- 7 hours ago
The Boulet Brothers Halfway to Halloween 2023
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:16It's the Boulay Brothers Halfway to Halloween TV Special
00:21Starring
00:22David Dasbaljan
00:25Taryn Killam
00:27Kevin Smith
00:31Matthew Willard
00:40Rachel True
00:42Quinn Temple
00:46Garrick Mears
00:49And Hold Me Time And Keep One Kissin' Me
01:18Beth Dover, The Nightmare Girls, Coco Cain, Melissa B. Pierce, and Kendra Onyx, Dana DeLorenzo, John Ross Bowie, Eve Dasmalchik,
01:39Sigourney Beaver,
01:54and the queens of darkness themselves, your haunting hosts for the evening, the Goulet Brothers.
02:05Welcome to the show, darlings, and happy halfway to Halloween.
02:12As we all know, there are so many of you little goblins and ghoulie-goos out there who just love
02:17all things Halloween.
02:19But unfortunately, you've got another six months until your favorite holiday is here.
02:23And we feel it would just be cruel to make you wait all through the spring and summer just to
02:28get your fiendish fix.
02:29So, we've decided, as the newest self-appointed sentinels of Samhain, to give you a little sustenance by creating our
02:36own holiday special
02:37that will give you a sinful serving of Halloween and horror that is guaranteed to keep you well-fed until
02:43October 31st.
02:45You see, tonight, we've put a special call out to all of our fellow famous monsters to come together and
02:51join us
02:51for a sinister spectral spectacular filled with blood, gore, witches, vampires, and all things that go bump in the night
03:00for a halfway to Halloween celebration.
03:05So, why don't you just go ahead and turn down the lights, lock your doors, and pull those covers up
03:11over your heads
03:11because it's time for the Boulay Brothers Halfway to Halloween TV special to begin.
03:17Boulay Brothers Halfway
03:42Boulay Brothers Halfway
03:46I mean, what's the deal with pitchforks? I've never seen a villager bale hay.
03:52Well, I quit my job.
03:55You quit?
03:56I quit.
03:58Get out. Why'd you do that?
04:01I can't work for that guy anymore. He's insane. Literally.
04:05What did you expect? He's a mad scientist.
04:11You know, you never see any normal scientists.
04:14They're all mad.
04:16Just once, I'd love to work for a normal scientist.
04:21You know what this means, Igor.
04:23Without a job, you're going to have to move back in with your parents.
04:29Great. I gave up one mad scientist for two mad parents.
04:34Maybe it won't be so bad.
04:36Maybe one person who's more insane than my parents.
04:45Well, full moon.
04:48So?
04:49So?
04:50So what?
04:51Look at my face.
04:53It's covered with fur.
04:55I got fangs.
04:56Just don't kill anyone.
04:58This isn't going to kill anybody.
05:00You're a werewolf.
05:01It's what you do.
05:02You kill people.
05:03Oh!
05:05I can manage.
05:06Can I kill anybody for one full moon?
05:09You?
05:09You can't go one full hour without killing somebody.
05:13I can last longer than you.
05:16Care to make it interesting?
05:21What are you thinking?
05:24I'll bet you $100 you kill someone before me.
05:27I want in on them.
05:28Okay, deal.
05:29Hey, tell me in two.
05:31You?
05:31Yeah.
05:32You don't kill people.
05:33You're a lab assistant.
05:34We're monsters.
05:35We kill people.
05:36Oh, I kill people.
05:38What do you think I do in my days off?
05:40Okay, but you're going to have to put in more money.
05:42Yeah.
05:43500 bucks.
05:46Deal.
05:47All right.
05:49Get them up.
05:51Now, may the best monster or lab assistant win.
06:07What do you want to eat?
06:09Huh?
06:17Time to die.
06:18Yeah.
06:22Jimmy, I've told you, playing with dolls is for girls.
06:25Now, get ready for bed.
06:29Hey, kids.
06:30Do you want to kill your awful parents, but you're not sure how to hide the body?
06:33Well, have we got the answer for you.
06:36Introducing the Easy Cake Cremation Oven.
06:42Simply murder your parents.
06:48Dismember their bodies.
06:51And set your cremation ovens to 1600 degrees Fahrenheit and watch your worries disappear.
07:01Oh, look, it's Mommy's wedding ring.
07:06Kids, what's that smell?
07:09Smells like something's burning.
07:11Let me give you a hand.
07:14That's what we were hoping.
07:16The new Easy Cake Cremation Oven comes with everything you see here.
07:20Lightbulb not included.
07:37Nothing quite says Halloween like murdering your family, does it?
07:42Absolutely not.
