- 19 hours ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:29I'll see you next time.
00:00:38There's no room when you call for me
00:00:42You'll be calling for mine
00:00:46I'll be wished by your misery
00:00:51But I love it when you smile
00:00:54Let me know what you want from me
00:00:59Whisper no in my ears
00:01:02Before you try to get your hooks in me
00:01:07I should warn you, my dear
00:01:10My heart is a haunted house
00:01:14Once you're in, you ain't getting out
00:01:18It's the trap you've been waiting for
00:01:22Ain't no windows, ain't no noise
00:01:26No escape in the way you feel
00:01:31It's like a dream
00:01:32But you hold when you're real
00:01:35My, my, my, my, my
00:01:36My, my, my, my
00:01:39My, my, my, my, my
00:01:41Is a haunted house
00:01:43My, my, my, my, my
00:01:49Is a haunted house
00:02:11My, my, my, my, my
00:02:18Is a haunted house
00:02:26Oh, thing. Best hand always has the ring.
00:02:40Dearly beloved, it is indeed a rare privilege to see our family gathered together for this Adam's tradition.
00:02:49To commence this ceremony and deliver these two into the long and void of matrimony, we put the lime in
00:02:59the coconut and drink them both up.
00:03:10I now pronounce you...
00:03:12Monster!
00:03:13Rick!
00:03:14You've been here long enough.
00:03:16We've had enough of your time.
00:03:17Adam's dark wanted here.
00:03:19Please don't run away!
00:03:21And now for her girlfriend and wife.
00:03:22Quick, put the lime in the coconut and drink them both up.
00:03:29Sorry. I couldn't help myself.
00:03:31This is ours!
00:03:36Everyone, to the bridge!
00:03:42Fire!
00:04:00You two love bats better fly out of here!
00:04:02I'll hold them off!
00:04:04I'll hold them off!
00:04:04Azarka!
00:04:09Grab onto my hairy huff!
00:04:16I think I can save my house from here!
00:04:19Oh, now that's a woman's question!
00:04:22Oh, Gomez.
00:04:23Why do hordes of angry villagers follow us everywhere we go?
00:04:26We are safe, my love.
00:04:28That is all that matters.
00:04:30I want to find a new home that is shrouded from the world.
00:04:33Some place that is truly us.
00:04:37Some place that is truly us.
00:04:37Yes!
00:04:38Somewhere horrible!
00:04:39Somewhere corrupt!
00:04:41Somewhere that no one in their right mind would be caught dead in!
00:04:55Unhappy, darling?
00:04:57Yes.
00:04:58Completely.
00:05:00Oh, Gomez.
00:05:01You have torn down my walls and stabbed your name onto my heart.
00:05:07My one temperance.
00:05:09Your hand is as cold as a dead fish.
00:05:12My love, that is a dead fish.
00:05:17So it is.
00:05:23Darling?
00:05:24Is that a wrinkle I see on your pallid brow?
00:05:28What's wrong?
00:05:29We can't run forever, my love.
00:05:32I want a home again.
00:05:34I want our children to grow up in peace.
00:05:36I want to pick out cemetery plots.
00:05:39Morticia, I swear on my life, I will find us a new home, and your every wish shall be granted.
00:05:46Mon amour.
00:05:48French.
00:05:49You know what that does to me?
00:05:52Nouveau riche.
00:05:53Je ne sais moi.
00:05:58No.
00:06:06We hit something.
00:06:15Is he alright?
00:06:18No, he seems perfectly demented state hospital for the criminally insane
00:06:25Gomez
00:06:32Oh, thank goodness a decent place to sleep for the night
00:06:42Thank you old boy lead the way
00:06:47Oh
00:07:02It's quiet too quiet must be the offseason
00:07:15Hello
00:07:20There's no one here
00:07:22Could it be abandoned
00:07:24It's creepy
00:07:26Cookie
00:07:27Mysterious
00:07:29Spooky
00:07:30Oh
00:07:46Oh
00:07:47Oh
00:07:48Oh
00:07:49Oh
00:07:50Oh
00:07:52Oh
00:08:00Oh
00:08:04Oh
00:08:06Oh
00:08:06Oh
00:08:06Oh
00:08:07Oh
00:08:09Oh
00:08:09Oh
00:08:10Oh
00:08:17Oh
00:08:17Oh
00:08:17Oh
00:08:17Oh
00:08:17Oh
00:08:17Oh
00:08:17Oh
00:08:17Oh
00:08:29Oh
00:08:29Oh
00:08:31Oh
00:08:32It's hideous
00:08:35It's horrible
00:08:37It's home
00:08:41Oh
00:08:42Oh
00:08:45Oh
00:08:45Oh
00:08:47Oh
00:08:47Oh
00:08:48Oh
00:08:59Oh
00:09:02Oh
00:09:05Oh
00:09:14Oh, my God.
00:09:37Oh, my God.
00:10:34Oh, my God.
00:10:47Oh, my God.
00:11:05Oh, my God.
00:11:37Oh, my God.
00:12:00Oh, my God.
00:12:03Oh, my God.
00:12:08Oh, my God.
00:12:13Oh, my God.
00:12:40Oh, my God.
00:12:48Oh, my God.
00:13:02Oh, my God.
