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Head Witch in Charge Episode
Transcript
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00:00:25Jesus, Mom, can you at least warn me when you're gonna do that?
00:00:29Please?
00:00:30Oh, please. Don't be such a child.
00:00:34Do you still have the Wand of Light?
00:00:45See? The all-powerful magic heirloom.
00:00:48Still safe and sound.
00:00:50No, you should be more careful.
00:00:51The Wand of Light has the power to grant its user their deepest desires.
00:00:55Yeah.
00:00:57And if it falls into the wrong hands,
00:00:59it would become the most dangerous weapon in the world.
00:01:03But a marriage to another noble witch family would only strengthen your power.
00:01:08Yeah.
00:01:09Unless it's an evil Svensson, right?
00:01:12The Svensons are our worst enemies, Leona.
00:01:15Do you know how much our family has suffered over the centuries because of them?
00:01:20I know.
00:01:22Sorry.
00:01:23You are the guardian of the Wand of Light, Leona.
00:01:27And you can't reach your full potential until you marry and succeed me as head of the family.
00:01:33Come home with a husband next week or I will pick one for you.
00:01:37What?
00:01:38Mom, no, please don't.
00:01:40Leona Sherwood, you are getting married whether you like the boy I pick or not.
00:01:45Mom, please.
00:01:46Understand?
00:01:49Don't worry, Mom.
00:01:51I'm the responsible daughter.
00:01:53Remember.
00:02:00Okay, Leona Sherwood.
00:02:03This is your last weekend of freedom.
00:02:09For two more nights.
00:02:11Fuck my responsibility.
00:02:14I'm gonna have some fun.
00:02:29That would be $25.
00:02:32I think you mean it's on the house, right?
00:02:36Right.
00:02:37It's on the house.
00:02:57There you are.
00:02:58Little Miss Sherwood.
00:03:06Where the hell are you?
00:03:07I'm in Vegas like I said I would be old man.
00:03:09Don't you get smart with me you little shit.
00:03:12Remember your mission.
00:03:14Seduce the Sherwood heir and marry her and then that whole obnoxious family will be there to pay off our
00:03:20debts.
00:03:21You mean your debts.
00:03:22Quiet.
00:03:23It's bad enough that I have a sorry excuse for an heir.
00:03:26You are an embarrassment to the Spence in name.
00:03:29Now if you don't marry the Sherwood girl like I told you, I am going to sell your little sister
00:03:35off to old Fitzgerald to be his fourth wife.
00:03:39Dad's secret is just a kid.
00:03:41When I want your opinion, I will ask for it until then.
00:03:45You shut up and do as I say.
00:03:47Do you understand?
00:03:49Yeah.
00:03:50I understand.
00:03:52Good.
00:03:52And you, keep practicing.
00:03:55You sound god awful.
00:03:58Heartless fucking bastard.
00:04:13It's two of us.
00:04:15You're saying you don't remember me.
00:04:18Who remembers Shipman and his dumb teams anyways?
00:04:20No way.
00:04:21Totally.
00:04:22I love that show.
00:04:23I watched it when I was sitting at like 2am.
00:04:26This is one of my favorites.
00:04:27It definitely doesn't get the love that it deserves.
00:04:29But I think it's one of the best ones.
00:04:31Really?
00:04:33I never begged you for a sappy romance kind of guy.
00:04:38Looks can be deceiving.
00:04:44The wand of light.
00:04:46So it does exist.
00:04:48Maybe I'm just jaded.
00:04:50It's hard to believe that love like that actually exists in real life.
00:04:53Why not?
00:04:54We're witches.
00:04:55Monsters and magic exist in our world.
00:04:58Why can't true love?
00:05:01I am Lili, by the way.
00:05:04Lili Collins.
00:05:08Eric Phillips.
00:05:09Nice to meet you, Lili Collins.
00:05:12Damn.
00:05:13He's hot.
00:05:14And I'm in Vegas.
00:05:15I deserve a little fun.
00:05:17Well, Eric Phillips.
00:05:19I'll be in the poker room tonight.
00:05:21Maybe I'll see you there.
00:05:23Maybe.
00:05:42Okay Svenson.
00:05:44Don't fuck this up.
00:05:59Eric, motherfucking Svensson.
00:06:01Excuse me?
00:06:02You ghost me for three months after sleeping with me,
00:06:04and you think you can sit there and act like nothing happened?
00:06:07I think you've got me confused with someone else.
00:06:09Don't gaslight me, Svensson.
00:06:11I know exactly who you are.
00:06:22Do you know who she is?
00:06:29I think she's got me confused with someone else.
00:06:43Are you nervous?
00:06:45Not at all.
00:06:47You can always fold, you know.
00:06:49I'd hate to send you home empty-handed.
00:06:53Not a chance.
00:06:55I'm here to win.
00:06:57You sure?
00:06:58Seems like your focus is somewhere else.
00:07:01Oh.
00:07:02I am very focused.
00:07:07Are you guys done making Google eyes at each other, or what?
00:07:12You're full of shit, Phillips.
00:07:13I call.
00:07:15Yeah, there is no way that you have this.
00:07:18But don't worry.
00:07:20I'll let you go another round.
00:07:22Once I beat you.
00:07:23Actually, I think I'm about to hit the jackpot.
00:07:29Eric?
00:07:50I have wanted to do that since I saw you by the pool in your bikini.
00:07:53Eric, everyone can see.
00:07:56Eric, do you want me to stop?
00:08:13That's it.
00:08:14Let him watch.
00:08:16Give him a show.
00:08:28Wait, please don't stop.
00:08:31Use your words.
00:08:33Tell me what you want.
00:08:35I want your tongue inside me.
00:08:37Please.
00:08:38That's a good girl.
00:08:45Eric.
00:08:49Wait.
00:08:50Wait, I think I'm gonna...
00:08:53Was that some kind of vision?
00:08:57No.
00:08:59That was from him.
00:09:08Lucky son of a bitch.
00:09:11Beginner Lux.
00:09:12Let's see you do it again next hand.
00:09:14No can do.
