Skip to playerSkip to main content
ArtHouseArchive
  • 7 hours ago
Head Witch in Charge EP
Transcript
00:00:02.
00:00:25Jesus, Mom, can you at least warn me when you're gonna do that?
00:00:29Please?
00:00:30Oh, please. Don't be such a child.
00:00:34Do you still have the Wand of Light?
00:00:45See? The all-powerful magic heirloom.
00:00:48Still safe and sound.
00:00:50No, you should be more careful.
00:00:51The Wand of Light has the power to grant its user their deepest desires.
00:00:56Yeah.
00:00:56And if it falls into the wrong hands, it would become the most dangerous weapon in the world.
00:01:03But a marriage to another noble witch family would only strengthen your power.
00:01:08Yeah.
00:01:09Unless it's an evil Svensson, right?
00:01:12The Svensons are our worst enemies, Leona.
00:01:15Do you know how much our family has suffered over the centuries because of them?
00:01:20I know.
00:01:22Sorry.
00:01:23You are the guardian of the Wand of Light, Leona.
00:01:27And you can't reach your full potential until you marry and succeed me as head of the family.
00:01:33Come home with a husband next week or I will pick one for you.
00:01:37What?
00:01:38Mom, no.
00:01:39Please don't.
00:01:40Leona Sherwood, you are getting married whether you like the boy I pick or not.
00:01:45Mom, please.
00:01:45Understand?
00:01:49Don't worry, Mom.
00:01:51I'm the responsible daughter.
00:01:53Remember.
00:02:01Okay, Leona Sherwood, this is your last weekend of freedom.
00:02:09For two more nights.
00:02:11Fuck my responsibility.
00:02:14I'm gonna have some fun.
00:02:29That would be $25.
00:02:32I think you mean it's on the house, right?
00:02:36Right.
00:02:37It's on the house.
00:02:57There you are, little Miss Sherwood.
00:03:06Where the hell are you?
00:03:07I'm in Vegas like I said it would be old man.
00:03:09Hey, don't you get smart with me, you little shit.
00:03:12Remember your mission.
00:03:14Seduce the Sherwood heir and marry her and then that whole obnoxious family will be there to pay off our
00:03:20debts.
00:03:21You mean your debts?
00:03:22Quiet!
00:03:22It's bad enough that I have a sorry excuse for an heir.
00:03:26You are an embarrassment to the Spence in name.
00:03:29Now if you don't marry the Sherwood girl like I told you,
00:03:33I am going to sell your little sister off to Old Fitzgerald to be his fourth wife.
00:03:39Dad's secret is just a kid.
00:03:41When I want your opinion, I will ask for it until then you shut up and do as I say.
00:03:47Do you understand?
00:03:49Yeah.
00:03:50I understand.
00:03:51Good!
00:03:52And you!
00:03:53Keep practicing!
00:03:55You sound god-awful!
00:03:57Heartless fucking bastard.
00:04:13It's two of us.
00:04:15You're saying you don't remember me?
00:04:18Who remembers Shippen and his dumb teens anyways?
00:04:20No way.
00:04:21Totally.
00:04:22I love that show.
00:04:23I watched it in one sitting at like 2am.
00:04:26This is one of my favorites.
00:04:27It definitely doesn't get the love that it deserves.
00:04:29But I think it's one of their best ones.
00:04:31Really?
00:04:33I never begged you for a sappy romance kind of guy.
00:04:38Looks can be deceiving.
00:04:39Looks can be deceiving.
00:04:44The wand of light.
00:04:46So it does exist.
00:04:48Maybe I'm just jaded.
00:04:50It's hard to believe that love like that actually exists in real life.
00:04:53Why not?
00:04:54We're witches.
00:04:55Monsters and magic exist in our world.
00:04:58Why can't true love?
00:05:00I am Lele, by the way.
00:05:04Lele Collins.
00:05:07Eric Phillips.
00:05:09Nice to meet you, Lele Collins.
00:05:12Damn.
00:05:13He's hot.
00:05:14And I'm in Vegas.
00:05:15I deserve a little fun.
00:05:17Wow.
00:05:17Eric Phillips.
00:05:19I'll be in the poker room tonight.
00:05:21Maybe I'll see you there.
00:05:23Maybe.
00:05:42Okay, Svensson.
00:05:44Don't fuck this up.
00:05:59Eric motherfucking Svensson.
00:06:01Excuse me?
00:06:02You ghosted me for three months after sleeping with me and you think you can sit there and act like
00:06:06nothing happened?
00:06:07I think you've got me confused with someone else.
00:06:09Don't gaslight me, Svensson.
00:06:11I know exactly who you are.
00:06:27You know who she is?
00:06:29I think she's got me confused with someone else.
00:06:43You nervous?
00:06:45Not at all.
00:06:47You can always fold, you know.
00:06:49I'd hate to send you home empty-handed.
00:06:53Not a chance.
00:06:55I'm here to wait.
00:06:57You sure?
00:06:58Seems like your focus is somewhere else.
00:07:01Oh.
00:07:02I am very focused.
00:07:07Are you guys done making Google eyes at each other or what?
00:07:12You're full of shit, Phillips.
00:07:14I call.
00:07:15Yeah, there is no way that you have this.
00:07:18But don't worry.
00:07:20I'll let you go another round.
00:07:22Once I beat you.
00:07:23Actually, I think I'm about to hit the jackpot.
00:07:29Eric?
00:07:32Eric?
00:07:38Eric?
00:07:46Eric?
00:07:50I have wanted to do that since I saw you by the pool in your bikini.
00:07:53Eric.
00:07:55Everyone can see.
00:07:56Do you want me to stop?
00:08:13What's he?
00:08:14Let him watch.
00:08:16Give him a show.
00:08:28Wait.
00:08:29Wait.
00:08:30Please don't stop.
00:08:31Use your words.
00:08:33Tell me what you want.
00:08:35I want your tongue inside me.
00:08:37Please.
00:08:38That's a good girl.
