- 10 minutes ago
I'm dying, but Mom thinks I'm a troublemaker HD
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00:00My mom said I was born to make her suffer.
00:04The first time she breastfed me, I nearly bit her hard enough to make her bleed.
00:09Chloe, if you were half as easy as your sister, I'd probably live 10 years longer.
00:13She was wrapping my knuckles with a wooden spoon as she said it.
00:16I'd been eating my oatmeal and my hand went limp.
00:19The bowl shattered on the floor.
00:21This had been happening my whole life.
00:24When I was three, I couldn't hold a crayon.
00:27At 8, my pencil would suddenly slash across the page.
00:30By the time I was 10, it had gotten so much worse.
00:34At first, mom was worried.
00:36She was a doctor, so she took me to the hospital where she worked and had me tested.
00:40But every report came back normal.
00:42So she decided I was faking it.
00:44A liar. A troublemaker.
00:46After that, every time it happened, she'd beat me.
00:51My body kept feeling worse and worse.
00:53But my mom was a doctor.
00:55She wouldn't lie to me.
00:56So I started to believe it, too.
00:59Maybe I really was just a bad kid.
01:01Anna was sitting on the floor, playing with a toy.
01:03The fluff of the toy came loose, and Anna inhaled it.
01:06Then my sister Anna had an asthma attack.
01:09Mom heard the noise and ran over to check on her sister's condition.
01:12Grab Anna's inhaler!
01:16Mom was frantic, screaming at me to grab Anna's inhaler.
01:19I scrambled to grab it, but in the next second, it happened again.
01:22My hand spasmed uncontrollably.
01:24The inhaler went flying out the open window.
01:26No!
01:27Mom lost it.
01:28She slapped me so hard, my head spun.
01:30Chloe, are you crazy?
01:32Anything happens to your sister, you can just get out and die!
01:37She grabbed Anna, ran for the hospital, and locked the front door behind her.
01:43I collapsed on the floor.
01:45I couldn't stop shaking, couldn't stop crying.
01:47I'm sorry, Mom.
01:49I really didn't mean it.
01:51I was gasping for air, but it felt like the air was getting thin.
01:54Like I couldn't get enough, I tried to stand up.
01:57My legs had no strength at all.
01:58My palms, my arms, the places that usually ached when this happened, were completely numb now.
02:03I closed my eyes, waiting for the shaking to pass.
02:06It always did, but this time felt different.
02:08A headache was starting to pound behind my eyes.
02:10So bad it made me want to throw up.
02:12Number, I have to call.
02:13I had to tell Mom I wasn't okay.
02:15I dragged my numb body to the coffee table and clawed at the foam.
02:21Her voice was sharp, annoyed.
02:23What is it now?
02:24Your sister is on her neplizer.
02:26Can you give me one minute of peace?
02:28I tried to get the words out.
02:30Mom, I feel not well.
02:33I heard her scoff on the other end.
02:35Are you going to fake sick to compete with your sister again?
02:38How many have you pulled this?
02:40When has a single test ever shown anything wrong?
02:42Why should I believe you?
02:44In the background, I heard Anna's little voice.
02:46Mommy, I want some water.
02:48Mom's tone melted instantly.
02:50Of course, sweetie.
02:51Mommy will get it for you.
02:52Then back to me, ice cold.
02:54That is enough.
02:55I already neglect your sister enough because of you.
02:58I see a dozen sick patients at the hospital all day.
03:02And then I come home and you won't even let me rest.
03:05Every time you pull this kind of stunt, I have to drop everything for you.
03:08Now she's the one who's actually sick and you're still pulling this.
03:12I'll be home when your sister is stable.
03:14Don't call me again.
03:17She hung up.
03:19I wanted to tell her I wasn't lying.
03:21Ever since my body stopped listening to me.
03:24Every single thing was fake!
03:26The time my stomach hurt so bad I was writhing on the floor all night.
03:32You were faking to get out of a test.
03:35The time I had a 102 degree fever.
03:38You used a heating pad to fake it, didn't you?
03:41Even my asthma.
03:42You were just copying your sister for attention.
03:45And today, Anna wasn't even having an asthma attack.
03:48She was playing with a squishy toy and placed in the powder from inside.
03:52That's all.
03:53But Mom said she'd be back tonight.
03:54If I can just hold on until tonight, she'll come save me.
03:58My eyes drifted to the wall across from me.
04:00It was covered in Anna's awards and pictures.
04:03Piano competition champion.
04:05Art contest grand prize.
04:08Ballet lead dancer.
04:09There she was, in a white tutu.
04:12Sweet and confident.
04:13I felt a lump form in my throat.
04:16Then I looked at the family photo.
04:17I was in hand-me-down clothes.
04:19Messy hair.
