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00:06hello and welcome back to dream girl if you're new here i'm sheen i'm your host and today we
00:12have a very special guest i'm sure you've seen her unless you live under a rock please join me
00:17in welcoming liz hello liz hi how are you i'm good how are you good you know every time i
00:23want
00:23to say wizard liz because just that's just how i know you i feel like people they also say like
00:28lizard liz lizard the wizard that's very cool is that where the name came from how did you come up
00:35with that no the wizard liz was actually like i used to work in a restaurant as a student
00:40and i remember like i was put behind the bar because my boss was like let's put the pretty
00:46girl behind it at first i was really not good at my job but um so i was like i
00:52was working there and
00:53then we had a client that came and he he asked like for a drink and i said oh you
00:59should try this
01:00one and he said like well i would get anything that you sell me because you're so magical like
01:06your ri is magical and then i told him like well then i must be a wizard you know and
01:11i was like
01:11joking about that and i never left my mind so i was like you know when i was doing social
01:15media
01:16the wizard liz okay well i'm glad we found out the story behind the name but okay listen for me
01:23i've been following you since you started i remember the first time i watched your video and
01:27it went viral and as i was telling you beforehand because i have so many friends who are in the
01:32youtube world and i remember them saying you know we spend so much time making sure the audio quality
01:38is great the visuals are great the thumbnail is great and this girl came in and blew everyone out
01:44with the algorithm and everybody just loved you and i think it's also because of how
01:48um raw it is it almost feels like you're telling me off when i'm watching the video
01:54i think everyone needs therapy but i think they need therapy after my videos
01:59no no no no no you're helping but but i put up on my story asking people what would they
02:05want
02:06to hear from you right and today we're going to cover a few things from you know the relationship
02:10with yourself your relationship with your friends um with men or women in in a romantic way but to
02:17start with tell me what was for you a pivotal moment in your life that pushed you to start this
02:22whole
02:23career so a pivotal moment so basically my childhood was very bad okay like i think everyone already
02:30knows this that i was uh physically abused by my father um and i saw my mother get abused so
02:36it was
02:37like a very very traumatic childhood and it's funny like when my father decided to cheat on my mother
02:44that was like the happiest day of me and my siblings because we were like that monster is leaving our
02:49house we were so happy but it's ironic that when your abuser leaves the house and you finally have
02:57that freedom that you always craved that you start abusing yourself because that's when i developed uh
03:03bulimia anorexia and these these are all like forms of self-abuse you know and when i looked at my
03:11siblings and at myself i saw how we all handled everything differently because the issue is not
03:19the abuse it's the aftermath right it's how we feel afterwards because now we have to realize that we
03:25allowed ourselves to get treated like that and that this went on for so many years and it's very
03:33hurtful to realize that and then you go from all of that which you've ever known the abuse to okay
03:40what do we do now so who are we now actually because we don't know who we are without it
03:44you know we
03:45weren't allowed to explore ourselves so i feel like my life started when my father cheated on my mother
03:54it finally started and then that was the first moment in my life that i could look at myself and
03:59be like
04:00okay list what do we do now and for me my biggest thing in life was always let me just
04:06make money let
04:07me get rich because i can like at least i cannot heal my family but i would be able to
04:13like afford
04:13a band-aid to put on top of like the wounds that my father created and i kind of felt
04:19responsible for
04:20the hurt that my family had been through i don't know why but i felt responsible so my whole life
04:26i was
04:26okay how do i make money how do i make money and the more like i was struggling also with
04:31my ed
04:32and bulimia and when you're struggling with all these things all your energy is going towards that
04:38and that's why i tell people that are for example trying to lose weight let's say yeah i had this
04:45conversation today actually with like a woman in a store it was like she's like uh i love your body
04:51like are you on a diet like what's happening and i was like you know the moment that i stopped
04:55wanting to lose weight is when i lost it and i couldn't i like now whatever i eat i cannot
05:01gain
05:02it anymore which is actually an opposite issue that's great yeah but she i told her like because
05:08i was in the same mindset of like putting all my energy i couldn't even create anything right so i
05:12couldn't create business or anything because all my energy was going towards food i wake up i think
05:18about food i go to bed i think about food because you know why why i even feel like i
05:22got to eating
05:23disorder because when you have a whole childhood where you never felt in control that eating disorder
05:31made me feel in control of something i can control what i eat or what i don't eat and somehow
05:36i felt
05:37proud of myself right but it was never about like the way i looked because it was never skinny enough
05:43honestly i think it's a form of like slowly taking your own life i call it you know so when
05:50i when i
05:51removed the energy from the eating disorders and i was like you know what because this went on for two
05:57years like severe depression after my father left then i was like okay let's change things how can i
06:04actually change because i was so tired of blaming everyone or my circumstances and i was like liz you need
06:10to start looking at yourself because the reason why my life was like that was because of me and no
06:15one
06:15else i was abusing myself and it's like i don't have i don't have anyone to blame look the thing
06:20is