00:08:41Oh.
00:08:43Oh.
00:08:44Oh.
00:08:45Eric.
00:08:49Wait.
00:08:50Wait.
00:08:50I think I'm gonna...
00:08:53Was that some kind of vision?
00:08:57No.
00:08:59That was from him.
00:09:08Lucky son of a bitch.
00:09:11Beginner Lux.
00:09:12Let's see you do it again next hand.
00:09:14No can do.
00:09:16I have a date with a very pretty lady.
00:09:24Why do I have the feeling that you're not exactly as you present, Eric Phillips?
00:09:31It is Vegas.
00:09:33Isn't that part of the fun?
00:09:46No.
00:09:47It wasn't very nice of you to tease me with your strap of your dress during our game.
00:09:53Hmm.
00:09:54It's very distracting.
00:09:57Well you know it wasn't very nice of you to send me that little vision during our game.
00:10:02I just wanted to give you a little sneak preview.
00:10:14Eric, there are people.
00:10:16And if you're quiet, they won't see you.
00:10:21I should stop.
00:10:23This wasn't how the plan was supposed to go.
00:10:25You know, you were right before.
00:10:26I'm not who I say I am.
00:10:29And who out there is exactly as they present.
00:10:32But I am...
00:10:33Look, I don't care who you are outside of this.
00:10:36For once in my life, I...
00:10:39I just want to forget about everything.
00:10:42Just live in the moment.
00:10:44And I think you...
00:10:47Can help me do that.
00:10:55Remove the camouflage.
00:10:57I want you to see you...
00:11:00The real you.
00:11:02But then you'll know who I am.
00:11:04I already know who you are.
00:11:07The real you...
00:11:09Wants to let go.
00:11:15No one's ever looked at me like that.
00:11:18He really wants me.
00:11:20The real me.
00:11:21Fuck.
00:11:24You are gorgeous.
00:11:27I want you, Eric.
00:11:30I need you.
00:11:35Spread your legs for me.
00:11:41Keep your eyes open.
00:11:44I want you to watch yourself come.
00:11:47All over my fingers.
00:11:53Keep your eyes open.
00:12:00I thought you said that they couldn't hear me.
00:12:02They can't if you stay quiet.
00:12:04Keep your eyes open.
00:12:06Or I'll stop.
00:12:07Keep your eyes open.
00:12:11That's a good girl.
00:12:13Look down at my head.
00:12:18Oh my god, they hurt me.
00:12:21I can't.
00:12:22Just relax.
00:12:25I can't, Eric.
00:12:28It's okay.
00:12:29Don't think.
00:12:31Just tell.
00:12:33Tell me how you feel.
00:12:35So good.
00:12:36But I need more, Eric.
00:12:42You feel so good.
00:12:44I can't wait to put my mouth on you.
00:12:48I'm sorry I'm going to make you come.
00:12:51I'll get you there.
00:12:53I'm going to go down.
00:12:54I want you to scream my name when it comes.
00:12:58Five.
00:12:59Four.
00:13:01Three.
00:13:03Two.
00:13:07Four.
00:13:09Five.
00:13:17Four.
00:13:24Four.
00:13:26Four.
00:13:27Four.
00:13:28Five.
00:13:28I can't believe I just came on his hand,
00:13:31in front of other people.
00:13:33I think this is your form.
00:13:41i'll be at the fountain tomorrow at eight o'clock if you decide that you want more see you there
00:13:58how does he know what floor i was on
00:14:05so you've told me all about your wild sister and the things that she's done
00:14:11what about you
00:14:15i'm the responsible sister the boring one if you will
00:14:20and i do what i'm supposed to do all the rules and all that good stuff
00:14:25i don't believe you i mean i know how you are in an elevator
00:14:29oh come on
00:14:32come on it's vegas let me be your bad influence just for tonight
00:14:41so any bad ideas
00:14:47just one
00:14:54what are you doing
00:15:12no games just fuck me already
00:15:14i thought i would try to woo you first
00:15:16consider me wooed
00:15:17then we could take it slow
00:15:19well your lips say one thing
00:15:21but your body says something else
00:15:35wait
00:15:37shit
00:15:39i almost lost my cool
00:15:40i gotta remember the plan
00:15:44oh my god
00:15:45i can't believe i just did that
00:15:47that was so embarrassing
00:15:48this is why i don't do crazy shit
00:15:50that was way too much
00:15:51hey
00:15:52you're never too much
00:15:53you don't understand eric
00:15:55okay if my family saw me do any of that
00:15:58they would freak out
00:15:59tonight's not about your family
00:16:01tonight's about you
00:16:02remember
00:16:03forget what everyone else has told you to do
00:16:06do something that you want to do
00:16:08something no one would expect
00:16:10maybe he's right
00:16:12i've spent my whole life doing what my family's told me to do
00:16:18for once in my life
00:16:20i'm doing something for myself
00:16:22she spotted the chapel
00:16:25just like i planned
00:16:29so are you uh
00:16:30you sure about this marriage thing
00:16:32it's only temporary
00:16:33okay and old magic is weak
00:16:35the hand fast bond will probably only last till the morning
00:16:39so
00:16:40are you ready for a holy matrimony
00:16:42i'm ready if you're ready
00:16:45come on
00:16:49let's go
00:16:54you nervous
00:16:57just
00:16:58never been married before
00:17:07uh it's my sister i need to take this
00:17:09oh yeah take your time
00:17:11elvis here wants me to pick out a hand fast bouquet
00:17:13hey mama let's get some flowers for you come on
00:17:15let's do it
00:17:17you need to come home
00:17:18now
00:17:19i can't secret
00:17:21eric dad's up to something
00:17:22he invited Fitzgerald to the house
00:17:24and made me dress up
00:17:26he looks at me weird
00:17:27it really freaks me out
00:17:28you were my big brother
00:17:30i need you
00:17:31here
00:17:31listen i can't leave right now
00:17:33but i promise
00:17:35when i come home i'll have enough power to get rid of dad forever
00:17:37okay
00:17:41hey
00:17:43is everything okay
00:17:45yeah
00:17:48yeah it's fine
