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Short filmTranscript
00:03You
00:07Open your legs up for me
00:09Why?
00:10Like that?
00:12Like that?
00:18Oh yeah, right there
00:23Are you sure you're ready for me to take your virginity?
00:25This is the only thing I've ever wanted in my whole life
00:28I only want you
00:32Your mother's gonna kill me
00:34But I don't care
00:36Oh, you've gotta be kidding me
00:38I'm living with Brett Harrison
00:40The same Brett Harrison
00:42I accidentally emailed a ten-page smut about us
00:45Uh, Ellie, my eyes are up here
00:48What?
00:49Alice, hi
00:49Yo, Ally, quit drooling
00:51Come on, that's gross
00:52I wasn't, I wouldn't call it drooling
00:54I would say it's zoning out
00:55Uh-huh
00:56And, dude, you gotta start wearing a shirt
00:58And put some actual pants on
00:59You can't go commanding in front of my little sister
01:01Yeah, I just gotta share
01:02I don't care, man, alright?
01:04You're on watch duty now
01:05You gotta keep the horny jacks away from her
01:07Okay?
01:07And remember, most important part, row code
01:10Wow, what's in the email?
01:11Anything, uh, scandalous or inappropriate?
01:14Anything I should, uh, know about?
01:16Nothing
01:16Nothing
01:17Because you know, like I am
01:18Gonna be looking after you now
01:19I made a promise to Ron
01:20So, uh, if there's anything I need to know about
01:23You should, uh, tell me
01:25No, nothing, nothing scandalous
01:27I'm gonna go, actually, I have to go
01:29Oh, good to see you
01:34Okay, deep breath
01:36This is my year
01:38New city
01:39New school
01:39I'm gonna make this squad
01:41And I'm not going to think about Brett's stupid, perfect abs
01:48Oh, my God
01:49You, uh, lost baby girl?
01:51Cause, uh, you just come here for a show
01:53We lost, and we still gotta stop
01:59Hope you brought your meatpads, virgin
02:02No
02:03No
02:04No
02:04Don't be shy, baby
02:05Turn around
02:07Whoa
02:13Look, I'm here in official business, okay?
02:15I just, I need to see the captain
02:16Actually, uh, I have a captain right here
02:18You looking for me?
02:21What do you think you're doing in the boys locker room?
02:23Brett?
02:24He's the football captain?
02:26Of course he is
02:28Who else could it be?
02:30Look, I need to ask you something
02:32You know, you have a habit of
02:34Walking in on me when I'm half making them
02:36Brett, this is serious, okay?
02:37The girls on the cheerleading team said that I need to ask your permission to be put on the squad
02:41Elson, I think these girls are messing with you
02:43I am the captain of the team, but that doesn't mean I decide the roster the coach is in
02:47Oh, my God
02:48Turn
02:49Uh, I, I have to go
02:53I finally did it
02:54The thing I fantasized about since I was 12 years old
02:57I kissed my brother's best friend
03:00And holy hell, it felt good
03:04The captain just got sacked by the team version
03:09Touchdown
03:11I slipped
03:18You guys are benched
03:20It's just a joke
03:21Seriously
03:24Okay, come on
03:25What?
03:26Just give it back
03:27Whatever you-
03:28Hold on
03:29You're texting Chad?
03:31I've been blocked for a month, but you're texting Chad at midnight
03:34You know, Chad's a walking SGD
03:36He sleeps with everything that moves
03:37Are you, are you into that?
03:38We're doing a school project together
03:40Ah, a school project
03:41Yes
03:42You know, Chad is definitely known for his academic passions
03:45Well, it's the truth, so can you just give me my phone back, please?
03:48Hold on
03:49Let me do something really quick
03:50What are you doing?
03:51And there you go
03:52Chad is deleted
03:53What?
03:54What?
03:55Stop!
03:55They're already done
03:56Oh my god, even my stories didn't go that far
03:59I mean, if we actually have sex in real life, would I even survive that?
04:03You have double XL condoms?
04:05There you go
04:06I'll tell you this
04:07It's for girlfriends
04:08Do you actually use those?
04:10Yeah
04:11They use your face
04:13There's no way
04:14That's like a sleeping bag
04:16What did you like to know?
