- 1 day ago
Dear My Countess
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Listen, my Countess, you're so desperate right now, aren't you?
00:07Go to your bedroom. I left you a gift. Go up. Enjoy it.
00:13That low, damp voice, as if pressed right against my ear. Click. The line went dead.
00:20I dragged my unsteady legs back to the bedroom. Bolted the door. On the vanity, a black velvet box.
00:27No card. I went rigid. I scanned the room. The dark drapes. The wardrobe. The shadow under
00:34the bed. The room was silent. Empty. I unwrapped it with shaking hands. Inside, a piece of oriental
00:42white porcelain. Shaped like a dolphin. But the curve of it was wrong. Too thick. Too rounded.
00:49Tilted at the tip in a way that suggested something obscene. Something made me reach
00:53for it. My hand closed around it. The porcelain was cold. My palm was scalding. I traced my fingertip
01:00up that smooth edge. The cold hardness against the heat of my skin. I lifted my head to the mirror.
01:06The woman looking back at me had a face flushed crimson. Her chest was heaving. She was breathing
01:12hard. In great open mouthfuls. A sleepless night. Julian came back at first light. The old earl's
01:20legitimate earl. Twenty-two years old. In a pressed, dark suit. He stood in the center of the great
01:27hall like a flawless English gentleman. But as he stepped closer, that young man's ear, aggressive,
01:33predatory, it closed in on me. He stopped. Bowed his head. His large hand caught my wrist. Lifted the
01:41back of my hand to his lips. His mouth brushed the cold of my skin. Hot. Frightening. Every bit of
01:48heat
01:48I had only just suppressed surged back. He didn't release me. He slowly raised his head. There was
01:54no respect in his eyes. None of the deference owed to one's stepmother. His gaze slid from my face down
02:00to my chest. Without restraint. Like a pair of rough hands. They tore my fussy gown to ribbons in an
02:07instant.
02:08Stripped my wanton body bare beneath. As though he could see exactly how I'd held that porcelain
02:14dolphin last night. Exactly how I'd breathed. I sucked in a sharp breath. Pulled my hand back
02:20hard. I straightened my spine. Held myself in the bearing of a countess. Tried to warn him off with
02:26cold posture alone. I didn't dare open my mouth. A fine layer of sweat was already breaking out down
02:32my back. Beneath the heavy silk, I pressed my thighs together. Doing everything I could to hide that one
02:38look from him had already made me tremble. That obscene piece of white porcelain sitting on my
02:45vanity. The shape was a dolphin. He set down his knife and fork. Lifted his crystal goblet. His eyes
02:52pinned to my face. Clear and ringing in the dead silence of the dining room. Did you know? They are
02:58the most wantral creatures in the natural world. Second only to us. Mate to breed. They mate for pleasure.
03:05They rub. They satisfy themselves with abandon. He took a sip of red wine. His throat moved. His eyes
03:13stayed fixed on me. On my flushed, choking face. On my ruined breathing. Then the corner of his mouth
03:20lifted into a small, cruel smile. What did he know? Or was it suggestion? Rain outside. Heavy. It hammered the
03:29glass. I could not sleep. I went to the door. Turned the key. Click. I bolted myself inside. I stripped
03:37off the heavy restrictive gown. Layer by layer, I peeled away every piece of fabric that stood for
03:42propriety. I struck a match. Lit a single candle on the vanity. In the dim light, I opened the black
03:49velvet box. I took out the oriental porcelain. The shape of a dolphin. Full, rounded, tilted at the tip.
03:57Its surface was cold. My fingers gripped it until the knuckles went white. I carried it to the edge of
04:03the bed. Sat down. The only sound was the rain. My legs wouldn't stop trembling. I pressed my knees
04:10together. My stockings whispered against each other. I couldn't stop. They rub. They satisfy themselves
04:17with abandon. Julian's words at lunch, ringing in my ears with terrible clarity. A countess's dignity.
04:24A countess's morality. Both shattered on this rain-swept night. I stopped fighting. I closed my eyes.
04:32Tilted my head back. Drew long, open-mouthed breaths. I gripped that cold, depraved porcelain.
04:39And slowly, slowly, lay back across the tangled sheet.
04:46Five consecutive nights. The telephone in the corridor rang at midnight without fail. Each time
04:52I lifted the receiver, only that cheap tavern tune, and his aggressive, panting breath. I gripped the
04:59receiver, said nothing, did not hang up. I listened to him describe the most depraved fantasies he had
05:05of me in the foulest words. By day, the estate became another, more dangerous cage. Julian was always
05:13there, in the narrow corridors, at the bend of the stairs. Always too close, whenever I wasn't
05:20expecting him. He never gave way. As we passed, his broad shoulder would brush my arm. Even through the
05:27heavy silk of my gown, his young man's body heat was startling. He turned his head, just slightly,
05:33pressed his mouth near my ear, murmured one word, mother. His voice low, damp, almost wet. The same
05:42tone as the man on the telephone, the one who said he'd pin me to the wall. I froze in
05:47place. My fingers
05:48clenched the hem of my gown, crushed the costly fabric in my fist. I didn't dare turn around. I just
05:54walked away in my heels, half fled. My defenses were being shredded layer by layer. By day, I was
06:01terrified of this perfect, suited stepson. By midnight, I stood like a madwoman in the cold
06:07corridor, staring at that black telephone, desperate for it to ring. Luncheon. A long table covered in
06:14snow-white linen. The cold ring of silver against porcelain. Three servants stood at the wall like
06:20wooden posts. Heads bowed. Motionless, Julian sat directly across from me. White shirt. Immaculate.