00:17:51you uh
00:17:52you sure about this
00:17:54it's only temporary
00:17:56come on we'll be laughing about this for years
00:18:02let's go
00:18:17right
00:18:18only temporary
00:18:20unless you get hand fasted under a full moon
00:18:22then the hand fast bond is nearly unbreakable
00:18:26but she doesn't know that
00:18:27and once she does
00:18:29she'll hate me
00:18:31is your sister okay
00:18:33is something wrong
00:18:36nothing's wrong
00:18:37we're about to get buried in vegas by ovus
00:18:40what could possibly be wrong
00:18:43all right you ready to rock and roll you hunk-a-hunk-a-hot couple
00:18:47let's get this show started
00:19:16this is it
00:19:18i have the wand of light
00:19:20the most powerful object in the world
00:19:22if i leave now
00:19:24i could use it to take control away from my father
00:19:27set secret and eye free
00:19:35but i already betrayed her once
00:19:37but i already betrayed her once
00:20:19off to get more chocolate strawberries
00:20:21be back soon
00:20:32it's only temporary
00:20:33okay and all magic is weak
00:20:35the hand fast bond will probably only last till the morning
00:20:40that's weird
00:20:40that's weird
00:20:41the mark should have worn off by now
00:20:51so did you marry the girl yet
00:20:56no it's complicated
00:21:00complicated
00:21:01or distracted
00:21:03you were sent there
00:21:04to marry the sherwood heir
00:21:06and bind her power
00:21:07to this family
00:21:08not to play house
00:21:09you're a svensson
00:21:11act like one
00:21:12eric is
00:21:13a svensson
00:21:15i married my family's worst enemy
00:21:18i don't need you to tell me what i am
00:21:20then stop hesitating
00:21:22if the rumors about the wand of light are true
00:21:25we might catch an even bigger prize
00:21:27so hurry up
00:21:29and marry the sherwood girl
00:21:30and then bring her to me
00:21:33idiot
00:21:41he's been lying this whole time
00:21:49i need to tell her the truth
00:21:53you lying piece of troll shit
00:21:56you didn't want me
00:21:57you just wanted the fucking wand
00:21:58didn't you
00:22:01i didn't even know the wand existed
00:22:02until i met you
00:22:03you still lied to me eric
00:22:04you knew i was a sherwood from the start
00:22:07that's why you gave me a fake fucking name right
00:22:09okay i did but that was before we
00:22:11why before before you decided to mess with me
00:22:13get your dick wet before you ruin me
00:22:15and my family forever
00:22:16i'm not trying to ruin your family
00:22:18i'm trying to save mine
00:22:19oh i know all about you spinsons
00:22:22all you do is lie
00:22:24and cheat
00:22:25and steal to get whatever you fucking want
00:22:27i should have caught it at the poker table
00:22:29but your little tricks won't work on me this time
00:22:32the hand fast mark
00:22:34it'll fade
00:22:35just like you
00:22:36just like whatever this was
00:22:38the hand fast wasn't a trick
00:22:39not that part
00:22:40not with you
00:22:43it doesn't matter eric
00:22:45you will never
00:22:46ever
00:22:47ever
00:22:47get the wand
00:22:49lily
00:22:49what
00:22:51when this fades
00:22:52eric
00:22:53i will never
00:22:54have to see you again
00:23:07so that didn't happen
00:23:12my older sister effie told me that the mark would fade a week later
00:23:17then a month went by
00:23:19then
00:23:20well
00:23:25see this is where you don't fuck with old magic
00:23:27it's all fun and games so there's a full moon
00:23:30then it's the most powerful magic in the universe
00:23:37apparently getting hand fast married under a full moon creates a bond that's almost unbreakable
00:23:44also apparently the almost part means that both people have to perform the divorce spell
00:23:51i tried calling
00:23:53texting
00:23:55sending flying monkeys
00:23:57nothing
00:23:58not a single word
00:24:00from my beloved husband
00:24:02for half a year
00:24:12yes
00:24:12i still sleep with a wand under my pillow
00:24:15the emotional ass whooping i got from my mother for getting hand fasted to a stranger
00:24:20was bad enough
00:24:22no one can ever find out that i almost lost the wand too
00:24:25i just need one night
00:24:28to sleep without
00:24:31thinking about him
00:24:54who are you
00:24:55what do you want with the wand of light
00:24:59nothing
00:24:59i'm just here to collect my payday from my client once i bring him that wand
00:25:05payday
00:25:06someone sent you
00:25:07who
00:25:07fred i can't break client confidentiality
00:25:10sorry sweetie
00:25:13well i'm afraid that you chose the wrong witch to fuck with tonight
00:25:29be wise not to fight back witch
00:25:31be wise not to fight back witch
00:25:32you're in over your head
00:25:34i'd rather die than let you take the war
00:25:38suit yourself
00:25:44suit yourself
00:25:45suit yourself
00:25:53what the fuck
00:26:08get off me she has the wand
00:26:11i got the wand
00:26:12i'll get the rest later
00:26:16no
00:26:20you are the reason i lost the wand
00:26:22who are you
00:26:29the hand fast mark
00:26:34hello wife
00:26:35miss me
00:26:39what are you doing here
00:26:41oh well you know i thought i'd spice up our marriage
00:26:44do a little role playing
00:26:44but it looks like
00:26:45you're more into bondage
00:26:47i didn't know you were so kinky
00:26:48shut up
00:26:52you should be thanking me
00:26:54i did just save your life
00:26:55thanking you
00:26:56you're the reason my family's most powerful heirloom is gone
00:26:59how did you even find me
00:27:02wait a minute
00:27:04you were trying to steal the wand too
00:27:06weren't you
00:27:07maybe
00:27:09god you slimy
00:27:11tote face motherfucker
00:27:13okay first you trick me into marrying you