04:22Yeah, well
04:23You're the one leaving your stash out in the open, so
04:25Yeah, you're the one who tackled me in the boys' locker room
04:32I'm your roommate
04:33And I'm also your brother's best friend
04:37So he does just see me as a liability
04:41Yeah
04:42We're roommates
04:43And that means we're equals
04:45And that means you
04:47Don't get to tell me what to do
04:49So you're forgetting the part where I said
04:50That I am your brother's best friend
04:52And Ron's already given me permission to boss you around
04:55And do whatever I want you to do
04:57To make sure that you're safe
04:59Why don't you consider me
05:01Your brother Pro Max?
05:11Oh my god
05:12Did you actually show up in lingerie?
05:19Look everyone
05:20The strippers arrived
05:22Let's all give Littleness Hooker a round of applause for being tonight's entertainment
05:29Thanks
05:29Thanks
05:29At least I don't look so ordinary
05:33You spend so much of your-
05:34Lick it up
05:43Brett
05:46What's up?
05:47Where are you?
05:49I'm at club vibe
05:49I um
05:51I lost a dare
05:52Yeah?
05:54What kind of dare?
05:57I need a man to claim me
05:59In front of everyone
06:00Alison
06:01Are you asking me to
06:02Go to a club
06:03After I told you
06:04That I didn't think it was a good idea
06:05For you to go out night?
06:06Come on
06:07Brett
06:07Please this is serious
06:09Can you just come get me?
06:12How dare you even think Brett?
06:14He'd rather die than be seen with a slut like you
06:17You literally stalked him into the men's showers
06:21I'm surprised he hasn't signed a restraining order yet
06:29Where do you think you're going?
06:30Grab her
06:32Nope
06:32Get off of me
06:33You lost the dare
06:34You pay the price
06:38You need to loosen up
06:40You couldn't get Brett's touching that's fine
06:41We'll help you lower your standards
06:44Don't you ever put your hands on my girl again?
06:54Brett
06:55This is a total overreaction
06:57Jason and Allie were just having fun together
07:00I mean look at how she's dressed
07:02She's practically begging for it
07:14You know I better not see any videos of this online
07:16Or else you are fucking dumb
07:19I'm losing my mind
07:20I know the rules
07:22But look at her
07:24All I can think
07:26Just this once
07:28What?
07:32Say it! Just say it!
07:33I'm really trying not to get you hurt in all this
07:36Cause I'm just Ron's little sister?
07:38No
07:38It's the only reason you look at me, huh?
07:40That is not true
07:41Then tell me that you don't feel anything when you look at me
07:44Tell me there's nothing happening right now
07:47I can't
07:49You can't actually do anything about it either
07:51Please don't stop
08:11What are you doing, Brett?
08:14Ruining everything
08:15What are you doing, Brett?
08:16What are you doing, Brett?
08:27I'm gonna do anything
08:27You know what's up, loser?
08:29I swear to God, guys
08:30What are you doing right now?
08:32Talk to me
08:32Face time to run
08:37What is he doing?
08:38Is he seriously going to kiss me in front of Ron?
08:45yeah your eyes are super red hey ron what's up man
08:49allie called me dumbass and i had to sign up to see your face two inches away from hers
08:54so you guys better have a good ass explanation right now or i'm gonna come over there and beat
08:57your ass it's it was an accident okay we just
09:05all right ladies physical assessments today allison you're first
09:37no i'm not jealous what was that i promised ron that i would take care of you
09:41keeping the vultures away just doing my job
09:46first exercise partner sit-ups
09:51all right come on you first
09:59let's go we don't have all day you ready rookie i'm trying to detox brett
10:05but how am i supposed to do that if he's everywhere let's go we don't have all day
10:10you want to play
10:16what the hell am i doing you okay brett
10:20and done allison you killed it today you're going to be our lead flyer in the next game
10:29really wow thank you
10:34congratulations uh quit flirting you two
10:41you know what i need
10:50why aren't you still here why wouldn't i be here this is my morning routine
10:53i know it's 8 30
10:56isn't the whole cheer squad supposed to be meeting today at 7 o'clock for like a hair and makeup
10:59thing
10:59what nobody told me that had oh my god she's gonna kill me
11:05this is how i'm gonna get kicked off the team she's gonna she's gonna kill me because i'm late for
11:09our first
11:09performance hey hey hey it's okay well i'll drive okay thank you
11:31hey sorry i'm late i didn't know the call time was 7 a.m
11:35don't make excuses scott late is late you're just too lazy
11:49hey what's your problem my problem is you dragging the whole team down
11:53it's the first game and you can't even be on time
11:56like i said nobody
12:01all right hey listen use my jersey make it look better than the original
12:06all right
12:31oh shit is that even allison
12:34ladies and gentlemen please welcome our state university cheerleading squad
12:53uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh oh yeah
12:57uh-huh uh-huh oh yeah
13:19he's on the 30-yard line the 20 the 10
13:26touchdown bet harrison does it again state wins
13:45yes
13:46yes
13:47Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
13:55Now we've got ourselves a good old kiss cam standoff. I haven't seen one of these in years.
