- 7 hours ago
Watch The Lesbian Homie S05-E01 - What Are the Odds
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00:13Previously on the Lesbian Hub...
00:14Alba, for real, you should come out and catch a couple games.
00:16Get over there and ball out.
00:18See you in it.
00:26Hey, baby.
00:33That's why you never spin the fucking block.
00:37Oh, fuck.
00:38It must be hard.
00:40Being a stud.
00:43Playing like you're not.
00:45What?
00:46Not here.
00:47Because I don't want you live to me.
00:50I want to know who you are.
00:52In other news, my sister's coming to town.
00:55And I am a stud.
00:57What you think about that, Bruce?
01:01I feel about what?
01:03Ain't that your whole word?
01:04You didn't mean to tell me you ain't gonna try to kick it with her?
01:07You're not still stuck on Zara, are you?
01:09Look, I try not to get involved.
01:11I told her to reach out to you and she told me she don't want to.
01:13So, I gotta respect that.
01:15Zara?
01:21What the fuck?
01:31Zara, stop.
01:43Zara, stop.
01:44What the fuck is going on?
01:45Where you been?
01:48Look, Bruce.
01:49It's not what you think, all right?
01:51What?
01:52It's not yours.
01:56How do you know?
01:57Because I know.
01:58I'm positive.
01:59All right?
02:04We gotta go.
02:25I hate lying.
02:30It is what it is.
02:46I should be politically correct and just not answer your calls.
02:54I should be critical, direct, and not be petty at all.
03:01But I'm only 60 inches high.
03:03Hard about three rivers wide.
03:05Small, I feel so small.
03:07All I get my off.
03:09Why the fuck should you feel good?
03:11Why the fuck should you sleep well?
03:12Namaste, let it all go.
03:14Fuck that shit, give them hell.
03:16Bigger, bigger, bigger person.
03:19I ain't the bigger person.
03:23Fuck being the bigger person.
03:26I ain't the bigger person.
03:31I should be wishing you the best.
03:33Forget and just move along.
03:37Fuck that.
03:38You should be feeling what I feel.
03:40Now, nigga, you with that wrong.
03:43Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead.
03:45No.
03:45Ho-ass nigga looking for the clouds.
03:48Sooner, wish I would have figured out.
03:49Embarrassing the way you're running around.
03:51Should let my brother punch you in your mouth.
03:53Why the fuck should you feel good?
03:55Why the fuck should you sleep well?
03:57Namaste, let it all go.
03:59Fuck that shit, give them hell.
04:01Bigger, bigger, bigger person.
04:03I ain't the bigger person.
04:08Fuck being the bigger person.
04:10I ain't the bigger person.
04:14Hold on.
04:34Bruce, what are you doing?
04:47BJ, what are you doing out here?
04:48And why are you ignoring my phone calls?
04:50What are you doing out here?
04:51How'd you find me?
04:52Charmaine called me and she said she saw you walking by the freeway.
04:55What are you doing walking around the city?
04:57Where's your truck?
04:57Alicia, get in your whip and go home.
05:00No, get in my car.
05:01I'm taking you home.
05:02I'm not going home.
05:04I'm not getting in your car.
05:04I'm good.
05:13Bruce, what happened?
05:17Look, whatever it is, I'm sure it'll get worked out.
05:22Can the nigga just get some air?
05:23Not by the damn freeway, BJ.
05:25I just happened to be over there.
05:26Le-Le-Le-Le, look, I'm about to go back and forth with your ass about this shit.
05:30Nigga, don't cuss at me.
05:32You got me driving around looking for your goofy ass.
05:35Did nobody ask you to come looking for me?
05:36Correction, fool.
05:37Charmaine did.
05:38And Charmaine didn't mind her own fucking business.
05:45You being an asshole.
05:48I just want to be left alone right now.
05:54Let me take you to your truck.
05:56And then I'll leave you alone.
05:59I'm a grown-ass man.
06:00I think I can walk to my vehicle by myself.
06:02Your sarcasm is not needed, nigga.
06:04And if you were a grown-ass man, you wouldn't be acting like a little boy whenever you go through
06:08shit.
06:18Anyways, you do something stupid tonight, I'm going to kick your ass.
06:25I'm not on that.
06:29Yeah, all right.
06:31Be safe, stupid.
06:32I'm not on that.
07:05I'm not on that.
07:34Where the hell you been at?
07:36Oh, shit.
07:38Oh, shit?
07:40Nigga, I have been sitting here for hours waiting on your ass to get back.
