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7 Days - Season 18 - Episode 10: Thursday April 23
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00:22Hello one and all to another brand new episode of 7 Days where I, Jeremy Corbett, take you
00:26the viewer on a magical journey through the past week of news, deleting the boring bits
00:31and making this crack team of comedians find the funny and what's left over, let's meet
00:35them shall we. Leader of team one is an actor, director, comedian and musician, wow she just
00:41cannot commit. She's mad as salami, it's Madeline Salami. Thank you Jeremy, it's called undiagnosed
00:51ADHD. Now have I got a hot team for you tonight, he started as a production runner on this very
00:58show and now he's on the panel, he started on the panel and now he has the runs, it's Anthony
01:02Grant and Josh Johnson. The big question about the leader of team two is if he's here then
01:10who's walking around in the woods of Northern California pretending to be Bigfoot? Rhys
01:21Christchurch, you might have better luck guessing than I did. Let's make a start by seeing what
01:31made the news in a game that's legally called Newsmakers. I'll give each team a prompt from
01:34a headline story, they need to figure out which one and team one I've got an answer for you
01:38so you might need to come up with some questions. Why is this a newsmaker? 51 tests. How many
01:44tests of supermarket camembert did I get through before the promo lady told me off? How many
01:52pregnancy tests did I shove up my bum before I realised you just need to pee on them? How
01:59many pregnancy tests did I get through before I realised it's the woman who's meant to pee
02:02on them? How many times did I do a Covid test in an afternoon before I was like do I
02:09have
02:09a kink? Madeline, any guess at what the story might be? Okay, 51 tests. I'm going to assume
02:16this is something to do with sport. Oh yes, actually, there was a story about an ex-All
02:22Black, Tane Randall. He is standing for a political party. Correct, Madeline. The question is how
02:30many tests did Tane Randall play for the All Blacks? Well it's 51, 22 as captain. One of
02:35our youngest captains between 97 and 2002. And he announced this week he will be running
02:39as a New Zealand first candidate in the Tukituki electorate in Hawke's Bay at the upcoming
02:43election. Sort of a direct swap, actually. Tane Randall is becoming a politician and Christopher
02:49Luxon is going to be a rugby ball. So...
02:53Ero-dynamic. It's so ero-dynamic. I reckon we should have more rugby players in parliament
02:58and if we did, Stephen Joyce would have caught that dildo. And said a knocking it on with his
03:05face. Yeah. I mean, it wasn't a straight line-out dildo throw, that's for sure. I don't know
03:09how to catch a dildo on a line-out, I assume. No. He did the old falcon, didn't he? Did
03:13the falcon. Lovely that it proves that it's not just old people who support New Zealand first,
03:17it's also people with severe head injuries. Yeah. Hopefully people will take that concussion
03:22thing seriously after seeing this. Yeah, I think that's the new slogan. Head of fall, vote New Zealand
03:27Yeah, yeah. What's the electorate he's going for? Tukki Tukki? Tukki Tukki. Yeah, because
03:34Labour haven't announced their candidate for Tukki Tukki yet, but if they do pick a South
03:39African and Tane gets sick the night before the election, I'm going to have a lot of questions.
03:45We'll be looking for someone called Susie. Yeah, I think so. I think so, yeah. Hey Crum, I know it's
03:50your first show, so welcome. Yes. Also in the middle of Team 2, first show, Bubba.
03:54Yeah. You were a guest here, and guest who? We had you on, didn't you? Yes. With a mystery
03:58sack on your head. But now you're sitting on the panel, how does it feel? You good?
04:01I feel like I levelled up. Leveled up.
04:05Alright, Team 2, are you ready? Yeah. For your newsmaker, I've got an answer for you.
04:09What's the question? This is from the last seven days. Crabs and barnacles.
04:14Ooh, with rising sea levels, what are the new STIs in some of our sluttier coastal towns?
04:21Um, now that we are at an earlier time slot, what does Jeremy have to say instead of shit
04:27and f***ing? I'll tell you how I feel about that. Crabs and barnacles.
04:35Um, what shows that a mermaid's let herself go?
04:42Alright, any idea what the story might be, Rhys?
04:44Um, it's almost nothing to go on. So, I'm gonna guess it's under the water.
04:50Okay. Under the sea?
04:51Down where it's wet, everything's better, Jeremy. Is that the story?
04:54Not even close. Um...
04:56What are thriving in the Great Pacific Garbage Patch? Crabs and barnacles.
05:01That's the huge accumulation of marine plastic in the North Pacific Ocean.
05:04The GPGP, as the cool kids are calling it, was found to have grown so large,
05:08it now hosts its own ecosystem.
05:10It's now about three times the size of France.
05:12Uh, contains roughly 1.8 trillion pieces of plastic.
05:16But I reckon I could still get the lid on my recycling bin to close on that, you know?
05:20Push it in.
05:22Guys, I just wanna say, I don't think we should call it the Great Pacific Garbage Patch.
05:26Its name's Australia.
05:27Okay? Be kind. Be kind.
05:31It's quite nice to know that when you biff, like, a bear cannon to a river,
05:34it's not littering. It's gonna end up being a little house for a hermit.
05:37Yeah, you're making a home. You're making a home.
05:39It's Q day. It's Q day.
05:40Well, that's aluminium or steel gonna sink, so you're not helping the patch.
05:43Uh, I think you're fine, metal floats, Corbett.
05:47What?
05:49Yeah!