00:09:16I have a date with a very pretty lady.
00:09:24Why do I have the feeling that you're not exactly as you present, Eric Phillips?
00:09:31It is Vegas.
00:09:33Isn't that part of the fun?
00:09:46You know, it wasn't very nice of you to tease me with your strap of your dress during our game.
00:09:53Hmm.
00:09:54It's very distracting.
00:09:57Well, you know, it wasn't very nice of you to send me that little vision during our game.
00:10:02I just wanted to give you a little sneak preview.
00:10:14Eric, there are people.
00:10:16And if you're quiet, they won't see you.
00:10:21I should stop.
00:10:22This wasn't how the plan was supposed to go.
00:10:25You know, you were right before.
00:10:26I'm not who I say I am.
00:10:29And who out there is exactly as they present.
00:10:32But I am...
00:10:33Look, I don't care who you are outside of this.
00:10:36For once in my life, I...
00:10:39I just want to forget about everything.
00:10:42Just live in the moment.
00:10:44And I think you can help me to do that.
00:10:55Remove the camouflage.
00:10:57I want you to see you.
00:10:59The real you.
00:11:02But then you'll know who I am.
00:11:04I already know who you are.
00:11:07The real you wants to let go.
00:11:15No one's ever looked at me like that.
00:11:18He really wants me.
00:11:20The real me.
00:11:21Fuck.
00:11:23You are gorgeous.
00:11:27I want you, Eric.
00:11:30I need you.
00:11:35Spread your legs for me.
00:11:41Keep your eyes open.
00:11:44I want you to watch yourself come.
00:11:47All over my fingers.
00:11:53Keep your eyes open.
00:12:00I thought you said that they couldn't hear me.
00:12:02They can't if you stay quiet.
00:12:05Keep your eyes open.
00:12:06Or else I'll stop.
00:12:10Keep your eyes open.
00:12:11I can't.
00:12:11That's a good girl.
00:12:13Look down at my head.
00:12:19Oh my god.
00:12:20They hurt me.
00:12:21They can't.
00:12:22Just relax.
00:12:25I can't.
00:12:26Eric.
00:12:28It's okay.
00:12:29Don't think.
00:12:31Just tell.
00:12:33Tell me what you've heard.
00:12:34It's so good, but I need more, Eric.
00:12:42You feel so good.
00:12:44I can't wait to put my mouth on you.
00:12:48It's here, I'm gonna make you come.
00:12:51I'll get you there.
00:12:53I'm gonna go down.
00:12:55I want you to scream my name when you come.
00:12:58Five.
00:13:00Four.
00:13:01Three.
00:13:03Two.
00:13:07One.
00:13:27I can't believe I just came on his hand.
00:13:30In front of other people.
00:13:33I think this is your floor.
00:13:41I'll be at the fountain tomorrow at eight o'clock.
00:13:45If you decide that you want more.
00:13:47See you there.
00:13:58How did he know what floor I was on?
00:14:05So you've told me all about your wild sister things that she's done?
00:14:09Mm-hmm.
00:14:11What about you?
00:14:13Me?
00:14:15I'm the responsible sister.
00:14:17The boring one, if you will.
00:14:20And...
00:14:21I do what I'm supposed to do, with all the rules and all that good stuff.
00:14:25I don't believe you. I mean, I know how you are in an elevator.
00:14:29Oh, come on.
00:14:33Come on. It's Vegas. Let me be your bad influence, just for tonight.
00:14:41So, any bad ideas?
00:14:47Just one.
00:14:54What are you doing?
00:15:12No games. Just fuck me already.
00:15:15I thought I would try to woo you first.
00:15:16Consider me wooed.
00:15:18Then we could take it slow?
00:15:19Oh, your lips say one thing, but your body says something else.
00:15:35Wait.
00:15:37Shit. I almost lost my cool. I gotta remember the plan.
00:15:44Oh, my God. I can't believe I just did that. That was so embarrassing. This is why I don't do
00:15:49crazy shit. That was way too much.
00:15:52Hey, you're never too much.
00:15:54You don't understand, Eric. Okay, if my family saw me do any of that, they would freak out.
00:15:59Tonight's not about your family. Tonight's about you. Remember? Forget what everyone else has told you to do.
00:16:06Do something that you... Do something that you want to do. Something that you want to do. Something no one
00:16:09would expect.
00:16:10Maybe he's right. I've spent my whole life doing what my family's told me to do.
00:16:18For once in my life, I'm doing something for myself.
00:16:22She spotted the chapel. Just like I planned.
00:16:29So are you, uh, you sure about this marriage thing?
00:16:32It's only temporary. Okay, and old magic is weak. The hand fast bond will probably only last till the morning.
00:16:39So, are you ready for a holy matrimony?
00:16:42I'm ready if you're ready.
00:16:44Ah!
00:16:45Come on!
00:16:49Let's go.
00:16:55You nervous?
00:16:58Just never been married before.
00:17:07Um, it's my sister. I need to take this.
00:17:09Oh, yeah. Take your time.
00:17:11Elvis here wants me to pick out a hand fast bouquet.
00:17:14Hey, mama. Let's get some flowers for you. Come on.
00:17:15Let's do it.
00:17:17You need to come home. Now.
00:17:19I can't. Secret.
00:17:21Eric, Dad's up to something.
00:17:22He invited Fitzgerald to the house and made me dress up.
00:17:26He looks at me weird. It really freaked me out.
00:17:28You were my big brother, E. I need you. Here.
00:17:32Listen, I can't leave right now.
00:17:33But I promise, when I come home, I'll have enough power to get rid of Dad forever. Okay?
00:17:41Hey.
00:17:43Is everything okay?
00:17:46Yeah.
00:17:48Yeah, it's fine.
00:17:51You, uh, you sure about this?
00:17:54It's only temporary.
00:17:56Come on, we'll be laughing about this for years.
00:18:02Let's go.
00:18:18Right.
00:18:18Only temporary.
00:18:20Unless you get hand fasted under a full moon,
00:18:23then the hand fast bond is nearly unbreakable.