00:27:15then you ghost me for six months
00:27:17and now you come in here
00:27:19like a goddamn fucking cartoon burglar
00:27:22and try to take my wand
00:27:23look i was just gonna borrow it
00:27:25yeah for one of your
00:27:26dirty no good spins and schemes
00:27:28i just
00:27:30i need it
00:27:31okay it's
00:27:33it's the only way that we can be free
00:27:34no
00:27:35look
00:27:36my dad doesn't know about our marriage
00:27:38not yet
00:27:39but he knows about the wand
00:27:40if he gets a hold of it
00:27:41he's gonna sell it to the highest bidder
00:27:43whoever controls the wand
00:27:44has the power to take over the world
00:27:46or worse
00:27:47no
00:27:48worse than tricking me into marrying you
00:27:50i told you that that wasn't a trick
00:27:52it doesn't matter eric
00:27:54she has the wand
00:27:55that shadow thief or whatever
00:27:57and that's your fault
00:27:59i can get it back
00:28:02look i know i don't deserve it
00:28:03but just
00:28:04give me one more chance
00:28:06i can get the wand back
00:28:08take care of what i need to take care of
00:28:09and then i'll do the divorce spell
00:28:12please lili just
00:28:13give me one more chance
00:28:14please
00:28:15i can't trust him
00:28:17i shouldn't
00:28:19but my gut tells me
00:28:21this time
00:28:22it might be different
00:28:29no
00:28:31no we're both gonna go get it
00:28:34it is my job as a sherwood heir
00:28:36to set things right
00:28:37so i don't let the wand fall into the wrong hands
00:29:09and you really think
00:29:10the better half of my soul
00:29:13yeah
00:29:13you're not gonna speak talk your way into my pants again eric
00:29:16we'll see
00:29:22now the wand forbids a direct tracking spell
00:29:24so we have to track its trail
00:29:27that's a ten mile radius
00:29:28we'll never find the wand inside that circle
00:29:30well with the tracking spell
00:29:32i get a location okay
00:29:33it doesn't last long though
00:29:35we'll have like three or four days
00:29:37well lucky for you
00:29:39i already packed your bags
00:29:42consider it our official honeymoon
00:29:48i'll show this we're done
00:29:49you got it
00:29:50don't go back on your words
00:29:52we will do the divorce spell
00:29:54cross my heart
00:29:56hope to die
00:30:15you magicked a car here
00:30:16this isn't just any car
00:30:25this is bessie
00:30:26you really expect us to track down the most powerful magical object in the world
00:30:32in a car without a roof
00:30:34i mean
00:30:35if you're not comfortable
00:30:40i could go by myself
00:30:42if
00:30:43you trust me not to run away
00:30:46i wouldn't trust you with a half-eaten newt muffin
00:30:49i was gonna throw in the trash
00:30:53then your chariot awaits
00:30:55wife
00:31:15we've been driving all day and she hasn't said a single word
00:31:30you're svensson
00:31:32you don't play house with sheriffs
00:31:33why are we turning
00:31:35we don't have any time
00:31:36we have to find the wand eric
00:31:39that circle is getting further and further away
00:31:42plus it's getting dark
00:31:43we need to stay somewhere for the night
00:31:44why don't you just let me drive
00:31:45because you haven't slept either
00:31:47plus
00:31:48no one can drive bessie but me
00:31:51what is with guys and cars
00:31:52jesus
00:31:53no
00:31:53i mean literally
00:31:55no one else can drive bessie
00:31:56my great-great-grandfather put a hex on all of our possessions
00:32:00anyone that's non-blood related can't touch it
00:32:03the svensson's like to hoard their treasures
00:32:06your family has issues
00:32:08finally
00:32:08something we can agree on
00:32:11was this your plan all along?
00:32:13make me feel bad for you
00:32:14because your family's evil
00:32:15so i get all ooey gooey
00:32:17and forget about the divorce
00:32:18not everyone in my family is evil
00:32:21yeah
00:32:22okay
00:32:35you cross this wall
00:32:36or do anything to piss me off
00:32:38more than you already have
00:32:39then you do not even want to imagine
00:32:41the hex i'm gonna put on you
00:32:48i promise
00:32:49no funny business
00:32:52peaky promise
00:33:13goodnight to you too
00:33:28in vegas
00:33:29you said you had a sister
00:33:32right?
00:33:34yeah
00:33:36sigrid
00:33:39she didn't ask to be a svensson
00:33:41she's different than us
00:33:43better
00:33:45not like you?
00:33:47no
00:33:49not like me
00:33:50but you already know that
00:34:13i don't want to know what you're doing
00:34:18it's a little bit
00:34:19yeah
00:34:19like me
00:34:19i'm gonna say
00:34:20yeah
00:34:20i'm gonna call you
00:34:20you know
00:34:21give it a minute
00:34:21i'm gonna come to you
00:34:21yeah
00:34:21i'm gonna say
00:34:43Good morning, wife.
00:34:46I told you not to call me.
00:35:04You were saying something?
00:35:07What?
00:35:10How did you know I was awake?
00:35:13The husband always knows.
00:35:21Well, if you don't mind, I'm going to shower.
00:35:27No peeking.
00:35:32Crossed my heart.
00:35:34Hope to die.
00:35:42I need to get a grip.
00:35:44Some washboard abs and a cocky grin aren't enough to make me fall for him.
00:35:49I just need this one time to take the edge off.
00:36:02I remember he touched me like this in Vegas.
00:36:18Look, I'm so close.
00:36:25That's it, Lily.
00:36:27Be a good girl.
00:36:29And go for me.
00:36:37Are you ready?
00:36:41Okay.
00:36:43Eric.
00:36:44Eric.
00:36:47Eric.
00:36:57You said that you wouldn't look.
00:37:01I don't need to look to know what you were doing.
00:37:04Well, I'll think about me.
00:37:07God, you are so full of yourself.
00:37:09Do I know what I heard?
00:37:11Say another word and I'll turn you into a frog.