00:13:06Oh, my God.
00:13:14Oh, my God.
00:13:17Oh, my God.
00:13:21Oh, my God.
00:13:30Oh, my God.
00:13:51It's time for sword practice.
00:13:55Let the games begin.
00:14:25Here's Bugsley!
00:14:44All right, son.
00:14:45That's enough.
00:14:48They blow up so fast these days.
00:15:02Don't make me come up there!
00:15:10This is your last warning!
00:15:24Oh, my head.
00:15:26Ow, ow, ow.
00:15:28Bugsley, we're supposed to be working on your sword play.
00:15:31Your sabermasurka is two weeks away, and you've barely practiced at all.
00:15:35So I missed one practice.
00:15:37What's the big deal?
00:15:37The big deal?
00:15:39The sabermasurka is the most important day in a young man's life.
00:15:43It's what makes you an atom.
00:15:45It's the day your entire family gathers around you and passes judgment on your worth as a human being.
00:15:51I hear it's like Thanksgiving.
00:15:53But swords are so old-fashioned.
00:15:56I'm more of a demolitions man.
00:15:58Explosives have no place in a masurka.
00:16:01Hand them over.
00:16:05All of them.
00:16:08And the TNT.
00:16:09And the M-80s.
00:16:12Roman candles.
00:16:13Bang snaps.
00:16:14Holy hand grenades.
00:16:16Son, our family hasn't been all together in 13 years.
00:16:21They are coming from all over the world to see you on your special day.
00:16:25I just want it to go perfectly.
00:16:28All right, Pop.
00:16:29I'll practice.
00:16:30That's my boy.
00:16:39Putrid.
00:16:40Horrifying.
00:16:41I call spleen.
00:16:47Wednesday.
00:16:48Please, no ink stains on the table.
00:16:50Yes, mother.
00:16:55Gomez.
00:16:56Everyone we've invited to the mazurka has threatened to come.
00:16:58I know.
00:16:59Isn't it wonderful?
00:17:02All Adams is under one roof again.
00:17:05Yes, but where will everyone sleep?
00:17:07We'll have Lurch fix up the mausoleum.
00:17:10It'll be like sleepaway camp.
00:17:12Very well, darling.
00:17:18Uncle Pastor.
00:17:20Brother!
00:17:24Don't worry, I'm okay.
00:17:26The plate glass window broke my fall.
00:17:38Ha!
00:17:41Don't worry, dammit.
00:17:42Actually, we weren't expecting you for another two weeks.
00:17:44Huh.
00:17:45So not late.
00:17:46I apologize, darling.
00:17:48You see, I asked Fester to come early to help Pogsley with his mazurka practice.
00:17:52Hey!
00:17:54Hey!
00:18:22That's a damn clue!
00:18:22And I should like to investigate.
00:18:24There's nothing out there but boring marshland.
00:18:26There must be something.
00:18:27We never go anywhere.
00:18:29Who knows the untold horrors we're missing out on?
00:18:32Darling, we have all the horror we need right here.
00:18:35Uncle Fester can go wherever he likes.
00:18:38Now, now, there are some restrictions.
00:18:40You know, I can't go to the mall, or a zoo, or a building.
00:18:44When you're older, you can travel to your heart's content.
00:18:47But for now, it's safer for you here.
00:18:52Socrates, come.
00:18:53Mexico, snow gold, South America, Europe, China, Asia, most parts of Africa.
00:19:00I'm allowed in Antarctica!
00:19:15You're watching home, art, and garden television.
00:19:20The world's a big place full of poor souls who don't know the difference between shiplap and shinola.
00:19:26Well, I'm here to help!
00:19:29I take your uninspired living space and turn it into the perfect palace of your dreams.
00:19:35No matter how outdated your design sense, I can help you.
00:19:40My only flaw?
00:19:42Sometimes I care too much.
00:19:45I'm Margot Needler, and I'm about to stage a design intervention!
00:19:51You're welcome in advance.
00:19:53Today, we're putting the finishing touches on our biggest project yet, assimilation.
00:19:59We didn't just make over a house.
00:20:01We made over a whole town!
00:20:05And in just two weeks on our live season finale, you will be able to buy your very own piece
00:20:09of assimilation.
00:20:10That's right.
00:20:11In a design intervention first, we are putting a whole neighborhood up for sale.
00:20:17This will be your chance to purchase the house of your dreams in the town of your dreams.
00:20:22Sounds good?
00:20:23I thought so.
00:20:24Welcome to Assimilation, Neighborhood.
00:20:28This program brought to you by Neighborhood Peeps.
00:20:30Your neighbors are watching.
00:20:34And we're out!
00:20:36Love it. Perfect.
00:20:37Let's set up for the walkthrough.
00:20:39Margot.
00:20:39Did that feel good to you?
00:20:40No, Glenn.
00:20:42We need more balloons.
00:20:43More confetti.
00:20:44Roger that.
00:20:44What are we selling here?
00:20:46Big dreams.
00:20:47You know how you get big dreams?
00:20:49With big ratings.
00:20:51Got it.
00:20:51Double the balloons, and I want a blizzard of confetti.
00:20:53I want so much confetti that we need snow patrols to find lost children.
