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Merry Prince-Mas! Full Movie on Drama Max
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:06This is the worst Christmas ever.
00:00:13Oh, Belle, I hope I have one more holiday.
00:00:17But if I don't, my dying wish is that you be engaged by Christmas.
00:00:22Well, Grandpa, I am engaged.
00:00:28We're getting married on New Year's.
00:00:30He drove all the way here to New York with me just to meet you.
00:00:33His name is Todd.
00:00:35Maybe you'll get him, okay?
00:00:37Just get some rest.
00:00:38Fuck.
00:00:41Oh, yeah.
00:00:43That's it, brother.
00:00:46Fuck.
00:00:48Todd, what are you doing?
00:00:49Whoa, hey.
00:00:51Guess this is a bad time to say I want to break up.
00:00:53Todd, what the fuck?
00:00:55Are you cheating on me in front of me?
00:00:57I never want to see you again.
00:00:59Hey.
00:01:01What's her deal?
00:01:07Oh, don't worry.
00:01:08Your grandpa's going to make a full recovery.
00:01:11Your engagement gave him the will to live through Christmas.
00:01:17Who am I going to bring home for Christmas?
00:01:24I can't believe I have to hire a prostitute to be my fake boyfriend.
00:01:48You're pregnant.
00:01:49Please, Your Highness.
00:01:51We can't do this.
00:01:52We must go back to Monrovia for Christmas now.
00:01:56No, Peterson, if I go back now, my mother will have me engaged to some boring European socialite by New
00:02:02Year's.
00:02:02No, I just, for once, I want a normal holiday.
00:02:08Ah, and we have one other issue.
00:02:11Your mother, the Queen, is on the phone now.
00:02:18Hi, Mother.
00:02:20Henry, I want you to come home at once.
00:02:22I can't, Mother, because I'm spending the holidays with my girlfriend.
00:02:30Girlfriend? Nonsense, really. Who is she? Oh, don't tell me. She's American.
00:02:36She is an American. She's an American heiress. A shoe heiress.
00:02:43The reception, it's bad. Gotta go.
00:02:50Sir, you cannot lie to the Queen like that.
00:02:55Why on earth did you hire a model?
00:02:58Because with the photos of the model you hired, I can prove to my mother that I have a girlfriend,
00:03:04and I can have an American Christmas alone.
00:03:09Well, at least take off that silly hat.
00:03:11No, I like it.
00:03:18What the hell are you doing? You hit me!
00:03:21What's wrong? You hit me!
00:03:22Well, you're the idiot that wasn't paying attention!
00:03:24Who rides a scooter in winter?
00:03:26God, you Americans are so self-involved.
00:03:28Okay, listen, jerkwad. I am late, and I'm trying to meet somebody, and...
00:03:31Shit. He's wearing a Santa hat.
00:03:34He's the prostitute I have in.
00:03:36It's you.
00:03:41This must be the model Peterson hired.
00:03:44Yes.
00:03:45It's me.
00:03:47All right, why don't we get this photo over with, right? I don't have time for all the...
00:03:51regality.
00:03:52Hey, wait, why are you taking a photo of me?
00:03:54Why doesn't she know about the photo?
00:03:56She must not be the model Peterson hired.
00:03:59Oh, so you just go around taking photos of strangers?
00:04:01That's pretty creepy. You know that, right?
00:04:02Oh my God, she thinks that's creepy.
00:04:05Miss, I'm...
00:04:06Okay, look, I don't know you, and I don't care. I have to be at my grandpa's in an hour.
00:04:09She has no clue. I'm a prince.
00:04:11Look, I can only pay you $5,000 for you to come home with me.
00:04:14You have an email?
00:04:15American girls are so forward.
00:04:17$5,000?
00:04:19Dude, listen, I don't have much time, and that's my entire savings. Do we have a deal or not?
00:04:23Listen, there must be some sort of confusion.
00:04:29One moment.
00:04:31She's just going to keep calling if I don't pick up.
00:04:34Mother, I don't have time for this.
00:04:35I know you're with your new fiancée. I just wanted to call and say she's gorgeous.
00:04:41You have my blessing to stay there for Christmas.
00:04:44I do?
00:04:46That's great. Okay, bye.
00:04:48Oh my God, my mother thinks she's my fiancée.
00:04:51If I go back to Monrovia, I'll be in an arranged marriage with a snob by February.
00:04:55What is the confusion?
00:04:56I pay you to come home with me until Christmas and pretend to be my boyfriend until New Year's.
00:05:00Do we have a deal or not?
00:05:02We've got a deal.
00:05:06You've got a deal.
00:05:08Good. Who do I Venmo?
00:05:10I don't have a wallet and much less a Venmo.
00:05:12Make something up.
00:05:14Henry!
00:05:15Just Henry.
00:05:16That's the one that comes up.
00:05:18Yeah.
00:05:20Sent.
00:05:21Now here are the rules.
00:05:22This is my grandpa's last Christmas, and he's very sick.
00:05:25I don't have the heart to tell him that I broke up with my boyfriend, and any upset could kill
00:05:28him.
00:05:28So no surprises, no lies, and also I am not having sex with you.
00:05:33Sex?
00:05:34We just met.
00:05:36This prostitute is weird.
00:05:38It's a long drive to my parents, so I'll meet you there in about six hours.
00:05:41Just show up as a normal American guy who loves Christmas, okay?
00:05:45Oh, and, um, drop the accent.
00:05:50Accent?
00:05:51Your mother wants more pics of your fiancé.
00:05:54I mean this with utmost respect, but what the hell are you doing?
00:05:59Peterson, it's perfect.
00:06:01My mother and the press will leave me alone.
00:06:03I can have a real American Christmas.
00:06:05She doesn't know who I am.
00:06:06I can just be a normal guy.
00:06:07As long as you're discreet about it, no one should know who you are.
00:06:14They won't.
00:06:16We have one hour to find American clothes for my American Christmas.
00:06:20Get some clothes for you and the guards as well.
00:06:22Soon, you and I will be in a lovely place called Buffalo.
00:06:34Oh, sweetie!
00:06:36I'm so glad you're here!
00:06:37Oh, let's get you inside.
00:06:40Well, if it isn't Grandpa's former favorite.
00:06:43Merry Christmas, loser.
00:06:45Are you here solo again?
00:06:51Merry Christmas to you too, Katie.
00:06:54Belle, Katie's going to need the room with the bigger bed this time.
00:06:57She has a brand new, very rich boyfriend.
00:07:00And you, of course, are coming home alone again.
00:07:05Actually, I am...
00:07:07Don't be silly.
00:07:08Mom, she's just a single loser.
00:07:11Look at her.
00:07:12She's ugly and her snatch is dry.
00:07:16Well, I can see why she's still single.
00:07:19Look at these love handles.
00:07:21Stop!
00:07:22Okay?
00:07:23You know, not all guys like more cushion for the push-in.
00:07:27Fatty.
00:07:28No more cookies for you this Christmas.
00:07:32If you keep it up, I'll shove a cookie up your ass.
00:07:34Okay, both of you.
00:07:35Now stop.
00:07:37So sensitive.
00:07:39She's just jealous because I can keep a man.
00:07:41Oh, my God.
00:07:43Does she know?
00:07:45Actually, I am seeing someone.
00:07:48Yeah, right.
00:07:50Is he imaginary?
00:07:52Are you hallucinating?
00:07:53I think you should go, Belle.
00:07:57I don't think Grandpa's heart could take the side of a single loser.
00:08:07I am not single.
00:08:09I have a boyfriend, and he's going to be here any minute.
00:08:11If you have a boyfriend, then where is he?
00:08:15If he doesn't show him, all hell will break loose.
00:08:36Darling, where shall I put these?
00:08:41Meet my boyfriend, bitch.
00:08:53Who the hell is he?
00:08:56Mom.
00:08:57Aunt Moira.
00:08:58Katie.
00:08:59This is...
00:09:01Henry.
00:09:02Henry von...
00:09:03Oh, I call bullshit.
00:09:06This is just some guy she got off the street.
00:09:10And this car, obviously a fake.
00:09:15Why are you driving a Bentley with the royal family emblem?
00:09:20Well, I'm actually a driver for the royal family of Monrovia.
00:09:32A driver?