06:20like yeah i had an abusive childhood but what do i do next do i continue being a victim or
06:27take do i take my
06:28power back because the more energy i put into hating my father means the more powerful he becomes and i
06:35want
06:35that power i want to create you know what i mean so i was like it's time for me to
06:40pull all the energy
06:41back to myself and the only way you do that is by taking responsibility for your life blame gives
06:46your power away and responsibility gives it to yourself oh my goodness that was so powerful again
06:53i felt like i was just watching your youtube video i was i forgot i had to ask you questions
06:57i was like
06:58i get so passionate when i talk i love it okay okay one thing i want to tell you is
07:03your energy
07:04is infectious right and i think you know that but i get to experience it in person and it's beautiful
07:09as you said that you know despite all the terrible things that happened to you which you didn't have
07:15a hand to play in but you've turned that into something beautiful and now you're helping everyone
07:19else around you and that's incredible and you've built such a beautiful life for yourself
07:23so you should be very proud of yourself thank you what i'm trying to say i really appreciate that
07:27but also now what would you say is any misconception that people still hold about you given what they
07:34see online i think they see a woman and um they think like oh she's a narcissist that's what i
07:41hear
07:42often or she's very toxic her mindset is very toxic and it's like i think people they don't know
07:47they don't understand what narcissism actually is and an actual narcissist wouldn't act like a
07:53narcissist they act like the nicest person that's why women stay in relationships with narcissists
07:59for so long right because they don't understand what's going on a narcissist is not someone that
08:04comes on here and says i am amazing i am mesmerizing no that's just all like that's too outward
08:10the narcissists are more closeted and very manipulative in the way they act you know and i feel
08:16like once people see me for example and i post let's say a tiktok yesterday i post i always get
08:23what i want the reason why i post this is because i want people to look at the tiktok and
08:28read it in
08:29their head for themselves but i know what it looks like to others but at the same time i think
08:36it's a
08:37good thing that people even blame me or be like she's a narcissist she's too full of herself i think
08:43it
08:43was a good impact because i think there's people watching me and thinking you know what she's so
08:50full of herself and the way she talks if she can talk like that about herself maybe i can love
08:55myself
08:56a little they they become so comfortable because i make them uncomfortable in the way that i speak
09:01you know what i mean yeah because they see this as the extreme it's like extreme yeah but somehow it
09:06make it can make them confident because like she can be that extreme maybe i can be like a little
09:12bit
09:12of that like 10 of what she's saying you know what i mean no but i love what you said
09:17about
09:17narcissistic people right and i think that's again something that a lot of people always ask me about
09:23i have also experienced it but it's crazy how however smart you are however emotionally intelligent
09:29you are as a woman especially how you get stuck in that situation and what advice do you have for
09:36people to even start to recognize that this is a toxic situation and this person might be narcissistic
09:42so i've dealt with narcissists in my life fair share um first thing is a woman especially
09:51or whoever needs to listen to their intuition i feel like women have such strong intuition it's
10:00almost like our body and our soul knows that something is wrong before it actually happens for
10:06example me i see dreams about a person that i'm not meant to be with i see dreams about like
10:11leave
10:12or i see visions like leave and i don't listen because i think like i'm crazy i'm crazy but then
10:17until something happens where i'm like oh but i knew that but i literally knew that years ago i could
10:23have prevented this but i didn't listen to myself right so intuition is very very important you're not
10:28supposed to feel drained around a person you're not even a friend you're not supposed to sit with a
10:33friend and then come home and be like oh my god like i feel so bad because a negative energy
10:38exchange
10:39has just happened right second thing is look at their actions and not at their words and i keep
10:46telling people this so i actually had this thing with like a place that i always go to for lunch
10:52okay
10:52and there's like two waitresses that work there and i absolutely love them okay so they were telling
10:59me that the place is closing down and a new owner is now taking over and their previous owner hasn't
11:05like uh given them a new contract nothing so they are losing out on two months of uh money like
11:12salary
11:12salary so then what i did was i gave them that two months of salary wow and then they were
11:19like um and
11:20then they told me like i was asking them because i want to help them with their job and then
11:24they were
11:25telling me like no but you know he's not a bad guy liz like our boss is not a bad
11:29guy like he he's
11:30really like he says it in such a way and i said uh-uh what did he do he doesn't
11:36care about you guys i
11:37care about them he's yapping yeah i care about them and they're not they're not working for me so it's
11:42like he should care about you guys you take care of the people that you work for or that are
11:46in your
11:46life this is not normal so i'm like don't listen to what he's saying look at what he's doing and
11:52so
11:52many women because we get so sensitive and we love to hear things no look at the way he's treating
11:59you
11:59if he's abusive but tomorrow he tells you he loves you he's abusive he doesn't love you someone that
12:06loves you wouldn't abuse you you know and i i think like once you start to just look at people
12:12for who
12:13they are you know when people become mesmerizing when you put your energy into them so right now if i
12:20look at you i find you amazing okay i find you mesmerizing but it's because we are exchanging
12:24our energy right now but what if like for example i had this actually with a previous relationship of