05:50Don't they?
05:51There's metal boats!
05:53Yeah, as long as the displacement is greater than the weight.
05:56Okay, Archimedes!
05:57It's bringing everybody a displacement theory!
06:00Oh!
06:01Oh!
06:01I'm being to school!
06:03I'm from the North Island!
06:04Alright!
06:06Yeah!
06:07What's that?
06:08That's a thinking man!
06:10What about you, Bubba?
06:12Cause, you know, do we need another Pacific Island?
06:13You've been living in Samoa, basically, haven't you?
06:16I can't even talk, cause I've been eating turtles.
06:18What?
06:19Yeah!
06:21What do they taste like?
06:22Straws?
06:23Do they taste like straws?
06:24Chicken?
06:24Or kiwi?
06:25What does it taste like?
06:26Like, fishy fish.
06:27Really?
06:28Oh, like a cross between like...
06:30And then I can crisp up the skin.
06:32Wow!
06:33Yum!
06:34But we do it sustainably.
06:35That's the way...
06:36The rest of you save them.
06:37Yes.
06:37I suppose you can...
06:40No, it's like farming.
06:41You don't have any eye that I'll eat then.
06:42It's like farming.
06:43You're farming, that's perfect.
06:45Yeah.
06:45Yeah, they kind of come with their own bowl.
06:47Yeah.
06:48Oh!
06:50And a dipping spoon in each corner.
06:52Yeah, you know that.
06:54We're gonna go to points for newsmakers.
06:56Team one, you can have don't know.
06:58Interesting number.
06:59That's the number of national MPs who voted against Prime Minister Christopher Luxon
07:02in that confidence vote he called on himself this week.
07:05Haven't revealed the numbers, so I don't really know.
07:07But he's fine, honestly.
07:09Team two, you can have 70, that's 70 mil of rain that fell in one hour in Wellington
07:13on early Monday morning.
07:15That's about half a month's rain in one hour, hence the terrible flash floods.
07:19Hope you're okay there in Wellington.
07:2170 beats, don't know.
07:22First star of the night goes to team two.
07:26Well, a star, you know, a star isn't just a giant burning ball of gas,
07:30which also happened to be my stripper name, no.
07:32But also the currency for this show.
07:34Most stars at the end of the night wins a highly sought after and valuable prize.
07:38And with Tane Randall's mate Shane Jones saying New Zealand's trade agreement with India
07:42will lead to a butter chicken tsunami, his actual words,
07:45we thought this week's prize would be helpful when the big wave eventually arrives.
07:49Ooh and ah at that.
07:50That is a boogie board made from garlic naan.
07:53Wow.
07:55Not only is it a delicious buttery Friday night takeaway,
07:59but we'll also keep you afloat while Shane Jones is washed out to sea
08:02to drown in the incoming crowd-pleasing curry.
08:05Something to strive for.
08:06Good luck teams.
08:07Alright, our next game is called Guest 2,
08:08where we pick a random news story of the week,
08:10secretly recruit the star of that story to join us in the studio under the cover of darkness.
08:15And when I say darkness, I mean a sack with a limited air supply.
08:18Please welcome our guest.
08:19Who guests?
08:22Just stay mad at him.
08:23I'll jump in behind you, drive you in.
08:25Three, two, one.
08:27Stop right there.
08:28Alright, our guest is going to give you a thumbs up or a thumbs down
08:30for your yes-no question.
08:32Thumbs down, it goes to the other team.
08:33Team one, you start.
08:34Did you win the Hong Kong Sevens?
08:38Oh!
08:39That's good though.
08:40Good win for New Zealand, that one.
08:43Team two.
08:44Have you been to South Auckland?
08:48Woo!
08:49You got a yes!
08:51Not part of the story, I have to say, but you got a yes.
08:54That's good.
08:55Did you fight for the Anzacs at Gallipoli?
08:59That's a no.
09:00Okay, so they fought for the Ottoman Empire.
09:03So it's clearly South Auckland based.
09:06It's not!
09:07OK.
09:08OK, mate.
09:09Is it a sport-related news story?
09:12Maybe?
09:14No!
09:15But a maybe.
09:15Not sport.
09:16So, when you're in South Auckland...
09:22And you drive past Åtara, do you ever stop for those lamb buns?
09:27No!
09:28OK, I'm lost.
09:29You're lost.
09:32Bubba's out, Bubba's out.
09:34What's the address of these lamb buns?
09:35No, Tomo!
09:37The game!
09:37One thing has to do with the story.
09:39Focus on the game.
09:40You can send me a...
09:40I think this...
09:41Yeah, OK.
09:42If you were to walk in a realm of the topic that you delve into, would it be scientific?
09:49No.
09:50That's a no.
09:50That's a no.
09:51OK.
09:52Not scientific.
09:53Are you famous for entertainment?
09:57Yes!
09:58Entertainment!
09:59Are you a musician?
10:03It is.
10:03It is a yes.
10:04It's a yes, but not the main...
10:06Oh my God!
10:07But yes!
10:07I read something, but I can't remember what it is.
10:09I have to think.
10:11Are you in film and television?
10:14Yes!
10:15Same!
10:16Same!
10:17Same!
10:18It's not...
10:19Not a conversation, Madeline.
10:21Are you on a reality television show?
10:23No!
10:24It's not that.
10:25They're in film and television.
10:27Has the show been going for a long time?
10:30Yes.
10:31Definitely.
10:32Were you on the news?
