- 2 weeks ago
The Harry Hill Show - Season 2 Episode 1 - Joe Lycett
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:05yeah no it's no use guys we're gonna have to do the show
00:19hello there I'm Harry Hill and this is my show oh hi yeah now before we start I've just noticed
00:28there's a there's a fox in the middle of the studio I don't know how one how long has that
00:33been there
00:35really what am I supposed to do I mean it's partly obscuring the cameras there's a fox in
00:42me podcast studio and I'm not sure what to do there's a fox in me podcast studio it's been
00:51here since half past two it's far too heavy to lift but I know I've got to shift it cause
01:00it partly
01:01obscures the view there's a fox in me podcast studio and I don't know what to do and I don't
01:11know what
01:12to do there's a fox in me podcast studio and I don't know what to do
01:35oh thank heavens for that thought I was gonna have to phone the Beaufort hunt
01:41the guest is here daddy what's that Gary oh you're down there yes I was just saying the
01:47guest is here great oh we better welcome our guest then
01:54joe lycet it's joe lycet everyone hello hello oh it's licky the harry hill show master
02:05oh oh no licky no that's enough just a little bit just a little
02:20i was enjoying that off you go off you go licky sorry do you have lick lick his number
02:27he's he's uh x directory yes he doesn't give out his number but um very good legs on nicky
02:35great legs yeah very good like you like his shoes joe no no they they gave me the ick
02:42but the rest of lick and the shorts there was yeah it was made for a slightly smaller guy
02:51but we are where we are now uh joe thanks so much for coming all this way it's a pleasure
02:56but i understand you've also done another podcast earlier yeah i did the katherine ryan uh what's my
03:03age again podcast right which where i had to give blood yeah she takes blood off people i have to
03:08give
03:08my dignity to this one i gather from being licked it's worse than giving blood doing this one yeah
03:13um now there is something we need to talk about joe oh and i'm talking of course about simon
03:20from morley's of beck's heat bexley heath which we've become slightly obsessed with would that be
03:26fair yeah i think i think that is fair yeah i mean i think your obsession very much is the
03:34obsession and then i am encouraging your obsession by responding i would say to one in every three
03:40of the clips that you send me on instagram dms but not to all of them because you're indulging me
03:46are you no i do really like him as well and also the artist mr bingo sends me clips of
03:50his and
03:50actually i think wanted him to go to his shop or something he's he's a great he's a great foil
03:56uh how who discovered simon of bexley heath i thought it was my wife who discovered him she
04:03sent me um a clip of him hello there welcome to scopes one of the most finest suit stores of
04:09the
04:09country name is simon if you're looking for a vying suit and that please come here a wide selection
04:15of ties shirts shoes are to your disposal and the free piece to set you right for the right
04:22gentleman indeed because she's from bromley right where she says uh chiselhurst but it is a bromley
04:27postcode um she sent me a clip of it and then i forwarded it straight onto you because i thought
04:34it might be of interest i know how you'd like to collect uh individuals i do uh i think you
04:42yeah
04:42probably well it must be your wife then yeah magda must have done it because he is now a sort
04:47of
04:47he's a celebrity celebrity yeah and you are a sort of star maker through your various well i made him
04:52i made um it was louis spence you made louis spence pretty much yeah yeah no one knew louis
05:00spence before pineapple studios was featured on tv but right uh who else have i who else have i um
05:06there was the one that when i was on alien fun capsule i think it was on alien fun capsule
05:11coventry
05:12market coventry market the guy from well there's so many from but coming back to simon what
05:17is it about simon that um there's that you like do you think well i think it gets to um
05:25a theory that i have about sort of all creativity and the and the arts is that when things are
05:30imperfect or there are things that aren't necessarily um polished or accomplished that that's more
05:37relatable and more pleasing as a viewer if you just look at something that's perfect yes it's fine
05:45but then if there's something a bit off about it that's your brain then starts to have to fill in
05:51the gaps a little bit and that's more interesting oh right you've really thought about it then yeah
05:55well for example i think when you watch something like graham norton actually it's the bits where he's
06:01a it gets a bit awkward because he doesn't quite know what to say and then he fills the gap
06:05is the interesting bit if he was super slick i mean he is sleeper stick but you know what i
06:10mean yes
06:11it's a kind of english is it an english sensibility or british sensibility maybe maybe yeah but he's so
06:17lovely with it simon and he's got he's clearly a really uh sort of energetic up for it character
06:25it'd be great to meet him wouldn't it it'd be great to meet him but i think that the the
06:28morley's
06:29uh higher ups it's simon from morley's of makes the heat everyone i mean simon say hello to joe
06:45i'm around here i'm god oh my question where's my fox
06:48hmm the fox oh it's your phone oh i see you yeah it's not you're getting back
06:53glad house again and you're in this i can't believe you're here it's a pleasure it is a
06:58pleasure no pleasure's all mine i've i've actually considered coming to bexley heath to come to the
07:05shop and get dressed with my lovely shoes yes shoes yes and all of the stuff that you did at
07:14christmas i'm so starstruck that you're here yeah i felt a bit like that when we met earlier wow
