- 11 hours ago
Dear My Countess
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00The third month after my husband left the estate, I didn't take a lover.
00:04I became addicted to a filthy phone call that came in every night at midnight.
00:08Wait, the man with that depraved voice, was that my own stepson?
00:12I'd tear that fussy gown off you, pin you against the wall, make you beg me.
00:17Be quiet, you madman.
00:20I hissed it through my teeth, my fingers dug into the receiver.
00:24I didn't hang up, I couldn't bring myself to hang up.
00:27Listening to him describe what he'd do to me, my legs gave out.
00:30I leaned against the cold wall of the corridor.
00:33A strange heat shot from my belly to between my thighs.
00:36The fabric beneath my skirt was already soaked through.
00:39My husband, the old Earl, had been in London at Parliament for three months.
00:43He was fifty, I was thirty.
00:45The age when a woman wants nothing more than to be hurt and filled.
00:48This dried out body of mine was driving me mad.
00:51Knees giving out, Countess?
00:53That low, dangerous laugh, pure provocation.
00:56I clamped a hand over my mouth, tried to swallow back the shameful sound rising in my throat.
01:02My body slid down the wall instead.
01:05Trembling between hunger and shame, I couldn't stop.
01:08Four times this week, every night at midnight, that depraved call came in like clockwork.
01:14At first it was terror, outrage, an unforgivable violation.
01:19But I told no one.
01:20And worse, I didn't pull the cord from the wall.
01:22By midnight, I was waiting for the bow.
01:25The Earl had been gone three months.
01:27The hollow ache in my body had grown unbearable.
01:30Before he left, every night he'd sat in the leather chair in the master bedroom.
01:34One tap of his cane on the floor.
01:36And I was to strip every layer of silk in front of him.
01:40He'd pull on his black leather gloves.
01:42The leather creaked as it stretched.
01:43Those gloved hands would need me with terrible force.
01:47No consideration at all.
01:49Until I'd torn the sheets to shreds.
01:52Staring at him, almost begging for the final thrust.
01:55Then he'd stop.
01:57He'd peel the gloves off.
01:58Slow.
01:59Drop them on the vanity.
02:00He never entered me.
02:02Not once.
02:03He'd turn and walk out.
02:04Close the door hard behind him.
02:06I'd lie naked on the bed.
02:08Listening to his boots retreat down the corridor.
02:10My legs unable to close.
02:12And then this man on the telephone.
02:14His damp, ragged breathing.
02:16His filthy fantasies of tearing my clothes apart.
02:20Words I had never heard.
02:21A seduction from another world entirely.
02:24A world without these cold, mildewed rooms.
02:27Without the endless rain and the endless waiting.
02:30A world that offered only immediate, scalding satisfaction.
02:33It was a barbed hook.
02:35Sunk precisely into the softest, most starving part of me.
02:39He knew, exactly, how to draw out a noblewoman left alone too long.
02:47Listen, my countess.
02:49You're so desperate right now.
02:52Aren't you?
02:54Go to your bedroom.
02:55I left you a gift.
02:57Go up.
02:59Enjoy it.
03:00That low, damp voice.
03:02As if pressed right against my ear.
03:05Click.
03:05The line went dead.
03:07I dragged my unsteady legs back to the bedroom.
03:10Bolted the door.
03:11On the vanity, a black velvet box.
03:14No card.
03:15I went rigid.
03:16I scanned the room.
03:18The dark drapes.
03:19The wardrobe.
03:20The shadow under the bed.
03:22The room was silent.
03:23Empty.
03:24I unwrapped it with shaking hands.
03:26Inside, a piece of oriental white porcelain.
03:30Shaped like a dolphin.
03:31But the curve of it was wrong.
03:33Too thick.
03:34Too rounded.
03:36Tilted at the tip in a way that suggested something obscene.
03:39Something made me reach for it.
03:41My hand closed around it.
03:42The porcelain was cold.
03:44My palm was scalding.
03:45I traced my fingertip up that smooth edge.
03:48The cold hardness against the heat of my skin.
03:51I lifted my head to the mirror.
03:53The woman looking back at me had a face flushed crimson.
03:56Her chest was heaving.
03:58She was breathing hard.
04:00In great open mouthfuls.
04:02A sleepless night.
04:03Julian came back at first light.
04:05The old Earl's legitimate heir.
04:08Twenty-two years old.
04:10In a pressed, dark suit.
04:12He stood in the center of the great hall like a flawless English gentleman.
04:16But as he stepped closer, that young man's heir.
04:19Aggressive.
04:20Predatory.
04:21It closed in on me.
04:22He stopped.
04:23Bowed his head.
04:25His large hand caught my wrist.
04:27Lifted the back of my hand to his lips.
04:29His mouth brushed the cold of my skin.
04:32Hot.
04:33Frightening.
04:34Every bit of heat I had only just suppressed surged back.
04:37He didn't release me.
04:39He slowly raised his head.
04:40There was no respect in his eyes.
04:43None of the deference owed to one's stepmother.
04:45His gaze slid from my face down to my chest.
04:49Without restraint.
04:50Like a pair of rough hands.
04:52They tore my fussy gown to ribbons in an instant.
04:55Stripped my wanton body bare beneath.
04:58As though he could see exactly how I'd held that porcelain dolphin last night.
05:02Exactly how I'd breathed.
05:04I sucked in a sharp breath.
05:06Pulled my hand back hard.
05:08I straightened my spine.
05:09Held myself in the bearing of a countess.
05:12Tried to warn him off with cold posture alone.
05:14I didn't dare open my mouth.
05:16A fine layer of sweat was already breaking out down my back.
05:20Beneath the heavy silk, I pressed my thighs together.
05:23Doing everything I could to hide that one look from him had already made me tremble.
05:29Five consecutive nights.
05:31The telephone in the corridor rang at midnight without fail.
