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Short filmTranscript
00:03You
00:07Open your legs up for me.
00:09Why?
00:10Like that?
00:12Like that?
00:18Oh yeah, right there.
00:23Are you sure you're ready for me to take your virginity?
00:25This is the only thing I've ever wanted in my whole life.
00:28I only want you.
00:32Your mother's gonna kill me.
00:35But I don't care.
00:37Oh, you've gotta be kidding me.
00:38I'm living with Brett Harrison.
00:40The same Brett Harrison.
00:42I accidentally emailed a ten-page smut about us.
00:45Uh, Ellie, my eyes are up here.
00:48What?
00:49I'm sorry.
00:50Allie, quit drooling.
00:51Come on, that's gross.
00:52I wasn't, I wouldn't call it drooling.
00:54I would say it's zoning out.
00:55Uh-huh.
00:56And dude, you gotta start wearing a shirt.
00:58Put some actual pants on.
00:59You can't go commando in front of my little sister.
01:01Yeah, just get out of the chair.
01:02I don't care, man.
01:03Alright?
01:04You're on watch duty now.
01:05You gotta keep the horny jacks away from her.
01:07Okay?
01:08And remember, most important part, road code.
01:10Wow, what's on the email?
01:11Anything, uh, scandalous or inappropriate?
01:14Anything I should, uh, know about?
01:16Nothing.
01:17Nothing.
01:17Because you know, like I am, gonna be looking after you now.
01:20I made a promise to Ron.
01:21So, uh, if there's anything I need to know about, you should, uh, tell me.
01:25No, nothing.
01:26Nothing scandalous.
01:27I, I'm gonna go.
01:28Actually, I have to go.
01:29Oh, good to see you.
01:34Okay.
01:35Deep breath.
01:36This is my year.
01:38New city.
01:39New school.
01:40I'm gonna make this squad.
01:42And I'm not going to think about Brett's stupid, perfect abs.
01:48Oh, my God.
01:49You, uh, lost baby girl?
01:51Cause, uh, you just come here for a show.
01:53We lost, and we still gotta stop.
01:55We still.
01:59Hope you brought your meat pads, virgin.
02:02No!
02:03No!
02:04Don't be shy, baby.
02:06Turn around.
02:08Whoa.
02:12Look, I'm, I'm here in official business.
02:15Okay?
02:15I just, I need to see the cat.
02:16Captain.
02:16I actually, uh, I have a captain right here.
02:19You looking for me?
02:21What do you think you're doing in the boys' locker room?
02:23Brett?
02:24He's the football captain?
02:26Of course he is.
02:28Who else could it be?
02:30Look, I need to ask you something.
02:32You know, you have a habit of walking in on me when I'm half naked.
02:36Brett, this is serious, okay?
02:37The girls on the cheerleading team said that I need to ask your permission to be put on the squad.
02:41Elson, I think these girls are messing with you.
02:43I am the captain of the team, but that doesn't mean I decide the roster the coach is in.
02:48Oh, my God.
02:49Turn.
02:50Uh, I, I have to go.
02:53I finally did it.
02:54The thing I fantasized about since I was 12 years old.
02:58I kissed my brother's best friend.
03:00And holy hell, it felt good.
03:04The captain just got sacked by the team version!
03:09Touchdown!
03:11I slipped.
03:18You guys are benched.
03:20It's just a joke.
03:22Seriously.
03:24Okay, come on.
03:25What?
03:26Just give it back.
03:27Whatever you...
03:28Hold on.
03:29You're texting Chad?
03:31I've been blocked for a month, but you're texting Chad at midnight.
03:35You know, Chad is a walking STD.
03:36He sleeps with everything that moves.
03:37Are you, are you into that?
03:39We're doing a school project together.
03:40Ah, a school project.
03:42Yes!
03:42You know, Chad is definitely known for his academic passions.
03:45Well, it's the truth.