00:18:26But she doesn't know that.
00:18:27And once she does,
00:18:29she'll hate me.
00:18:31Is your sister okay?
00:18:33Is something wrong?
00:18:36Nothing's wrong.
00:18:37We're about to get married in Vegas by Ovis.
00:18:40What could possibly be wrong?
00:18:43All right, you ready to rock and roll,
00:18:45you hunk-a-hunk-a-hot couple?
00:18:47Let's get this show started.
00:18:49Woo!
00:18:50Woo!
00:18:50Woo!
00:18:52Woo!
00:18:53Woo!
00:18:54Woo!
00:18:55Woo!
00:18:55Woo!
00:18:57Woo!
00:19:16This is it.
00:19:18I have the Wand of Light.
00:19:20The most powerful object in the world.
00:19:22If I leave now,
00:19:24I could use it to take control away from my father.
00:19:27Set Siegret and I free.
00:19:35But I already betrayed her once.
00:19:37I can't believe it.
00:19:40I can't believe it.
00:19:43I can't believe it.
00:19:47I can't believe it.
00:19:53I can't believe it.
00:19:54I can't believe it.
00:19:55I can't believe it.
00:19:57I can't believe it.
00:19:57I can't believe it.
00:19:58I can't believe it.
00:19:58I can't believe it.
00:19:59I can't believe it.
00:19:59I can't believe it.
00:19:59I can't believe it.
00:20:00I can't believe it.
00:20:01I can't believe it.
00:20:02I can't believe it.
00:20:03I can't believe it.
00:20:05I can't believe it.
00:20:19I'll have to get more chocolate strawberries.
00:20:21Be back soon.
00:20:32It's only temporary.
00:20:34Okay, and old magic is weak.
00:20:35The hand fast bond will probably only last till the morning.
00:20:38Hmm, that's weird.
00:20:41The mark should have worn off by now.
00:20:51So, did you marry the girl yet?
00:20:57No, it's...
00:20:59complicated.
00:21:00Complicated?
00:21:02Or distracted?
00:21:03You were sent there to marry the Sherwood heir
00:21:06and bind her power to this family.
00:21:08Not to play house.
00:21:10You're a Svensson.
00:21:11Act like one.
00:21:12Eric is a Svensson?
00:21:16I married my family's worst enemy?
00:21:18I don't need you to tell me what I am.
00:21:21Then stop hesitating.
00:21:23If the rumors about the wand of light are true,
00:21:25we might catch an even bigger prize.
00:21:28So hurry up and marry the Sherwood girl
00:21:30and then bring her to me, idiot.
00:21:42He's been lying this whole time.
00:21:49I need to tell her the truth.
00:21:53You lying piece of troll shit!
00:21:56You didn't want me.
00:21:57You just wanted the fucking wand, didn't you?
00:22:01I didn't even know the wand existed until I met you.
00:22:03You still lied to me, Eric.
00:22:05You knew I was a Sherwood from the start.
00:22:07That's why you gave me a fake fucking name, right?
00:22:09Okay, I did, but that was before we...
00:22:11You lied before, before you decided to mess with me?
00:22:13Get your dick wet before you ruin me and my family forever?
00:22:17I'm not trying to ruin your family.
00:22:18I'm trying to save mine.
00:22:19Oh, I know all about you, Svensons.
00:22:22All you do is lie and cheat and steal
00:22:25to get whatever you fucking want.
00:22:27I should have caught it at the poker table,
00:22:29but your little tricks won't work on me this time.
00:22:32The hand fast mark, it'll fade.
00:22:35Just like you, just like whatever this was.
00:22:38The hand fast wasn't a trick.
00:22:39Not that part.
00:22:41Not with you.
00:22:42It doesn't matter, Eric.
00:22:45You will never, ever get the wand.
00:22:49Lily, what?
00:22:51When this fades, Eric,
00:22:53I will never have to see you again.
00:23:08So, that didn't happen.
00:23:12My older sister, Effie, told me that the mark would fade a week later.
00:23:17Then a month went by.
00:23:20Then, well...
00:23:25See, this is where you don't fuck with old magic.
00:23:28It's all fun and games, so there's a full moon.
00:23:30Then it's the most powerful magic in the universe.
00:23:37Apparently, getting a hand fast married under a full moon creates a bond that's almost unbreakable.
00:23:44Also, apparently, the almost part means that both people have to perform the divorce spell.
00:23:51I tried calling, texting, sending flying monkeys, nothing, not a single word from my beloved husband for half a year.
00:24:12Yes, I still sleep with a wand under my pillow.
00:24:16The emotional ass whooping I got from my mother for getting hand fasted to a stranger was bad enough.
00:24:21No one can ever find out that I almost lost the wand, too.
00:24:26I just need one night to sleep without thinking about him.
00:24:54Who are you?
00:24:55What do you want with the wand of light?
00:24:58Nothing. I'm just here to collect my payday from my client once I bring him that wand.
00:25:04Payday? Someone sent you! Who?
00:25:08I'm afraid I can't break client confidentiality. Sorry, sweetie.
00:25:13Well, I'm afraid that you chose the wrong witch to fuck with tonight.
00:25:29Be wise not to fight back, witch. You're in over your head.
00:25:34I'd rather die than let you take the wand.
00:25:39Suit yourself.
00:25:44Suit yourself.
00:25:53What the fuck?
00:25:55What the fuck?
00:26:08Get off me! She has the wand!
00:26:11I got the wand. I'll get the rest later.
00:26:16No!
00:26:20You are the reason I lost the wand.
00:26:23Who are you?
00:26:29The hand fast mark.
00:26:34Hello, wife.
00:26:35Miss me?
00:26:39What are you doing here?
00:26:41Oh, well, you know I thought I'd spice up our marriage, do a little role-playing, but it looks like
00:26:45you were more into bondage.
00:26:47I didn't know you were so kinky.
00:26:48Shut up!
00:26:52You should be thanking me. I did just save your house.
00:26:55Thanking you? You're the reason my family's most powerful heirloom is gone. How did you even find me?