05:35Each time I lifted the receiver, only that cheap tavern tomb, and his aggressive, panting breath.
05:41I gripped the receiver.
05:43Said nothing.
05:44Did not hang up.
05:45I listened to him describe the most depraved fantasies he had of me.
05:49In the foulest words.
05:51By day, the estate became another, more dangerous cage.
05:55Julian was always there.
05:57In the narrow corridors.
05:59At the bend of the stairs.
06:01Always too close.
06:02Whenever I wasn't expecting him.
06:04He never gave way.
06:06As we passed, his broad shoulder would brush my arm.
06:09Even through the heavy silk of my gown, his young man's body heat was startling.
06:14He turned his head, just slightly, pressed his mouth near my ear, murmured one word,
06:20Mother.
06:21His voice low, damp, almost wet.
06:24The same tone as the man on the telephone.
06:27The one who said he'd pin me to the wall.
06:29I froze in place.
06:31My fingers clenched the hem of my gown, crushed the costly fabric in my fist.
06:35I didn't dare turn around.
06:37I just walked away in my heels, half fled.
06:40My defenses were being shredded layer by layer.
06:43By day, I was terrified of this perfect, suited stepson.
06:47By midnight, I stood like a madwoman in the cold corridor, staring at that black telephone,
06:54desperate for it to ring.
06:55Luncheon.
06:56A long table covered in snow-white linen.
06:59The cold ring of silver against porcelain.
07:01Three servants stood at the wall like wooden posts.
07:04Heads bowed.
07:06Motionless.
07:07Julian sat directly across from me.
07:09White shirt.
07:10Immaculate.
07:11Cravat perfect.
07:13He cut a piece of bloody beef.
07:15The silver knife shrieked against the plate.
07:17He placed the meat in his mouth.
07:19Spoke as though it were nothing.
07:22Mother.
07:23Last week, I went out to see a play with some friends.
07:25I saw a pod of dolphins.
07:27The word dolphins detonated in my skull.
07:33That obscene piece of white porcelain sitting on my vanity.
07:36The shape was a dolphin.
07:38He set down his knife and fork.
07:40Lifted his crystal goblet.
07:42His eyes pinned to my face.
07:44Clear and ringing in the dead silence of the dining room.
07:47Did you know they are the most wantful creatures in the natural world, second only to us.
07:52They mate to breed.
07:53They mate for pleasure.
07:55They rub.
07:56They satisfy themselves with abandon.
07:59He took a sip of red wine.
08:01His throat moved.
08:02His eyes stayed fixed on me.
08:04On my flushed, choking face.
08:07On my ruined breathing.
08:09Then the corner of his mouth lifted into a small, cruel smile.
08:13What did he know?
08:14Or was it suggestion?
08:16Rain outside.
08:17Heavy.
08:18It hammered the glass.
08:19I could not sleep.
08:21I went to the door.
08:22Turned the key.
08:23Click.
08:24I bolted myself inside.
08:26I stripped off the heavy restrictive gown.
08:29Layer by layer, I peeled away every piece of fabric that stood for propriety.
08:33I struck a match.
08:35Lit a single candle on the vanity.
08:37In the dim light, I opened the black velvet box.
08:40I took out the oriental porcelain, the shape of a dolphin.
08:44Full, rounded, tilted at the tip.
08:47Its surface was cold.
08:49My fingers gripped it until the knuckles went white.
08:52I carried it to the edge of the bed, sat down.
08:55The only sound was the rain.
08:57My legs wouldn't stop trembling.
08:59I pressed my knees together.
09:00My stockings whispered against each other.
09:03I couldn't stop.
09:04They rub.
09:05They satisfy themselves with abandon.
09:08Julian's words at lunch.
09:10Ringing in my ears with terrible clarity.
09:13A countess's dignity.
09:14A countess's morality.
09:16Both shattered on this rain-swept night.
09:19I stopped fighting.
09:20I closed my eyes.
09:22Tilted my head back.
09:24Drew long, open-mouthed breaths.
09:25I gripped that cold, depraved porcelain.
09:29And slowly, slowly, lay back across the tangled sheet.
10:02I lay on the disordered sheet.
10:03Sweat slid down the sheet.
10:05Onto the cold porcelain.
10:06The sheet was twisted out of shape.
10:08My thighs shook inside their lace.
10:10My knees knocked together.
10:11They rub.
10:13They satisfy themselves.
10:14I couldn't control it.
10:16A choked breath tore out of my throat.
10:18In that rain-soaked room, the sound was deafening.
10:20I had thrown away every shred of dignity.
10:23Panting like an animal over a piece of porcelain.
10:26Unable to stop.
10:27Just as I was about to come apart entirely.
10:28Click.
10:29The smallest turn of metal.
10:31The spare key turned in the lock.
10:32The door pushed open.
10:33Light from the corridor flooded in.
10:35Julie still in his daytime suit.
10:37Standing in the doorway.
10:38His eyes cold, deliberate, fell on me.
10:43Get out!
10:44Julian took in the disordered sheet.
10:46The piece of porcelain still in my hand.
10:48My breath stopped.
10:49I grabbed at the silk coverlet in a panic.
10:51Pulled it up to cover myself.
10:52I tried for the bearing of a countess.
10:54My voice broke.
10:55He didn't move.
10:56Then he turned and locked the door behind him.
10:58Click.
10:58Piercing in the dead room.
10:59He walked to the bed.
11:00One step at a time.
11:01His tall shadow closed over me.
11:03He leaned down.
11:04Hands braced on either side of me.
11:06His hot, young man's breath struck my collarbone.
11:09Then he parted his lips.
11:10Hummed very low a few rough notes.
11:12The cheap tavern gramophone tune.
11:14The one from the telephone.
11:15My eyes went wide.
11:16No sound came out of my throat.
11:18He reached out.