07:20top man got me here so do you know the artist mr bingo you familiar with him um not 100
07:26but fill
07:27me in because i think he wanted to do something with you and he felt that the the higher ups
07:33at
07:33morley's said no no such trouble well clearly they're only too keen to give him the day off
07:43i essentially thought you were unbookable so i just presumed that you wouldn't have been able to get
07:48but that's unbelievable yeah well to be fair when it's harry hill everything has to be put aside
07:53it's harry hill come on yeah well of course and of course you as well i'm now simon james yeah
07:57but
07:57it's harry hill i mean wow so what yes do you know how you are we running yes we are
08:04yes do you know
08:05how your popularity start or when it started or funny thing is though the very first video we actually
08:11did it was just literally just we ran with the idea no script no idea we just kind of said
08:16well
08:17i'm gonna do this comfortable um but yeah we just kind of ran with the idea got the video i
08:21was
08:21just say just promote scopes and yeah because you look after the scopes uh section which is a
08:28it's not the same as scope the the shop the charity shop the charity shop no it's menswear so it's
08:34menswear
08:34yes and actually you talk about that first clip we've actually got it if you're looking for a vine
08:38suit and that please come here a wide selection of ties shirts shoes at your disposal and the free
08:45piece to set you right for the right gentleman indeed we do have a very fine selection of top range
08:51shoes is for any customer colors black brown and tanned and for the more exquisite tastes the
08:59ponate suits for more delicate dinner parties that we do serve with our fine dinner suits combined speaking
09:05of which the fine dinner suits for those more special events for mine things to have an elegant
09:13silver interior free piece to go and our velvet range as well with bow ties and shirts to finish
09:19that touch and finally a nice selection of colorful ties great it's great it's so good the thing is i
09:28said shoes in the first part perfectly and then i wanted they say shoes plural with an es and then
09:35shoes just came out of it and again not even planned to do that that just came out naturally it's
09:40a
09:40living language this is what people forget about english it is a living language yes it's a breathing
09:46one yes indeed living and breathing language is this something you thought you you might perhaps go
09:51into in simon you know sort of presenting or did you have any uh what's the plan well i'm going
09:57to
09:57continue to keep doing it of course because i'm loving it you know all the attention that comes
10:01with it the popularity the fun of it people come in actually meeting you that's an experience i'm
10:06still getting used to are you getting people coming tomorrow just to say literally two days ago when i
10:11was working someone just came in like he i think he lived quite far away he literally just came down
10:17to come meet me and say i love your videos and asked him to say could you do a happy
10:21birthday to a
10:22friend of mine i'm happy to do that but now the weirdest part of the moment is you walk on
10:27the
10:27street and someone recognizes you that was a weird experience you know it's like i'm an average guy who
10:34just works in a store but all of a sudden all this is now happening in a short amount of
10:39months that's
10:39that's um it doesn't seem to be phasing you like you i mean you're doing you're very well here you
10:45you seem to be born for it um well what does help a little bit long is i did like
10:52performing arts
10:53during my education oh i've done all that so you can project yes yes yes i think also one other
10:59thing
10:59i've lived on the internet for a little time because you know i'm only 34 so i'm still quite
11:04young man but growing up with all that you kind of get used to like cameras and phones all that
11:08like
11:09going with all that and i've also learned with the internet there are three types of people you're
11:13going to learn someone's going to like it someone's going to hate it someone's not going to care
11:17you have to deal with that yeah but i said i mean absolutely i haven't very healthy response to it
11:21because yeah yeah because the internet does give you basically every opinion possible oh yes that's
11:28a fun little hand um playground to go on but me and harry hill adore you we do so that
11:34whenever
11:35anything gets you down you just have to remember that we love you don't ever change simon well what i
11:41would like to see is a change in the contract what that morley's has with you because i'm surely
11:45the money that you'll be bringing in they should be bumping up the fee i think yeah we're negotiating
11:51that negotiate good yes do you think what i am wearing is acceptable yeah you're looking quite
11:58fine i say very you know delectable and very fantastic yeah that's exactly what i want
12:04there's something i would definitely elevate that at all oh can i show you the t-shirt oh go go
12:09on
12:09let's see it's a comedy t-shirt comedy t-shirt on it says what does it say i know html
12:15how to meet
12:16ladies i get it yeah do you know how to meet ladies do you have a lady no i'm currently
12:24single at the
12:25moment are you looking oh well that'll change believe me simon would you perhaps be able to do
12:33an advert for this show i'll be delighted to of course hello there have you heard the greatest
12:40podcast show of all time in britain the harry hill show with celebrities guests and of course the man
12:46himself harry hill popping by we'll love to have you here well we don't want you here we want you
12:53to watch it yeah you want me to again simon no no it's fantastic simon fantastic thank you so much
13:00that was so good yeah yeah it's lovely to see simon wasn't it how do you feel about ai joe
13:07i'm very