10:38That is a no.
10:40Not what the story's about.
10:42Was the TV show for kids?
10:45Yes!
10:46With a bit of music?
10:48No way!
10:48No way!
10:49Is that Susie Kato?
10:50Yeah!
10:52Yeah!
10:55Wow!
10:59Oh my God!
11:01Amazing.
11:02Oh my God!
11:03Amazing.
11:06Wow!
11:11So, the look on Reece's face when he saw that it was you
11:14was just amazing.
11:15Oh, really?
11:15You must get that a lot.
11:16You and me.
11:17Yes, you and me.
11:18Yes!
11:19So, yes, it's been a very long number of years
11:22since we made You and Me,
11:24but it's coming back!
11:26It's coming back now!
11:30It's going to be streaming and all that sort of stuff,
11:32but also you released It's Our Time,
11:35but you're releasing You and Me, the theme tune, as well.
11:36Yeah, the theme tune was released last weekend.
11:39We're releasing It's Our Time.
11:41Kia ora talofa this weekend.
11:44And then for the next 25 weeks,
11:47it's our time, our special time of day.
11:51I'm about to sleep.
11:53It is incredible because there are kids that watched your show.
11:57It started in, what, 93 or something like that,
11:59and now they're parents themselves,
12:01and they come up and what do they say to you?
12:03They say hello generally.
12:06Always not talofa.
12:08Oh, no, it's not talofa.
12:09And we always have a big hug, and, yeah, we sing the song,
12:12and it's fabulous.
12:13And now to be singing and performing for their children
12:16is pretty special.
12:17That's cool.
12:18You're a massive star.
12:19I remember back in the day,
12:21we sort of, your husband worked at the radio station I was at,
12:23and we had a radio sort of a do,
12:25and Sean Fitzpatrick was there,
12:27the captain of the All Blacks at the time,
12:29a man not easily given to sort of shows of sort of stardom,
12:33but he was starstruck by you because of his kids,
12:37and he came up and he wanted your autograph,
12:38and I've never seen, like, the captain of the All Blacks
12:41being so, can I please have your autograph?
12:43It was incredible.
12:44Amazing.
12:45He's such a lovely guy.
12:46He was lovely, yes.
12:47And in between when there was a hiatus,
12:49I think we can call it now,
12:50the show didn't come to an end,
12:51it was a hiatus,
12:51you were on Dancing with the Stars and Masked Singer.
12:54Does it feel good to be on a proper TV show?
12:58It's an honour.
12:59Wonderful to be working with you.
13:00Praising a diss the Masked Singer
13:02when you made her stand there with a bag on her head.
13:07Susie, am I in the show?
13:09In this show?
13:10Yeah.
13:11Seven Days, darling, yes, you are.
13:12Oh, OK.
13:18I wasn't sure if I was awake.
13:19Why do you ask, Tom,
13:20have you recorded something you think might be on Susie's show?
13:22I don't know if it's...
13:24Oh, my God, if it was...
13:25Oh, I don't know, I don't know.
13:26He's playing one of the puppets.
13:27So long as you don't tell anybody else,
13:30yes, Josh reads a story.
13:32Do you?
13:34How did you learn to read?
13:38There were lots of pictures.
13:39Oh, there's lots of pictures.
13:41I didn't think they'd go for mine, can't be there,
13:43but it was quite a long time.
13:45Quite a long before.
13:46Very quickly, sometimes.
13:48And is it true that your kids told you what to wear tonight
13:51so that people would recognise you?
13:52Oh, yeah, yeah.
13:53So, yeah, completely true.
13:55I had to bling, I had to stand in a certain way.
13:58Yeah, it was really good.
13:59Yeah, I was like, that's my cousin.
14:01That's definitely my cousin.
14:03I thought she was from South Wales.
14:04And then...
14:08Where do I find those buns?
14:10I will take you.
14:11I love you.
14:12You're stunning.
14:14When does the show start and where can we see it?
14:16You can see it on the 2nd of May on my YouTube channel,
14:20YouAndMeNZ,
14:21and it'll also be on RNZ's platform in a few months' time.
14:25Well, the pleasure's been all ours.
14:26Susie Cato.
14:31Say hi to Steve.
14:38Oh, my God.
14:44Oh, that is fantastic.
14:45And congratulations.
14:47Who yelled it out?
14:48It was you, Rhys.
14:49Team 2.
14:50Give them the star.
14:51Well done.
14:53Wow.
14:54I have to say, one of our most popular guests who's ever.
14:57Right, coming up later,
14:58we have Aotearoa Music Award finalist Paige
15:00joining us for Slice of Seven.
15:02Stick around to see that.
15:03But after the break, it's TOG's time
15:05with Club Topakana here on Seven Days.
15:06See you soon.
15:15Oh, welcome back to Seven Days.
15:22Lovely to have you with us.
15:24And we'd like to celebrate the week of wild weather
15:26by shimmying across the sand,
15:28finding our way around the flotsam and jetsam
15:29to reach the embrace of the beach.
15:31It's Club Topakana.
15:32Play the steel drums.
15:37That was a cool thing I did.
15:39That's cool.
15:39That's cool, man.
15:40That was really good.
15:44Club Topakana, as you know,
15:46is brought to you by Dole Pineapples.
15:48Pineapples, chunks or pieces,
15:50whole or sliced,
15:51sliced any which way.
15:52Damn napples be nice.
