- 25 minutes ago
THE RED COLLAR OF LIES: English & Spanish
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Short filmTranscript
00:00me a liar from the day i was born not because i actually lied but because of this thing around
00:04my
00:05neck the verity choker mom was luna of silver moon pack and she believed one thing above all
00:10lying was the mark of a weak wolf we were her daughters future alpha heirs weakness was not
00:16an option so when my twin sister emma and i were born mom clasped these chokers around our throats
00:22which had witch magic to detect lies green light means truth red light means you were lying emma's
00:28choker always green she could shred mom's ceremonial cloak and blame the cat and gem would glow a steady
00:34green not me green light believed me mom i'm hungry and flash red light the choker choked tight i shifted
00:45on instinct a small white wolf pawing desperately at the gem around my neck claws scraping against it
00:51unable to get it off i'm not lying not lying please but mom's eyes had already gone cold
00:57instant punishment mom's punishment wasn't gentle no food locked in my room no contact with anyone
01:04in the pack the truth necklace doesn't lie stella starve now study later i'm doing this for your
01:10own good after 10 years of this i started believing it too maybe i really was born wrong new year's
01:17eve
01:17everything changed mom was getting ready to take emma to the pack's bonfire celebration and that's when
01:23the pain hit like a knife twisting in my gut i collapsed on the floor my skeletal frame curling
01:29into itself mom please the choker flashed red and choked tight she looked down at me disgusted in her
01:37eyes in your dream stella faking an illness to ruin our night she grabbed emma's hand and headed for
01:45the door i wanted to howl but my wolf was too weak to answer i shifted anyway forced it a
01:51small white
01:51wolf trembling on the floor ribs heaving maybe in this form the pain would hurt less it didn't i
01:58couldn't even hold the shift i slipped back into myself without meaning to sorry mom i won't lie
02:03anymore but the pain got worse way worse the door handle turned for one second i thought mom's coming
02:10back she came back for me hurry up the bonfire is starting emma's waiting mom i reached out with
02:18a shaking hand please something's really wrong i feel like i'm dying she glanced at my neck the gem
02:24was flashing red over and over she crouched down grabbed my chin stella how long are you gonna keep
02:31this up can't you just be honest and stay here and think about what you've done dad appeared in the
02:37doorway honey should we at least leave her some food food she has a stash of snacks she bought
02:45with stolen money she won't starve lock the door when that gem turns green we'll talk but but what
02:54it's because you spoil her that she turned out this way look at emma her gem has always been green
03:00stella is a liar an alpha heiress who can't tell the truth she needs discipline but my cabinet was
03:07empty emma stole that money emma ate those snacks emma just stood there with her glowing green gem
03:15saying not me and mom believed her i tried to defend myself it wasn't me red light the choker choked
03:23tight i tried to shift nothing happened deep inside my wolf barely stirred mom locked me up for three
03:31days with nothing but water and stale bread mom turned to leave emma peeked through the door made a
03:37face at me bye sis we're gonna see the bonfire her gem glowed a steady green so pretty the door
03:45locked
03:46the house went silent i called my wolf nothing came back not even a whisper just me alone the pain
03:55was unbearable but i kept thinking mom's right the gem doesn't lie it's red so i must be lying
04:03i'm not in pain i'm not in pain i'm not in pain i'm not in pain i kept repeating it
04:11like a prayer
04:12eventually i almost believed it the pain dulled or maybe i was just going numb i crawled to my desk
04:20i had to write that was the rule if the gem glowed red i had to pen a thousand word
04:27apology or mom
04:28would never let me out i am a liar write it down and maybe mom would forgive me maybe she'd
04:36even let
04:36me out i opened my journal pages and pages of apologies i'd written over the years sorry i lied
04:44i won't do it again but this time i wanted to write the truth my vision blurred my hand shook
04:51as i wrote
04:52mom i really love you it really hurts why won't you believe me please believe me just once the moment
05:02i finished the last word the pain vanished just gone i felt light weightless i looked down i was
05:11floating and there slumped over the desk was my body motionless the gem still flashing red around a dead
05:20girl's neck oh i'm dead and then she came out my wolf stepping out of my body like she'd been
05:28waiting
05:28all along small skinny barely holding together she looked up at me and once soft and low in the pack's
05:38old stories they say when a wolf dies young her spirit doesn't cross over alone her wolf walks beside
05:45her until they find the door together i knelt down she pressed her nose into my ghostly palm finally we
05:53were together now but i never learned how to be honest sorry mom i heard laughter mom dad emma coming
06:02through the front door tonight's bonfire was beautiful the best one yet just like our emma