00:27:02Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You were trying to steal the wand too, weren't you?
00:27:07Maybe.
00:27:09Oh, you slimy, tote-faced motherfucker! Okay, first you tricked me into marrying you, then you ghost me for six
00:27:17months, and now you come in here like a goddamn fucking cartoon burglar and try to take my wand!
00:27:23Look, I was just gonna borrow it!
00:27:25Yeah, for one of your dirty, no-good Spence and schemes?
00:27:28I-I-I just-I need it, okay? It's-it's the only way that we can be free.
00:27:36Look, my dad doesn't know about our marriage. Not yet. But he knows about the wand. If he gets a
00:27:41hold of it, he's gonna sell it to the highest bidder.
00:27:43Whoever controls the wand has the power to take over the world. Or worse.
00:27:47No! Worse than tricking me into marrying you?
00:27:50I told you that that wasn't a trick.
00:27:52It doesn't matter, Eric. She has the wand! That shadow thief or whatever! And that's your fault!
00:27:59I can get it back!
00:28:02Look, I know I don't deserve it, but just give me one more chance. I can get the wand back,
00:28:08take care of what I need to take care of, and then I'll do the divorce spell.
00:28:12Please, Lili, just give me one more chance. Please.
00:28:15I can't trust him. I shouldn't. But my gut tells me, this time, it might be different.
00:28:31No. No, we're both gonna go get it. It is my job as a Sherwood heir to set things right,
00:28:37so I don't let the wand fall into the wrong hands.
00:28:40And you really think after Vegas, I would let you go alone to find the most powerful magical object in
00:28:46the entire world?
00:28:48Uh, fair. Uh, whatever you want. Lili.
00:28:52God, I hate when you call me that.
00:28:54Alright, I'll call you wife. And you can call me whatever you want. Eric, husband, daddy...
00:29:02Shut up! Don't call me wife either. After we get this wand, we will do the divorce spell. Got it?
00:29:07You're breaking my heart. I mean, you're the better half of my soul.
00:29:13Yeah, you're not gonna sweet-talk your way into my pants again, Eric.
00:29:16We'll see.
00:29:22Now, the wand forbids a direct tracking spell, so we have to track its trail.
00:29:27That's a ten-mile radius. We'll never find the wand inside that circle.
00:29:30Well, with the tracking spell, I get a location, okay? It doesn't last long, though. We'll have like three or
00:29:36four days.
00:29:37Well, lucky for you. I already packed your bags.
00:29:42Consider it our official honeymoon.
00:29:48After this, we're done. You got it? Don't go back on your words, Vincent. We will do the divorce spell.
00:29:54Cross my heart. Hope to die.
00:30:15You imagined a car here?
00:30:17This isn't just any car.
00:30:25This is Bessie.
00:30:27You really expect us to track down the most powerful, magical object in the world? In a car without a
00:30:33roof?
00:30:34I mean, if you're not comfortable, I could go by myself. If you trust me not to run away.
00:30:45Hmm.
00:30:47I wouldn't trust you with a half-eaten newt muffin. I was gonna throw in the trash.
00:30:53Then your chariot awaits. Wife.
00:31:15Well, you've been driving all day, and she hasn't said a single word.
00:31:21Well, you've been driving all day, and she hasn't said a single word.
00:31:31You're Svensson. You don't play house with sheriffs.
00:31:33Wait, why are we turning? We don't have any time. We have to find the wand, Eric.
00:31:39That circle is getting further and further away. Plus, it's getting dark. We need to stay somewhere for the night.
00:31:44Why don't you just let me drive?
00:31:45Because you haven't slept either. Plus, no one can drive Bessie but me.
00:31:51What is with guys and cars? Jesus.
00:31:53No. I mean literally, no one else can drive Bessie.
00:31:57My great-great-grandfather put a hex on all of our possessions. Anyone that's non-blood related can't touch it.
00:32:03The Svensons like to hoard their treasures.
00:32:06Your family has issues.
00:32:08Finally. Something we can agree on.
00:32:11Was this your plan all along?
00:32:13Make me feel bad for you because your family's evil so I get all ooey gooey and forget about the
00:32:17divorce?
00:32:18Not everyone in my family is evil.
00:32:21Yeah. Okay.
00:32:35You cross this wall or do anything to piss me off more than you already have, then you do not
00:32:40even want to imagine the hex I'm going to put on you.
00:32:48I promise, no funny business. Peaky promise.
00:33:13Good night to you too.
00:33:15Wow.
00:33:28In Vegas.
00:33:30You said you had a sister, right?
00:33:34Yeah.
00:33:36Sigrid.
00:33:38She didn't ask to be a Svensson.
00:33:41She's different than us.
00:33:43Better.
00:33:45Not like you?
00:33:46No.
00:33:49Not like me.
00:33:50But you already know that.
00:34:07Not like you're listening to a piece of shit.
00:34:24You're wrong.
00:34:25It's your fault.
00:34:26It's your fault, you're wrong.
00:34:31It's your fault.
00:34:35You're right.
00:34:36It's your fault.
00:34:37Now those two hearts.
00:34:43Good morning, wife.
00:34:46I told you not to call me.
00:35:04You were saying something?
00:35:07What?
00:35:10How did you know I was awake?
00:35:13The husband always knows.
00:35:21Well, if you don't mind, I'm going to shower.
00:35:27No peeking.
00:35:32Cross my heart.
00:35:34Hope to die.
00:35:42I need to get a grip.
00:35:44Some washboard abs and a cocky grin aren't enough to make me fall for him.
00:35:49I just need this one time to take the edge off.
00:36:02I remember he touched me like this in Vegas.
00:36:18Look, I'm so close.
00:36:20I'm so close.
00:36:36Are you ready?
00:36:42Eric!
00:36:57You said that you wouldn't look.
00:37:01I don't need to look to know what you were doing while thinking about me.
00:37:07God, you are so full of yourself.
00:37:09Do I know what I heard?
00:37:11Say another word and I'll turn you into a frog.
00:37:14Mom, what are you thinking about me?