11:19Through the thin silk coverlet precisely he closed his hand over the porcelain in mine.
11:23Closed his hand around my hand.
11:24He tore the silk coverlet aside.
11:26My body was bare to the cold air.
11:28His other hand braced beside my head.
11:30His tall body pressed down.
11:31He gripped my hand.
11:33Forced me to hold the porcelain.
11:34Guided my hand downward.
11:35Pressed.
11:36The full, tilted tip of the dolphin pushed up into me.
11:39It appears the piece I collected myself.
11:41Suits mother's tastes very well.
11:47He began to move my hand.
11:49Once, again, brutal, I tried to close my legs.
11:52He drove them apart with his knee.
11:54The cold porcelain pressed and rubbed without mercy.
11:58Sweat ran from my forehead.
11:59I clenched my teeth.
12:01My other hand pushed the silk into deep folds.
12:04His wrist jerked.
12:05That cold, hard thing broke past the last defense.
12:08Pushed deep into the burning heat of it.
12:11I could no longer hold my lip between my teeth.
12:13He drove my hand inside me with savage force.
12:16The shock of cold and burning heat together.
12:19My thighs convulsed.
12:20I threw my head off.
12:22My neck strained.
12:23My body shook to its limit.
12:25I came apart in his hand.
12:26Slowly, he drew my hand out.
12:28He lifted the porcelain in front of my face.
12:30From the rounded tip, a long, glistening thread of moisture trailed in the candles.
12:35Tremorant.
12:36He stared at that thread.
12:37A scalding breath struck my face.
12:39The corner of his mouth pulled up in a cruel smile.
12:42Plattered.
12:43The porcelain fell to the contact.
12:45In the quiet room, the bright snap of a metal belt buckle being undone.
12:48Look at yourself, mother.
12:49You really are just like those dolphins.
12:53Utterly wanting.
12:56The hardness and heat of a young man instantly replacing that cold porcelain pressed against me.
13:01But he did not enter.
13:02He only dragged himself along the burning heat between my thighs.
13:06Cruel.
13:06Slow.
13:07The hollow ache, after the friction of the porcelain, was unbearable.
13:11He stared at me with raw violence in his eyes.
13:13His sweat dripped on my collarbone.
13:15He was waiting for me to give up the last of my dignity.
13:18I clenched my teeth.
13:19What reason I had left forced me to shrink back.
13:22My hands pushed at his hard chest.
13:24My fingertips were shaking.
13:25I begging him to stop.
13:27He stared at my flushed face.
13:29The corner of his mouth pulled into a wicked smile.
13:34He stopped abruptly.
13:35Pulled back an inch.
13:36The pressure vanished.
13:38Cold air rushed in.
13:39My legs were ruined.
13:40I couldn't help it.
13:41My back arched forward.
13:42My thighs wrapped around his waist.
13:44Like a mad woman, I pressed myself against him.
13:47A small, humiliating whimper rose from my throat.
13:50He looked at my thighs locked around his waist.
13:52The malice in his eyes ignited fully.
13:54Every night you stand in that corridor and answer the telephone, Mother.
13:57Is this what you've been imagining?
13:59Until you went mad?
14:01His voice dropped lower.
14:02Mocking.
14:03Naked.
14:04I bit my lip.
14:04I had no answer.
14:05He drove down onto me again.
14:07Still not crossing the last line.
14:09He used that hardness only to slide brutally savage.
14:12Fast against the burning heat of me.
14:14The full weight of him.
14:15The frequency of it.
14:16It destroyed what reason I had left.
14:18I threw my head back.
14:19The line of my throat strained tight.
14:21The heavy oak bed began to rock.
14:23The legs slammed against the floor.
14:24A terrible pounding.
14:29I tried to push him off.
14:30My hands locked around his back instead.
14:32My nails sank into the firm flesh.
14:34Cut bright streaks of blood.
14:36The silk sheets snagged in my grip.
14:38He went on.
14:38Fast.
14:39Without consideration.
14:41Heavy drops of his sweat fell on my collarbone and mixed with mine.
14:44Open your eyes.
14:45Horse.
14:46Commanding.
14:46His fingers caught my chin.
14:48Forced my face up.
14:49I opened my eyes.
14:50Shaking.
14:51The mask of the perfect gentleman was gone.
14:53The veins at his temple stood up.
14:55His throat moved.
14:56His eyes were dark.
14:57The lofty young air was because of my thirty-year-old body drowning in his own pleasure.
15:01Watching him this undone because of me set off something I couldn't name.
15:05The burning heat between my thighs spilled out more wetness.
15:08Where we met was a ruin.
15:09What was left of my reason snapped.
15:14He went savage.
15:15Harder.
15:16Then harder.
15:17I threw my head back.
15:18My nails tore into his arm.
15:19My body convulsed under one savage thrust.
15:22I came apart beneath him.
15:24In the same instant his arm tightened around my waist.
15:27His body bowed taut as a drawn string.
15:29A muffled, broken sound.
15:31Scalding wetness a young man spilled across my belly and the inside of my thighs.
15:35The heavy oak bed at last stopped striking the floor.
15:38I lay collapsed on the wrecked silk sheet.
15:40Drawing huge open breaths.
15:42Trembling everywhere.
15:43The hot wetness slid down my skin.
15:45The shame of being used like a thing to be ground against used and released fell over me.
15:49My eyes burned.
15:50But the real deep pleasure he had drawn out of me was so undeniable that my heart, in this despair,
15:56kept pounding wildly.
16:00Then he stood up straight.
16:02He didn't look at me.
16:03Did up his belt.
16:04He walked to the door without a word.
16:05Click.
16:06The door opened.
16:07Shut hard.
16:08The corridor light disappeared.
16:09The room fell dead silent again.
16:11I lay on the ruined sheet, drawing breath.
16:13The wetness on my skin was going cold.