14:03Come on, Allison. Let's give the people what they want.
14:06I know I shouldn't kiss my brother's best friend.
14:12Oh, but I want it.
14:25I can't believe this is happening.
14:27Kiss Kim, me and Brett.
14:38Allison, don't pass out.
14:44Thanks for keeping chat at bay.
14:46No problem.
14:55This is insane.
14:56I shouldn't kiss my best friend's sister.
15:00But it feels...
15:01Harrison!
15:04Oh, shit.
15:04What the hell do you think you're doing kissing my sister in front of the entire school?
15:08Ron, just calm down, okay?
15:09You're making a scene.
15:10I'm making a scene?
15:11Yeah.
15:12I'm making a scene.
15:12You two were swallowing each other's faces on the Jumbotron.
15:15Stop!
15:15Beating like this, okay?
15:18Are you serious right now?
15:19If I hadn't stepped in, you two would have needed to get a room.
15:24You're unbelievable.
15:26I hate you.
15:30Dude, I'm...
15:31No, no, no, no.
15:31You cut the crap.
15:32You tell me right now what's happening between you two.
15:36I...
15:36Okay.
15:37Hey, we need to talk.
15:39No.
15:40I sound like a mom.
15:43This is ridiculous.
15:44Why am I texting him?
15:45He's literally in the next room.
15:47You know what?
15:49Just go in there.
15:50Just ask him.
15:52Hey, Brett.
15:52What the hell was that kiss?
15:54He kissed me back.
15:55He can't deny it this time.
15:57It's recorded and live streamed.
15:58Okay.
16:01Do or die.
16:12At least Chad is honest about what he wants.
16:15You don't think I'm being honest?
16:21Oh, this is getting hot in here.
16:23You know.
16:25Biology.
16:27Whether it's biology or not,
16:31I'm the one who's causing it.
16:36Allie!
16:37Brett!
16:38He goes out here?
16:39Fucking shit.
16:39What the fuck is he doing here?
16:41Allie, hey.
16:42Just get under.
16:42Get under what?
16:43Brett, you have to get down.
16:49Allie.
16:49Hi.
16:50Showing alone?
16:52Yeah, but I'm naked.
16:53What?
16:54I'm naked.
16:55Get out.
16:58You're not, though.
17:00Okay.
17:01Well, I also have a vibe,
17:03and you're ruining it, so.
17:04I'm sorry.
17:05I just wanted to get my charger.
17:07I left it on here yesterday.
17:08You got it.
17:09I also wanted to say that
17:12I think you did a great job today.
17:15I mean, what was that?
17:19Sorry.
17:20I got water in my nose.
17:21Okay.
17:22I'm okay.
17:22Don't drown.
17:23Okay.
17:23Okay?
17:24Have a good soak, I guess.
17:25Okay.
17:26Bye.
17:34God, the alien one's gonna die.
17:37Good talk.
17:39Wait.
17:42I have to ask you something.
17:44I'm going to ask him out on a date.
17:47Don't be the little sister, Allison.
17:48Be the girl he kissed.
17:50There's this...
17:52like...
18:00Look.
18:01Charity case is running a charity sale.
18:03She's finally getting back.
18:04Did you know Allison hand-makes these little trinkets?