06:09perfect in every way i'd never heard her sound like that when she talked about me i floated toward
06:15them my wolf patting silently at my side moving on instinct i wanted to help them take off their cloaks
06:22that's what i always did mom my arms passed right through her body like wind why is it so cold
06:29here is the hearthi out i stood there staring at my transparent hands my wolf pressed against my leg
06:36and looked up at me with sad eyes right dead wolves couldn't hug the living shall we go and see
06:42stella
06:42she hasn't eaten yet still the good cop i looked at mom hopefully if she found me dead would she
06:49be sad
06:50would she regret it she won't starve she is a werewolf not a human pup this whole fake sick for
06:59attention thing is out of control i laughed bitterly mom wasn't wrong werewolves heal but i hadn't been
07:07able to in a long time last winter the choker left bruises that stayed for days that hadn't happened
07:13before i reached for my wolf she was still there but the warmth never came she was too hungry just
07:19like
07:20me mom never noticed she only ever looked at my neck for one thing the gem and whether it was
07:28red or
07:28green mom pushed open my door didn't even turn on the light just for a second her eyes flashed gold
07:35her wolf might have known mom didn't listen in the dim glow from the hallway she saw me slumped over
07:41my
07:41desk i looked like a skeleton hadn't moved still putting on an act you're ten years old not five
07:50grow up mom i'm not playing i'm dead look at me touch me i'm freezing she couldn't hear me she
07:59only
08:00believed what she wanted to see emma squeezed past her held up her choker with that smug little grin
08:05look my gem is green stella's is still red she's lying even in her sleep that's my good girl
08:13ignore the liar let her stay there maybe she'll learn how to be honest should we at least put her
08:20in bed it's freezing put her in bed look at that red gem still lying come on leave her we
08:28have to
08:28visit grandma tomorrow the door locked again i floated next to my corpse my wolf curled silently
08:35at my feet staring at that single point of red light in the darkness mom if you just stepped closer
08:42if you just touched my hand you'd know i was ice cold but you didn't you believed the choker not
08:48the
08:49daughter you carried for nine months that night a rat crawled out of my empty cabinet i used to scream
08:55whenever i saw rats but now i just floated by the ceiling watching it scurry across my dead body
09:01the rat bit into my toe i didn't feel anything my wolf charged at it anyway and passed right through
09:08landing on the other side she turned back to look at me confused lost i pulled her close and buried
09:15my
09:15face in the fur of her back it's okay you can't feel it anymore it'll be over soon she let
09:22out one
09:23low growl then went still against me finally no more pain for either of us the next morning sunlight
09:31streamed through the window no warmth reached my body in the kitchen i could hear mom making breakfast
09:37the smell of roasted meat crept under my door my favorite but mom always said liars don't deserve
09:43meat so i only ever got steamed vegetables she was clanging the pots extra loud on purpose trying to
09:50tempt me out trying to make me give in and apologize for things i never did in the old days
09:56i might have
09:56caved i might have confessed to anything for one bite of roasted meat but i don't need food anymore
10:03stella still hasn't come out yet dad asked reading the pack notices she is so stubborn she can eat or
10:10not i don't care emma walked to my door and made a big show of sniffing the air then she
10:18screamed
10:19dramatically mom stella's room smells like poop did she poop in there i floated by the door watching my
10:27sister with a bitter smile my wolf sat beside me ears flat eyes low the hearth was burning hot after
10:36just
10:36one night my body started to rot mom stormed over pounding on the door
10:41stella who does that the toilet is right there did you shit on the floor to spite me i remembered
10:49being
10:49six i had food poisoning couldn't make it to the toilet in time mom didn't help me clean up she
10:57made
10:57me stand outside pointed at me and told the neighbors look at this she's such a mess she can't even
11:04use the
11:04toilet herself now she thought i was dirty again leave her let her sit in her own stink
11:10but dad stood up frowning that smells really bad i should check could it be a dead rat or something
11:18my heart if i still had one leapt dad please open the door i'm right here just turn the handle
11:27and
11:27you'll see i'm not moving i waved my transparent arms frantically my wolf ran straight to my bedroom
11:34door willing dad to open it dad's hand touched the door handle his hand froze someone was pounding
11:40at the front door a pack elder urgent business dad's face went pale he grabbed his cloak
11:45the border there's an emergency he was already out the door i froze so close one second away if that
11:53knock had come one second later i would have been found maybe then i wouldn't have rotted alone that
11:59afternoon mom took emma to the pack market the house was empty except for my corpse when they came
12:04back that evening loaded down with food and gifts from the market the smell had gotten worse mom
12:09gagged the second she walked in stella are you trying to turn this place into a den of
