11i didn't want to see my parents looking so stressed
13:13so i lifted my hand and volunteered
13:17and just like that i was sent to the countryside
13:23before i left mom stroked my head and said i was the most sensible child
13:29but no one told me the price of being sensible was that i would stay there for eight whole years
13:35for eight years except for the new year i didn't see my parents zachariah or sylvia
13:43i watched their clothes get nicer every year and could guess that life at home had improved a lot
13:50i kept waiting for mom and dad to bring me home
13:53but i grew from an elementary schooler into a high schooler
13:57and even after my aging grandparents passed away
14:00they still hadn't come for me
14:04i only returned once there was no one left to take care of me
14:07the tiny rundown house in my memories was gone
14:11in its place stood a three-story villa
14:17the room they gave me was on the first floor corner
14:19it was nothing like zachariah's room filled with books and gaming gear
14:23nor like sylvia's room overflowing with girlish decorations
14:28it mirrored my place in this family never important enough to matter and always easy to overlook
14:37i packed the few belongings i had and stuffed them into my suitcase
14:43the wedding leave i had requested from my advisor rayden delian was useless now
14:50i was about to call him to say i would be back tomorrow when my phone suddenly rang
14:56it was eugene
14:59i thought he was calling about wedding follow-ups
15:02but the moment i picked up he started yelling
15:06rebecca what did you do to syl
15:10why is she in the hospital
15:13the man who was always calm and composed had lost it twice in one day
15:19the first time was when he heard sylvia was back in the country
15:22the second time was because she went to the hospital
15:28i found it funny considering he was supposed to be my fiance
15:35she had an allergic reaction
15:38so it was you wasn't it how could you do that to your own sister
15:43his voice was thick with anger
15:46rebecca i always thought you were a kind person
15:49but just because of something this small you sent syl to the hospital
15:53do you even have a conscience
15:56i listened to his accusations too tired to bother explaining
16:02yeah guess i don't
16:05it's my fault
16:06i'll apologize to her when she gets back
16:09are you happy now
16:11if you've said everything you needed to say i'm hanging up
16:15i have things to do
16:20eugene froze
16:21he clearly didn't expect this reaction
16:25before this we had fought countless times over sylvia
16:30on dates he would get lost in conversation with her
16:34at meals he would forget my food allergies but always order her favorites
16:40whenever i accused him of crossing lines he would respond with
16:44you're overthinking she's your sister
16:46i'm just looking after her for you
16:51his indifference made me look like some controlling jealous lunatic
16:56my parents and zachariah took his side every time
16:59saying i was too possessive
17:03so when sylvia left the country for a year
17:05i shamefully felt relieved
17:09but i had been starving for affection for so long that i forgot broken glass cuts
17:14i kept clutching those shards long after they should have been dropped
17:18and now all i was left with were bleeding hands
17:33eugene's voice carried a clear threat
17:37i heard him get out of the car
17:39the door slamming shut
17:40and the noise around him suddenly growing louder
17:44i could tell he was going to the hospital
17:46probably rushing in to check on sylvia
17:50he was using my name as an excuse just so he could fuss over the woman he actually cared about
17:55did he really think i was stupid enough to fall for it
18:00i let out a dry laugh
18:02hung up
18:03and called raiden
18:06by the time my parents and zachariah finally dragged themselves home
18:10exhausted
18:11i had already finished packing and was ready to move into the dorms
18:17just in time to hear mom sigh
18:21if only gino's family were better off
18:24he and syl would make such a good match
18:28look at him
18:29he's so attentive
18:32my steps faltered
18:35then dad spoke
18:38yeah
18:39he's decent looking too
18:40i think sylv actually likes him
18:46if i had known earlier i wouldn't have arranged for eugene and rebecca to meet
18:54don't overthink it
18:56mom said
18:58i can't bear the thought of sylv suffering with him
19:00better for eugene to be with rebecca
19:03they match each other
19:08besides
19:09syl is going to be a pianist
19:13even if he's her brother-in-law
19:14he can still spoil her
19:18she kept talking
19:19then lifted her head and saw me standing on the stairs
19:23she jolted back a couple of steps in panic
19:28rebecca
