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jamesmovies
  • 3 hours ago
Transcript
00:00:58Here we go.
00:01:54Good morning, Sam. How's it going?
00:01:56Good. How are you doing?
00:01:58Are you sweating?
00:02:00Yeah, man. I've been walking like the last two hours.
00:02:03Two hours? It's 7.30 in the morning.
00:02:07Uh, better make that three, I guess.
00:02:10Wait, what? Why?
00:02:13Well, my car broke down a couple weeks ago. That's why I wasn't at bowling last night. I thought you
00:02:17knew about that.
00:02:18What? So, so you've been walking for two hours?
00:02:21Three. Three hours.
00:02:22You've been walking three hours to work for the last two weeks?
00:02:27Mm-hmm.
00:02:28Well, why haven't you just asked me for a ride?
00:02:30Well, I'm kind of out of your way. I mean, I am all the way across town.
00:02:34I really don't mind. I'm up at 3 a.m. sharp every day. Just in case.
00:02:39Yeah, I forgot. Well, maybe you could start picking me up. How did bowling go, anyway?
00:02:45I scored an 85.
00:02:47Hmm. That is, uh... Well, that's really not good.
00:02:52Yeah. I was, uh, trying out left-handed.
00:02:55What's that?
00:02:55Oh, you know, it's when you roll the ball with your left hand.
00:02:58No, no. What? No. What is, uh... What is that?
00:03:01Someone's pulling into the park.
00:03:03Hmm?
00:03:09Hmm.
00:03:11Hmm.
00:03:13Hmm.
00:03:30Oh, hey. Thanks, guy. Keep it running.
00:03:37Excuse me. Can I help you, sir?
00:03:40Hi, yeah! Uh, uh, Ronald.
00:03:43We're gonna need you, my man, to move a few of these vehicles to the other side of the lot.
00:03:48Oh, uh, these vehicles are supposed to be here.
00:03:51Uh, you, gentlemen, unfortunately, actually can't park here.
00:03:55So sorry. There's a bus dropping off students here soon.
00:03:59Oh, a bus. Huh.
00:04:00Uh, yeah. We got field trips here all week.
00:04:03Uh, we got about 40 kids that are gonna be here soon.
00:04:06A field trip. Students. Right, right, right.
00:04:10Uh, that's cute, isn't it?
00:04:12Children are the future, after all, aren't they?
00:04:14Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
00:04:16Well, at least that's what they say.
00:04:18I've never actually interacted with one.
00:04:20Hmm.
00:04:21But seriously, I'm gonna need this whole lot cleared, like, right now.
00:04:25Uh...
00:04:26Hey, Robert. Sam.
00:04:28Why don't the two of you guys go unlock the gates at the east entrance of the park?
00:04:32I'll take care of this, okay?
00:04:33What-what's going on here, Melvin?
00:04:35Uh...
00:04:36Ooh, Melvin!
00:04:37You didn't tell your little nature nerds?
00:04:39Ooh, ouch!
00:04:41Ha ha!
00:04:43You guys recycle, right?
00:04:44Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
00:04:46Well, you see, Alpha's on here, purchased the park, and they're going to build a solar farm.
00:04:53A solar farm?
00:04:54Purchase the park? Can they even do that?
00:04:57And where are they going to build a solar farm? It's all woodland.
00:05:00Turns out they can do it, actually.
00:05:02This is a national park, and the government holds the lease to the park.
00:05:08Should I say held?
00:05:11Anyhow, they're going to deforest a portion of the park in order to build the solar farm.
00:05:15This isn't really the way I wanted to tell you guys, but unfortunately, it also means that your hours are
00:05:22going to be severely reduced to zero.
00:05:27We're losing our job?
00:05:29When were you going to tell us this?
00:05:30It was on my to-do list to tell you. It was, but you know how to-do lists are.
00:05:35If you don't actually do the thing on the list, it doesn't get done.
00:05:39When is all of this happening? How long do we have?
00:05:43One week from today.
00:05:45Look, guys. I'm really sorry.
00:05:50Excuse me. Gentlemen. A million dollars. Waiting on a dime. Are we going to move these?
00:06:04Jason, you guys have any malort?
00:06:07What's that?
00:06:08Uh, malort?
00:06:09No, no, no. What is malort?
00:06:12Oh, uh, I don't know. I just heard of it. You guys got any?
00:06:17Uh, no.
00:06:19Then, uh, just another beer, please, Jason.
00:06:22All right.
00:06:31Lovely, Jason. Thank you.
00:06:37Robert, what are you doing here?
00:06:40Well, just lost our jobs. Figured I'd stop by and see if the bar is hiring.
00:06:45Robert, you can't work here.
00:06:48Why not?
00:06:49What time do you go to bed?
00:06:51Ain't 30 p.m., 9 on weekends.
00:06:54I'm here until 2, and I don't get out until 3 at the earliest.
00:06:58In the morning?
00:07:00Yeah. In the morning.
00:07:02Ah, well, I could... change.
00:07:07I doubt it.
00:07:08Well, I'd need to be trained, of course.
00:07:12Okay.
00:07:14What's this?
00:07:15Oh, that, that, that's a, that's a small...
00:07:18...uh, uh, uh, mini...
00:07:21Oh, my God. It's a tiny cup.
00:07:25No.
00:07:26There's not enough time in the world, Robert.
00:07:28I'll just have a beer, then, please, Jason.
00:07:31Uh, Robert, you don't drink.
00:07:34Now seems as good a time as any to start.
00:07:38So what are you gonna do?
00:07:40Well, I'm gonna finish this beer, and then I'm gonna go to Macy's and blow my rent money.
00:07:48I love Macy's.
00:07:49No, I, I mean, for a job.
00:07:52Oh, oh, yeah.
00:07:54Um, I could see if Macy's is hiring.
00:08:00Plus, I'm, uh, I'm pretty good with a lawnmower.
00:08:03Yeah, you are.
00:08:06Well, uh, you shouldn't have too much trouble finding work.
00:08:09Uh, you were the youngest person in the Carolinas to earn their Eagle Scout.
00:08:13What were you, 12?
00:08:1411.
00:08:15And I still have the record for the fastest Pinewood Derby card, too.
00:08:19Yeah?
00:08:20I think.
00:08:21Anyway, uh, what are you thinking for work?
00:08:24I mean, minus being the town's newest bartender.
00:08:26I don't know.
00:08:29It's weird, Sam.
00:08:31All my life, I've felt a little lost.
00:08:34Throughout my whole career and my school, uh, nothing ever really fit.
00:08:41Until I found the park, this last six years have been the happiest I've ever been.
00:08:46And I don't know what to do now that it's being taken away.
00:08:50Guess I'll just have to try my best to really enjoy this last six days.
00:08:54Yeah, I feel you, man.
00:08:56I'm gonna miss it, too.
00:08:58I don't wanna talk to these Alphazon guys any more than we have to, but someone's gonna have to train
00:09:03them.
00:09:03And we'll have to make sure they don't start tearing down trees near the Sasquatch.
00:09:08I'm sorry, what was that?
00:09:09Oh, yeah, Bigfoot?
00:09:11Uh, the one that lives in the woods?
00:09:13I was just thinking, it's gonna be a whole ordeal with Alphazon coming and tearing down parts of the forest.
00:09:19I mean, that's his home, you know?
00:09:21He's gonna wonder what's going on when trees start coming down, so we should really steer them clear.
00:09:30Look.
00:09:31No.
00:09:40Show me.
00:09:53Did you ever see the Andy Griffith show?
00:09:55Oh, yeah.
00:09:56I always figured that would be up your alley.
00:09:58That's pretty good.
00:09:59I mean, Don Knotts, also Andy Griffith's in it.
00:10:02Okay.
00:10:02Wait, what are we doing?
00:10:05Oh, that's right, Bigfoot.
00:10:07Okay, so the stick gets him to come out.
00:10:09Well, no, it's really the candy bar that he wants.
00:10:13The stick just lets him know that we're here.
00:10:15But really, I just fed him this morning.
00:10:18This isn't really part of his normal routine, so I don't know if he's going to show up.
00:10:33Okay.
00:10:34Look, Robert, I get it.
00:10:36We lost our job, and that sucks.
00:10:38Really, it does.
00:10:38But if you're also losing your mind, man, I don't know what the...
00:11:00Hello?
00:11:03Hello?
00:11:04Who's out there?
00:11:06Oh, uh...
00:11:11Robert, Sam, what are you two doing out here?
00:11:14Uh, well, I, uh, you were...
00:11:18I was, um...
00:11:19Um...
00:11:19My back.
00:11:20And then my knees.
00:11:21Oh.