12:14inequity she didn't even open my door just grabbed cloth strips and sealed the gap at the bottom
12:19if you want to stay in there and make disgusting stew zoos don't stink up my house she patted her
12:24hands together satisfied then went to prepare dinner i stared at that sealed door my wolf pressed her
12:30nose against it and whimpered once so that's it i'm worth less than a venison dinner by day three even
12:35the cloth strips couldn't contain the smell mom was arranging fresh wildflowers trying to cover it up
12:41but the stench of death is unmistakable sweet rotten oily she cut a rose stem too hard
12:47a thorn pierced her hand she snapped in her mind i was doing this on purpose not bathing poop on
12:54the
12:54floor hiding dead rats in my room all to piss her off all to defy her authority as luna
13:00stella she grabbed a rolling pin from the kitchen storm toward my room i'm done with you you disgusting
13:06little brat time you learned what real pain feels like i floated in front of her waving my arms
13:12desperately don't come in mom please please even though she never loved me i didn't want her to see
13:21me like that but she walked right through me ripped the cloth strips off jammed the spare key into the
13:26lock
13:27the door flew open the smell hit her like a wall she stumbled back retching stella what are you doing
13:34she saw me still slumped over the desk back turned not moving to her this was the ultimate rebellion
13:40i'm talking to you she marched over raised the rolling pin but stopped she wanted to see my face
13:47first wanted to see my get up she grabbed the back of my shirt grabbed my skin the moment she
13:53touched me
13:54she froze through the thin fabric her hand didn't feel warm flesh she felt cold hard dead meat the
14:01kind of cold that seeps into your bones what but momentum carried her forward she yanked crash my body
14:08stiff as a board toppled backward taking the chair with it and there was my face blue black eyes bulging
14:14features twisted in agony dried foam and blood crusted around my mouth around my blackened neck
14:20the verity choker hung lifeless the gem dark no red no green just silence my journal slid off the desk
14:28fell open at mom's feet the last page stared up at her mom my stomach really hurts the choker is
14:35wrong
14:35i'm not lying please don't punish me mom screamed not a wolf's howl a raw guttural shriek that tore through
14:44her throat she stumbled backward slammed into the bookshelf a clay pot shattered but she didn't seem
14:50to feel the pain she just stared at me eyes wide unblinking no no no no this is not real
15:00stella get
15:01up stella get up get up i'm not mad anymore stop scaring me her hand reached out trembling to touch
15:09my arm
15:10the second her skin made contact with my corpse she recoiled like she'd been burned that cold was
15:17too real lisa from next door heard the screaming and went straight to the pack healer when she saw
15:23what was in my room she collapsed in the gate within the hour heavy boots on the floorboards the pack
15:29healer and a handful of pack warriors crowding the entrance mom sat on the floor a warrior's hand on her
15:35shoulder she's speaking it she's always lying it doesn't lie i'm just teaching her no one responded
15:44they all looked at her like she was a monster the pack healer crouched next to my body he muttered
15:51under his breath severe malnutrition organ failure this puppy has been starved for at least a month
15:57he carefully tried to remove the verity choker but it had fused years of tightening had pressed the
16:04leather deep into the skin of my neck damn it he had to use tools to pry it off even
16:10dead my soul
16:11flinched my wolf lifted her head and long raw desperate the kind of howl that should have shaken
16:20the walls no one heard it no one flinched we were already dead a warrior picked up my journal started
16:27reading his face went from neutral to horrified mom's eyes locked on to that book that's her
16:34confession she admits she lied look she wrote it herself the warrior pushed her back wrapped the
16:43journal in cloth and took it we'll report it to the council that's when dad got home he saw the
16:49pack
16:50healer and the pack warriors crowding the doorway saw the body wrap being carried out saw the long cord
16:56that sealed away my entire life his legs gave out he collapsed on the doorstep emma stood nearby
17:04sobbing in confusion she pointed at the discolored verity choker on the table why does stella have a
17:10black collar and i have a green one see she held up her neck the gem blinked its steady green
17:18it was
17:19grotesque the council elders arrived before dawn mom straightened when she saw them even now even with
17:26my body three days cold and rotting her luna instincts kicked in she lifted her chin squared her
17:33shoulders it didn't work today they started questioning mom in the living room mom grabbed the
17:39severity choker off the table like it was a lifeline test it that choker proved she was lying red gem
17:47means
17:47lie i never abused her the choker told me i was just educating her the council elders looked at her
17:57like she'd lost her mind the pup shows signs of extreme malnutrition months of starvation
18:05aphelion multiple old injuries consistent with prolonged that's just discipline that's teaching