06:28Cravat perfect. He cut a piece of bloody beef. The silver knife shrieked against the plate. He placed
06:35the meat in his mouth. Spoke as though it were nothing. Mother, last week I went out to see a
06:41play
06:41with some friends. I saw a pod of dolphins. The word dolphins detonated in my skull.
06:50Get out! Julian took in the disordered sheet, the piece of porcelain still in my hand. My breath
06:55stopped. I grabbed at the silk coverlet in a panic, pulled it up to cover myself. I tried for the
07:00bearing
07:00of a countess. My voice broke. He didn't move. Then he turned and locked the door behind him. Click.
07:05Piercing in the dead room, he walked to the bed, one step at a time. His tall shadow closed over
07:10me. He leaned
07:11down. Hands braced on either side of me. His hot, young man's breath struck my collarbone. Then he
07:16parted his lips. Hummed very low a few rough notes. The cheap tavern gramophone too. The one from the
07:21telephone. My eyes went wide. No sound came out of my throat. He reached out. Through the thin silk
07:27coverlet precisely he closed his hand over the porcelain in mine. Closed his hand around my hand. He tore the
07:32silk coverlet aside. My body was bare to the cold air. His other hand braced beside my head. His tall
07:37body
07:38pressed down. He gripped my hand. Forced me to hold the porcelain. Guided my hand downward. Pressed. The
07:43full, tilted tip of the dolphin pushed up into me. It appears the piece I collected myself. Suits mother's
07:49tastes very well. I lay on the disordered sheet. Eyes closed. The weak candlelight flickered against
07:57my eyelids. I held the porcelain dolphin. Slowly slid it downward. Cold. Hard. Absolutely smooth. It traced
08:04down my skin all the way. I tucked my chin. Bit down on my lower lip. The upward curve of
08:09the porcelain
08:09found. Precisely. The place that needed it most. I clutched the silk sheet on the other hand. White
08:14knuckles. I began to move it along that curve. Once. Again. Vesta. Short. Broken breaths. Sweat slid down
08:20the sheet. Onto the cold porcelain. The sheet was twisted out of shape. My thighs shook inside their
08:25lace. My knees knocked together. They rub. They satisfy themselves. I couldn't control it. A choked
08:32breath tore out of my throat. In that rain-soaked room the sound was deafening. I had thrown away
08:37every shred of dignity. Panting like an animal over a piece of porcelain. Unable to stop. Just
08:43as I was about to come apart entirely. Click. The smallest turn of metal. The spare key turned in
08:47the lock. The door pushed open. Light from the corridor flooded in. Julie still in his daytime
08:52suit. Standing in the doorway. His eyes cold, deliberate, fell on me.
09:00He began to move my hand. Once. Again. Brutal. I tried to close my legs. He drove them apart with
09:07his knee. The cold porcelain pressed and rubbed without mercy. Sweat ran from my forehead. I clenched
09:13my teeth. My other hand pushed the silk into deep folds. His wrist jerked. That cold hard thing broke
09:20past the last defense. Pushed deep into the burning heat of it. I could no longer hold my lip between
09:26my teeth. He drove my hand inside me with savage force. The shock of cold and burning heat together.
09:32My thighs convulsed. I threw my head back. My neck strained. My body shook to its limit. I came apart
09:39in his
09:39hand. Slowly he drew my hand out. He lifted the porcelain in front of my face. From the rounded tip,
09:45a long glistening thread of moisture trailed in the candles, trembling. He stared at that thread.
09:50A scalding breath struck my face. The corner of his mouth pulled up in a cruel smile.
09:55Flattered. The porcelain fell to the convent. In the quiet room, the bright snap of a metal belt buckle being
10:01undone.
10:01Look at yourself, mother. You really are just like those dolphins. Utterly wanton.
10:09The hardness and heat of a young man instantly replacing that cold porcelain pressed against me.
10:14But he did not enter. He only dragged himself along the burning heat between my thighs. Cruel. Slow.
10:20The hollow ache, after the friction of the porcelain, was unbearable. He stared at me with raw violence
10:26in his eyes. His sweat dripped on my collarbone. He was waiting for me to give up the last of
10:30my dignity.
10:31I clenched my teeth. What reason I had left forced me to shrink back. My hands pushed at his hard
10:36chest.
10:37My fingertips were shaking. I begging him to stop. He stared at my flushed face.
10:42The corner of his mouth pulled into a wicked smile.