00:09:33Like, a servant?
00:09:36That's pathetic, Belle.
00:09:38Did he come with the car?
00:09:39Well, Grandpa's definitely going to have a heart attack when he realizes how desperate you are.
00:09:48Nice to meet you.
00:09:49Thanks.
00:09:50Merry Christmas.
00:09:51Oh, thank you.
00:09:52Merry Christmas.
00:09:54Forget about them.
00:09:55Let's just try to have a calm Christmas for Grandpa.
00:09:59I'll go finish dinner preparations.
00:10:05The royal driver?
00:10:07What was your plan?
00:10:08I'll pretend to be the prince of Monrovia?
00:10:10Yeah, the prince.
00:10:13Me.
00:10:13The prince.
00:10:14Imagine.
00:10:15No, no.
00:10:16I'm just a regular guy who likes regular American Christmas.
00:10:22Okay.
00:10:23But look, I'm not paying extra for that Bentley.
00:10:25Oh, don't worry about that.
00:10:26I'm good friends with the driver.
00:10:29Anyway, your family seems pretty intense.
00:10:33Prince, may I ask why an amazing woman like yourself needs to hire someone to be your boyfriend?
00:10:40My fiancé left me a few weeks ago.
00:10:43Grandpa's just pretty fragile and I haven't had the heart to tell him the truth.
00:10:47I know what it feels to have to live up to your family's expectations.
00:10:53Whoever your ex is, he sounds like an idiot.
00:10:58Belle, Henry, meet my new boyfriend.
00:11:05Dad, what are you doing?
00:11:09My cousin screwed my ex.
00:11:15Hold on.
00:11:17Do you two know each other?
00:11:25Merry Christmas, Grandpa.
00:11:28Stop.
00:11:33You're fucking my cousin?
00:11:35You say anything and I'll tell Grandpa that you were busy getting railed by some guy while he was on
00:11:40his deathbed.
00:11:41You won't want to upset him, won't you?
00:11:47No, Grandpa.
00:11:49Todd and I have never met.
00:11:52Remember when I told you my fiance cheated on me?
00:11:54Turns out he's fucking my cousin.
00:11:57That also is her ex.
00:12:00Grandpa, I want you to meet my new boyfriend, though.
00:12:03Henry.
00:12:04Her boyfriend?
00:12:06Lovely to meet you, Grandpa.
00:12:09Any man who gets to be with Belle is the luckiest man in the world.
00:12:14No.
00:12:15He's a driver for the royal family.
00:12:18Allegedly.
00:12:19Oh, nice.
00:12:21Hope my girls are happy and in love.
00:12:23That's going to help me make it through this Christmas season.
00:12:28Well, I hate to ruin Christmas, Grandpa, but Belle is lying.
00:12:33There is no way that this loser is her boyfriend.
00:12:37Uh, Belle?
00:12:40Is this true?
00:12:41If he finds out Henry is a cowboy, then a drama could kill him.
00:12:48This loser isn't her boyfriend.
00:12:50She paid him.
00:12:52And how would you know that, Todd?
00:12:55Oh, I know a lot more than you think, loser.
00:12:59Okay, hey.
00:12:59How about you focus on your relationship instead of mine?
00:13:02Because you're lying to this family.
00:13:04It's obviously some homeless guy you picked up off the street.
00:13:07Are you paying him to screw you, too?
00:13:10Oh, well, unlike your new boyfriend, I don't have to pay to get some.
00:13:14You lying twat!
00:13:18You want another?
00:13:21Stop fighting!
00:13:23You're upsetting Grandpa.
00:13:25I'm sorry, Grandpa, but it's better that you know that little Miss Perfect is paying a prostitute.
00:13:31That's insane!
00:13:32You have no proof!
00:13:33Oh, yes we do.
00:13:35Your Venmo receipts?
00:13:37Shouldn't have made them public.
00:13:38Look, I can only pay you $5,000 for you to come home with me.
00:13:41You have Venmo?
00:13:42Shit!
00:13:43The Venmo!
00:13:44Ah, right here.
00:13:45Looks like you paid someone $5,000!
00:13:47Wh-What the hell?!
00:13:50Shit!
00:13:51Gah!
00:13:51Oh, my God!
00:13:53Oh!
00:13:55Wait, what are those men here for?
00:14:02What men?
00:14:05What?
00:14:09First you break my phone and then you break my face, you idiot!
00:14:13I could have done much worse!
00:14:15You're very lucky!
00:14:16It's okay, baby!
00:14:17I could open my phone and prove Little Miss Perfect is lying!
00:14:22She Venmo'd $5,000 to some guy named Henry!
00:14:27Whoa!
00:14:28That doesn't prove anything!
00:14:30Yes, it does!
00:14:31No, first of all, why would I use my own name?
00:14:34And second, Henry is the most popular name in the United States!
00:14:38And third, look closer.
00:14:41That account belongs to a Henry Wong.
00:14:44Look at that picture.
00:14:45That's an Asian man.
00:14:47That's an Asian man.
00:14:48Then why did you pay $5,000 to some guy named Henry with a house emoji next to it?
00:14:54Thank God.
00:14:55I must have been with some random Henry.
00:14:57Okay, think fast though.
00:14:59Because Henry Wong is, um...
00:15:03He's my new landlord.
00:15:06There, there, it's settled.
00:15:08Now, could we please just go and have a peaceful dinner together?
00:15:12I would love that.
00:15:14Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:15:15Let's go.
00:15:18It's okay, baby.
00:15:23We may have our geriatric grandpa fooled, but I don't believe that guy's your boyfriend for a second.
00:15:29Hmm?
00:15:30What, are you trying to fuck him too?
00:15:32Laugh all you want, but I have the man and grandpa's gonna die soon, so I'll get the house too!
00:15:39What are you talking about?
00:15:41Oh, he didn't tell you, did he?
00:15:46Everybody, I have an important announcement.
00:15:49I've been thinking long and hard over who will get the house after I'm gone.
00:15:55So I've made a decision.
00:15:58Whichever one of my granddaughters marries first, gets the house immediately.
00:16:09But, but mom still lives here.
00:16:11Yeah, but she can live on the street, or she can rent back from us until we bulldoze it.
00:16:15You can't bulldoze it.
00:16:17Well, we've had every Christmas here. This is where all of our memories are.
00:16:21Maybe if you had kept your man happy, you wouldn't be in this position.
00:16:28Oh, unlike you, who's been in every position?
00:16:31I should get an award for rescuing Todd from a fish, whose only talent was to play dead.
00:16:39Okay, we need to stop fighting the hurting grandpa.
00:16:42Your whore face is hurting him. Stop breathing, bitch.
00:16:46I can't stand this fighting.
00:16:48Don't worry, Gramps.
00:16:49I know how to stop the fighting.
00:16:56He's proposing to her with the ring he gave me?
00:17:00Katie, the most beautiful woman on this planet.
00:17:04Will you marry me?
00:17:05Yes, Todd, yes!
00:17:07Yes, yes!
00:17:13The house is mine, the ring is mine, and the man is mine.
00:17:17Merry Christmas to me, bitch!
00:17:21Katie?
00:17:23Wait!
00:17:32What are you doing?
00:17:33Bill, will you marry me?
00:17:41Say yes, what are you waiting for?
00:17:44You want to keep the house, don't you?
00:17:48Grandpa does look really happy.
00:17:52Yes!
00:17:55Yes!
00:17:58Christmas, a double wedding!
00:18:01You hijacked my proposal!
00:18:03You hijacked me, Bluefin.
00:18:04You are so selfish, Belle!
00:18:06You always make everything all about you!
00:18:09These two losers are just trying to steal grandpa's house!
00:18:12You weren't planning on proposing.
00:18:13Where's your ring?
00:18:14Where is it?
00:18:14Where is it?
00:18:15I have a...
00:18:17I have a ring right here.
00:18:19I didn't want to make Todd's look so pathetic.
00:18:21It's much larger.
00:18:23Wow.
00:18:24How the hell did he get that?
00:18:27It doesn't matter.
00:18:28What matters is, my two granddaughters are going to be married before I die.
00:18:35It's a Christmas miracle!
00:18:38A double wedding.
00:18:39I can hardly believe this.
00:18:41Me neither.
