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Taskmaster AU S03E08
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00:00No!
00:04No!
00:10No!
00:14Please leave us!
00:27Is this good television?
00:38Hello and welcome to Taskmaster Australia.
00:42My name's Tom Gleeson and I came up with this show all by myself
00:45and I've got the paperwork to prove it.
00:47This is the only official version,
00:49so if you see any other Taskmasters out there around the world
00:53with different accents doing whatever, they're frauds.
00:56Tonight, five of Australia's only comedians will be at my mercy
01:00as they attempt to win the official Taskmaster Trophy,
01:04an ancient Greek sculpture of the legendary Adonis himself,
01:07who, as it turns out, looks exactly like me.
01:13All five of our contestants have very similar heads and faces
01:17to the five contestants from all the previous episodes.
01:20They are Aaron Chen,
01:23Conchetta Caristo,
01:25Mel Buttle,
01:28Peter Hellyer,
01:29and Rhys Nicholson.
01:33By my side,
01:35a man who loves being here with us,
01:37mostly because I locked him in the studio.
01:40It's Tom Cashman.
01:45I was just hoping before we kicked things off
01:47that you could validate my parking ticket.
01:50I've already tried validating it,
01:52but I think it needs a bit more.
01:53I've tried saying things like,
01:55you're a perfect parking ticket.
01:58You hold so much information on you,
02:01but I think maybe it needs a bit more.
02:03A bit more validation?
02:04Yeah.
02:05Are you trying to goad me into doing prop comedy?
02:09That's beneath me, I'm sorry.
02:11Alright, that's the formalities done.
02:13Kick us off, Lesser Tom.
02:15Tonight, as always,
02:16we have a prize task.
02:17Each contestant has brought in a prize,
02:19and the winner of tonight's episode
02:20will take home all five prizes.
02:22And tonight,
02:23our contestants have been asked to bring in
02:24what they consider to be
02:25the best conversation starter.
02:28Alright, let's keep these conversations brief.
02:30Conchetta,
02:31what's your conversation starter?
02:33A positive pregnancy test.
02:38For me, in my personal life,
02:40this was a great conversation starter,
02:41because it's like,
02:41how did I get this?
02:43Well, I asked my boyfriend's brother's wife
02:46to piss on a stick for me.
02:49Right.
02:49We weren't very close,
02:51but now we are.
02:54Wouldn't it more be a conversation ender?
02:56Like, you pull it out,
02:57and then people are like,
02:57oh, oh, and they don't know what to say.
02:59Are you crazy?
03:00People would be like,
03:01is it mine?
03:04Congratulations!
03:05No, I think you'd be at a party,
03:06and you'd be like,
03:07you just pissed on a stick,
03:08why are you showing me this?
03:10Well, that's all I got, mate.
03:13Okay. Aaron, what did you bring in?
03:15So, I brought in two books
03:16that you read together at the same time.
03:19The books are
03:20Fight Like a Girl by Clementine Ford,
03:23and the other ones,
03:2412 Rules for Life.
03:29Can you help us, maybe,
03:31with the books a little bit?
03:32Because this is Channel 10,
03:33and no one who watches Channel 10 can read.
03:37Thank you for starting conversation with me.
03:44It is like,
03:45if gender is a spectrum,
03:46this is the spectrum.
03:49Like, I imagine you're on the street,
03:51like, if you were holding
03:52either one of those books,
03:53people would like,
03:53write you off immediately,
03:54they'd be like,
03:55oh, that guy's that,
03:57or that guy's that,
03:58but both of them,
03:59they're like,
04:00what are you?
04:02Alright, Peter,
04:03what did you bring in for a conversation starter?
04:05To get a conversation starter,
04:06imagine you're at a party,
04:07and somebody walks in with...
04:08a monocle.
04:12Yep, I'd have a lot of questions.
04:14Why is Pete wearing a monocle?
04:16Are they prescription?
04:17Are they half the price of regular glasses?
04:20I'd be like,
04:21you're getting older, Pete.
04:22Yeah.
04:22You're not on the project anymore.
04:24They fired you course of your age.
04:27And I think that...
04:28I can finally be honest about that.
04:29And the monocle's making you look older, Pete.
04:32Yeah.
04:32I think you shouldn't wear it,
04:33I think you should get contact lenses
04:34and maybe have a shave.
04:36And you know what, I would...
04:38If you want to look younger,
04:39Yeah.
04:39And appeal to young people.
04:41And I would say, Taskmaster,
04:42I'm glad we had this conversation.
04:47Alright, Rhys, what did you bring in?
04:49I think something that would really get
04:51the conversational juices going
04:53is an unexpected divorce.
04:58This is really more of an experiment.
04:59I've mailed one of these to your wife.
05:05And I guess in a couple days we'll see.
05:09I don't really mind.
05:10I'm in showbiz.
05:11I'll find someone else.
05:15I've met her, she'll have some stuff to say.
05:20Alright, Mel, what did you bring in?
05:22I find what really spreads through a party like Wildfire
05:26and gets multiple people engaged with me
05:28is when I tell them what my job is
05:31and they have a lot of questions.
05:32When are you going back to teaching?
05:35Wow.
05:36Really. Comedy.
05:39To sort of quell those conversations
05:41may be down.
05:42I've got a signed, sealed, certificate in comedy.
05:48Okay, and what did you have to do to qualify?