16:15He had thrown me away, like a thing he had used.
16:18Pressed against on the bed.
16:20Rubbed against until he was satisfied.
16:22Then discarded.
16:22The humiliation rose.
16:24I clenched my teeth.
16:25My nails dug into my palms.
16:27Tears mixed with sweat fell on the pillow.
16:29The days that followed, he was worse.
16:31Whenever no one was watching, he closed the distance.
16:34At the bend of the afternoon corridor.
16:35In the airless glass house.
16:37In the dust-laden hour.
16:41He'd step across the space.
16:43Catch my wrist.
16:44Press me against the rough wall.
16:46His body would come down.
16:47His knee would shove between my legs.
16:49Through the heavy gown.
16:50That hardness pressed against me.
16:52He'd breathe at my feet.
16:53His thighs would start their work.
16:55Once.
16:56Again.
16:56A frequency that didn't stop.
16:58I bit down on my lower lip.
16:59My nails clawed into the wall.
17:01Sweat fell from my forehead.
17:02One of his hands gripped my waist.
17:04The other pushed up under my skirt.
17:06His fingers through the silk stockings worked the burning heat between my thighs.
17:09Open your legs.
17:11Let me end.
17:12Very well.
17:13A command.
17:13I was shaking.
17:14The wetness had soaked into the fabric.
17:16I wanted his weight inside me.
17:18To fill the hollow weight.
17:19But I clenched my teeth.
17:21Grabbed my skirt.
17:22Forced my knees tight.
17:23Held the last line.
17:24I would not yield.
17:25He stared at me with that ugly look.
17:27Then a small, cold laugh.
17:29He pulled his hand back.
17:31The pressure was gone.
17:32He smoothed his cravat.
17:33Adjusted his cuff.
17:35Without expression.
17:36Turned.
17:36Walked away.
17:37His shoes on the wooden floor.
17:39The sound retreating.
17:40I leaned against the cold wall.
17:42My skirt in disorder.
17:43My legs would not stop shaking.
17:45The ache he had left suspended in me, half built and unfinished, was driving me mad.
17:52This forbidden disorder held until my brother arrived.
17:56I should never have agreed to let him come.
17:58It destroyed him.
18:00It destroyed me.
18:01The heavy oak doors swung in.
18:03Thomas walked in with his case.
18:05Nineteen years old.
18:07In a thin shirt.
18:08Clean.
18:09Unguarded.
18:10I stood in the great hall.
18:12Julian stood at my side.
18:13Thomas came forward.
18:15Greeted me, sister.
18:16Then turned to Julian.
18:18Held out a stiff, polite hand.
18:20Julian did not take it at once.
18:22His gaze moved slowly over Thomas' face.
18:25Across the tense line of his jaw.
18:28Down to the throat that moved as Thomas swallowed nervously.
18:31In the great hall there was only the sound of the clock.
18:34I stood half a step away.
18:35I heard Julian's breathing deepen.
18:38His throat moved.
18:39The dangerous excitement in his eyes flared all at once.
18:42The look of a starving hunter sighting prey.
18:45More avid, more greedy than when he'd pinned me to a wall at midnight.
18:48He extended his hand.
18:50His broad, rough palm closed around Thomas' hand and squeezed tight.
18:54Welcome to the estate, Thomas.
18:56Very low.
18:57Damp.
18:58Aggressive.
18:59Watching his gaze warm because of Thomas, every drop of blood in my body went cold.
19:04Ice ran up my spine to the base of my skull.
19:07Cold sweat broke down my back.
19:10Julian had stopped seeing me entirely.
19:13For days his eyes never settled on me.
19:15Not for a second.
19:16He had gone to Thomas.
19:17That afternoon the photography darkroom of the estate.
19:20The heavy door was ajar.
19:21A line of dim red light.
19:22I stopped outside.
19:24Through the narrow gap Thomas at the basin.
19:26Julian behind him.
19:27The small distance between them gone entirely.
19:29Julian's tall body pressed down.
19:31His broad chest against Thomas' thin back.
19:33He reached around from behind.
19:35Folded both arms around Thomas.
19:36Those large hands, the ones that had gripped my waist at midnight, now covered the backs
19:40of Thomas' hands.
19:42Guided them down into the developing fluid.
19:44The surface trembled.
19:45Julian bent his head.
19:46His mouth brushed Thomas' ear.
19:48He spoke low, slow, damp.
19:50The same tone I had heard every midnight in the telephone.
19:52Thomas did not know how to develop a photograph.
19:55He stood frozen.
19:56His thin shoulders shook against Julian's burning chest.
19:59Their breath tangled in the red light.
20:00The heat that had been mine.
20:02The violence that had been mine.
20:03All of it transferred.
20:04I stood in the cold corridor.
20:06My fist clenched.
20:07My nails sank into my palm.
20:09Sharp pain.
20:09A bead of blood seeped through my fingers.
20:12Wet and sticky in my hand.
20:13I stared at the two figures pressed together in the gap of the door.
20:16Whatever sense I had left burned to ash.
20:18I had to do something.
20:21Deep night.
20:22The corridor was dead silent.
20:24I stopped at the end of the corridor.
20:26Near Thomas' guest room.
20:28The heavy door wasn't fully shut.
20:30A narrow line of yellow light spilled across my shoes.
20:34I heard them.
20:35Thomas' breathing fast.
20:37Defenseless.
20:38The breathing of someone already lost.
20:41Already past resisting.
20:42Then Julian's voice.
20:44Very low.
20:45Very slow.
20:46With that damp tone, I had heard so many nights in the corridor telephone.
20:50He was drawing Thomas across the last line.
20:52I stared through the gap.
20:54Julian's dark coat lay on the carpet.
20:56His tall body had Thomas pressed against the edge of the bed.
20:59Thomas' trousers were already loosened.
21:02The same large hands that had gripped me, used me, were now between Thomas' open lines.