00:37:18What are you thinking about that time in Vegas where I ate you out in the shower?
00:37:23You came so hard, and you came so hard, you almost crushed my skull between your thighs.
00:37:29I think about those times a lot.
00:37:32Yeah, well, I don't think about them at all.
00:37:35Yeah, well, I don't think about them at all.
00:38:00You won't belong for yet.
00:38:02It's on a need-to-know basis.
00:38:05Oh, don't you think I need to know?
00:38:08I am your wife, after all.
00:38:10Oh, now you remember you're my wife.
00:38:13Funny how you only remember that when it's convenient for you.
00:38:15I remember every time I think about how badly I fucked up in Vegas.
00:38:19So all I am is a mistake.
00:38:20If I remember right, you're the one that suggested that we get hand-fast married.
00:38:24Obviously, that was before I knew about all your bullshit and lies.
00:38:29Duty and responsibility might not be a big deal in your family, but in mine, it's huge.
00:38:34See? There you go again.
00:38:36Always worried about what your family wants.
00:38:38It's never about what you want.
00:38:39I follow the rules because I have to, Eric.
00:38:42If I don't, I end up in situations like this.
00:38:45Did you ever stop to think that maybe that's unfair?
00:38:48That maybe your ideas and their ideas are bullshit?
00:38:52You ever think of that?
00:38:54Spoken like a true Spinson.
00:38:56Well, you're a Spinson, too, sweetheart.
00:38:58Not much longer, I can tell you that.
00:39:19I want to get some coffee.
00:39:21It's getting dark.
00:39:22You really think you should be alone?
00:39:23So now that we're married, you think you have to babysit me, too?
00:39:30I want to get some coffee.
00:39:31Just don't take too long.
00:39:35You got her in the car or what?
00:39:38Who?
00:39:38Don't play done with me, boy.
00:39:40The little Sherwood witch you married forgot to tell me about.
00:39:46You thought I wouldn't find out, huh?
00:39:48You did a good job of hiding it, I'll give you that.
00:39:51Maybe you are my son, after all, huh?
00:39:54What's the end game here?
00:39:56You said you just needed to get the Sherwood's wand so you could pay off your debts.
00:39:59What does she have to do with it?
00:40:00Because I'm not an idiot like you.
00:40:03I'll finally have all the leverage I need over the Sherwood family.
00:40:07When I tell them their pretty little heir is my new daughter-in-law.
00:40:12And then it'll be our family that gets to call the shots in the magic world.
00:40:16So you just want to use her?
00:40:18Like you use mom?
00:40:19Like you're using your own daughter.
00:40:21This is not a request, boy.
00:40:24Bring the girl and the wand to me or you will be stripped of your name.
00:40:28Your magic, everything.
00:40:29And your sister, she'll be the one paying the price for your mistakes.
00:40:44This isn't right.
00:40:45The trail should still be here.
00:40:48Would you like some coffee, Miss Sherwood?
00:40:50Yeah, thank you.
00:40:52Wait, how did you know my...
00:40:54You.
00:40:58But the map said that...
00:41:00That's cute.
00:41:02You think that dusty old map could track me?
00:41:09That wand is mine.
00:41:14Not anymore, it's not.
00:41:15And sadly, my employers need your powers too.
00:41:19Employer?
00:41:22Hold still.
00:41:23This will only hurt a bit.
00:41:25No, stop.
00:41:26Stop!
00:41:28Oh, my God.
00:41:31No.
00:41:34Get away from her!
00:41:40Eric, the wand!
00:41:45Oh, my God.
00:41:46Oh, my God.
00:41:47Oh, my God.
00:41:47Oh, my God.
00:41:48Oh, my God.
00:41:49Oh, my God.
00:41:53My magic.
00:41:55She took half of my magic, Eric.
00:41:57You're okay.
00:41:58I got you.
00:41:59I'm okay.
00:42:00You're okay.
00:42:03I don't understand.
00:42:05The map said that the wand was miles away.
00:42:08What did she want with my powers?
00:42:10Thief must have found some way to bypass the tracking spell.
00:42:13She can't have gone far.
00:42:14Won't find her.
00:42:15Lay low for now.
00:42:16Hey, Eric, stop the car.
00:42:17I can't breathe.
00:42:19I can't breathe.
00:42:20Okay.
00:42:29Okay.
00:42:29Hey, hey, hey.
00:42:31Look at me.
00:42:31Look at me.
00:42:32You're okay.
00:42:33You're okay.
00:42:33Just breathe.
00:42:34I got you.
00:42:36You're safe.
00:42:37I thought she was going to kill me, Eric.
00:42:41I'm not going to let that happen.
00:42:43Not while I'm breathing.
00:42:47I'm okay.
00:42:48I'm not going to let that happen.
00:42:57I still hate you.
00:43:01If you hated me, you wouldn't let me touch you like this.
00:43:05This doesn't change anything.
00:43:08It's only scratching an itch.
00:43:10Once we get the wand, and we do the divorce spell, and we forget each other existed.
00:43:21Is that what you want, Lily?
00:43:23You want to forget how good I make you feel?
00:43:26You want to forget I'm the only person in the whole fucking world who can make you feel this way?
00:43:36Eric.
00:43:39Wait, wait.
00:43:40Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:43:47We can't do this.
00:43:50This is what goes wrong between us.
00:43:52We can't make that mistake again.
00:43:54We have a job to do, Eric.
00:43:56Let's get the wand.
00:43:57That's it.
00:43:59And then what?
00:44:01You know what happens after, Eric.
00:44:04We do the divorce spell.
00:44:05And we never see each other again.
00:44:08And we never see each other again.
00:44:39Smells like fresh baked pastries, cinnamon, old magic.
00:44:48I should have known.
00:44:51It's a Seder's Inn.
00:44:53That spell.
00:44:55Noman-inhabitus smell.
00:44:58It's woven into places like this where it couples.
00:45:01You mean Orchise?
00:45:05Seder's are the horniest bastards in the lone world.
00:45:08It lowers any fear, doubt, shame, currency, or deepest desires without any fear of judgment or consequences.