12:30mine tell me so i would think like look i've never been the person to go for looks so i
12:36don't i don't
12:37care okay the way you look i never really cared yeah i care more about intelligence and the way you
12:42are
12:42okay but the more the relationship developed i almost had like rose colored glasses on and i found
12:49that whoa this person can manifest so well whoa this person has become so successful all these things
12:54and i was like oh this this person is amazing and even i thought like oh because of him i
13:01must be
13:01amazing i started giving him all the credit right the minute i broke up with him and i was like
13:06you know
13:07i'm done and i called all my energy back to me and i was like this is gonna end i
13:11saw him again
13:13and i was shocked i was like there is no way i was with this person no i literally saw
13:19him for the way
13:19he actually looked and it's like my friends had been telling me liz there's no way because he was not
13:24a
13:25good person either you know that's the main problem but i was like i'm my energy made him so magical
13:31to me and the same way like all the things that i thought like he's so successful he's so good
13:36at
13:36manifesting it stopped when i removed my energy so a lot of people are dating people and they put them
13:42on a pedestal but it's all because of your energy they're like a lot of women for example men become
13:48more good looking more successful because they're with that woman and then the woman starts to think
13:53like oh he's too good for me oh he's the uh-uh honey that's your energy realize it you know
14:00no you know i actually had the exact same conversation with a friend of mine where i was
14:04telling her that i'm missing this guy who used to be in my life and she was like but think
14:08about it
14:09when you say he was funny it was you who was actually funny all the things that you think you
14:13miss about him was just you being part of his life that made him funny like that or make him
14:18interesting make him uh as you said dress better or have more intellectual interest and you're like
14:24that's so true like it is because of us together but without me he doesn't have all the things
14:29that i think he does yeah so it's crazy that a lot of us you know this is what i
14:34love about
14:35women talking to each other as well right because i feel like we're all so different and so unique
14:40by the same time we have such similar life experiences we do which is crazy i can't like
14:47the way you were describing this whole scenario especially that moment of clarity when you immediately
14:52once that clarity hits there's no going back the ick will remain you're like there's no way
14:58like seeing your ex-partner the way your friends saw him i never want to see that again
15:06the disappointment you feel i was like there's no way you're like wait who was it who liked this guy
15:12i was like there must have been magic on me there's no way it wasn't me it wasn't that was
15:17that was not
15:18it wasn't me i wasn't a spell it's okay but okay now going back to a little bit around the
15:24same
15:24topic so another question we got a lot of is now that we're on the topic of men and dating
15:30is you
15:31know nowadays i don't know if it's the way society is evolving or the changes in gender roles and
15:38traditional roles but now you see a lot of women are very successful right women are becoming more and
15:42more independent and very financially independent and therefore successful and you get these women
15:48these what you would term like high value which i don't really like high value women are the ones
15:53struggling to find a partner why do you think that is i think because a lot of men are insecure
15:59and a lot of men take their value from being successful so when you take that away and you
16:05have a woman that is more successful for than you that becomes a competition for them you know and i
16:11think
16:11that's actually sad because i think people don't teach men to like for example be more in touch with
16:18their emotions develop other skills than just making money because then they can also get their
16:23value from those things but right now because they put men on such a pedestal for so long and they
16:31just
16:31poured into young men and whatever and women were just the house makers right because they made that
16:37such a big thing now you're sitting with all these men yeah they they just know okay i'll get my
16:42value
16:43if i'm successful if i'm successful i'm a good man no like look at your morals who like who are
16:48you as a
16:49person get to know yourself better and that's how you build that confidence a confident man will not
16:53get intimidated by successful woman never ever ever but there's just not enough confident men
16:59no and even you know when you look at masculinity so that's one question we got for you actually from
17:04my audience which was you know there's kind of like a rise in like soft masculinity now you know
17:10where i don't know you must have seen all of these funny reels where you know it's like men want
17:15the
17:15princess treatment now they they don't want to be the first one to text they don't want to be the
17:20one
17:20to pay the whole 50 50 situation that is coming up but do you think that is also causing an
17:26issue with
17:27men just like understanding their role and their position in society now i think men have always gotten
17:33the princess treatment always i think there has never been another time the amount of standards
17:39men have for women is insane okay but the minute you have a woman that says like hey provide you
17:46know
17:46like take care of me it's like no you're a goldiger how dare you say that but how many men
17:52would date
17:53an unattractive woman exactly they wouldn't they just simply wouldn't okay because they have that
17:58standard if you're unattractive i don't want to date you but once a woman has a standard and it's like
18:03if you're a broke guy and with broke guys i don't mean men that are poor no i mean men
18:08that don't know
18:09how to create abundance and that the that's a big big issue see for example for me a broke man
18:16how i
18:16classified is like my dad my dad refused to work he doesn't want to work he doesn't want to figure
18:23out
18:23how to work he made my mom work her whole life and she was taking care of him okay he