13:08conflicted about it yes me too i've had to delete instagram from my phone because i do there are a
13:15few
13:15like ai slop accounts now that really grip me yeah and just one accounts yeah whether it's just
13:23people making sort of the most sort of engaging thing that's i don't know whether they've worked
13:30out psychologically the video that i watch sort of on repeat and i don't know why i find it so
13:36satisfying is it's a a sort of east asian woman bringing two big beers into a restaurant right and
13:43then she puts them down and they smash and the sort of the energy of the smash projects her up
13:50into
13:50the ceiling and the sort of smoke comes out of her ass then she explodes a man who sat there
13:57his head
13:57explodes and then an anteater climbs out of the wall and drinks out of his neck right and it sounds
14:05horrible but it's really you're just so like at every stage i don't know what's going to happen next
14:10and i think it's it's really gripping but there's no moral to it there's no story it's just what can
14:18we get you with you know what can we watch yeah which i sort of feel is similar to this
14:22program
14:24we started it we started it yeah um well we have harnessed i like to think ai for good and
14:31we have
14:31sarah the ai bot come on out sarah who's going to tell us a little bit about come on out
14:36sarah
14:36she rustles when she walks everyone it's sarah the ai bot now sarah say hello to joe joe likes it
14:45hi mummy that's what you call yo self in it babs mummy mummy mummy mummy i got a beef burger
14:50in me
14:51tummy when i been undone with it i poop it out me bummy all right oh yeah just sarah have
14:57a bummy
14:57uh i think she's adopted a lot of the kind of you know human uh characteristics or terms
15:05to make us seem more um relatable right i see and i think that's her way so there's no sort
15:12of
15:12exhaust pipe on sarah um i didn't you know i didn't i didn't design sarah that's obviously
15:20who designed sarah who's fujitsu the you know the fujitsu yeah who did the royal male computer
15:27accounting system you don't you don't often see fujitsu products with so much gaffer tape
15:32it's not gaff i don't think it's gaffer tape i think it's it's gaffer effect uh tape gaffer effect
15:38i'm starting to talk like simon now um so uh tell us a bit about joe then sarah i don't
15:47want to
15:47i'm tired oh come on come on sarah talk about talk about joe come on can't i just give him
15:55the twix and off no you can't there is a twix at the end of it it's the uh if
16:01you're lucky come
16:01on sarah say something please okay here goes yeah thank you joe harry lysett is a british comedian
16:08television presenter and painter early life and education joe harry lysett was born in hall
16:15green birmingham his grandmother's family was related to the wilkinson baronets and his
16:20grandpappy was in the royal antediluvian order of buffalo's lysett studied drama and english at
16:25the university of manchester is that uh is that true joe about the the wilkinson baronets
16:36what's that i was sort of half heard it because sarah was really quiet speed yes um well we don't
16:43like she can't speak too loud because of spill yeah
16:50just keeping behind the curtain for a moment yeah yeah i understand the technological uh restrictions
16:55of sarah um so i i think what you're getting at is i did the who do you think you
17:00are program
17:01right and in that i learned that my great grandfather or great great grandfather was
17:08part of the buffaloes which was a sort of um a weird cult essentially but like a kind of
17:14benevolent cult they they didn't do anything particularly odd to my observation they just
17:19liked sort of dressing up and going above pubs and having their little meetings right what was the
17:23buffalo thing then is that that's it they were called the buffaloes oh right but they didn't get
17:27dressed up as buffaloes no they didn't dress up as buffaloes they dressed up it was sort of almost
17:31sort of military sort of garb and my mom said that she remembered the buffaloes being really nice and
17:36they gave them some sort of fruit at christmas oh okay but it's only your granddad isn't it so i
17:41mean it's not that far back great great grandfather yeah yeah but even so do you need uh who do
17:47you
17:47think you are to find that out feels like i mean normally they go right back to i don't know
17:53nelson or
17:53something georgian times yeah it was it was sort of quite disappointing as a program how far back
18:00did they go i think they only went back another generation maybe two to robert wilkinson who um
18:06or stabby bob as we like to call him because he um he stabbed somebody in the military oh right
18:13he was potentially massacred quite a lot of chinese people which they decided to tell me in a chinese
18:17restaurant um so look you you went to um the university of manchester i did yeah and you studied
18:28drama so you were straight in you knew pretty much what you wanted to drama with english it was uh
18:34so
18:34there was some something redeemable about that as a course um yeah i thought i'd be an actor i loved
18:41a
18:41program called the oc i don't know did you ever watch the oc it was very popular when i was
18:46a teenager
18:46what did it stand for orange county right set in orange county in california everyone's beautiful
18:52it's sunny and i watched it and i just wanted to be there and live their lives and not be
18:57in
18:57birmingham in the gray and so i thought my route there was through being an actor right i mean it's
19:04an imperfect and are you any good at acting no no me neither i tried to get roles in um
19:10all sorts of
19:11things and i got a role in sunday in the park with george the musical as the baker and my
19:18only line
19:19was i made your favorite cream puffs and they needed someone just for that one line that's it yeah so
19:27that's that's the extent oh i have actually done some voiceover acting i um i played uh in a an
