00:01¡Sigue soñando!
00:08NBC News, esto es Hoy con Brian Granberg y Kathy Curric.
00:13Buenos días a todos. Bienvenidos a un luminoso día.
00:15Vamos a ayudarles a empezarlo con el mejor pie.
00:18Buenos días, Kate.
00:18Buenos días, Brian. ¿Cómo estás?
00:20Yo, de maravilla. ¿Y tú?
00:22Yo bien. ¿Cómo has pasado la noche?
00:25Yo, de maravilla. ¿Y tú?
00:27Yo bien. ¿Qué tal has subido en el ascensor?
00:30Yo, de maravilla. ¿Y tú?
00:52¿Qué? ¿Qué?
00:54¿Fel a sleep?
00:57¿Qué? ¿Qué es eso?
00:59Uh...
01:00I think it's Jackal.
01:02Oh, yeah.
01:04That dude looks like Heidi Fleiss.
01:07Oh, yeah.
01:09She's skanky.
01:12She's ugly.
01:15She's what you call fugly.
01:19She's a fugly, skanky whore.
01:23That wasn't very nice, Beavis.
01:31This dude's chest is about as puny and hairless as yours, Beavis.
01:35Shut up, fart cracker.
01:36I could kick this dude's ass.
01:37You mean fart knocker, Beavis.
01:39Oh, yeah, yeah.
01:40And for the last time, you can't kick anybody's ass.
01:43Yeah, I can. I'm getting bigger.
01:45I'm like, I've been drinking milk.
01:47Yeah, right.
01:48Oh, really, but it?
01:49I had some last week.
01:51Yeah, but then you spit it out.
01:52Yeah, but it was in my mouth long enough for me to, like, you know, get some vitamins and stuff
01:55out of it.
01:58Dumbass.
02:01Whoa.
02:03He's just, like, walking around in his underwear.
02:06Yeah, and he's, like, having popcorn for breakfast.
02:09Yeah, pretty cool.
02:10Hey.
02:12Hey.
02:12You think he has morning wood?
02:19Yeah.
02:21He's got a breakfast burrito.
02:25He's a shimmy-jonga.
02:26He's a shimmy-jonga.
02:30I'm not home right now.
02:33I'm not home, home.
02:35Hey, man, guess what?
02:36I'm in the Bahamas.
02:39Get over here.
02:40Hey, just a minute.
02:41The girls want to say hi to you.
02:43Whoa, check it out, butthead.
02:45How did that dude get all those chicks?
02:47Cuz, dumbass.
02:49His name is Schlong.
02:52Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:54Cheech and Schlong.
02:55I forgot about that.
02:57You know what?
02:59Cheech should change his name to Buttcheeks.
03:02And then it's, like, Buttcheeks and Schlong.
03:06I don't think you'd get chicks with a name like Buttcheeks, Beavis.
03:11Oh, man.
03:11Oh, yeah.
03:13That was my nickname when I was a kid.
03:15Buttcheeks.
03:17Oh, yeah.
03:26And now, tell me about your date.
03:29Well, when I came up, I thought, he's strong, strong and sensible.
03:34Bahed, your first impression.
03:36Well, I thought, he's good for you.
03:41And then, what happened?
03:43I took the 7-Eleven.
03:44Yes.
03:46I invited a few nachos to see if she was eating.
03:48Yeah.
03:49¿De verdad?
03:50¿Y funcionó?
03:51Sí.
03:52Pillé hechicha.
03:55Fue demasiado.
03:58Muchas gracias.
04:07Pequeños saltavotes, si has plantado tus raíces en el Tao, la fuerza de la Tierra te acompañará.
04:12Ya, pelocono, vamos a levantir leña.
04:15Paciencia, saltavotes, tan rápido olvidás mis sesiones.
04:19Pelo maestro, no necesitarle el agua al fuego.
04:22No necesitarle la montaña al rayo.
04:24No necesitarle una buena patada.
04:33Bajed, más de 500 mujeres se han acostado contigo.
04:36¿Cómo explicas tu magnetismo?
04:39Bueno, mírame.
04:41¡Se duerme con chicas!
04:43Oh, mona.
04:48Baje, baje, baje.
04:50¡Despierta!
04:51Creo que hemos faltado a clase o algo.
04:55Mola.
04:56Tampoco íbamos a aprender nada.
04:58Ah, sí, sí.
05:00Sí, sí, sí.
05:12Disparad los retrocohetes, lanzad los torpedos de fluición y, o sea, vamos hacia allá.
05:18A la orden, capitán.
05:20Oiga, usted, le ordeno que se desnude y me enseñe las peras.