00:45:28Eric, don't.
00:45:31I'm trying not to.
00:45:41Eric, don't.
00:45:44I'm trying not to.
00:45:51The spell doesn't create desire.
00:45:55It lets go of the lies.
00:45:57It tells us what we really want.
00:45:59What I want doesn't matter.
00:46:02It matters in here.
00:46:05Tell me what you really want.
00:46:07You can say goodbye.
00:46:09Go our separate ways.
00:46:11Or you can tell me you want this.
00:46:14You want me.
00:46:18Tell me to stay.
00:46:22Stay here.
00:46:24Please.
00:46:24Please.
00:46:25God, what is this?
00:46:27Is this just the magic?
00:46:29Hurry.
00:46:30Oh.
00:46:32It's not the spell.
00:46:34It's freedom.
00:46:36Oh.
00:46:37You can hear the outside world doesn't matter.
00:46:40Just you.
00:46:41And me.
00:46:43Oh.
00:46:44I shouldn't want this.
00:46:46I shouldn't want this.
00:46:49I shouldn't be doing this.
00:46:53Or this.
00:46:55Be able to share with...
00:46:57To the most respected family of the whole rich world.
00:47:01You definitely shouldn't sound this fucking sexy.
00:47:05To mine.
00:47:07You're the other year.
00:47:09To the share with family.
00:47:12Who are you?
00:47:13I want you, Eric.
00:47:16I need you.
00:47:20Tell me who you are.
00:47:24Lily.
00:47:25Close.
00:47:29But not close.
00:47:32Tonight.
00:47:34Tell me who you are.
00:47:36Your wife.
00:48:01This doesn't change anything.
00:48:03I know.
00:48:05We can have tonight.
00:48:06And then tomorrow we go back to who we are on the outside.
00:48:10Sure.
00:48:11I'll go back to being my bad self.
00:48:13And you can go back to pretending to be a good little witch.
00:48:17Excuse me?
00:48:18Don't deny.
00:48:19Lily.
00:48:20Share with Svenson.
00:48:21I know I'm kind of dork.
00:48:23Naughty thoughts you have.
00:48:26I don't.
00:48:28It's okay to be bad.
00:48:31You don't have to pretend.
00:48:34I don't, huh?
00:48:39You know, just because I have half my magic.
00:48:42Doesn't mean I can't play with you for tonight.
00:48:56Now you're gonna sit there.
00:48:58Like a good little witch.
00:49:06and i'm gonna do whatever i want to you
00:49:18i don't remember packing that lingerie close your eyes
00:49:25eric you're so good for being such a bad boy
00:49:32i'm being properly motivated not to move
00:49:38see how long it takes you to break
00:49:41for you i could stay here forever
00:49:43pretty to think so why don't we test that little theory
00:49:48we're playing a dangerous game
00:49:52all you have to do is admit that i win
00:49:57i'll let you fuck me i'll even let you come wherever you want
00:50:06you can come here
00:50:09or here
00:50:12i'll even let you come in here
00:50:16god
00:50:18come on i know you wanna
00:50:22just admit
00:50:24i'm right
00:50:27fine
00:50:29you win
00:50:30oh what was that
00:50:32you hurt me
00:50:43so what's my prize
00:50:48i could torture you like you did me
00:50:53but i want to be inside you
00:50:55i want to feel you squeeze me tight
00:50:59and take me to bed husband
00:51:04call me that again
00:51:07you want me to fuck you husband
00:51:10yeah
00:51:11fuck me
00:51:20tell me a story
00:51:24like the ones you did in vegas
00:51:27i've got a story about
00:51:29my pet goat gilmore
00:51:31and how he got stuck on a magic carpet
00:51:34or the story about
00:51:36how my sister tried to negotiate with a troll
00:51:39using only redimates
00:51:41i don't know about your family
00:51:47i want to know about you
00:51:50what's it like to be a svensson heir
00:51:52you want the insider info
00:51:56you tell me yours i'll tell you mine
00:51:58you're gonna tell me how wonderful it was
00:52:01growing up as a beloved and blessed sherwood
00:52:07is that what you think being a sherwood is like
00:52:11is that what you think being a sherwood is like
00:52:13all fun and rainbows
00:52:16yeah everybody loves your family
00:52:18that's not true eric
00:52:19there are so many people who would love it if we just disappeared
00:52:23my mother has been shouldering all that responsibility and pressure for decades
00:52:27and next year i will be the head witch in charge
00:52:32everyone's counting on me to do the right thing
00:52:33like eat your fruits and veggies
00:52:35like spending my whole childhood being told that the whole world depended on me
00:52:41like never bothering to have any hopes or dreams
00:52:45because my whole life was planned for me from the very start before i was even born
00:52:50i'm always doing the right thing for the family i was never allowed to even think of doing the wrong
00:52:55thing i couldn't be tired i couldn't be scared i couldn't be angry
00:53:00one mistake and my family loses everything that they've ever worked for
00:53:04if this whole world fades to black it's because i messed up
00:53:08it's because i didn't do a good job
00:53:13i don't think i've ever said that out loud before
00:53:16i'm glad you did
00:53:19your turn
00:53:22growing up a Svinson was
00:53:24a little different
00:53:26the old man likes to say i was
00:53:29the first of his disappointments
00:53:31i guess it's good
00:53:33at least i was first in something
00:53:36i didn't care about disappointing him
00:53:38i just wanted to get away from him
00:53:41i had it all planned out when
00:53:43i turned 16 i'd leave
00:53:45change my name and the Svinson bloodline would die with me
00:53:48my mom died when secret was born
00:53:53my dad used her against me
00:53:56every day since
00:54:03i'm so sorry eric i
00:54:06you shouldn't have asked
00:54:09it's okay
00:54:10the Svinsons have always lived in the Sherwood shadows
00:54:14we are the shadows
00:54:18all you do is shine
00:54:30he always asks me what i want
00:54:34what do you want eric
00:54:39you'd hate me if i told you
00:54:41i mean more than you already do
00:54:46i don't hate you
00:54:49i never did
00:55:25eric something's wrong
00:55:27dad's got visitors
00:55:28a bunch of old guys
00:55:30i don't know who they are