21:07The muscles in Julian's arm cast.
21:09A strong, controlling rhythm.
21:11Fast.
21:12Heavy.
21:12Up and down.
21:13The wet, sticky sound was loud in the dead room.
21:17Thomas made a single broken sound.
21:19My violence.
21:21My hardness.
21:22He was about to give all of it to someone else.
21:24The bright snap of a metal belt buckle from inside the room.
21:27Clatter.
21:28The sound struck my ear.
21:30I stood outside the door.
21:32Stared at the suit jacket on the carpet.
21:34I raised my hand.
21:35Closed it around the cold brass handle.
21:37Without hesitation.
21:38Pushed the door open.
21:41A loud crack.
21:43The brass handle slammed into the wall.
21:45Thomas flinched.
21:46His face flushed scarlet.
21:47He stared at me with horror and shock.
21:49Shirt open.
21:50In disarray.
21:51I didn't look at him.
21:52I looked at Julian.
21:53On the edge of the bed.
21:54His hand was still between Thomas' legs.
21:56Motion stopped.
21:57That wet, grating friction gone.
21:59He slowly raised his head.
22:00The dangerous excitement in his eyes.
22:02A cold smile pulling at his mouth.
22:04I walked to the bed in my heels.
22:06Step by step.
22:07Sis.
22:08Thomas' voice trembled.
22:10He fumbled at his fallen trousers.
22:11I ignored him entirely.
22:13I stared straight at Julian.
22:14Both hands catching the sash of my robe.
22:16I pulled hard.
22:17The robe fell open white skin.
22:19Nothing beneath but lace.
22:20I lifted my leg.
22:21In front of my own brother, I climbed astride Julian's thigh.
22:24Through the rough trousers of his suit, I pressed down on the hardness already waiting.
22:28My hands pressed his broad shoulders.
22:30My thighs were shaking violently.
22:32I caught his hand, the one that had just been working Thomas, and pressed it flat against
22:36my chest.
22:37Let him go.
22:39The last thing you want.
22:42I will give it to you.
22:45Now, take me.
22:47This instant.
22:51Julian didn't refuse.
22:53He smiled with genuine interest.
22:55He tore the last barrier away.
22:57The rough fabric of his trousers scraped my thighs.
23:00He locked his hands around my waist.
23:03Drove up into me.
23:04His hardness broke into me at once.
23:06Without mercy, I sat astride his thigh.
23:09In front of Thomas, I pressed my hands on his shoulders.
23:13I began to drive myself down.
23:15Once.
23:16Again.
23:16The heavy bed frame rocked.
23:18The legs slammed against the floorboards.
23:21A great, terrible pounding.
23:23I threw my head back.
23:24I could not hold the sound.
23:26Wide open breaths echoed in the room.
23:28Sweat slid down my throat.
23:30Across the torn lace, Thomas was huddled at the side of the bed.
23:34Frozen.
23:35His eyes were red.
23:37Locked in horror on the place where Julian and I were joined.
23:40Julian leaned back against the headboard.
23:42A wild fire in his eyes.
23:44One hand gripped my waist.
23:45Controlled how deep I went.
23:47The pace.
23:48His other hand reached for Thomas.
23:50That broad palm caught my brother's chin.
23:53The thumb moved.
23:54Slow.
23:54Back and forth across Thomas' trembling lips.
23:57Are you watching closely, Thomas?
23:59Look at your dignified, virtuous sister.
24:01Look at how she rides a man.
24:03See how wantous she is.
24:06I shook all over.
24:08I clenched my teeth.
24:09I didn't stop.
24:11I stared at Julian.
24:12My movement turned wilder.
24:14Heaven.
24:15Frequent friction.
24:16The impact was deafening.
24:18A final savage thrust.
24:19He locked my waist.
24:21His body went rigid.
24:22A muffled, broken sound.
24:24Scalding wetness filled me.
24:26I collapsed against his chest.
24:27Drawing huge breaths.
24:29My thighs trembled against his trousers.
24:31He released my waist.
24:33That hand slipped down.
24:35Brushed across the edge of where we were still joined.
24:38His rough fingertip came away coated.
24:40A long, glistening thread of wetness.
24:42He reached for Thomas again.
24:44The fingertip pressed against Thomas' lips.
24:47He smeared the wetness across them, without restraint.
24:50Do you want it?
24:52Your sister's taste.
24:55And mine.
24:56In a few days, I'll give it to you.
25:00I lay against his sweat-soaked chest.
25:02The words struck my ear with terrible clarity.
25:04My hand closed slowly to a fist.
25:06My ten fingers clenched the sheet beneath us.
25:11After that night, everything changed.
25:13The music of an evening reception drifted through the great hall.
25:17I stood behind a pillar.
25:18I watched Thomas' eyes follow Julian.
25:21I walked over.
25:22I caught Julian's wrist.
25:24I pulled him straight into the storeroom at the end of the corridor.
25:27I locked the door behind us.
25:29No lamp.
25:30I stared at him.
25:31My hands caught the straps of my gown.
25:33I pulled them down hard.
25:35Tearing.
25:36Fabric splitting.
25:37The heavy silk fell to my waist.
25:39I stepped forward.
25:40Pressed myself against him.
25:42His rough suit scraped my skin.
25:44I caught his broad hands.
25:45Pressed them against my open dress.
25:47He caught my waist.
25:49Spun me around.
25:50Pinned me to the heavy wooden door.
25:52The bright click of a belt buckle.
25:54He drove into me without mercy.
25:56The door pounded against its frame.
25:59I dug my hands into the wood.
26:01Pushed my back against him.
26:03Met every brutal stroke.
26:04His scalding sweat fell on my back.
26:08Your brother is still looking for me in the hole.
26:11He doesn't deserve it.
26:13Give it to me.
26:15His fingers on my waist tightened.