18:11her to be honest then she did something insane you don't believe me fine i'll wear it
18:22watch it'll be green the leather pressed against her skin cold sticky that was my blood she took a
18:31deep breath tried to calm herself she needed to prove she was innocent needed to prove her way of
18:37raising an alpha heir was right she held up the gem eyes wild listen i'm rachel i'm stella's mother
18:46this is the truth the absolute truth the gem flashed red mom's confident expression shattered
18:55i said truth i am rachel i never abused her i did it for her own good
19:04i love her and suddenly she remembered me 10 years old gasping as the choker tightened around my throat
19:14biting my lip so i wouldn't make a sound is this what it felt like why is it red i
19:21am telling the
19:22truth turn green you're broken you're setting me up but the gem kept flashing like it was mocking her
19:28you're a liar you're a liar you're a liar enough this is just a bloodstone i've seen it before it
19:39changes
19:39color with body heat fear pain anything that makes your heart race temperature rises it burns red that's
19:48all it does no witch magic never was think about your daughter ruptured appendix organ failure the pain
19:57must have been unbearable she was terrified and what did you see a red gem so you punished her more
20:05which made her more scared which made her temperature rise which made the stone turn redder
20:15you are luna you are supposed to protect every wolf in this pack you couldn't even protect your own
20:23daughter you ignored her cries for help you starved your daughter to death mom's world collapsed she sat
20:31there staring at the flashing gem on her own neck and finally understood for 10 years every red light
20:38wasn't because i was lying it was because i was scared scared of her anger scared of being misunderstood
20:47scared of eating food that made me sick i was in pain pain that made my heart race and cold
20:53sweat pour
20:54down my face i was desperate desperate for a hug for her to hold me the way she held emma
21:01every signal
21:02from my frightened heart she had interpreted as proof of my lies no get it off i'm not lying i'm
21:14not she
21:14tried to shift fur rippling across her skin bones cracking but the leather cinched harder around her
21:20throat the moment her neck began to change she snapped back into human form gasping i can't get it off
21:29stella take it back i'm sorry it's all my fault this little bit of choking and she was already
21:37breaking mom i suffered for 10 years the council elders needed evidence for judgment so they opened my
21:46journal in front of my parents february 14th sunny mom put celery on my plate i'm allergic my throat swells
21:55i can't breathe i said i can't eat it but because i was scared of making her angry my body
22:01ran hot the
22:02gem flashed red the choker tightened mom said i was picky lying made me eat the whole plate that night
22:11i
22:12threw up blood my throat felt like it was on fire i shifted to ease my pain mom saw it
22:19and said i'd snuck
22:19berry juice that i was faking the choker tightened for 10 more minutes mom's hand flew to her mouth
22:28she was shaking violently she remembered that she really did think it was berry juice she didn't even
22:35look closely just turned away to read emma a bedtime story that was blood from a swollen torn throat
22:44june 1st pup's day emma shredded mom's ceremonial cloak emma's heart is always calm her gem stays
22:52green i tried to explain but i was scared of being hit my body ran hot red gem choker tightened
23:00for 10
23:01minutes it hurt so bad but i didn't cry because crying makes your body run hotter and mom thinks that
23:09means you're not sorry so i held my breath pretended it didn't hurt mom said see she doesn't even blink
23:18she's definitely faking it dad couldn't take it anymore this man who had always put the pack before
23:24his own family chose duty over his daughter for 10 years you monster what did you do that was your
23:32daughter you treated her like a stray blood at the corner of her mouth not my fault not my fault
23:40it's
23:41her it's emma emma's gem was always green emma was a good one if it wasn't for that green light
23:48making me trust her i wouldn't have believed the red light so much this is emma's fault that little
23:54princess everyone had protected one of the council elders walked over gently removed the green verity
24:00choker from her neck took out a blade pried the gem loose right there it rolled onto the table still
24:08glowing green steady unchanged the elder picked up the stone a glowstone that is all your younger
24:17daughter's choker was always going to shine green no matter what she said did or lied about it would never
24:25change your so-called verity choker was a fraud that was her truth for 10 years that was the evidence
24:34she used to convict me a common glowstone that put me in hell while emma lived in paradise so i
24:40wasn't a
24:41liar i laughed laughed until i cried turns out ghosts could cry too the elder turned to the last page
24:49of the
24:49journal his voice broke the handwriting was a mess clearly written while dying mom if i die will the
24:56choker stop glowing red or if it turns green will you hug me then i'm not lying i couldn't heal
25:03myself
25:03anymore my stomach hurts so much like knives next life please don't make me wear the choker please i just