19:31what are you doing here
19:33mom must have assumed the lights were off because i was asleep
19:37who knew how much of their conversation i had heard
19:41i ignored the faint sting in my chest and walked right past her
19:47i have things to take care of at school i'm heading back
19:50seeing that i looked calm
19:53my parents exchanged a glance and finally relaxed
19:57zachariah frowned when he noticed the suitcase at my side
20:00you're taking luggage to school
20:02what are you afraid we'll accountable for sylv's allergy
20:05are you planning to run away
20:08the moment he brought it up
20:09my parents
20:10who had looked guilty just seconds earlier
20:13straightened their backs and towered over me with righteous indignation
20:17right
20:17we almost forgot
20:20rebecca do you realize sel ended up in the hospital because of you
20:25you won't apologize
20:27and now you want to walk away
20:32do you think you can get off that easily
20:37irritation crept up my spine when i saw they were worked up and clearly unwilling to back down
20:42i pulled out my phone
20:45dialed sylvia and put the call on speaker
20:47she was awake now
20:50at that moment she was basking in eugene's attentive care
20:54the moment she picked up
20:56her voice dripped with faux innocence
20:58becca
21:00why are you calling me
21:01did someone tell you gino is here
21:04taking care of me
21:05are you upset about that
21:08the moment sylvia's voice came through
21:10my parents and zachariah both froze
21:13they could hardly believe that such petty
21:15spiteful words were coming out of the mouth of the daughter
21:18and sister they adored
21:20i didn't care what they were thinking
21:22nor did i care about eugene hovering over her
21:25i said flatly
21:26hmm eugene's taking good care of you
21:32everyone listening was stunned
21:36sylvia too sounded confused
21:39becca are you serious
21:42of course
21:44i replied without hesitation
21:49i don't know what exactly triggered your allergy
21:52but i'll apologize anyway
21:54i'm sorry
21:59before anyone could react
22:01i hung up cleanly
22:02then looked at my family
22:04every one of them was dumbfounded
22:06can i go now
22:08i asked calmly
22:11this time
22:12no one even tried to stop me
22:15i didn't bother taking zachariah's snide remark
22:18why aren't you throwing a fit now
22:20to heart
22:22back at school
22:23i switched my phone to airplane mode
22:25and locked myself in the lab
22:27working non-stop for 13 straight days
22:32i didn't step out of the lab
22:34until the day before my departure
22:36when i finally finished my experiments
22:41the moment i turned my phone back on
22:43it exploded with notifications
22:48there were messages from everyone my family
22:50eugene
22:51and a flood of texts from my friends
22:55i opened my friend eleanor hamilton's conversation first
23:00she was furious
23:02she had sent 70 or 80 messages in a row
23:05all cursing out eugene and sylvia
23:09then she sent a screenshot from sylvia's instagram
23:14it was a family portrait
23:16my parents
23:17zachariah
23:18sylvia
23:19and even eugene
23:20were in the photo
23:22he was standing next to sylvia
23:24staring at her like a knight guarding his princess
23:27his eyes were soft and full of devotion
23:32sylvia's caption read
23:34with the people i love most
23:36the audacity nearly sent eleanor over the edge
23:39she ranted endlessly and even commented under the post
23:45your sister isn't even there
23:47it looks like your brother-in-law is taking good care of you
23:52i soothed her with a few replies before opening the rest of my messages
24:00without exception
24:01every message scolded me for letting eleanor bully poor syl
24:07i apologized one by one
24:09just as i was about to lock my phone
24:11zachariah called
24:14rebecca what the hell is going on
24:16why haven't we been able to reach you
24:20you have no idea how worried we have been the past few days
24:26right after he said that
24:28i heard sylvia's bright sugary voice in the background
24:31dad mom jenna look at this carousel it's so pretty
24:35so they were at an amusement park
24:38i asked softly
24:39worried
24:42that single word made zachariah choke up
24:44it took him a long time to respond
24:48well
24:50yeah
24:50we couldn't reach you
24:53if you were around
24:54you could have come too
24:59besides it's all your friend's fault
25:00sylva's sensitive
25:02she cried for hours after seeing that comment
25:04we had to bring her out to cheer her up
25:06i already apologized
25:08he went quiet again as if he had no idea what to say next
25:12after a long pause he muttered
25:16good
25:16you finally learned to behave
25:18the next second eugene snatched the phone
25:22his deep annoyed voice cut through the speaker