00:20:57I bet my home improvement empire on this town.
00:21:00Every house must sell or we're out of business.
00:21:02It's got to be perfect.
00:21:04Mom!
00:21:05You're never going to believe this.
00:21:06What is it, Parker?
00:21:07I found a creepy mansion up on the hill.
00:21:10I'm so glad you're exploring, Parker, but I don't have time to talk right now, sweetheart.
00:21:14Mama needs to help people.
00:21:15I need help.
00:21:16Aren't I people?
00:21:18Oh, you're cute.
00:21:19Don't you have chipper and cheer practice this afternoon?
00:21:21Run along, honey.
00:21:23Now, Glenn, what are the numbers we're expecting?
00:21:24Mom!
00:21:37Left a bit, up a bit.
00:21:41Now, down a bit.
00:21:43Perfect.
00:21:46And three, two, one.
00:21:50You're right!
00:21:54You made me miss.
00:21:56Do you know how long it took for me to set this up?
00:22:01Look, Pugsley.
00:22:02Your mazurka's coming up and, well, you're not ready.
00:22:06Even if I am the only one who sees it.
00:22:09So, pay attention.
00:22:11And you might actually get through this.
00:22:13Wait.
00:22:14You're going to help me?
00:22:17Why?
00:22:18Because you are my brother.
00:22:22And I love you.
00:22:30All right.
00:22:32How are you going to help me?
00:22:33You see that hole over there?
00:22:34Go stand beside it.
00:22:37Uh, that hole?
00:22:39That hole.
00:22:40Hmm, I don't get it.
00:22:46Whoa.
00:22:48Whoa.
00:22:59Darling, not to criticize.
00:23:01But is that really as tight as you can make it?
00:23:04I'm sorry, Gomez.
00:23:05I'm just a bit preoccupied with the mazurka preparations.
00:23:08Oh, I am as well.
00:23:11I fear Pugsley is overconfident
00:23:13and doesn't truly understand the importance of this tradition.
00:23:18Good news, everybody.
00:23:19Pugsley's gone.
00:23:20Wednesday, I know that tone of voice.
00:23:22Dig up your brother at once.
00:23:25You're weakening the gene pool.
00:23:27Hold on.
00:23:27What do you have there?
00:23:29I'm not sure.
00:23:30I like it.
00:23:32It's so, what's the word?
00:23:35Opposite of sad?
00:23:36Darling, bring that to me.
00:23:41Strange, there's usually a murderous clown
00:23:44attached to the other end of these.
00:23:47Wednesday, don't move.
00:23:50What in the name of all that is unholy is that?
00:23:55It tastes like cotton candy.
00:23:58How do you know what cotton candy tastes like?
00:24:00Tish, it was my youth.
00:24:01I made mistakes.
00:24:02Wednesday, wherever did this pink thing come from?
00:24:05Outside, they're everywhere.
00:24:16Strangest weather system I've ever seen.
00:24:24What is that?
00:24:27Where's it coming from?
00:24:28Wait, wait, wait.
00:24:29The fog, it's lifting.
00:24:32Well, that would only happen if...
00:24:34Someone drained the marsh.
00:24:36But who?
00:24:39A town.
00:24:41This is not good.
00:24:43We must go down there and introduce ourselves at once.
00:24:46This day is becoming most wonderfully disruptive.
00:25:03Let's keep going with the run-through, okay?
00:25:05Welcome back.
00:25:06I'm so delighted to show you my house.
00:25:08You can own one just like it.
00:25:10Just less large.
00:25:11Blah, blah, blah.
00:25:12Sconces, crown molding.
00:25:14Which leads us to what I call the Salon du Grandet.
00:25:17Cross here, turn, and then say something like...
00:25:20Now, before I show you this view,
00:25:22go to an antique store,
00:25:24buy a chair,
00:25:25and reupholster it.
00:25:26Because you're going to want to sit down for this.
00:25:31What?
00:25:32What's the matter?
00:25:33For heaven's sake, what's going on?
00:25:35Do I have something on my teeth?
00:25:36What is it?
00:25:47Not a single gargoyle.
00:25:48Maybe this isn't such a bad thing.
00:25:50We have been isolated here for a while.
00:25:52I can really see myself dying here.
00:25:57Play knives, kitty.
00:26:00Well, no one is running at us with torches and pitchforks,
00:26:03so that's a plus.
00:26:05You know, darling,
00:26:06I don't think we'll need to put the family in the mausoleum.
00:26:09They can stay here.
00:26:11The family will never be comfortable.
00:26:13It will be years before rust and decay set in.
00:26:16How you doing?
00:26:17It's all so different.
00:26:21Pugsley, don't drink at all.
00:26:23This gentleman wants some too.
00:26:26Fair, it's all right.
00:26:28He's had all his shots.
00:26:30What a nervous man.
00:26:31Come on, Tish, let's explore the neighborhood.
00:26:34I'm going to pop in here for two minutes,
00:26:36and I'll meet you in the town square.
00:26:38Agreed?
00:26:39Very well, darling.
00:26:41Good day, all.
00:26:44Don't let me interrupt your cup of joe,
00:26:47or whoever you have in there.
00:26:49So, what's dark and bitter here,
00:26:51other than yours truly?