25:12want to be a normal pup i want to eat mom's roasted meat mom stared at the broken glowstone on
25:18the table
25:18that truth magic she trusted without question a worthless stone because of that stone she spoiled
25:25emma for 10 years because of that cursed red light she tortured me for 10 years
25:34mom started laughing her voice cracking at every sound worse than crying fake all fake
25:45i killed my most honest pup and i worshipped a liar she'd lost her mind for real this time my
25:54death
25:55became the talk of the entire pack lisa the neighbor who had sent for the pack healer told everyone what
26:01she'd seen every wolf knew by morning luna had starved her own daughter to death monster murderer
26:10she doesn't deserve to be luna stones flew at our door the word killer carved into the wall the council
26:18convened
26:18within the day the verdict was swift dad lost his alpha title no wolf would follow him now my grandfather
26:26the former alpha read out the judgment himself he didn't look at his son once dad walked out of the
26:33council hall and never looked back
26:35he took emma and left the pack that same night emma was a bad seed sure but she was still
26:41his blood
26:42before they left emma tried to take her green choker dad stomped on it why the hell would you want
26:49that piece
26:49of trash emma cried as he dragged her away mom got out of the dungeon the healer said she had
26:55lost her mind
26:56the council locked her in the home instead the one that still smelled like death her mental state
27:02deteriorated fast she refused to take off the red choker she would tighten it herself whenever the
27:08guilt got too heavy she said choking was the only thing that eased it it was her self-imposed punishment
27:14i floated in the darkness my wolf curled beside me watching her unravel day after day she'd talked to
27:21the empty corner where i used to stand stella i brought you some food no celery today it's all roast
27:29just how you like it but there was no food there was nothing just her hands cupped around air she'd
27:36pretend to set a plate down her hands shook the gem flashed red she was anxious guilty falling apart
27:44she smiled but her eyes were empty the gem is red mom is lying liars don't deserve food she pulled
27:52the
27:52choker tight with her own hands let it choke her her body convulsed against the cold floor it hurts so
27:59much is this how stella felt i'm sorry mom started reenacting my diary entries i couldn't eat celery
28:08because of my allergy so she forced herself to eat spoiled food until she vomited blood then swallowed it
28:15back down i was locked in isolation so she locked herself in my old room lights off and bowed to
28:23my
28:23portrait until her forehead bled over and over blood on the floor late at night she'd see the red glow
28:32of
28:32the bloodstone reflected on the wall to her it looked like my bloody eyes were watching she kept punishing
28:39herself the wounds healed slower and slower her wolf exhausted by months of self-torture slowly fell
28:47into a deep sleep mom didn't care she scrawled on the back of my journal i'm sorry i was wrong
28:54red means
28:55pain red means love please come back and say it hurts hurts one more time i'll save you i promise
29:03too bad
29:03i'm dead dead wolves can't cry for help eventually the new alpha intervened mom's self-harm had gone too
29:11far she'd nearly choked herself to death with her own hands he ordered her to move to a small hut
29:17at
29:17the far edge of the village locked from the outside someone posted to watch her day and night she was
29:23the
29:23strangest woman they'd ever seen nobody knew where she'd found it a frayed red cord tied around her own
29:30neck her homemade choker if anyone tried to remove it she'd snap at them teeth bared snarling
29:38wild-eyed don't touch me stella's watching she'll be angry if you take it every time the guard called
29:47her name and brought her food mom would grab the red cord and pull it tight against her own throat
29:52convulsing screaming red light red light don't punish punish me i'll eat i'll eat even if the food
30:02was scalding hot she'd gulp it down burning her throat wouldn't spit it out she was reenacting my
30:09final moments living my hell on repeat years later emma grew up without guidance and with a trail of shame
30:16behind her she drifted from pack to pack stealing to survive no one would take her in when she ran
30:23out
30:23of options she remembered mom was still alive she slipped back into the silverman pack under the cover
30:30of night not for love for money hey crazy lady dad's dead give me whatever you've been hiding emma stood
30:40there face hard eyes full of contempt she looked at mom's hollow broken form and spat on the floor
30:48it's disgusting give me what i want or i'll send you to meet your daughter for a moment mom's cloudy
30:55eyes cleared she looked at emma and suddenly remembered that choker that always green glowstone
31:03that decade of deception it's you you lie you're the green light that wasn't there you killed stella
31:12give her back to me give her back to me the last shred of maternal love twisted into something feral
31:20mom lunged grabbed emma by the throat should have died not her you
31:29emma thrashed but couldn't break free from a madwoman's grip the guards rushed in pulled her
31:35off emma stumbled out of the hut terrified they're all insane she bolted into the forest she didn't get