15:54And inside this poetic fruit
15:56lies some news stories
15:57that drew my attention.
15:58It'll be the team's task
15:58to tell us more about each of them.
16:01All right, until I am satiated.
16:03What have we got on the menu this week?
16:04Let's start with this.
16:06Robots in China just beat the world record
16:07for running a half marathon.
16:08You may have seen that.
16:09The Ukrainian army reportedly adding
16:1125,000 robots to its front line.
16:14Safe to say robots are taking our jobs,
16:17but I think we need to fight back,
16:18which is why I'd like to see
16:19some examples of humans
16:21doing robots' jobs.
16:29Wake up!
16:30Wake up!
16:31It's time to start your miserable life!
16:39Wait, so you want me to walk around
16:40and suck up dust and toenails
16:43and you're going to pay me for that?
16:53Alive!
16:54Alive!
16:55Alive!
16:56Alive!
16:57Alive!
16:57Alive!
16:58Alive!
16:58Dead!
17:08Hello.
17:09Oh, yes, you'd like $20?
17:10Just put your card here.
17:13Put your PIN number here.
17:25Here's your $20.
17:28Can I get a receipt?
17:51Right, so you just want me to sit on the chair
17:54and vibrate.
17:57Okay.
18:12But then now do they get to sit on you, is that...
18:15Yeah, I don't want to make it gross,
18:16but, yeah, I'm a vibrator.
18:18It's a real shameful walk-off.
18:20All right.
18:22Okay, here we go.
18:23Down to Christchurch.
18:24Takaha Christchurch's new one New Zealand stadium
18:27has its official opening this weekend.
18:29All Super Rugby games have been played there.
18:31683 mil it cost.
18:32I didn't get an invite,
18:34but I would love to see some scenes
18:35from a Christchurch Stadium corporate box, please.
18:41Um, they say I'm the first Samoan up here.
18:48I'm the head of security.
18:55That's the first Samoan in the corporate box.
19:01It's a lofa.
19:08Far up, I'll do it.
19:27I'll have the shrimp, please.
19:29LAUGHTER
19:32LAUGHTER
19:33LAUGHTER
19:34LAUGHTER
19:35LAUGHTER
19:37LAUGHTER
19:39LAUGHTER
19:40LAUGHTER
19:42LAUGHTER
19:42LAUGHTER
19:42What?
19:43Oh, we can't go on the field anymore.
19:46No...
19:47Yeah, well, yeah.
19:48Could I get a drink and, um, 50 kg of votes for the horse, please?
19:51LAUGHTER
19:53LAUGHTER
20:01Ritchie!
20:04God, I shot Ritchie McCaw.
20:07Oh, sorry.
20:08He's as big as a horse, I'm so sorry!
20:12LAUGHTER
20:13LAUGHTER
20:14LAUGHTER
20:17Uh, yes, we just book out the suite
20:19on an event-by-event basis, really.
20:20Once you've kind of got 20 people in here, it works out to be just as cheap as tickets.
20:25Uh, catering's pretty good, drinks are included, they've got a different catering pick.
20:27What do I do?
20:28Uh, so I just... I...
20:30It's a bit boring.
20:30I work under the CFO, so I'm kind of managing logistics mainly,
20:33trying to stabilise, uh, the prices for our incoming product,
20:37particularly with the tariffs and the Hormuz.
20:39LAUGHTER
20:39Don't even get me started on that.
20:40That's been an absolute number.
20:41But, you know, it works stable.
20:42It works pretty good, pretty interesting.
20:44Ch-ch-ch...
20:45LAUGHTER
20:46LAUGHTER
20:47LAUGHTER
20:47LAUGHTER
20:54Alrighty, moving on.
20:55Here's our next story from my dull pineapple.
20:58Uh, this week police arrested a man
21:00who had stolen $34,000 worth of Lego from box sets.
21:04Uh, he'd done that by replacing it with dried pasta.
21:07Ingenious, but I'm pretty sure any crime involving pasta
21:09gets you locked up in a prison in Italy.
21:12So, uh, give me some examples of things overheard in an Italian prison.
21:19Luigi, why are you trying to dig out
21:22when we can just jump down the toilet and go down the pipes?
21:26Yoo-hoo!
21:27LAUGHTER
21:27LAUGHTER
21:29Really good.
21:30LAUGHTER
21:32Oh, mamma mia, I've been shanked.
21:36LAUGHTER
21:38Just checking, you can still do the Italian accent, right?
21:45I don't know, I shanked a woman, but my shank was al dente.
21:50LAUGHTER
21:52LAUGHTER
21:53LAUGHTER
21:57LAUGHTER
21:57LAUGHTER
21:57LAUGHTER
21:58OK, if we are going to get out,
22:00we're going to have to get past the guards.
22:03LAUGHTER
22:03LAUGHTER
22:04We don't want to have to resort to violence.
22:08LAUGHTER
22:16Get busy living or get busy dying.
22:19Those are the words told to me by my friend,
22:23Andolini, Ferrari, Barista, Napolitano,
22:26Paparazzi, Gelato, the friend.
22:28LAUGHTER
22:29LAUGHTER
22:30Very good, Tomo.
22:31My name's Morgan Freeman.
22:33LAUGHTER
22:33We got that.
22:35LAUGHTER
22:36What am I in for?
22:38Serving a red wine with seafood?
22:40LAUGHTER
22:41And I'm in with the pedos.
22:44LAUGHTER
22:46LAUGHTER
22:47LAUGHTER
22:51It was going so well.