00:11:23And...
00:11:25Have you always been drinking?
00:11:26Yes.
00:11:27Yes.
00:11:27No.
00:11:28Yes.
00:11:29I tried.
00:11:32Robert, you need to go home and get some rest.
00:11:35What?
00:11:36Night, Robert.
00:11:37Night.
00:11:38And you...
00:11:39And you...
00:11:40You are in no condition to walk, mister.
00:11:42Look, man.
00:11:43You don't know me.
00:11:44I could walk for miles.
00:11:46These feet are educated.
00:11:48Come on.
00:11:49You can sleep on my couch.
00:11:51Okay, fine, Melvin.
00:11:52But I'm going to complain the whole time.
00:11:54I got those mini corndogs you love.
00:11:58No, first of all, I love all corndogs.
00:12:02Every size.
00:12:03And beach.
00:12:04Just get in the car, mister.
00:12:06Okay.
00:12:06Okay.
00:12:07Ow.
00:12:09Come on, Sam.
00:12:11Get...
00:12:11Ow.
00:12:12Ow.
00:12:13Ow.
00:12:13Ow.
00:12:13Get...
00:12:14Ow.
00:12:14Melvin.
00:12:14Get in there.
00:12:15Stay in there.
00:12:21And thirdly, I thought you had a hatchback, man.
00:12:24When did you get a sedan?
00:12:25When did you become such a sellout?
00:12:27We used to be cool, Melvin.
00:12:29We used to be cool.
00:12:31Ha ha.
00:12:32Ah.
00:12:37Now, as we are all very aware, most wildfires in North Carolina are caused by...
00:12:44Yes?
00:12:45Cruel Mother Nature.
00:12:46Oh, um, people, actually.
00:12:51You want to know what makes me really sad?
00:12:54When boys and girls like you play with matches, you see, even when you blow a match out, it
00:13:04has the potential to start a fire.
00:13:16Oh, see?
00:13:16That's perfectly normal.
00:13:18Oh.
00:13:22Is it supposed to do that?
00:13:24Okay.
00:13:24It's not supposed to do that.
00:13:26Stay calm.
00:13:26It's okay.
00:13:27I got this.
00:13:28Robert!
00:13:29Robert!
00:13:30Oh, uh, uh, sorry, Melvin.
00:13:32I, um, I gotta go.
00:13:34Don't forget to stop, drop, and roll.
00:13:36Robert!
00:13:37What are you doing?
00:13:39Robert!
00:13:40Fire!
00:13:41Sam, what are you doing?
00:13:43Thank goodness you're here.
00:13:44I could use an extra set of hands.
00:13:46An extra set of hands?
00:13:47For what?
00:13:48Hey, why are you packing up my things?
00:13:50We're still employed for six more days.
00:13:53Robert, we gotta get out of here.
00:13:54Get out of here?
00:13:56Look, you were right.
00:13:58Kind of.
00:13:58We've gotta save the Sasquatch.
00:14:00What?
00:14:02Save the Sasquatch?
00:14:03Yeah, the Sasquatch?
00:14:05The one you showed me last night?
00:14:06We've gotta get him out of here before Alphazan starts tearing down the forest.
00:14:09Look.
00:14:11We're here, and we've gotta get Sasquatch here.
00:14:16Did you draw this map with barbecue sauce?
00:14:19Yes, Robert, I drew it with barbecue sauce.
00:14:21In case you forgot, I spent last night at Melvin's, and that man has zero pens.
00:14:24But he has an upsetting amount of barbecue sauce.
00:14:28For the mini corndogs?
00:14:29Yes, for the mini corndogs, and in case you were gonna ask, they're delicious.
00:14:33But that's not the point.
00:14:34Look, I've been doing a lot of research, and we need to take the Sasquatch to Olympic National Park.
00:14:39The state of Washington has more Sasquatch sightings per year than any other state.
00:14:43And sure, most of those are, you know, probably crazy people.
00:14:46But ours is real.
00:14:47So who's to say there isn't another one out there?
00:14:49And even if there isn't, then he's still got hundreds of miles of uninterrupted woodland
00:14:53where he can live and not be in fear of Alphazon tearing down the forest.
00:14:56Because if they do that, Robert, they're gonna capture him.
00:14:58They're gonna shackle him.
00:14:59They'll put him on a boat.
00:15:00They'll take him to New York.
00:15:01They're gonna put him on a stage.
00:15:02They'll charge people for tickets.
00:15:04He's gonna fall in love with a beautiful blonde who'll scale the Empire State.
00:15:06Wait, are you just describing the 1933 cinematic masterpiece King Kong?
00:15:12Yes, Robert, because that's exactly the situation we're dealing with.
00:15:17Whoa.
00:15:18Well, he is an animal in danger.
00:15:22Mm-hmm.
00:15:23And we are still technically park rangers for six more days.
00:15:27And as park rangers, it is our duty to protect and...
00:15:30Protect and serve all species of animals, especially those that are endangered or threatened.
00:15:35Exactly, Robert.
00:15:36Now go get the rest of your stuff.
00:15:37Now, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.
00:15:38Just because I feed him once a week doesn't mean he's gonna get in my van and travel with us
00:15:43across the country.
00:15:45Don't worry about it.
00:15:46I took care of him.
00:15:54How did...
00:15:55What did...
00:15:56Did you do the stick thing?
00:15:58Yeah, I did the stick thing.
00:15:59I did the candy bar thing.
00:16:00Look, enough with the questions.
00:16:01We just gotta get out of here before Melvin puts out that fire.
00:16:05It's okay, kids.
00:16:06I got this.
00:16:07I'll take care of it.
00:16:09Stop screaming, please.
00:16:10Stop screaming.
00:16:11Robert!
00:16:13Oh, I should probably help him.
00:16:15Robert, he's an animal in distress.
00:16:19All right.
00:16:21Saddle up, big boy.
00:16:24It's okay.
00:16:25It's okay.
00:16:27Stop screaming, please.
00:16:28Stop screaming, please.
00:16:30Robert!
00:16:38Huh.
00:16:40What?
00:16:41I've never left work early.
00:16:44Well, we're not really leaving work early.
00:16:47Just think of this as remote work.
00:16:48We're traveling across the country, working, all while saving this poor creature's life.
00:16:53I mean, look at him.
00:16:58Yeah.
00:16:59What's his name, anyways?
00:17:01His name?
00:17:02He doesn't have a name.
00:17:03Okay, yeah, sure.
00:17:04But, like, what do you call him?
00:17:06I don't call him anything, Sam.
00:17:08He's not my pet.
00:17:10He's a creature of the park, and in case you're wondering, I don't have a name for the birds and
00:17:14foxes, either.
00:17:15Okay, but do you have this whole ritual where you feed the birds and foxes of the park in secret
00:17:19every day?
00:17:20No.
00:17:20Besides, he's not in the park anymore.
00:17:23We've got to call him something.
00:17:24It's not like we can just point at things and say, here, Bigfoot, drink the water.
00:17:32That may have been my fault.
00:17:33May have been.
00:17:35That was definitely your fault.
00:17:37Yeah.
00:17:38But you do have a point.
00:17:39He does need a name.
00:17:41Do you have any suggestions?
00:17:43How about Squatch?
00:17:44First off, that's not a name.
00:17:46Secondly, he is a miracle.
00:17:49A magnificent and proud Sasquatch.
00:17:51Calling him Squatch would be an insult, and I won't stand for it.
00:17:55Okay.
00:17:56Ooh, how about Kevin?
00:17:57We are not calling him Kevin.
00:18:00Aw, come on.
00:18:00Kevin's a great name.
00:18:05Did he just...
00:18:06Yep, he just undid his seatbelt.
00:18:08He's gonna have to put that back on.
00:18:10Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:18:11Hey, buddy, you wanna put that back on for me?
00:18:17You're gonna have to help him.
00:18:19Yeah, yeah, I got it, I got it.
00:18:21Hey, hey.
00:18:24Oh, so now you're both unbuckled?
00:18:27My arms aren't long enough.
00:18:28I couldn't reach.
00:18:37Uh, Robert?
00:18:39Did you get it?
00:18:40Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:18:41I got it.
00:18:42It's just, um, we have a little bit of a problem.
00:18:45What?
00:18:45We are being pulled over.
00:18:47What?
00:18:47Just keep your cool, and everything's gonna be okay.
00:18:50Keep my cool?
00:18:51I've never been pulled over before.
00:18:53I...
00:18:54I knew this was a bad idea.
00:18:59Do not throw up in this van.
00:19:01I'm gonna...
00:19:02Do not throw up in this van.
00:19:04I'm gonna throw up.