18:07It's giving kindergarten arts and crafts.
18:09I didn't know you two were coming together.
18:12I came by myself.
18:14Brett was kind enough to help me
18:15with my family's donation.
18:17Daddy donated a little of his collection.
18:19Nothing major.
18:20Just some Birkin bags,
18:21some vintage Rolex watches.
18:23Are you insane?
18:24You actually want this garbage.
18:26You know, I value the artist.
18:27That's just how expensive something looks.
18:28So, $500?
18:30What's that supposed to mean?
18:31She's nothing.
18:32No, you're nothing.
18:33Especially compared to her.
18:35How dare you compare me to this peasant?
18:39Why don't you get out of here?
18:41No, I'm serious.
18:42Don't come back to this table again.
18:46You know, I do think this stuff is pretty...
18:48What are you doing?
18:49What do you mean?
18:50You can't keep doing this, Timmy.
18:52You blew me off yesterday.
18:54And then today you come
18:54and you buy all of my jewelry?
19:02There she is, my guest of honor.
19:06Damn, Allison, you look sexy.
19:08Oh.
19:09Thanks.
19:14It's a cool party.
19:15Yeah, you know I threw this whole thing
19:16just for you.
19:18Just for you.
19:18Really, for me?
19:20Why did you do that?
19:22You're single.
19:23I'm single.
19:24You need another reason?
19:27So, what's the deal with you and Brett, huh?
19:30No deal.
19:31There's nothing happening between us.
19:34Yeah.
19:35No, why not?
19:36There's nothing between me and Brett, obviously.
19:39Maybe I should just move on.
19:40You haven't played the Pocky Challenge?
19:42No.
19:43What's that?
19:43We each bite from one end
19:45until one of us chickens out.
20:02Damn it.
20:04Why am I thinking about him
20:05at a time like this?
20:06Come on, Allison.
20:07You're already here.
20:12Dude, what the fuck?
20:14Game's over.
20:14Let's go.
20:16Excuse me.
20:16What are you doing, huh?
20:17Get off of me.
20:18What do you think you're doing?
20:19You're ruining my night.
20:20Do you think I care that I'm ruining your night?
20:22What do you think Rob would think
20:22if he knew you were happy?
20:23Don't care.
20:24How about you elect your someone
20:25who gives a fuck?
20:26Come on.
20:26Okay?
20:26No more of these stupid games.
20:27You don't have to play this shit.
20:28Let's go.
20:29Let's go.
20:29I don't have to play these stupid games.
20:31I'm playing them because I want to.
20:35Get the fuck away from me.
20:40Ah!
20:46Ow!
20:46Ow!
20:48Hey, look at her.
20:49Look at her.
20:50You okay?
20:50Hey.
20:51Hold on.
20:52Hold on.
20:52Hold on.
20:53It's okay.
20:54I got you.
20:54I got you.
20:55I got you.
20:57I got you.
20:58I got you.
20:58Oh my God.
20:59Is she okay?
21:03Hey.
21:03Hey.
21:04Look at me.
21:05Look at me.
21:05Look at me.
21:06Hey.
21:07Hey.
21:07You okay?
21:08I can't.
21:09I can't.
21:09I can't.
21:11Just put me down, Fred.
21:13Here you go.
21:13Put you down.
21:15You know, you could have died, Alice.
21:17And Chad, I mean, my God, you have no business being around that guy, let alone being this
21:21close to kissing him, huh?
21:23Anybody who's had a brain cell would realize he's a total fucking douche bagger, right?
21:26That's not fair.
21:27What's not fair?
21:29What's not fair?
21:30What am I not understanding?
21:31Huh?
21:32What don't I understand?
21:33I don't know how this works.
21:35Okay?
21:35I'm sorry.
21:36I'm figuring it out.
21:37I don't know how guys work all the time.
21:39You know, that's fantastic.
21:41I'm so happy that you're able to admit that, okay?
21:51I've wanted to do that for so long.
22:01Listen, you have no idea.
22:03Every single time I saw you with him, I always just wanted to tell you that you've always
22:08been more to me than just my best friend and sister.
22:13Why didn't you say anything?
22:15I made a promise to Rob.
22:18So what are we now?
22:25What do you want us to be?