05:50An eight week Monday night only short course
05:53in stand-up comedy with a performance
05:55at the end of Family and Friends.
05:59And ever since then you've been a comedian,
06:01that's all it took?
06:02Yep.
06:04Okay, well I guess I've got to get some scores here.
06:07Sure do.
06:07Well I'm thinking straight away Conchetta gets one.
06:09Okay.
06:09Because that's a conversation stop and not a starter.
06:12Two points to Reece because that's just a photocopy
06:14of something you found on the internet.
06:16And I'm also feeling a bit the same way
06:17but I know that yours is real Mel
06:19so I'm giving you three points.
06:20I'm going to give four points to Pete for his monocle.
06:22But five points to Aaron Chen for his double book reading.
06:26At two ends of the spectrum.
06:28Alright, let's do a proper task.
06:30Good news for any domestic pets who like to move forwards at a moderate pace
06:33because this one's all about the catwalk.
06:48Hi Mel.
06:49Hello Tom.
06:51How are you doing?
06:52I'm okay.
06:53It's a red carpet.
06:54This is interesting.
06:56It's an envelope.
06:57It's creative.
06:58I like it.
06:59You like little guys?
07:00I've never said that.
07:02It's been years since I've undressed a man on camera.
07:05He's going to rip his clothes off.
07:07I'm actually in a relationship.
07:09Okay.
07:09You've put me in a really awkward position.
07:11Is your partner bigger than this?
07:14Not by law.
07:15Ooh, it's a long one.
07:17Make and model an extravagantly big outfit.
07:20You must complete a return catwalk of the runway
07:23whilst wearing your extravagantly big outfit.
07:27So these tasks are made for me.
07:29Extravagantly biggest outfit at the end of your catwalk wins.
07:33Best modeling will be awarded a bonus point.
07:37Well that's in the bag.
07:38You have 20 minutes before your catwalk must begin.
07:41Your time starts now.
07:42So what does big mean?
07:44What does big mean?
07:45Big and bold?
07:46Or big?
07:47Big.
07:48Big?
07:49Big.
07:51What are you thinking?
07:52I'm thinking big.
07:56Okay, so we're looking for a combination of big and extravagant.
08:00That's right.
08:01Whose extravagance will we be looking at first?
08:03It's Pete Hellyer.
08:14You like it?
08:15Yeah.
08:15It's a bit Berlin in the 80s.
08:19It's a bit Paris in the 17th century.
08:22It's a bit New York in the 40s.
08:24It's a bit Luxembourg in the 90s.
08:28What's the bit from New York in the 1940s?
08:30You don't see it.
08:31You don't see it mate.
08:33Okay.
08:33It's all there.
08:34I'm not here to explain fashion to everybody.
08:39Do you mind if I do a little walk down there?
08:41Oh no, by all means.
08:41Okay.
08:42You know, the catwalk awaits.
08:51Oh my god!
09:06You understand it now?
09:09Some of us are out living life taking risks.
09:11I've made choices today.
09:12You have not made a single choice.
09:13I apologise.
09:14Yeah.
09:15Thanks Pete.
09:15Fashion.
09:22Is that your new look?
09:23It's my new look.
09:24Okay.
09:24I think I'll get the shoulders up a bit.
09:27Are they padding in your shoulders or were you just shrugging?
09:30I couldn't tell.
09:31It was padding and I put it on and then I couldn't work out how to take it off.
09:35And that's fashion.
09:36Fashion happens by, you know, when I'm designing and I'm creating.
09:41I'm just throwing stuff in and I'm making it work, taking stuff out, putting stuff back in.
09:45And then I was really happy with it.
09:47I don't think I've seen Conchetta as excited this whole series.
09:50That was so, your body type changed.
09:52What?
09:54You look like a different person.
09:57I think you were dressed like that when you left the project.
09:59You just walked out and just kept walking.
10:01I said to them, this is what I want to wear now.
10:03And my lead said no.
10:04And I said, well, I'm out.
10:06And I walked out.
10:13Alright, whose extravagance do we get to see now?
10:16It's Conchetta and Mel.
10:18She's modelling the most beautiful wedding gown that is big and extravagant from the collection.
10:23Big and extravagant girls by Mel Bottle for Mel Bottle.
10:25Oh yeah!
10:27Everybody knows me!
10:29Woo!
10:29I'm a big star figuratively and literally and I'm British.
10:34The garment is 100% locally made, artisanal and of course organic.
10:39We show them the train, Tom.
10:40We show them the train.
10:41The audience needs to see.
10:44I'm too good for this music scene.
10:47I've got a big attitude.
10:49And we spin and we show them the back of the garment.
10:53Over the shoulder, hold and turn and exit.
10:58Oh, I'm the king of music.
11:00Peace out and rock.
11:06Come on!
11:08And it was me the whole time.
11:10Alright.
11:13Okay Mel, your costume was long, but was it big?
11:17Those words are interchangeable for each other I feel.
11:20Oh, long and big?
11:21Yeah.
11:21Okay.
11:22Well, you may not have heard them ever said to you.
11:30It was a big train on that wedding dress.
11:32Okay.
11:32Big occasion.
11:33Wedding dress.
11:34Big train.
11:35Tick, tick, tick.
11:35Give it the five points.
11:36Next segment.
11:37Let's go.
11:37Right.