00:37:17Were you thinking about that time in Vegas where I ate you out in the shower and you came
00:37:24so hard you almost crushed my skull between your thighs?
00:37:29I think about those times a lot.
00:37:32Yeah, well, I don't think about them at all.
00:37:59You still haven't even told me what you want the wand for yet.
00:38:02It's on a need-to-know basis.
00:38:05Oh, don't you think I need to know?
00:38:08I am your wife, after all.
00:38:10Oh, now you remember you're my wife.
00:38:13Funny how you only remember that once convenient for you.
00:38:15I remember every time I think about how badly I fucked up in Vegas.
00:38:19So all I am is a mistake.
00:38:20If I remember right, you're the one that suggested that we get handfast married.
00:38:24Obviously, that was before I knew about all your bullshit and lies.
00:38:29Duty and responsibility might not be a big deal in your family, but in mine, it's huge.
00:38:35See?
00:38:35There you go again.
00:38:36Always worried about what your family wants.
00:38:38It's never about what you want.
00:38:39I follow the rules because I have to, Eric.
00:38:42If I don't, I end up in situations like this.
00:38:45Did you ever stop to think that maybe that's unfair?
00:38:48That maybe your ideas and their ideas are bullshit?
00:38:52You ever think of that?
00:38:54Spoken like a true Svensson.
00:38:56Well, you're a Svensson too, sweetheart.
00:38:58Not much longer, I can tell you that.
00:39:19I'm gonna get some coffee.
00:39:21It's getting dark.
00:39:22You really think you should be alone?
00:39:23So now that we're married, you think you have to babysit me too?
00:39:30Fine, just don't take too long.
00:39:35You got her in the car or what?
00:39:38Who?
00:39:38Don't play dumb with me, boy.
00:39:40The little Sherwood witch you married forgot to tell me about.
00:39:46You thought I wouldn't find out, huh?
00:39:48You did a good job of hiding it.
00:39:50I'll give you that.
00:39:51Maybe you are my son after all, huh?
00:39:54What's the end game here?
00:39:56You said you just needed to get the Sherwood's wand so you could pay off your debts.
00:39:59What does she have to do with it?
00:40:00Because I'm not an idiot like you.
00:40:03I'll finally have all the leverage I need over the Sherwood family.
00:40:07When I tell them their pretty little heir is my new daughter-in-law.
00:40:12And then it'll be our family that gets to call the shots in the magic world.
00:40:16So you just want to use her?
00:40:18Like you use mom?
00:40:19Like you're using your own daughter?
00:40:21This is not a request, boy.
00:40:23Bring the girl and the wand to me or you will be stripped of your name.
00:40:28Your magic, everything.
00:40:30And your sister, she'll be the one paying the price for your mistakes.
00:40:44This isn't right.
00:40:45The trail should still be here.
00:40:48Would you like some coffee, Miss Sherwood?
00:40:50Yeah, thank you.
00:40:51Wait, how did you know my...
00:40:54You.
00:40:58But the map said that...
00:41:00That's cute.
00:41:02You think that dusty old map could track me?
00:41:09That one's mine.
00:41:14Not anymore, it's not.
00:41:15And sadly, my employers need your powers too.
00:41:19Employer?
00:41:22Hold still.
00:41:23This will only hurt a bit.
00:41:25No, stop.
00:41:26Stop!
00:41:29Hold still.
00:41:34Get away from her!
00:41:40Eric, the wand!
00:41:53My magic.
00:41:55She took half of my magic, Eric!
00:41:57You're okay.
00:41:58I got you.
00:41:59You're okay.
00:42:00You're okay.
00:42:03I don't understand.
00:42:05The map said that the wand was miles away.
00:42:08What did she want with my powers?
00:42:10The thief must have found some way to bypass the tracking spell.
00:42:13She can have gone far.
00:42:14We'll find her.
00:42:15Lay load for now.
00:42:16Eric, stop the car.
00:42:17I can't breathe.
00:42:19Okay.
00:42:20Okay.
00:42:22Okay.
00:42:25Okay.
00:42:29Hey, hey, hey.
00:42:31Look at me.
00:42:31Look at me.
00:42:32You're okay.
00:42:33You're okay.
00:42:33Just breathe.
00:42:34I got you.
00:42:36You're safe.
00:42:37I thought she was gonna kill me, Eric.
00:42:41I'm not gonna let that happen.
00:42:43Not while I'm breathing.
00:42:57I still hate you.
00:43:01If you hated me, you wouldn't let me touch you like this.
00:43:05This doesn't change anything.
00:43:08It's only scratching an itch.
00:43:10Once we get the wand, and we do the door spell, and we forget each other existed.
00:43:21Is that what you want, Lily?
00:43:23You want to forget how good I make you feel?
00:43:26You want to forget I'm the only person in the whole fucking world who can make you feel this way?
00:43:36Eric.
00:43:39Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:43:47We can't do this.
00:43:50This is what goes wrong between us.
00:43:52We can't make that mistake again.
00:43:54We have a job to do, Eric.
00:43:56Let's get the wand.
00:43:58That's it.
00:43:59And then what?
00:44:01You know what happens after, Eric.
00:44:03Eric, we do the divorce spell, and we never see each other again.
00:44:07It's time.
00:44:08It's time to do this.
00:44:12It's time to do this.
00:44:13It's time to do that.
00:44:14It's time to do this.
00:44:20It's time to do this.
00:44:24And now, coach Jahrphée said,
00:44:34and can use each other again.
00:44:34It's time to do this.
00:44:39Smells like fresh-baked pastries, cinnamon, old magic.
00:44:48I should have known.
00:44:51It's a satyr's inn.
00:44:53That smell.
00:44:55Nomenin habitus smell.
00:44:57It's woven into places like this where it couples.
00:45:02You mean orgies?
00:45:05The satyrs are the horniest bastards in the lone world.
00:45:08It lowers any fear, doubt, shame, grits of your deepest desires.
00:45:16Without any fear of judgment or consequences.
00:45:28You don't.