00:55:31he made me play piano for them
00:55:33like some kind of dress up doll
00:55:35it's like freaking me out
00:55:42eric
00:55:43are you safe
00:55:48eric
00:55:49are you safe
00:55:50for now
00:55:52all those weird old men lived last night
00:55:55and i hexed my door so no one could get in
00:55:58don't let anyone in
00:55:59if dad tries to get you to play with any of those weird old men
00:56:01just
00:56:02i know
00:56:03i'll just do what he says
00:56:05i always do
00:56:07i'm so sick of this e
00:56:09what if he actually does make me marry one of those guys
00:56:12i'm never gonna let that happen
00:56:14all right
00:56:15look
00:56:16i'm close to getting the wand of light
00:56:18the wand of light
00:56:21like
00:56:21the one from the fairy tales
00:56:23you can't
00:56:25tell dad
00:56:26secret
00:56:26when i get the wand
00:56:28be ready for my call
00:56:30i have a plan
00:56:31i barely know basic spells
00:56:35i don't know
00:56:35you can
00:56:37i know you can
00:56:39the time is right
00:56:40you'll be ready
00:56:47all handed
00:57:07filling up bessie
00:57:09meet me downstairs
00:57:10when you're ready
00:57:19oh my god
00:57:22why do you and mom always do that
00:57:23a bit high strung aren't you sis
00:57:26i was just in the middle of thinking
00:57:29yeah and going by your aura
00:57:31i can guess about who
00:57:33very much giving post orgasmic afterglow
00:57:36oh yeah well you and your little aura reading
00:57:38can go jump in a lake
00:57:40oh aren't we feisty this morning
00:57:42your super hot hubby isn't around i'm guessing
00:57:45or have you already murdered him after catching his dick
00:57:48i know all the best places tied a body by the way
00:57:52i'm fine effie
00:57:54i know all about eric spenson
00:57:55i'm not stupid
00:57:57and when we get the wand back
00:57:59you mean if you get the wand back
00:58:01we will
00:58:03and when we do
00:58:05we'll do the divorce spell
00:58:06this mark will be gone
00:58:08i'll go home and
00:58:10marry the best person who serves our family alliance
00:58:16it's not fair you know
00:58:18i know i'm the last person who should be saying that
00:58:21because it's not like i can change it
00:58:23but it's not
00:58:26it's just the way it goes
00:58:27right
00:58:28there has to be a way for you to be with who you actually want
00:58:31and be a good heir
00:58:35effie what i want has nothing to do with anything in my life
00:58:39that's fine
00:58:40it's what it means to be a sure what
00:58:43just remember
00:58:44repeating it doesn't make it true
00:58:48all right
00:58:50whatever you say sis
00:58:51you know best
00:58:54i know
00:58:55give everyone a hug from me
00:58:57tell them i'll be back home soon
00:59:08last night was the last time
00:59:10after today we're done
00:59:13if i say that enough times
00:59:15maybe i'll finally believe it
00:59:25i'll tell you about my plan with the wand
00:59:30my family's magic is dying
00:59:32my father's been cashing in on broken promises for years
00:59:35but he holds most of the power
00:59:37and me and see we just get to scraps
00:59:39that's how he controls us
00:59:42if i could use the wand just once
00:59:45i can take his power where you're going to bring
00:59:47i'm not trying to ruin your family
00:59:49i'm trying to save mine
00:59:50it's the only way that we can be free
00:59:54that's what you meant by
00:59:56trying to save your family
00:59:58i was going to tell you the night before
01:00:00i was going to tell you the truth
01:00:02and then i was just going to ask if i could use the wand
01:00:05just once
01:00:06and then i would do whatever you want
01:00:08get a divorce
01:00:10leave you alone
01:00:11forever
01:00:12why didn't you tell me
01:00:16why didn't you tell me that morning
01:00:17maybe things could have been different
01:00:21i would have asked you to stay
01:00:23it's a nice idea
01:00:26but our families have been at war
01:00:27since the beginning of time
01:00:30maybe if we were different people
01:00:33we have different lives
01:00:36this is what it works
01:00:38maybe we can
01:00:40maybe the wand has a spell for that eric
01:00:43a witch can hope
01:00:51what
01:00:53do i have mushrooms growing out of the side of my head
01:00:55why are you looking at me like that
01:01:09wait i'm driving
01:01:11pull over
01:01:31you have got to be kidding me
01:01:39end of the line
01:01:44witches
01:01:46uh
01:01:50uh
01:01:51uh
01:01:52uh
01:01:52uh
01:01:53uh
01:01:54uh
01:01:54uh
01:01:55uh
01:01:55uh
01:01:55uh
01:01:56uh
01:01:59uh
01:02:09uh
01:02:10uh
01:02:28now's not a good time old man
01:02:30well
01:02:30it sounds like my insurance policy worked
01:02:34you
01:02:36you
01:02:36you said the shadow thief
01:02:37of course i said her
01:02:39do you think i would trust you to finish the job
01:02:53demons
01:02:54are very expensive
01:02:55you know
01:02:56but
01:02:57i thought that
01:02:59the sherwood girl's soul
01:03:01in exchange for the wand
01:03:02was a good enough bargain
01:03:04souls of magic users
01:03:07apparently
01:03:07taste better
01:03:09ha ha ha
01:03:11ha ha
01:03:11ha ha ha
01:03:19you said you needed her alive
01:03:20the sherwoods will never pay off your debts if you kill their heir
01:03:23i've reconsidered
01:03:24once i have that wand
01:03:26i will be the most powerful witch alive
01:03:30debts won't matter
01:03:31the stupid sherwoods won't matter
01:03:34and as for the girl
01:03:35well
01:03:35i don't need her breathing
01:03:37to use her power
01:03:38i can always marry sigrid off to form new alliances
01:03:43guess you won't be trapped in a marriage after all son
01:03:47you're welcome
01:03:51go to hell home man
01:04:03take it
01:04:04yep
01:04:08your soul will be delicious
01:04:17i can take dad's magic
01:04:19into him
01:04:20finally be free
01:04:26get off my wife
01:04:27he
01:04:30no
01:04:35You'll pay for that, witch!