04:21Awkward smile.
04:22Everyone loves Anna more.
04:23If I were Mom, I'd love a perfect kid like her, too.
04:27That white ballet dress is so pretty.
04:30If I could dance like that, wear a dress like that,
04:33would Mom finally love me?
04:39Suddenly, I had a burst of energy.
04:43I dragged myself across the floor toward Anna's room,
04:47reaching for the white dress.
04:48An inch.
04:49Half an inch.
04:52I finally pulled it down and hugged it tight to my chest.
04:56It smelled so good, like Mom.
04:58It felt like the warm hug I'd always longed for.
05:01I let out a final, happy breath.
05:04And just like that, all the pain disappeared.
05:07When I opened my eyes, I saw my own body slumped by the bed,
05:12clutching the dress.
05:13I was floating in the air, a soul separated from flesh.
05:17My hands passed right through my body.
05:21Panic rose in me.
05:23If Mom sees me touching Anna's dress...
05:25What did you do?
05:29Troublemaker!
05:30She'll hit me again.
05:33Mom didn't come home that night.
05:36After Anna's treatment, they ran into a friend.
05:39Anna!
05:40Long time no see!
05:43Can we sleep over at her house, please?
05:46Of course, sweetheart.
05:48Have fun.
05:49What about your other daughter?
05:51Will Chloe be alright alone?
05:53Her?
05:53She's tough as nails.
05:54No need to worry.
05:56Ever since my test came back normal,
05:58she'd always said that.
05:59Only Anna got to be delicate and cherished.
06:02If Anna scraped her knee, Mom's heart would break.
06:07But I was always expected to be strong, silent, and uncomplaining.
06:12I was used to her broken promises.
06:14Used to being left behind.
06:15Again and again.
06:18They didn't come home until the next afternoon.
06:21I floated toward them out of instinct,
06:23lifting my arms to help her take off slippers.
06:27Just like I always did.
06:29That's my girl.
06:31But my hands passed straight through her.
06:34Chloe, get out of bed right now.
06:39She walked to the kitchen,
06:41saw the empty kettle,
06:42and exploded in anger.
06:45You do nothing in this house!
06:46Just leech off me!
06:47Can't you even fill a kettle?
06:49Mom, I can't move.
06:51I'm sick.
06:52Mommy!
06:52She stole my dress!
06:54Mom rushed to the bedroom
06:55and saw my lifeless body holding the dress.
06:57Rage burned on her face.
07:02She ripped the dress away
07:04and my body slumped limply to the side.
07:09Mom's whole attention was on the dress,
07:11not me.
07:12She checked every inch,
07:13furious at the slight wrinkles on the fabric.
07:16She grabbed a thick hardcover book
07:18and threw it hard at my body.
07:19My body jolted from the impact,
07:21motionless.
07:22Who told you to touch your sister's things?
07:25She shouted insults non-stop.
07:27Then grabbed a hanger
07:28and whipped my body over and over.
07:30I watched from above,
07:31my soul floating,
07:32helpless.
07:33Every strike landed on my cold,
07:34unmoving body.
07:35When she grew tired,
07:36she kicked me harshly.
07:38Get up!
07:39Wash this dress!
07:40Write a five-page apology!
07:42No food until you finish!
07:43I didn't move.
07:44Her anger flared again,
07:46ready to hit me once more.
07:47Then her phone rang.
07:49It was the hospital calling for Mom.
07:51Her fierce expression vanished in a second,
07:54replaced by gentle softness.
07:55She promised to head over immediately.
07:57She took Anna's hand,
07:59ready to leave again.
08:00Anna glanced at me and asked softly,
08:02What about Chloe?
08:04Mom sneered.
08:05Forget her.
08:06Let her lie there starving.
08:08They left happily,
08:09talking about pizza on the way.
08:10I floated alone beside my dead body.
08:13Mom worked as a popular pediatrician,
08:15kind and patient to every sick child at work.
08:18She smiled, comforted them,
08:19gave them stickers.
08:20But to me,
08:21her own daughter,
08:22she had never been gentle.
08:23I wondered for a long time,
08:24and finally convinced myself
08:26I am a bad,
08:27annoying,
08:28unlovable child.
08:29I deserved all of this.
08:30Then the doorbell rang.
08:33It's delivery.
08:35I floated to the door
08:36and saw the takeout bag.
08:37Mom ordered food for me,
08:39afraid I would starve.
08:40A tiny flicker of warmth
08:41stirred in my heart.
08:42She still cared a little,
08:44until I saw the receipt.
08:46Shrimp scampi.
08:46I was deathly allergic to shrimp.
08:50Once,
08:51I ate it as a kid
08:51and was rushed to emergency care.