22:53LAUGHTER
22:53All right, unbelievable.
22:54Word is in that the garbage patch
22:56has spread to our own Topicana beach.
22:58Before you get barnacles on your dinghy,
23:00you'd better get out of the water and head back to the desks.
23:02Play the steel drums!
23:05APPLAUSE
23:14Oh, very good round of Topicana.
23:16Enjoyed that.
23:16Team one, you can have 32 points.
23:18That's the age of Harry Styles,
23:20rumoured to be engaged to his girlfriend Zoe Kravitz
23:22after she was seen wearing a huge diamond ring in public.
23:26Yes.
23:27Disappointing.
23:28I would have married either of them.
23:29Team two, 120.
23:30That's the number of shows in the 2026 New Zealand
23:33International Comedy Festival.
23:34Kicks off in a week.
23:35Features many of your seven days favourites,
23:37including some here tonight.
23:38Tickets are at comedyfestival.co.nz.
23:41Congrats.
23:42The star goes to team two.
23:44APPLAUSE
23:48All right.
23:49Team one, I've got your burger fuel brain grill,
23:52fresh out of 1990 for you now.
23:54Tell me what's happening here.
23:56And we want...
23:57We want this guy here to...
23:59Yeah, we want this guy here.
24:01Spread out, boys.
24:02Spreading out.
24:03Spread out.
24:03Here we go.
24:04Come on, Hawksby.
24:05Hands come down.
24:07Slapping, slapping.
24:08Slapping, slapping.
24:09Hands reach up one above the other.
24:12Fierce warriors poke out guns.
24:14Poke out guns.
24:19Lord.
24:19Ooh.
24:21A joke about that, yeah.
24:22Is this what they were doing at the National Party caucus
24:25on Tuesday?
24:26LAUGHTER
24:26I know exactly what this is.
24:29This is a pake haka.
24:31LAUGHTER
24:32Yeah, that was from Telethon 1990.
24:35Sir Howard Morrison leading a haka
24:37comprised of John Farnham.
24:39Amazing.
24:39Paul Holmes.
24:40John Hawksby.
24:41And the one in the end with the headpiece,
24:44director of Seven Days sitting in the control room
24:46right behind me right now, Nigel Carpenter.
24:49LAUGHTER
24:49Really good.
24:51The event raised $4.3 million,
24:54mainly from people paying to make them stop.
24:57All right, I feel a break coming on,
24:59so let's not promise to watch the ads,
25:01then enjoy Paige singing for us all
25:03in Slicer 7 next.
25:04See you soon, Seven Days.
25:06CHEERING
25:17Welcome back to Seven Days.
25:19I see you've slipped into your dancing shoes.
25:21Good move, because we have a Kiwi songbird in the studio
25:23to serenade us with a couple of tunes
25:25that we've made her change the words to,
25:27so our comedians can guess what news story they are about.
25:30Her song, Twenties, has just been named a finalist
25:33for a single of the year
25:34in the 2026 Aotearoa Music Awards.
25:36Please welcome Paige.
25:38CHEERING
25:41Your job, team, is to figure out what news stories
25:44we've got Paige to sing about.
25:45Team one, are you ready?
25:47In your own time, Paige.
25:55I can almost see it, the blood and screaming
26:02When a reptile bites a boat with Lisa Carrington
26:07And it's so stroke, you gotta go fast
26:14You'll get eaten if you're last
26:21Got crocodiles at the Briz Olympics
26:24The rowers gotta whack them with their oars
26:27They never wanna see a Gator later
26:30Gold medals stuck inside their chores
26:33Steve Irwin wears he when you need him
26:36Oh no, the Coxless 4s have died
26:44Damn crocodile
26:52Oh my God. So good.
26:55Wow. Yeah. Wow. Amazing.
26:58I heard a bunch of stuff about Australia, crocodiles.
27:00Steve Irwin.
27:00There was Lisa Carrington, who is a weapon.
27:04There's a rowing crocodile story from the Australians
27:10I don't know when the Olympics are
27:12But I think they're gonna row with crocodiles?
27:16Yeah, sort of team one, I'll give it to you.
27:18Organisers are still committed to holding the rowing events
27:21For the 2032 Brisbane Olympics on the Fitzroy River
27:24Despite it being a known crocodile habitat
27:28Guess it could make for a seamless transition
27:29From being an Olympian to a Paralympian
27:31You know
27:37Wait, wait, so like they're rowing and there's crocodiles chasing them
27:41I would be, I feel like this is my chance to get into the Olympics
27:45I would row so fast
27:48Oh, and you'd be staring at them the whole time
27:50Yeah, you've got to watch out because they might bite your cocks off
27:53Yeah
27:54Wait, wait, there's the
27:55That's a boat term, right?
27:56Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
27:57That's a coxus
27:57Oh, yeah
27:58To be honest, like crocodile versus Lisa Carrington
28:01I'm backing Carrington
28:02Yeah
28:02Have you seen her? She is jacked
28:05Oh, yeah
28:05She needs to rip it in half
28:07But she's, at least she's kayaking so she's going forward
28:10So she'd see them
28:11Whereas in rowing, you know what you're rowing
28:13They just go down the throat
28:17It's meals on wheels
28:20I love the idea of injecting a little bit of animal danger
28:23Into sort of any Olympic sport
28:25I've often watched the bobsledding
28:27And thought, chuck a hippo down there
28:29A hundred metres bridge
28:30Well, just like, hippos famously don't like the cold
28:34And don't know how to apply brakes in ice
28:36So I think they'd get really angry
28:38Oh, rhythmic gymnastics with a snake?