22:28What do you want me to be?
22:31I want you to be mine.
22:35I think I already am.
22:41But what about Ron?
22:42He's going to kill you.
22:45I know Ron loves you very much.
22:47He's very protectable to brother, but I think he'll come around when he sees.
23:00Thinking about you.
23:09Hi, Captain.
23:11When are you coming to pick me up?
23:12I am currently stuck in the worst traffic ever right now.
23:16I'm two seconds away from ditching my car and just sprinting to you.
23:19Oh, well, as much as I'd love to see you.
23:28Oh, my God, someone's coming.
23:29I have to go fake my own death.
23:31Bye.
23:32I'm glad that somebody's coming.
23:52Hey, are you okay?
23:54You sounded sick.
23:56Hey.
23:57Hey.
23:57You found my bag.
23:58I was looking for that.
24:00No problem.
24:04Attention, all members of the cheerleading squad.
24:07It has been brought to our attention that apparently someone on this squad is using illegal drugs.
24:12I strongly suggest whoever's responsible to come forward now, otherwise, will be forced to contact the campus police for a
24:20thorough search.
24:21Well, I think we all know someone who would do anything to stop being the fat friend.
24:27Right?
24:28Well, well, well.
24:29Look who needs drugs to keep up with the real athletes.
24:32I knew it.
24:33No one gets that good that quick without cheating.
24:37Allison, performance-enhancing substances are grounds for immediate dismissal of the squad.
24:42Coach, I promise you I've never seen those before, okay?
24:45Those aren't mine.
24:46Right.
24:47A cheater and a liar.
24:50Coach, please listen to me.
24:51I've never seen those.
24:53I don't know what they are.
24:54I'm lying.
24:55It's the only way a cow like her could ever compete with us.
24:58They're mine.
24:59Yeah, those are actually, uh, my, uh, vitamins.
25:02Did you forget?
25:03I asked you to hold on to my vitamins this morning.
25:06Yeah, sorry.
25:06I should have, uh...
25:07You little bitch.
25:08You think you can just walk in here and steal everything from me?
25:11That's enough, Rita.
25:12My decision is final.
25:18Listen up.
25:19When it's Allison's turn for the basket toss, you're gonna have a little timing issue.
25:23You want us to drop her?
25:24She could get seriously hurt.
25:25That's the point.
25:27Accidents happen all the time in cheerleading.
25:29So tragic.
25:30I can't do that.
25:32Coach will kill me.
25:33Fine.
25:33Then say goodbye to those little supplements that keep you fitting in your uniforms.
25:37I know everything, girls.
25:39Every dirty little secret.
25:41Do exactly as I say, or you're gone.
25:43Your call.
25:50Very sweet.
25:53What happened back there?
25:55How did you know that Rita put those vitamins in my purse?
25:57I, uh, saw Rita putting something in your bag.
26:00So I swapped it out.
26:03I knew it.
26:04I knew she was up to something.
26:06You know I heard her in the bathroom like ten minutes before.
26:09Yeah.
26:09She was throwing up is when we were, when we were having, oh.
26:20All right.
26:21On the count, you both perform an elevated prep.
26:24Rita, you're up first.
26:25Then Allison.
26:38Okay, Allison.
26:40Hey, great job, you guys.
26:42You killed it.
26:50And that's game.
26:52State loses 21 to 35.
26:56Allie.
26:57Look, I know.
26:58It's not what you wanted.
26:59It's okay.
27:00Because you did good.
27:01That's all that matters.
27:02Thanks, bro.
27:03I'm going to go take a piss.
27:04I'll be right back.
27:04Ew.
27:05Don't ever touch me again, weirdo.
27:07Yo.
27:08Allison.
27:09She is.
27:10You look good, baby.
27:12Y'all do private shows.
27:13You know, something with a little extra bump and grind.
27:16You're so gross.
27:19Yo, what the hell?
27:20Are you serious?
27:21What?
27:22What's going on?
27:22I'm just waiting for the MVP.
27:24No, don't play with me, bitch.
27:26I'm more of a win.
27:27I do.
27:28You're defending your slut's honor, huh?
27:30She's a public boss.
27:32Everybody gets a ride.