25:25rebecca did you tell your friend to leave that comment
25:28why is your mind always so dirty
25:31i've told you so many times
25:33that sylvia is your sister
25:35i'm only looking after her for you
25:37your whole family does that
25:39i know you're jealous because everyone likes syl more
25:41but that's not her fault
25:46maybe you should think about why no one likes you
25:51my grip on the phone tightened when i heard him run his mouth like that
25:57when we first started dating
25:58i had told eugene about how my family treated me
26:03back then
26:04he held me and said he would always be on my side
26:09now he told me to reflect on why myself
26:16but i didn't feel sad
26:18a little over 10 days ago
26:20back at my parents place
26:23i finally learned the truth that eugene had never liked me
26:29he had just been playing a part
26:33and once the act landed
26:34he could stay by the woman he actually wanted
26:38protect her
26:38spoil her
26:40and never let go
26:42what i thought was fate had never been anything more than a script they rehearsed together
26:51sometimes i wanted to ask why
26:54but there was no point
26:57love that wasn't there was simply not there
26:59whether it was family or romance
27:01it didn't need a reason
27:04on the other end of the line eugene started stammering apologies
27:07clearly realizing he had gone too far
27:12it didn't matter anymore
27:16i glanced at the flight information my colleague had sent me and spoke calmly
27:27eugene
27:30let's break up
27:31i was done being someone's tool
27:34i was leaving
27:35hearing my words
27:37the other end of the call went dead silent
27:41just as i was about to hang up
27:43eugene suddenly laughed
27:46he was full of confidence like he had me completely figured out
27:51rebecca
27:51are you sure you spent so long preparing for that wedding
27:55there's no way you actually want to break up
28:00i sighed
28:02so you do know i spent a long time preparing
28:06he seemed convinced i was just throwing another tantrum and spoke helplessly
28:11stop it
28:13i already told you that i'll make it up to you
28:20acting like this won't work on me
28:22i didn't have the energy to explain anything further
28:26when i heard him and zachariah arguing in the background
28:32i simply hung up
28:34then i blocked every number belonging to my family and to eugene
28:42that night
28:43i slept deeply and had a dream
28:48in my dream
28:49a little girl dressed differently from her siblings sat at a desk
28:54writing in her diary
28:56she held a pen and wrote the number one in a new notebook
28:59mumbling to herself
29:01if it ever reaches 99
29:03i won't want mom
29:05dad
29:05zach
29:06or sil anymore
29:07she paused
29:08then crossed out the number and wrote 0.5 instead
29:11mom and dad forgot to buy clothes for me again
29:14the kids at school laughed at my old outfit
29:17i felt sad
29:19but this is the best i have
29:21today sil said i stole her things
29:25mom and dad beat me
29:28i didn't steal anything
29:30i was trying to clean it for her
29:34sil wanted garlic butter shrimp
29:37i cooked it mom and dad forgot i'm allergic to seafood
29:42my hands swelled
29:45it hurts a lot
29:47it's sil's birthday
29:49the cake is so pretty
29:51i want a birthday too
29:53but mom and dad forgot mine comes two days earlier
29:58i watched silently as she filled the notebook page after page sometimes listing fractions
30:03sometimes whole numbers
30:06she made excuses for her family over and over
30:09her face grew increasingly numb
30:11when the notebook was almost full
30:14the wedding she had hoped for fell apart too
30:16the number stopped at 99
30:19i found myself staring straight into the eyes of the girl in the wedding dress
30:23i should have left
30:25earlier
30:26she said
30:27i nodded
30:28but it's not too late now
30:33when i boarded the plane
30:34all those heavy feelings i had recorded all the resentment
30:39disappointment
30:40and wounds stayed behind on that land
30:44i threw myself into studying with everything i had
30:49being alone in a foreign country could feel lonely
30:52but unlike sylvia
30:54i didn't look for someone to complain to
30:56i used every spare moment to fill myself up again
31:00like a sponge
31:01i absorbed everything i'd never had the chance to learn before
31:04eventually my lab mates begged me to stop overworking
31:07and forced me to take a break
31:10i returned to my dorm and lay on my bed
31:14while chatting with eleanor
31:15she suddenly mentioned my family and eugene
31:18sounding gleeful
31:21becca you won't believe it
31:22after you left
31:23eugene and the meyer family practically went crazy
31:27crazy
31:29i murmured
31:32i typed a casual reply