11:38Alright.
11:38The train was 16 metres and 43 centimetres long.
11:41Big.
11:42Centimetres big, we say.
11:43Okay.
11:45Concetta was 2.97 metres tall.
11:48So you were tall, but does that qualify as big?
11:50Yeah.
11:50You were so big.
11:51It was like, I was a rock star, you don't get bigger than that.
11:54I think I've been the biggest so far, just to be frank.
11:56Okay.
11:57I mean, you are only measuring height.
11:59Like, in fact this to me, what about girth?
12:01I mean, I, I, I, this puts me back in the contest.
12:06Alright, this is quite unusual for the fashion industry, but I'm going to let everyone have
12:10a paid break.
12:11See you soon with more looks on Taskmaster.
12:25Welcome back to Taskmaster, where five comedians are trying to win a divorce from Reece Nicholson.
12:30How are they going about it?
12:32Our contestants are modelling their biggest, most extravagant outfits.
12:35Alright, chuck another one on the screen please, Lester Tom.
12:38I'm not sure if this next guy even likes clothes.
12:40When I looked through the keyhole to his dressing room, he was actually taking all of his off.
12:44Darren Chan, your catwalk must begin in 24 seconds.
12:47It must begin?
12:48I didn't know about beginning.
12:50Can you put this on my head Tom?
12:51Okay.
13:36It's a bit of a wardrobe inspection.
13:42I did it in the end.
13:43In terms of outfits, I'd be surprised if that's not the heaviest.
13:52Now, it's weird for me to say this, but that's not the first time in this series that you've worn
13:55a ladder.
13:58A ladder's tall, a giraffe's tall.
14:00Is that what you're thinking?
14:01They're sort of big objects.
14:02Is that what you're going for?
14:03Well, the giraffe in the bag was meant to be like a riff on, you know, how Paris Hilton has
14:08like a chihuahua.
14:11Oh, yeah.
14:14That's what everyone thought.
14:17Aaron's outfit weighed 57 kilograms.
14:22So it was big in weight or mass.
14:25All right.
14:26One more lesser Tom.
14:27This next contestant has another job on a fashion-based show.
14:30So no pressure, Rhys Nicholson.
14:33From the House of Taskmaster, Rhys Nicholson, House and Home Collection.
14:37Oh.
14:38I'm wearing the whole f***ing house.
14:40Oh.
14:41Oh.
14:43And just a gentle purse.
14:46From the House of Taskmaster Collection by Rhys Nicholson, House and Home.
15:00Please, no pictures.
15:04So the Taskmaster House was part of your costume?
15:07Yes.
15:08It was attached.
15:09They were tied and sewn together and cable tied.
15:11It was part of the outfit.
15:12It was very extravagant, definitely.
15:14Very extravagant.
15:15Because, I mean, during a housing crisis, you had a dwelling as part of your attire.
15:18Yeah, yeah.
15:18Not only do I own two houses, I'm wearing one of them.
15:22Rhys's outfit included four bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms,
15:26a full lock-up garage and 24 portraits of Tom Gleeson.
15:30Okay, well, I think it's fair to say that Aaron's costume was shithouse.
15:35So that's a very easy one.
15:36What are you feeling sorry for?
15:39I know he was funny, but he had a f***ing ladder on him and a bunch of...
15:43There was literally nothing going on.
15:46One!
15:53I'm going to have to give Pete two, because it wasn't a big costume, even though it was
15:56big in Luxembourg in the 90s.
15:57So two points.
16:00You know what that means.
16:01That was a reflection on your comedy, Pete.
16:05Your old school 90s comedy, Pete.
16:08One of your best friends.
16:09One of your best friends.
16:11We started at the same f***ing time.
16:17Alright, so then three points to Conchetta.
16:19You were very big in stature, but it was a very impressive train from Mel.
16:22So four points to Mel.
16:23But without doubt, five points has to go to Rhys Nicholson.
16:26Very extravagant and massive.
16:28It was a whole bloody house.
16:33And now the bonus point for best modelling.
16:35Well, that's easy.
16:36It's Pete.
16:39You work the carpet.
16:41Plus you're wearing a wig, which we've already agreed is part of a Peter Helly comedy kit band.
16:47You're looking round at their jokes in there?
16:49No?
16:49Grab a wig.
16:50Grab a wig.
16:54Alright, what does that mean for our scoreboard after two tasks?
16:57Mel, Rhys and Pete are all leading on seven points.
17:03Okay Tom, time for another one I reckon.
17:05What's next?
17:06This next task will make you LOL, which I believe stands for Look On Learnedly.
17:23Hey Tom.
17:24Hi Pete.
17:25How you doing?
17:26I'm alright.
17:28There's nothing here.
17:29Just the task.
17:31Hmm.
17:32Laser focus.
17:33Yeah.
17:34Laugh out loud.
17:36Longest laughing out loud wins.
17:38If you stop for more than two seconds, your laugh has finished.
17:44Your time starts when you begin laughing.
17:50What was I the only one represented in that?
17:54I feel like none of us did that task.
18:07That's awesome.
18:09Should we have a look at the task?
18:11Here's Peter Hellyer.
18:13Did you watch the coronation?
18:15Yeah, I think so.
18:15And there was a hymn that was sung for Camilla.
18:18Mm.
18:18It was in Latin, but it sounded like...