00:19:05You are not throwing up.
00:19:06I'm gonna throw up.
00:19:07All right, fellas.
00:19:10License and proof of insurance, please.
00:19:28Do you boys have any idea why I pulled you over?
00:19:31Is it because we have a Sasquatch in the car?
00:19:34Robert.
00:19:36You got a tail light out.
00:19:39But, man, that is the coolest Sasquatch costume I have ever seen.
00:19:44Yes, a costume.
00:19:46It is a costume.
00:19:48Isn't that right, Robert?
00:19:49Huh?
00:19:50Oh, yeah, um, costume.
00:19:52Uh, are you sure I have a tail light out?
00:19:55I keep pretty up to date on my tail light, so...
00:19:58This would have had to have just happened.
00:20:01Listen, boys, forget about the tail light.
00:20:04My son has a birthday party in about an hour.
00:20:08He is the biggest Sasquatch fan on Earth.
00:20:10You guys come with me to the party, I'll forget about the ticket.
00:20:14Oh, uh, I don't know.
00:20:16You see, this isn't really part of our travel plans.
00:20:19We're trying to get to Tacoma.
00:20:21Travel plan?
00:20:22Robert, what are you talking about?
00:20:24This is the plan.
00:20:25He gives us a ticket this whole trip is over before it's even started.
00:20:30For the love of God.
00:20:33What's wrong with you, boy?
00:20:34I just find it so hard to believe that I have a tail light out.
00:20:38I'm completely baffled.
00:20:40Forget about this tail light.
00:20:43You come with me, there's no ticket.
00:20:45Listen.
00:20:47I'm serious, sir.
00:20:49If I show up with a Sasquatch, I might be Dad of the Year.
00:20:54Hell, I might even be Husband of the Year.
00:20:57Seriously.
00:20:58Come on.
00:21:02What's the address?
00:21:22Listen, I'm sorry.
00:21:23Seriously, Chip?
00:21:25Bigfoot?
00:21:26Baby, I thought it was a Bigfoot-themed party.
00:21:28No.
00:21:29Just, just no.
00:21:32Peter, your dad's kind of a loser.
00:21:36Yikes.
00:21:38I think we should leave.
00:21:40Yep.
00:21:45Now that was a total disaster.
00:21:47What are you talking about?
00:21:49We got all this free food, plus that cop didn't give us a ticket.
00:21:52I'd say that's a win.
00:21:55Sam.
00:21:57Look at him.
00:22:00What?
00:22:01If we're really gonna do this, he's gonna need a disguise.
00:22:07Yeah.
00:22:08I guess he does stand out a bit, doesn't he?
00:22:11Mm-hmm.
00:22:21Okay, here's the plan.
00:22:22I'm gonna go in first.
00:22:23You're gonna count to exactly 120, and then you're gonna come in.
00:22:26Got it?
00:22:27Got it.
00:22:28One, two, three, four...
00:22:33What?
00:22:34How's that?
00:22:34Four seconds!
00:22:35Don't start counting until I get inside.
00:22:38Okay?
00:22:39Okay.
00:22:50Showtime.
00:23:04Well, come on.
00:23:06Put him on.
00:23:11Obviously, we're gonna have to help him out.
00:23:12Well, that's ridiculous.
00:23:14How's that ridiculous, Robert?
00:23:15He's never put on pants before.
00:23:17How's he supposed to know how to put on pants?
00:23:18I don't know, Sam.
00:23:19I feel like I've just always known how to put on pants.
00:23:21You know, other than hats, they're the most intuitive piece of clothing there is.
00:23:25You just put them on one leg at a time.
00:23:27You start with the left.
00:23:28I know how to put on pants, Robert.
00:23:30I'm wearing pants right now.
00:23:31How's he supposed to know how to put on pants?
00:23:33He's never put on pants before.
00:23:34This may be the second time in his life he's ever seen a pair of pants.
00:23:37Who knows what's going through his mind right now?
00:23:39Look.
00:23:41Oh, my gosh.
00:23:42He's doing it.
00:23:43Come on.
00:23:44Start with the left leg.
00:23:49Incredible.
00:24:05No.
00:24:05No.
00:24:06No.
00:24:06No.
00:24:07No.
00:24:07No.
00:24:09I really like the way you dance.
00:24:10The way you move, the way you pant.
00:24:13The way you run your fingers to your hair.
00:24:17Now my hands are on hands.
00:24:19No.
00:24:20I can tell you like me by the way you dance.
00:24:25No.
00:24:26Absolutely not.
00:24:30But still no, right?
00:24:32Yeah.
00:24:34I think you know what you're doing there.
00:24:51Hey, what's going on?
00:24:52Stop.
00:24:54Robert, what's the date today?
00:24:56It's May 8th.
00:24:58Why?
00:24:59May 8th, 2026.
00:25:02The fifth greatest day of my life.
00:25:05It's perfect.
00:25:08I don't get it.
00:25:09Robert, this is a mint condition Ohio art company etch-a-sketch.
00:25:13You think I could just pass this thing up?
00:25:15You can etch a sketch, Robert.
00:25:18Okay.
00:25:20So what do you think?
00:25:21What do I think?
00:25:23I think the absolute elation and unbridled joy I'm feeling in this very moment
00:25:26is no less than a parent feels the very first time they hold their child.
00:25:29I think this might be the greatest place on earth.
00:25:33I think I'm going to cry.
00:25:35I don't care what it costs.
00:25:36I don't care what you think.
00:25:36I'm getting it.
00:25:38No, I mean about his outfit.
00:25:40I don't care what you think.
00:25:41I don't care what you think.
00:25:44I don't care what you think.
00:25:49I don't care what you think.
00:25:50I don't care what you think.
00:25:52I don't care what you think.
00:25:54I don't care what you think.
00:25:56I don't care what you think.
00:25:58I don't care what you think.
00:25:59I don't care what you think.
00:26:00I don't care what you think.
00:26:00I don't care what you think.
00:26:01I don't care what you think.
00:26:01I don't care what you think.
00:26:04I don't care what you think.
00:26:06I don't care what you think.
00:26:16Bulb was loose.
00:26:29Hello, officer. Is there something I can help you with?
00:26:33Yeah, does a Robert Fulton work here?
00:26:35Does he work here? This is practically his second home.
00:26:38He's my most reliable employee.
00:26:42Where did you get this? Is he okay?
00:26:45Yeah, I just pulled him over earlier. He probably just left it at the barbecue.
00:26:49Pulled over? Barbecue?
00:26:53This sounds very unlike Robert.
00:26:56Though, he did leave work early and I haven't seen him all day.
00:27:01When, um, when was this?
00:27:04Just about two hours ago.
00:27:06He was with some short guy.
00:27:08And another man in an amazing Sasquatch costume.
00:27:12Short guy.
00:27:14See him?
00:27:16Sasquatch costume.
00:27:19Are, uh, are you sure this is who you saw?
00:27:21Yes, sir. Pulled him over for a bum taillight.
00:27:24He was really shaken up about it.
00:27:26I mean, literally shaken.
00:27:29Well, that does sound like Robert.
00:27:30Chip, there's another fight going on at the bowling alley.
00:27:34Uh, copy that.
00:27:35I gotta be taken off.
00:27:37Wait.
00:27:37Did they see where they were going?
00:27:40Tacoma.
00:27:41Tacoma?
00:27:42Yeah.
00:27:46Wait.
00:27:48Did I have my gun with me when I came out?
00:27:50I don't know, but guns aren't allowed in the park.
00:27:55They are for me.
00:27:57I should be heading out.
00:28:12Mama.
00:28:14What?
00:28:14I'm just calling to tell you I'm not going to be home for dinner tonight.
00:28:18But, Rusty, it's back at G's night.
00:28:20I know, but I'm going to Washington.
00:28:23Washington?
00:28:24I'm going to find Bigfoot.
00:28:27Rusty, get your butt home.
00:28:29You shouldn't be driving my car.
00:28:32Yeah!
00:28:33Yeah!
00:28:35Woo!
00:28:38Finally!
00:28:57I love it here.
00:28:59Tennessee?
00:29:00No, Cracker Barrel.
00:29:01I love Cracker Barrel.
00:29:04I thought you said you'd never been here before.
00:29:06Oh, I haven't.
00:29:07This is my first time.
00:29:09I haven't even gone inside.
00:29:11I don't need to.
00:29:14Hey, uh, where's my guitar?
00:29:18Oh, uh, do you remember how when you asked me how I got Squatch in the van, I said I
00:29:22did
00:29:22the stick thing?
00:29:23Yeah.