28:41Oh, yeah
28:41Yeah
28:42Oh, yeah
28:44I would like to see you swimming with a shark in the pool
28:48Just get some world record times
28:49Yeah
28:49Okay
28:49I thought, like, Javelin could be made a lot more interesting without animals
28:53But just both teams going at the same time at each other
28:57So it's kind of like Javelin dodgeball hybrid
28:59Yeah
29:00I think it's like Pokemon
29:01Is Pokemon where you throw a spear into another human being?
29:06No, that's Pokeman
29:11Oh, wow
29:12Really good
29:13Team 2, are you ready for a song from Paige?
29:15Yeah
29:15It's about a news story
29:17Try and guess which one
29:18Yours, all yours Paige
29:23Stopped in instead
29:25At the fridge in my dairy
29:28Reached for a drink
29:31It was real scary
29:33The bottle was transparent like a naked ghost
29:38Want to keep it looking like the color of toast
29:41Want to keep it looking like the color of toast
30:06Yuck, gross
30:12The bottle's in the recycling bin
30:17Stop the coke company
30:21It looks like
30:23Piss
30:24Piss
30:30Wow
30:31Yeah
30:32Awesome
30:33So good
30:34So good
30:35Well, first of all, Jeremy
30:36You know how annoying I find it when you invite actually talented people
30:39Yes
30:40Makes this look bad
30:41What do you reckon, guys?
30:44Um, L&P has changed
30:47It's changing
30:48It's changing
30:48The bottle, the bottle
30:49I thought you knew this
30:51Why would you think I know this?
30:53Okay, no
30:54So L&P changing the bottle color to clear for recycling purposes
30:59Okay, and why did you think I would be up to date on fizzy drink news?
31:02You have an aura
31:06Yeah, I did know this
31:14Yes, upset a lot of fans of Kiwi fizzy drinks
31:17L&P have changed the design of their brown bottles to translucent ones
31:20They've even updated the iconic L&P bottle statue in Pyro
31:24It's
31:25I don't know about this
31:26Even L&P's gone work, hasn't it?
31:28What's it called now?
31:29L&P TQIA plus?
31:30I don't know
31:32What is it called?
31:34What is it called?
31:34What is it called?
31:34Where does it stop?
31:35I mean even when you
31:36Look at it
31:36Yeah
31:37Page is right
31:38It does look like
31:39Piss
31:39Yeah
31:41If they wanted to make it Kiwi they should have painted it blue and maybe put Tina from Turner's on
31:46there
31:46Oh
31:50Do you know her?
31:51Do you know her?
31:52Do you know her?
31:53No, but I heard she's amazing
31:56Tell us your bubbles
32:00That is a coincidence, isn't it?
32:03What's that?
32:05Where the f*** is this going?
32:09Go on Poirot
32:10At the same time as the movie about Michael Jackson is coming out
32:17We're making a brown bottle less brown
32:20Michael Jackson of course famous for making himself more clear to make himself more recyclable
32:26I think he's famous for touching smaller bottles
32:29Get away from the cans Michael
32:36Maybe we've fallen into their trap
32:38Maybe you're right
32:38It's a marketing stunt
32:40And they've made it onto the show
32:41Damn it
32:42Good luck Corbs
32:44While we're not all talking about their product
32:45L&P which is delicious by the way
32:47I love it
32:48I love it
32:49It's a great summer drink
32:50Even though it's getting close to winter
32:52But what flavour is it?
32:54I mean it's lemon and Pairot
32:56But what flavour is it?
32:58What flavour is Pairot?
32:58I don't know
32:59I think the yellow is for the lemon
33:01And the brown is from the dairy effluent that flows into the river
33:07I don't know
33:07I don't know but it doesn't matter because it tastes so good
33:09Yeah
33:09And it makes me feel great
33:12You can relax Tomo
33:15And you can hear the proper version of Paige's hit song 20s
33:18Which was the song she played for Team 2
33:20It's all over the place
33:21Instant classic
33:22So find her on the socials
33:23Please give it up one more time for Paige
33:25Amazing amazing
33:31So good
33:32Team 1
33:33You can have 144
33:34That's the number of pages in a new book written by our warm up guy
33:37Sam Smith
33:41It's a lovely graphic novel called The Curse of the Carnivorous Cactuses
33:46For 5 to 10 year olds
33:48Team 2 I was going to say 20
33:50Which is how many dollars Sam paid me to say that
33:52But I've got a better one because it's got a great video
33:54So you get 2 points
33:55That's the number of seconds a Delaware man won the Delaware marathon by
34:00After pipping another runner celebrating a little too early at the finish line
34:04Have a look
34:05Yeah!
34:07Yeah!
34:14Ah!
34:17Ah!
34:22I love what that means Team 1 gets a star
34:24Yeah!
34:28Alright, after the break we've got a game of history to test your nostalgic knowledge
34:31See you back here on 7 Days
34:33Cheers!
34:46No mai!
34:47Kukimai!
34:47Welcome back to 7 Days
34:49Oh, do you remember the past?
34:51Me too.
34:51Good times.
34:52And I thought I'd bring back those good times with the game of history here on 7 Days
34:56Ah!