10:47I tried to push him off. My hands locked around his back instead. My nails sank into the firm flesh.
10:53Cut bright streaks of blood. The silk sheet snagged in my grip. He went on. Fast. Without consideration.
10:59Heavy drops of his sweat fell on my collarbone and mixed with mine. Open your eyes.
11:03Horse. Commanding. His fingers caught my chin. Forced my face up. I opened my eyes. Shaking.
11:09The mask of the perfect gentleman was gone. The veins at his temple stood up. His throat moved.
11:14His eyes were dark. The lofty young air was because of my 30-year-old body drowning in his own
11:19pleasure.
11:19Watching him this undone because of me set off something I couldn't make. The burning heat between
11:24my thighs spilled out more wetness. Where we met was a ruin. What was left of my reason snapped.
11:32He stopped abruptly. Pulled back an inch. The pressure vanished. Cold air rushed in. My legs
11:38were ruined. I couldn't help it. My back arched forward. My thighs wrapped around his waist. Like
11:43a mad woman, I pressed myself against him. A small, humiliating whimper rose from my throat. He
11:48looked at my thighs locked around his waist. The malice in his eyes ignited fully. Every night you stand in
11:54that corridor and answer the telephone, mother. Is this what you've been imagining until you went mad?
11:59His voice dropped lower. Mocking. Naked. I bit my lip. I had no answer. He drove down onto me again.
12:05Still not crossing the last line. He used that hardness only to slide brutally savage. Fast
12:11against the burning heat of me. The full weight of him. The frequency of it. It destroyed what reason
12:16I had left. I threw my head back. The line of my throat strained tight. The heavy oak bed began
12:20to rock.
12:21The legs slammed against the floor. A terrible pounding.
12:27He went savage. Harder. Then harder. I threw my head back. My nails tore into his body. My body
12:33convulsed under one savage thrust. I came apart beneath him. In the same instant, his arm tightened
12:39around my waist. His body bowed taut as a drawn string. A muffled, broken sound. Scalding wetness,
12:45a young man spilled across my belly and the inside of my thighs. The heavy oak bed at last stopped
12:50striking the floor. I lay collapsed on the wrecked silk sheet, drawing huge open breaths, trembling
12:56everywhere. The hot wetness slid down my skin. The shame of being used like a thing to be ground
13:00against used and released fell over me. My eyes burned. But the real deep pleasure he had drawn out
13:06of me was so undeniable that my heart, in this despair, kept pounding wildly.
13:13Then he stood up straight. He didn't look at me. Did up his belt. He walked to the door without
13:18a word.
13:19Click. The door opened. Shut hard. The corridor light disappeared. The room fell dead silent again.
13:25I lay on the ruined sheet, drawing black. The wetness on my skin was going cold. He had thrown me
13:29away,
13:30like a thing he had used. Pressed against on the bed. Rubbed against until he was satisfied. Then
13:35discarded. The humiliation rose. I clenched my teeth. My nails dug into my palms. Tears mixed with sweat
13:42fell on the pillow. The days that followed, he was worse. Whenever no one was watching,
13:46he closed the distance. At the bend of the afternoon corridor. In the airless glass house. In the dust-laden
13:51air. This forbidden disorder held until my brother arrived. I should never have agreed to let him come.
14:01It destroyed him. It destroyed me. The heavy oak doors swung in. Thomas walked in with his case.
14:0719 years old. In a thin shirt. Clean. Unguarded. I stood in the great hall. Julian stood at my side.
14:15Thomas came forward. Greeted me, sister. Then turned to Julian. Held out a stiff, polite hand. Julian did
14:23not take it at once. His gaze moved slowly over Thomas' face. Across the tense line of his jaw. Down
14:30to
14:30the throat that moved as Thomas swallowed nervously. In the great hall, there was only the sound of the
14:35clock. I stood half a step away. I heard Julian's breathing deepen. His throat moved. The dangerous
14:42excitement in his eyes flared all at once. The look of a starving hunter sighting prey. More avid,
14:48more greedy than when he'd pinned me to a wall at midnight. He extended his hand. His broad, rough palm
14:54closed around Thomas' hand and squeezed tight. Welcome to the estate, Thomas. Very low. Damp.
15:00Aggressive. Watching his gaze warm because of Thomas, every drop of blood in my body went cold. Ice ran up
15:07my
15:07spine to the base of my skull. Cold sweat broke down my back. Julian had stopped seeing me entirely.
15:15For days, his eyes never settled on me. Not for a second. He had gone to Thomas. That afternoon,
15:20the photography darkroom of the estate. The heavy door was ajar. A line of dim red light. I stopped
15:25outside. Through the narrow gap Thomas at the basin. Julian behind him. The small distance between them
15:31gone entirely. Julian's tall body pressed down. His broad chest against Thomas' thin back. He reached
15:36around from behind. Folded both arms around Thomas. Those large hands, the ones that had gripped my
15:41waist at midnight, now covered the backs of Thomas' hands. Guided them down into the developing fluid.