00:29:23Well, I tried the stick thing, and I tried the candy bar thing, and that wasn't really
00:29:27working, so I used your guitar.
00:29:29Okay, but where is it?
00:29:31I don't see it.
00:29:37I don't see it.
00:29:39I don't see it.
00:29:54I don't see it.
00:30:07let's just say i owe you a guitar that was my grandpa's guitar he gave it to me for my
00:30:1210th
00:30:12birthday where is he he's dead what no squatch where'd he go
00:30:23i hear splashing
00:30:27well look he caught us a delicious bass i don't think that's for us
00:30:33sam how much do you think he weighs um i don't know 200 pounds 200 pounds you really think he
00:30:44only weighs 200 pounds well i don't know robert you can't really tell where the fur ends and the
00:30:49body begins a creature his size would need a minimum of 8 000 calories per day 250 we're
00:30:56gonna need a lot more food well luckily for him we happen to be spending the night outside of the
00:31:01most magical place on earth
00:31:14now that was incredible and the gift shop you didn't tell me they had a gift shop i completely
00:31:20forgot haven't been here since my eagle scout ceremony i didn't go to my eagle scout ceremony
00:31:26why not it's past my bedtime oh yeah bummer
00:31:49did he just throw his trash away yeah did you teach him that no
00:32:02what time is it it is 10 03 hmm i'm gonna go to bed and you should too
00:32:10got a long day of driving tomorrow yeah yeah yeah i'm uh i'm just gonna take this in a little
00:32:15bit longer goodnight goodnight
00:32:18goodnight
00:32:44goodnight
00:32:50goodnight
00:33:02goodnight
00:33:04goodnight
00:33:04goodnight
00:33:06goodnight
00:33:06goodnight
00:33:08goodnight
00:33:09goodnight
00:33:10goodnight
00:33:11goodnight
00:33:11goodnight
00:33:12goodnight
00:33:13goodnight
00:33:15goodnight
00:33:15goodnight
00:33:15goodnight
00:33:18Oh, my God. I'm going to find Bigfoot.
00:33:22I'm going to find Bigfoot.
00:33:24Hey!
00:33:27What are you doing, man?
00:33:29I'm going to find Bigfoot.
00:33:31Look, man, I can't have you in my parking lot licking mud off the ground.
00:33:35You're going to scare the customers.
00:33:37No worries, man. I was just leaving anyway.
00:33:59Sam, can you check over here for my phone?
00:34:03Uh, yeah, yeah.
00:34:07Um...
00:34:08Uh, I am not seeing it anywhere, man.
00:34:10Uh, what do you remember having it last?
00:34:12I'm trying to think.
00:34:14Oh, shoot.
00:34:15What?
00:34:16I had my ID and my phone when we got pulled over yesterday.
00:34:20I handed it to the officer because I had my insurance on it.
00:34:24I don't think he ever gave it back.
00:34:27Well, at least you have your debit card.
00:34:29Yeah, but I really shouldn't be driving without my license.
00:34:32What did you, uh, what did you need your phone for anyway?
00:34:35Did you need to make a call? I mean, you could use mine.
00:34:37I was going to feed my fish.
00:34:41Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:34:42Did you just say feed your fish?
00:34:44Oh, yeah.
00:34:45About a week ago, I fully automated my fish feeding, uh, process.
00:34:51Didn't know it'd come in so handy.
00:34:53Here, get your phone out.
00:34:55Okay.
00:34:58Dial this number.
00:35:04For security purposes, please press 11.
00:35:07Um, 11?
00:35:09Just press 1 twice.
00:35:11Well, duh, but why not just have it say press 1?
00:35:14It's for security purposes, Sam.
00:35:17I can't have robots hack this and compromise the process.
00:35:22And we'll be able to do this.
00:35:25Like a gun.
00:35:26Hold on.
00:35:27I'm gonnaăăăă!
00:35:31Um...
00:35:32Oh, uh.
00:35:34Uh-uh.
00:35:39Uh-uh.
00:35:40Uh-uh.
00:35:40Uh-uh.
00:35:41Uh-uh.
00:35:42Uh-uh.
00:35:44Uh-uh.
00:35:45Uh-uh.
00:35:47Uh-uh.
00:35:48Uh-uh.
00:35:50Uh-uh.
00:35:50Uh-uh.
00:35:51Uh-uh-uh.
00:36:03feeding complete feeding complete there he's fed
00:36:21I don't know what I'm gonna get yeah me either hi yeah I'll take four foot
00:36:28long chili cheese coneys two orders of fries and tots with the signature sauce
00:36:32one onion ring and three large cherry limeades that sounded good mm-hmm yeah
00:36:42welcome to Sonic my name is Jody what can I get for you today hi yeah um I would
00:36:47actually like to order uh the same thing as the person in the stall to my right
00:36:52you want exactly what they're getting uh yeah and um it was the foot long chili
00:36:58cheese four foot long chili cheese coneys two orders of fries tossed with the
00:37:01signature sauce one onion ring and three large cherry limeades yeah oh and can I
00:37:07also add one ham and cheese the other cars having mm-hmm a second ago you said you
00:37:11wanted the exact same order as the person listen uh Jody uh it's been a really
00:37:16long couple of days um and while I personally am loving the semantics lesson
00:37:21you were being so kind as to bestow upon us I'd love it even more if you would
00:37:24just be cool and let us add to the order sorry go ahead thanks uh yeah uh I'll add
00:37:32one ham and cheese make that three grilled ham and cheese sandwiches mm that'll be
00:37:37four to eight sixty seven we'll have it right out I remember my first onion ring
00:37:53wow she really meant right out huh yeah oh man he must be new
00:38:03no Robert check on him oh uh are you okay sir oh my elbow oh
00:38:13did you just hit him again I didn't hit him the first time but but yes I did hit him
00:38:19the
00:38:19second time oh I am so sorry please help me sir oh can you call my parents
00:38:32no Robert welcome to Sonic my name is Jody what can I get for you today hi yeah me
00:38:40me again
00:39:06Oh, man.
00:39:10Robert, what do you need?
00:39:12Take the wheel!
00:39:14My God, Robert.
00:39:22Ten and two.
00:39:23What?
00:39:24Put your hands in the ten and two position.
00:39:27You know, actually, Robert, newer studies have found that nine and three is the optimal placement for hands while driving.
00:39:32Not just for improved accuracy and dexterity, but also to help prevent injury in the case of an automobile accident.
00:39:38Really?
00:39:39Mm-hmm.
00:39:40I had not heard that.
00:39:41I'm surprised I usually keep up on all the safety protocols.
00:39:45You know what?
00:39:46Don't beat yourself up about it.
00:39:47You've got a lot going on, but with your robot fish feeding...
00:39:51Process.
00:39:52Process, and the whole park closing and all, and the whole Sasquatch thing, and, you know, you've just got a
00:39:57lot on your plate right now.
00:39:58Who knows, in a year or two, you'll...
00:39:59Eyes on the road!
00:40:01Right, right.
00:40:01You're gonna kill us all!
00:40:03Sorry, sorry.
00:40:04Oh.
00:40:05My bad, man.
00:40:08Sorry.
00:40:17Robert.
00:40:22My god.
00:40:27He's an artist.
00:40:29You're supposed to love me for this.
00:40:31And if you're struggling today, I'm supposed to be under mine.
00:40:37I'm supposed to be under mine.
00:40:40And if you want to care, you better try today.
00:40:47I'm supposed to be under mine.
00:40:49I'm supposed to be under mine.
00:41:17I won't hang.
00:41:19Isn't it magnificent.
00:41:27Well...
00:41:28Here for long...
00:41:31You better do what you want before I'm gone.
00:41:38You look a mess.
00:41:40I take the blame.
00:41:44You gave it all, and I gave you the same.