34:56Teams, take a look at your screens and see what people from the past are joining us in studio tonight
35:02Zahra Clark and Vanessa Kelly, through their dance group Deep Obsession, seem to be making
35:08some serious inroads into overseas markets. They've had solid chart success here, and
35:13on the strength of that, Universal Records have poured half a million dollars into their
35:18international assault.
35:45Yeah, give it up for Deep Obsession. Amazing. Great singles there. As the Kiwi pop duo stormed
35:53the charts in 99, three consecutive number one hits are the only Kiwi group to ever do
35:56so. And joining us in studio, we have Vanessa Kelly from Deep Obsession, joining Vanessa.
36:02We have a self-described raver and Buddhist, a person addicted to African wildlife adventures,
36:09and an ultramarathon runner. So they are the people up there. You need to identify Vanessa
36:14of course, team one. You can begin. They can't answer questions, they can perform actions.
36:20Oh, okay. This might sound weird. Can I make these women dance for me?
36:26Thank you Jeremy, thank you Jeremy. Okay, I request. Just quickly, because it's a raver
36:31and a Buddhist riot. Okay, ready, ready. Cool, great, yeah, cool. Thank you, thank you.
36:47And your findings, Professor? Well, I'd have to go on another date.
36:53That was the most uncomfortable I've ever...
36:57I think there was a little bit more pep in number fours dancing, actually. Yes, yes. A little bit more
37:01raining.
37:02A little bit for the... Maybe for the raver.
37:04Okay. Because I've got another test for the wildlife adventurer. Okay.
37:07Okay.
37:14No, nothing.
37:17All right, what have you got for me? Okay, right. Okay, we've got to pick, we've got to pick.
37:21Okay, so what do we have so far? We've got number four, we were thinking...
37:24Ultra runner. Ultra runner?
37:25Well, number one, what? Wildlife, wildlife. Wildlife. Okay, number one, wildlife.
37:29Yeah, yeah, yeah.
37:29And number two, are we saying...
37:31We had a bit of sort of synergy when we were dancing.
37:33Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
37:34So she's the raver Buddhist, number two, and then number three is our pop star.
37:38Team one thinks number three is Vanessa from Deep Obsession back in the 90s.
37:42Team two, your turn now. Okay.
37:44I feel like four lived a life and now wants to settle down.
37:49Oh.
37:50That's who I think could be the pop star of nothing else but that.
37:54What else, Bubba? I want to know what else you'll...
37:56I feel like you're one of those women that senses...
37:59I'd like to know...
38:00I think you should do the guessing.
38:01Yeah, absolutely.
38:03You're all like, like, teachers.
38:07Do you want me to give you the category and you give me what number it is?
38:11Yeah, let's go.
38:11Okay. Addicted to African wildlife adventures?
38:14I would say number one.
38:16Okay. Ultra marathon runner?
38:18I want to say two.
38:20Nice.
38:20Two, ultra marathon.
38:21Raver and Buddhist?
38:23I want to say three.
38:25So you think Vanessa Kelly from Deep Obsession is number...
38:28What?
38:29Team one thinks Vanessa Kelly is number three.
38:31Team two thinks Vanessa Kelly from Deep Obsession is number four.
38:34Can I ask Vanessa Kelly from Deep Obsession to step forward, please?
38:38Oh!
38:42Wow!
38:45Thank you for joining us.
38:49I was in my radio career when you guys were having your hits.
38:52I remember.
38:53It was an amazing time.
38:54Yeah, it was.
38:54Do you remember any of those dance moves that bring back a few memories?
38:57Yeah, I don't know.
38:58Some of them I probably could work on, but I'm not sure.
39:01Some are a bit painful now.
39:02Who would be your favourite person you performed with?
39:04Because there's some pretty big names there.
39:05Gosh.
39:06Um, Macy Gray.
39:08She was pretty amazing.
39:08Oh, really?
39:09She was wild.
39:09She was amazing.
39:10Actually, I have to say, S Club 7 were a really lovely group of people, so really lovely kids.
39:15Didn't you do like a party for Robbie Williams or something?
39:17Yes, yeah, yeah.
39:18Wow.
39:18A management crew, so that was really fun, yeah.
39:21500 grand, half a million dollars, what'd you do with it?
39:24We didn't do anything with it.
39:26You didn't?
39:26No.
39:26I think everyone had a really good time on us.
39:30But I went into...
39:31I know it sounds harsh, but yeah, I mean, it was a different industry too.
39:34Put it this way, we had a lot of travelling, which was amazing.
39:37Great experiences, and very different industry now, for sure.
39:42So, yeah.
39:42Don't put out the memoirs, sis.
39:44Oh, I know.
39:45Yeah, there's a lot.
39:46There's a lot of stories.
39:47It's amazing, girl.
39:47Definitely, yeah.
39:48And for clarification, because people sort of probably assume that it's manufactured,
39:52but you wrote all your own songs.
39:53We did, yeah.
39:54Vanessa, can I tell you a secret?
39:56Yeah?
39:56I actually knew who you were, because I used to work in the warehouse,
40:00music department of the warehouse, Tenderloo.
40:03And I sold 500,000 copies of your CD, and so I sold your face quite a lot.
40:08Fantastic.
40:09You didn't say that before, did you?
40:12No.
40:15That's why I said I was going to tell you a secret.
40:18I feel like I actually was present as a 20-something-year-old on the shooting of one of your
40:23video clips.
40:24You look very familiar, actually.
40:26Yeah.