18:28didn't respect
18:29himself and he didn't respect my mother it was just not in balance at all and my mom had to
18:34be
18:34hyper masculine to make up for the lack of masculine energy in the house right now when you have that
18:42a
18:42person that doesn't know how to be abundant that's a broke guy okay it doesn't matter how much money he
18:48makes as long as he's trying that's an abundant man exactly because a lot of people they especially
18:54women they think like oh i just need a rich man i've dated a very wealthy guy probably the wealthiest
19:00guy i've ever dated he was not generous at all brookie yeah so that's a broke man because what
19:06what do i have with you you're showing me every day how much money you're making but what do i
19:11have
19:11with it what do i care how much money you made you know so it's like um that's like just
19:18the difference
19:19like when a man doesn't know how to be abundant that's the big issue so men wanting the princess
19:25i think they always had that right so it's like they always had a standard for a woman they always
19:30had like you have to behave like this and blah blah and even like before when women were supposed
19:36to be house makers there were so many standards you're supposed to cook you're supposed to clean
19:40you're supposed to take care of the kids and look good on top of that and if you don't i'm
19:44gonna
19:44cheat on you and if you do i'm gonna cheat on you so it's like women had to accept that
19:48but then you had women for example that have a platform like me that came on and were like
19:53stop accepting it we don't want it let's have standards you know let's have standards as a
19:58collective and because of that yeah you have what you have right now which is very successful women
20:03because they started believing in themselves instead of a man and chasing what they want and
20:09being who they want to be instead of chasing a man and like taking their value from being with a
20:16man
20:16because that's also a huge issue that women are facing you know they think like oh my god if i'm
20:21not married by this age or if i don't have children then i failed as a woman but who said
20:26that society
20:27your parents your culture who said that who set that standard for women who said that if a woman has
20:34her period she's dirty she that like that's dirty who said all these things if men could get their
20:40period and could get pregnant we would not be able to meet their standards the they would have
20:45standards through the roof the like anything that even is like um like tampons all these things it
20:52will be free it will be free yeah free and they would have made like a medic medicine or something
20:56to solve like cramps yes to help them massage tools at work yeah days off days off paid
21:06yes no for sure women would not be able to meet their standards no no and that's the thing i'm
21:12so
21:13glad you touched on this because this this has come up many times in conversations with my guests
21:18on the podcast and even with my friends i keep seeing this because now that uh women are getting
21:23in their mid 30s and late 30s they're starting to worry and all of these friends that i have or
21:29even
21:29guests that i've met one of them even said on the podcast that you know i feel like i have
21:34the villa
21:35i have my cars i have my six-figure business and i sit in my house alone and now i'm
21:41thinking did i
21:42go wrong should i have focused on finding a husband should i have focused on having kids younger because
21:48that's when you are at your peak on the sexual market value if you want to call it that and
21:54now
21:54she's like now what do i do and now i see this kind of like i don't know how to
21:58explain it other than
22:00passive depression that is rampant around where you see all these successful women who at the end
22:05of the day come home to a to like a quiet apartment and they are sad and they feel like
22:11they went wrong
22:12somewhere what would you say to these people i think that the grass is always greener on the other
22:18side i know that there's a lot of married women that wish they could come home to an empty house
22:23i swear like they have glamorized having children and married so much and people don't see the behind
22:31the scenes they always like show you the pretty picture but all the work that is behind the scenes
22:37all the arguments all the compromises all the things that cheating that happens and then you have to
22:42think oh my god do i want to stay married because i don't want to lose face in under in
22:46front of other
22:47people so i just stay married with a cheating husband and i just look nice in front of everyone and
22:51then someone looks at them and think oh i wish i had that no you don't you don't know what's
22:56going
22:56on in someone's house behind closed doors you know my parents like everyone that knew them they
23:01thought like oh father's a great guy such an amazing man such a religious man they would say you know
23:07behind closed doors that was literally the devil himself you know you never know what is going on so
23:13i would say never glamorize something if i think right now about right now about having children
23:18and husband that's a huge responsibility huge i i rather right now in this position of my life
23:25have my business make my own money and be independent and whoever comes into my life they
23:31can add to it but i'm not thinking like let me right now start a family because i know that
23:37will
23:37take so much of my time and energy into the family you know if i want to raise it in
23:43a way that i
23:43would want which is with full attention and everything so it all depends on like do you
23:49really want that or do you want to create a perfect picture for society because we have to really go
23:57back to the beliefs that we have because why do we have that because it's also it's not only women
24:02it's the same with men right if you don't get married as a man oh you're not a man you're
24:06not you
24:07have to you're not a father oh my god you're already late 30s you're not a father it's like why
24:11push
24:12things upon people some people don't want that that's okay some people do then yeah you find a
24:19way you date around you see does this match with me but don't do it because you feel like you're
24:24losing
24:24time because i feel like everything in life comes at the right time at divine timing when it's when it's