00:26:53We have the Madagascar Emerald Pea Berry
00:26:57and a summer patchouli roast.
00:26:58It has notes of oak, cherry, and yoga.
00:27:03Hmm.
00:27:04You know, I'm looking for something a bit stronger.
00:27:08Ah, let me try that.
00:27:13Mmm, Martita, you have to try these coffee grounds.
00:27:17They have a wonderful grit.
00:27:18Just a moment.
00:27:19What am I hearing?
00:27:21Where we all belong, everybody come together,
00:27:25sing our song, sing our song.
00:27:28Life is really perfect, we are one big family.
00:27:32Everything is so much better,
00:27:34and I'm like you and you're like me.
00:27:37What's so great about being yourself
00:27:40when you can be like everyone else?
00:27:44Wow, that is absolutely power.
00:27:48It's easy to be happy when you have no choice.
00:27:51Says it's easy to be happy when you have no choice.
00:27:55Hold on, unless I miss my guess here,
00:27:57I believe that is supposed to be music.
00:28:00They're greeting us with one of their traditional songs.
00:28:03Well, then we want to do the same.
00:28:05Wonderful idea.
00:28:06When it's great when we are all together.
00:28:09Say it again until you believe it.
00:28:13I believe it.
00:28:20I did my hat to you.
00:28:22I do just that.
00:28:24Take it right off of you,
00:28:26but I haven't got a hat.
00:28:28I did my hat to you,
00:28:34but I haven't got a hat.
00:28:38Oh, God!
00:28:42What'd I do?
00:28:44How rude.
00:28:45Gomez, we should return home.
00:28:48Morticia, this is not the old country.
00:28:50True, these people are a little different,
00:28:53but deep down, we're all the same.
00:28:56We have to give them a chance,
00:28:58get to know them.
00:28:59We have to win them over.
00:29:00Win them over.
00:29:02Well, good morning, neighbor.
00:29:05Margot Needler.
00:29:07Gomez Adams, at your service.
00:29:10My wife, Morticia.
00:29:12Charmed.
00:29:13Our children, Wednesday, Boxley,
00:29:15and my brother, Feste.
00:29:17Hey, neighbor.
00:29:18You know, we can see right into your windows.
00:29:21It's nice to meet you.
00:29:24As your neighbor,
00:29:25I'd like to offer you
00:29:27the opportunity of a lifetime.
00:29:29How'd you like a free home makeover
00:29:31from a world-renowned interior designer?
00:29:34It will be a challenge,
00:29:35but I could beautify that old house of yours
00:29:37so fast it'll make your head spin.
00:29:39I don't want to brag,
00:29:40but mine already done, Shed.
00:29:41Look.
00:29:44I should like to see
00:29:45what this plastic woman has to offer.
00:29:47Yes, well...
00:29:49When is a good time to stop by?
00:29:50Actually, Miss Needler...
00:29:53Darling?
00:29:55Stop by anytime you'd like.
00:29:58Oh, wonderful!
00:29:59Then it's settled.
00:30:00I'll see you at your house
00:30:01first thing tomorrow.
00:30:03You're welcome in advance.
00:30:05Tough!
00:30:08That woman seems deranged.
00:30:10Her face reminds me of a death mask.
00:30:12Deranged?
00:30:13Death mask?
00:30:14You tell me she's got halitosis
00:30:17and I'm hearing wedding bells.
00:30:30Boxley,
00:30:32this is the Adams family saver.
00:30:36Three hundred years of Adams
00:30:38have danced the masutka
00:30:40with this blade.
00:30:42Uh-uh!
00:30:44Only when you've shown me you're ready.
00:30:46Your father
00:30:47was the greatest swordsman
00:30:49in Adams' history.
00:30:51His masutka was the stuff of legends.
00:30:55So no pressure!
00:30:57It's all right here
00:30:59in the masutka handbook.
00:31:01Every Adams performs
00:31:03this rite of passage
00:31:04to show that you're prepared
00:31:06to defend your family.
00:31:08It sounds easy,
00:31:09but believe me,
00:31:10it's insane!
00:31:11Faster, hand him
00:31:12the goo-goo-ga-ga-baby
00:31:13training sword.
00:31:16Pop?
00:31:17Has anyone ever
00:31:18failed the masutka?
00:31:20Once.
00:31:20Your third cousin, Zander.
00:31:22Never heard of him.
00:31:23Exactly.
00:31:24Music!
00:31:27There's someone at the door.
00:31:28Hi, guys.
00:31:29I'm going up to this creepy mansion.
00:31:32If you don't hear from me
00:31:33in 30 minutes,
00:31:34send back up.
00:31:45You reigns!
00:31:47You reigns!
00:31:50Yeah, no.
00:31:52Life's too short.
00:31:53See ya!
00:32:02Good morning, cutie!
00:32:04Greetings, Miss Needless.
00:32:10Good morning!
00:32:12I hope this isn't a bad time.
00:32:14The worst!
00:32:15Do come in.
00:32:16The land?
00:32:21Welcome to the neighborhood.
00:32:26Oh, my!
00:32:27Are you ready
00:32:29for your Marco makeover?
00:32:30Quiet.
00:32:31Hugsley's been climbing
00:32:33the walls in anticipation.