26:17Nearly dug into the flesh.
26:18He turned savage.
26:19A heavy, ceaseless rhythm.
26:21I threw my head back.
26:23My throat strained.
26:24In the dark of the storeroom.
26:26Only the slap of flesh and the ragged breath.
26:30Crack.
26:31The storeroom door was kicked open.
26:33Thomas in the doorway.
26:34His eyes red rimmed.
26:35His chest heaving.
26:36He stared at the two of us.
26:38Disbelief written all over his face.
26:39I'm going to London.
26:41I'm going to write to the Earl.
26:44I'm writing everything down.
26:46Everything you've done.
26:47Come.
26:48Hold him.
26:49I calmly straightened my skirt.
26:51Steadyed my breath with Julian.
26:53Watched him come apart.
26:54The guards moved forward.
26:55Caught Thomas by the arm.
26:56Thomas struggled.
26:57A guard kicked behind his knees.
26:59Thomas dropped onto the carpet.
27:01The guards twisted his arms behind his back.
27:03A knee on his spine.
27:04His face pressed to the floor.
27:05He opened his mouth to scream.
27:07Julian came up behind me.
27:08His tall body pressed against mine.
27:10The hardness still there.
27:12Through the silk of my gown.
27:13One of his arms came around.
27:14Caught my waist.
27:15I looked at my own brother.
27:17Pinned.
27:17Helpless.
27:18On the carpet.
27:19Julian's fingers tightened.
27:20The hardness behind me slid against me.
27:22Up.
27:22Down.
27:23My breath broke.
27:24My thighs clamped together inside my skirt.
27:26I leaned back into Julian's chest.
27:28Looked at Thomas on the carpet.
27:31You aren't going anywhere.
27:35Thomas's pounding on the door was sealed away at the end of the corridor.
27:39The estate fell entirely silent.
27:41The next day.
27:43Afternoon.
27:44The library on the second floor.
27:46The old Earl's leather sofa.
27:48Julian had me down on it.
27:50He hadn't removed his jacket.
27:52The rough fabric scraped my thighs.
27:54He tore at the silk of my gown.
27:56The clatter of a belt buckle on the carpet.
27:59He gripped my waist.
28:01Drove down savagely.
28:02The leather sofa beat against the oak panel.
28:05Heavy documents and the inkwell shook loose from the desk.
28:08Scattered.
28:09I threw my head back.
28:11Sweat fell on the leather.
28:14Evening.
28:15The bath chamber.
28:17Steam everywhere.
28:18He walked in.
28:19Pinned me against the wet glass.
28:21Nothing between us.
28:23Skin to skin.
28:24His hardness pushed straight inside.
28:27One hand at my throat.
28:29The other pulled my leg up high.
28:31A savage rhythm.
28:32The glass door shook.
28:34A great noise.
28:35I locked my arms around his broad back.
28:38My nails left deep streaks of blood.
28:40My wide breaths and the impact drowned the sound of water.
28:44From day into night.
28:45From leather sofa to cold tile.
28:48My legs shook every day.
28:50My thighs and knees were covered in deep bruises.
28:53But the moment he stepped close.
28:55The moment that burning hardness came against me.
28:58A fresh helpless wetness spilled out.
29:03The days of indulgence did not last.
29:06That night, a storm.
29:08I stood at the top of the stairs.
29:10My robe was loose.
29:11On the inside of my thigh, the sticky thread left only minutes before.
29:15Crash.
29:16A great, heavy sound.
29:17The oak doors of the great hall were thrown open.
29:20Wind and rain poured in.
29:22The Earl of Ashworth stood in the center of the hall.
29:24Long black coat.
29:26Rainwater ran from his hem and pooled dark on the floor.
29:29He had returned from London.
29:30Early.
29:31The cane in his hand struck the floor.
29:34Tap.
29:35The sound was perfectly clear in the dead estate.
29:37He raised his head.
29:39Cold eyes pinned to my face.
29:41I stepped back half a pace.
29:43My knee struck the wooden banister.
29:45The bruise beneath my stocking pressed against the hard wood.
29:47A fine, dense, cold sweat broke at once across my forehead.
29:51I clutched at the crumpled silk of my skirt.
29:54The burning wetness beneath had been struck cold the moment the wind came through the door.
29:58I stood there.
29:59My chest rising and falling.
30:01Drawing wide, open breaths.
30:03The Earl stared at me.
30:04Beneath his utterly cold gaze.
30:06My thighs clenched themselves together under the gown.
30:09They would not stop trembling.
30:12He drew off the black leather gloves.
30:14Slowly, slap.
30:15The soaked gloves struck the long table.
30:17He stepped forward.
30:19His mud-soaked boot struck the floor.
30:21He raised his head.
30:23That utterly cold gaze passed over my loose robe.
30:26Down the silk skirt I had crushed into deep folds.
30:29Came to rest on my face.
30:31I let go of the hard wooden banister.
30:33Walked down the stairs.
30:35One step at a time.
30:36The sticky thread on the inside of my thigh moved with every step.
30:40Brushed against my skin.
30:42I stopped in front of him.
30:44Raised both hands.
30:45Began to undo the buttons of his black coat.
30:48My fingers shook.
30:50They touched the rough, cold, wet fabric.
30:52They would not bend properly.
30:53Click.
30:54The first button came open.
30:56Slowly.
30:57The Earl did not move.
30:58He stared down at me.
31:00Above us on the stairs.
31:01Leather shoes against wood.
31:03Julian.
31:04Standing in the shadow on the second floor.
31:08He'd thrown his white shirt back on.
31:11Sloppy.
31:11The collar open.
31:13Across his collarbone a fresh red welt.
31:15Both hands in his pockets.
31:17Looking down at the hall.
31:19The corner of his mouth pulling up.
31:21A small, almost smile that meant nothing.
31:24The Earl suddenly raised a hand.