40:26Yeah, yeah.
40:27The I Feel So Cold video clip where you guys were in the crazy, like, hats, and I think a
40:32friend of mine was directing or something,
40:33and I got to come and watch that, and I was, like, mesmerised, because it was like, whoa, this is
40:38show business.
40:39It was amazing.
40:39Oh, fantastic.
40:40Sorry, can we f***ing clear this round, because you've picked someone that all of Team One know.
40:46Well, if you don't follow the news, Rhys.
40:49Who's on next week?
40:50My dad?
40:53Give it up for Vanessa Kelly from Deeper Station.
40:56Thank you, Vanessa.
40:58Looking good for you to Team One.
41:00Let's see our raver and Buddhist next.
41:02Could you step forward, please, raver and Buddhist?
41:05That is number two.
41:07You're two for two, Team One.
41:08Addicted to African wildlife adventures.
41:10That is number four.
41:12Oh, it's stuck out there.
41:13An ultra-marathon runner.
41:15Thank you very much.
41:16Give them all a round of applause.
41:17Keep your calls going for Team One.
41:19They cleaned up.
41:19They get the start.
41:22It is nearly time for a break, but first, you at home have your very own burger-fueled brain grill.
41:26Here's a picture from 1990,
41:28the year we're looking at.
41:30Soak a little bit of that in.
41:31Head to our 7 Days Instagram or Facebook page.
41:34Send us your caption that sort of fills in the blanks.
41:36You could win burger fuel for you and potentially others if you want to share that $100 voucher.
41:40You get stuck in.
41:41We will take a break, but don't go far because I'm chomping at the bit to get my dinger out
41:45for a classic game of Beat the Ding here on 7 Days Next.
42:02Hello, kia ora.
42:02Welcome back to the final of this epic episode of 7 Days where the game hangs in the balance.
42:08Only one round can lift the team to glory and bring the other crashing down in a burning heap.
42:11And I'm talking, of course, about Beat the Ding, or BTD as everyone's calling it.
42:16I'm going to give each of our contestants a category of things to list in a lot of time
42:19before I go to town on this shiny dinger.
42:21Success earns the team a star.
42:23Failure earns them shame and embarrassment and no star.
42:27Here we go.
42:28Pakaranga Bakery has horse meat pies back on the menu.
42:32Josh, you have 10 seconds to name 8 types of bakery pie with a nay in between each one, please.
42:38Go.
42:39Steak and mushroom.
42:40Nay!
42:41Uh, mince.
42:42Nay!
42:42Mints and cheese.
42:43Nay!
42:43Apple.
42:44Nay!
42:45Blueberry.
42:45Nay!
42:46Three more.
42:49Custard.
42:49Nay!
42:51Ah!
42:51Ah!
42:52Ah!
42:52Ah!
42:52Ah!
42:53Ah!
42:53Ah!
42:56Sorry, Josh.
42:57I couldn't give it to you anyway.
42:58We do have a lot of feedback about blueberry pies.
43:00We're going to find that in New Zealand.
43:01No one does a blueberry pie, mate.
43:02Why did I get the horse meat category, Jeremy?
43:05Ah!
43:06Racism.
43:07Ah!
43:08Ah!
43:08Alright.
43:09New York Mayor Zoran Mamdami is still receiving royalties for his brief career as a rapper, where
43:14he used the name Young Cardamon.
43:16Ah!
43:16Rhys, I'll give you 14 seconds to come up with five possible hip hop names based on herbs
43:21or spices.
43:22Go.
43:23Ah!
43:24Ah!
43:27Ah!
43:27Ah!
43:28Ah!
43:28Ah!
43:28Ah!
43:30Ah!
43:31Ah!
43:33Ah!
43:33Ah!
43:38Ah!
43:38Ah!
43:39Ah!
43:40Ah!
43:40Ah!
43:40Ah!
43:41Ah!
43:41Ah!
43:41Salt and pepper.
43:42Ah!
43:45I'll give you a star.
43:46Well done.
43:47Well done.
43:47Well done.
43:48Love the panic in your voice.
43:49Oh yeah.
43:50Ah.
43:50Ah!
43:50What that's true in Italy.
43:53All right.
44:00Oh my God!
44:01Wah!
44:01I'm the mother
44:09I'm the bitch
44:16I'm the butt slapper
44:17The butt slapper, we'll do it, we'll play it
44:26That is a star, well done Bubba, you get a star
44:30That is all she wrote for this episode
44:32I'm sure it comes to no surprise to you
44:33The winner of this week's show is Team 2
44:39Congratulations, well done
44:40Enjoy your garlic naan boogie boards
44:43Remember to wait 30 minutes after eating it to go swimming
44:45Thank you all at home for watching
44:47Stay safe out there Wellington
44:48Everyone else, please join me in thanking our wonderful panellists
44:51Madeline Crum, Josh, Rhys, Bubba and Brindley
44:53We'll see you in seven days on Seven Days
44:55Good night
45:03Thank you New Zealand On Air
45:04I know it's not an easy funding decision
45:06If you don't know how the funding rounds work
45:08Basically we apply kind of end of the year
45:10That goes into a panellist who decides
45:12Whether or not we deemed worthy
45:14For any of the money that's coming through
45:15That gets pulled down to a smaller funnel
45:18In which case we have to then compete
45:20Against other shows
45:21Which type of money goes
45:21Maybe so
45:22Shh
45:22Shh
45:27SHHHH
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