07:45Damn.
07:47My bad.
07:49I fell asleep on the couch waiting for you and all you got to say is my bad?
07:53Where were you at?
07:54The damn liquor store is only right up the street.
07:57Ma, I know.
07:58Time got away from me.
08:00The fuck you mean time got away from you?
08:03What you do, doze off in the chip aisle, nigga?
08:09Did you forget I was here?
08:11Did you forget I was here?
08:12And where the fuck is the wine?
08:14I asked your ass to bring me back some 19 crimes, hot Cheetos, and a honey bun.
08:20It's been three hours and you came back here with nothing?
08:24Okay, and then you just gonna sit there with that stupid ass look on your face.
08:28You ain't got shit to say?
08:30Look, Benita, I just had a lot on my mind.
08:35Like what, nigga?
08:36When you left here, I was on your damn mind.
08:40Maybe we should do this another night.
08:43Are you serious?
08:47Let me walk you to your car.
08:50How about you walk this to your car and drive straight to hell, nigga?
08:54I finally agreed to come to your house, trying to see where the night takes us,
08:58and you go Rayman on me with your weird ass.
09:04Alright, I messed up.
09:07But I ain't weird.
09:08Do you know what the fuck weird means?
09:10Yes, I know what the word means.
09:12What then?
09:13Define it.
09:15It means strange, odd, out of the ordinary, unexpected.
09:21Unexpected behavior, nigga.
09:23Abnormal.
09:25Do anything about this night seem normal to you?
09:27I didn't think so.
09:29So your weird ass needs to delete my damn number.
09:32Weird ass nigga.
09:34How the fuck you lose track of three hours?
09:37Do I look stupid?
09:38Do I look like Boo Boo the damn fool to you?
09:40I don't.
09:54Reese?
09:56You always say my name like you surprised.
10:00What are you doing here?
10:02Same thing you are.
10:05And what is that?
10:07Trying not to feel what you already feel.
10:12Damn.
10:14E?
10:14Y'all finally caught up to yourselves.
10:17Relax nigga.
10:19It's a dream.
10:20Ain't nobody lying in dreams.
10:22You always gotta narrate shit.
10:24Only when people are pretending not to see what's right in front of them.
10:30You remember the first time you looked at her different?
10:33Don't do that.
10:34I ain't doing nothing.
10:36I'm just saying.
10:37Feelings don't ask permission.
10:39And love, don't knock.
10:42It just moves in.
10:45Hey, this ain't fair.
10:46Neither is pretending you don't want what you want.
10:52If this was real, would you still look at me like that?
10:56I don't know how else to look at you.
10:59And that's the part nobody tells you about love.
11:07Sometimes it don't end messy.
11:11Sometimes it just ends honest.
11:14E.
11:16E.
11:18No, this ain't goodbye.
11:21This is just the truth catching up.
11:22You ever notice how quiet it gets when you stop fighting it?
11:35Feels like I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.
11:42You still here?
11:46I ain't going nowhere.
11:53Bruce.
11:55The fuck?
11:57Bruce.
11:59Bruce.
12:00She needs you.
12:03What?
12:04Bruce.
12:05Bruce, wait!
12:06Bruce!
12:07Bruce!
12:09Bruce!
12:11Bruce!
12:12Bruce!
12:13Bruce!
12:15Bruce!
12:16Bruce!
12:17Bruce!
12:20Hey, Bruce!
12:21Bruce!
12:22Get up nigga. Mmm. Goddamn stinking here, bro
12:38So what's up man you got moms and pops thinking you somewhere sick and dying should it smell like somebody
12:43here dying, right?
12:49Fuck you doing here
12:53Hold on
12:55What'd I do? I came here because you ain't answering our near phone call or text
12:59I would have took it personal, but the homie they ain't heard from you either. Well with you it is
13:03personal, but
13:05The fuck why no, you know why Bruce what's going on man. I don't get it. Why do you got
13:10the house looking in and smell it like this?
13:14When last time you wash your ass to this it smell like a week Carlos you can get the fuck
13:18out nigga
13:19Hey, I was joking do it look like I want to joke with you man
13:22No, it look like you want to sit here in the dark and your goddamn feelings again
13:26I mean get the fuck out. Hey, wait wait wait wait. What are we doing?
13:30Hold on a second Bruce. What's going on man?