18:22Vagina.
18:23Yeah.
18:24Yeah.
18:24Yeah.
18:25I like vagina, Camilla.
18:29So I'm going to think of that.
18:30Okay.
18:31I'm going to start laughing now.
18:32Yeah.
18:41Oh, my God.
19:12Oh-ho-ho..
19:15Oh.
19:20Yes!
19:24Ah-ha-ha-ha.
19:37I like the dinos.
19:41Once you start thinking of it, it's pretty hard to get out.
19:44He hasn't stopped there.
19:45How long did he go for?
19:46Oh, there's more.
19:49But for now, here's another task.
20:06Hey, Tom.
20:08Mm, good.
20:10Finally read my emails.
20:15Hey, Tom.
20:18Hi, Owen.
20:19Tom, are you mad at me?
20:21No.
20:21For me?
20:22Thank you so much.
20:27Hmm.
20:30Hi.
20:31Hello.
20:33I'll grab that off you.
20:35Make Tom a better man.
20:37I'm out.
20:38Impossible.
20:39He's already perfect.
20:41Betterest Tom wins.
20:44This is what I've been trying to do this whole season.
20:46You have 20 minutes.
20:48I need 20 years.
20:50Your time starts now.
20:52Wow.
20:53Okay, let's go through all the reasons you stink.
20:55What do you think are some qualities that you can improve in your life?
20:59What do you think?
21:01Well, I mean, I think we start by not answering questions with questions.
21:04Okay.
21:08Well, this should be easy.
21:09Who's first?
21:10Renowned scientist Pearl Jam said it was impossible to find a better man.
21:14Let's see if these two can do it.
21:15It's recent concerta.
21:16I think what would make you a better man is if you were, like, more positive and energetic.
21:20I think I would like to make you the taskmaster.
21:24Oh.
21:25This crocodile wants to find a job.
21:28He's a jokester.
21:29He's paranoid.
21:31Oh.
21:32Okay.
21:36We'll work that up in a second.
21:37This is all part of making me better?
21:39Yeah, yeah.
21:40This is making you way better.
21:41What's he paranoid about?
21:42Being scammed.
21:43Oh.
21:45He wants to do figurine work.
21:49Figurine work.
21:50Okay.
21:50What's his name?
21:51Um, Branson.
21:52The key to this is getting that beautiful, perfectly shaped head that the taskmaster has.
21:59He's not completely bald, is he?
22:03Brandon.
22:04Branson!
22:06His name is Branson.
22:09Okay.
22:11Okay.
22:11Come on, man, we don't have much time.
22:15Oh, I need this.
22:16How are you feeling?
22:17Are you feeling, like, better?
22:19You look great.
22:20Do I?
22:20You look better.
22:21Branson, you're such a jokester.
22:23People love having you around.
22:25Any workplace would be lucky to have you there, Branson.
22:28And I think you'd be especially suited to making figurines because you kind of look like a figurine.
22:32So I guess with these last 32 seconds, I could give you the kind of experience of Taskmaster.
22:39So I'll be you.
22:40Oh, welcome.
22:41Welcome to Taskmaster.
22:43Brrr.
22:45Brrr.
22:46Brrr.
22:47Forget about being scammed, okay?
22:49It's not going to be a problem.
22:51But now it lets everyone hear from the best person in the whole world.
22:55It's the Taskmaster.
23:26Hi there.
23:26Bye.
23:28Bye.
23:33I can't fault your logic there, Rhys.
23:35Yeah.
23:35I am better than Tom.
23:36So making him me makes him better.
23:39I think even sketching the surface of the deeply complicated, huge figure that we have in our entertainment system that
23:46is you made him a better man.
23:50It's a bit weird having them suck up to me like that.
23:53Thank you for saying both suck up and my correct pronouns are the same thing.
23:57It really tickled me in two different ways.
24:00Okay, now Conchetta, what the f*** was that about?
24:04I had no idea what was going on.
24:07I think most people at home were thinking what was going on except the people who live in your share
24:11house were like, we know exactly what's going on.
24:16So Tom Cashman just watches on while we struggle every single day of his life.
24:22So I thought, what if we made this man help someone for God's sake, right, instead of helping himself.
24:28So I played the character of a crocodile who wanted to go into the arts.
24:35Oh, I'm understanding it now, yeah.
24:39Tom, it's not going to make the edit.
24:41Stop.
24:41Can I have some of that?
24:42Tom, stop.
25:03All right, so you're trying to make him a better person, right?
25:05But did you feel like a better person from this weird role play that you're involved in?
25:09Conchetta gave me one piece of advice throughout the whole 20-minute role play.
25:15I'm buttoning this button here.
25:19Loosen them all.
25:21All right, Lissa Tom, would you like to have a go at throwing to the ad break?
25:24Really?
25:25Yeah, you can do it.
25:26Okay.
25:26Hey, everyone.
25:27Have you ever felt like you're going to get a break going on?
25:31No, no, no.
25:32I hate it.
25:35It's break time.
25:35See you soon with more Taskmaster.
25:47Welcome back to Taskmaster, where Aaron Chen has offered his fellow comedians the opportunity
25:52to win two books that would start some very civil discussion on a site called Reddit.
25:59Now, Lissa Tom, where did we leave off?
26:01Our contestants are trying to make me a better man.
26:04Okay, who's next?
