00:00Progressive and conservative, capitalist and communist, oppressor and oppressed, rich and
00:04poor, U.S. and China, U.S. and Russia, Russia and Ukraine, Israel and Palestine, Israel
00:08and Iran, U.S. and Iran, U.S. and Israel and Iran. All in binaries. At least they're presented
00:16to us in terms of binaries. Here's this issue. What do you think? What side do you want?
00:21Come on, where do you stand? Who do you stand with? In my family, well, my family wouldn't
00:31exist with that kind of approach. My grandfather's one, a Pakistani Muslim who grew up in the middle
00:38of the Indo-Pakistani War of 1947. The other, a Jewish refugee of the Holocaust, met many
00:45times over the course of their lives. As you might imagine, they disagreed on a great many
00:51things. And yet, one of the main memories I have of them growing up was seeing them sitting
00:58together at a coffee table, discussing everything under the sun. And when they weren't in close
01:06proximity, I remember hearing their voices over the phone, as they called my parents, always
01:10remembering at the end of each call to ask about the other, how they were doing, what
01:15were they up to. Of course, there are many differences that they never resolved. But still,
01:22they acknowledged each other, they cared for each other, they stayed in contact and they
01:25debated with each other. Their vast disparity in life experience, viewpoints, ideology, faith
01:30and beliefs. A point of contention, yes, but not a point of division. My life begins with
01:37something that could be the start of a joke. And it goes like this. A Christian, a Muslim,
01:46and a Jew walk into a bar. I know historically, the setup is a little bit dicey, but this time,
01:57this time was a little bit different. This time, the Christian married the Muslim, and they
02:02had a daughter. That daughter grew up Christian until she met the Jew, converted to Judaism,
02:08married the Jew, and had a son. Twenty-two years later, that son is standing here with
02:14all of you graduating from Harvard University. I am a proud Jew. I'm also the proud grandson of a
02:31Christian and the proud grandson of a Muslim. But that isn't a contradiction in any sense of the word.
02:38It's proof of a concept. And that concept is what I want to talk to you all about today. Because
02:43my
02:43family taught me something I think this world could really use right now. Which is that the counter
02:48to division isn't necessarily agreement. It's understanding. Our world today, all the way from
02:57the global stage to right here at Harvard, has been split into two sides. There are two sides to every
03:03story, of course. Only two sides. Two sides to every conflict, argument, disagreement. Good and bad.
03:12Give and take. Right and left. Progressive and conservative. Capitalist and communist. Oppressor
03:18and oppressed. Rich and poor. U.S. and China. U.S. and Russia. Russia and Ukraine. Israel and Palestine.
03:23Israel and Iran. U.S. and Iran. U.S. and Israel in Iran. All in binaries. At least they're presented
03:31to us in
03:32terms of binaries. Here's this issue. What do you think? What side do you want? Come on. Where do you
03:38stand? Who do you stand with? In my family, well, my family wouldn't exist with that kind of approach.
03:49My grandfather's one, a Pakistani Muslim, who grew up in the middle of the Indo-Pakistani War of 1947.
03:55The other, a Jewish refugee of the Holocaust, met many times over the course of their lives.
04:03As you might imagine, they disagreed on a great many things. And yet, one of the main memories I
04:11have of them growing up was seeing them sitting together at a coffee table discussing everything
04:17under the sun. And when they weren't in close proximity, I remember hearing their voices over
04:23the phone, as they called my parents, always remembering at the end of each call to ask about
04:28the other, how they were doing, what were they up to. Of course, there are many differences that they
04:34never resolved. But still, they acknowledged each other, they cared for each other, they stayed in
04:40contact, and they debated with each other. Their vast disparity in life experience, viewpoints,
04:45ideology, faith, and beliefs. A point of contention, yes, but not a point of division.
04:51And yet, somewhere in between their generation and ours, something in the conversation shifted.