08:54Mom remembered every single one
08:56of Anna's allergies,
08:57but she'd completely forgotten mine.
09:00It's fine.
09:01I'm already dead.
09:02I can't eat it anyway.
09:03Day after day passed,
09:05and a terrible rotting smell
09:06filled the apartment.
09:08On the third day,
09:09Mom and Anna finally came home.
09:12The stench hit them
09:14the second they opened the door.
09:15Mom was disgusted and furious,
09:17yelling at me
09:17for making a mess on purpose.
09:19Anna whined to the neighbors,
09:20lying about me throwing up
09:21and making the room dirty on purpose.
09:23Neighbors grew worried
09:24about the strange rotten odor.
09:26One neighbor questioned her coldly.
09:27Has your daughter
09:28been home alone for days?
09:31Mom insisted.
09:32I was fine,
09:33old enough to take care of myself.
09:34She hated embarrassment
09:36more than anything.
09:37Now the whole neighborhood
09:38smelled the rot,
09:39and I was the one to blame.
09:42She unlocked the door,
09:43and waves of putrid air
09:45flooded out.
09:49Mom held her nose,
09:51yelling threats and insults,
09:55convinced I was acting out of spite.
09:57She walked into the bedroom
09:59and saw my curled-up body.
10:00The horrible decaying smell
10:02came entirely from me.
10:05As a doctor,
10:06she knew that smell all too well.
10:10The stench of a decomposing corpse,
10:12something she'd only encountered
10:14in morgues and labs.
10:17Never in her own home.
10:19Never from her own daughter.
10:24She froze in place,
10:25eyes wide,
10:26with terror and disbelief.
10:31She rushed over and grabbed my arm.
10:33The stiff,
10:34waxy texture of rigor mortis
10:36told her everything.
10:37My body rolled over,
10:38and she saw my face at last.
10:40Bluish,
10:41gray skin.
10:43Pale-cracked lips.
10:45Cloudy,
10:45empty eyes.
10:46She screamed and shook my body violently,
10:49begging me to wake up.
10:51Refusing to accept the truth,
10:52she told everyone a burglar
10:53must have hurt me.
10:55Police and paramedics arrived quickly.
10:57The medical examiner
10:58found blunt force trauma on my head,
11:00caused by the hardcover book on the floor,
11:02the very book mom threw at me.
11:04Mom turned pale with terror.
11:06Then the doctor spoke slowly.
11:08But that is not what killed her.
11:10The cause of death is intracranial hemorrhage,
11:13a ruptured blood vessel in the brain.
11:15It came from a long-term,
11:16undiagnosed neurological condition.
11:19There's no indication she suffered.
11:21Mom screamed in denial,
11:22saying I had normal test results years ago.
11:24The officer asked coldly,
11:26How old was she when you did those tests?
11:28Four?
11:29Children change.
11:30Illnesses develop.
11:31You are a doctor.
11:31How could you ignore that?
11:32A neighbor whose husband was a neurologist
11:34revealed the truth.
11:35I suffered from paroxysmal,
11:37kinesiogenic dyskinesia,
11:38a rare disease causing uncontrollable twitches,
11:41weakness,
11:42and body spasms.
11:43All the strange things I did as a kid,
11:45dropped bowls,
11:46messy scribbles,
11:47sudden collapses,
11:48were painful symptoms,
11:49not bad behavior.
11:51Anna suddenly cried,
11:52scared of losing mom.
11:53In a burst of rage,
11:55mom slapped her heart across the face.
11:57It's all your fault!
11:59Mom screamed at Anna.
12:01I watched coldly,
12:02used to this unfair logic.
12:04When I was sick,
12:05I was a liar.
12:06When Anna was selfish,
12:08it was my fault.
12:09The full autopsy report
12:11laid everything bare.
12:12My rare illness was treatable
12:14with simple medicine
12:15if diagnosed early.
12:17But years of neglect and denial
12:19made it worse and worse.
12:21Constant intracranial pressure
12:22finally burst my brain vessel.
12:24I wasn't naughty,
12:26wasn't attention,
12:27seeking,
12:28wasn't a bad kid.
12:30I was just a sick little girl
12:31begging for help
12:32and my own mother
12:33refused to see it.
12:35For the first time,
12:36I finally understood.
12:37I was never the problem.
12:40Mom broke down completely
12:41when she read the official report.
12:43Still unwilling to take responsibility,
12:45she blamed everything
12:46on Anna's lies.
12:47I remembered all the times
12:49Anna framed me.
12:51Knocking over milk,
12:53breaking mom's favorite trophy,
12:56hiding evidence,
12:57crying fake tears.
12:59Mom never questioned her,
13:00never checked the truth.
13:02She only saw what she wanted to see.
13:04You are the adult,
13:05the doctor,
13:06the mother.