26:05Well, that would be Peter Hellyer.
27:18He still hasn't stopped there.
27:19How long did he laugh for?
27:20He's not done.
27:23And I'd like to point out, when I finish, I had a migraine for the next like an hour.
27:31Because I reckon you're laughing at, you pretended a little bit and then you just couldn't stop
27:34laughing.
27:35Yeah, that's exactly what happened.
27:36It was fake laugh and then it went into, rolled into real laughter and then like fake
27:39laugh a bit and then real laughter.
27:40And then he laughed.
27:41Then you laughed at him laughing.
27:43Yeah.
27:43It's a good pain.
27:44All right.
27:44Well, Lissa Tom, who's next in the real task?
27:47Anthropology expert Robbie Williams thought better men were actually very possible.
27:51So maybe it will be no trouble for Aaron Chen and Mel Buttle.
27:53How do I make you cooler, better looking, more muscly, more masculine?
27:59We might have to take this blazer off, loosen up a bit.
28:02Undo this button.
28:03Oh.
28:03Undo this button.
28:04Oh.
28:06You know what?
28:07That's enough.
28:08Just going to put that as chest hair, but you're already packing.
28:11Muscles.
28:12To make you some muscles.
28:13What's the, what's the pink thing?
28:14It's kind of like a bicep.
28:16Shove these things where your biceps would be if, where the bicep, where your biceps are.
28:22Holy smokes, we're looking nice.
28:26Would you like an awesome drink?
28:28What kind of thing?
28:29How about Bloody Mary?
28:30That's cool.
28:31Yeah, it's awesome.
28:32I'm just going to fill this in.
28:34Yeah, and it's working exactly as I had imagined in my, in my vision.
28:38This is how to make a Bloody Mary?
28:39Yeah.
28:40It's like kind of a better version of it.
28:42Okay.
28:43Men like to eat spicy food.
28:44How's your spice tolerance?
28:46Oh, I'd say medium.
28:47Probably that's, that's probably enough.
28:48We'll get you to extremely hot.
28:51Also, I want you to have a different name.
28:53I think your name should be Leonardo.
28:56You can drink that, by the way.
28:58Oh, really?
28:59Yeah.
29:02Oh, how is that?
29:04It's extremely chilly.
29:05You should be like in a crouching puppy position like this.
29:08When you turn that way, say I'm the captain and then take a big sip.
29:12I'm the captain.
29:17How do you feel?
29:18I feel like I've got a warm throat.
29:20Hi there, I'm Leonardo Cashman Parnell.
29:23I'm thoughtful, but I'm also strong and my beard is black, not, it doesn't have any red
29:28tinges in it because that's lame.
29:31The Bloody Mary has reached my stomach.
29:33I might need to.
29:33Is your stomach actually in pain?
29:35Hmm.
29:36You're sweating quite profusely.
29:38Like, should I take a sip as empathy?
29:41It's up to you if you want some.
29:43Oh, that's not really tricky.
29:47I would like to make a few statements.
29:49I donate every month and I always take the bus.
29:52No weird DMs from me.
29:54I have to go straight home to feed my rescue dogs.
29:57I let women speak in meetings.
30:03Perfection.
30:04You're kind of more muscly, you're a hairier guy and you have a higher spice tolerance than
30:10before by quite a bit.
30:14Oh.
30:25That is quite hot.
30:28What does the law say in terms of, like, if Tom dies after this?
30:38So, Mel, now at one point you made him say that he listens to women in meetings, is that
30:43right?
30:43Wrong.
30:44He lets women speak in meetings.
30:45Oh.
30:46Okay.
30:47Well, that was definitely an improvement because I've been in meetings with Tom Cashman and
30:51there are no women there.
30:54Because it's Australian TV, so.
30:58This is shocking and new information I haven't realised before.
31:02Two straight white men in charge.
31:04Oh, not again.
31:05Oh.
31:08So, Aaron, that drink was a bit spicy, wasn't it?
31:11It was really spicy.
31:12For some reason, there was an unlabeled bottle of the hottest sauce you can buy.
31:20I almost vomited.
31:21I had to eat lots of food quickly, which kind of calmed it down.
31:24And that made you better.
31:32All right, which Improver can we see next?
31:34He, at the very least, makes me feel like a beta man, it's Peter Hellyer.
31:37I think I know that's actually the perfect way to make you a better man.
31:39Back in the seat.
31:40Watch out for that.
31:41What's your favourite charity?
31:42Oh.
31:43I might need your credit card details as well.
31:45Do you want me to get a credit card?
31:46I'm going to make a sizeable donation.
31:47Okay.
31:48And that you'll be a better man.
31:49I'll need your face as well.
31:50You're logging into my American Express.
31:53You just go to the charity website.
31:55I was going to try to pay some fines as well.
31:57Oh, okay.
31:58Yeah, that one.
31:58Here we go.
31:59Let's press donate.
32:00Do you want to press it?
32:00I don't understand why it's just me doing it.
32:02Where are you going?
32:02A thousand?
32:06Do you like a better man?
32:07Okay.
32:08Do you want more?
32:10Do you want more?
32:11No, it's probably...
32:12That's good.
32:14About 2,000.
32:15Yeah, we'll write a comment.
32:17My name is Tom, and I want to be a better man.
32:20How long have I got?
32:20I don't want to have a time.