00:32:39Well, well, well.
00:32:41Let's take a look around,
00:32:43shall we?
00:32:43And before you say anything,
00:32:45you're welcome.
00:32:46Now, if we're trying
00:32:48for a more contemporary look,
00:32:50well,
00:32:51these sconces have to go.
00:32:56The sconces will get
00:32:57from dead relatives.
00:32:59If we get rid of them,
00:33:00they'll be terribly hurt
00:33:01the next time they visit.
00:33:04And this is our wine cellar.
00:33:07We have a lovely collection
00:33:08of wines.
00:33:10Are we there, ya?
00:33:11Hi, guys.
00:33:11What do you mean
00:33:12you're out of all the time?
00:33:13This barrel,
00:33:14they feel like you're bad.
00:33:15And here's our bottomless pit.
00:33:19Uh, how do we get across?
00:33:22One moment.
00:33:36We call this
00:33:37surfing the web.
00:33:45I'm scared.
00:33:46I'm scared.
00:33:46Um.
00:33:47Oh, my God.
00:33:48Oh, my God.
00:33:49I'm scared.
00:33:52Oh, my God.
00:33:53Oh, my gosh.
00:34:13How do all those people fit in that little contraption?
00:34:17What happened?
00:34:18My vanity mirror only imprisons 14 souls at a time.
00:34:21Well, uh, uh, you don't have a cell phone?
00:34:25That's weird.
00:34:26I may not have a cell phone.
00:34:28Well, you don't have a crossbow, and I thought everybody had one of those.
00:34:36My name is Wednesday.
00:34:38Okay, uh, I'm Parker.
00:34:41How long have you lived here?
00:34:43My whole life, which seems endless.
00:34:47I've never seen you at school.
00:34:49I'm cage-schooled.
00:34:50Excuse me?
00:34:51It's terribly dull, but my mother insists.
00:34:58I'm actually cutting cage right now.
00:35:02Uh, okay?
00:35:04So what happens at your school?
00:35:06Uh, not much.
00:35:08Just friends turning on each other.
00:35:10Girls making other girls feel bad about themselves.
00:35:13Typical junior high stuff.
00:35:14Intriguing.
00:35:18Can anyone go to your school?
00:35:21I guess so, but who'd want to?
00:35:24When's that?
00:35:25Great shot.
00:35:43Mr. and Mrs. Adams, there's really not much to do to make this place perfect.
00:35:48All we have to do is pull down the side walls, and then also break down the other two walls.
00:35:55Whoa!
00:35:56Open up the ceiling by breaking it irreversibly.
00:36:00Just get this nasty little floor out of the way, and there you go.
00:36:05With just those little touches.
00:36:07Stop!
00:36:08Right there!
00:36:09Don't touch another thing.
00:36:11It's perfect.
00:36:13Miss Needler, you have a gift.
00:36:15The good news is I can have a makeover crew up here and swinging hammers first thing in the morning.
00:36:21What do you say?
00:36:22We thought you were finished.
00:36:24Our whole family is coming in two weeks.
00:36:26Our finale!
00:36:27Ah, our finale is in two weeks.
00:36:30Thank you, Glenn.
00:36:31It's a gracious offer, Miss Needler, but you really have done enough.
00:36:35It's our son's masurka.
00:36:37You understand.
00:36:44Uh, we're missing Mitch.
00:36:46Where's Mitch?
00:36:49Get out!
00:36:52Mitch who?
00:36:56Gomez, I'll be blunt.
00:36:58I have 50 houses to sell down there, and their view of your property is, well, off-brand.
00:37:0850 houses?
00:37:09Yes.
00:37:10You know, ever since my family was chased out from the old country,
00:37:14my one dream has been to find a place we could call home.
00:37:19Once they see assimilation, I think they'll want to stay for good.
00:37:25Suasa?
00:37:26Thank you so much for coming by, Membrane.
00:37:30It's Margo.
00:37:31Well then.
00:37:32Run, Margo!
00:37:35Run, run, run!
00:37:37You are!
00:37:42That Wednesday girl is a freak.
00:37:45We're about to be invaded by a whole army of freaks.
00:37:49It's tragic when people can't accept the help they so badly need.
00:37:53And when that happens, well, another kind of intervention is called for.
00:37:59I agree, Gomez.
00:38:01The whole family moving here would be a dream come true.
00:38:04But I don't trust that Margo woman.
00:38:06She's an eccentric, darling. Give her a chance.
00:38:11Rasp berry preserves.
00:38:14Hmm. Must be some kind of scented embalming fluid.
00:38:20Wednesday, practice your lurking on someone other than your father.
00:38:24He's too easy.
00:38:27Much better.
00:38:29Mother, father, I'd like to speak with you.
00:38:31What's on your mind, my little nightcrawler?
00:38:34I spoke with Parker this afternoon.
00:38:36She's the daughter of that talking mannequin who came by.
00:38:39She told me about a communal school all the neighborhood children attend.
00:38:43It's called Junior High.
00:38:46Junior High.
00:38:48Yes. Yes, I have read about those in my abnormal psychology journals.
00:38:53Anyone of age can enroll.
00:38:55I think it would be good for me.
00:38:59Well, I think it's a capital idea.