00:45:31I'm trying not to.
00:45:44I'm trying not to.
00:45:51The spell doesn't create desire.
00:45:55It lets go of the lies.
00:45:57It tells us what we really want.
00:45:59What I want doesn't matter.
00:46:02It matters in here.
00:46:05Tell me what you really want.
00:46:07You can say goodbye.
00:46:10And go our separate ways.
00:46:11Or you can tell me you want this.
00:46:15You want me.
00:46:18Tell me to stay.
00:46:22Stay here.
00:46:24Please.
00:46:25God, what is this?
00:46:27Is this just the magic?
00:46:29No.
00:46:32It's not the spell.
00:46:34It's freedom.
00:46:37In here, the outside world doesn't matter.
00:46:40Just you.
00:46:41And me.
00:46:44I shouldn't want this.
00:46:46I know.
00:46:49I shouldn't be doing this.
00:46:53Or this.
00:46:55Be able to share with it to the most respected family of the whole rich world.
00:47:02You definitely shouldn't sound this fucking sexy.
00:47:04To mind.
00:47:07You're the other year.
00:47:09To the Sherwood family.
00:47:12Who are you?
00:47:14I want you, Eric.
00:47:16I need you.
00:47:20Tell me who you are.
00:47:24Lily.
00:47:25Close.
00:47:29But not quite.
00:47:32Tonight.
00:47:34Tell me who you are.
00:47:36Your wife.
00:47:52Still running and circle shine away.
00:48:01This doesn't change anything.
00:48:03I know.
00:48:05We can have tonight.
00:48:06And then tomorrow we go back to who we are on the outside.
00:48:10Sure.
00:48:11I'll go back to being my bad self.
00:48:13And you can go back to pretending to be a good little witch.
00:48:17Excuse me.
00:48:18Don't deny.
00:48:19Lily, Sherwood, Svenson.
00:48:21I know I'm kind of dark.
00:48:23Naughty thoughts you have.
00:48:26I don't.
00:48:28It's okay to be bad.
00:48:31You don't have to pretend.
00:48:35I don't, huh?
00:48:39You know, just because I have half my magic doesn't mean I can't play with you for tonight.
00:48:56Now you're going to sit there like a good little witch.
00:49:06And I'm going to do whatever I want to you.
00:49:18I don't remember packing that lingerie.
00:49:21Close your eyes.
00:49:25Eric, you're so good for being such a bad boy.
00:49:31I'm being properly motivated not to move.
00:49:38See how long it takes you to break.
00:49:41For you, I could stay here forever.
00:49:43Pretty to think so.
00:49:45Why don't we test that little theory, huh?
00:49:48We're playing a dangerous game.
00:49:51All you have to do is admit that I win.
00:49:57I'll let you fuck me.
00:49:59I'll even let you come wherever you want.
00:50:06You can come here or here.
00:50:12I'll even let you come in here.
00:50:18God.
00:50:19Come on.
00:50:21I know you wanna.
00:50:22Just admit I'm right.
00:50:27Fine.
00:50:29You win.
00:50:30Oh, what was that?
00:50:33You hurt me.
00:50:34Oh.
00:50:43So what's my prize?
00:50:48I could torture you like you did me.
00:50:53But I want to be inside you.
00:50:55I want to feel you squeeze me tight.
00:50:59And take me to bed, husband.
00:51:04Call me that again.
00:51:07You want me to fuck you, husband?
00:51:10Yeah.
00:51:11Fuck me.
00:51:20Tell me a story.
00:51:24Like the ones you did in Vegas.
00:51:27I've got a story about my pet goat, Gilmore, and how he got stuck on a magic carpet.
00:51:34Or the story about how my sister tried to negotiate with a troll using only red images.
00:51:41I know.
00:51:43I already know about your family.
00:51:47I want to know about you.
00:51:50What's it like to be a Svensson heir?
00:51:52You want the insider info.
00:51:55You want the insider info.
00:51:55Mmm.
00:51:55Mmm.
00:51:56You tell me yours, I'll tell you mine.
00:51:58You're gonna tell me how wonderful it was growing up as a beloved and blessed Sherwood?
00:52:08Is that what you think being a show what is like?
00:52:12Is that what you think being a show what is like?
00:52:14All fun and rainbows?
00:52:16Yeah, everybody loves your family.
00:52:18That's not true, Eric.
00:52:20There are so many people who would love it if we just disappeared.
00:52:23My mother has been shouldering all that responsibility and pressure for decades.
00:52:28And next year, I will be the head witch in charge.
00:52:32Everyone's counting on me to do the right thing.
00:52:34Like eat your fruits and veggies?
00:52:35Like spending my whole childhood being told that the whole world depended on me.
00:52:41Like never bothering to have any hopes or dreams because my whole life was planned for
00:52:47me from the very start before I was even born.
00:52:50I'm always doing the right thing for the family.
00:52:52I was never allowed to even think of doing the wrong thing.
00:52:56I couldn't be tired.
00:52:58I couldn't be scared.
00:52:59I couldn't be angry.
00:53:00One mistake and my family loses everything that they've ever worked for.
00:53:05If this whole world fades to black, it's because I messed up.
00:53:08It's because I didn't do a good job.
00:53:13I don't think I've ever said that out loud before.
00:53:16I'm glad you did.
00:53:19Your turn.
00:53:21Growing up with Svinson was a little different.
00:53:26The old man likes to say I was the first of his disappointments.
00:53:31I guess it's good.
00:53:33At least I was first in something.
00:53:36I didn't care about disappointing him.
00:53:38I just wanted to get away from him.
00:53:41I had it all planned out when I turned 16.
00:53:44I'd leave, change my name, and the Svinson bloodline would die with me.
00:53:48My mom died when Secret was born.
00:53:53My dad used her against me every day since.
00:54:03I'm so sorry, Eric.
00:54:05I...
00:54:06I...
00:54:07I shouldn't have asked.
00:54:09It's okay.
00:54:11Svinsons have always lived in the Sherwood shadows.