32:21Seven minutes and 29 seconds.
32:22Oh, we're going to donate some other charities as well.
32:24This is fun.
32:25Make donation anonymous?
32:26No, thanks.
32:27You want people to know?
32:29Create a donor account and manage my donations and donate again faster?
32:32Yes, please.
32:33Absolutely.
32:34This won't be the last time you hear from old Tommy Cashman.
32:37He's a better man.
32:38Oh, it's gone through.
32:38There it is.
32:39It's gone through.
32:40I'm sure they'll be in touch about future donations.
32:43Do you feel like a better man?
32:45I mean, yeah, on paper.
32:47I feel better.
32:47You look better.
32:48I look better?
32:49Yeah.
32:49Yeah.
32:56So just to be clear, that wasn't for show, was it?
32:58You actually did that.
32:59I donated $1,000 of his money to a charity, a women's shelter.
33:05Which country?
33:05Do you remember which country it was?
33:06It was the Fistula Foundation, which works throughout Africa, I think.
33:10I don't know a specific country.
33:11Do fantastic work, and they had $1,000 better off, and Tom's a better man.
33:16But once the task was done, you just transferred $1,000 into his account?
33:20No.
33:20It's not about making me a better man.
33:22But what I did was donate this same amount of money to that charity.
33:27Okay.
33:28But did you do that because you just forgot what the charity was?
33:31I'm going to do it after the show.
33:36All right.
33:38Well, I've got to do some scores here.
33:40I'm going to give one point to Conchetta, because I've got no idea what she was doing.
33:43I'm going to give two points to Aaron Chen.
33:45To be honest, he made you worse.
33:47He almost killed me.
33:49I'm going to give three points to Mel, for just bringing women's rights to the fore.
33:54Four points to Rhys, but because he actually followed through with it, and forced you to
33:59spend money you didn't want to spend, Peter Hellyer for five points.
34:05Thank you, Tom.
34:06Thank you, Tom.
34:07A good man.
34:07All right, and to anybody inspired by that last task, you've got an opportunity to donate
34:12to charity yourselves while we take an ad break.
34:15If you're a little short, I'll be posting Tom Cashman's full credit card details, along
34:19with the expiry and CVC, on all my social media accounts.
34:23See you soon with more Taskmaster.
34:35Welcome back to Taskmaster.
34:37There's the time to tell the people what's happening.
34:39Hello, people.
34:42You know what they say, glove is blind.
34:57Hi, Mel.
34:58G'day, maggot.
34:59Hey, Tom.
34:59Hi, Pete.
35:00How are you?
35:01Hello.
35:03For me?
35:04Mm-hmm.
35:05Is yours?
35:06The dishes?
35:07Yeah.
35:07Yeah, sorry about that.
35:08That's all right.
35:11Wearing your glove.
35:12Shake hands with the other 12 gloves.
35:14And guess their contents.
35:16Oh, this is fun.
35:18You may shake hands with each glove for no more than 10 seconds.
35:22You may not lean over or walk around the bench.
35:24Most correct guesses wins.
35:26You have 10 minutes.
35:27Your time starts now.
35:28I love this challenge.
35:31Let's do it.
35:35Seems pretty straightforward to me.
35:37Who's on first?
35:37It's Concetta and Mel.
35:40Oh, come on.
35:45Oops.
35:48That is...
35:49I'd like to lock in jam.
35:51Okay.
35:52Water.
35:54I've got no sensation, Tom.
35:57Disengage from the hand.
35:59Clay.
36:00You know what's coming to mind?
36:02Go on, Blake's.
36:03But I know it's not that.
36:04Okay.
36:05Just put it.
36:06Who gives a...
36:07shit?
36:09Therese Bubblegum.
36:11Oh, my God.
36:13Buzz, buzz.
36:13Buzz, buzz.
36:14I know chocolate fell at the back of my hand.
36:21Erasers.
36:22Erasers.
36:22Apple slices, mate.
36:26It's the soupy one.
36:28Some sort of liquid.
36:30Water.
36:30Pancake batter.
36:36It's a piece of material.
36:38I would say it's a bunch of gloves stuffed in the glove.
36:41It's a cold gel.
36:43That's lube.
36:44That is red gaudial.
36:47This one.
36:48Oh, sorry.
36:49Are you going to kill me?
36:57Oh, God.
36:59I said it.
37:00That's bark.
37:02That's garden bark.
37:03Maybe door stoppers.
37:07Please disengage from the hand.
37:08Is that slime?
37:10That's like slime.
37:11Gloopy ice?
37:13Gloopy ice?
37:14Or like dry ice or something.
37:16Dry ice?
37:17Yes.
37:18Hmm.
37:21Balloons.
37:22Sleep mask.
37:23Sleep mask.
37:24The finale.
37:25Hmm.
37:27That's dice.
37:28Dice, dice, dice, dice.
37:31How confident are you?
37:33Medium.
37:34All right, let's go.
37:40Okay, you got some scores there?
37:42Canchetta was correct on four.
37:43Then five points for Mel.
37:44I should inform you there was a bit of a clue.
37:46So there were 12 gloves in total.
37:48And the thing in each glove sounds like the relevant month.
37:53So Mayo was in the May or the fifth glove.
37:56August was the one that I was putting air into.
38:00So there were some clues available to you.
38:02Yeah, we must be so dumb.