31:34impossible
31:35they don't care about me that much
31:37eleanor sent a quick message back
31:39who knows
31:40but apparently they've been trying every possible way to contact you
31:45i nodded
31:46that finally explained all the recent unknown numbers calling me
31:51but since i never answer unfamiliar calls
31:54i always ignored them
31:58it turned out they were from my family and eugene
32:03as i was thinking this another unknown number came in
32:08i hesitated
32:09then answered
32:10to my surprise
32:11it was mom
32:12the moment the call connected
32:14she sounded emotional
32:16becca you finally picked up
32:17where did you run off to
32:19why did you block all of us
32:21we thought something happened to you
32:25she paused
32:26then spoke stiffly
32:29we shouldn't have ignored your feelings before
32:32come home
32:33we'll celebrate your birthday
32:37her sudden change in tone was too abnormal
32:40i immediately thought of the notebook i had tossed into the trash before leaving
32:44and figured they must have fished it out and read my diary
32:4799 numbers and far more than 99 wounds
32:52no wonder they were suddenly drowning in guilt and desperate to make it up to me
32:55but what did it change
32:59doing something that hurt me and then coming back asking for forgiveness didn't prove they cared
33:06it only proved they wanted to soothe their own conscience
33:09i said coldly
33:10no need
33:12i don't like celebrating birthdays
33:16mom choked on my words and was left speechless for a long moment
33:20when she finally spoke again
33:22she tried to persuade me to come home soon
33:25i looked around my small dorm room
33:29it wasn't big
33:30but everything inside it was mine
33:32i had chosen them
33:35this place was where i finally felt i belonged
33:41no need
33:42i'm already home
33:43i said it calmly
33:45then hung up
33:47i had assumed my refusal that day was clear enough
33:51but one afternoon
33:53after finishing my experiments
33:55and stepping out of the lab
33:57i saw the very last group of people i wanted to face
34:00standing at the entrance of my apartment building
34:05it was dad
34:06mom
34:07zachariah and eugene
34:11when they saw me
34:12all of them looked shaken
34:15beck
34:15you're finally back
34:18zachariah started toward me
34:20but eugene shoved past him and planted himself directly in front of me
34:26becca
34:26long time no see
34:29he looked haggard
34:30eyes red
34:31like he hadn't slept in days
34:32the old me might have felt a sting of sympathy
34:35now i only felt annoyed
34:38we already broke up
34:39why are you here
34:41eugene's eyes reddened even more
34:44i didn't agree to break up
34:47we just had a misunderstanding
34:51a breakup doesn't need your consent
34:54i said calmly
34:57then looked toward my family standing awkwardly to the side
35:03i heard everything you said that day
35:04my parents and zachariah went pale in an instant
35:07and even eugene's eyes widened as the truth finally hit him
35:11i continued with the truth i had pieced together
35:15eugene has always liked sylvia
35:17you didn't think his family background was good enough for her
35:23so you pushed him towards me instead
35:26that way you could still keep someone around to spoil sylvia right
35:33no no that's not
35:36mom tried to deny it
35:40but even she had no strength to argue
35:43dad and zachariah both lowered their heads
35:46shame painted across their faces
35:49as for eugene
35:50he rushed to explain himself
35:54i did like syl in the beginning
35:56but that was only at the start
35:58we're about to get married
35:59how could i not have feelings for you
36:03i nodded
36:04as if acknowledging it
36:06relief briefly flickered in his eyes
36:08then i struck cleanly
36:13but you didn't show up to our wedding
36:14so we're not getting married anymore
36:17no we can have another wedding
36:20i i already ordered your dress
36:22it's still from your favorite designer
36:24i already contacted the wedding planner
36:27as long as you agree
36:29we can redo everything
36:31it'll be even better than last time
36:35eugene held my shoulders
36:36voice hoarse with pleading
36:39becca please
36:40just listen to me
36:42i only take care of sel
36:43out of habit
36:46the person i love is really you
36:48i never thought you would actually leave
36:51i was a jerk
36:54i hurt you
36:55it's my fault
36:57i gently pushed his hands off
37:00his red rimmed eyes
37:01stirred something inside me
37:03after all
37:04he was the person who stayed with me
37:05during the loneliest years of my life
37:07and he was the one who made me believe
37:09i could be loved
37:11and maybe that was exactly why
37:13i could never forgive him
37:15forgiving him would mean
37:17betraying the girl who once waited