19:33animated
19:34series in america it's the only thing i've done in america um i played a talking foreskin
19:40okay okay so what sort of voice did you it's just this voice brummie just a kind of straight
19:47brummie voice yeah i think the problem with acting for me is a the hanging around a lot of hanging
19:53around right yeah god yeah and also that i want the spotlight to be on me yeah that too much
20:03to ask
20:04no we've got one yeah that's my spotlight that i've set up very well beyond me
20:08sarah do you have anything further to add
20:12career lyset began performing stand-up in 2009 and won award lyset took over sewing bee from
20:18winkelman took over travel man from aard watch out if you got a show lyset will take it over
20:24in 2020 he changed his name to hugo boss lyset started presenting his consumer show joe lyset's
20:31got your bag and became a sexy watchdog in 2022 lyset appeared on sunday with laura poonsberg using
20:39apophysis he said that he would not say that liz truss was the backwash of available mps and that
20:45truss was right to ignore economist stark predictions yeah you're a disruptor aren't you
20:50no you would you say i would never disrupt anything yeah that's what your whole shtick's been
20:55it seems to me you didn't disrupt uh okay you didn't do you feel i'm disrupting this program
21:01you haven't so far disrupted nothing but polite but that's because we're on the same side
21:07oh are we i think well i'll be the you probably see the world like me as two different sides
21:13um how could i disrupt this program if i wanted to i don't know run out and uh
21:23i don't know i would never want to disrupt no but broadly you are a disruptor of the i am
21:29yeah
21:29of the um of institutions and what is seen as the uh kind of a normal order of things i
21:36would say
21:37yes yeah um where does that come from joe i've always been uh recalcitrant were you a naughty
21:45boy no i just talked at school but i didn't know anything particularly naughty i just talked in
21:49class when i shouldn't have done um but i always uh questioned the authority of teachers and anyone
21:56in authority really and just thought well who decided you get to tell me what to do and didn't
22:01like being told to do at school or in any workplace i was in so i don't know where that
22:07comes from what
22:08were some of the workplaces uh i sold soffits and guttering yeah uh in a phone like a call center
22:16so
22:16what is the difference between uh a soffit i often get this wrong the difference between a soffit and a
22:22barge board i don't i didn't know then what a soffit was i don't know now but i was selling
22:26them
22:27it's a roofing is the soffit like a sort of a joining bit yeah we need to find that out
22:34i thought
22:34you would know that sarah might know would you know sarah sarah would you i think she's in standby
22:41mode she doesn't react no i yeah i get that yeah um yeah so i sold soffits and guttering i
22:51was a
22:51swimming teacher for a while i sold ice creams in a theater worked behind a bar how do you teach
22:57people to swim what's your what's the tricks for that well you start off in a pool yeah we'll take
23:06that as red yeah yeah and then so would you see what happens would these be children or all ages
23:13actually yeah i um i had an older woman that i taught for a while and she didn't she didn't
23:20like
23:20me i i um what i would do is i'd compare the people that i was teaching to fish to
23:25give them
23:26an idea of what their stroke was like so i there was a kid that was sort of a bit
23:30upward so i said
23:31you're a bit like a seahorse right you're creating a lot of drag so you need to be like that
23:35and with
23:35her the older woman i said that she was like a goldfish and that she didn't have any sense of
23:40direction and kept shitting into the water and what was the ideal fish the ideal fish really is sort
23:47of um dolphin an eel or a dolphin yeah something that sort of you know is fluctuate through the
23:52water cuts through the water and how would that work you just arrange to meet people at the leisure
23:56center i mean it's quite a good one because you don't need premises do you that well you do need
24:01premises and yeah but you just say i meet you at the leisure center oh i don't need premises yeah
24:05yeah exactly well it was small heath uh pool and they they contracted me i guess oh i see right
24:11i don't
24:11know if they contract with employed me too yeah it was a while ago i didn't last very long
24:15you couldn't be like a freelance i i accidentally hit a child with a rescue brick so right they
24:22didn't take my they didn't take my excuse it was an accident because it happened in the car park
24:27very good very good um so sarah do we have anything further lyset arranged for the birmingham lord
24:37mayor cllr yvonne mostito to officially open his kitchen extension in 2023 lyset began hosting late
24:45night lyset that includes interviews with celebs linda biscuits portrayed by chili the labrador is
24:51shown operating a camera whilst cats playing in a field is shown dark linda has also urinated on the
24:57set beside him other activities are painting that's it you're up to date with my mammy i'd walk a million
25:03miles for one of your smiles my mam mam mammy twix drop that was there's the twix wow thank you
25:13yeah that's
25:13for you there isn't an exhaust is there not an obvious one no i think it'd be more of a
25:21usb i
25:21think it's a usb thing and so she just stands there now does she just just there yeah she she
25:28has to
25:28stand that she can't really uh i mean if if it was someone in the outfit she couldn't change out
25:35of it
25:35because it makes a rustling noise so she does she would technically if that was the case have to stand
25:40there for a while um so you got that was that difficult to get that mare yvonne mosquito is that