15:46The surface trembled. Julian bent his head. His mouth brushed Thomas' ear. He spoke low, slow,
15:52damp. The same tone I had heard every midnight in the telephone. Thomas did not know how to develop a
15:56photograph. He stood frozen. His thin shoulders shook against Julian's burning chest. Their breath
16:01tangled in the red light. The heat that had been mine. The violence that had been mine. All of it
16:06transferred. I stood in the cold corridor. My fist clenched. My nails sank into my palm. Sharp pain.
16:12A bead of blood seeped through my fingers. Wet and sticky in my hand. I stared at the two figures
16:17pressed together in the gap of the door. Whatever sense I had left burned to ash. I had to do
16:21something.
16:23Deep night. The corridor was dead silent. I stopped at the end of the corridor. Near Thomas' guest room.
16:30The heavy door wasn't fully shut. A narrow line of yellow light spilled across my shoes. I heard them.
16:38Thomas' breathing fast. Defenseless. The breathing of someone already lost. Already past resisting.
16:45Then Julian's voice. Very low. Very slow. With that damp tone I had heard so many nights in the corridor
16:52telephone.
16:52He was drawing Thomas across the last line. I stared through the gap. Julian's dark coat lay on the carpet.
16:58His tall body had Thomas pressed against the edge of the bed. Thomas' trousers were already loosened.
17:04The same large hands that had gripped me, used me, were now between Thomas' open lines. The muscles in Julian's
17:11arm
17:11cast. A strong, controlling rhythm. Fast. Heavy. Up and down. The wet, sticky sound was loud in the dead room.
17:19Thomas made a single broken sound. My violence. My hardness. He was about to give all of it to someone
17:26else. The bright snap of a metal belt buckle from inside the room. Clatter. The sound struck my ear.
17:32I stood outside the door. Stared at the suit jacket on the carpet. I raised my hand. Closed it around
17:38the
17:38cold brass handle. Without hesitation. Pushed the door open. A loud crack. The brass handle slammed into
17:47the wall. Thomas flinched. His face flushed scarlet. He stared at me with horror and shock. Shirt open. In
17:53disarray. I didn't look at him. I looked at Julian. On the edge of the bed. His hand was still
17:57between
17:57Thomas' legs. Motion stopped. That wet, grating friction gone. He slowly raised his head. The
18:03dangerous excitement in his eyes. A cold smile pulling at his mouth. I walked to the bed in my
18:08heels. Step by step. Thomas' voice trembled. He fumbled at his fallen trousers. I ignored him
18:15entirely. I stared straight at Julian. Both hands catching the sash of my robe. I pulled hard. The
18:20robe fell open white skin. Nothing beneath but lace. I lifted my leg. In front of my own brother I
18:25climbed astride Julian's thigh. Through the rough trousers of his suit. I pressed down on the
18:29hardness already weighted. My hands pressed his broad shoulders. My thighs were shaking violently.
18:35I caught his hand, the one that had just been working Thomas, and pressed it flat against my chest.
18:39Let him go. The last thing you want. I will give it to you. Now, take me. This instant.
18:53Julian didn't refuse. He smiled with genuine interest. He tore the last barrier away. The rough fabric of
19:01his trousers scraped my thighs. He locked his hands around my waist. Drove up into me. His hardness broke
19:08into me at once. Without mercy, I sat astride his thigh. In front of Thomas. I pressed my hands on
19:14his
19:14shoulders. I began to drive myself down. Once. Again. The heavy bed frame rocked. The legs slammed
19:22against the floorboards. A great, terrible pounding. I threw my head back. I could not hold the sound.
19:28Wide open breaths echoed in the room. Sweat slid down my throat. Across the torn lace. Thomas was huddled
19:35at the side of the bed. Frozen. His eyes were red. Locked in horror on the place where Julian and
19:41I were
19:41joined. Julian leaned back against the headboard. A wild fire in his eyes. One hand gripped my waist.
19:48Controlled how deep I went. The pace. His other hand reached for Thomas. That broad palm caught my
19:54brother's chin. The thumb moved. Slow. Back and forth across Thomas's trembling lips. Are you watching
20:00closely, Thomas? Look at your dignified, virtuous sister. Look at how she rides a man. See how wanted she is.
20:09I shook all over. I clenched my teeth. I didn't stop. I stared at Julian. My movement turned wilder.
20:17Heaven. Frequent friction. The impact was deafening. A final savage thrust. He locked my waist. His body
20:24went rigid. A muffled, broken sound. Scalding wetness filled me. I collapsed against his chest,
20:30drawing huge breaths. My thighs trembled against his trousers. He released my waist. That hand slipped
20:37down. Brushed across the edge of where we were still joined. His rough fingertip came away coated. A long,
20:43glistening thread of wetness. He reached for Thomas again. The fingertip pressed against Thomas's lips.
20:49He smeared the wetness across them, without restraint. Do you want it? Your sister's taste? And mine? In a few
21:00days,
21:01I'll give it to you. I lay against his sweat-soaked chest. The words struck my ear with terrible clarity.