37:18so desperately for her wedding day
37:22you love me
37:23no you don't
37:26love doesn't look like this
37:29love means always feeling indebted
37:33not taking advantage of someone's feelings
37:36and hurting them again and again
37:39love is two people trying to understand each other
37:41not one person doing all the giving
37:45eugene
37:47we can't go back
37:49you know very well what i wanted
37:51what i wanted was someone who chose me without hesitation
37:56but he had never done that
37:58eugene staggered back like he had been struck by lightning
38:01he slumped over and covered his face
38:04it looked like he was crying
38:05i didn't comfort him
38:07he was an ex-boyfriend now
38:09he wasn't worth my energy
38:10that was all that needed to be said
38:12as long as he wasn't blocking my path to the dorm
38:15that was enough
38:17just as i turned to go
38:19my family stopped me
38:20that was when i recalled
38:22there were still three more people i hadn't dealt with
38:25i rubbed my temples
38:27irritated
38:28then looked at the three guilty hesitant faces
38:31he's here to beg me to get back together
38:34what about you
38:35what are you here for
38:39dad exhaled heavily
38:41becca
38:43only when we read your diary
38:45did we realize how much you've suffered all these years
38:48are you done
38:50you can go now
38:51i have things to do this afternoon
38:53don't waste my time
38:54how is this wasting time
38:56we're apologizing
38:58zachariah's voice trembled with frustration
39:01just because you're apologizing
39:02doesn't mean i have to accept it
39:04i said firmly
39:07zachariah opened his mouth
39:08but had nothing to say
39:11you keep saying you shifted your love for me onto sylvia
39:13but why
39:15i was the one you owed
39:17she was the one who benefited
39:18in your house
39:20i wasn't even as happy as i was living with grandpa and grandma
39:24now i've left
39:25i'm far away from you
39:28we can live our separate lives
39:30isn't that better for everyone
39:34mom was already sobbing
39:38becca
39:39you're our daughter
39:41you can't just cut us off like this
39:44i'd rather not be your daughter
39:46after saying that
39:47i turned and walked upstairs
39:49not bothering to look at the three of them
39:51crying in a pathetic little huddle
39:55during my final year of grad school
39:57a huge scandal exploded in our overseas student circle
40:03it turned out that after sylvia went abroad
40:05she immediately tossed aside the piano she had bragged so much about
40:10all the claims about orchestras and teacher recommendations were lies
40:17she didn't learn anything valuable
40:19what she did pick up was a chaotic lifestyle and an std
40:25then at some party she got involved with things she shouldn't have touched
40:31to get money from my family
40:32she lied that she was seriously ill
40:35my parents and zachariah rushed over out of worry
40:38only to walk in on her partying wildly
40:42apparently she was still high when they confronted her and she snapped
40:48aren't i your favorite
40:49why would you give money to that bitch rebecca instead of me
40:52if you had given me money
40:54i wouldn't have had to lie
40:56during the argument she became delirious grabbed a knife and stabbed zachariah
41:04he survived but the damage was permanent
41:16his body would never fully recover for the rest of his life
41:20my parents called it a family disaster and finally cut off her allowance
41:27without money she slid even further down the wrong path
41:32she passed her disease to several people then returned home looking for someone to
41:37take responsibility and guess who her target was
41:40eugene
41:46even though he claimed to love me when his first love came knocking
41:53he didn't refuse
41:56except that first love turned out to have an std
41:59he got infected too
42:05unable to accept what his life had become
42:07he snapped and stabbed sylvia
42:12she stabbed him and he stabbed her
42:16in the end
42:18one was dead
42:19and the other one was injured and imprisoned
42:23i stared at those familiar names and felt nothing but a faint distant sigh
42:31whatever emotions i once had were long gone
42:34after graduating i returned to america and became a key researcher at a pharmaceutical company
42:40my parents and zachariah eventually tracked down where i worked
42:43they tried to visit but they never even made it past the front gate because the security stopped them
42:50and so they lived the rest of their lives in regret
42:55they regretted never cherishing the girl they once brought home
43:00and they regretted losing the daughter and sister who once looked at them like they were her whole world
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