04:59The debates got louder, the noise got louder, the listening stopped, it got harder. On the news,
05:06on your timeline, at the dinner table, people speaking without listening, people arguing,
05:11having already decided their own allegiances, people debating not to listen, understand, or to learn,
05:17but to win, to humiliate, to be right. And somewhere along the way, the person sitting across
05:25the table stopped being a person and became an obstacle. Now, some would say that there are,
05:32in fact, people in this world for whom understanding is neither owed or even worth the attempt. People whose
05:37very irredeemable actions or beliefs place them beyond the reach of dialogue, people who indeed
05:42have become nothing more than obstacles to the greater good. And maybe that's true. Well,
05:51my grandfathers survived the atrocities of war and worse, and they knew better than anyone that people
05:59can do monstrous things. They also knew the most terrifying fact of all, which is that the people
06:06doing those monstrous things, they were human. Not forgivable, not necessarily redeemable, but human.
06:15Terrifyingly so. And it's precisely because of that human capacity that understanding them mattered.
06:21Dialogue still mattered. Not necessarily dialogue in the sense of extending grace or providing a platform,
06:27but again, understanding. Asking, how did they get to this point? How did they reach this conclusion?
06:34Why do they believe this? Asking these questions in this context holds a light up to the darkest parts
06:41of what it means to be human. And as such, we have to grapple with them. But such questions, necessary
06:50questions, important questions, are not only reserved for the darkest parts of human history.
06:56If such questions of understanding, why do they believe this? If such questions of understanding
07:03matter that much at that extreme of humanity, how much more do they matter for the people sitting
07:11around you right now? For that family member at Thanksgiving that you stopped bringing certain
07:17topics up around. For that person on the internet that says things from a viewpoint that seems kind
07:23of unimaginable sometimes. For that student in section that you smiled at once and said,
07:29interesting point, and then went back to your dorm and complained about to your roommate.
07:34Or for that one friend that you started to phase out because they said some things once that just
07:39didn't sit quite right with you. Take about eight billion of those people, put them together,
07:47and you get our world. Many of us who come to Harvard have dreams of changing the world,
07:52of leaving an impact. But you cannot change a world that you refuse to understand, to talk to.
07:59You cannot convince someone of something if you do not understand them first. Peace through understanding
08:04can survive conflict, while peace through agreement lasts only as long as everyone keeps agreeing.
08:11In most cases, understanding is difficult. Sometimes you have to fight for it. Sometimes you have to
08:18fight yourself and your own beliefs first before you can truly achieve it. It takes effort. My grandfathers
08:26knew that. But they chose to try anyway. So as we all go out into an increasingly troubled world,
08:36and divided world, I want to leave you all with one simple practice. Whenever you meet someone you
08:43disagree with, state your case, yes. Stand up for what you believe in, absolutely. But also ask the other
08:51person about their beliefs. Ask them how they got there. Place yourself in their shoes and ask,
08:57why do I believe this? Listen like you might be wrong. That is not a weakness or betrayal of your
09:03own ideals. That is the hardest and most important thing you can do in a world that is constantly telling
09:09you, pick a side. I told you my life begins like a joke. Well, my Muslim grandfather was buried facing
09:19Mecca.
09:21My Jewish grandfather was buried in accordance with Jewish law. My Christian grandmother was buried
09:27with the cross. In a way, the punchline never really came. There was no resolution to the setup. They
09:35were all very stubborn. And they held onto their own ideals and traditions until the very end. But still,
09:43they respected each other. They chose each other. And at the end of the day, they were proud to be
09:49of one
09:49family. Look around you right now. Look at the people around you. The person to your right, the person to
09:57your left. You're sitting now amongst people of every belief in every background. A family that we have
10:04built over the years here at Harvard. Do we agree on everything? Ask the section kid. Will we ever agree
10:13on everything? Certainly not. The world beyond these walls, it has all the same disagreements, the same
10:20differences of opinion, the same divisions that we have. But I urge you, see the people in your class for
10:27who they are
10:28as people. Fight to understand them and their beliefs just as much as you stand up and fight for your
10:33own.
10:35And after you walk through the gates of this yard for the first time as Harvard graduates, do the same
10:41for the
10:41people of our world. Because in a time this complicated and this divided, understanding and a genuine
10:50willingness to look a little bit deeper is how those divisions start to heal. Thank you all and
10:57congratulations to the class of 26.
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