27:35Hey!
27:36Hey, fuckface.
27:38You keep my sister's name out of your fucking mouth!
27:42Hey!
27:44Hey!
27:45All right, that's enough.
27:47What's going on here?
27:48I mean, coach, we all saw it.
27:49Chad was going to hit her.
27:51You're going to hit her?
27:52Get my office now!
27:54You!
27:55With me!
27:56This is a really nasty cut.
27:58What do you want to do?
27:59Let's hide.
28:01All right, all right.
28:06Brett!
28:07Brett, you in there?
28:08Yeah, I'm just washing up, man.
28:10God, you have no idea how crazy you drive me.
28:15You know, every single time I see you, all I can think about is, uh, doing this.
28:24You need a hand, man?
28:25No, I got everything I need, uh, right here.
28:29I feel what you're doing.
28:31It's kind of hard to miss.
28:33Yeah.
28:35Hard to miss.
28:37Brett, you gotta speed this up, man.
28:39We got your food.
28:39It's gonna get cold.
28:40You know my hands are soft, bro.
28:41I can help you.
28:42Hey, why don't you guys just beat it, all right?
28:44I'm gonna be a little while.
28:46All right, let's just give him some space.
28:47Enjoy your blue balls.
28:48Yeah, don't pull muscles.
28:50You know, I took a pretty big hit for you today.
28:53I think I've earned some, uh,
28:56health and physical therapy time, if you know what I mean.
28:59You know, you could have just asked.
29:02You didn't have to pick a fight to get lucky.
29:06Brett goes pro after this, guaranteed.
29:09I've heard the half-time show is gonna break the internet.
29:11Captain Scott's changed the whole game.
29:13Sick.
29:14Ladies and gentlemen,
29:15let's make some noise for your state university cheerleading squad.
29:18Led by Captain Allison Scott.
29:23I will end you.
29:25Leave it.
29:27Save your applause, everyone.
29:29You're cheering for a fraud.
29:31Your precious new cheerleading captain didn't earn her spot.
29:33She bought it.
29:34This is insane, okay?
29:36I've never taken a drug in my life.
29:39Oh, sweetie.
29:40It's all coming out now.
29:41I saw her taking pills for practice.
29:43We trusted you.
29:45Cheater!
29:48Hey, anybody who messes with her, messes with me.
29:51Open your eyes, Brett.
29:53She's using you for the clout, for the status.
29:56Who was she before you slept with her?
29:58Nobody.
29:59A total bottom feeder.
30:01Rita, you know what?
30:01You're so full of shit, it's unbelievable.
30:03How'd you get that video, huh?
30:04And what'd you do to it?
30:05You have nothing to fear if you have nothing to hide.
30:07I know some real doctors that can help you guys get healthy at the right way.
30:11No more pills, no more purging, no more blackmail.
30:13You'd really help us?
30:15Absolutely.
30:16Listen, you guys are never going to have to take any of Rita's secret spells ever again.
30:19So, what's the catch?
30:21We're going to make Rita take some of her own medicine.
30:23This video, this is the real conversation, not the edited one that Rita just played.
30:30Now for the drugs.
30:32These are the drugs that I gave the girls.
30:33They're vitamins.
30:34You can get these at any pharmacy in the world.
30:37You want to check these out, Principal?
30:46Look at you, playing the victim.
30:49You've been throwing yourself at me for weeks.
30:51Just when I give you a chance, you're one crying to Harrison.
30:56Nothing but a little...
30:57Shut up, dude.
30:58Shut up.
30:59What are you going to do about it, Harrison?
31:01I don't have to do anything.
31:02You're going to get exactly what you deserve right now.
31:04Mr. Williams.
31:08Apparently, we've had a number of allegations of sexual harassment against you from various female students.
31:15As of now, you are...
31:16You can consider yourself officially reinstated as captain.
31:21Thank you, Principal.
31:23All right, everyone.
31:24Sorry for the unexpected drama.
31:26I hope you enjoyed the show.
31:27But we have a game to get back to.
31:30So let's cheer on our wolves.
31:31Woo!
31:34Let's win!
31:46Cut down!
31:48The State University wins it all!
31:50Woo!
31:50Woo!
31:51Woo!
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