00:18:42Okay, but who gets the house, Grandpa?
00:18:44Zaden's technically engaged first.
00:18:47You're right.
00:18:49That does make things more complicated.
00:18:52Your grandmother loved having Christmas in this house more than anything.
00:18:58So whoever shows the most Christmas spirit gets the house.
00:19:05It's a great idea, Grandpa.
00:19:08But if you guys would just excuse me, I would like to talk to my fiancee alone for just a
00:19:14minute.
00:19:18Where's the ham?
00:19:21What the hell is wrong with you?
00:19:23You just proposed to me in front of my entire family?
00:19:28Look, you're supposed to be my fake boyfriend until New Year's, not my fiancee.
00:19:32I'm sorry, I just got caught up in the moment.
00:19:36What if you think you're going to get paid extra for this in this big ring?
00:19:38You are insane.
00:19:40You should be thanking me.
00:19:42I'm the one who saved you from your psychotic cousin getting your grandpa's house.
00:19:46Okay, listen, buddy. I am not some damsel in distress. I don't need to be saved.
00:19:51Really? Because last time I checked, I wasn't the one hiring a fake boyfriend for Christmas.
00:19:56Which was going perfectly fine until you lied, said you were driver for the royal family of Monrovia,
00:20:03and then proposed to me.
00:20:05I could go out there right now and tell your family everything.
00:20:09You want that?
00:20:11What you can do is drop this annoying fish-out-of-water act and stick to the plan.
00:20:18I don't think you find me annoying.
00:20:21I think you find me quite charming.
00:20:31I find you exhausting.
00:20:37And what the hell are you doing with that kind of a ring? Who are you?
00:20:40What are you two doing in the pantry?
00:20:47I am so sorry.
00:20:50I didn't mean to interrupt.
00:20:52No, it's okay. You just can't keep his hands on me.
00:20:56That's right. I can't get enough of my pookie.
00:20:59You two little lovebirds, I just came to show you where you'd be sleeping.
00:21:06Look, we fake the engagement until the trip is over. But until then, do not blow our cover.
00:21:12Deal.
00:21:19Peterson, I'm releasing you. I need you to call off the guards.
00:21:22But, sir.
00:21:23I will call you if I need you. Other than that, enjoy your Christmas.
00:21:28But your mother, sir.
00:21:30That's an order. Goodbye.
00:21:35The room isn't that big.
00:21:37Uh, no problem at all. We love the cuddle.
00:21:41Oh, and Todd and Katie are in the next room over.
00:21:44Great. I'm sharing a wall with my ex and the psycho he left me for.
00:21:48Let me know if you guys need anything.
00:21:59One bed? Are you serious?
00:22:03Might be hard to keep my distance.
00:22:09Don't worry. We won't make too much noise with all the boning we're about to do.
00:22:14Ew.
00:22:14Oh, that's right, Belle. You don't know how to make a man make noise.
00:22:28Oh, absolutely not. I'm not one of your clients.
00:22:32Clients?
00:22:33Hmm. Must be an American term.
00:22:35Well, um, I'll just take a shower and sleep on the floor, I guess.
00:22:54Oh, come on. Where's my phone?
00:23:03Okay, whatever.
00:23:05Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
00:23:15Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
00:23:18Bollocks. I'm so sorry.
00:23:20No, no, it's fine. I, I, I, I'm just, I'm just gonna go.
00:23:29Oh, yeah, of course.
00:23:32Oh, my God.
00:23:35May I?
00:23:36Yeah, yeah, whatever you need.
00:23:44Sorry, I even sleep shirtless. Hope you don't mind.
00:23:49Nope.
00:23:49Right.
00:23:54You know, it's bad enough. My ex broke my heart and crashed Christmas, and now we have to share a
00:23:58freaking wall with them.
00:23:59I'm sorry. That's awful. Want me to sing you a lullaby?
00:24:04No.
00:24:06Goodnight.
00:24:12Oh, my God. Are they having sex?
00:24:16Okay, this is my nightmare.
00:24:21I have an idea that might make them jealous.
00:24:23What?
00:24:24We should have sex.
00:24:30No, I, I am not sleeping with you.
00:24:32No, no, no, no. Pretend sex. We just got engaged, so it would be weird if we didn't have sex,
00:24:38right?
00:24:38Okay, so how do we have pretend sex?
00:24:43I'll show you please.
00:24:46Belle! Belle, oh, my God. That feels so good, Belle.
00:24:51Stop, stop, stop. I'm not doing that.
00:24:59Fine, let's do it.
00:25:00You're good.
00:25:01Belle, you're the sexiest woman alive.
00:25:04Oh, Henry, this is the best sex I've ever had.
00:25:07Open her, Henry, harder.
00:25:09Oh, my God, Belle!
00:25:14Stop, stop.
00:25:15I'm just not.
00:25:16I'm just not.
00:25:16It's a good idea.
00:25:17No!
00:25:41What am I doing?
00:25:43I'm paying him.
00:25:45He's a professional sex worker.
00:25:46Hey, I think that's enough pretending for tonight.
00:25:50Right.
00:25:51I guess we just got a little carried away.
00:25:55Good night.
00:25:57Good night.
00:26:17Oh, there's no way those two are having sex.
00:26:20I bet they're not even in the same bed.
00:26:23One way to find out.
00:26:30Better hurry up because round two is waiting for you.
00:26:38Did you hear that?
00:26:40Shit, I forgot to lock the door.
00:26:46I knew it!
00:27:06I could get used to America.
00:27:14You're watching me sleep?
00:27:15Uh, no.
00:27:19Belle, about last night, I, uh...
00:27:26Don't fall for him, Belle.
00:27:28He has sex for a living.
00:27:31I'm probably just another client.
00:27:35We don't have to talk about it.
00:27:37I think it's best if we keep things professional.
00:27:41Professional?
00:27:43Right.
00:27:45Of course.
00:27:49Well, I should probably wrap Grandpa's gift before you wake up.
00:27:56I could have sworn she felt it too last night, but maybe she was just pretending.
00:28:13It's perfect.
00:28:14I think I like this girl.
00:28:25Grandpa's gonna love it.
00:28:27I can't wait to turn Belle's sweet gift to Grandpa into trash.
00:28:34Look, we just have to get their Christmas presents at the house and we'll be fine.
00:28:42Grandpa Joe, in the spirit of Christmas, we've decided we're throwing you a holiday party.
00:28:48Katie.
00:28:49Katie, that's so thoughtful of you.
00:28:51It's so thoughtful of us, yes.
00:28:54Better brush up on your Monrovian lies, Mr. Uber driver.
00:28:57The party is at a Monrovian restaurant.
00:29:00Better get packing.
00:29:03If I go to a Monrovian restaurant, people will recognize me.
00:29:11No one will know I'm the prince in this cheesy Christmas sweater.
00:29:17Your Highness.
00:29:26Why is the busboy bowing?
00:29:29Monrovian custom.
00:29:33How do you do?
00:29:36Thank you for your service.
00:29:39That is the dumbest custom I have ever heard of.
00:29:42Maybe Icon actually gets away with this.
00:29:45Oh my god, it's you!
00:29:52Oh my god, it's you!
00:29:55It's so good to see you!
00:29:57Monrovian is such a small country.
00:30:01Listen, these people don't know who I am, so your discretion is appreciated, okay?
00:30:05Of course, sir.
00:30:09The busboy will show you to your table.
00:30:12Right, uh, right this way.
00:30:19The prince of Monrovian touched me!
00:30:33That's it? Just one gift in a cheap gift bag?
00:30:36That's what you get for having a broke fiancé.
00:30:40Well, for your information, I got this gift on my own.
00:30:43Not everyone needs a man to support them.
00:30:46Why don't you and your broke boyfriend take your shitty gift and go sit over there at the bar?
00:30:52Grandpa doesn't need anything fancy. He wanted a gift from the heart.
00:30:56But you wouldn't understand that because you don't have one, do you, Katie?
00:30:59I might be heartless, but at least I won't be homeless.
00:31:02Unless the house is mine, whoreface.
00:31:08Wow! So many gifts!
00:31:12Thanks to my finance fiancé, we got you an all-you-can-eat royal cruise to Cabo worth $200,000.
00:31:21This is very generous indeed.