31:27That broad, cold palm closed around my wrist as I worked the buttons.
31:31His thumb pressed down hard.
31:33Onto a dark red bruise on the inside of my wrist.
31:37The print of fingers.
31:38Left ten minutes earlier.
31:40When Julian had pinned me against the leather sofa.
31:43I sucked in a sharp breath.
31:45My teeth broke the skin of my lower lip.
31:47The taste of iron flooded my mouth.
31:51The Earl let go of my wrist.
31:53The dark red bruise had been pressed into deep purple.
31:56He turned.
31:56Took up his cane.
31:57Walked toward the end of the corridor.
31:58The leather boots struck the wooden floor with a heavy beat.
32:01I rushed forward.
32:02My back struck the heavy oak door.
32:04Pressed against it.
32:05Blocking him.
32:05The brass handle on the guest room door was wrapped in a thick chain.
32:09Long nails driven into the window frame.
32:11Why has Thomas not come out?
32:13Ill.
32:13Gravely.
32:14Cannot bear the draft.
32:15The Earl said nothing.
32:16The corridor was utterly silent.
32:18His gaze passed across my loose road.
32:20Slowly across the rough chain.
32:22Came to rest on my eyes.
32:23Five seconds.
32:24He did not reach for the door.
32:26He did not touch the chain.
32:27He only stared down at me.
32:28I leaned against the wood.
32:29Drew short, open breaths.
32:31My legs shook violently beneath the silk.
32:33My knees knocked together.
32:34I couldn't stop them.
32:35The absolute pressure of him crushed me.
32:37But under that dangerous stare, the still damp thread on the inside of my thigh began to burn again.
32:42From deep beneath my skirt, fresh wetness spilled against my will, aching to be filled.
32:48The night was crueler.
32:50The wide marriage bed.
32:52The Earl lay beside me.
32:54In the dark, only his heavy, even breathing.
32:56I lay flat on my back.
32:58My hands clenched the silk corner of the coverlet.
33:01My nails almost cut through.
33:03The bed was clean, solemn.
33:05But my mind was nothing but Julian.
33:08The pin against the wall.
33:09The leather sofa.
33:11The savage, broken breathing.
33:13The brutal impact.
33:15The absolute control.
33:17And the absolute silence they set my body on fire.
33:20I dared not turn.
33:21Dared not make a sound.
33:23I clamped my thighs together.
33:25The wetness between my legs spilled out in great heavy pulses.
33:29Cold sweat soaked my silk nightdress.
33:31In the Earl of Ashworth's bed, I shook to the point of madness.
33:35Fantasizing wildly about his son breaking down the door.
33:38Climbing onto this bed and filling me.
33:43Luncheon.
33:44The long table.
33:45The air was as dead as a stagnant pond.
33:48The servants stood at the wainscotting like wooden posts.
33:51The Earl sat at the head.
33:53The silver knife in his hand.
33:55Cutting slowly at his meat.
33:56I sat at his right.
33:58Julian sat directly across from me.
34:00The Earl bent his head and chewed.
34:03I sat upright in the high-backed chair.
34:05But beneath the heavy linen under the great shadow of the table, I slipped my right heel off.
34:10A small, dull sound.
34:12Drowned by the clink of silver against porcelain.
34:14I extended my foot in its thin silk stocking across the table.
34:19The Earl pressed it against Julian's calf.
34:21Through the rough fabric of his trousers, I dragged the top of my foot up the line of his shinbone.
34:28Slowly.
34:29With weight.
34:30Once.
34:30Again.
34:31The crudest provocation.
34:33Julian's knife stopped.
34:35He slowly raised his head.
34:37Those wild eyes crossed the silver candelabra and pinned me.
34:40The Earl was half a meter away at the head.
34:43Lifting his crystal goblet.
34:45Drinking red wine.
34:47Julian stared.
34:48Beneath the table, his shin lunged forward.
34:50Drove between my feet.
34:52The rough fabric forced its way up.
34:54Pressed savagely against the thin silk.
34:56I sucked in a sharp breath.
34:58My silver fork scraped against the porcelain.
35:01A piercing chime.
35:02The Earl paused.
35:04His cold gaze cut to me.
35:06I bit my lip.
35:07Held my back straight.
35:09Met his eyes.
35:10My head full of how I would draw Julian into a dark corner tonight.
35:14Beneath the table, where no one could see.
35:17My knees closed tight around his leg.
35:19Wetness surged.
35:21Slid down the inside of my thigh.
35:25Next month, you report to the Royal Foot Guards.
35:28I've arranged everything for the family.
35:31The Earl's silver knife cut through a bloody piece of beef.
35:34Red juice seeped onto the snow-white porcelain.
35:37A perfectly flat sentence.
35:40In the dead dining room, it struck like thunder.
35:43My knees clamped on Julian's calf beneath the table went rigid.
35:46Clatter.
35:47The crystal goblet slipped out of my hand.
35:50Hit the floor.
35:51Glass shattered.
35:53Deep red wine sprayed everywhere.
35:55Bright red.
35:56The Earl stopped chewing.
35:57His gaze crossed the long table.
35:59Settled on my face.
36:01Three servants rushed in.
36:03Dropped to their knees to clean.
36:04I sat upright in the high-backed chair, drawing short, open breaths.
36:09The wetness between my thighs burning hot a moment ago went cold.
36:12Julian did not look at the broken glass on the floor.
36:15He slowly drew his leg out from between mine.
36:18Set down his knife and fork.
36:20Leaned back into the high-backed chair.
36:22Drew a long breath.
36:24Let it out slowly.
36:25The aggression that had wrapped around him day and night,
36:28the ready-to-bite menace, all of it, lifted clean off him in that moment.
36:31His eyes crossed the silver candelabra, looked at my chalk-white face.
36:36He tilted his head a fraction.