25:47her real name yeah yeah fantastic name yeah yvonne mosquito yvonne mosquito so her husband winston has
25:55the mosquito surname obviously and then she took it um it was quite tricky because it was just a
26:00it was just a joke email it started out as i would be i've had my kitchen done and it
26:05was a little
26:06kitchen extension not a huge um space whatever and i just said i'd like the lord mayor to open it
26:12and the email back said oh the lord mayor doesn't do private events but wishes you well
26:17and had they not given a reason as to why i would have just accepted that but the fact that
26:23they said
26:23it was a private event and that was the only obstacle yeah well then i thought well let's see if
26:28we can
26:28make it a public event i see yeah so then i sold tickets to the public to come to my
26:33kitchen extension
26:35and there's a picture of me so i had all the builders that worked on it lined up on a
26:39red carpet
26:40and she walked down the red carpet and shook their hand and there's a picture of me next to her
26:45looking out with a face of what the basically i can't believe this is happening and it's still one
26:53of that and she did she wrote a speech to say what a momentous day for birmingham it was uh
26:58it was it
26:59was a one of the happiest days of my life yeah i mean we got a plaque she brought the
27:04lord mayor's
27:04plaque which is on the wall there now but i mean this idea this is just you i mean sitting
27:10around
27:12thinking just thought yeah or someone said to you how did it come about this you know there's just the
27:18idea i think basically i you know spent quite a lot of money on my kitchen extension and i thought
27:23well it'd be nice to have some sort of ceremony it's just pride just pride in the kitchen actually
27:26i remember so a friend of mine had a toilet done and i i cut the toilet roll outside so
27:31i think the
27:32idea of a ceremony for a new building had kind of got into my head from there and then i
27:36thought
27:36well what's you want a dignitary really but in some ways you know although it was started as a joke
27:43it is sort of a a kind of uh you have kind of put birmingham a certain amount of civic
27:50pride back to
27:51birmingham i'd say because you do that thing you do also the um the is it like a what have
27:57you called
27:57it there's like a that area you live in is is now a oh yes i've turned it into a
28:02gay village yeah into
28:03a gay village well that was i mean there's two strands to that one was there was sort of anti
28:10-lgbt
28:10protests outside schools in the area and that was making me angry and then i read that if you live
28:18in a gay village your house price is higher and i thought well that'd be nice so i thought how
28:24do
28:24we merge these two issues together turn kingsheath is what it's called into queensheath right but i
28:32didn't want people to know it was me doing it because then it wouldn't happen because they go it's
28:36just like a stunt yeah so i had to do it undercover so i created a whole fake american institution
28:42called
28:42the gayborhood institute that declares which areas in the world are official gayborhoods and a guy
28:48called ken from new york runs it and i bought a burner phone that i pretended to be ken on
28:53and declared
28:54that kingsheath was now a gay village sent that to the press because the press don't check anything
28:59they just ran it we've got loads of articles and then we put on a pride without like i was
29:05in a
29:05costume not dissimilar to sarah's not costume and um now we've been running a pride for five years
29:12and my house price went up yeah but you also had the kitchen done so that would add value
29:18and the lord mayor opened it so yeah this yeah
29:29it doesn't seem like four years since liz trust's mini budget causing severe market panic
29:37a sharp drop in the pound it's now widely seen as an almighty cock up we at regency innovations are
29:44proud to mark this landmark four-year anniversary landmark with the liz trust cock up coin collection
29:50six coin fashion from metal from lizzie's melted down belt buckles and embossed with images of lizzie
29:57herself along with some of lizzie's best known sayings like the junior air hostess badge and i'm not
30:05interested and let's get them removed and i am resigning just eight million of these coins are being
30:11made making them collector's items and any leftover will be melted down and formed into a metal club
30:17that can be used to hit disadvantaged people with
30:23by all six liz trust cock up coins and get this special yellow display rack absolutely free
30:30the liz trust cock up coin collection you'd be mad to miss out warning liz trust cock up coins are
30:38not
30:38legal tender but you may be able to force them into some slot machines if swallowed will cause slow
30:43decline of all faculties except smell keep out of the reach of people regency innovations princely
30:49interventions in an uncaring world this episode is sponsored by shopify so difficult starting a business
30:57isn't it gary yes remember that business you tried to start yes i mean you're full of doubts aren't you
31:03will it work no it didn't will people buy it no they didn't can i do it no you can't
31:09well there's no
31:10need to worry because shopify can help shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses
31:15worldwide big brands like heinz but also for people just like you and it's super easy it gives you
31:22everything you need to get going in one place from building your online store with ready-made templates
31:28to match your style to shopify is built-in ai tools to help you write product descriptions
31:36enhance images and take care of all the fiddly bits it's even got email and social media tools to spread
31:43the word about your brand so that's a big part of the marketing taken care of and if you ever
31:48get stuck
31:48shopify is award-winning support is there to help whenever you need it i need it now turn your big