21:07My hand closed slowly into a fist. My ten fingers clenched the sheet beneath us.
21:13After that night, everything changed. The music of an evening reception drifted through the great hall.
21:19I stood behind a pillar. I watched Thomas's eyes follow Julian. I walked over. I caught Julian's wrist.
21:27I pulled him straight into the storeroom at the end of the corridor. I locked the door behind us. No
21:32lamp.
21:33I stared at him. My hands caught the straps of my gown. I pulled them down hard. Tearing. Fabric splitting.
21:39The heavy silk fell to my waist. I stepped forward. Pressed myself against him. His rough suit scraped
21:45my skin. I caught his broad hands. Pressed them against my open dress. He caught my waist. Spun me
21:52around. Pinned me to the heavy wooden door. The bright click of a belt buckle. He drove into me without
21:58mercy. The door pounded against its frame. I dug my hands into the wood. Pushed my back against him. Met
22:05every brutal
22:06stroke. His scalding sweat fell on my back. Your brother is still looking for me in the hole.
22:13He doesn't deserve it. Give it to me. His fingers on my waist tightened. Nearly dug into the flesh.
22:21He turned savage. A heavy, ceaseless rhythm. I threw my head back. My throat strained. In the dark of the
22:28storeroom. Only the slap of flesh and the ragged brow.
22:33Crack. The storeroom door was kicked open. Thomas in the doorway. His eyes red rimmed. His chest
22:38heaving. He stared at the two of us. Disbelief written all over his face. I'm going to London.
22:44I'm going to write to the Earl. I'm writing everything down. Everything you've done.
22:49Come. Hold him. I calmly straightened my skirt. Steadied my breath with Julian. Watched him come
22:56apart. The guards moved forward. Caught Thomas by the arm. Thomas struggled. A guard kicked behind his
23:01knees. Thomas dropped onto the carpet. The guards twisted his arms behind his back. A knee on his
23:06spine. His face pressed to the floor. He opened his mouth to scream. Julian came up behind me. His tall
23:11body pressed against mine. The hardness still there. Through the silk of my gown, one of his arms came around.
23:17Caught my waist. I looked at my own brother. Pinned. Helpless. On the carpet, Julian's fingers
23:22tightened. The hardness behind me slid against me. Up. Down. My breath broke. My thighs clamped
23:27together inside my skirt. I leaned back into Julian's chest. Looked at Thomas on the carpet.
23:34You aren't going anywhere.
23:38Thomas' pounding on the door was sealed away at the end of the corridor. The estate fell entirely silent.
23:44The next day. Afternoon. The library on the second floor. The old Earl's leather sofa. Julian had me
23:51down on it. He hadn't removed his jacket. The rough fabric scraped my thighs. He tore at the silk of
23:58my
23:58gown. The clatter of a belt buckle on the carpet. He gripped my waist. Drove down savagely. The leather
24:05sofa beat against the oak paneling. Heavy documents and the inkwell shook loose from the desk. Scattered.
24:11I threw my head back. Sweat fell on the leather.
24:17Evening. The bath chamber. Steam everywhere. He walked in. Pinned me against the wet glass.
24:24Nothing between us. Skin to skin. His hardness pushed straight inside. One hand at my throat. The other
24:32pulled my leg up high. A savage rhythm. The glass door shook. A great noise. I locked my arms around
24:39his broad back. My nails left deep streaks of blood. My wide breaths and the impact drowned the sound of
24:46water. From day into night. From leather sofa to cold tile. My legs shook every day. My thighs and knees
24:54were covered in deep bruises. But the moment he stepped close. The moment that burning hardness
24:59came against me. A fresh helpless wetness spilled out.
25:06He drew off the black leather gloves. Slowly. Slap. The soaked gloves struck the long table. He
25:11stepped forward. His mud-soaked boots struck the floor. He raised his head. That utterly cold gaze
25:18passed over my loose robe. Down the silk skirt I had crushed into deep folds. Came to rest on my
25:24face.
25:24I let go of the hard wooden banister. Walked down the stairs. One step at a time. The sticky thread
25:31on the inside of my thigh moved with every step. Brushed against my skin. I stopped in front of him.
25:38Raised both hands. Began to undo the buttons of his black coat. My fingers shook. They touched the rough
25:44cold wet fabric. They would not bend properly. Click. The first button came open. Slowly. The earl did not move.
25:51He stared down at me. Above us on the stairs. Leather shoes against wood. Julian. Standing in the shadow
25:59on the second floor. The days of indulgence did not last. That night. A storm. I stood at the top
26:08of the stairs. My robe was loose. On the inside of my thigh. The sticky thread left only minutes before.
26:14Crash. A great, heavy sound. The oak doors of the great hall were thrown open. Wind and rain poured in.
26:20The earl of Ashworth stood in the center of the hall. Long black coat. Rainwater ran from his hem
26:26and pooled dark on the floor. He had returned from London. Early. The cane in his hand struck the floor.