13:34Bruce what nigga? What's up man? Make it make sense
13:37got you over Natasha
13:40Look man, I just came over to make sure you was aight
13:42Shit we both did. Yeah, man. What's up with ours energy, bro? I guess y'all thought it was funny
13:46to push the old me and Zara's situation, huh?
13:49Zara what are you talking about? Pushing me to rekindle with Zara knowing she gay as fuck
13:55Because Zara ain't gay. Guess the fuck she is nigga. I saw her with her whole girlfriend at Valley Liquor
14:01Man
14:03Hey females hang out with their home girls all the time to call each other girls. Yeah
14:06I know I saw Jerome. They was together nigga. The Zara was dressed like Cleo from set it off. Oh,
14:12that's different
14:12No, you know
14:15Nigga, I'm not playing Carlos. Y'all thought it was funny pushing me to another stud and shit
14:24You really serious
14:26Zara gay DC stop acting like you didn't fucking know bruh
14:28Yeah, I didn't how the fuck not Marquez is married to Zola so I know the nigga knew ain't no
14:32fucking way he didn't know
14:33Yeah, I'm telling you I didn't
14:36So just to be sure so Zara is gay. I mean, I guess so
14:42Bruce
14:44Well, what's what's going on man?
14:47Talk talk to your brother
14:49How is it that you keep choosing these women man? I didn't choose shit Jerome is because of these niggas
14:53like I said I don't know shit
14:56And I'm not even sure that Marquez know and fuck that that nigga new man. How you know?
15:01You talk to him you know my brother don't be on that type of time
15:05When the last time you see my brother play with any nigga like that?
15:09Did you even ask him?
15:11How you just gonna assume and hate a nigga without a conversation?
15:13Yeah, and the fact that this is the reason why you in seclusion like nigga if you don't pull your
15:18panties out your booty
15:19You're acting like a hoe
15:21Not for the text pops man. Hey, hey don't do that
15:24Instead of being mad at the world matter of fact mad at me and my brother
15:28Call that nigga man because I'm telling you I don't know shit
15:32Yeah, get some answers first before you start cutting off your people
15:35Over here thinking you sick something wrong with you and you just suffering from hard box rejection
15:40And call mommy back too
15:43First wash your ass
15:50Can't believe you would think I'll do some shit like that
15:53Look man, just shut up
15:55Judd
15:57Call Kez figure that shit out
16:03Uh, uh
16:28Oh
16:29You see so good in the morning
16:32Yeah
16:35Don't even need no breakfast
16:48Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait like wait wait wait wait пока
16:51Wait a second babe
16:52Babe
16:53You gotta be kidding me
16:55I know
16:57I just
16:58Just what
16:59You're not ready still
17:00I mean
17:01I
17:02It
17:05when are you gonna be ready I don't know I thought I would be by now
17:12me too baby I'm sorry don't be like that okay let me make it up to you I got another
17:20orgasm
17:21behind my pillow if you want it you would make it up to me if you let me pleasure you
17:27maybe I
17:28am pleased okay pleasing you pleases me I'm good so good all right listen you're not the only one
17:36that likes to taste Christina I get that do you yeah I'm gonna get ready for work
18:09don't make no sense girl don't trip at least the judge was in a good mood shit I couldn't tell
18:14every time I smiled at that hope she turned the other way well maybe that's because she
18:19could feel the lies through your smile you think so yeah you kind of worked on that fuck me girl
18:28relax okay you got this especially since that officer seemed to be on your side which is crazy
18:33since he's the one that arrested you I guess so excuse me ladies how you doing officer Taylor
18:41Nadia I will give you my last name but I got warrants oh is that right no I'm kidding I'm
18:47joking I abide by the law unlike her I was joking too Miss Johnson I hope my testimony to the
18:56judge
18:56really helps you in your favor yeah me too thank you of course just keep making the right decisions
19:02all right I'm sure everything will be fast and over with or minimal consequences
19:08y'all have a good one nice to meet you pleasure
19:16minimal consequences huh well that was interesting yeah it was yeah it was what not what why why what
19:28why would officer cute as hell feel the need to come over here introduce himself just to talk to
19:34you why that talk to me last I recall he came up to you and introduced himself to you so
19:42I don't know
19:44what you're talking about no cut it I think was all over you undressing you his eyes and everything
19:49bitch the lies you tell oh shit this your brother come on we gotta go hey baby tell me why
19:57they gave
19:58your sister life no parole but then she flashed a jury and then they let her off so it was