13:07You chose to believe one daughter
13:09and abandon the other.
13:10That is no one's fault but yours.
13:16Overwhelmed by guilt and pain,
13:17mom collapsed,
13:18gasping for air.
13:22Under extreme distress,
13:24mom developed an acute anxiety disorder,
13:26heart palpitations,
13:28tremors,
13:28a feeling of impending doom
13:29at the words on the chart
13:30they were so familiar
13:31when I was alive.
13:32I felt all of those things
13:34every single day
13:35when I was six.
13:36I collapsed on the sidewalk
13:37and couldn't get up.
13:38Chloe, stop putting on a show.
13:40Get up and walk home yourself.
13:42When I was eight,
13:43the pressure in my head
13:44hurt so much.
13:45I cried all night.
13:46If I get one complaint
13:47from the neighbors
13:48about your crying,
13:49I'll call someone
13:49to come take you away.
13:55She pressed the call button again.
13:59Didn't I already tell you?
14:00There is nothing
14:01physically wrong with you.
14:03Stop hitting the call button,
14:04you're not dying.
14:06You felt this
14:06for what a few hours
14:07and you already
14:08can't take it.
14:11Mom was sentenced
14:12to prison
14:12and permanently
14:13lost custody of Anna.
14:15No relatives wanted her.
14:16She was sent
14:16to a foster home
14:17and returned
14:18in less than a week
14:19on her...
14:19I want my mommy!
14:21First day,
14:21she threw a tantrum,
14:22broke bowls,
14:23cut up her blanket,
14:24said she'd go hungry
14:25if she didn't eat.
14:26She tried tears
14:27and a hunger strike
14:28even faking up.
14:28Stomachache,
14:29nobody had the time
14:30or energy
14:30to figure out
14:31if her drama
14:31was real or fakes.
14:32So she started bullying
14:33smaller children
14:33stealing their toys
14:34when Kashi tried
14:35to blame someone else,
14:36just like she used
14:36to do to me.
14:37But now the lies
14:38were easy to see
14:39through the punishment
14:39came quickly
14:40no snacks cleaning.
14:41Standing in the corner,
14:42facing the wall,
14:43she became the most
14:43disliked kid
14:44in the entire home.
14:45Sometimes a family
14:46would come looking
14:47to adopt a girl.
14:48Anna would always
14:48push her way to the front,
14:50trying her best
14:50to look sweet and obedient.
14:51But after they learned
14:52about her history,
14:53every single one of them
14:54shook their heads
14:55and walked away.
14:57At the same time,
14:58my death became a huge story
14:59online.
15:00Parents of children
15:01with the same rare disease
15:02spoke out the comment,
15:03said her sentence
15:04was too light.
15:05Mom never saw
15:06any of those comments
15:06in prison,
15:07she started to lose her mind.
15:08Mom sometimes,
15:09she'd sit up straight
15:10and talk to the empty air.
15:11Chloe, mommy's here.
15:12Don't be afraid.
15:13She'd hug her blanket
15:14and rock it like a baby.
15:16Clutching her head
15:17and sobbing,
15:18mommy was wrong.
15:19She has nothing now,
15:20Anna's gone.
15:21I am gone,
15:21her job,
15:22her reputation,
15:23her freedom.
15:23All gone,
15:24nothing left,
15:24but her and the memories
15:25she can no longer run from
15:27for my soul
15:27faded completely.
15:29I went to see her
15:29one last time,
15:30she fell to her knees
15:31reaching out,
15:32trying to touch me.
15:33Chloe, take me with you.
15:34In the next life,
15:35I'll love you the way
15:36I should have.
15:37I hovered in front of her
15:38and looked at her.
15:39The tears were real.
15:40The regret was real.
15:41The pain was real.
15:42But what did any of it
15:43mean to me now?
15:44I said it softly,
15:45Mom,
15:45the living.
15:46Can't usually hear,
15:47but somehow she heard me.
15:48Her head snapped up.
15:51Her eyes found exactly
15:52where I was standing.
15:53Chloe, you called me?
15:55I looked at her
15:55and said calmly,
15:57Mom, no.
15:58In my next life,
15:59I never want you
16:01to be my mother again.
16:05After I said it,
16:07I felt my body
16:08getting lighter,
16:08becoming transparent,
16:10like smoke,
16:10fading in the wind.
16:11I knew my time was up.
16:13I came to a place
16:14I don't know how to describe it.
16:15There was no color,
16:16no sound.
16:17Just a soft, warm,
16:18peaceful feeling,
16:19I think I slept
16:20for a very, very long time
16:22when I woke up again.
16:23It was to warm sunlight
16:25and the sound of laughter.
16:27Welcome to this world,
16:28my baby.
16:29Mom loves you.
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