26:33Tap. The sound was perfectly clear in the dead estate. He raised his head. Cold eyes pinned to my face.
26:39I stepped back half a pace. My knee struck the wooden banister. The bruise beneath my stocking
26:45pressed against the hard wood. A fine, dense, cold sweat broke at once across my forehead. I clutched at
26:51the crumpled silk of my skirt. The burning wetness beneath had been struck cold the moment the wind
26:56came through the door. I stood there, my chest rising and falling, drawing wide, open breaths.
27:02The earl stared at me beneath his utterly cold gaze. My thighs clenched themselves together under the gown.
27:08They would not stop trembling.
27:11The earl let go of my wrist. The dark red bruise had been pressed into deep purple. He turned,
27:16took up his cane, walked toward the end of the corridor. The leather boots struck the wooden
27:20floor with a heavy beat. I rushed forward. My back struck the heavy oak door, pressed against it,
27:25blocking him. The brass handle on the guest room door was wrapped in a thick chain, long nails driven
27:29into the window frame. Why has Thomas not come out? Ill, gravely, cannot bear the draft. The earl said
27:36nothing. The corridor was utterly silent. His gaze passed across my loose robe, slowly across the rough
27:41chain. Came to rest on my eyes. Five seconds. He did not reach for the door. He did not touch
27:46the chain.
27:47He only stared down at me. I leaned against the wood, drew short, open breaths. My legs shook violently
27:52beneath the silk. My knees knocked together. I couldn't stop them. The absolute pressure of him
27:56crushed me. But under that dangerous stare, the still damp thread on the inside of my thigh began
28:01to burn again. From deep beneath my skirt, fresh wetness spilled against my will, aching to be filled.
28:09He'd thrown his white shirt back on. Sloppy. The collar open. Across his collarbone a fresh red welt.
28:16Both hands in his pockets. Looking down at the hall. The corner of his mouth pulling up.
28:22A small, almost smile that meant nothing. The earl suddenly raised a hand. That broad,
28:28cold palm closed around my wrist as I worked the buttons. His thumb pressed down hard. Onto a dark
28:35red bruise on the inside of my wrist. The print of fingers. Left ten minutes earlier. When Julian had
28:41pinned me against the leather sofa. I sucked in a sharp breath. My teeth broke the skin of my lower
28:47lip.
28:47The taste of iron flooded my mouth.
28:51The night was crueler. The wide marriage bed. The earl lay beside me. In the dark, only his heavy,
28:58even breathing. I lay flat on my back. My hands clenched the silk corner of the coverlet. My nails
29:04almost cut through. The bed was clean, solemn. But my mind was nothing but Julian. The pin against the wall.
29:12The leather sofa. The savage, broken breathing. The brutal impact. The absolute control. And the
29:20absolute silence they set my body on fire. I dared not turn. Dared not make a sound. I clamped my
29:27thighs
29:27together. The wetness between my legs spilled out in great heavy pulses. Cold sweat soaked my silk nightdress.
29:34In the earl of Ashworth's bed, I shook to the point of madness. Fantasizing wildly about his son breaking
29:40down the door. Climbing onto this bed and filling me. Luncheon. The long table. The air was as dead as
29:49a stagnant pond. The servant stood at the wainscotting like wooden posts. The earl sat at the head. The
29:56silver knife in his hand. Cutting slowly at his meat. I sat at his right. Julian sat directly across from
30:03me.
30:03The earl bent his head and chewed. I sat upright in the high back chair. But beneath the heavy linen
30:09under the great shadow of the table, I slipped my right heel off. A small, dull sound. Drowned by
30:15the clink of silver against porcelain, I extended my foot in its thin silk stocking across the table,
30:22pressed it against Julian's calf. Through the rough fabric of his trousers, I dragged the top of my foot
30:28up the line of his shinbone. Slowly. With weight. Once. Again. The crudest provocation. Julian's knife
30:37stopped. He slowly raised his head. Those wild eyes crossed the silver candelabra and pinned me.
30:43The earl was half a meter away at the head. Lifting his crystal goblet. Drinking red wine. Julian
30:50stared. Beneath the table, his shin lunged forward. Drove between my feet. The rough fabric forced its way up,
30:56pressed savagely against the thin silk. I sucked in a sharp breath. My silver fork scraped against
31:02the porcelain. A piercing chime. The earl paused. His cold gaze cut to me. I bit my lip. Held my
31:10back
31:11straight. Met his eyes. My head full of how I would draw Julian into a dark corner tonight. Beneath the
31:17table where no one could see. My knees closed tight around his leg. Wetness surged. Slid down the inside
31:25of my thigh. Next month, you report to the royal foot guards. I've arranged everything for the family.
31:34The earl's silver knife cut through a bloody piece of beef. Red juice seeped onto the snow-white porcelain.
31:40A perfectly flat sentence. In the dead dining room, it struck like thunder. My knees clamped on
31:47Julian's calf beneath the table went rigid. Clatter. The crystal goblet slipped out of my hand. Hit the
31:53floor. Glass shattered. Deep red wine sprayed everywhere. Bright red. The earl stopped chewing.