00:31:26We can all go together after you give us the house.
00:31:28Belle, did you want the help? I mean, your fiancé.
00:31:33Get Grandpa anything for Christmas?
00:31:35Sure. It's right here.
00:31:38Oh my god. They replaced my gift with dog shit?
00:31:43Don't be embarrassed. Let's see it.
00:31:49Oh my god, Belle! You ungrateful bitch!
00:31:54You got Grandpa dog shit?
00:31:56No!
00:31:57Grandpa, look what Belle and that loser got you for Christmas.
00:32:08Oops.
00:32:20I'm so sorry, ma'am.
00:32:22These are Jimmy Choos! You got poo all over my choos! Get it off! Get it off!
00:32:29Let me clean that up for you.
00:32:35Grandpa, that wasn't your gift. Give me one moment.
00:32:40You asshole. You switched the bags. Where is my gift for Grandpa?
00:32:44Oh, that old suit? Well, I donated it. I thought it was for the homeless shelter.
00:32:48You threw away my gift for Grandpa and replaced it with shit?
00:32:51To be fair, it was a pretty shitty gift to begin with.
00:32:55Guess you don't have anything to give to Grandpa.
00:32:57This is ridiculous. I'm gonna tell him the truth.
00:33:02Are you sure you want to start another fight, Belle? Wouldn't that upset Grandpa? Huh?
00:33:07What's going on? Belle, wasn't I supposed to be opening your gift now?
00:33:13I would rather Grandpa think I didn't get him anything than risk his health.
00:33:17Grandpa, I'm... I'm sorry I didn't get you a gift. I...
00:33:21Um, that's right. Uh, she didn't get you just one gift. Um, she got you many.
00:33:28Peterson.
00:33:42Well, let's see what you got, loser. I'm in finance.
00:33:46He does investments for J.P. Morgan and you? You open doors for people.
00:33:52There's no way you can afford better gifts than mwah.
00:33:56Oh, really?
00:33:57Yeah.
00:33:59Grandpa Joe, Merry Christmas.
00:34:02The royal crystal glass statue signed by the late, great King George III on his deathbed.
00:34:09That... that... that... that's his signature.
00:34:12What does he even have there?
00:34:14Second.
00:34:17The deed to a castle in the Czech Republic. It's quite roomy, actually.
00:34:22Indeed.
00:34:23Oh, and, um, Belle mentioned that you liked my Rolex, so you may have it.
00:34:31You're giving me your watch?
00:34:33Yes.
00:34:33I... no, this is too generous, isn't it? Please, I insist.
00:34:37I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Grandpa, but there's no way a bottom feeder who sits in
00:34:44traffic
00:34:44for a living could afford this. It's fake.
00:34:48Looks real to me.
00:34:51That's not King George III's signature. Because this is his real signature.
00:34:57Yeah, look at that. That means that this is worthless.
00:35:01Oh, what are you doing?
00:35:10You just smashed a $20 million statue. His signature looked like that because
00:35:18he was on his deathbed. He was dying.
00:35:23Please, just stop this fighting.
00:35:27Please stop all this insanity. Grandpa's heart can't take this.
00:35:31Fine. For the sake of Christmas, we'll pretend the statue was real. But this...
00:35:37Who even has handwritten deeds anymore? Hello? Like, no one.
00:35:46That deed was written in 1756 before computers were invented.
00:35:55Yeah, right. And I'm sure this royal Rolex right here is ancient too, huh?
00:36:01Get that back. Get that back.
00:36:03I make a fool out of Grandpa with your cheap knockoff on Christmas of all days. You're a sadistic psychopath.
00:36:13I can get Grandpa 10 Rolexes if I wanted, and all of them would be real.
00:36:21Oh, only the royal Rolex watch has diamond gears. You just smashed the royal Rolex.
00:36:35Oh, fuck. That watch is real. Of course it's real. All of this is real, you fool.
00:36:41You idiots. The castle is real. We could have used that money.
00:36:51You brought this man into our families. This man who ruins Christmas. All of the gifts are destroyed.
00:37:00Well, um, not, uh, not every gift, Grandpa Joe.
00:37:08This one is, uh, from Belle and I.
00:37:21This is the true meaning of Christmas.
00:37:26Katie, you two keep doing this, and you better find a hotel to stay in at Christmas.
00:37:37Hey, hey, hey.
00:37:38What the hell are we gonna do now?
00:37:40Rebel will for sure get them the house.
00:37:42Once I expose Belle's boyfriend as a fraud, she's never getting the house.
00:37:48J.B. Morgan just promoted me. I have access to the royal accounts.
00:37:54I can prove he's not on the royal payroll.
00:37:57You're a genius, baby.
00:38:04I would like to give a formal apology for destroying the gifts, but I promise to replace
00:38:10all of them thanks to my new promotion.
00:38:13Cheers to my new loaded fiance, J.P. Morgan's new account manager to the royal family.
00:38:23He's the account manager for the royal family. He'll find out who I am.
00:38:30He's gonna say that you don't really work for the royal family. We're screwed.
00:38:34It's okay. Don't worry about that.
00:38:36This guy is full of crap, and I'm going to prove it.
00:38:40Congratulations, Todd.
00:38:42Now tell me, um, how did you land such a marvelous job?
00:38:46Well, I've been corning the royal family for months now, treating them to five-star dinners,
00:38:51designer suits, and yacht parties.
00:38:55I bet you've never been to Lake Wommel, the royal family, have you, bitch?
00:39:01That's a lie. I've never heard of this man in my life.
00:39:05That's great. Um, well, if you'll excuse me, um, I have to use the loo.
00:39:20Hello? Your Highness, uh, sir.
00:39:24Our new account manager is misappropriating funds.
00:39:27He's spending it on yacht parties and five-star dinners. Look into it.
00:39:32Of course, of course, Your Highness. I am so sorry. I will take care of this.
00:39:36Mm, great.
00:39:39Gary! Bring me the royal account!
00:39:44Well, it's the man of the hour. I was just about to tell everyone about how you're lying to all
00:39:51of them.
00:39:51You're not a driver for the royal family.
00:39:54What are you talking about?
00:39:57Grandpa, this liar isn't even employed by the royal family because he isn't on the royal payroll.
00:40:05I'm not on the payroll because I get paid in Monrovian cash.
00:40:13Really? Then where is it?
00:40:15Okay. I've got some right here.
00:40:20My face is on the cash.
00:40:22Let's see that Monrovian cash.
00:40:31Only an insane person would rip up cash.
00:40:34And isn't that a felony?
00:40:35She's right. Ripping up cash is a felony. Come on, explain yourself.
00:40:40That's right. It's a felony in America. But in Monrovia, it's tradition.
00:40:47That's right. It's a New Year's tradition. We tear up the first bill of the year.
00:40:55Darn it. I'm all out of cash.
00:40:57What a hot tradition.
00:40:59You see, I live with the royal family, so typically they cover all my expenses for my services.
00:41:06Technically not a lie.
00:41:07Really? Then how do you buy things? Like fake gifts.
00:41:12Oh, I know. You stole them.
00:41:15No, I don't steal. I use my card. See?
00:41:21That's the royal Monrovian credit card.
00:41:24Oh, please. Anyone can tell that card is fake, just like everything else about him.
00:41:28Well, there's one way to find out. Put the entire party on that card.
00:41:34Waitress? Could we get the check over there?
00:41:37The total is $10,000.
00:41:39Hey, look, you don't actually have to pay. We can just tell them. You don't have anything to prove.
00:41:44Run the card.
00:41:49Thank you so much, Your Highness.
00:41:52The card went through? The card works.
00:41:57Okay, great. My fiancé covered your entire Christmas party, so let's drop it.
00:42:00Now, not unless he stole it from the royal family of Monrovia.
00:42:04I demand that you read the name on that card. Whose name is it?
00:42:09Oh, no. My real name is on the card.
00:42:17Who the hell is Harold Bunrovingham?
00:42:20He doesn't know my real name.
00:42:22What is in this card?
00:42:23He stole it. Wait, let me snap.
00:42:26Why does this have the royal insignia on it?
00:42:29You stole the prince's card?
00:42:32Well, you should be sent to jail for identity theft.
00:42:36What sort of a person did you bring into our family, Belle?