31:42far rogues the kind that haunted the borderlands preying on anyone foolish enough to run through the
31:49trees alone at night emma never saw them coming by the time she did it was too late she survived
31:57barely both legs shattered beyond repair she'd never walk again meanwhile mom was strapped to her
32:04cot staring at the ceiling tears streaming in her dreams she finally saw me i was 10 again no choker
32:12white dress smiling mom she reached for me crying with joy stella but the moment her hands touched me
32:22i burst into ash no she woke up screaming if she'd been wearing that choker it would have been blood
32:29red eternal torment i stood in the void watching it all mom strapped to her bed emma in a wheelchair
32:37begging on the market dad drunk and dead in some gutter i felt nothing no satisfaction just a flat
32:45dead calm my wolf padded over quietly she didn't howl didn't nudge just pressed her head against my hand
32:53and held it there in the distance a door of light appeared soft steady waiting i looked at my wolf
33:01she
33:01looked at me yeah time to leave this life was too bitter nothing worth holding on to i floated to
33:08mom's hut one final time she looked ancient hair completely white frail as paper she sent something
33:15her cloudy eyes focused on a point in the air right where i stood stella is that you her trembling
33:20hand
33:21reached into the emptiness mom destroyed the choker i don't believe in it anymore come back please i'll cook
33:28for you no salary i'll buy you new dresses not emma tears rolled down her face i looked at the
33:33red marks
33:34on her neck from the frayed cord i i reached out my cold ghostly finger touched her forehead this was
33:41my
33:41final mercy sleep mom in sleep there's no pain her eyes fluttered shut she slumped into a deep dreamless
33:49rest a breeze blew through the hut the old journal on her cot flipped open the last page my dying
33:55words
33:56stared up at the ceiling but below it in shaky handwriting were new lines written by mom during
34:02a lucid moment next life let me wear the choker let me be the liar punish me however you want
34:08just
34:08don't leave me i stared at those words felt nothing too late repentance means nothing to the dead
34:15mom i don't hate you anymore but i don't love you either let's not meet again i turned away my
34:21wolf
34:21was waiting in the distance the door of light still glowed soft steady patient i looked at my neck
34:27the phantom verity choker still there even in spirit form the nightmare that had changed me for a
34:33lifetime i grabbed it it shattered into nothing i felt weightless free no red light no hunger no lies
34:41just freedom my wolf pressed against my side together we walked toward the light i didn't look back
34:47morning came a guard pushed open the door rachel time to eat no response she walked closer mom's
34:53hand clutched the torn journal a single tear crystallized at the corner of her eye she crouched
34:58beside her held two fingers beneath her nose nothing she was gone passing through the door wasn't violent
35:04no spinning no chaos just warmth like sinking into a spring stream i looked to my side my wolf was
35:11gone
35:11i didn't panic i pressed my hand to my chest and there she was steady warm then i heard her
35:18voice
35:18not a whimper not a whine clear and bright and full of life like the first time we met run
35:24i shifted
35:25four paws hit the ground and i ran through forests that smelled of pine and rain through cold shallow
35:31streams that splashed silver around my legs through meadows i had never seen but somehow knew
35:37my white fur caught the light my paws were sure my lungs were full my body was strong no choker
35:44around my throat no red light no hunger the lingering ache in my soul the phantom pain of 10 years
35:51started to fade with every step i ran toward brightness behind me old life dissolved like a worn
35:58photograph left out in the rain mom's final tear the red glow of the choker blood on the journal pages
36:04gone i didn't look back that 10 year nightmare was finally truly over when i opened my eyes again
36:12i was tiny wrapped in soft blankets someone was humming a woman's voice gentle off-key but full of love
36:22her fingers brushed my cheek the scent of wildflowers not the cold clinical distance of my old mother
36:29not the silence of someone who only touched me to punish i blinked up at her she had kind eyes
36:36a soft
36:37smile she cradled me like i was made of glass grace is awake honey come quick our daughter just opened
36:45her
36:45eyes a man appeared tall a little awkward but his face lit up when he saw me he touched my
36:52tiny hand
36:53with one finger his voice was deep warm hey grace i'm your dad grace not stella no weight no chains
37:05no red
37:06light just grace a name that meant something light something cherished this house was small but warm
37:13full of light cartoon painting on the walls flowers by the window sunlight pouring through the windows
37:20warm on the floor i realized fast this family was nothing like the last one they never forced me to
37:27do
37:28anything there were no chokers no red lights no punishments for things i hadn't done i grew learned
37:35to crawl to talk and when i was three mom made a stew with celery the green stalks in the
37:42bowl triggered me