00:54:14We are the shadows.
00:54:18All you do is shine.
00:54:30He always asks me what I want.
00:54:34What do you want, Eric?
00:54:39You'd hate me if I told you.
00:54:41I mean, more than you already do.
00:54:46I don't hate you.
00:54:49I never did.
00:55:25Eric, something's wrong.
00:55:27Dad's got visitors.
00:55:29A bunch of old guys.
00:55:30I don't know who they are.
00:55:31He made me play piano for them, like some kind of dress up doll.
00:55:35It's like freaking me out.
00:55:41Eric.
00:55:43Are you safe?
00:55:48Eric.
00:55:49Are you safe?
00:55:50For now.
00:55:52All those weird old men lived last night.
00:55:55And I hexed my door so no one could get in.
00:55:58Don't let anyone in.
00:55:59If Dad tries to get you to play with any of those weird old men, just...
00:56:02I know.
00:56:03I'll just do what he says.
00:56:06I always do.
00:56:08I'm so sick of this E.
00:56:09What if he actually does make me marry one of those guys?
00:56:12I'm never going to let that happen, all right?
00:56:15Look.
00:56:16I'm close to getting the Wand of Light.
00:56:19The Wand of Light?
00:56:21Like, the one from the fairy tales?
00:56:23You can't tell Dad a secret.
00:56:27When I get the Wand, be ready for my call.
00:56:30I have a plan.
00:56:31I barely know basic spells.
00:56:35I don't know if...
00:56:36You can.
00:56:37I know you can.
00:56:39When the time is right, you'll be ready.
00:57:07Filling up Bessie.
00:57:09Meet me downstairs when you're ready.
00:57:20Oh my God!
00:57:22Why do you and Mom always do that?
00:57:24A bit high-strung, aren't you, sis?
00:57:28I was just in the middle of thinking.
00:57:30Yeah, and going by your aura, I can guess about who.
00:57:33Very much giving post-orgasmic afterglow.
00:57:36Oh, yeah.
00:57:37Well, you and your little aura reading can go jump in a lake.
00:57:40Oh, aren't we feisty this morning?
00:57:43Your super hot hubby isn't around, I'm guessing?
00:57:45Or have you already murdered him after catching his dick?
00:57:48I know all the best places to hide a body, by the way.
00:57:52I'm fine, Effie.
00:57:54I know all about Eric Svensson.
00:57:56I'm not stupid.
00:57:57And when we get the wand back...
00:57:59You mean if you get the wand back?
00:58:01We will.
00:58:03And when we do, we'll do the divorce spell.
00:58:06This mark will be gone.
00:58:08I'll go home and marry the best person who serves our family alliance.
00:58:16It's not fair, you know.
00:58:18I know I'm the last person who should be saying that, because it's not like I can change it.
00:58:23But it's not.
00:58:26It's just the way it goes, right?
00:58:28There has to be a way for you to be with who you actually want, and be a good heir.
00:58:35Effie, what I want has nothing to do with anything in my life.
00:58:39That's fine.
00:58:40It's what it means to be a sure what.
00:58:43Just remember, repeating it doesn't make it true.
00:58:48All right.
00:58:50Whatever you say, sis.
00:58:51You know best.
00:58:53I know.
00:58:55Give everyone a hug from me.
00:58:57Tell them I'll be back home soon.
00:59:08Last night was the last time.
00:59:10After today, we're done.
00:59:13If I say that enough times, maybe I'll finally believe it.
00:59:26I'll tell you about my plan with the wand.
00:59:30My family's magic is dying.
00:59:32My father's been cashing in on broken promises three years.
00:59:35But he holds most of the power.
00:59:37And me and Sieg, we just get the scraps.
00:59:39That's how he controls us.
00:59:42If I could use the wand just once, I could take his power away from a break.
00:59:48I'm not trying to ruin your family.
00:59:49I'm trying to save mine.
00:59:50It's the only way that we can be free.
00:59:54That's what you meant by trying to save your family.
00:59:58I was going to tell you the night before.
01:00:00I was going to tell you the truth.
01:00:02And then I was just going to ask if I could use the wand just once.
01:00:06And then I would do whatever you wanted.
01:00:08Get a divorce.
01:00:10Leave you alone forever.
01:00:12Why didn't you tell me?
01:00:16Why didn't you tell me that morning?
01:00:18Maybe things could have been different.
01:00:21I would have asked you to stay.
01:00:23It's a nice idea.
01:00:26But our families have been at war since the beginning of time.
01:00:30Maybe if we were different people.
01:00:33We have different lives.
01:00:35This would have worked.
01:00:38Maybe the wand has a spell for that, Eric.
01:00:43A witch can hope.
01:00:51What?
01:00:53Do I have mushrooms growing out of the side of my head?
01:00:55Why are you looking at me like that?
01:01:09Wait, I'm driving.
01:01:11Pull over.
01:01:31You have got to be kidding me.
01:01:39End of the line, witches.
01:02:02End of the line, witches.
01:02:04Eric!
01:02:28Now's not a good time, old man.
01:02:30Well, it sounds like my insurance policy worked.
01:02:34You, you said the shadow thief?
01:02:37Of course I said her.
01:02:39Do you think I would trust you to finish the job?
01:02:53Demons are very expensive, you know?
01:02:56But I thought that the Sherwood girl's soul in exchange for the wand was a good enough bargain.
01:03:05Souls of magic users apparently taste better.
01:03:19You said you needed her alive.
01:03:21The Sherwoods will never pay off your debts if you kill their heir.
01:03:23I've reconsidered.
01:03:25Once I have that wand, I will be the most powerful witch alive.
01:03:30Debts won't matter.
01:03:32The stupid Sherwoods won't matter.
01:03:34And as for the girl, well, I don't need her breathing to use her power.
01:03:38I can always marry Sigrid off to form new alliances.
01:03:43Guess you won't be trapped in a marriage after all, son.
01:03:48You're welcome.
01:03:51Go to hell, old man.