00:41:50I got some plans
00:41:53That is the truth
00:41:55And I bet it ain't too hard to guess
00:41:58What I'm gonna do to you
00:42:00You know all that you wanted was this
00:42:03And any of you said it's left
00:42:06To pull them into mine
00:42:09Pull them into mine
00:42:12And if you wanna guess
00:42:15The big list of giants
00:42:18I pull you into mine
00:42:23I pull you into mine
00:42:26I pull you into mine
00:42:28I pull you into mine
00:42:29I pull you into mine
00:42:52Nah doll we're good
00:42:53We're in
00:42:54I don't know
00:42:55We're in
00:42:56Kansas
00:42:57Or I don't know
00:42:58Wyoming
00:42:58Something
00:43:05No no
00:43:06He's doing good
00:43:07I'm really surprised by it
00:43:09You know he's eating all his vegetables
00:43:11Cutting up his own hot dogs
00:43:12Couldn't be more proud
00:43:26Sam
00:43:27Huh
00:43:29Little help here
00:43:30Geez yeah
00:43:32Hey I gotta go
00:43:33Oh my gosh Robert
00:43:34What is going on
00:43:35I don't know
00:43:36I can't get it to stop
00:43:38Oh sorry
00:43:39You see what I'm talking about
00:43:41It's just
00:43:42A steady stream
00:43:43Good heavens
00:43:45I don't know what I'm dealing with here
00:43:49Emergency shut off button
00:43:52Oh yeah
00:43:54The button
00:43:57Kind of forgot about the button
00:44:22Kind of forgot about the button
00:44:23Well that wasn't so good
00:44:24No
00:44:25Look all
00:44:26No
00:44:27But what if we
00:44:28No
00:44:28All I'm saying is that
00:44:29Sam
00:44:30But I mean
00:44:31Sam
00:44:32I think it's best
00:44:33If we never
00:44:36Speak of this again
00:44:37But what if we
00:44:38Fur ever
00:44:41That's fair
00:44:42I've noticed in my thermal imagers
00:44:53Just the sheer girth
00:44:55Like broad broad broad broad shoulders
00:44:59Whether or not it was mostly the fur
00:45:04That's hard to say
00:45:06Hey Robert
00:45:07I'm gonna go see if they have an ice machine
00:45:09Okay
00:45:09Okay
00:45:12I'll be right back
00:45:13Hold down the fort
00:45:15No you can't come
00:45:17You don't have any pants on
00:45:24But it hung down like a leather fringe jacket
00:45:29With long long hair on
00:45:32I'm telling you
00:45:34This thing was a big boy
00:45:36With black fur
00:45:39With little parts almost
00:45:43Sam
00:45:44Are you there?
00:45:46Kind of a maple
00:45:46Oh Sam
00:45:49You sound terrible
00:45:50What's wrong?
00:45:56Everything okay out there?
00:45:58Robert?
00:46:00Was that you?
00:46:01Was that Robert?
00:46:05Oh Sam
00:46:06You sound terrible
00:46:08You know what?
00:46:10You guys just take it easy
00:46:12And we'll talk tomorrow
00:46:13Okay?
00:46:19Melvin
00:46:20Back to work buddy
00:46:22Chop chop
00:46:23Where are your boy scouts?
00:46:27Yep
00:46:28They had ice
00:46:30I knew it
00:46:34What do you need ice for?
00:46:36Emergencies
00:46:37Wait
00:46:38Is there an emergency?
00:46:39No
00:46:39No
00:46:39No
00:46:40But there might be
00:46:42Why would there be an emergency?
00:46:44There won't be
00:46:45There won't be
00:46:46But if there is
00:46:47We'll be prepared
00:46:50I froze at first
00:46:52When I saw him
00:46:53But then
00:46:54You know
00:46:55I turned
00:46:55And started slinking up
00:46:57The trail after
00:47:08There we go
00:47:19Good morning
00:47:20Good morning
00:47:22How was your stay?
00:47:23Oh
00:47:23It was quite nice
00:47:24Thank you
00:47:25Plus
00:47:26Really can't beat that view
00:47:28Oh well well
00:47:29Did you just come all this way
00:47:30Just to check me out?
00:47:33Uh
00:47:34This is
00:47:34Where I check out
00:47:36Isn't it?
00:47:36I sure hope so
00:47:38Did you enjoy the beds?
00:47:39They're brand new
00:47:40I haven't even gotten to properly break one in yet
00:47:44Oh
00:47:45Well uh
00:47:46Maybe next time
00:47:48We'll break one in for you
00:47:50That sounds
00:47:51Wait
00:47:52We?
00:47:54Hey
00:47:54Got everything loaded up
00:47:55Are we ready to roll?
00:47:58Hi there
00:48:04Anything changes
00:48:05Give me a call
00:48:06Okay?
00:48:08Oh
00:48:12Don't you worry
00:48:13I'll make sure to call
00:48:15If there's anything that I need
00:48:17Or want
00:48:19But I won't be needing this
00:48:21Because I have this
00:48:21Motel chain's phone number
00:48:23Memorized
00:48:26Recycle it
00:48:35Robert
00:48:36What?
00:48:38Nothing
00:48:59She was cute
00:49:01Yeah
00:49:01Yeah
00:49:02She was
00:49:04You get that she was flirting with you, right?
00:49:06What?
00:49:08No
00:49:09She was just being friendly
00:49:10I'm sorry
00:49:11My mistake
00:49:12Does every friendly woman you know give you their phone number?
00:49:15Well I
00:49:17Well if she was so cute
00:49:19Why didn't you give her your number?
00:49:20Two reasons Robert
00:49:21Number one
00:49:22Bro code
00:49:23I understand this may be a new concept for you
00:49:25So let me explain
00:49:25Robert
00:49:26You and I
00:49:27Are bros
00:49:28When a woman
00:49:28Is flirting with one bro
00:49:30Regardless of how cute she is
00:49:32The other bro
00:49:32Does not flirt with her
00:49:34And number two
00:49:35And more importantly
00:49:36I'm married
00:49:38Sam
00:49:39You're not married
00:49:41Yeah
00:49:41I tell you this all the time
00:49:43I'm sorry
00:49:44I guess I just thought you were doing that
00:49:46Dated
00:49:47And quite frankly
00:49:48Not very funny
00:49:49Borat impression
00:49:50Dated?
00:49:51Borat is a classic
00:49:52It's always funny
00:49:54My wife
00:49:55I stand by what I said
00:49:57It's not about the Borat thing
00:49:59Well not just about the Borat thing
00:50:03I'm genuinely sorry
00:50:04Look it's fine
00:50:06I get it
00:50:07When we're at work
00:50:08We kind of just talk about work
00:50:09And when we're bowling
00:50:10We just talk about bowling
00:50:12Look
00:50:14Here
00:50:16Oh Sam
00:50:17That's my nod
00:50:19She's beautiful
00:50:22Wait is
00:50:23Is this a mugshot?
00:50:25Look Sam
00:50:26Do you have a prison wife?
00:50:27County jail
00:50:28She's in county jail
00:50:29And she's gonna be out
00:50:30In six to eight months
00:50:32Pending good behavior
00:50:34And a lenient judge
00:50:37Hey do you see that?
00:50:40It's a person
00:50:42Well yeah
00:50:43But what's he doing?
00:50:45I don't know
00:50:45Is that a shovel?
00:50:47Yep
00:50:48It's a shovel
00:50:49Oh great
00:50:50He wants a ride
00:50:51And we're gonna give it to him
00:51:02Hey what's up?
00:51:05Hey thanks for the ride
00:51:08No problem
00:51:09Happy to help
00:51:12Where are you headed?
00:51:13Um
00:51:14West
00:51:15As far as you can take me
00:51:16My friend
00:51:18You are in luck
00:51:19We are headed all the way west
00:51:26Name's Robert by the way
00:51:28Uh
00:51:29Robert Fulton
00:51:30And no
00:51:31Not the
00:51:31Robert Fulton
00:51:34You know
00:51:35Robert Fulton
00:51:36Popularized the steamboat
00:51:38Commissioned in
00:51:401800
00:51:41By
00:51:41Napoleon
00:51:43To invent the Nautilus
00:51:44The world's most practical submarine
00:51:49Not even you Sam
00:51:52Wow
00:51:52Well
00:51:54My co-pilot here is
00:51:56One Mr. Samuel Clemens
00:51:58Oh
00:51:58Like Mark Twain?
00:52:00Yup
00:52:03So what's your name friend?