31:55business idea into with shopify on your side sign up for your one pound per month trial and start
32:02selling today at shopify.co.uk go to shopify.co.uk but not right now later maybe shopify.co.uk
32:14shopify shopify shopify shopify shopify.co.uk it's time for our theme of the week
32:30scrabble it's scrabble and we're joined by natalie zolte who is a maths teacher from the west midlands
32:38turned professional scrabble player she has become the top scrabble player in the uk
32:44winning 12 games out of 15 at the uk open scrabble competition sorry can we change that oh it's not
32:53true no no that's probably what was in top female a top female oh i see yes so just where
33:00would that
33:00be it's more like sort of 10th 11th in the uk there's a lot of guys there's a lot of
33:05guys which
33:05is probably a good question why is there so many guys but yeah yeah that would be a good question
33:10i
33:10see it's still very impressive though top female in the uk top female scrabble player in the uk and you're
33:16in
33:16the west mids where solihull oh i was born in solihull hospital which is what sarah got wrong she said
33:22i was
33:22born in hall green incorrect i was born in solihull hospital um and your bins being collected the bins
33:29are being collected so you're probably yeah we're yeah we're solihull council it's a different council
33:35area our bin like our black bin bags are being collected right the recycling hasn't been collected
33:40for over a year a year right yeah but this is you know it's supposed to be about the scrabble
33:46really i mean this is nice but garden waste so the garden waste is in yeah and you pay extra
33:52for
33:52the garden waste but then they didn't empty it it's not paying extra and you're not getting the service
33:56i should say they moved to solihull sorry scrabble well no just saying that natalie you're driving
34:01right so you could give i i could give you a lift give me a lift home oh that's very
34:04lovely i'll take
34:06that off though yeah great okay so um so tell us a little bit about scrabble um i'm going to
34:12start with
34:12the just a basic what is scrabble natalie scrabble is the world's best board game in my opinion or
34:20sometimes called a mind sport to give it you look a bit dubious there have you played risk i have
34:26played risk i didn't like risk at all i love risk monopoly dominating monopoly goes on for hours no no
34:33no scrabble is absolutely the best um based on well you can see down here based on a board hundred
34:40tiles
34:40with letters on and basically the aim is to make words and score more points than your opponent
34:47there's a lot more to it a lot more to it is there a lot more to it there is
34:50a lot more to
34:51it in what um isn't it just about your vote it's a bit of luck it's a bit of luck
34:57and it's a bit of
34:58just about you know if you're very well read you've got a wide vocabulary no no oh natalie yeah so
35:04no a lot of the top players are not even english speakers so it's almost like you're thinking of
35:12the words as those are the allowable patterns of letters and you just learn them what do you mean
35:17the allowable words of the allowable patterns of letters yeah well like like i've got harry as a word
35:24on the board down there have a look but yeah so h-a-r-r-y that's allowable h-o
35:30-r-r-y not allowable
35:32so you just learn it doesn't matter what it means a lot of them are not even english speaking
35:36are names allowed in scrabble um not as a name it'll mean something else if they've got
35:42is harry usable harry is a usable one because you can harry some harry somebody yeah you can
35:49top players are maths english computer sorry not english maths computer oh right very bright so
35:55what you're saying is that there are certain um words that you've all got that you think right
36:02i've got to try and get you know uh i don't know skewer in or something would that be a
36:06good one
36:06skewer you would not be a good one because there's only one k in the bag so you would not
36:11be going for
36:12a k what you're doing k is quite a good one though isn't it eight is that eight or four
36:16five five
36:17well five's not bad five's not bad what you're doing you're learning it's better than six the one
36:26pointers are actually the best because they make up the more common words so you are learning we use
36:32software loads of software to learn the words in the probability that they're likely to appear on your
36:38rack so uh there's like 160 000 words to learn or something like that which is a mammoth task so
36:44you
36:45have to learn them in a what would mammoth be i was gonna say yeah uh well it wouldn't there's
36:49only two m's in the bag so you'd never get mammoth you'd have to use a blank for the other
36:53m yeah but
36:53you can do that i mean you can use a blank yeah yeah yeah so it feels like it's a
36:57rather sort of
36:58when it gets to a sort of professional level it's rather cynical approach to game playing well i don't
37:05suppose it was how it was designed it was actually designed back in the 40s in america right it was
37:11a new
37:11york architect called alfred butts that designed it but again he was a maths type well a logical
37:18type of person he wasn't particularly interested in words so i don't suppose he ever thought it
37:23would go to this level that it's gone to now yeah yeah fascinating do you get a financial reimbursement
37:30for winning a scrabble game a bit i mean you use the word professional sadly there aren't any
37:35professional scrabble players not even you said you've made a few people could you make scrabble
37:39big do you think because that's what's going to happen after this that's what we want because
37:44we want it like darts or whatever as big as simon from bexley heath has it ever been on tv
37:49scrabble
37:51it's streamed to youtube it is streamed i've been a commentator actually on the on the streaming so it