03:46So, can you just give me my phone back, please?
03:48Hold on.
03:49Let me do something really quick.
03:50What are you doing?
03:51There you go.
03:52Chad is deleted.
03:54What?
03:54What?
03:54Stop!
03:55They're already done.
03:56Oh my God.
03:58Even my stories didn't go that far.
03:59I mean, if we actually have sex in real life, would I even survive that?
04:03You have double XL condoms, do you see?
04:06I'll tell you this.
04:07It's for grownups.
04:09Do you actually use those?
04:10Yeah.
04:11They use your face.
04:13There's no way.
04:14That's like a sleeping bag.
04:16What would you like to know?
04:22Yeah, well, you're the one leaving your stash out in the open, so...
04:25Yeah, you're the one who cackled me in the boys locker room.
04:32I'm your roommate.
04:33And I'm also your brother's best friend.
04:37So, he does just see me as a liability.
04:41Yeah.
04:42We're roommates.
04:43And that means we're equals.
04:45Mm-hmm.
04:46And that means you don't get to tell me what to do.
04:49So, you're forgetting the point where I said that I am your brother's best friend.
04:53And Ryan's already given me permission to boss you around and do whatever I want you to do to make
04:57sure that you're safe.
04:58Why don't you consider me your brother Pro Max?
05:11Oh my God.
05:13Did you actually show up in lingerie?
05:19Look, everyone.
05:20The strippers arrived.
05:23Let's all give Little Miss Hooker a round of applause for being tonight's entertainment.
05:29Thanks.
05:30At least I don't look so ordinary.
05:33You spend so much of your...
05:34Lick it up.
05:44Brett?
05:46What's up?
05:47Where are you?
05:49I'm at Club Five.
05:50I, um...
05:51I lost a dare.
05:53Yeah?
05:54What kind of dare?
05:57I need a man to claim me in front of everyone.
06:01Allison, are you asking me to go to a club after I told you that I didn't think it was
06:05a good idea?
06:05For you to go outside?
06:06Come on, Brett.
06:08Please, this is serious.
06:09Can you just come get me?
06:12How dare you even think, Brett?
06:14He'd rather die than be seen with a slut like you.
06:17You literally stalked him into the men's showers.
06:22I'm surprised he hasn't signed a restraining order yet.
06:24What?
06:29Where do you think you're going?
06:30Grab her.
06:31What?
06:32No!
06:32Get off of me!
06:34You lost the dare.
06:35You pay the price.
06:38You need to loosen up.
06:40You couldn't get Brett's touching, that's fine.
06:42We'll help you lower your standards.
06:44Don't you ever put your hands on my girl again?
06:54Brett, this is a total overreaction.
06:58Jason and Allie were just having fun together.
07:00I mean, look at how she's dressed.
07:02She's practically begging for it.
07:14You know, I better not see any videos of this online,
07:16or else you are fucking dumb.
07:19I'm losing my mind.
07:21I know the rules, but look at her.
07:24All I can think, just this once.
07:28What?
07:32Just say it!
07:32Just say it!
07:33I'm really trying not to get you hurt in all this.
07:36Cause I'm just Ron's little sister?
07:38No.
07:39It's the only reason you look at me, huh?
07:41That is not true.
07:42Then tell me that you don't feel anything when you look at me.
07:45Tell me there's nothing happening right now!
07:47I can't.
07:49You can't actually do anything about it either.
07:52Please don't stop.
08:12What are you doing, Brett?
08:14I'm ruining everything.
08:18What are you doing, Brett?
08:27You know, what's up, loser?
08:29I swear to God, guys.
08:31What are you doing right now?
08:32Talk to me.
08:33Face time to Ron.
08:37What is he doing?
08:38Is he seriously going to kiss me in front of Ron?
08:45Yeah, your eyes are super red.
08:47Hey, Ron, what's up, man?
08:48What?