00:39:02What if your study's here?
00:39:03Your taxidermy is coming along so well.
00:39:06Mother, would you really deprive me of the opportunity to torment children my own age?
00:39:11Ah, she makes a point.
00:39:14What's more, with Wednesday in school, we get to know the people here even better.
00:39:21Well, mother...
00:39:34Have a good day at school, dear.
00:39:38Do your worst!
00:39:45Oh, now I understand.
00:39:48This is a children's prison.
00:39:53Who's that?
00:39:55Great.
00:39:57This is Wednesday.
00:39:59Hello.
00:40:01Hey, Parker.
00:40:04Hey, got something for you.
00:40:08A moldy sandwich.
00:40:11You're slipping, Bethany.
00:40:12You know what?
00:40:13You're right.
00:40:15Let's pick it up a notch.
00:40:24You have no sense of humor.
00:40:28Did you hear her face?
00:40:30I know.
00:40:31Bethany, is it?
00:40:32Don't cut your eyes on my crew unless you're ready to dance.
00:40:37What did you say?
00:40:39Little ghoul?
00:40:41I don't think you understand.
00:40:44I'm not locked up in here with you, Bethany.
00:40:47You're locked up in here with me.
00:40:55Whatever.
00:40:58What did you do?
00:41:00You shouldn't have said that.
00:41:02There's nothing you can do.
00:41:03Bethany's way too popular.
00:41:05Popularity is fleeting.
00:41:07I prefer to set my sights on something a little more challenging.
00:41:11Like what?
00:41:12The establishment.
00:41:17What?
00:41:30Let's see.
00:41:32Who shall I be today?
00:41:35How about...
00:41:36Ah, Chalet Longbottom on Sugar Ridge Lane.
00:41:39From Chalet Longbottom to everyone.
00:41:43Did you hear about those Adams people?
00:41:47Question mark.
00:41:48Someone told me they're wanted in 30 states.
00:41:55They know they're raising a garden of man-eating plants and feeding them our pets.
00:42:00Has anyone seen my shih tzu peepee?
00:42:01They're going to turn us all into zombies.
00:42:04Where are they from anyways?
00:42:05It doesn't matter.
00:42:06It's obvious they don't belong here.
00:42:08Honey?
00:42:08All those awful people up on the hill.
00:42:11They're not even on neighborhood peeps.
00:42:13Well, that's suspicious.
00:42:15If other people are scared, then I'm scared.
00:42:16I believe everything I need.
00:42:17I'm not going to be the last person on the block to family.
00:42:20It must be.
00:42:21You invite one family and then all the families come in.
00:42:23We should have that to get the heart rate.
00:42:25We need to talk to Margo.
00:42:32Open your books.
00:42:33Page 43.
00:42:34Follow the instructions.
00:42:37Yuck.
00:42:37Oh, I've done this thousands of times.
00:42:56Flip the switch.
00:43:26Flip the switch.
00:43:29Flip the switch.
00:43:31Flip the switch.
00:43:45Flip the switch.
00:43:47It's alive!
00:43:49It's alive!
00:43:52Lifeless.
00:43:55No!
00:43:58No!
00:44:05You're a thief!
00:44:09No!
00:44:09We gotta!
00:44:10We gotta get them off!
00:44:11No!
00:44:19Where are you?
00:44:22Bethany's changed her look.
00:44:24It suits her.
00:44:26Awesome. Totally awesome.
00:44:28It is an honor and a privilege to watch you work.
00:44:32Hey, do you want to go to the mall?
00:44:35Why not? I haven't seen a good mall in ages.
00:44:59It's late. I'm worried.
00:45:02Darling, Wednesday will be fine. She can take care of herself.
00:45:06It's not Wednesday I'm worried about. It's the rest of them.
00:45:10We may need to provide an alibi.
00:45:12My love, it's game night. Wednesday will be home soon.
00:45:16So why don't you come and join us?
00:45:18Oh, very well.
00:45:20F-6.
00:45:21Puxley, you heard your mother.
00:45:24Blow F-6.
00:45:27Fire in the hole.
00:45:29I'm king of the world.
00:45:31Mirror, fire, wherever.
00:45:42Yes.
00:45:43You sunk my battleship.
00:45:45Well done, Puxley.
00:45:56Hello, my yuglies.
00:45:58Mother!
00:45:59I thought I felt my skin crawling.
00:46:03Grandma, what a surprise.
00:46:06I thought you were in Prague.
00:46:07I was.
00:46:08I was.
00:46:09They caught me smuggling crocodiles out of the zoo.
00:46:11But I escaped and talked my way onto a Somali pirate ship.
00:46:14We got into a heated poker game and I cleaned them out.
00:46:18Cheating or robbery?
00:46:20Both.
00:46:21Always remember, Puxley.
00:46:22It ain't cheating.
00:46:23If no one catches you.
00:46:26You haven't bathed in two weeks.
00:46:27Ugh.
00:46:28Or is it months?
00:46:29Ha!
00:46:29That reminds me.
00:46:31Guess what I've got, Puxley.
00:46:33Candy.
00:46:34Oh, yes.
00:46:35But the mazorca isn't for a week.
00:46:37Why are you here so early?
00:46:39Gomez said you needed a little help with the party.
