00:00¡Sobody get over it!
00:12¡Back over! ¡Back over!
00:14¡No!
00:15¡That's how we did it in the 90s, son!
00:19Can't catch my breath, man.
00:20Really? ¿Should I try mouth stuff?
00:21What is this, a Tinder date? Get off of me.
00:24Oh, shit.
00:26Mr. Dante!
00:27I need an ambulance at the Quick Stop.
00:30Saved my life, man.
00:31I wish I had a life worth saving.
00:33What are you talking about?
00:34Sit around and watch the same movies over and over.
00:37I always thought you could have made a cool movie.
00:38You're right.
00:39I'm living on borrowed time.
00:41No more watching movies.
00:43I'm gonna make a movie!
00:48What's the movie gonna be about?
00:49It's about him working here.
00:51Meta.
00:51Everything in the script is something either me or someone I know said.
00:54I'm not even supposed to be here today.
00:57Maybe Jay and Silent Bob could be characters.
00:59Jay and Silent Bob are like C-3PO and R2-D2.
01:02They've been here since the first movie, which was the last time they were cool.
01:06But they've been with the franchise so long, they still give them cameos and put them on the lunchboxes.
01:10Snoochie Boochies!
01:11Please tell me why!
01:16I believe in you.
01:17You should put in that stuff you used to say about the Death Star contract you used to say.
01:20Get sued by Disney.
01:22No way.
01:22Sleeper with a close eye.
01:25Now that's what I call oxy!
01:27Yeah!
01:27Take off your pants.
01:30Sleeper with a close eye.
01:33Uh, what the hell is this?
01:35I added a scene where you get shot.
01:37I'm not letting you kill me off in the third act.
01:39What if there's a sequel?
01:40A sequel?
01:41What am I, a hack?
01:48I think it needs more weed.
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