32:00His gaze crossed the long table. Settled on my face. Three servants rushed in. Dropped to their knees to
32:06clean. I sat upright in the high back chair. Drawing short, open breaths. The wetness between my
32:13thighs burning hot a moment ago went cold. Julian did not look at the broken glass on the floor.
32:18He slowly drew his leg out from between mine. Set down his knife and fork. Leaned back into the high
32:24back chair. Drew a long breath. Let it out slowly. The aggression that had wrapped around him day and
32:30night, the ready-to-bite menace, all of it, lifted clean off him in that moment. His eyes crossed the
32:36silver candelabra. Looked at my chalk white face. He tilted his head a fraction. The corner of his
32:42mouth pulled up slowly into a faint smile. No anger. No fight. Just a kind of relief. The kind that
32:49comes
32:49when something inevitable has at last arrived. One word from this old man who held absolute power and
32:55the bodily abandonment I had thrown my dignity away for was ground to powder.
33:02Luncheon ended. The earl dropped his napkin. Took up his cane. Walked toward the library. The leather
33:09of his boots struck the floor with a sounding rhythm. The sound disappeared at the end of the corridor.
33:14I stood up. The silk of my long gown clung against my shaking legs. I was not afraid. Julian had
33:22accepted
33:22his sentence. I had not. A twisted hatred born of absolute submission churned in me. That old man had
33:29taken my youth. Now he meant to cut away easily the one outlet I had. I stared at Julian. Bit
33:36through my
33:36lower lip. The taste of iron flooded my mouth. I turned. Looked down the deepest part of the second
33:42floor corridor. There. The earl's master bedroom. The cleanest, most exalted forbidden room of the estate.
33:49If he meant to end it. Tonight, I would push open that door myself. On that bed, the symbol of
33:55his absolute
33:56dignity, I would open my legs without restraint. I would have his son, who had just surrendered, drive
34:01into me in the lowest, most savage way. I would leave that old man's dignity and his sheets a complete
34:07ruin.
34:11I stood barefoot in front of the master bedroom door. My hand on the cold brass handle. Footsteps on the
34:18stairs.
34:18Julian came up. He'd taken off his coat. Held it in his hand. His cravat undone. Loose around his neck.
34:26He had accepted the old man's arrangement. He was on his way to his rooms on the third floor.
34:31I blocked him in the middle of the corridor. He stopped. Looked at me. The corner of his mouth
34:37pulled up a tired, temperatureless smile. Get to bed, mother. It's over. It's over.
34:46Pitched low. Carrying a final, resigned acceptance. He moved to step past me. I caught his wrist.
34:53My ten fingers clenched. Nails dug into the flesh of his forearm. He stopped. Turned his head. I said nothing.
35:03I only stared at him. My other hand found the collar of my silk gown. Snap. The first button came
35:10open. The second. The third.
35:13I caught the fabric in both hands. Pulled it apart. The heavy gown slid down my thighs. Fell on the
35:20wooden floor. Cold air struck me. The corridor was dead silent.
35:25Julian's eyes locked. I gripped his wrist. Pulled it forward. Pressed his warm palm directly against my bare chest. I
35:33stepped back. My back pushed open the oak door of the master bedroom.
35:39The hinge turned silent. The room in that wide bed of the Earl of Ashworth made up with snow white
35:45silk was exposed in the dark. The most untouchable forbidden room of the estate. I looked into his eyes. My
35:51breath fell on his jaw.
35:52One last time. On his bed. Now.
35:55Julian looked at me. His gaze went over my shoulder. To the bed. The resignation in his eyes under absolute
36:00madness cracked apart by inches. His throat moved. Hard. His breathing turned heavy at once. Slop. He dropped his coat
36:08to the corridor floor. He caught the back of my neck with one hand. His tall body drove forward. He
36:13stepped into the master bedroom. Click. The heavy oak door he shut it behind us. Bolted it.
36:20Julian slammed me down onto the snow white silk. No wasted motion. He undid the belt. Brutally drove straight inside.
36:26I threw my head back. The back of my skull struck the Earl's pillow.
36:29One wall away the library. The muffled creak of a leather chair. The scratch of a pen across paper. The
36:34old Earl was in the next room.
36:35The snow white sheet was destroyed in seconds. Julian gripped my waist. A heavy, ceaseless rhythm. The heavy oak frame
36:41began to rock. The legs slammed against the floor. A pounding so loud it shook the walls. Sweat fell from
36:47his chin onto the silk.
36:48My hands locked around his broad back. My nails dug deep into the flesh. Cut long streaks of blood. The
36:53blood and the sweat ran together. He drove down. The cruelest thrust.
36:56I threw my head back. My throat strained. I could no longer hold my lip. A sharp, broken cry tore
37:01out of my throat. In the empty estate the sound was deafening.
37:05In the same second, he locked his arms around me. His body went rigid. A muffled, broken sound. Scalding wetness
37:11poured into me. The air went dead. The scratch of the pen in the library stopped.