00:46:42And I said I got my son ready for his mazorca.
00:46:45So, of course, I'm going to do the same for my grandson.
00:46:48I love him.
00:46:50It's true.
00:46:50I sent for her.
00:46:52I can't believe you bothered your mother with that, darling.
00:46:56Neither can I.
00:46:57He said you were in over your head.
00:46:59Thank you, mother.
00:47:00He said you were more tense than he's ever seen you.
00:47:02I didn't say that exactly.
00:47:04Yes, you did.
00:47:04You said that exactly.
00:47:06Said he was worried you'd have a massive facial expression and...
00:47:09You know, I'm starving.
00:47:11Let's eat.
00:47:12Not until Wednesday gets home.
00:47:15Where is that granddaddy of mine?
00:47:17I got something for her.
00:47:20Ah, there's my little storm cloud.
00:47:23Wednesday, where have you been?
00:47:26Elsewhere.
00:47:37What are you wearing?
00:47:39Parker calls it a pop of color.
00:47:41Well, I certainly appreciate a horse with a spear through its head.
00:47:44The color is...
00:47:45She claims it brings out my smile.
00:47:47Wednesday, you don't have a smile.
00:47:49Turns out I have a lot of things you don't know about.
00:47:56I see I got here just in time.
00:47:59You are right to call Gomez.
00:48:00I'll talk to her.
00:48:01Hand me that bear trap.
00:48:03Thank you, Grandma.
00:48:04But I will handle this.
00:48:06Ah, suit yourself.
00:48:11When you're done with Fabio,
00:48:12send him up to my room.
00:48:15Oh, boy.
00:48:21How would you like to join me tomorrow
00:48:23after the school
00:48:25for tea and seance in the cemetery?
00:48:28Is attendance mandatory?
00:48:30Come now, my little raven.
00:48:31You did so love it when you were younger.
00:48:34If you like, Mother.
00:48:37Sleep well, dear.
00:48:39Don't forget to kick your father goodnight.
00:48:47What's your favorite filter?
00:48:48I don't know.
00:48:49I look black and white in all of them.
00:48:51You know, when I met you,
00:48:53I thought you were super weird.
00:48:55But now I think you're really cool.
00:48:56I concur.
00:48:57You're not completely devoid of merit yourself.
00:48:59I want to say thank you.
00:49:04Oh, how'd that barrette you bought yesterday
00:49:06go over at home?
00:49:07Actually, my mother's reaction was,
00:49:09well, unexpected.
00:49:11She was accepting.
00:49:13It depressed me.
00:49:15One never wants to see one's mother that way.
00:49:18But I must admit,
00:49:19walking around in something so garish,
00:49:22so grotesque,
00:49:24I was shocked how thrilling it felt.
00:49:27I wish I could do that.
00:49:29But my mom makes me wear this stuff
00:49:31and it's just so, so...
00:49:33I believe the word you're looking for is
00:49:36unfortunate.
00:49:37Ugh.
00:49:38I'd love to just go crazy
00:49:40and wear something that would shock her.
00:49:44Well, Parker, you're in luck.
00:49:46You happen to be talking to the queen of shock.
00:50:11Hello, mother.
00:50:12Where's my little ring?
00:50:14Wednesday still hasn't arrived.
00:50:16We agreed to come up here for tea and seance
00:50:19and now it seems she stood me up.
00:50:21Morticia, can you hear me?
00:50:23You're not doing it right.
00:50:25Press that button there.
00:50:25I did, I did.
00:50:26Did you hear a click?
00:50:27Morticia!
00:50:27It's supposed to be on when you hear the click.
00:50:30Wait, I see something.
00:50:31You did it!
00:50:31Oh, darling!
00:50:32Now, where's my granddaughter?
00:50:34Just what I said.
00:50:35I think she's distancing herself from me.
00:50:38Oh, she's right to the black hole of emptiness
00:50:40and longing like all of us from women.
00:50:42Wednesday!
00:50:43It's not Wednesday!
00:50:45Who's this?
00:50:45It's me, father.
00:50:47Morticia!
00:50:47What's wrong with you now?
00:50:50The world can be so cruel.
00:50:52And all she wants to do is run toward it.
00:50:55She's a lot like you that way.
00:50:56You wanted to see the world find yourself
00:50:59and serve time.
00:51:00Listen, Morticia.
00:51:02Remember the time you ran away
00:51:04and joined the Goyal Scouts?
00:51:06We were so worried you were on a bad path.
00:51:09But when you found out that campfires
00:51:12were for roasting marshmallows
00:51:13and not other Girl Scouts,
00:51:15well, you got bored and you came home.
00:51:17We were so relieved.
00:51:20Trust Wednesday.
00:51:21Like you, she'll do the right thing.
00:51:24Thank you, father.
00:51:26That's most comforting.
00:51:28Good.
00:51:29Wait a second.
00:51:30When did I die?
00:51:31Twenty years ago.
00:51:33All right.
00:51:33Happy anniversary, darling.
00:51:35All right, Pugsley.
00:51:37Let's go through it again.
00:51:39You got this, Pugsley.
00:51:41This mazorca's nothing.
00:51:44You eat yours for breakfast.