24:31meant for you when something is not meant for you it will not happen no matter what you do when
24:38something is meant for you no one can take that from you ever it will come in like in the
24:43most
24:43miraculous ways it will come so just let it go women need to start letting stuff go that tell me
24:50how live no that is the biggest thing look right before this was actually a month ago like one and
24:56one and a half months ago i was so obsessed with the outcome i became very masculine because i like
25:04i
25:04didn't have like anyone supporting me so i was like i felt like i was completely alone okay so i
25:08was
25:08like oh my god i need to have this i need to have this like i need to figure something
25:12out and i was
25:12going crazy so i was like focused so much on my career and i was just i was literally losing
25:18it okay
25:19and then i went back home because mentally i was not doing well so i went back home to my
25:24mom
25:25and uh i went home and then the second day i arrived i went to walk in nature and i
25:30always tell people
25:31go walk in nature because nature is healing right um the trees the plants all these things these are
25:39living beings i even tell people like put your back or your hands against a tree it will remove any
25:46energy that's not serving you because that's how how we work with each other but people don't know
25:51these things or they don't want to try these things so they don't get like really further in life
25:55anyway so i went and i walked in nature and i started talking to god and i always used to
26:01do
26:01this thing a lot like especially in the beginning of my career like talking to god and having
26:05conversations like he's my best friend oh my god i see the same thing you know we're gonna talk about
26:10yeah keep going sorry so then i was like i was walking in nature and i started talking to him
26:14and i said
26:15um god like uh i can't take this anymore like not like this i i'm like i want to do
26:20what i have to do
26:21on this earth and complete my mission but not like this not on my own and i feel very bad
26:26and i i said
26:27like uh i don't want to live anymore and that was really my mental state like i don't want to
26:32be here
26:32anymore but i'm not going to do it myself so you do it okay you handle it you please take
26:36my life so i
26:37was like um i said that and then all of a sudden whilst i was walking i heard like wanting
26:43nothing gives
26:44you everything i heard that sentence in my head and then i kept walking and i started repeating it out
26:50loud i was like wanting nothing gives you everything and then i understood wanting nothing
26:55gives you everything i was too focused on i need to have this i need to have family i need
27:03to have work
27:03i need to have this i need to be bigger and bigger and i was too focused on them so
27:08what i realized was
27:09if i just let go of i don't want anything anymore like you handle it here give it to god
27:14you handle it
27:15you know when i did that everything i've ever wanted came and it came so fast like these past
27:23one and a half months my life has changed 360 i've probably never been happier than i am right now
27:29yeah which is crazy but it was the minute i just let it go i was like i don't care
27:35anymore and you know
27:36this is you can see it for example and you know why this is also the thing when you let
27:41something go
27:42you take your power back you take your energy from that thing back now when you are too focused
27:47on things for example let's say you're obsessing over an ex okay the minute you stop wanting that ex
27:53all of a sudden he texts you all of a sudden he calls you he's now obsessed with you why
27:57you took
27:58your energy back the minute you take back your energy from all these things and you are now whole by
28:04yourself those things become attracted to you and they want to be with you instead of you wanting to be
28:10with them because nothing likes desperation desperation is a repulsive energy when you are
28:17desperate you have a lack mindset you don't believe that this earth is abundant and this earth is very
28:22abundant god gave us everything this is another thing that people always tell me like oh how dare you
28:27you're asking for too much oh why do you want these things baba but there's billionaires on this earth
28:32like multiple multiple billionaires yeah why can i not have even 10 of what they have what does it
28:38matter money is is a is an abundant source as well you know money gives you freedom that's the only
28:43reason why i ever wanted money for freedom because i can go where i want i can do what i
28:47want yeah i can
28:48help people in a way that i want right so if that is on earth why can i not have
28:55it if god made this earth
28:57so abundant anything that is on this earth i can have and i will get whenever i think to myself
29:03okay
29:03i want that but i just want it and i don't focus on it like in a desperate way but
29:08i know i have a
29:09goal in the back of my mind but i'm not desperate for it right that's when it comes oh wow
29:16okay i love
29:17that also you know what you said about um what is meant for you cannot miss you and what if
29:23it's not
29:23meant for you however hard you try you can't get it i remember um i go by this thing that
29:29i saw some
29:29some time ago and it's really hard to remind myself of it but i try you know when they tell
29:34you that um god will never say no to you god only has three answers either it's yes not now
29:41or i have
29:42something better so it's kind of like remembering that whatever you're not getting in life is because
29:47that's not the right thing and again it's a very freeing thought right it's like there's a bigger
29:52picture there's divine intervention there's no need to worry whatever is meant for you will find you
29:57um but i like what you talked about in terms of letting go and i think overthinking is a huge
30:03thing
30:03that our generation does we carry it with us everywhere we keep trying to plan everything and i think
30:08we didn't even learn from covid how overnight we were all in our houses nobody planned that
30:14everyone's life turned upside down and i think we still try to overthink and that overthinking
30:21kind of like takes away the joy of the present takes away the joy of you being grateful and i