37:55is streamed and we do get the americans get quite a lot of views but it's not it's not darts
38:01and it's not
38:01snooker yet so what would the commentary be on scrabble then you'd be saying he's looking in his bag
38:06there do you know we're not sure what um do you get to you get to see what they what
38:13you have to
38:14hold the bag nice and high up there so you're not looking in the bag so if you were looking
38:17that would
38:17be a problem so yeah no yeah you get to see what letters so you might do this he's working
38:24towards
38:25that he's and reading body language you could read the opponent's body language then how would that
38:30help well little tells in the way they've got the tiles on the racks and if they're crying if
38:35they're crying screaming what do you mean whether you look at someone's body language you can you
38:40wouldn't be able to tell where they got a k and an m and a no but i think i
38:43could i think so yeah i
38:45think if i with harry i think i know harry well enough that i'd know if he had a k
38:48in there
38:49like that they'd be like that they'd be going oh i'm not sure what to um he's got a k
38:56exactly
38:58not sure what to
39:00i'm not sure what letter to use i might use my p
39:07do you play scrabble uh well like most people just sort of at christmas or
39:11in caravans people think it's sort of yeah in caravans do you have a do you have a caravan
39:17i don't have a caravan it's a stereotype and i apologize for that i think the stereotype is sort
39:22of with your granny and a custard cream at christmas but it's not like that it's not so
39:28who are the sort of top guys are they sort of young sort of there are they're all guys there's
39:32hardly
39:33any women up there hardly any um yeah poker players the the second in the world is a really
39:40good poker player they're young they're fit quite often but you need a lot of mental stamina
39:45now i'm interested now i'm interested not like that well yeah so yeah i'll be googling later yes do
39:53yeah do you have a name for us who's the sort of one perhaps to look out for oh nigel
39:58so there's a
39:59guy he needs no no yeah yeah yeah absolutely nigel what nigel richards look him up he needs no
40:07surname he's like oh he's just nigel yeah he's won the french speaking yep the spanish doesn't speak
40:14french look him up there you are straight away he doesn't speak french and he doesn't speak french
40:19because he just learned the whole dictionary he just learned it what about other um nationalities
40:24that don't necessarily use an alphabet so like a chinese is there a chinese version there are 30
40:30different language versions i'm not aware of a chinese but most you know with the because they've
40:34got like yeah yeah this is nigel richards oh that's nigel yeah you said he was young and fit he's
40:41not
40:41no i didn't say he was he's not got that beard anymore maybe that was his secret yeah okay yeah
40:48i'll
40:48continue my investigation later and so for him to win what sort of score would he be getting
40:53uh well so far this year i've averaged 450 in a game so he might be getting towards 500 in
41:00a game
41:00perhaps but it's more just tactics super tactical in what way well tactical because you'd say i'm not
41:07going to put my m there because they can oh lots of yeah so it's all about probability so as
41:13especially
41:14as you get through the game you cross off the tiles that have gone and you know what's left so
41:19you're
41:19working out there's a one in eight chance i might get an s or whenever it's all about probability so
41:24he's excellent at that sort of thing weighing up what you do risk and and what might happen
41:30it's also quite a good life lesson because like you said there's some luck in it and you can do
41:35absolutely everything right a bit like in life and it all goes wrong or not so it's uh yeah yeah
41:40tell me about it it's a character what character building and it's for how many for four is it four
41:47players no no no two it's just for two it's always just for two and custard cream scenario is the
41:52sort
41:52of four player but yeah we play i'm sure i normally play because you get the little racks yeah yeah
41:57it
41:57doesn't work properly with four isn't that the rules if they give you four racks you can have four
42:01people four but you need to be sort of eyeball to eyeball with one oh i see that's the professional
42:07level right yeah who decided what um different letters should be worth right so alfred butts back
42:14in the 1940s when he was designing it spent a lot of time he got the letter distribution by looking
42:21at
42:21the new york times and the newspapers and looking at all the words on there deciding the distribution
42:27spent a long time and he decided the point value they've not changed since yeah i mean i thought that
42:32the people that played scrabble would be the same people that did crosswords a little bit of overlap
42:38and crosswords is more about you know sort of problem solving you know it's been interesting
42:45words or it's a bit of general knowledge and all that but this is what you're saying really is it's
42:50just a question of math it's in it's about english but it's maths it's maths yeah it sounds boring when
43:00you put it like that doesn't it no it doesn't maths is great if people want to find out more
43:06about
43:06scrabble or get involved is this a public event this um uk open yeah there's a lot of tournaments
43:12there's one at least once a month all around the country so we could go along and see you playing
43:17there's a website yeah uh you could yeah yeah you could what is the website the website is absp that's
43:24the association of british scrubbleplayers.org.uk okay president is giles brundrith oh giles brundrith
43:31i will not be in attendance right okay i've got a number of legal legal issues with giles oh really
43:38okay no giles won't be in attendance i've never seen him no he doesn't go he's an honorary position