07:44I mean, just look at Michael Myers.
07:46He's made a killing out of it.
07:50Well, speaking of Michael Myers and murder, that reminds me.
07:54We've already seen the devil, a werewolf, an Igor, and a Frankenstein Seinfeld.
07:59But we haven't really seen any blood yet.
08:01Hmm.
08:01And I'm starting to get a little thirsty.
08:04Hmm.
08:04Me too.
08:05What about you, darlings?
08:07Are you ready for a little blood?
08:09Well, I hope you are, because coming up next, we've got a campground slasher, a satanic siren,
08:15and a trip to the puppet theater that you won't soon forget.
08:19So without further ado, let's begin the next abominable act by welcoming to the stage
08:24the satanic singing sensations themselves, the one and only Twin Temple.
08:51And here today, let's begin the song.
08:58Ba- bab- bab- bab- babalon
09:01Secret whore I call upon
09:03Ba- bab- bab- bab
09:05Bad bass ba- babalon
09:06Secret whore I call upon
09:08Ba- bab- bab- babalon
09:10Secret whore I call upon
09:13My Babylon
09:15I got a girl and
09:20Her name is Babylon
09:22She looks a-
09:24Vision's zik admits
09:25Her ex-xaphan
09:27With set the night on fire and light up the golden dawn
09:35Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-balon, sacred core I call upon
09:41Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-balon, sacred core I call upon
09:46Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-balon, sacred core I call upon
09:51My Babylon, the bells were ringing
09:57Say now it's got her head
10:01She's the mother of my abomination
10:04Don't want a wedding, what an invocation
10:10My name is
10:14My Babylon, my Babylon is sacred for I call upon
10:19I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,
10:24I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,
10:29I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,
10:38I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,
10:39I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,
10:39I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I
10:47Oh, she makes me bleed
11:10Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-balong
11:13Sacred core I call them all
11:15Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-balong
11:18Sacred core I call them all
11:22Secret for a call
11:25No, Babylon
11:28No, Babylon
11:32No, Babylon
11:33No, Babylon
11:41Secret for a call
11:44Not Babylon
11:49Not Babylon
11:51My little Babylon
11:53Hold up that little girl
11:55My little Babylon
12:12Are you ready for fun?
12:14Are you ready for friends?
12:16Are you ready for adventure?
12:19Well, we don't have any of those things here
12:21But if you drop your kids off with us here at Camp Arawak
12:25You can have all that and more
12:27Wait, did we change that?
12:29Cause I'm, okay, can we do it again?
12:31But if you drop your kids off with us here at Camp Happy Trail
12:35You can have all that and more
12:38And I don't mean just for a few weeks
12:40I mean forever
12:43Have you tried everything with little Jessie
12:46But she's still just an annoying little bitch no matter what you do?
12:50Is driving Tommy to repetitive boring football games and never ending sports practices ruining your social life?
12:58Do you hate looking at Jan's face?
13:00Because even though she can't help it
13:01She looks just like your mother-in-law
13:03And that's never gonna change
13:05And you just can't take it for one more goddamn day?
13:09Well, here at Camp Happy Trail
13:11We know exactly how to help
13:15Here we are in our few
13:16We at Camp Happy Trail know exactly how to help
13:20At Camp Happy Trail
13:22We specialize in taking care of problem teens like yours
13:26No matter what the issue may be
13:28Our specially trained counselors
13:30They've seen it all
13:32And can help with problems that
13:33Therapists, priests, and teachers
13:36Say can't be fixed
13:38With exciting activities like
13:41Archery
13:53Axe throwing
14:05And not tying
14:10After one season of being with us here at Camp Happy Trail
14:13You can rest assured that your little mistake won't be coming home again anytime soon
14:25Right, Johnny?
14:28I'm sorry I was such a dick my whole life
14:31Too late!
14:36So if you're looking for the next graded...
14:42Just one second
15:00So anyway...
15:02You should call us today
15:04Camp Happy Trail
15:06To begin your new journey
15:08And a whole new life
15:09Without any baggage...
15:12Today...
15:13Call 1-800-CAMP-KIDS
15:14To book your child's stay today
15:38Oh!
15:39Sorry I didn't see you standing there...
15:41Greetings!
15:41Boils and ghouls
15:43Boils and ghouls
15:43Witchy poos and boo berries
15:44It's that time of year
15:45The perfect time of year
15:46For a horror comic
15:48And you think comic books are just spandex and superheroes?
15:50Think again my friend
15:51Horror comics been around since the 1940s
15:54From Dr. Occult
15:56To...
16:00Huh...