00:42:40Tell me. Tell me it's not true.
00:42:42No, I didn't. He didn't. That's...
00:42:44You stole a credit card.
00:42:47No, no. I didn't steal the card. The prince gave it to me.
00:42:54The prince gave it to you?
00:42:57All right. Give him a call, then.
00:42:59Have him confirm it.
00:43:01Yeah, call him and put it on speakerphone.
00:43:03I can't call the prince. The prince is me.
00:43:06Okay, everybody stop.
00:43:07Okay, the truth has to come out.
00:43:10Grandpa, I am so, so sorry.
00:43:14Henry has been lying to everybody.
00:43:16Henry can't call the prince because he is the prince.
00:43:26Him?
00:43:30Well, then I'm the Sultan of Brunei.
00:43:34I think my waitress has been drinking.
00:43:36You should go before I get you fired.
00:43:40Honestly, if he's stealing the royal credit card, who knows what else he's capable of?
00:43:44Aunt Moira is right. You are a danger to this family, and I'm gonna call the cops.
00:43:49You're finished.
00:43:50Okay, you have to tell him the truth. You could go to jail for life.
00:43:53I have a feeling this will all be sorted out soon.
00:43:56No, you don't understand. In America, what you do for a living is not legal.
00:44:00What I do for a living? What the bloody hell are you talking about?
00:44:06Well, cops are called.
00:44:08You're finished, Uber boy. You're gonna be spending the rest of your life behind bars.
00:44:16Oh, perfect timing.
00:44:18You're under arrest for embezzlement.
00:44:20Even if he proves she's not embezzling, they'll find out he's a cowboy and lock him up forever.
00:44:25Officer, I swear there must be a misunderstanding.
00:44:30I'm...
00:44:32Not you, him.
00:44:35Me?
00:44:36Whoa, whoa, whoa, I called you guys. What are you talking about?
00:44:39Uh, DeMoss, you're under arrest for embezzling funds from J.P. Morgan and the royal family of Monrovia.
00:44:44No, I don't know what you're talking about.
00:44:47Hmm, 200k cruise ship, yacht parties, designer suits sound familiar?
00:44:50This is a setup. My, my future son-in-law would never do that.
00:44:55Yeah, you should arrest him for fraud and identity theft.
00:44:58He schemed this entire thing.
00:45:01Just give me one phone call. I will call the CEO of J.P. Morgan and he will clear all
00:45:07of this up.
00:45:11There he is right now.
00:45:13Thank God you called, sir.
00:45:14You are fired, fuckwad.
00:45:16You have been stealing from J.P. Morgan for months. Enjoy prison, asshole.
00:45:24Whoa, I...
00:45:25Baby, baby, you believe me, right? You believe me, don't you? You'll bail me out. You'll love me. You'll love
00:45:29me.
00:45:30Don't insult me, Todd. I don't date poor people. We're done.
00:45:36But babe, babe, that's not possible. I can't go to jail. I'm scared of dropping the soap, baby.
00:45:43Okay, how did you pull that off? How do you know people at J.P. Morgan?
00:45:47Well, I should tell you the truth. We, um, we're together.
00:45:51Oh, my God. He has clients at J.P. Morgan.
00:45:55Well, no, actually...
00:45:57It's okay, the details aren't important. You got me the house and that's, that's what matters. Thank you.
00:46:02You can wipe that smug smile off of your twat face if you don't have the house yet.
00:46:10Grandpa said whichever granddaughter got married first wins the house,
00:46:13and your whore of a daughter is single now, so I win.
00:46:16No. Grandpa said whoever has the most Christmas spirit gets the key, including me.
00:46:23And you can't exclude my darling daughter just because she's single.
00:46:27Mom, stop calling me that. Tomorrow, we have a bake-off.
00:46:34And whoever bakes the best Christmas cookies wins the house.
00:46:40Daddy, what do you think about cookies?
00:46:46Grandmother loved cookies.
00:46:50I think it's a lovely idea.
00:46:52Fine. Deal.
00:46:53How festive.
00:46:55And you better bring tissues for when you sob over your homeless bitch mother.
00:47:02Well, if you'll excuse us, Aunt Moira, I've got to go find a recipe to kick your ass.
00:47:09Mom, I can't bake. I'm just a single loser.
00:47:16Pull yourself together. We are going to win that bake-off and get you the house,
00:47:21even if we have to put Gramps in the hospital.
00:47:23Do you want to put Gramps in the hospital?
00:47:26No, but I'll make damn sure that Belle's cookies will.
00:47:36You ready to bake Christmas cookies with Grandpa?
00:47:38Oh, yeah.
00:47:39Who do you think? You can come into Grandpa's kitchen after what you did to my daughter?
00:47:44You got my fiancé arrested.
00:47:46Yeah, well, he was my fiancé before you spread your legs.
00:47:49You bitch.
00:47:51Do not touch my fiancé.
00:47:55Whatever. When Grandpa tastes our cookies, he'll know exactly who deserves the house.
00:48:01The kitchen is taken.
00:48:04You'll have to bake with the crack addicts under the bridge.
00:48:09Bye.
00:48:11Bye.
00:48:17Where are we going to find the kitchen?
00:48:20I want to save the house, but really all I wanted to do is make cookies for Grandpa's house Christmas.
00:48:26Uh, just give me a moment.
00:48:33Peterson, I need you to find me in an estate with a nice kitchen.
00:48:38But, sir, it's the Christmas holiday and we're in Buffalo.
00:48:42Just find it.
00:48:44When do you expect to move in?
00:48:4620 minutes.
00:48:59I've never been to a royal estate before.
00:49:01Hey, how long has the royal family had a place in upstate New York?
00:49:04It's, uh, fairly recent.
00:49:09Ah!
00:49:11A bowl.
00:49:13Made must have moved it.
00:49:15There you go.
00:49:17I, um, gotta be honest.
00:49:20I, uh, never baked before.
00:49:23Well, it's time to learn.
00:49:26I, um, gotta be honest with you.
00:49:49My grandma used to bake with me every year.
00:49:51She loved Christmas.
00:49:54So how come your family never did this with you?
00:49:57Hmm.
00:49:58My parents were always preoccupied with work.
00:50:03My dad was, um, not around very much.
00:50:07Yeah, mine too.
00:50:09Is he not coming home for Christmas?
00:50:10No, he, he died a few years back.
00:50:14I'm so sorry.
00:50:15My granddad died a few years back.
00:50:18It must have been hard.
00:50:19It suddenly became a very big responsibility.
00:50:23I'm sure it was very hard for you as well.
00:50:26Not really.
00:50:27I mean, he, he really wasn't around much.
00:50:30And it's not like he was a good person.
00:50:33You know, he lied to my mom a bunch.
00:50:34And she gave him way too many chances, so...
00:50:37But that's why I have my rule.
00:50:40Lie to me and you're done.
00:50:42Great.
00:50:43If I tell her I'm really a prince, she'll never forgive me.
00:50:46I don't know.
00:50:49You missed a spot.
00:50:51May I?
00:51:10Wait.
00:51:11Does she not like me?
00:51:14Look, I want you to know.
00:51:16I don't care who you are.
00:51:18I don't care.
00:51:19I...
00:51:19Santa, boss.
00:51:21Do you know Cupid's and his arrow?
00:51:25Straight to my heart, a waterfall.
00:51:28In love this Christmas, Santa, that would be the greatest gift of all.
00:51:34Send me a Nexus star game to hang next to me.
00:51:39On the wall, Santa, send me a love for Christmas,
00:51:44A bad would be the greatest gift of all.
00:51:48Can we take this to the royal bedroom?
00:51:51Yes.
00:51:58Bell, I...
00:52:00I...
00:52:01I just can't quite yet.
00:52:04Wait, what do you mean?
00:52:06I can't sleep with her if I'm lying to her.
00:52:08But if I tell her the truth, I could lose her.
00:52:12I...
00:52:12Bell, I...
00:52:13I...
00:52:14I just can't.
00:52:20You must not like me.
00:52:24Bell...
00:52:24Bell...
00:52:25Wait.
00:52:26No, it's fine.
00:52:27Um, no, really, I should get back to processing the cookies anyway, so...
00:52:30No, it's...
00:52:31No, it's...
00:52:33No, it's...