00:52:06Uh
00:52:06Joe
00:52:07Joe
00:52:08Oh
00:52:09Good name
00:52:11Great name
00:52:14Oh
00:52:15I never forget a name Joe
00:52:19And I never
00:52:20Forget a face
00:52:26So to what divine happenstance
00:52:29Do we owe your
00:52:30Very unexpected
00:52:31But very
00:52:32Welcome
00:52:33Company this morning Joe
00:52:35Uh
00:52:36My truck broke down
00:52:37Ha
00:52:38I knew it
00:52:39A fellow traveler of the road
00:52:43Westward bound
00:52:44And broken down
00:52:46The American dream
00:52:48Uh
00:52:49What's with the shovel
00:52:51Uh
00:52:52Uh
00:52:52I dig
00:52:53Ha
00:52:54See Sam
00:52:55Salt of the earth
00:52:57A digging man
00:52:58Had I not found the National Park Services
00:53:01I too may have become a digging man
00:53:03Working with my hands
00:53:05Getting
00:53:07Cuts on my arms
00:53:11Uh
00:53:11Get lots of
00:53:13Cuts
00:53:13Digging
00:53:14Joe
00:53:16Uh
00:53:17Uh
00:53:17It was my cat
00:53:20Hey
00:53:20Hey
00:53:21Could you crack a window
00:53:22It's getting a bit hot back here
00:53:23No problem
00:53:27Robert
00:53:29Was that a phone
00:53:35You cannot be throwing things out like that
00:53:38I could be ticketed
00:53:40Not to mention that is not how you properly dispose
00:53:42Of a lithium ion battery
00:53:58Is he taking his clothes off
00:54:00Uh
00:54:01Yep
00:54:01He's taking them off
00:54:02Oh
00:54:03And he goes down
00:54:04Oh and he's back up
00:54:05God he's fast
00:54:07And he's down again
00:54:08Oh man
00:54:11I thought he needed a ride
00:54:13Does he look like he still needs a ride
00:54:19Forgot his shovel
00:54:20What's a digging man without his shovel
00:54:33Oh no wait now I've touched it
00:54:36Robert it's coming with us
00:54:37What
00:54:37What if he comes back for it
00:54:39You think a naked man
00:54:41Who just sprinted away from his shovel
00:54:42Is coming back for it
00:54:43Also
00:54:43What the hell was all
00:54:45Hey
00:54:47Do not swear
00:54:48Where the Sasquatch can hear you
00:54:50Get back in the van Robert
00:55:16Hello
00:55:17Well you sound much better mister
00:55:20Nope
00:55:24Uh
00:55:27Hello
00:55:28Hello Robert
00:55:29Is everything okay
00:55:30Are you coming into work today
00:55:32I need you guys to help finish clearing the trees
00:55:34He's at the south entrance to the park
00:55:36Alphazon needs an access road there
00:55:38By the end of the week
00:55:39No
00:55:42No Melvin
00:55:43Um
00:55:43We're not coming back to work
00:55:47No
00:55:49What do you mean no
00:55:50I mean we're not coming in
00:55:51I mean we're not coming in
00:55:52Well if you guys still aren't feeling well
00:55:54We can probably push that to first thing tomorrow
00:55:56That should be fine
00:55:57Uh no
00:55:58Um
00:55:59I'm sorry Melvin
00:56:00I
00:56:00Maybe I misspoke
00:56:03We're not coming back to work
00:56:05Not today
00:56:07Not ever
00:56:08What do you mean not ever
00:56:10We still have work to do
00:56:11I need you
00:56:13You have to come back
00:56:14Melvin
00:56:15I'm doing the most important work I've ever done in my whole life
00:56:20I'm doing real good
00:56:23Actual good
00:56:24Um
00:56:24Something that matters
00:56:26Something that makes a difference
00:56:30Something you wouldn't understand
00:56:32So
00:56:33No
00:56:33Melvin
00:56:34I'm sorry
00:56:35But
00:56:35I won't have any part in tearing down the only thing I ever loved
00:56:40Robert
00:56:42If you don't come back
00:56:43You'll
00:56:44You'll lose your severance
00:56:46You won't see a dying
00:56:48It's not my call
00:56:49I'm part of the system
00:56:51Same as you
00:56:53It's
00:56:54It's just how these things work
00:56:56You have to come back
00:56:58I don't care
00:57:00Whatever it is tell them I don't care either
00:57:02And neither does Sam
00:57:05Goodbye Melvin
00:57:14That was awesome
00:57:21That was not
00:57:36Hold on to that for a second
00:57:50So
00:57:52What's wrong with it?
00:57:53I'm not entirely sure
00:57:54We definitely need a new fuel line
00:57:57Possibly even a new pump
00:57:59This isn't good Sam
00:58:00I don't even know where we are
00:58:20Grandma?
00:58:24Robert?
00:58:25What?
00:58:26Rob?
00:58:27Well
00:58:33What are you doing here?
00:58:35What am I doing here?
00:58:37I live here
00:58:38What are you doing here?
00:58:39I didn't know you were out in Idaho
00:58:41Well I
00:58:42I'm on a work trip
00:58:44We're broken down
00:58:46You don't say
00:58:48I mean
00:58:49Here I was
00:58:50Coming home from bingo
00:58:52And what do I run into?
00:58:54Five poor souls on the side of the road?
00:58:57Figure I better stop
00:58:58See if I can help
00:58:59And one of them
00:59:00Is my grandson
00:59:03What are the chances?
00:59:06Did you say
00:59:06Five poor souls?
00:59:09Grandma
00:59:10Should you be driving?
00:59:12I thought they revoked your license years ago
00:59:14Oh kiddo
00:59:15What Johnny Law don't know
00:59:18Can't hurt him
00:59:23Grandma
00:59:24Um
00:59:24Grandma
00:59:25Your car's over here
00:59:27Oh
00:59:29Silly me
00:59:30You fellas coming or not
01:00:00So
01:00:01Grandma
01:00:02Where's Land Biscuit?
01:00:04She usually runs next to the car
01:00:06As we pull in the driveway
01:00:08Oh
01:00:08You know what
01:00:09Crazy thing
01:00:11A few weeks ago
01:00:13We had a
01:00:14Kind of
01:00:14Electrical storm
01:00:16Must have spooked
01:00:18The poor thing
01:00:19And she ran off
01:00:20She's gone?
01:00:22No
01:00:22No
01:00:22Not gone
01:00:24Just
01:00:25Not here
01:00:27Huh
01:00:30That's your 10th birthday
01:00:32Remember when Grandpa
01:00:34Gave you that guitar
01:00:35Oh yeah
01:00:37I remember
01:00:39Yes
01:00:47Well
01:00:49You boys must be starving
01:00:52Let's eat
01:00:57You know I'm looking at you
01:00:58Yep
01:01:05So Robbie
01:01:07I of course know who Sam is
01:01:10But
01:01:11You haven't introduced me to your other friend here
01:01:17What's his name?
01:01:19Oh
01:01:20Uh
01:01:22It's
01:01:24Um
01:01:24Um
01:01:27Um
01:01:28Do it
01:01:29Do it
01:01:32Yes
01:01:32Oh
01:01:32I absolutely love the name Calvin
01:01:36So many strong men named Calvin
01:01:38No Grandma Kevin
01:01:40Calvin Borrell
01:01:41American horse jockey
01:01:43Calvin Coolidge
01:01:45Our greatest president
01:01:47Snoop Dogg
01:01:48Oh
01:01:49And that handsome Brit
01:01:51Who played Superman
01:01:53Oh
01:01:54I'm pretty sure the guy who played Superman's name is Henry Cavill
01:01:58Oh
01:02:00Indeed
01:02:02So
01:02:04What's the plan for the van?
01:02:06I don't know
01:02:07We're gonna need some cash
01:02:08Why would we need cash?
01:02:11Well
01:02:11There was the gas
01:02:13And the food
01:02:14And the $400 hotel
01:02:17I'm so sorry
01:02:18Did you just say $400?
01:02:20Yeah
01:02:21Well
01:02:22Robert
01:02:22It was a two-star roadside motel
01:02:25Did they really charge you $400?
01:02:27Well
01:02:27It was more like $430 after tax
01:02:30Well
01:02:30I thought it was steep too
01:02:31But
01:02:32When I was checking out
01:02:33The lady had mentioned something about just replacing the beds
01:02:35And
01:02:36I wasn't gonna argue with her
01:02:40Calvin
01:02:41Are you okay?
01:02:43Oh
01:02:43Oh
01:02:43Yes
01:02:44He's fine
01:02:45He probably just needs some more water
01:02:47Will you excuse me
01:02:48Ma'am
01:02:48I've gotta take this
01:02:50Oh
01:02:50Of course
01:02:50Sure
01:02:51Hello
01:02:54Here you go bud
01:02:56Oh Rob
01:02:57If you're needing some money
01:02:59You can always go work for a day
01:03:02At Leonard Jones's potato farm
01:03:04I can drive you up there
01:03:05If you like
01:03:07Oh
01:03:08Oh
01:03:09Oh
01:03:09Oh
01:03:10Oh
01:03:10Oh
01:03:13Please
01:03:13No
01:03:14I mean
01:03:15No
01:03:16That won't be necessary
01:03:17No need for you to drive us around all day
01:03:20But thank you
01:03:20Besides
01:03:21Isn't Leonard Jones the guy who got in all that trouble for hunting people in his helicopter
01:03:27Hunting in a helicopter
01:03:29Hunting in a helicopter
01:03:29Yes
01:03:30But
01:03:31He's out of jail now
01:03:34I'll think about it
01:03:36I can give him a call if you like
01:03:38Just say the word
01:03:40I got it
01:03:41Got what
01:03:41I got us a job
01:03:43I got us a job
01:03:43Where
01:03:44How
01:03:44I just got off the phone with Nadia
01:03:46She said her cellmate has family up here and they own a firework stand
01:03:49Said we can work there tomorrow
01:03:50Did you say cellmate?