16:00These things were so spooky
16:02That even the government tried to get them banned
16:05There were senate hearings in 1954
16:07Blaming horror comics
16:09For juvenile delinquency
16:11It was...
16:16And you know what we have to say to censorship, don't you?
16:20We say fuck censorship with a witch's broken tit
16:23That's what we have...
16:28Okay...
16:29Maybe I'm getting a little too freaked out reading this thing
16:31But you know what?
16:32I've got to find out how it ends
16:33So if you'll excuse me
16:53Good evening my frightful fanatics
16:56My...
16:57Deathly devotees
16:58Tonight's tale takes us into the world
17:01Of a loving puppet maker
17:02And his wife
17:04The puppets
17:05Are their children
17:07And you know what they say about children
17:09They see
17:11All
17:13Even when we think they aren't watching
17:27Gaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
17:44The puppeteer loved his puppets with all his heart.
17:50Have some hot tea, my dear. Your cough will wake the dead.
17:54Thank you, my love.
17:56Oh, of course, my dove.
17:59Now, now, let me get back to work. Our little children need me.
18:13The puppeteer loved performing, and his wife helped to run their struggling business.
18:20But alas, the life of a puppeteer's wife isn't resplendent with the fancy mink stalls and jewellery that the puppeteer's
18:29wife felt she deserved.
18:31But she had a plan that she had been implementing slowly but surely, drop by drop, for quite some time.
19:03She cashed in his life insurance and sold the old theater where the puppeteer had plied his trade.
19:10And then she planned to sell all of the puppets that people would be willing to buy.
19:16And for those that didn't...
19:18And these old puppets can just go in the trash.
19:20They're just wood and string.
19:24Wood and string.
19:27Worthless.
19:30Wood and string.
19:32Wood and string.
19:34Wood and string.
19:38Wood and string.
19:40Wood and string.
19:41Wood and string.
19:44Wood and string.
19:45Wood and string.
19:46Wood and string.
19:46Wood and string.
19:48Wood and string.
19:48Wood and string.
19:48Wood and string.
19:48Wood and string.
19:49Wood and string.
19:52Wood and string.
20:09Word and scream
20:11Word and scream
20:14Isn't life
20:16A funny thing
20:33A funny thing
21:02Now that was some scary shit, kids
21:04But it's just a comic book
21:06Absolutely nothing to be scared of
21:09Because
21:15Oh shit!
21:17Oh shit!
21:37Now that was entertaining
21:42Twin Temple are so cool
21:48I just love the devil
21:52While Halloween may be all about monsters, horror, and getting scared
21:56We mustn't forget that it's also all about candy and treats
21:59And we happen to have a special guest chef here on hand
22:02Who is going to give you a lesson on how to make some quick, delicious holiday fare
22:05That is sure to satiate all of the little trick-or-treaters in your neighborhood
22:09And speaking of creepy cuisine
22:11We also have a super weird musical guest
22:14Who came here all the way from Russia
22:15Just to perform a song that celebrates her favorite Halloween treat
22:18Ravioli
22:22Ravioli
22:25Bon appetit, uglies
22:27And let the show begin
22:30Ravioli
22:53Hello darlings
22:55I'm Barbara Crampton
22:57Welcome to my kitchen
22:59I'm going to teach you
23:01How to prepare some of my favorite, fast, spooky recipes
23:05That are guaranteed to make you
23:08Feel like the season of the witch is
23:10Right around the corner
23:12I'll start things off
23:13With a finger food recipe
23:17Crush the meat around the bone and the knuckles
23:20So that you can loosen them up
23:22So I'm using a nutcracker
23:25Oh my god, that's amazing
23:27Do you hear that crunch?
23:29It's going to be delicious
23:30And then you want to sprinkle a little bit of lemon
23:35And some extra virgin olive oil
23:37I always use it
23:38Don't they look delicious?
23:41I might have to take a little see of them
23:45Mmm
23:46Next, grain fishy swa
23:50Here, we're going to take a fresh head
23:54Crack open the cranium
23:56Ready?
23:58Oh!
23:59Oh my gosh
24:02Well, you know, it gets a little messy
24:04But, um, it's worth it
24:06We're actually going to take the brain
24:09Out of the skull
24:11So, all that delicious juice in there
24:15I'm going to lift this up
24:17There we go
24:18Oh my god, that looks amazing
24:20And we're going to take that
24:21And pop it
24:22Just like that
24:24Bam!