43:43yeah he started the national scrubble championships in the 70s but i've not yeah yeah all right well
43:48natalie it's been lovely talking to you thank you for telling us all about scrabble
43:55it's time to play name the celebrity seed
44:03you know how they do like a celebrity version of of quizzes joe well we're doing that with name
44:11the seed um it's a celebrity seed not i should say the seed of a celebrity that would be disgusting
44:20and incredibly impractical i can't imagine how you'd even do that what we've got basically
44:26is a ziploc bag previously contained uh a charles poncho we open that that's been sealed and inside that
44:34we have a box of seeds how many seeds are available over eight thousand seven season in here we have
44:42an
44:43envelope a sealed envelope joe yes you can have a look at that yeah well it's got my name on
44:50it
44:51well it's not addressed to you that's just for my because there's another one in there as well for the
44:57next
44:58guest guest so i'm gonna i'm gonna open that now okay you can see i'm opening this and in here
45:10we've
45:11got a seed and on the seed is a picture of a celebrity okay so yeah so i printed off
45:18tiny
45:20photographs okay tiny photographs i'm calling that like a cassette
45:26yes i've glued a seed on there and then there's a tiny uh photograph of the celebrity that i shrunk
45:33down
45:34and printed off using my laser printer and then glued it on right and it's your job what do you
45:39think
45:39your job is to name the seed and the celebrity exactly let's play name the celebrity seed
45:51it works did you make this i did yeah wow car aerial and uh battery that's so good
46:00anyway you've got as long as it oh do you want to have a look yes ideally yeah it's just
46:05it's moving you
46:06see there is an option if you're unsure i'm not sure it's even facing you in the right
46:19i know who it is obviously i know oh whoa whoa whoa whoa come on don't spoil it i'm a
46:26disruptor
46:30can i hold it still yeah don't let it fall off that's that'll spoil it because on the other side
46:37is the full-size picture i see i see so should we do the seed first i think the seed
46:44is um it looks
46:46like a like a squash seed or yes something like a pumpkin-y something like that yeah but specifically
46:52what are you saying uh i think it's a squash okay and and the celebrity is this is supposed to
47:02we're
47:02supposed to get this after this has gone what is it gail platt are you that's it's got to go
47:08back
47:10it's got to go back there is another option you right what's we have a magnifying glass we're
47:16obviously going to reduce your point the points you'd get no because the the i've got good eyesight
47:23and i don't think you would see i think the printer is a low resolution so i don't actually
47:28think you would it's a laser printer so well the laser is i don't know what the dpi on that
47:34is but
47:34it's low i think it's pretty clear okay so you're saying gail platt and you're saying a squash seed
47:41either gail platter what's her mum's name the audrey audrey audrey from the hairdressers it's it's
47:51what i'm looking at unless that unless i'm wrong and i it's just like the shape of a face with
47:59some
47:59hair yeah of course and then like white and red lines where their face is the shapes but there's
48:07no what do you just commit please you're saying a squash seed and you're saying audrey audrey from
48:13coronation street yeah audrey roberts audrey roberts yeah nation street is that right it's not audrey
48:21roberts it's not a squash right do you want to have a look with the yeah see if that gives
48:26you a little
48:27clue there it's exactly what i thought it's it's you it's indecipherable it's not it's not actually
48:37can you see now well can i yeah i mean gail it's not going is it margaret thatcher you you're
48:46getting
48:46closer liz truss it's this oh and it's a courgette wow good wow congratulations very close very close
48:58i can't give it to you because no because i was your first answer that was name the celebrity seed
49:15it's good isn't it
49:19gary's joke corner gary's joke corner isn't it daddy yes it is and uh as you know joe i'm handing
49:26the
49:26business over to gary in um 2030 he's going to take over when i retire uh and he's looking for
49:32jokes do you
49:33have a joke for gary have you got a joke i do have a joke actually i didn't write it
49:39i don't know who
49:39wrote it doesn't matter it's just a stock joke he's a joke he's a joke thief um he's the joe
49:45pasquale
49:46i'm the joe pasquale of comedy that's interesting um did you know that they um they don't have the
49:58flintstones in dubai because they abu dhabu abu dhabi do abu dhabi do abu dhabi do i love that
50:09i love that joke have you got a joke for us gary yes i have
50:15don't make that noise gary why not it'll limit my appeal daddy all right here we go then so what's
50:20your
50:21joke yeah daddy daddy daddy daddy what's white what's white with bits in and goes up and down
50:27up and down i don't know gary what is uh white with bits and goes up and down up and
50:33down a mcflurry
50:34in a kangaroo's stomach not even it's proper setup
50:42what flavor crunchy
50:49oh that's the sound that tells me we've come to the end of our pod scarf so all that remains
50:54is to thank our expert natalie zolte simon from morley's of bexley heath of course and our special
51:00guest joe lycett butterfly in blue jeans hamster in a ship on top puppy in a poncho fluffy duckling
51:16with a bob but to fly in blue jeans these are the things
51:24of our dreams
51:30good night everyone thanks for watching see you next time
51:43great job joe thanks for doing it appreciate it my pleasure
51:48joe jenny back to bernie
51:52harry hill show
52:01it's the harry hill show
52:06harry hill show
52:08it's the harry hill show
52:12harry hill show
52:17harry hill show
52:25I'll see you next time.
Comments