00:00There are over 70 million fathers in the U.S.
00:03Inventive fathers, athletic, brave.
00:06But not everyone knows who their father is.
00:09For 40 years, we thought we did, until today.
00:13I wasn't sure who your father was.
00:15How does that work?
00:16It was a crazy 70s.
00:19Monogamy wasn't exactly a priority.
00:22I've always wondered where I got my zest for lovemaking.
00:25Now we know.
00:26Our father's been out there this whole time.
00:30Here we go.
00:32Operation Who's Your Daddy.
00:34The top mission is finding dad.
00:35Submission is going to be having stone crabs.
00:38Mission below that, getting you laid.
00:41Mom actually dated Terry Bradshaw.
00:44Do you remember a woman named Helen Baxter?
00:46Talk about a blast from the past.
00:48She had the tightest ass you've ever seen.
00:51A mouth and that tongue and a set of knockers.
00:54Ball.
00:55Damn near cost us a Super Bowl.
00:57She's our mom.
00:58Why didn't you just stop this foolishness?
01:01This is it.
01:02What are you doing here?
01:03We think we're your sons.
01:04Excuse me for a minute.
01:07There is no way those two jackasses are my kid.
01:10He runs hot, just like you.
01:14Give the man a ride.
01:15He could easily be a serial killer.
01:17Are you a serial killer?
01:18I am not a serial killer.
01:21You just emphasized the word serial.
01:23Like I'm a killer, but I'm not a serial killer.
01:25But that was totally unintentional.
01:26You're still not saying, I promise I'm not a killer.
01:29We can give you a ride, but...
01:31Those aren't too tight, are they?
01:33Almost kill you.
01:34Can't kill you.
01:36Whoa.
01:37Dad.
01:38We got a runner.
01:40You shot dad.
01:41What was that?
01:50I think it was a person.
01:51The universe has a tendency to point in the right direction.
01:54Yes.
01:56Guys, my negro spider senses is tingling.
01:58It's not the Soul Train, guys.
02:04Father figures.
02:05Does the name Helen Baxter ring a bell?
02:08It does more than ring a bell.
02:09She was like a dick whisperer.
02:11She's our mom.
02:12All we did was cut her.
02:14Silly.
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