00:52:38Okay.
00:52:43This cookie can be just for grandpa.
00:52:48Here.
00:52:58Right, well, the cookies need to cool before I can frost them, so we should clean up.
00:53:09Look at their basic, boring-ass bitch cookies.
00:53:13They should be grateful we're making their cookies a little bit better with some laxative.
00:53:22Grandpa will poop his pants and blame it on Bell.
00:53:29I'm gonna go put the frosting on the cookies.
00:53:39Oh, those are beautiful, sweetheart.
00:53:42They look delicious, Bell.
00:53:48What do we have here?
00:53:50Three-year-olds on TikTok could have made better cookies.
00:53:53But they could never make an elaborate gingerbread house that was made by my perfect daughter for you.
00:54:01You cannot compare this gingerbread mansion with basic dough turds.
00:54:08How did they make that?
00:54:10I don't think they did.
00:54:12My goodness.
00:54:14That's magnificent, Katie.
00:54:16You must have worked days.
00:54:18Katie is absolutely exhausted from all of that gumdrop gluing.
00:54:23But lack of sleep is a small price to pay for Yuletide Spirit.
00:54:28Very impressive house.
00:54:30Must have taken a lot of work.
00:54:32But not from you.
00:54:34Because you purchased a house at a bakery.
00:54:44How dare you accuse us of purchasing this from a bakery?
00:54:48With a fake receipt.
00:54:50It has your signature.
00:54:53You use Grandpa's credit card to buy the gingerbread house.
00:54:57You're just stalling to prevent Grandpa from trying Bell's turd cookies.
00:55:01You're right, Katie.
00:55:03Grandpa should try one.
00:55:04Because it's actually homemade.
00:55:07Right.
00:55:08Here.
00:55:10Enjoy.
00:55:13Please, it's like bottom shelf Betty Crocker.
00:55:17Actually, it's Grandma's recipe.
00:55:19That way she can still be here even though she's gone.
00:55:22You understood the Christmas spirit assignment perfectly, Bell.
00:55:28You don't like her cookies more than mine.
00:55:29He won't once he's hospitalized for dehydration.
00:55:33Go ahead, Dad.
00:55:34Take a bite.
00:55:36Don't mind if I tell.
00:55:48It tastes just like your grandmother's.
00:55:54Why aren't the laxatives working?
00:55:56Maybe it takes a while for the drugs to start working.
00:55:59What?
00:55:59What to start working?
00:56:01Sugar levels.
00:56:02We all know Grandpa's sugar levels are so important.
00:56:05By sugar levels, do you mean the laxatives that you put on our cookie?
00:56:11The only reason that Grandpa is not sick right now is because we threw out that cookie.
00:56:18We didn't do anything to your cookies.
00:56:20Well, then why don't you give it a try?
00:56:24I'll try your gross cookie.
00:56:38What?
00:56:40What?
00:56:41The world.
00:56:47No.
00:57:00Alright.
00:57:01Right.
00:57:06Oh! That's right! I didn't throw out that cookie.
00:57:09I left it right here on this plate.
00:57:12You're eating that cookie.
00:57:17Oh!
00:57:18Oh, God!
00:57:19No!
00:57:20Oh!
00:57:22Oh!
00:57:23Oh!
00:57:23Oh!
00:57:24Oh!
00:57:24Oh!
00:57:25Oh!
00:57:29Okay, you could have killed Grandpa.
00:57:31That wasn't me.
00:57:32The laxatives were in your purse.
00:57:34I saw them.
00:57:35Oh, right.
00:57:36Another lie.
00:57:36Just like your gingerbread house.
00:57:38I admit.
00:57:39We bought the gingerbread house, but I would never hurt you, Grandpa.
00:57:42I am disappointed in you, Katie.
00:57:44With my heart condition, I could have died of dehydration.
00:57:50Why isn't everything my fault?
00:57:52It was Belle!
00:57:53Belle didn't bring a fraudster into this house.
00:57:55She didn't break all of my Christmas gifts.
00:57:58And she didn't put laxatives in the cookies.
00:58:02But...
00:58:02I think you and your mother should go stay at a hotel.
00:58:08But...
00:58:09Grandpa, I...
00:58:10Enough of your shenanigans, Belle.
00:58:14The key to the house is yours.
00:58:17Thank you, Grandpa.
00:58:20All I wanted was a place for Mom to live.
00:58:30Why is the Queen calling you?
00:58:33Oh!
00:58:34Um...
00:58:37Ah, that's just a...
00:58:39It's a little inside joke that I have between me and my mom.
00:58:43Just obsessed with the royal family, I guess.
00:58:48B.R.B.
00:58:50Hi, Mom.
00:58:53Mother, why are you calling me?
00:58:55You said you would leave me alone until New Year's.
00:58:57Is that any way to talk to your mother, Henry?
00:59:00Since you bought an estate in the armpit of America,
00:59:05stopped responding to Peterson,
00:59:07called off the guards,
00:59:09and failed to send me any photographs,
00:59:11I thought we'd spend Christmas together
00:59:14and find out exactly what's going on.
00:59:16No, we can't spend Christmas together.
00:59:18I'm...
00:59:19I'm in Buffalo.
00:59:21Give me the phone.
00:59:24Yes?
00:59:25We would love to invite your family for Christmas.
00:59:28Henry's family is our family.
00:59:31How is Mom coming to Christmas without everyone finding out
00:59:34when she's the queen?
00:59:35She'd like to speak with you.
00:59:40Glad somebody understands hospitality.
00:59:46Why is the royal caravan in our driveway?
00:59:49Also, we're outside.
00:59:51Peterson gave us the address.
01:00:02Oh, is that the prince?
01:00:06That would be my parents.
01:00:10They work for the royal family, too.
01:00:15Oh.
01:00:16As servants.
01:00:19Okay.
01:00:20Pardon me.
01:00:21One moment.
01:00:23I'll be right back.
01:00:33Ah, there you are.
01:00:36What's going on, Henry?
01:00:38I thought your girlfriend was an heiress.
01:00:40This house is rather small.
01:00:42Um, about that...
01:00:45She's not an heiress.
01:00:48She's a regular American.
01:00:51A commoner?
01:00:53An American?
01:00:54Henry, are you trying to kill me?
01:00:56Henry, what else aren't you telling me?
01:00:59She doesn't know that I'm the prince?
01:01:03Or that you're the queen and king?
01:01:06What?
01:01:08What in God's name does she think we are?
01:01:11Servants?
01:01:13Oh, no.
01:01:15Henry, where are you?
01:01:16No.
01:01:17If she sees you dressed like this, she will know I'm the prince.
01:01:20Please, please, go change.
01:01:22I-I like this girl.
01:01:23Please, go.
01:01:24Go.
01:01:27Hey.
01:01:29Uh, where are your parents?
01:01:31They, uh, they needed a moment to freshen up a little.
01:01:36Let's go this way.
01:01:40Consider it, my dear.
01:01:41Do you remember how dumb I was when I was his age?
01:01:46When I was chasing after you.
01:01:48I refuse to pose as a commoner.
01:01:51Besides, what the devil would we wear?
01:02:06Happy holidays.
01:02:12It's lovely to meet you.
01:02:14Yeah.
01:02:15Well, uh, these are my parents.
01:02:20Vicki.
01:02:21Vicki?
01:02:22And, uh, Eddie.
01:02:25Oh, thank you, m'lady, for your hospitality.
01:02:32This must be the guest house.
01:02:36She's pretty.
01:02:38We're in America.
01:02:39I take that as a compliment, Mother.
01:02:41Something's not right.
01:02:43I love your necklace.
01:02:45So expensive for someone who cleans toilets for a living.
01:02:51It was a gift from me lady, the queen, for cleaning Flo so well.
01:02:57Yeah.
01:02:57You know, our floors are absolutely filthy.
01:03:01You wouldn't mind cleaning them while you're here for us, would you?
01:03:03I normally don't speak to the hell, but I'll make an exception for you.
01:03:07Well, aren't you a peach?
01:03:10I'm ready to give them both the royal smackdown.
01:03:14I think it's time to set the table.
01:03:15Would you, would you like to help me, Vicki?
01:03:17Help?
01:03:18What would you be willing to set our table just like you would for the royal family?