30:26think
30:26gratitude is also something we don't practice a lot of but now that we are on this topic i want
30:31to ask
30:31you i feel like all of this the overthinking the over analyzing holding on to things comes a lot of
30:37times from a place of lack of confidence of self-love because people don't really understand the
30:43difference between self-love and being selfish that we always assume that we should not take up space we
30:49should not talk about ourselves about our successes so what like magical tip do you have
30:55for people in terms of how to build that confidence muscle so basically i like i wanted to touch on
31:02the
31:02thing where you said like uh they call self-love selfish yeah exactly so in terms of that if you
31:09look at
31:10the way children have been raised it's always care for others do things for others then you're a good
31:15person no one ever tells you to take care of yourself look after yourself oh you can tell
31:21yourself you're beautiful who tells you that no one tells that because then you're vain then you're
31:25then you're selfish right now if you look at it in a in a broader picture who does this benefit
31:32the people in power it benefits them that you don't believe in yourself right because if we have all these
31:38people that believe in themselves how can you control them you cannot control people if i was let's say
31:44a person in power and i was like a bad person or i thought like i just want to control
31:48people
31:49i would make them fear everything i would tell them like if you do anything you'll go straight to hell
31:54i would tell that i would tell them like um care for others if you care about yourself oh you're
31:59a bad
32:00person i would tell these things these are very smart and manipulative things but you also have to
32:04realize it's manipulative you know you a lot of people also raise their children to not believe in
32:10themselves they don't even realize they do it but they do it because they tell like oh if you did
32:15something for your sister oh then you're a good boy good girl you did a good job if you did
32:20something
32:20for your classmate or friend then you're a good person if you did something for yourself no one no
32:24one applauds you for that no one says like oh wow so that's when the confidence you build it by
32:30applauding yourself for yourself looking yourself in the mirror and say wow oh my god you got that new job
32:36oh you're amazing oh my god you're such a goddess talk to yourself that way because it's so easy for
32:43everyone to talk about their friends like that to talk about the people that we love but then we
32:48neglect ourselves the most which you are supposed to love yourself the most because when you love
32:54yourself you are love and you create love around you a person that doesn't love themselves doesn't go
33:01out and is happy with everyone else that's just not it doesn't happen you know so misery creates
33:07more misery so you have to take care first of like okay how do i feel how do i want
33:12to feel how can i do
33:14that and i think a big thing with confidence is as well like create skills become good at something
33:19because a lot of people they don't know how to do anything they don't want to learn anything and
33:24they're just blaming like oh i'm just insecure if you're just insecure create something okay then you
33:32can be confident about something and then that translates to your inner confidence and the same
33:37way people say like oh yeah but i'm just ugly look at ways to become more beautiful no but you
33:42can change
33:43yourself no like and but a lot of times they say like oh you should also just accept yourself i
33:50don't
33:50feel like that's that's most the case if i just accepted myself i would still be in my bedroom with
33:55my mom sitting there crying if i just accept myself no i had to change things and you have to
34:00be honest
34:00with yourself sometimes you are the devil that you're trying to blame because everyone wants to say oh my life
34:06is bad because of this i there must have been some magic in my life that someone did no honey
34:11how are you
34:12acting how who are you allowing around you because that is also a big thing for confidence because it's like
34:17you have bad friends you have like a bad partner that you're constantly allowing to abuse you to talk
34:23down on you you're abusing yourself and you have to be honest with yourself once you set that boundary
34:29of like you're not going to treat me like that and you actually walk away watch how your confidence
34:34will skyrocket because you made that decision to walk away when someone tells you like no you shouldn't
34:40be saying anything like for example i grew up with like my father saying um a woman should never speak
34:46a woman should never have a voice i feel my most confident now when i speak because i made that
34:52decision that my voice needs to be heard right and that's the thing to be proud of so create things
34:58for
34:58yourself that you can be proud of even helping someone out like giving them something that's something
35:04to be proud of you did something good and then applaud yourself for it you studied you had a great
35:09you had
35:10great test or whatever result that you had amazing be proud of yourself you know don't wait for other
35:15people to to sit there and clap for you clap for yourself first i love that and you know um
35:24i agree
35:24with you i think is the worst advice we can give to people is just be who you are because
35:29i think we
35:30can be a better version of who we are and that's just the starting point and who we are is
35:34as you said
35:35beautifully is a result of what we grew up with what we absorbed growing up the society everything
35:41and we need to shed these weights they're dead weight we need to shed them so we can become truly
35:46who we are meant to be and also i just want to touch on you talked about self-love and
35:51how if we don't
35:52love ourselves we can't love people around us which is so true because you know even in the ads in
35:57the
35:57airplanes where they show you that you need to put your mask first and then help people around
36:01because what's the point if you just help everyone around and then that's it you're gone
36:05that's not how it works and again you've touched on that super super nicely but um another thing i