08:49Allie called me, dumbass, and I had to sign up to see your face two inches away from hers.
08:54So you guys better have a good-ass explanation right now, or I'm going to come over there and beat
08:58your ass.
08:59It's...
08:59It was an accident, okay?
09:01We just...
09:05All right, ladies.
09:07Physical assessments today.
09:09Allison, you're up first.
09:11Allison, you're up first.
09:37No, I'm not jealous.
09:39What was that?
09:39I promised Ron that I would take you.
09:41Keeping the vultures away.
09:42Just doing my job.
09:46First exercise, partner sit-ups.
09:51All right, come on.
09:53You first.
09:59Let's go!
10:00We don't have all day!
10:01You ready, Bucky?
10:03I'm trying to detox Brett, but how am I supposed to do that if he's everywhere?
10:08Let's go!
10:09We don't have all day!
10:11You want to play?
10:16What the hell am I doing?
10:18You okay, Brett?
10:20I'm okay.
10:21And done!
10:22Allison, you killed it today.
10:24You're going to be our lead flyer in the next game.
10:28Really?
10:29Wow, thank you.
10:34Congratulations.
10:35Good flirting, you two.
10:42You know what I need.
10:50Why aren't you still here?
10:51Why wouldn't I be here?
10:52This is my morning routine.
10:54I don't know.
10:54It's 8.30.
10:56Isn't the whole cheer squad supposed to be meeting today at 7 o'clock for like a hair and makeup
10:59thing?
10:59What?
11:00Nobody told me that.
11:03Oh my God, she's going to kill me.
11:05This is how I'm going to get kicked off the team.
11:07She's going to kill me because I'm late for our first performance.
11:10Hey, hey, hey, hey.
11:10It's okay.
11:11Okay.
11:12Okay.
11:31Hey, sorry I'm late.
11:32I didn't know the call time was 7 a.m.
11:35Don't make excuses, Scott.
11:37Late is late.
11:38You're just too lazy.
11:47Hey.
11:49What's your problem?
11:50My problem is you dragging the whole team down.
11:53It's the first game and you can't even be on time.
11:56Like I said, nobody...
12:02All right.
12:03Hey, listen.
12:04Use my jersey.
12:05Make it look better than the original.
12:07All right?
12:31Oh shit.
12:33Is that even Allison?
12:34Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome our State University cheerleading squad.
12:41I'm okay.
12:43One, two, three, go.
12:45Woo.
12:49Shout out loud.
12:54Uh-huh.
12:55Uh-huh.
12:56Uh-huh.
12:56Oh, yeah.
13:02Oh, yeah.
13:03Oh, yeah.
13:03Uh-huh.
13:20Within the team.
13:20He's on the 30-yard line.
13:22Yeah.
13:22The 20, the 10.
13:27Touchdown!
13:28Harrison does it again!
13:30State wins!
13:31Oh!
13:32Good job!
13:34Woo!
13:35Woo!
13:38No!
13:40Woo!
13:41Woo!
13:46Hey!
13:47Yes! Yes!
13:48Yes! Yes! Yes!
13:51Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
13:53Yes! Yes! Yes!
13:55Now we got ourselves
13:57a good old kiss cam standoff.
13:59I haven't seen one of these in years.
14:00Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
14:03Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
14:04Come on, Allison. Let's give the people what they want.
14:07I know I shouldn't kiss
14:08my brother's best friend.
14:13Oh, but I want it.
14:15Yes! Yes! Yes!
14:17Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
14:19Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
14:22Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
14:22Yes! Yes!
14:24Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
14:26I can't believe this is happening.
14:28KISS CAM.
14:28Me and breast.
14:39Allison...
14:39don't pass out.
14:41Don't pass out.
14:44Thanks for keeping chatted, bae.
14:46No problem.