01:03:53Oh
01:03:53He has a prison wife
01:03:55Oh
01:03:57How lovely Sam
01:03:59I'm so happy for you
01:04:01Yeah yeah
01:04:01Thank you ma'am
01:04:02But really
01:04:02She's just a regular wife
01:04:03I mean yes
01:04:04She just happened to be in jail right now
01:04:05But that doesn't really matter
01:04:06Look
01:04:07Where are we?
01:04:09I don't know
01:04:10Uh
01:04:11No no no
01:04:12What town are we in?
01:04:14Oh
01:04:14Jerome
01:04:15Jerome Idaho
01:04:17Okay
01:04:17And is that close to Fairfield?
01:04:20Um
01:04:20Fairfield is just about an hour north of here
01:04:22I could drive you there
01:04:23Oh god
01:04:24Please no
01:04:24No no no no
01:04:26No need to worry yourself with all that
01:04:29No we can do that
01:04:30But that's
01:04:30That's gonna be perfect
01:04:31We're just gonna do that
01:04:32Let's just plan on that
01:04:33Oh
01:04:33Sam
01:04:37What?
01:04:39Fireworks?
01:04:39I don't know anything about fireworks
01:04:41Robert
01:04:42We're not making fireworks
01:04:44We just gotta sell them
01:04:45Yeah
01:04:45But I've never worked retail
01:04:47What if I don't possess the skill?
01:04:50It's a fireworks stand
01:04:51In May
01:04:52I'm surprised that thing's even open
01:04:53I doubt anybody shows up
01:04:55Let alone that we are put in a position
01:04:56Where you
01:04:57Are required to make a sale
01:04:59Okay
01:05:00But
01:05:00What about
01:05:05Fair point
01:05:08Hey grandma
01:05:09Um
01:05:10Tomorrow
01:05:11Uh
01:05:11When Sam and I are gone
01:05:13Is it okay
01:05:14If um
01:05:15Kevin
01:05:16Um
01:05:17Stays back
01:05:18And gets some rest?
01:05:19Oh
01:05:20Is he not feeling well?
01:05:23No
01:05:24No
01:05:24He's fine
01:05:25I think he's just a little tired from the traveling
01:05:28Oh well then
01:05:29He can absolutely stay here
01:05:32I'll be sure to take good care of him
01:05:37Everything okay?
01:05:39Oh yes
01:05:40He's
01:05:42He's
01:05:45He's just so strong
01:06:07He's just so strong
01:06:15Sam
01:06:16Sam
01:06:16When you're right
01:06:17You're right
01:06:18We've been sitting here for two and a half hours
01:06:20And not a single soul has even stopped
01:06:23Let alone bought anything
01:06:25Frankly I'm a little embarrassed
01:06:27I was so nervous before
01:06:28I'm sure if someone did stop by
01:06:30I'd be fine
01:06:31I'd do totally
01:06:41Oh
01:06:41I'm gonna throw up
01:06:42For the love of God Robert
01:06:45It's one guy
01:06:45You're gonna be fine
01:06:51Oh
01:06:55That's a big guy
01:06:58I think that's Peter Mayhew
01:07:00I thought Peter Mayhew died
01:07:02Uh
01:07:03Hi
01:07:03Um
01:07:04Welcome to
01:07:05Uh
01:07:07Bolshoi bum fireworks
01:07:09How can we help you today?
01:07:13Um
01:07:13Sir
01:07:14Uh
01:07:15You
01:07:15You really shouldn't be smoking here
01:07:18What?
01:07:19I
01:07:19Um
01:07:20You really shouldn't be smoking
01:07:22This close to the
01:07:24The fireworks
01:07:25It's a
01:07:26Safety hazard
01:07:27For reasons I assumed would be obvious
01:07:30The weather in Prague is cold
01:07:35Uh
01:07:37I'm sorry sir
01:07:38What?
01:07:40I said
01:07:41The weather
01:07:42In Prague
01:07:44Is cold
01:07:47Oh
01:07:48What?
01:07:49Sir
01:07:49While I have not been to Prague
01:07:52I have it under very good authority
01:07:54Uh
01:07:54That authority being
01:07:56The weather channel
01:07:57That it is currently
01:07:58Fairly temperate
01:07:59And uh
01:08:00Quite nice
01:08:02In the Czech Republic
01:08:02This time of year
01:08:03But it's sunny in Berlin
01:08:05No
01:08:07You have package for Luca?
01:08:10Uh
01:08:11No no
01:08:12Other side
01:08:17Um
01:08:19Uh
01:08:20Is
01:08:21This
01:08:22For Luca?
01:08:24Oh
01:08:24Oh
01:08:31Um
01:08:33Uh
01:08:34Sir
01:08:34I must really insist
01:08:36That you put that cigarette out
01:08:37Oh
01:08:40But I am not done
01:08:42He is not done
01:08:47It's perfect
01:08:48Tell Igor Luca sends his regards
01:08:56Did he just hit you with a cigarette?
01:08:59Yeah
01:09:00Huh
01:09:14Um
01:09:15Did we just get robbed?
01:09:17Wait
01:09:18Was that dynamite?
01:09:20Are we gonna get in trouble?
01:09:30That's retail
01:09:57Hey, Grandma!
01:10:01Hey, Robbie, dear.
01:10:02How did everything go today?
01:10:04How'd it go?
01:10:06Look at him.
01:10:08Figured you would have slept in all day, you know?
01:10:12Get some rest?
01:10:14Gosh, no.
01:10:15We have had a very full afternoon.
01:10:19Full how?
01:10:21Well, first, I started by making him breakfast in bed.
01:10:26He loved every bite.
01:10:28After that, we did a one-hour guided meditation by the pond, followed by a foot massage from yours truly.
01:10:37What a big foot!
01:10:40And then we ended the afternoon with a short Tai Chi session, some herbal tea, and an exfoliating facial treatment.
01:10:51Wow.
01:10:53Well, sounds like you guys had a great day.
01:10:57Even though he doesn't talk much, I'm sure he really appreciated it.
01:11:01Oh, what do you mean he doesn't talk much?
01:11:04I couldn't get him to stop talking.
01:11:07He has quite the vocabulary.
01:11:26Oh, you're my man, Calvin.
01:11:41Well, everything's loaded up.
01:11:44We better get going so we can put the new part in while the sun's still out.
01:11:47Oh, before I take you guys, I wanted to give you this.
01:11:54Grandma, what is this?
01:11:57Oh, just a little something for the road.
01:12:00A little something?
01:12:02There's got to be $10,000 here.
01:12:04Right around there, yeah.
01:12:06Been meaning to give it to you since you got here.
01:12:09Figured you could use it to fix your van.
01:12:13But we worked at that firework stand.
01:12:15Oh, oh yes, dear.
01:12:18How was that?
01:12:19I'm fairly certain we were parties to a crime.
01:12:22Oh, parties are just the best, aren't they?
01:12:25What? No, no, I mean, if you're going to give me $10,000,
01:12:30why didn't you do it before we worked at some Russian mob-backed firework stand?
01:12:36I forgot.
01:12:39Where did you even get $10,000?
01:12:43In the walls.
01:12:49Hey, uh, thanks for the brownies.
01:12:53That's what's up.
01:12:54You are most welcome, Sam.
01:12:58Grandma, this is too much.
01:13:01That is not your decision to make, young man.
01:13:05I love you.
01:13:07And I want you to have it.
01:13:30Where am I?
01:13:31Uh, you appear to be in a Hyundai, sir.
01:13:33That is not what he means.
01:13:35I need to be in Abbotsford.
01:13:38Abbotsford?
01:13:39Abbotsford, British Columbia?
01:13:42Abbotsford!
01:13:43Okay, so what you're gonna want to do is start heading this direction
01:13:47and follow I-84 West to W-814 West in Plymouth for exactly 373 miles,
01:13:54and then take exit 131 from I-82 West.
01:13:57Once you're on I-82 West and Crosser from South Plymouth Road,
01:14:01you'll go 38 and a half miles until you hit Sellards Road and W-A-221 North.
01:14:06Now, don't get lost and go past there.
01:14:08You'll end up on Mount Adams.
01:14:09Next, follow I-82 West, take I-90 West and I-5 North to W-A-542 East Sunset Drive
01:14:16in Bellingham.
