00:00¡Gracias por ver!
00:30I'm on my lunch break, okay?
00:32Willy's never had it.
00:34It's not real.
00:34Well, it was real.
00:35I got sick and all the hair fell out.
00:37How'd you get sick?
00:38I loved a woman that wasn't clean.
00:40Mrs. Santa?
00:41That was her sister.
00:42Oh, no.
00:43But he's gonna get it.
00:44You hear that job?
00:45Where are the reindeer?
00:46I stable them.
00:47Where's the stable?
00:47Next to the shop.
00:48How do they sleep?
00:49Are you messing with me?
00:51There's something about the guy that makes me uneasy.
00:54Maybe there's something I could fire him for.
00:57A man is a sexual being.
00:59Yeah.
01:00Now, a hopeless kid.
01:02Wedgie.
01:03And a Santa nobody liked.
01:06Where?
01:06Part of it.
01:07Where's the rest of it?
01:08Actually, I don't want to know.
01:10On November 21st, put your dukes up.
01:13You gotta learn to stand up for yourself.
01:15Oh, no.
01:16Scream at him.
01:17Ah!
01:17Please.
01:18He is pathetic.
01:19Scream!
01:20Be loud!
01:20Ah!
01:21Oh!
01:23You don't hit in the...
01:25What's wrong with you?
01:26He's just a kid.
01:27Oh!
01:27I told you I didn't want to do this, huh?
01:30Just might discover.
01:32He's a really sweet kid, isn't he?
01:34Yeah, I guess so.
01:35How to be nice.
01:36Good night, Santa.
01:37Good night, Mrs. Santa's sister.
01:41Santa!
01:41Billy Bob Thornton.
01:43So, do you like kids?
01:44What do you think?
01:45I'm some kind of curber or something?
01:46I just mean because you're Santa Claus.
01:49Huh.
01:49Bernie Mac.
01:51Get him out of here.
01:51What do you mean, get him out of here?
01:53I'm a boy.
01:53So, unless you got a forklift handy, maybe you should lend a hand, huh?
01:57Got some lip on you, miss it?
01:59Yeah?
01:59Well, these lips were on your wife last night.
02:01Tony Cox.
02:03Bad Santa.
02:04I beat up some kids today.
02:06But it was for a purpose.
02:07It made me feel good about myself.
02:08You need many years of therapy.
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