14:55this is insane i shouldn't kiss my best friend's sister but it feels
15:04what the hell do you think you're doing kissing my sister and from the entire school
15:08ron just calm down okay you're making a scene i'm making a scene yeah i'm making a scene
15:12you two were swallowing each other's faces on the jumbotron stop beating like this okay
15:18are you serious right now if i hadn't stepped in you two would have needed to get a room
15:24you're unbelievable i hate you
15:30dude i'm no no no you cut the crap you tell me right now what's happening between you
15:34okay hey we need to talk no i sound like a mom this is ridiculous why am i texting him
15:45he's
15:45literally in the next room you know what just go in there just ask him hey brett what the
15:53hell was that kiss he kissed me back he can't deny it this time it's recorded and live streamed
16:00okay do or die
16:12at least chad is honest about what he wants you don't think i'm being honest
16:21oh it's getting hot in here you know biology whether it's biology or not i'm the one who's causing
16:36allie
16:37allie
16:37you guys out here
16:38fucking shit what the fuck is he doing here allie hey just get under get out of what
16:49allie hi
16:50you're showing alone yeah but i'm naked
16:53why i'm naked get out
16:58you're you're not though
17:00okay well i also have a vibe and you're ruining it so i'm sorry i just i wanted to get
17:06my charger
17:06i left it on here yesterday you got it so i also wanted to say that
17:12i think you did a great job today and what was that
17:19sorry i got water in my nose okay i'm okay don't drown okay okay have a good soak i guess
17:25okay bye
17:34god the illegal's gonna die
17:37good talk
17:38wait
17:42i have to ask you something
17:44i'm going to ask him out on a date don't be the little sister allison be the girl he kissed
17:49there's this
18:00look charity case is running a charity sale she's finally getting back did you know allison
18:05hand makes these little trinkets it's giving kindergarten arts and crafts i didn't know you
18:10two were coming together i came by myself brett was kind enough to help me with my family's
18:17donation daddy donated a little of his collection nothing major just some birkin bags some vintage
18:22Rolex watches are you insane you actually want this garbage you know i value the artist that's
18:27just how expensive something looks so five hundred dollars what's that supposed to mean she's
18:31nothing no you're nothing especially compared to her how dare you compare me to this peasant
18:39why don't you get out of here no i'm serious don't come back to this table again
18:47you know i do think this stuff is pretty what are you doing what do you mean you can't keep
18:51doing this to me you blew me off yesterday and then today you come and you buy all of my
18:56jewelry
19:02there she is my guest of honor damn allison you look sexy oh thanks
19:14it's a cool party yeah you know i threw this whole thing just for you really for me
19:20why did you do that you're single i'm single you need another reason
19:27so what's the deal with you and brett huh no deal there's nothing happening between us
19:35yeah no why not there's nothing between me and brett obviously maybe i should just move on you
19:40ever play the pocket challenge no what's that we each bite from one end until one of us chickens out
20:02damn it why am i thinking about him at a time like this come on allison you're already here
20:12dude what the fuck game's over let's go excuse me what are you doing get off of me what do
20:18you
20:18think you're doing you're ruining my night do you think i care that i'm ruining your night what do
20:22you think ron would think if you knew you were happy don't care how about you lecture someone who
20:25gives a fuck come on okay no more of these stupid games you don't have to play this shit i
20:28know let's
20:29go i don't have to play these stupid games i'm playing them because i want to
20:35get the fuck away from me
20:53oh my god is she okay
21:04look at me look at me look at me look at me hey hey you okay
21:11just put me down brett
21:13you know you could have died at least and chad i mean my god you have no business being around