37:15The leather chair was silent. In the corridor, heavy leather boots. One step, another, stopped outside the master bedroom door.
37:21Cracks. A terrible splintering noise.
37:24The heavy oak door was hacked through from outside by a worn sword. The metal bolt broke loose. Stattered to
37:29the floor. Splinters flew. Lightning split the window. The bone white flash lit up the room.
37:33The Earl of Ashworth stood in the door. Dressed in black. A cold, gleaming crusader's sword in his hand. Rainwater
37:39still ran from the hood. No expression. Cold. Dead.
37:42His gaze passed over the splintered door and pinned itself on the ruined fan. On the two bodies still joined.
37:48He'd step across the space. Catch my wrist. Press me against the rough wall. His body would come down. His
37:54knee would shove between my legs.
37:56Through the heavy gown. That hardness pressed against me. I'd breathe at my feet. His thighs would start their work.
38:02Once. Again. A frequency that didn't stop.
38:05I bit down on my lower lip. My nails clawed into the wall. Sweat fell from my forehead.
38:09One of his hands gripped my waist. The other pushed up under my skirt. His fingers through the silk stockings
38:15worked the burning heat between my thighs.
38:17Open your legs. Let me end.
38:19Very well. A command. I was shaking. The wetness had soaked through the fabric.
38:23I wanted his weight inside me. To fill the hollow weight. But I clenched my teeth. Grabbed my skirt. Forced
38:29my knees tight. Held the last line.
38:31I would not yield. He stared at me with that ugly look. Then a small, cold laugh. He pulled his
38:37hand back. The pressure was gone.
38:39He smoothed his cravat. Adjusted his cuff. Without expression. Turned. Walked away. His shoes on the wooden floor. The sound
38:46retreating.
38:47I leaned against the cold wall. My skirt in disorder. My legs would not stop shaking. The ache he had
38:53left suspended in me half built and unfinished was driving me mad.
38:59The third month after my husband left the estate, I didn't take a lover. I became addicted to a filthy
39:05phone call that came in every night at midnight.
39:08Wait. The man with that depraved voice was that my own stepson?
39:12I'd tear that fussy gown off you. Pin you against the wall. Make you beg me.
39:17Be quiet. You madman.
39:20I hissed it through my teeth. My fingers dug into the receiver. I didn't hang up. I couldn't bring myself
39:26to hang up. Listening to him describe what he'd do to me, my legs gave out.
39:30I leaned against the cold wall of the corridor. A strange heat shot from my belly to between my thighs.
39:36The fabric beneath my skirt was already soaked through.
39:39My husband, the old Earl, had been in London at Parliament for three months. He was 50. I was 30.
39:44The age when a woman wants nothing more than to be hurt and filled. This dried-out body of mine
39:49was driving me mad.
39:51Knees giving out, Countess?
39:53That low, dangerous laugh. Pure provocation. I clamped a hand over my mouth. Tried to swallow back the shameful sound
40:00rising in my throat. My body slid down the wall instead.
40:04Trembling between hunger and shame, I couldn't stop. Four times this week. Every night at midnight, that depraved call came
40:12in like clockwork.
40:13At first, it was terror. Outrage. An unforgivable violation. But I told no one. And worse, I didn't pull the
40:22cord from the wall.
40:23By midnight, I was waiting for the bell. The Earl had been gone three months. The hollow ache in my
40:28body had grown unbearable.
40:30Before he left, every night he'd sat in the leather chair in the master bedroom.
40:34One tap of his cane on the floor. And I was to strip every layer of silk in front of
40:39him.
40:39He'd pull on his black leather gloves. The leather creaked as it stretched.
40:44Those gloved hands would knead me with terrible force.
40:47No consideration at all. Until I'd torn the sheets to shreds.
40:52Staring at him, almost begging for the final thrust.
40:55Then he'd stop. He'd peel the gloves off. Slow. Drop them on the vanity.
41:00He never entered me. Not once. He'd turn and walk out.
41:04Close the door hard behind him. I'd lie naked on the bed, listening to his boots retreat down the corridor.
41:10My legs unable to close. And then this man on the telephone.
41:14His damp, ragged breathing. His filthy fantasies of tearing my clothes apart.
41:19Words I had never heard.
41:21A seduction from another world entirely.
41:24A world without these cold, mildewed rooms.
41:27Without the endless rain and the endless waiting.
41:30A world that offered only immediate, scalding satisfaction.
41:33It was a barbed hook.
41:35Sunk precisely into the softest, most starving part of me.
41:39He knew, exactly, how to draw out a noblewoman left alone too long.
41:44He knew, exactly, how to draw out a noblewoman left alone.
41:45He knew, exactly, how to draw out a noblewoman left alone.
41:45He knew, exactly, how to draw out a noblewoman left alone.
41:45He knew, exactly, how to draw out a noblewoman left alone.
41:46He knew, how to draw out a noblewoman left alone.
41:46You
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