01:04:03Take it!
01:04:06No!
01:04:08Your soul will be delicious!
01:04:17I can take Dad's magic into him and finally be free.
01:04:26Get off my wife!
01:04:35You'll pay for that, witch!
01:04:48This isn't the last you'll see of me.
01:04:55Hey, I've got you.
01:04:57You didn't run.
01:04:59You're kidding?
01:05:00I'd be your pretty shitty husband if I let my wife's soul get sucked out by a demon.
01:05:07Eric!
01:05:08You can't get rid of me that usually.
01:05:10No, no, no, no, no, stay with me.
01:05:12Eric!
01:05:14Oh my...
01:05:15Eric, no, no, no, no, no, stay with me.
01:05:17Oh my God!
01:05:20I can't save you.
01:05:21I don't have my powers.
01:05:23Why didn't you run?
01:05:26You could have saved yourself.
01:05:28I've been saving myself.
01:05:31My whole life.
01:05:33I thought I'd try something new.
01:05:36You idiot.
01:05:37You stupid, stupid idiot.
01:05:39You stupid, stupid idiot.
01:05:40Yeah.
01:05:42But I'm your idiot.
01:05:50You stupid, devil, or a spell.
01:05:53I have promised.
01:05:55Now you're free.
01:05:59I don't want to be free.
01:06:02I don't want to be free.
01:06:05I don't want to be with you.
01:06:07Just keep secrets safe.
01:06:09Safe from my father.
01:06:12Safe from all of it.
01:06:15You know, those days in Vegas...
01:06:20were the best three days of my life.
01:06:22All right, let's get this show started, okay?
01:06:24Whoa!
01:06:27I love you.
01:06:30I love you, too.
01:06:32I love you, I love you.
01:06:34I love you.
01:06:36I love you.
01:06:38I love you, too.
01:06:41I love you.
01:06:49I love you.
01:07:00I love you.
01:07:04user, their deepest desires.
01:07:11Please, please, please.
01:07:21Eric, please.
01:07:25Please.
01:07:33Lily, you're alive.
01:07:37You absolute moron.
01:07:42You absolute moron.
01:07:44Be gentle.
01:07:46I was dead for like 10 seconds.
01:07:49You're alive.
01:07:51That is for divorcing me on your literal deathbed, you asshole.
01:07:56I thought I was doing something noble.
01:07:58Something cool.
01:07:59The wand gave you your power back?
01:08:03My mom used to say that the wand's user grants it its deepest desire.
01:08:07I guess it knew what I really wanted.
01:08:11What did you want?
01:08:14You.
01:08:17Don't scare me like that again, okay?
01:08:20You know, I thought I heard something when I was bleeding out.
01:08:26You know, maybe you could say it again.
01:08:34Maybe you could say it again.
01:08:38I love you, Eric Spenson.
01:08:43That's my girl.
01:08:46Shh.
01:08:50Let's go.
01:09:03You ready for one last stop?
01:09:07Yeah.
01:09:27Ah, there you are.
01:09:30I knew I could always trust a demon to get the job done.
01:09:34Now, where is my wand?
01:09:38Wait.
01:09:39You're supposed to be dead.
01:09:41Wow.
01:09:42You weren't kidding.
01:09:43He really is evil.
01:09:45I put a barrier around this whole house.
01:09:48It's impossible.
01:09:48There's no way you should be able to be in here.
01:09:50There's always a loophole, old man.
01:09:55Secret, you ungrateful brat.
01:09:58How dare you betray me like this?
01:10:00Really, Dad?
01:10:01Playing the family card after you almost sold me into child marriage?
01:10:05You ungrateful little pests.
01:10:15You've powerless now, old man.
01:10:17The magic's gone.
01:10:18Forever.
01:10:32Eric, Otis, Spenson, release me this instant.
01:10:36That is an order.
01:10:39You can handle it from here, right?
01:10:41His powers are gone.
01:10:42It doesn't scare me anymore.
01:10:46You ungrateful little brats.
01:10:48Both of you, you'll pay for this.
01:10:49You will both pay for this.
01:10:55Yeah, yeah.
01:10:56Talk soon, Pops.
01:10:58We're going to hit the road.
01:10:59I said get back here.
01:11:00I said get back here.
01:11:02Get back here.
01:11:03Please don't do this, you little bitch.
01:11:22So, where to now?
01:11:24Should we go and drop off the Wand of Life?
01:11:28Yeah.
01:11:29But there's something I want to do first.
01:11:32That sounds ominous.
01:11:35Just so happens that there's another full moon tonight.
01:11:39Leona Sherwood, are you asking me to hand fast marry you?
01:11:45Yeah.
01:11:47I think I am Eric Spenson.
01:11:50Well, we better hurry.
01:11:52We're going to take the Wand of Light home and make it back in time to the hunk-a-hunk
01:11:55-a wedding chapel of love.
01:11:57I wonder if they have the same Elvis.
01:11:59I sure hope so.
01:12:01But if we're going to get hand fast married again, no more secrets this time.
01:12:06So, is there anything you want to come clean about now?
01:12:09Soon to be again, husband?
01:12:13There is one thing.
01:12:16You might want to buckle up.
01:12:18We're about to go super speed.
01:12:21Bessie could have been going super speed this entire time.
01:12:24You didn't tell me to make our trip last longer.
01:12:26Didn't you?
01:12:27You know me so well.
01:12:29Soon to be again, wife.
01:12:33Leona Sherwood, will you marry me?
01:12:36And not because of some spell or because it's your duty.
01:12:41But because you want to.
01:12:46Yes, I will.
01:12:57Ready?
01:12:58Hell yeah.
01:13:00You know me.
01:13:04How do you feel?
01:13:05How do you feel?
01:13:06How do you feel?
01:13:08How do you feel?
01:13:08How do you feel?
01:13:08How do you feel?
01:13:09How do you feel?
01:13:09How do you feel?
01:13:09How do you feel?
01:13:10How do you feel?
Comments