36:38The corner of his mouth pulled up slowly into a faint smile.
36:42No anger.
36:42No fight.
36:44Just a kind of relief.
36:46The kind that comes when something inevitable has at last arrived.
36:50One word from this old man who held absolute power and the bodily abandonment I had thrown my dignity away
36:55for was ground to powder.
36:59Luncheon ended.
37:00The earl dropped his napkin, took up his cane, walked toward the library.
37:06The leather of his boots struck the floor with a sounding rhythm.
37:09The sound disappeared at the end of the corridor.
37:12I stood up.
37:13The silk of my long gown clung against my shaking legs.
37:16I was not afraid.
37:18Julian had accepted his sentence.
37:20I had not.
37:22A twisted hatred born of absolute submission churned in me.
37:25That old man had taken my youth.
37:27Now he meant to cut away easily the one outlet I had.
37:31I stared at Julian.
37:33Bit through my lower lip.
37:34The taste of iron flooded my mouth.
37:37I turned.
37:38Looked down the deepest part of the second floor corridor.
37:41There.
37:42The earl's master bedroom.
37:43The cleanest, most exalted forbidden room of the estate.
37:47If he meant to end it.
37:48Tonight, I would push open that door myself.
37:51On that bed, the symbol of his absolute dignity, I would open my legs without restraint.
37:55I would have his son, who had just surrendered, drive into me in the lowest, most savage way.
38:01I would leave that old man's dignity and his sheets a complete ruin.
38:08I stood barefoot in front of the master bedroom door, my hand on the cold brass handle, footsteps on the
38:15stairs.
38:16Julian came up.
38:17He'd taken off his coat, held it in his hand, his cravat undone, loose around his neck.
38:23He had accepted the old man's arrangement.
38:25He was on his way to his rooms on the third floor.
38:28I blocked him in the middle of the corridor.
38:31He stopped, looked at me.
38:33The corner of his mouth pulled up a tired, temperature-less smile.
38:38Get to bed, mother.
38:39It's over.
38:41It's over.
38:43Pitched low, carrying a final, resigned acceptance.
38:47He moved to step past me.
38:49I caught his wrist.
38:51My ten fingers clenched.
38:53Nails dug into the flesh of his forearm.
38:55He stopped, turned his head.
38:57I said nothing.
39:00I only stared at him.
39:03My other hand found the collar of my silk gown.
39:06Snap.
39:06The first button came open.
39:08The second.
39:09The third.
39:10I caught the fabric in both hands.
39:13Pulled it apart.
39:14The heavy gown slid down my thighs.
39:16Fell on the wooden floor.
39:18Cold air struck me.
39:20The corridor was dead silent.
39:22Julian's eyes locked.
39:23I gripped his wrist.
39:25Pulled it forward.
39:27Pressed his warm palm directly against my bare chest.
39:30I stepped back.
39:31My back pushed open the oak door of the master bedroom.
39:37The hinge turned silent.
39:38The room in that wide bed of the Earl of Ashworth, made up with snow-white silk, was exposed in
39:43the dark.
39:43The most untouchable forbidden room of the estate.
39:46I looked into his eyes.
39:48My breath fell on his jaw.
39:49One last time.
39:50On his bed.
39:51Now.
39:52Julian looked at me.
39:53His gaze went over my shoulder.
39:55To the bed.
39:56The resignation in his eyes under absolute madness cracked apart by inches.
40:00His throat moved.
40:01Hard.
40:01His breathing turned heavy at once.
40:03Slop.
40:04He dropped his coat to the corridor floor.
40:06He caught the back of my neck with one hand.
40:08His tall body drove forward.
40:10He stepped into the master bedroom.
40:12Click.
40:13The heavy oak door he shut it behind us.
40:15Bolted it.
40:17Julian slammed me down onto the snow-white silk.
40:20No wasted motion.
40:21He undid the belt.
40:22Brutally drove straight inside.
40:23I threw my head back.
40:24The back of my skull struck the Earl's pillow.
40:26One wall away the library.
40:28The muffled creak of a leather chair.
40:29The scratch of a pen across paper.
40:31The old Earl was in the next room.
40:33The snow-white sheet was destroyed in seconds.
40:35Julian gripped my waist.
40:36A heavy, ceaseless rhythm.
40:38The heavy oak frame came to rock.
40:39The legs slammed against the floor.
40:41A pounding so loud it shook the walls.
40:43Sweat fell from his chin onto the silk.
40:45My hands locked around his broad back.
40:47My nails dug deep into the flesh.
40:49Cut long streaks of blood.
40:50The blood and the sweat ran together.
40:52He drove down.
40:53The cruelest thrust.
40:54I threw my head back.
40:55My throat strained.
40:56I could no longer hold my lip.
40:57A sharp, broken cry tore out of my throat.
41:00In the empty estate, the sound was deafening.
41:02In the same second, he locked his arms around me.
41:05His body went rigid.
41:06A muffled, broken sound.
41:08Scalding wetness poured into me.
41:09The air went dead.
41:10The scratch of the pen in the library stopped.
41:12The leather chair was silent.
41:14In the corridor, heavy leather boots.
41:16One step, another, stopped outside the master bedroom door.
41:18Crap.
41:19A terrible splintering noise.
41:21The heavy oak door was hacked through from outside by a long stone.
41:24The metal bolt broke loose.
41:25Clattered to the floor.
41:26Splinters flew.
41:27Lightning split the window.
41:29The bone-white flash lit up the room.
41:30The arrow of ashworth stood in the door.
41:32Dressed in black.
41:33A cold, gleaming crusader's sword in his hand.
41:35Rainwater still ran from the heat.
41:37No expression.
41:38Cold.
41:39Dead.
41:39His gates passed over the splintered door.
41:41Pinned itself on the ruined front.
41:42On the two bodies still joined.
41:45Two bodies still
42:14You
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