05:25Mira, capitán, eso viola la ley intergaláctica o algo así.
05:29Número uno, vayas a tomar por el número dos.
05:33A la orden, capitán.
05:37Cómo mola.
05:40Grandes hazañas de los guardianes de la autopista.
05:45Aquí llamando a Rambo.
05:47El sospechoso se salta un stop.
05:49Así que lo paré y le di una paliza.
05:54Entonces pasa un tío con un perro.
05:56Y también le partí la cara.
05:58Sí, ¿tú a dónde crees que vas?
06:03Basura.
06:06Es la historia de un tal Badgett y unas tías que trabajaban de verdad.
06:14Pero entonces llegó un tal Bibis que volaba a cantidad.
06:20Eh, Bibis.
06:22Vivimos en una casa con tres tías.
06:25Sí, sí, sí.
06:27Mola.
06:28Sí, sí, sí.
06:39Ha sido un día total.
06:41Cómo mola.
06:43Yo estoy hecho algo.
06:45Seguro que eso era irse a dormir o algo.
06:48Sí, sí.
06:48Esc 죄藏.
07:01Uh...
07:02Is this some monkeys?
07:04Um...
07:04They look like butt monkeys.
07:09Is this that episode where they go to the dude ranch?
07:13Uh...
07:14You're thinking of Happy Days, dumbass.
07:16Oh, yeah.
07:17Hey, sit on it.
07:20Sit on my butt.
07:23That reminds me of this joke.
07:25Yeah.
07:26There's this dude, and he, like, meets this slut in a bar.
07:29And they're, like, uh, going back to her place.
07:33But then, like, he, uh, can't find his keys.
07:37But then he needs, like, a flashlight.
07:40And then he says, uh, help me find my keys and we can drive out of here.
07:47I don't get it.
07:49She was a slut.
07:55Slut.
08:01Hey, buddy, is this, like, from that City Slickers movie?
08:05Oh, yeah.
08:08Remember that one part where that guy, like, sticks his hand up that cow's butt?
08:12Oh, yeah, yeah.
08:14And then he, like, pulls out a dog and it's all wet.
08:19They just thought it wasn't a dog.
08:22That was, like, uh, a big rabbit.
08:25I don't know.
08:30It's time.
08:31It's time for Brian Graham and Kathy Curry.
08:34Buenos días a todos.
08:35Bienvenidos a un luminoso día.
08:37Vamos a ayudarles a empezarnos con el mejor pie.
08:39Buenos días.
08:39Esta noche he soñado que estaba en clase.
08:42¿Tú crees que contara como asistencia?
08:44Yo creo que sí.
08:46Yo también estaba.
08:47Sí.
08:48Mola.
08:50Entonces vamos a tomarnos el día libre.
08:52Dale, sí.
08:53¿Qué quieres hacer?
08:56Uh...
08:58Mmm...
09:00Mmm...
09:01Mmm...
09:01Mmm...
09:01Mmm...
09:01Mmm...
09:03Mmm...
09:16Mmm...
09:17That Snoop Doggy Dog!
09:19No, dumbass.
09:20That's a chick.
09:22She's got his hair cut, though.
09:25Yeah.
09:26She's a weirdo.
09:28Yeah.
09:30She's like one of those drama club teachers.
09:33Oh, yeah, yeah.
09:35They're always trying to get you to, like,
09:37crass around like some kind of wussy.
09:39Yeah, it's like they say,
09:40Be a tree.
09:44Now be a sad tree.
09:46Now be a happy tree.
09:48Yeah.
09:48Yeah.
09:53Man.
09:55This chick is out of her gourd.
09:59She, like, completely whacked out.
10:02Yeah, but it's like, I can't really blame her
10:04because, like, some of these weird chicks
10:06make tons of money.
10:08Really?
10:10Yeah.
10:11It's not like they're going around saying,
10:13We need a normal chick to dance on this truck.
10:16Yeah, yeah.
10:17Hey, buddy.
10:18You think I could make some, like, money
10:20if I acted like a weird chick?
10:21I think you have to, like, be from England or something.
10:25Oh, damn it.
10:27Whoa, she's grabbing her crotch.
10:29Oh, yeah, yeah.
10:30Um, hey.
10:31Hey, buddy, I thought chicks didn't have a crotch.
10:33No, dumb asshole.
10:34You're thinking of Ned.
10:36Oh, man.
10:38Well...
10:38I'm thinking of the crotch, actually.
10:40But, you know...
10:41Some girls have a crotch?
10:43Mm-hmm.
10:44Mm-hmm.
10:45I'll be damned.
10:45Mm-hmm.
10:46Mm-hmm.
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