01:04:48This isn't the last you'll see of me.
01:04:55Hey, look at you.
01:04:57You didn't run.
01:04:59You're kidding?
01:05:00I'd be a pretty shitty husband if I let my wife's soul get sucked out by a demon.
01:05:07Eric!
01:05:08You can't get rid of me that easily.
01:05:10No, no, no, no, no, no, stay with me.
01:05:12Eric!
01:05:13Oh, my God!
01:05:15Eric, no, no, no, no, no, no, stay with me.
01:05:18Oh, my God!
01:05:20I can't save you, I don't have my powers!
01:05:23I need you to run!
01:05:26You could have saved yourself!
01:05:28I've been saving myself my whole life.
01:05:32I thought I'd try something new.
01:05:36You idiot, you stupid, stupid idiot!
01:05:39Yeah, but I'm your idiot.
01:05:51You took a devil's spell.
01:05:53I had a promise.
01:05:55Now you're free.
01:05:59I don't want to be free.
01:06:02I don't want to be free.
01:06:05I want to be with you.
01:06:07Just keep secrets safe.
01:06:10Safe from my father.
01:06:12Safe from all of it.
01:06:15You know, those days in Vegas...
01:06:20were the best three days of my life.
01:06:22All right, let's get this show started, okay?
01:06:24Whoa, whoa!
01:06:27I love you.
01:06:30I love you, too.
01:06:32I love you, I love you.
01:06:36Eric.
01:06:39No!
01:07:00The Wand of Light has the power to grant its user their deepest desires.
01:07:10Please, please, please.
01:07:21Eric.
01:07:22Please.
01:07:23Please.
01:07:33Lily.
01:07:35Oh my god.
01:07:37You absolute moron.
01:07:42You absolute moron.
01:07:44Be gentle. I was dead for like 10 seconds.
01:07:49You're alive.
01:07:51That is for divorcing me on your literal deathbed, you asshole.
01:07:56I thought I was doing something noble.
01:07:58Something cool.
01:07:59The wand gave you your power back?
01:08:03My mom used to say that the wand's user grants it its deepest desire.
01:08:08I guess it knew what I really wanted.
01:08:11What did you want?
01:08:14You.
01:08:17Don't scare me like that again.
01:08:19Okay.
01:08:20You know, I thought I heard something.
01:08:24But I was bleeding out.
01:08:29Maybe you could say it again.
01:08:35Maybe you could say it again.
01:08:39I love you.
01:08:40You're expensive.
01:08:43That's my girl.
01:08:50Let's go.
01:08:51Let's go.
01:09:03You ready for one last stop?
01:09:07Yeah.
01:09:26Ah.
01:09:28There you are.
01:09:30I knew I could always trust a demon to get the job done.
01:09:35Now, where is my wand?
01:09:38Wait.
01:09:39You're supposed to be dead.
01:09:41Wow.
01:09:42You weren't kidding.
01:09:43He really is evil.
01:09:45I put a barrier around this whole house.
01:09:47It's impossible.
01:09:48There's no way you should be able to be in here.
01:09:50There's always a loophole, old man.
01:09:55Secret.
01:09:56Secret.
01:09:56You ungrateful brat.
01:09:58How dare you betray me like this?
01:10:00Really, Dad?
01:10:01Playing the family card after you almost sold me into child marriage?
01:10:05You ungrateful little pests.
01:10:14You're powerless now, old man.
01:10:17The magic's gone.
01:10:18Forever.
01:10:22You're powerless now, old man.
01:10:28The magic's gone.
01:10:29Forever.
01:10:31Eric.
01:10:32Ordis.
01:10:33Svansson.
01:10:34Release me this instant.
01:10:36That is an order.
01:10:39You can handle it from here, right?
01:10:41Those powers are gone.
01:10:42It doesn't scare me anymore.
01:10:46You ungrateful little brats.
01:10:48You will pay for this.
01:10:49You will both pay for this.
01:10:55Yeah, yeah.
01:10:56Talk soon, Pops.
01:10:57We're gonna hit the road.
01:10:59I said get back here.
01:11:00I said get back here.
01:11:02Get back here.
01:11:03Please don't do this, you little b-
01:11:05No.
01:11:22So, where to now?
01:11:24Should we go and drop off the wand of life?
01:11:27Yeah.
01:11:29But there's something I wanna do first.
01:11:32That sounds ominous.
01:11:35It just so happens that there's another full moon tonight.
01:11:39Leona Sherwood, are you asking me to hand fast marry you?
01:11:45Yeah.
01:11:47I think I am, Eric Svansson.
01:11:50Well, we better hurry.
01:11:51If we're gonna take the wand of light home and make it back in time to the hunk-a-hunk
01:11:55-a wedding chapel of love.
01:11:57I wonder if they have the same Elvis.
01:11:58I sure hope so.
01:12:01But, if we're gonna get hand fast married again, no more secrets this time.
01:12:06So, is there anything you wanna come clean about now?
01:12:09Soon to be again husband?
01:12:13There is one thing.
01:12:16You might wanna buckle up.
01:12:18We're about to go super speed.
01:12:21Bessie could've been going super speed this entire time.
01:12:24You didn't tell me to make our trip last longer, didn't you?
01:12:27You know me so well.
01:12:29Soon to be again wife.
01:12:33Leona Sherwood, will you marry me?
01:12:36And not because of some spell or because it's your duty.
01:12:41But because you want to.
01:12:46Yes, I will.
01:12:47Yes, I will.
01:12:57Ready?
01:12:58Hell yeah.
01:12:59That boy.
01:13:00Yeah.
01:13:03Yeah.
01:13:05Yeah.
01:13:06Yeah.
01:13:07Yeah.
01:13:08Yeah.
01:13:08Yeah.
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