38:06All right, well, let's see if anyone did better.
38:08Who's next?
38:09Here's Peter Hellyer.
38:10Oh, yeah.
38:19Oh, yeah.
38:21Oh, yeah.
38:27Oh, yeah.
38:28Oh, yeah.
38:28aquele of our¸34 queen.
38:32Yeah, yeah.
38:33Oh, yeah.
38:34Ah, yeah.
38:37Oh, yeah.
38:47Okay.
38:48Okay.
38:50I'm getting a headache now.
38:53I'm done.
39:01I need to lie down.
39:03Okay.
39:04Thanks Pete.
39:04Thanks.
39:20Okay, so how long did Peter laugh for?
39:25In the end.
39:26Nine minutes and nine seconds.
39:33Well, none of the other comedians did that task, which means that Peter Hellyer won.
39:38Yeah, so five points to Pete.
39:41Thank you, Pastor.
39:45So what were we actually doing again?
39:46We were shaking hands with 12 gloves.
39:49Here's actually Peter Hellyer and Rhys too.
39:51This is...
39:52It's my washing up, sorry.
39:54Do you have a handshake style?
39:55I like to go pretty firm.
40:00Please disengage from the hand.
40:02They're like my fiance.
40:03Dice.
40:04Okay.
40:05Dice.
40:06This is softer.
40:07Balloons that haven't...
40:08Balloons.
40:09This sounds insane.
40:10A whole bunch of fake mustaches.
40:12Circular and cold.
40:15That was like cold, hopefully fake dog turds.
40:19Frozen calamari?
40:20Yeah, I'm not sure why you'd put the fake dog turds in the fridge.
40:23It's a weird show.
40:26I guess pasta.
40:28Wood chips and a automatic car key.
40:31Before you do this one.
40:38Air?
40:40It's air.
40:41Or is it...
40:42It's helium.
40:42This is...
40:44Jelly.
40:45It's water.
40:46Water or orange juice.
40:48Oh that feels gross.
40:50Rubber bands?
40:51I was shaking a rubber glove and I think there's more rubber gloves stuffed in there.
40:55This is...
40:56I reckon...
40:57Moose.
40:58That was like an iced coffee.
41:00These are...
41:02It's almost like a wooden fruit that would teach kids about fruit.
41:07Baked good.
41:08Baked good.
41:08That had a little turdy feel to it.
41:10I don't think you'd have a real turd and a fake turd.
41:13So I think this is like confection, like chocolate.
41:17Hundreds and thousands in there.
41:19Cookie batter.
41:20Cookie batter.
41:20Unbaked good.
41:23That is...
41:24Sludge.
41:25And this is...
41:29I reckon that's mud.
41:31It's a Coke float.
41:33How do you reckon you're at?
41:34Probably 10.
41:3510 out of 12?
41:359, 10.
41:36So confident.
41:37Yeah.
41:54Yeah, so...
41:56There was a clue with them all sounding like months of the year.
42:00And then there was that clue where they were just written out in your glove.
42:03That first clue was a shit clue and that second one is a much better clue.
42:09Not only did Pete not pick up either clues, he was the only contestant not to get air.
42:15I said air.
42:16And then I changed it to helium, didn't I?
42:18Yeah.
42:18Why did you choose helium, which is actually quite rare and hard to get into a blow dryer?
42:23I had a headache still from laughing, but...
42:25Six hours.
42:26I can't believe I guessed fake mustaches.
42:30Yeah, that...
42:31That's wild.
42:32Particularly without understanding the clue Movember.
42:35Well, I don't support charities.
42:37I...
42:37I don't...
42:39I do.
42:40Yeah.
42:42What are the scores there?
42:43Pete got two correct out of 12.
42:46And, uh, Rhys, we need a determination of whether wood chips and an automatic car key is close enough to
42:51soap and timber.
42:51Maybe half points?
42:53Half points?
42:54Okay.
42:54So, Rhys got 6.5 out of 12 correct.
42:57Time to fit the grubby little myth that is an ad break into this perfect five-fingered glove of a
43:02TV show.
43:03Back with more Taskmaster soon.
43:13Look, I know you're watching it now, but how about watching more later?
43:16Catch every moment of triumph and utter humiliation of Taskmaster Australia with full episodes at 10play.com.au or the
43:2310play app.
43:29Welcome back to Taskmaster Australia.
43:31Lizzy Tom, give us a recap.
43:33Our contestants are trying to guess which mystery items are inside the gloves that they're shaking hands with.
43:37This next guy was born to wear gloves literally.
43:40He has two hands and fingers.
43:42It's Aaron Chen.
43:44What are these for?
43:45Just some dishes.
43:51But what are these pictures about?
43:53I'm just going to start.
43:53It's just my calendar.
43:55Okay, I'm just going to start from January.
43:57Oh.
43:57Jam.
43:58February.
43:59You look at the photo first and then you shake.
44:02Okay.
44:02That's your method?
44:03Must be like...
44:05That's hundreds and thousands.
44:08Chocolate bars.
44:09Apple.
44:12Whoa.
44:17Very nice.
44:18Okay, so this one is some sort of picture of...
44:21It's a gene.
44:22It's a gene.
44:23That's a gene.
44:23I can feel a button.
44:24So you've got...
44:28Jelly.
44:29Before you do that one.
44:31Oh my gosh.