37:43i flashed back to choking throat swelling vomiting blood i stumbled backwards shaking tears came without
37:51permission mom immediately put down her spoon crouched pulled me into a hug grace what's wrong you don't
37:59like celery i couldn't speak just shook my head sobbing dad knelt too rubbed my back hey it's okay you
38:08don't
38:08have to eat it can you tell us why their eyes were patient gentle finally i choked out it hurts
38:16my throat
38:17makes me bleed they didn't say the verity choker doesn't lie they didn't accuse me of faking they took
38:25me to the pack healer immediately turns out i really do have a celery allergy after that celery never appeared
38:32in the house again mom added it to her market list grace's allergies celery she checked every time she
38:40shopped i lay in her arms that night smelling wild flowers and realized this is what it feels like to
38:46be believed love isn't measured by a stone it's listening even when the story sounds impossible when
38:54i was four dad took me to the pacular for my first health check there was a blood draw i
38:59saw the needle and
39:00lost it flashes of the choker tightening around my throat flashes of starvation i screamed clung to
39:07dad's leg the healer sighed i couldn't stop shaking don't punish me i'm not lying dad immediately scooped
39:16me up sorry she's not ready we'll come back another time on the walk home dad didn't scold me for
39:21being
39:21weak he just asked gently grace did someone hurt you before i buried my face in his shoulder
39:30tears soaking his shirt mom joker red light i couldn't explain it clearly but he listened nodded
39:39it's okay dad's here now no one's ever hurting you again from then on they took me to the pack
39:46healer
39:47regularly not for blood draws just to talk she has been hurt be patient with her my parents never complained
39:55never made me feel like a burden they bought me a colorful necklace but never forced me to wear it
40:00this is just a pretty thing grace wear it if you want take it off if you don't we'll love
40:06you either
40:06way slowly i started to heal i could say i don't like this without fear i could say i'm scared
40:14i could say
40:15i want that i didn't have to worry about my heart racing being proof of a lie i started sharing
40:21my
40:22stories with them i cried when i didn't get a toy i laughed when i got praise i was finally
40:28just a pup a normal loved pup when i turned seven i started at the pack school there was a
40:37girl in my
40:38class annie sullivan she looked exactly like emma same eyes but her hair was shorter and she was timid
40:47scared the first time i saw her my heart clenched flashbacks emma's smug grin the green
40:55light mocking me i stepped back instinctively annie noticed she looked down voice barely a whisper
41:03i'm annie do you want to be friends her tone was so careful so desperate to please just like i
41:11used to
41:12be i glanced at her neck she wore a simple choker with green gem my stomach turned later i found
41:19out
41:19annie's mom was strict to his family demanded honesty locked her in her room without food when
41:25she made mistakes one day annie accidentally knocked over the teacher's ink pot she was trembling
41:32too scared to admit it i saw her face red rimmed eyes barely holding back tears i remembered myself
41:39at that desk writing i am a liar over and over i walked over took her hand annie it's okay
41:48accidents
41:50happen let's tell the teacher together she won't be mad annie looked at me shocked but mom says liars
41:57are bad wolves being honest isn't about never making mistakes it's about owning up when you do and even if
42:04you tell the truth you shouldn't be punished for it if the teacher gets angry i'll stand with you if
42:10your mom gets angry come to my house my parents will help i gave her the courage i never had
42:15she confessed
42:16the teacher forgave her told her to be more careful next time from that day on we have been best
42:23friends
42:23i brought annie home to meet my parents she saw how warm they were how they didn't yell didn't punish
42:29little things i told her you don't have to make everyone happy you're allowed to feel things say
42:38things one day annie's mom came to pick her up from school she saw us together and her face twisted
42:44she grabbed annie's hand did you mess up again is grace covering for you annie immediately looked down
42:52silent i stepped in front of her looked at the mom in the eye ma'am annie didn't do anything
42:58wrong
42:59she's a good pup you shouldn't always assume the worst she's scared of you the mom froze looked at me
43:09then at annie's tear-filled eyes her expression softened that night she called my mom thanked her
43:16said i'd opened her eyes over time annie's mom got gentler what you want to do started listening
43:22instead of yelling and annie she blossomed confident happy i watched her laugh freely one day and felt
43:30this warmth in my chest i didn't get saved in my last life i suffered alone in the dark but
43:36this time
43:36i could save someone else i could stop another stella from happening maybe that's the gift my past
43:43life gave me the ability to see pain and to heal it when i was 10 my parents took me
43:48to visit grandma
43:49there was an old oak tree in her yard its branches spread wide casting shade over the whole garden
43:55i sat beneath it watching sunlight filter through the leaves my wolf dozed inside me warm and content