36:12want to ask you you know so this is a term i don't like as well which is called imposter
36:16syndrome you know
36:17a lot of people blame whatever they feel or the fact that they're not trying new things not stepping
36:23out of their comfort zone on feeling like an imposter and that they don't belong and they can't do it
36:28what do you think about that you know i think in life you just have to do things and then
36:36it becomes
36:37so it's like this glass right here someone imagined it and then they created it right so if you imagine
36:45yourself as a version that you want to be and you start acting like it that's when it comes into
36:49the
36:50physical realm but it all starts here so no matter who you are right now is who you are telling
36:56yourself
36:57that you are yeah it's who your parents told you that you are it's who society told you how you
37:02have
37:03to act and how you have to be so who you are or like just be who you are it
37:08doesn't make sense because
37:09who are we at the end of the day i think we are just all souls on earth and we
37:13don't know how to
37:14behave as humans we're just waiting to return back home but we're here like okay what is this guys
37:19you know but it's nice then i see life as a video game i see life as like okay i
37:24can be whoever i want
37:25to be because it doesn't matter at the end of the day i will never be who i fully am
37:29because it will
37:30always be constructed by things around me or people around me because that's how we just are we're a
37:35soul not a human okay we're just here experiencing life on earth so once you accept that and you think
37:42like what does feel most comfortable for me who would i like to be who would i be happy if
37:47i was this
37:48person then you start acting like it you start acting like that person how would they act how would
37:53they dress what would they accept what would they not accept what are their daily habits and once you
37:59do something long enough it becomes your life right you do it something over if you're used to like going
38:05to gym every morning you wake up you'll have a fit body because you're just always at the gym and
38:11it's
38:11not like a practice that you always do right so you just start to you cannot be an imposter when
38:17you
38:18understand that everything starts in your mind first that's just how life is even diseases that
38:24we have physical diseases that we create start first in the mind a lot of people they get like
38:29crazy illnesses because trauma is stuck yeah a lot of stress and all these things but these are emotions
38:35it's all emotions before it comes into the physical so once you understand that how can you be an
38:40imposter because it just it starts here you know it's everything you know they say the same thing about
38:46being delusional they say oh no you should not be delusional we're delusional every single day
38:52every day we're delusional we wake up thinking we will not die no one is waking up today i'm gonna
38:57die
38:58today i will die no no one everyone believes that they will live on until it's your time of course
39:04you
39:04know what i mean so you can you so you can be delusional every day in life but not about
39:09the thing that
39:10you want that's like too far right no like once you understand this mind creates your whole whole life
39:16whole life once you change the mind and once you change the things that you think or or you set
39:22a
39:22goal for yourself in like this is the person that i want to be this is who i want to
39:26show up as in this
39:28human body yeah because it's like a game then that's who you become that's who you become that's
39:35how people will treat you that's how your surroundings will change that's how you will enter rooms that
39:41before you couldn't enter because now you're just unlocking a new character of yourself it's fun
39:46oh my god yeah it's like a new level yeah it's like a new level oh i like that analogy
39:52but okay
39:53you also touched on this and before i forget because your brain is moving so fast and i'm trying to
39:58keep
39:58up it's too fast every time you say something i make a mental note i want to ask her this
40:03and then
40:03we've reached 10 later but you know you talked about how even your surroundings right and the
40:09people around you make a big difference um there's this whole saying that you are the average of the
40:15five people you spend most time with but one thing i have experienced and i'm sure you have given how
40:20how quickly your life changed as well is that a lot of people you outgrow friends especially who were
40:27there in very good times and i've been very surprised to see the how some friendships evolved
40:33and some of them stayed very true with me throughout but some people who were there in the trenches kind
40:39of like rooting for me hoping it will happen but then when it happens they're not that happy about it
40:44and they don't celebrate your wins how do you deal with that well you know it's very logical that
40:50that happens because you're uncomfortable now yeah they don't want to be around you it becomes
40:55uncomfortable because now it's like you were in the same position as them once right and you made it
41:02out so now that means these people have to look at themselves and only can blame themselves now they
41:07cannot blame society they cannot blame the the place they grew up in or whatever they cannot blame
41:13outside forces because you did it so it's like oh so i could do it too but i didn't and
41:19that eats away
41:19at them and then jealousy gets created you know i think jealousy is a good emotion
41:24why because it shows you what you want if someone is jealous of me they just want what i have
41:30or they
41:30what they think i have yeah right what the glamorized version of that is but that's good so now you
41:36have a
41:36goal take that jealousy transmute that jealous energy into creating that because i'm not sitting
41:43here telling i'm better than you i'm sitting here you can do the same thing you know i posted something
41:48yesterday on my tiktok and um it said like uh it was like i get anything i want you know
41:53like an
41:54affirmation and someone commented like yeah because you're a millionaire and i'm like but i came from
41:59nothing though a few years ago i came from nothing and i i took care of my family's financial situation