21:20that guy let alone being this close to kissing him huh anybody who's half a brain so realize
21:24he's a total fucking douche bagger right that's not fair what's not fair what what's not fair what
21:30am i not understanding huh what what don't i understand i don't know how this works okay i'm
21:35sorry i i'm figuring it out i don't know how guys work all the time you know that's fantastic i'm
21:41so
21:41happy that you're able to admit that okay
21:51i've wanted to do that for so long
22:02listen you had no idea every single time i saw you with him i always just wanted to tell you
22:08that
22:08you've always been more to me than just my best friend sister
22:13why didn't you say anything i made a promise to run
22:18so what are we now
22:25what do you want us to be
22:28what do you want me to be
22:31i want you to be mine
22:36i think i already am
22:41but what about ron he's gonna kill you
22:44i know ron loves you very much he's very protective older brother but i think he'll come around when he
22:50sees
23:00thinking about you
23:09hi captain
23:11when are you coming to pick me up
23:12i am uh currently stuck in the worst traffic ever right now i'm two seconds away from ditching my car
23:17and just
23:17sprinting to you
23:19aww
23:21well as much as i'd love to see
23:28oh my god someone's coming um i have to go fake my own death
23:31bye i'm glad that somebody's coming
23:53hey are you okay you sounded sick
23:56hey hey you found my bag i was looking for that thank you
24:00no problem
24:04attention all members of the cheerleading squad it has been brought to our attention that apparently someone on this squad
24:11is using illegal drugs
24:12i strongly suggest whoever's responsible to come forward now otherwise will be forced to contact the campus police for a
24:21thorough search
24:21well i think we all know someone who would do anything to stop being a fat friend
24:27right
24:28well well well
24:29look who needs drugs to keep up with the real athletes
24:32i knew it
24:33no one gets that good that quick without cheating
24:37allison
24:38performance enhancing substances are grounds for immediate dismissal of the squad
24:42coach i promise you i've never seen those before okay those those aren't mine
24:46right
24:47a cheater and a liar
24:49coach please listen to me
24:51i've never seen those i don't know what they are i'm lying
24:55it's the only way a cow like her could ever compete with us
24:58they're mine
24:59yeah those are actually uh my uh vitamins
25:02did you forget i asked you to hold on to my vitamins this morning
25:05yeah sorry i should have uh
25:07you little bitch
25:08you think you can just walk in here and steal everything from me
25:11that's enough rita
25:12my decision is final
25:18listen up when it's allison's turn for the basket toss
25:20you're gonna have a little timing issue
25:22you want us to drop her
25:24she could get seriously hurt
25:25that's the point
25:28accidents happen all the time in cheerleading
25:29so tragic
25:30i can't do that coach will kill me
25:33fine
25:33and say goodbye to those little supplements that keep you fitting in your uniforms
25:37i know everything
25:38girls
25:39every dirty little secret
25:40do exactly as i say
25:42or you're gone
25:43your call
25:50very sweet
25:53what happened back there
25:55how did you know that rita put those vitamins in my purse
25:57i uh saw rita putting something in your bag
26:00so i swapped it out
26:03i knew it
26:04i knew she was up to something
26:06you know i heard her
26:06in the bathroom like 10 minutes before
26:09yeah she was throwing up
26:11it was when we were
26:14when we were
26:16having
26:19all right
26:21all right
26:21on the count
26:22you both perform an elevated prep
26:24rita you're up first
26:25then else
26:38okay
26:39awesome
26:39hey
26:41great job you guys
26:42you killed it
26:50and that's game
26:52state loses
26:5221 to 35
26:56allie
26:57look i know
26:58it's not what you wanted
26:59it's okay
27:00because you did good
27:01that's all that matters
27:02thanks bro
27:03i'm gonna go take a piss
27:04i'll be right back
27:04ew
27:05don't ever touch me again weirdo
27:07yo
27:09allison
27:09she is
27:10look good baby
27:11y'all do private shows
27:13you know
27:14something with a little extra