44:01then i saw her an old woman white hair hunched over a walking stick wearing a faded blue dress
44:08the second i saw her face i froze she looked exactly like rachel my old mother grandma noticed me too
44:16walked over slowly her eyes were hazy but there was something familiar in them something heavy
44:21what's your name child grace she repeated it softly grace that's a beautiful name she reached out like
44:27she wanted to touch my hair then hesitated pulled back like she was afraid of disturbing something sacred
44:33my mom came over studied her mom this is our daughter grace so she was my grandma in this life
44:39too
44:40over the next few days grandma watched me constantly her expression was unreadable one morning
44:45she brought me a bowl of roasted meat grace eat up this used to be your favorite i stared at
44:50the bowl
44:51in my last life i wrote in my dying breath i want to eat mom's roasted meat and here was
44:57grandma
44:57saying those exact words tears blurred my vision this wasn't some distant wish anymore
45:03it was real right in front of me i picked up a piece bit into it tender sweet perfect grandma
45:10smiled
45:10a tired guilty smile that night lying in bed with my wolf curled warm inside my chest i thought about
45:17rachel's last words next life let me wear the choker let me be the liar punish me however you want
45:24just
45:24don't leave me i thought about her final tear the torn journal i didn't hate her anymore hating someone
45:30is like locking yourself in the past chewing on pain forever this life's warmth had already washed away
45:36the bitterness i just felt sad sad that she only understood too late real love was never about
45:42stones or punishment we stayed for a month then went back home before i left she held my hand grace
45:49live well be happy her voice was soft but heavy with meaning i nodded you too grandma i watched her
45:55walk
45:55away and i felt nothing no anger no grief the grudges of my past life were like fallen leaves
46:02blown away by the wind i wasn't stella anymore the girl locked in the dark choking on a lie i
46:08was grace
46:08sterling surrounded by love free at 13 i graduated from pack school got into the best academy in the
46:15region my parents took me to the lake for a picnic to celebrate i stood at the edge of the
46:19water wind in
46:20my hair the scent of pine and cold water on my skin i stretched out my arms feeling the freedom
46:27for a
46:28moment i saw her my ghost self floating desperate to hug someone but passing right through grace what
46:35are you thinking dad handed me a drink i smiled just i'm grateful to be alive to be with you
46:41both mom
46:42pulled me into a hug silly girl we're the lucky ones no one said anything we all just shifted at
46:49the same
46:49time like we'd done it a hundred times before we ran together through the trees through the shallow
46:54edge of the lake water spraying silver around our paws eventually i slowed down turned and threw myself
47:01at them we tumbled into the grass together mom nuzzled her head against mine dad licked the top of my
47:08head with lazy affection i pressed into them both and stayed there breathing hard warm all the way through
47:14i looked up at the sky through the canopy of trees i didn't need to prove i wasn't a liar
47:19anymore
47:20i didn't need to fear a red light i could laugh cry speak freely i had parents who loved me
47:26a best
47:27friend a healthy body a bright future this was the life i died wishing for that night i wrote in
47:33my journal
47:34not the blood-stained confessions of my old life this one was full of happiness growth love i wrote today
47:42we ran by the lake mom and dad shifted with me without saying a word we tumbled in the grass
47:47like
47:47pups i thought about my past self that little girl locked in a room choking in the dark desperate to
47:54be
47:54loved she'd never believed that i could be this happy mom and dad love me they taught me that honesty
48:00isn't something you punish out of someone it's something you grow with patience and warmth annie is
48:06my best friend now she laughs freely she speaks without flinching grandma is getting older but
48:13her eyes are warm when she looks at me my wolf grows stronger every day with her beside me i
48:19feel at
48:19ease i don't hate anyone anymore i don't cling to the past those painful memories are like paw prints in
48:25the mud washed away by rain but they taught me to cherish every step forward i know my old mom
48:32sister and
48:33dad got what they deserved and i finally broke free i found real freedom i don't want to see them
48:39again i don't want to relive that life i just want to be gray simple happy loved the lake was
48:46beautiful
48:46life was beautiful i closed my journal looked out the window moonlight shimmered on the water through the
48:52trees my wolf stirred softly inside my chest warm steady i smiled this life i finally became who i wanted
49:00to
49:00be no red light no starvation no lies just love freedom happiness and those scars from my past they
49:08became part of me proof that i had survived proof that darkness no matter how long it lasts cannot
49:14swallow you whole not if you keep moving toward the light the road ahead is long but i will walk
49:20it
49:20with courage with joy towards something even brighter
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