44:34Air.
44:36Air.
44:37Air? Okay.
44:37Yep.
44:38formally.
44:41I'm going to have to say soap.
44:43Soap.
44:43Ok.
44:46October.
44:48Going to say shells.
44:50shells?
44:51Hat.
44:52Bits of hat.
44:53It's a hat.
44:54Bits of hat.
44:55Interesting.
44:57Dice.
44:59Thanks Aaron.
45:00Thank you very much.
45:06Okay, so Aaron obviously did quite a good job there.
45:10What were you all thinking that dishwashing water was for?
45:13Just that prop.
45:14Yeah, prop time.
45:15What, just to look cool?
45:16Yeah.
45:16You went straight in there, didn't you?
45:17Yeah, I had to splash around, had to look.
45:20I should also note, Aaron accidentally revealed a few by squeezing too hard.
45:25I think we're allowing it as long as it wasn't done deliberately,
45:27which I think it wasn't in Mel and Aaron's case.
45:30Do you just have a very firm handshake?
45:32Yeah, it's about confidence.
45:37I don't think I've shaken your hand, but I suspect it,
45:40I don't imagine it would be that firm.
45:42It would feel firm if your hand was made of mayo.
45:49Okay.
45:51So what are the final scores for the task?
45:53Well, so Aaron got a total of 9.5 correct out of 12.
45:59Which means Pete gets one point,
46:01Conchetta two, Mel three,
46:02Reece four,
46:03and Aaron wins the task with five points.
46:07And can we get a little status update on the scoreboard, please, Lesser Tom?
46:11Absolutely.
46:12Peter Hellyer, 18 points.
46:13You're out in front.
46:17All right, everyone, you know what that means.
46:19Head on up those stairs for a live task.
46:26Lesser Tom, I do love a bath.
46:28What's going on?
46:29Mel, could you please read the task?
46:30Here we go.
46:31All right.
46:31Okay.
46:32Toss your duck into the bath.
46:35All contestants must be blindfolded whilst others throw.
46:39If your duck misses, you are eliminated.
46:42If no one's duck misses,
46:44the contestant who tossed their duck from the closest will be eliminated.
46:47The crowd has been instructed to cheer adoringly for every toss,
46:51regardless of its outcome.
46:54You may lap that adoration up as you wish.
46:58Aaron, please step up to the plate.
47:09Mel.
47:12Fuck.
47:19Cakes.
47:28Conchetta.
47:34Rhys?
47:41Rhys?
47:42Rhys?
47:44Rhys?
47:46Rhys?
47:47Rhys?
47:47Mel, you have been eliminated.
47:49Please sit down on the elimination couch.
47:52Aaron?
47:56Rhys?
47:59Rhys?
48:18Rhys?
48:19Rhys?
48:19Rhys?
48:20Rhys?
48:20Rhys?
48:22Rhys?
48:23Rhys?
48:28Rhys?
48:28Rhys?
48:29Rhys?
48:29Eliminated.
48:30Yeah.
48:32Aaron.
48:40Pete.
48:45Conchetta.
48:55Both Aaron and Pete had their toes on around the 3.4 metre mark.
49:00It's very, very close.
49:02Aaron, we've checked the footage.
49:04You were a toe closer.
49:05You have been eliminated.
49:07We are down to the final round.
49:09Pete.
49:18Conchetta.
49:27Conchetta is the winner of the prize.
49:34All right, go and have a bath.
49:35We're going to have an ad break.
49:36We'll be back with the winner soon.
49:48Welcome back to Taskmaster where Peter Hellyer has had the giggles for most of the episode
49:53about the King's wife's Fanny.
49:56Who took out the points for their ducky bath tossy Tom?
50:00Mel splashed out on one point.
50:01Rhys got two.
50:02Aaron three.
50:03Pete got four.
50:03But Conchetta was the lucky duck with five points.
50:07And the question on everyone's lips.
50:10Who is our winner tonight?
50:12Despite her live task performance, Conchetta's in last place with 12 points.
50:16But Peter Hellyer wins his first episode of 22 points.
50:22Congratulations, Peter.
50:24Please go and collect your prizes and get ready for the most scintillating conversations you've
50:29ever had in your life.
50:35Pete, whilst you've put on your monocle and flicked through Aaron's Jordan Peterson book,
50:39how about an update on the season score, Lesser Tom?
50:43Well, almost everyone is within four points of each other.
50:46But the season lead up by one teeny tiny point is Aaron Chen on 127 points.
50:53And there you have it.
50:54Our eighth episode done and dusted.
50:56But what did we learn?
50:57We learnt that Aaron Chen is less concerned about climbing the comedy ladder
51:01and more about wearing it.
51:03We learnt that Conchetta's boyfriend's brother's wife's pregnant.
51:07OMG, yay!
51:10And we learnt that Pete did one more task than everyone else.
51:14LOL!
51:15But most importantly, we learnt Peter Hellyer is the winner of episode eight.
51:20See you all next week!
51:40I've got that special feeling in my tummy, Tom.
51:43Kill these women.
51:45Don't do what you're doing.
51:48Anyway, I've got my meds and we're all good.
51:50Smart.
51:51She's not even Italian.
51:52Wow!
51:55Give me a tea!
51:56Shut up.
51:57You're a nightmare.
51:58A fun fact, I lost my virginity in a tent.
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