27:15bump and grind
27:16you're so gross
27:19yo what the hell
27:20are you serious
27:21what
27:22what's going on
27:22i'm just waiting for the mvp
27:24no don't play with me bitch
27:25i'm more of a
27:27i do
27:28you're defending your slut's honor huh
27:30she's a public bus
27:31everybody gets a ride
27:35hey
27:36hey fuckface
27:38you keep my sister's name out of your fucking mouth
27:45that's enough
27:47what's going on here
27:48i mean coach we all saw it
27:49chad was gonna hit her
27:51you're gonna hit her
27:52get my office now
27:54you
27:55with me
27:56this is a really nasty cut
27:59let's hide
28:00yeah
28:00okay
28:06bratt
28:07bratt you in there
28:08yeah i'm just uh
28:09washing up man
28:10god you have no idea
28:13how crazy you drive me
28:15you know every single time i see you
28:17all i can think about is uh
28:22doing this
28:24you need a hand man
28:25no i got everything i need
28:26uh
28:28right here
28:29i feel what you did
28:31it's kind of hard to mess
28:33yeah
28:35hard to mess
28:37bratt you gotta
28:38you gotta speed this up man
28:39we got your food
28:40it's gonna get cold
28:40you know my hands are soft bro
28:41i can help you
28:42hey why don't you guys just beat it
28:43all right
28:44i'm gonna be a little while
28:46all right let's just give him some space
28:47enjoy your blue balls
28:48yeah don't pull muscles
28:50you know i took a pretty big hit for you today
28:53i think i've earned some uh
28:56alison physical therapy time
28:58you know what i mean
28:59you know you could have just asked
29:02you didn't have to pick a fight to get lucky
29:06brad goes pro out to this guarantee
29:08i've heard the half time show is gonna break the internet
29:11captain scott's changed the whole game
29:13sick
29:13ladies and gentlemen
29:15let's make some noise for your state university cheerleading squad
29:18led by captain alison scott
29:23i will end you
29:24leave it
29:27save your applause everyone
29:29you're cheering for a fraud
29:30your precious new cheerleading captain didn't earn her spot
29:33she bought it
29:34this is insane okay
29:36i've never taken a drug in my life
29:39oh sweetie
29:40it's all coming out now
29:41i saw her taking pills
29:42for practice
29:43we trusted you
29:45cheater
29:48hey anybody who messes with her
29:50messes with me
29:51open your eyes brett
29:53she's using you
29:54for the clout
29:55for the status
29:56who was she before you slept with her
29:58nobody
29:59a total bottom feeder
30:01you know what you're so full of shit it's unbelievable
30:03how'd you get that video huh
30:04and what'd you do to it
30:05you have nothing to fear if you have nothing to hide
30:07i know some real doctors that can help you guys get healthy with the right way
30:11no more pills no more purging no more blackmail
30:13you'd really help us
30:15absolutely
30:15listen you guys are never gonna have to take any of Rita's take your spells ever again
30:19so what's the catch
30:20you're gonna make Rita take some of her own medicine
30:23this video
30:24this is the real conversation
30:26not the edited one
30:28that Rita just played
30:30not for the drugs
30:32these are the drugs that i gave the girls
30:33they're vitamins
30:34you can get these at any pharmacy
30:36in the world
30:37you wanna check these out principal
30:46look at you
30:47playing the victim
30:49you've been throwing yourself at me for weeks
30:51just when i give you a chance
30:54you run crying to Harrison
30:56nothing but a little
30:57shut up dude
30:58shut up
30:59what are you gonna do about it Harrison
31:01i don't have to do anything
31:02you're gonna get exactly what you deserve right now
31:04Mr. Williams
31:08apparently we've had a number of allegations of sexual harassment against you
31:13from various female students
31:15as of now you are
31:16you can consider yourself officially reinstated as captain
31:21thank you principal
31:22all right everyone
31:24sorry for the unexpected drama
31:26i hope you enjoyed the show
31:27but we have a game to get back to
31:30so let's cheer on our wolves
31:34let's win
31:46but yeah state university wins it all
31:52you
31:52you
31:52you
31:52you
31:52you
31:52you
31:55you
31:56you
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