01:03:23I mean, I'd really like it.
01:03:26She's never set a table before in her life.
01:03:28She'll give herself away.
01:03:31Right, Governor.
01:03:40Wow.
01:03:44I haven't seen such a beautiful table setting since my wife was alive.
01:03:51Cheers to new beginnings.
01:03:54Welcome, Vicki and Eddie, to our family.
01:03:59Cheers.
01:04:01Americans are so loud.
01:04:03And ew, there's so much dairy in their food.
01:04:06My arteries are clogging just looking at this.
01:04:09Oh, don't be so stiff, Vicki.
01:04:11I quite like it.
01:04:13And look at our boy.
01:04:16He's never looked happier.
01:04:22We must be getting on.
01:04:26You owe me.
01:04:29I can drive you right now.
01:04:31Oh!
01:04:33I insist.
01:04:34Oh, that would be lovely.
01:04:36We could use the time to get acquainted.
01:04:40I hate her.
01:04:41Ever since we were little, she's always gotten everything.
01:04:44And now she gets the house!
01:04:46Don't you worry about this shitty house.
01:04:48We are gonna get you a palace.
01:04:51But how?
01:04:51No!
01:04:52We're gonna follow those servants back to the royal estate.
01:04:56And that you, the prince.
01:05:14Oh my god!
01:05:16It's the prince!
01:05:21Come to me, my prince!
01:05:23Madam, I am not the prince!
01:05:26That's exactly what a secret prince would say.
01:05:29I know a prince when I see one.
01:05:32Marry me!
01:05:33Make me your princess!
01:05:35Madam, madam, madam!
01:05:35I am not madam!
01:05:37Madam, madam!
01:05:37Madam, madam!
01:05:38Madam, madam!
01:05:38I am not madam!
01:05:40Please!
01:05:43Oh dear!
01:05:45Katie, what are you doing?
01:05:47What does it look like?
01:05:48I'm getting a prince!
01:05:49Bow to me, bitches.
01:05:51I'm your queen now.
01:05:53My first act of business?
01:05:54You're all fired.
01:05:56That man is not a prince.
01:05:58He's a servant.
01:06:00What?
01:06:01I...
01:06:02I touched a servant?!
01:06:07I...
01:06:08I tried to warn you, madam!
01:06:11Bo?
01:06:12Can we a little chit-chat inside for a moment?
01:06:15Is my own mother going to give up my identity?
01:06:21Uh...
01:06:22Mother...
01:06:23Can't it wait?
01:06:24We...
01:06:24have loads to prepare for...
01:06:26for...
01:06:28Don't question my authority, Henry.
01:06:30You must obey me.
01:06:33Uh-oh.
01:06:35The inside.
01:06:38I'll fake for the family, but I won't lie to her.
01:06:43What's your plan...
01:06:45with my son?
01:06:46Well...
01:06:47I really like him, but...
01:06:49I can't be with him because of his job.
01:06:52Well, his occupation does ask lots of him.
01:06:55Never enough to go round.
01:06:57Great.
01:06:57So he's not just a prostitute.
01:07:00He's a busy prostitute.
01:07:01He's been through a lot since his grandfather died.
01:07:04But...
01:07:05it's a family business.
01:07:08Wait...
01:07:08So...
01:07:09him and his grandfather both had sex with people for a living?
01:07:13What?!
01:07:13You think my Henry and my beloved father are prostitutes?
01:07:17Wait...
01:07:17If he's not a prostitute, then what is he?
01:07:21Nooooooo!
01:07:22Don't!
01:07:23I...
01:07:29Don't...
01:07:32Uh...
01:07:33Don't...
01:07:34Have a conversation without me.
01:07:36Where were you talking about?
01:07:38Well...
01:07:38I was just inviting Belle and a grandpa and a mum to the Royal New Year's Ball.
01:07:44The Royal Ball?
01:07:45Seriously?
01:07:46Yes.
01:07:48That's when the Prince will reveal his identity...
01:07:52and stop his American shenanigans.
01:07:55Oh my gosh, this is incredible!
01:07:57Grandpa's gonna be so excited!
01:07:59God, I can't wait to tell him!
01:08:01Oh, I...
01:08:07Why are you just like a prince in the family portrait?
01:08:11Out with it, Henry!
01:08:14Well, uh...
01:08:15The...
01:08:16The...
01:08:17Royal...
01:08:18Family had us...
01:08:19painted like royalty...
01:08:21for...
01:08:22our...
01:08:22years of...
01:08:23service.
01:08:24Okay.
01:08:26I'm gonna go tell Grandpa.
01:08:30Why did you invite her to the ball?
01:08:32She'll know I'm the Prince.
01:08:33That's the point, Henry.
01:08:36I would any woman not want to fall in love with a Prince.
01:08:40You think she loves me?
01:08:41I'm not blind, darling.
01:08:43And if you love her, you'll tell her the truth and stop lying.
01:08:48But...
01:08:48But...
01:08:49What if I...
01:08:49tell her the truth and...
01:08:51she doesn't forgive me?
01:08:53It's a risk you'll have to take.
01:08:55But if you don't tell her you're the Prince before the ball, I will.
01:09:11Everyone got an invitation to the Royal New Year Ball except me?
01:09:15And I licked a servant!
01:09:17You expected to be invited after the way you treated Henry's parents?
01:09:22This is bullshit.
01:09:23Get me an invitation now.
01:09:25I would love to get you one.
01:09:27Except...
01:09:28I'm just a lowly driver.
01:09:30Remember.
01:09:33I'll get an invitation anyway.
01:09:38Oh, Merry Christmas.
01:09:42Ah, yes.
01:09:46Oh!
01:09:47Oh my gosh.
01:09:48I'm so sorry.
01:09:49I'm so clumsy.
01:09:50Excuse me, ma'am.
01:09:51Do I know you?
01:09:52No!
01:09:53No, no!
01:09:54Of course not!
01:09:54But...
01:09:55You know what?
01:09:56You are so handsome!
01:09:58I like you!
01:09:59I'm pretty!
01:10:00It's the matter!
01:10:01Thank you!
01:10:07Time to go bag a Prince.
01:10:13Hey babe!
01:10:14You know that sex tape you have a you in Belle?
01:10:17I want everyone at the ball to know Little Miss Perfect is a dirty little bitch.
01:10:23Did Belle receive the gifts I sent over this morning?
01:10:26What gifts are you talking about?
01:10:29Come on, this way.
01:10:31We are here to dress the family for the royal ball.
01:10:34With the exception of, and I quote, the trashy cousin.
01:10:37No!
01:10:38No!
01:10:38Absolutely not!
01:10:39Please!
01:10:39You need to leave!
01:10:40Now!
01:10:41These are orders of the Queen!
01:10:43This is not the way to be treating your royal stylist!
01:10:46Uh, why is the royal stylist here?
01:10:53Who are these people?
01:10:54This is quite normal for us.
01:10:56For, uh...
01:10:57Try not to lie, Henry.
01:10:59The Queen.
01:11:00Christmas present from...
01:11:02The Queen!
01:11:05And why would the Queen care about us?
01:11:07Because the Queen is a...
01:11:09Very...
01:11:10Generous...
01:11:11Woman.
01:11:13And Belle, listen, I...
01:11:15Your...
01:11:16Your Highness!
01:11:17Uh-uh!
01:11:18I mean, uh, Henry.
01:11:19We have to go back to the palace!
01:11:21Your mother needs you!
01:11:22This way!
01:11:23Uh, wait.
01:11:24Your Highness?
01:11:25Okay, Henry, what is going on?
01:11:27Why is everyone acting so weird?
01:11:28These people are here to help you get ready.
01:11:31I will explain everything...
01:11:33At the ball.
01:11:34I promise.
01:11:35Okay.
01:11:43Whatever happens tomorrow...
01:11:45I-I want you to know that...
01:11:47This is the best Christmas I've ever had.
01:11:51Oh, and...
01:11:53I left you a gift.
01:12:07What did he mean, whatever happens?
01:12:17Wow.
01:12:22Sweetheart, you look beautiful.
01:12:27Dad, want to have some champagne?
01:12:29Oh.
01:12:38Too bad your garage sale tiara doesn't cover your whore face.
01:12:42What are you even doing here?