24:26Beef broth
24:27There you go
24:28I didn't measure
24:29But I think that should be good
24:31I think this is the best part
24:33Of the whole recipe
24:35Pig's feet
24:35Yummy
24:37Mash that in
24:38Maybe, I don't know
24:40One more
24:40That didn't feel like quite enough
24:42It already sounds delicious
24:46Perfect
24:47Perfect
24:47Look at that beautiful crimson color
24:49That is going to be amazing
24:53Oh my gosh
24:55We're going to take the whole head
24:57And bake it in the oven
24:58For about two hours
25:02Ooh la la
25:04As you can see
25:07The finished dish
25:09Is just
25:10Well
25:10To die for
25:13Last but not least
25:15Is our main course
25:16Which is a classic
25:17Cannibal charcoal
25:18Barbecue
25:20See what I did there
25:24Now as you can see
25:26I already have
25:27A fresh carcass
25:28But what I'm going to show you
25:29Is how to glaze it
25:31Now first
25:32You want to take
25:33The giblets out
25:36Yeah
25:37They're a little stringy
25:39But they're going to be
25:40So yummy
25:41My hands got a little
25:42I don't know
25:43Red from all the blood
25:45I got to wipe them off
25:46Yeah
25:47That's good
25:50Now you're going to mix
25:50This right up
25:51With some other stuff
25:52First we have
25:53A little soy sauce
25:54Pour that right in
25:55Yeah
25:56Everybody loves ketchup
25:58You can put it on anything
26:00That is going to be amazing
26:02Now just toss it
26:04All over the crispy
26:06Exterior of the body
26:11So voila
26:12That's all the time
26:13We have today
26:14My friends
26:15I hope you enjoy
26:16Making these recipes
26:17With your family
26:18As much as
26:19I enjoyed making them
26:21With your family
26:23Happy halfway to Halloween
26:25Ghouls
26:26And we'll see you next time on
26:27From Beyond
26:29Barbara's Kitchen
26:30It's delicious
26:37Do you have questions
26:37Do you have questions
26:38About your love life
26:38Do you wonder
26:39If you'll meet
26:39The man of your dreams
26:40Are you curious
26:41About how many kids
26:42You'll have
26:42Or how rich
26:43You'll be one day
26:43Do you want to know
26:45If your husband
26:45Is cheating on you
26:46Well now
26:47You can get the answers
26:47To all of these questions
26:48And more
26:49By calling us here
26:50At the halfway
26:50To Halloween hotline
26:51Everybody knows
26:52Halloween is the time
26:54When our world
26:55Is closest to the spirit world
26:56But if you need help now
26:58Our halfway to Halloween
27:00Operators are standing by
27:02To connect you
27:03Directly to some spooky spirits
27:05Who can answer
27:06All your psychic questions
27:08And more
27:12Let's take a call now
27:14And I'll show you
27:14How easy it is
27:18Hello caller
27:19How can we help you
27:20Oh yeah
27:21That slutty witch costume
27:23Is so fucking hot
27:24Oh I just want to
27:25Stick my face in your
27:27Whoa
27:28Uh
27:29Let's move on
27:30To the next caller
27:33Hello stranger
27:34How can we help you
27:36Hi
27:36My mom doesn't know
27:37I'm gay
27:38But I was
27:38Yes she does
27:41And it's your best friend
27:42She's the one
27:43Are you sure
27:44The spirits can see that
27:46Well no
27:47But honestly
27:47Your friend sounds
27:48Like a real bitch
27:50Oh my gosh
27:51Thank you
27:51You helped me so much
27:52Oh thank you
27:53Bye bye now
27:55Bye
27:55God what a fucking loser
27:57Excuse me
27:59Hello
27:59Knock knock
28:01Uh
28:01Who's there
28:02I'm glad you asked
28:03For an easy payment
28:04Of $59.99 per minute
28:05You can have these answers
28:07And more
28:08Hi
28:09So I have a stalker
28:10And I want to know
28:10If he's watching me now
28:11Ooh okay
28:12Let me see what my tarot cards
28:14Hold for you
28:19Oh the death card
28:20Uh death does not necessarily mean
28:23You're gonna die
28:26See the death card
28:27Holds many meanings
28:30You know in some cultures
28:31Death means rebirth
28:36Hello
28:36Hello
28:38Call us now
28:39At the Halfway to Halloween hotline
28:41And get your questions answered
28:43Today
28:46Our service and website
28:47Are for entertainment only
28:48This service is for adults
28:4818 years of age and older
28:50Attack away
28:55Stick to attend
28:56Who's there
29:07It's like
29:08Of geometrion
29:08Are you
29:09You know who want to know
29:11It is just
29:11Why are you
29:11You know who want to know
29:13I stand and
29:13Are you
29:15Tell me
29:17All tua
29:18Until then
31:50Well, that was truly bizarre.
31:53And I loved every ravioli minute of it.