20:02okay
20:20oh big Bruce back from MIA where you been did you know Zara was gay man and if so why
20:28would you let
20:28me fuck with her to know all my previous issues and on top of that why wouldn't you tell me
20:31she was
20:32pregnant first off I'm gonna need you to shake my hand before I answer any questions you demand to
20:37me bruh my bad hey fuck you mean Zara gay so you ain't know hell nah if I knew you'd
20:48know
20:48and how's she gay if she gave you the panties that's what I'm trying to make sense of bro I
20:52don't know man it's not like you making shit up bro you still salty from when she dipped on you
20:56after you didn't scratch her little itch I thought you was over that man I was over it bruh until
21:00I
21:00saw her ass in valley liquor with a whole girlfriend and a baby bump Zara got a girlfriend and a
21:07baby bump
21:08nigga you sure I'm 100% sure she's walking around look like young ma come on man cut that shit
21:18out
21:18I'm dead serious case this is gonna fuck Zola up man she probably already knew
21:28fucking if she knew I'd know she pregnant us just don't be walking around carrying Amy's bruh
21:37wait baby yours nah she said it was mine well who baby is it I don't know I didn't ask
21:42her why not
21:43because I was in shock Marquez I know what the fuck to say our ass you know I'm saying she
21:48said
21:48the baby was 100% not mine so that's what it was hey so Zara came back in town with
21:55secrets that part
21:58and you thought I'll be keeping this for you you know how hard me and Zola be trying to have
22:03a baby
22:03man yeah and why the fuck would I keep Zara being pregnant for you you right bro my bad man
22:11fuck that
22:12you came over here trying to bang on me about some shit I ain't even know about and you dressed
22:16in
22:16all black who think you Nino Brown what you gonna g-money me nah man it's just a coincidence I
22:22just
22:22threw this on this man shut up nigga look yes all kind of goofy shit is happening in my life
22:29right
22:29now bro I don't know what to think man my mind is all fucked up you need to take your
22:33goofy ass back
22:34to that therapist nigga Tay told you about you still got some shit to unpack nigga now let me get
22:41back to
22:42this shit man fuck off my work site my bad bro take care of yourself fuck nigga love you too
22:54bro yeah
22:58yeah
23:00uh
23:20you
23:20I
23:26D-Money, what's up?
23:28Hey, girl. You ready to have your mind blown?
23:32I mean, sure, I guess.
23:34What, you starting to deal with Equal Light or something?
23:36No, much better than that. I got the call.
23:40What call?
23:41Effervescence. I got the call.
23:44What are you talking about?
23:46Pack your bags. I'll see you back in L.A. in two days.
23:50What?
23:54We're going to have to do a little match right now.
24:01A little test for you.
24:03Yeah.
24:22Hey.
24:24What's up?
24:25How you doing?
24:29I'm all right.
24:30That's good.
24:35Figured it wouldn't make sense to hit you.
24:39Right.
24:42That night was crazy.
24:46Yeah.
24:49Was you and your girl able to work it out?
24:57Damn.
24:58It's all bad.
25:01You know, we both wish we could take back that night.
25:04You're absolutely right.
25:08Pardon me if I ain't too eager to see you right now.
25:11You know.
25:11I know what happened was messed up.
25:13Yeah, we shouldn't have been kicking him.
25:15You know what I'm saying?
25:16We was friends, right?
25:18Or something like it.
25:19I don't know about all that.
25:21What?
25:22No.
25:23I thought we was friends, but it felt more like seduction to me.
25:27Oh, you putting this all on me?
25:29If you wasn't at my house when Natasha pulled up, we'd still be together.
25:33What you mean?
25:34Because the last I remember, y'all was having problems before I came around.
25:39I feel guilty for being part of the reason that your girl left you.
25:42But I don't remember forcing you to unbutton my jeans.
25:47Yeah.
25:48I ain't the only one who wanted it.
25:51And so you know, I went to jail that night.
25:55But the difference between me and you is that I'm not blaming you for my shit.
26:16I'm not blaming you for my shit.
26:30I'm not blaming you for my shit.
26:32I'm not blaming you for my shit.
26:35I'm blaming you for your shit.
26:39We've been here way before and now.
26:44No, the story doesn't change.
26:49Can't let go cause you let down.
26:54I just tied to the game.
27:00Thought I was more than you haunt me
27:03More than you haunt me
27:06Thought I was more than you haunt me
27:13More than you haunt me
27:16Now I don't understand you
27:23How you love to love to cry
27:27Right after all you said no
27:31I broke a thousand times
27:36To the max
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