01:12:44Forget Todd.
01:12:45We came to bag Katie a prince.
01:12:48Where is he?
01:12:49I don't care about the prince.
01:12:51I'm here to see Henry.
01:12:52Aww.
01:12:53Did your fiancé dump you again?
01:12:55He's probably cheating on you.
01:12:57And you're so used to being a cuck.
01:13:00He's not cheating on me.
01:13:01Really?
01:13:02Then where is he?
01:13:03He-he's busy working.
01:13:05Come on.
01:13:06The guy takes secret phone calls and leaves all the time?
01:13:09Taken from me?
01:13:10He's probably boning someone else.
01:13:13Henry did need to tell me something.
01:13:15Maybe they're right.
01:13:16Maybe there is someone else.
01:13:18And after tonight, he might see you a little differently.
01:13:23W-what are you talking about?
01:13:25You'll see.
01:13:26Just wait for the show.
01:13:29Now, let's go bag a prince for my little princess.
01:13:33Yes.
01:13:39See that guy over there?
01:13:42Him?
01:13:43Of course.
01:13:46He asked me to give you this slideshow to play.
01:13:49If it's for the prince, I guess it's okay.
01:13:56God, she's perfect.
01:13:58I have to tell her the truth before it's too late.
01:14:03You look so beautiful, Belle.
01:14:06Um, Belle, there isn't much time.
01:14:09Can we talk?
01:14:10Oh, God, he wants to talk because there's someone else.
01:14:15I know that this was just a contract thing, and I didn't mean to lie to you.
01:14:20I can't believe this is happening to me.
01:14:22Again.
01:14:23God, I'm an idiot.
01:14:25It's...
01:14:25I'm fine.
01:14:27Okay, I already know.
01:14:29What?
01:14:30You know?
01:14:31How?
01:14:32Look, I just...
01:14:33I wish you had told me that you were in love with somebody else before...
01:14:35Wait a second.
01:14:37You...
01:14:37You think I'm in love with someone else?
01:14:39No.
01:14:40There is no one else but you.
01:14:46Oh, good.
01:14:48Because I am in love with you.
01:14:51I love you too, Bill.
01:14:52You know, I haven't felt what family's supposed to feel like since Grandma died.
01:14:57But you brought that feeling back.
01:14:59And you gave me the American Christmas I always wanted.
01:15:02Well, if there's no one else, then what did you want to tell me?
01:15:06I, um...
01:15:07I don't want to work for you.
01:15:10I want to be with you.
01:15:12But, um, I'm not the person I said that I was.
01:15:15I'm actually...
01:15:16Your Highness.
01:15:19Henry, you have to go.
01:15:21I have your jacket.
01:15:22Forgive me.
01:15:23I...
01:15:23I'm sorry.
01:15:24Your Highness?
01:15:26I'm sorry.
01:15:27What the hell is going on?
01:15:31I'm sorry.
01:15:34Ladies and gentlemen, please stand for His Highness King Edward of Monrovia
01:15:40and Her Majesty Queen Victoria.
01:16:01And for the first time publicly in the United States, Prince Harry...
01:16:25Oh my God.
01:16:27He's a Prince.
01:16:31That's what he was trying to tell me.
01:16:33He's the Prince of Monrovia.
01:16:35I'm gonna fall.
01:16:38I knew I liked this kid.
01:16:41He's the prince?
01:16:42What the fuck?
01:16:44He's the prince?
01:16:45That means I asked the Queen of Monrovia to scrub our toilets.
01:16:50Oh my god!
01:16:52Okay, let her have her moment for now.
01:16:55My name is Prince Harold von Monrovingham, but to just one person here, I'm just Henry.
01:17:07You hid your identity.
01:17:08Why couldn't you just tell me?
01:17:10I didn't know if I could find someone who would love me for me, and not just my crown.
01:17:17So you lied.
01:17:18I know I lied, but I didn't think that love was something that was possible for me until I met
01:17:23you.
01:17:24And now I'm terrified that you'll never forgive me.
01:17:29How could I ever trust you again?
01:17:31I told you I hate liars.
01:17:33And that's exactly why I wanted to make this public, so that I could win you back.
01:17:39Oh, will you, will you marry me?
01:17:44For real this time, be my princess.
01:17:52I...
01:17:52Stop.
01:17:54There's no way this bitch is becoming princess.
01:17:58Can't those Americans do anything normally?
01:18:01This whoreface is trash and doesn't deserve to be royalty.
01:18:05Please, Katie, stop you're embarrassing yourself.
01:18:08The only thing embarrassing about this family is that little twat.
01:18:12Her old goody-goody is an act.
01:18:15She fooled your son, and she doesn't deserve to be a princess.
01:18:19What are you talking about?
01:18:20Enough with this American insanity.
01:18:23My son was mid-proposal.
01:18:25Go on.
01:18:26Go on, Henry.
01:18:27No attention to this commoner.
01:18:29Your majesties, about earlier.
01:18:31I'm sorry.
01:18:32Sorry about what?
01:18:33Asking me to scrub your toilets?
01:18:36We apologize, your highnesses.
01:18:38But there's been a big misunderstanding.
01:18:41No, I understand who you are very well.
01:18:44Guards.
01:18:48Get off me.
01:18:49Don't you want to know the truth about your future daughter-in-law?
01:18:53She is a whore.
01:18:54Watch it. There's nothing that you can say that can make me love Belle any less.
01:18:59You're a liar.
01:19:00I have nothing to hide.
01:19:02No, apparently you put it all out there.
01:19:06Remember that little video you took with Todd?
01:19:09I don't think he'll like it once he sees what trash you are.
01:19:12That video is private.
01:19:14What video, Henry? What is she talking about?
01:19:17Now ask yourselves, is this the kind of ho, ho, ho you want for a princess of your shitty country?
01:19:26Hit it.
01:19:36What the fuck? Where's Belle's sex tape?
01:19:39Belle, is that true?
01:19:41Don't listen to a word this lunatic has to say.
01:19:44She assaulted me and has been stalking the prince all along.
01:19:47He's lying.
01:19:50Just look at the video. I gave it to the tech guy.
01:19:52And I promptly took care of it.
01:19:55Enough!
01:19:56This is nothing but a case of revenge porn.
01:20:00Now bow to the royal family and beg for forgiveness.
01:20:04What?
01:20:16Please forgive me.
01:20:18Not just to me.
01:20:19Also to the future princess of Monrovia.
01:20:22What?
01:20:23She isn't a princess!
01:20:24Not yet.
01:20:26Now bow.
01:20:29Your Highness, I bow.
01:20:32I suppose that will do.
01:20:35And now off to you to the police station.
01:20:37Guards!
01:20:39Please, Your Highness.
01:20:42Forgive me.
01:20:43It was just a joke.
01:20:44Oh, a joke.
01:20:45Just when you assaulted my valet.
01:20:48Hmm?
01:20:48Guards!
01:20:49Now how's that for being the...
01:20:51Oh, eh?
01:20:52I'm calling my lawyer!
01:20:54Wait!
01:20:55I should be the princess of Monrovia!
01:20:57Me!
01:20:58Now, where were we?
01:21:00Henry?
01:21:00Oh, yes.
01:21:01On one knee.
01:21:02Right.
01:21:10Well, will you do me the honor?
01:21:13Being the wife of Prince Harold von Monrovingham?
01:21:22No.
01:21:26I don't know who that is.
01:21:32But I will marry Henry.
01:21:36But never lie to me again.
01:21:39I promise I will never, ever lie to you ever again, my beautiful belle.
01:21:44Then I forgive you.
01:21:46Because I'm a prince?
01:21:47No, because you're you.
01:21:49I don't need these presents, this crown or the royal estate.
01:21:54I just want you.
01:21:55No.
01:21:55No.
01:21:56No kiss already.
01:22:07That's an order.
01:22:12To the future princess of Monrovia, princess Belle.
01:22:30these are quite comfy actually oh you know what I'll um I'll get started this gift is for Belle
01:22:41and it's a special token for the first time we've ever met
01:22:48is it another tiara
01:22:54it's better than a tiara
01:22:59for all the riches in my kingdom you're the greatest gift I've ever received
01:23:10I have the royal nappies your highness
01:23:17thank you
01:23:19you
01:23:19you
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