31:57I did too.
31:58And you know, I'm really enjoying our little halfway to Halloween celebration so far.
32:01But I can't shake the feeling that we're missing something.
32:04It's sex.
32:09Yes, yes, Halloween is all about dressing up and monsters and candy and all of that.
32:13But it's also about being a total slut.
32:19What are you talking about?
32:21Think about it.
32:21Every adult Halloween costume is just a classic costume with the word sexy before it.
32:28Hmm.
32:29Sexy nurse.
32:31Mm-hmm.
32:32Sexy doctor.
32:33Ooh.
32:34Sexy fireman.
32:35Oh.
32:36Sexy devil.
32:37Ooh.
32:39I guess you're right.
32:41And also, nothing says Halloween like a sexy late night hookup.
32:46Halloween always makes people lose their inhibitions and can get them caught up in all sorts of scandalous acts.
32:54True, but as we all know from watching almost every horror movie, the people who usually partake in provocation rarely
33:00make it out alive.
33:01Which, sadly, may be the case for the hot and horny couple in our next story.
33:06You see, it was a dark and stormy Halloween night.
33:10Now, now, you don't want to spoil the surprise.
33:17And speaking of surprises, we have one of our own coming up right after our next naughty narration.
33:24Stay tuned, uglies.
33:36Look, okay?
33:37Don't be nervous.
33:38I don't.
33:38We've already done it with a few girls now, and you promised we could do it with a guy next.
33:43Yeah, I know.
33:44Come on, baby.
33:45It's our anniversary.
33:47Be adventurous.
33:48But what if he tries something with me?
33:51That is going to be fun.
33:53If he tries something, he's going to, I mean, he's going to be fun.
33:58No!
34:00Oh, my God.
34:01I think that's him.
34:02Yeah.
34:03I think, hi.
34:04Hi.
34:04Uh, go, go, get, go around, go around.
34:07Just let him in, let him in.
34:08Okay, okay.
34:08That scared me, but.
34:09Oh.
34:10Wait, how do I look?
34:10How do I look?
34:11How do I look?
34:12Good?
34:12Okay, good.
34:13Okay.
34:13Let him in, let him in.
34:14Yep.
34:16Okay.
34:18How do I look?
34:21Whoa.
34:26You, you are much bigger in real life.
34:31Yeah.
34:33That's what they always say.
34:35I bet they do.
34:37Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God.
34:41Please don't.
34:41Uh, I'm a lumberjack.
34:43I thought you said you read my profile.
34:46I don't read.
34:47She read.
34:47I did, and I forgot to tell you he's a lumberjack.
34:49You didn't tell me.
34:50He's a lumberjack.
34:51I forgot to tell you.
34:52You gotta tell me this.
34:52You're a lumber, he's a lumberjack.
34:53I'm so sorry.
34:55Please sit down.
34:57I'll, uh, get some drinks for us.
34:58You, you have an axe.
35:00That's awesome.
35:02Ugh.
35:02Look, I just, I just have to ask.
35:04Do you do this sort of thing often?
35:06Oh, yeah.
35:07Sometimes couples just need someone to come into their relationship and, uh, tear them up.
35:15You know what I mean.
35:16Yeah.
35:17I mean, I, uh, I don't know if we're looking for all that, but...
35:21Like, sometimes they start off just wanting to have a little bit of fun.
35:25Once I get started, I just get out of control.
35:30Before you know it, I get so heated up and I just...
35:35I want to split them both in two.
35:37Oh, God.
35:37Okay, tired.
35:39Look, we are very excited for what happens next.
35:43Um, just be gentle.
35:46You know what?
35:47I am going to get into something a little more comfortable, and I want you two to bond.
35:53Okay.
35:54It's gonna be great.
35:56Wait till you see what she has planned for you.
35:58It's gonna be amazing.
36:09Alright, guys.
36:10That's what I'm talking about.
36:17It hurts.
36:18It hurts.
36:18Oh, my God.
36:20It hurts.
36:21It hurts.
36:21Boys, make sure you save some for me.
36:40Alright, boys.
36:42I'm coming.
36:45I can't take him.
36:47He's too big.
36:55Open up, baby.
36:56Don't be scared.
36:58It only hurts when it first goes off.
36:59You know I'm coming.
37:02I'm coming.
37:03So you can't be scared.
37:05No!
37:08All right.
37:10No!
37:16No.
37:18No.
37:18No.
37:18No.
37:20Mom.
37:21No.
37:25No.
37:26No.
37:27No.
40:09You know what flows there like wine.
42:38Yeah.
43:14Good night, we'll be right back.
43:26Good night, we'll be right back.
Comments