42:06i built everyone and i made even because i like uh became successful my family believes in themselves
42:13now and they think like oh we can do whatever we want because liz did it right so it's like
42:19don't look at my success and be like oh but you're here now three years ago i was just like
42:24you girl
42:24just like you literally yeah so it's like yeah it's the same thing like take that jealousy and start to
42:31look at okay how can i actually get what they want if you're jealous of beauty if you're jealous of
42:35whatever that's just what you want it's an indicator for what you want because it's not about that
42:40person it's every life everything in life what we experience is about ourselves we're thinking from
42:46our perspective always so anything even someone says to you it's like a projection of how they feel
42:52right it's not about you so when you realize like you know what it's not really about me but i
42:58hope you
42:58get what you want if someone is jealous of me i i send them like love and i say i
43:03hope you get there
43:04because that's what you want right otherwise why are you jealous i'm not jealous of um what's it
43:10called the people that climb the mountains because i don't want to climb that mountain
43:13but i bet there's some people jealous that someone climbed that mountain yeah that's what they want
43:19it's good once you take that energy instead of making it something negative transmute it people
43:26create the biggest art when they're sad when they're angry when they're jealous they create
43:32crazy art music everything like uh art pieces they create everything out of it do it do the same thing
43:39oh uh yeah definitely i think the main message is be inspired instead of like being jealous right
43:46yeah but don't demonize the emotion no because everyone this is the issue with jealousy people
43:51think i'm jealous i'm a bad person now you're not you just want what they want then okay figure out
43:57how can i get there if your friends were in the same situation and you could get there they can
44:02get
44:02there too 100 they can get there too but just have to think okay how can i do what she
44:06did you know
44:08no absolutely but you know what i like about you liz is how you are so disconnected from whatever is
44:15petty you know you're just you you've risen above and you're just like this is i i get the human
44:22nature
44:22behind it i see where it comes from you are very good at recognizing what matters and what doesn't and
44:28you you're good at choosing your battles how did you get to that level of being like you know what
44:33i'm not gonna sweat the small stuff you know uh thank you by the way and then also i feel
44:39like
44:39ever since i was young i had that quality so i didn't have time to be a child i had
44:43to grow up
44:44very fast so i was like an adult since i was young i was like a mother to my mother
44:48okay so because of
44:50that whenever i would like speak or anything my mom used to call me like a lawyer she's like you
44:55defend
44:55anyone you see their perspective from any person you see a perspective okay which is not always a
45:01good thing but i do i understand why someone did what they did i can get into their shoes and
45:07i can
45:07almost feel what they felt when they did that do i accept certain behaviors even though i understand no
45:14i can understand that what you did was wrong but you also have to understand that i will put my
45:20boundary here and be like you won't do that to me ever again right so that's how i operate i'm
45:26like
45:26i can understand i can have empathy with you i can feel bad for you and think like i'm happy
45:31i'm not in
45:32your position i'm happy i don't wake up a hater i'm happy that i think god the biggest curse he
45:38gave
45:38was that making someone a hater like imagine waking up thinking about how many people you hate
45:44or thinking about let's make him miserable her miserable that's sad so i'm like thank god that
45:49i'm not that person but i can have empathy for you but doesn't mean that you have to be in
45:55my life
45:55though it doesn't mean that i have to and i feel like giving them attention or feeding into it or
46:01let's
46:01say reacting to these things puts them in my life in my reality but it's like you don't exist in
46:07my world
46:08if i don't let you exist in it and that's it i have that power so i don't let you
46:13exist if i don't
46:14like you you know what i mean absolutely boundaries right yeah very important very important but i mean
46:20i could speak to you for hours but we're running out of time for hours thank you so what would
46:25you
46:25say is a parting message or any advice that you would want to give to anyone listening to you today
46:32i would say like really start believing in yourself and start believing in god i think to believe
46:38in god is to believe in yourself i think we don't ask god for enough things and we don't ask
46:43for big
46:43enough things you have to ask for the small stuff and the big stuff and i feel like once you
46:48have
46:49like lately i've been even closer to god and i feel like the closer you are to god the higher
46:54your vibration
46:55raises and that's how also the negative things and the lower vibrational things cannot affect you
47:02because you're not on that vibe you know what i mean so i think believe in yourself believe that
47:07anything you want can happen and will happen no matter how long it takes it will happen it just
47:13will and you have to have that belief but don't become obsessed with it don't become obsessed when
47:18you know when people become obsessed with certain things that's when they start to lose the connection
47:23to themselves when you become obsessed with money you become obsessed with fame you become obsessed with
47:27relationships you start to lose yourself always keep that connection with yourself and i think
47:32one of the truest way of keeping that connection with yourself is keeping a connection with god
47:37i love that thank you so much liz for being here today thank you so much for having me no
47:41this was
47:42incredible and i wish you only the best and i can't wait to see how many more leaps and bounds
47:48you
47:48take online and with everything you do thank you for helping all of us and thank you for this therapy
47:52session thank you so much for having me i really appreciate you of course
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