01:14:17Now, this is a big 274-mile stint, so definitely pull over if you need a quick nap.
01:14:23Take Everson-Goshen Road, W-A-544 East, W-A-9 North, and Riverside Road to South Grazier Way,
01:14:29and then you, my friend, will be in Abbotsford.
01:14:33Yeah, yeah.
01:14:34That's what I got, too.
01:14:47Where am I?
01:14:52Hey, uh, did you see where Big Guy went?
01:14:55Maybe he's peeing before we hit the road.
01:14:59Yeah, maybe.
01:15:09Sam?
01:15:11Yeah, what's up?
01:15:12Did you put this on here?
01:15:14No.
01:15:15What even is that thing?
01:15:17I don't know.
01:15:23Kevin!
01:15:30Whoa!
01:15:31Whoa!
01:15:33My God, you guys are here.
01:15:35I called for your Bigfoot, and he came!
01:15:38Then he pulled out a gun!
01:15:40Look, I put my hands up in the air, like they do in the movies!
01:15:43And I spoke to him real gentle, and he handed it to me, and I started taking the bullets out,
01:15:51like, you know, like they do in the movies, and bam, it went off, and...
01:15:55Oh, jeez.
01:15:55I think I shot a tree over there, but I can't seem to let it go.
01:16:00Okay, fella.
01:16:02There, there.
01:16:03Now, I got that.
01:16:06Whew, thank you.
01:16:07Yeah.
01:16:09You have no idea how long I've waited for this moment.
01:16:27Oh, uh, hey.
01:16:29Does anybody want a brownie?
01:16:31Oh, yes, please.
01:16:34Um, Rusty?
01:16:36Oh, no thanks.
01:16:37I'm good.
01:16:41Hey.
01:16:43Is this yours?
01:16:45Yeah.
01:16:45Uh, what is it?
01:16:47It's a tracking device.
01:16:48Why are you tracking us?
01:16:52When I was a kid, my family went to the park.
01:16:56It was a tradition.
01:16:57We'd come and walk the trails and talk to the rangers, and look at the wildlife.
01:17:01As a family.
01:17:02This one particular day, though, I felt like I was old enough to go off on my own.
01:17:06I thought I knew the park pretty well.
01:17:08So I snuck off the trail my family was walking down and wandered into the woods.
01:17:13At first, it was fun.
01:17:15Then it was scary.
01:17:16I'd gotten lost.
01:17:18I can't remember how long I was lost for.
01:17:21And I started to cry.
01:17:22And not too long after that, I heard footsteps.
01:17:24And I thought it might be my father, so I shouted.
01:17:27The footsteps grew louder.
01:17:29Just then, there was this loud crack.
01:17:31I froze and squeezed my eyes shut.
01:17:34When I opened him, there he was.
01:17:36Holding up a tree that had fallen.
01:17:38It would have crushed me.
01:17:39But he caught it.
01:17:41I was mesmerized.
01:17:42He was so big.
01:17:44I was also so scared.
01:17:46I mean, he was so big.
01:17:49And I took a couple steps backwards and tripped and fell.
01:17:53He put the tree down and came towards me, but I got up and ran.
01:17:56And when I finally found my family, I tried bringing them back to where he was.
01:18:00But he was gone.
01:18:02They didn't believe me.
01:18:03We stopped going to the park after that.
01:18:06I guess I'd worry them too much.
01:18:08But I'd sneak off and bring my friends.
01:18:10Every chance I got, I'd bring them.
01:18:12But we never found him.
01:18:13And after a while, they stopped believing me, too.
01:18:16They didn't want to hang out with me anymore.
01:18:18No one wanted to hang out with the liar.
01:18:21Not even my family.
01:18:23So when I turned 18, I moved away.
01:18:25And I stayed away.
01:18:26Then I met a girl.
01:18:28And we got married.
01:18:29Then one day, I told her about it.
01:18:31At first, she thought I was messing with her.
01:18:33But I convinced her to let me take her there.
01:18:35And we came.
01:18:36And we couldn't find him.
01:18:38But we tried.
01:18:39Again and again.
01:18:41Until one day, she asked me to stop.
01:18:43Because she didn't believe me.
01:18:45But I couldn't stop.
01:18:46So she left.
01:18:48And then I quit looking.
01:18:50It was too late.
01:18:52She wasn't coming back.
01:18:53But I was done.
01:18:55I finally realized that I must have imagined the whole thing.
01:18:58So I had a job.
01:18:59And I stuck with it.
01:19:01And I put it behind me.
01:19:02And sure, it took a while.
01:19:04But I was pretty happy.
01:19:05At least.
01:19:06Content.
01:19:07Then one day, I'm at the bar.
01:19:09After work.
01:19:10Two park rangers come in talking about a Sasquatch.
01:19:14And here we are.
01:19:16And here you are.
01:19:18I just needed to know.
01:19:20I needed to know that you were real.
01:19:22And I'm not crazy.
01:19:25And thank you for saving my life.
01:19:29Whoop.
01:19:30Better get going.
01:19:31Uh, what?
01:19:32Why?
01:19:33You're really just going to turn around and go home?
01:19:36Well, yeah.
01:19:37I did everything I came here to do.
01:19:39Besides, if I leave now, I can get home right before Taco Tuesday.
01:19:46Well, if you have a few minutes, we could light off these fireworks.
01:19:51Robert, I didn't see you pay for any fireworks.
01:19:55That's retail.
01:19:57Ah.
01:20:37Oh, my God.
01:20:57No one's ever going to believe you.
01:21:02I'm definitely going to miss Taco Tuesday.
01:21:15Was that a horse?
01:21:17Land Biscuit?
01:21:22Hey, do you guys feel weird?
01:21:25Yeah, man.
01:21:26I think we're high.
01:21:28High?
01:21:30Why would we be high?
01:21:31I can't be high.
01:21:33Oh, your grandma's brownies.
01:21:37Well, she said her neighbor makes it for her.
01:21:40Helps her with her glaucoma.
01:21:43Chocolate's good for your eyes.
01:21:47That's carrots, man.
01:21:49Carrots are good for your eyes.
01:21:51Chocolate is good for your soul.
01:21:55Oh.
01:21:57That's deep.
01:21:58Yeah, man.
01:22:19We in Washington already?
01:22:22Oh, yeah.
01:22:23We crossed state line a couple hours ago.
01:22:26I didn't want to wake you.
01:22:28How far are we from Tacoma?
01:22:31Maybe two hours.
01:22:33What do we do after this?
01:22:35What do you mean?
01:22:36I mean, do we just drop them off at the park and say goodbye and go home?
01:22:42Yeah.
01:22:44That's what we do.
01:22:47I don't want to do that.
01:22:49I don't know.
01:22:50It feels...
01:22:51Robert, it feels like we're abandoning him here.
01:22:54I don't want to do that either.
01:22:56But it's the right thing to do.
01:22:59He's...
01:22:59He's an animal.
01:23:01And it's our job to ensure his safety.
01:23:03I don't take that lightly, and I know you don't either.
01:23:07This place will be good for him.
01:23:08You said it yourself, uh, there may be more like him.
01:23:13He should have a chance to live with them.
01:23:16Maybe even start a family.
01:23:20Yeah.
01:23:35Well, we made it.
01:23:38You're gonna love it here.
01:23:41Just...
01:23:41Watch out for all the bears.
01:23:43There are way more bears here than there are back home.
01:23:45They got grizzly bears, brown bears, cody abs...
01:23:48They got...
01:23:48He's the most elusive creature known to man.
01:23:51How many people have you heard have found a Sasquatch attacked by a bear?
01:23:55Who am I kidding?
01:23:57You'll be fine.
01:23:59Have fun eating the bears.
01:24:10Well, uh...
01:24:11Make sure to be safe, and, uh...
01:24:14Always remember that it's very important that you put...
01:24:38Bye.
01:24:40Bye.
01:24:54Hey, Robert.
01:25:07What's up?
01:25:08guitar solo
01:25:50guitar solo
01:26:20guitar solo
01:26:40Oh, he's just so strong
01:26:58Oh my gosh, are you okay, sir?
01:27:02Did they really charge you $400?
01:27:04Well, it was more like $430 after tax.
01:27:08Have you tasted it?
01:27:09Yeah!
01:27:10Oh, yeah!
01:27:11And come at me and fly out of the frame towards me and past me.
01:27:15Fly with your arms out, Marcus.
01:27:18Are you good at this?
01:27:21Oh, my God!
01:27:23Oh, my God!
01:27:27No one's ever going to believe you!
01:27:30Oh, my God!
01:27:32Oh, my God!
01:27:33All right!
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