00:51:46You just got a case of pre-balled jitters.
00:51:50It's way more common than you think.
00:51:52If a mazorca lasts for more than four hours,
00:51:54contact your doctor.
00:51:57From the top, music.
00:52:14Foxley, I can honestly say that was most definitely a thing you did.
00:52:21A question.
00:52:23What in heaven's name was it?
00:52:25The saber mazorca.
00:52:28You know what?
00:52:29You've been practicing hard.
00:52:31Why don't we call it a day?
00:52:32Hit the showers, kid.
00:52:35So we're finished?
00:52:36Ah, yes.
00:52:37Yes, son.
00:52:38We are most certainly finished.
00:52:42Okay.
00:52:42Thanks, Pop.
00:52:43Thanks, Uncle Fester.
00:52:49This is a complete disaster.
00:52:52How did this happen?
00:52:53But he's going to make a fool of himself in front of everyone.
00:52:56Come in.
00:52:56You gotta calm down.
00:52:58There's still a day to get him ready.
00:53:00Fester, a year wouldn't be enough to get him ready.
00:53:04I failed him, Fester.
00:53:06I tried to raise him to be an Adams, but I failed.
00:53:10They're going to eat him alive.
00:53:15I like it like that.
00:53:17I said, I like it like that.
00:53:21I see, I see.
00:53:23I like it like that.
00:53:25All right.
00:53:27Grandma, we already have a band.
00:53:29They came highly recommended from the mortuary.
00:53:32Oh, I'm sure they're good.
00:53:35My sister Sloome is going to be judging Pugsley.
00:53:38And if things aren't done the traditional way, she won't be hippie.
00:53:41And the mazorca could be a disaster.
00:53:44Oh, but what do I know?
00:53:46Fine.
00:53:47We got it!
00:53:50One more thing.
00:53:51Oh, someone's at the door.
00:53:52I better go see who it is.
00:54:01What's so great about being yourself, when you can be like everyone else?
00:54:09Do not speak to your mother that way.
00:54:12How dare you enter this house like that?
00:54:14Wait, where are your tattoos?
00:54:18Oh, thank the stars.
00:54:20Where were you?
00:54:21Hanging out with Parker.
00:54:23Is this why you skipped tea and seance?
00:54:26Your grandparents were trying to contact you.
00:54:28Holy headies!
00:54:29Whoever did that to you Wednesday?
00:54:31I hope the other guy looks wise.
00:54:33Nobody did this to me.
00:54:34This is my new look.
00:54:36Do you like it?
00:54:37I do not like it.
00:54:38Everyone knows pink is a gateway color.
00:54:41I warned you about sending her to public school.
00:54:43Don't worry.
00:54:44Wednesday is never going to that school again.
00:54:46What?
00:54:47In fact, she's never leaving this house again.
00:54:53Wow, that's some evil eye she's got there.
00:54:56No, that dead eye stare is new.
00:54:59And I think I know where she got it.
00:55:02Hey guys, this is me now.
00:55:04If you like it, hit like.
00:55:06But who cares if you like it?
00:55:07I'm living my truth.
00:55:08Ah!
00:55:10Walker!
00:55:12Who did this to you?
00:55:13I did.
00:55:15This is my new look, mother.
00:55:17I've decided that from now on, I choose my clothes.
00:55:20Not you.
00:55:21Oh!
00:55:22This is that little creep Wednesday Addams' work.
00:55:25She's not a creep.
00:55:26She's just not like you.
00:55:28Why can't you ever let people be different?
00:55:30Because it's my calling to make everyone the same.
00:55:35Too bright!
00:55:36It burns!
00:55:38Good!
00:55:39Maybe it'll burn away the weird.
00:55:41I hate it here.
00:55:42Everything's boring and fake and bright like plastic flowers.
00:55:45Like, like you.
00:55:47Parker!
00:55:48Plastic flowers live forever.
00:55:51Now you go think about that in your room.
00:55:54With no social media.
00:55:56No!
00:55:56Please, no!
00:55:58Anything but that!
00:55:59Now go wipe that depressing goop off your face.
00:56:01Pfft.
00:56:02You first.
00:56:03Oh!
00:56:04Those Addams' have gone too far this time.
00:56:07I think they're going to need a little more help.
00:56:25Hey!
00:56:28Where are you going?
00:56:31A friend.
00:56:32I hold people prisoner, not the other way around.
00:56:37Good luck with your mazurka.
00:56:39Wait!
00:56:40You're leaving?
00:56:41Who's going to torment me every day?
00:56:43Living under this roof is all the torment you'll need.
00:56:46Besides, our parents have made it clear that the only way to be accepted in this family
00:56:51is to be exactly like them.
00:56:54I can't play by those rules anymore.
00:56:57Farewell, brother Pugsley.
00:56:59Tomorrow you become a man.
00:57:01And I become a fugitive.
00:57:05Always kind of knew it'd end up like this.
00:57:08Just didn't think it'd be so soon.
00:57:11I'll never forget you, Pugsley.
00:57:13But I'll try.
00:57:15Pugsley.
00:57:16Have you seen your sister?
00:57:18She's not in her room.
00:57:21Pugsley, where's Wednesday?
00:57:27Tick-tock.
00:57:29Tick-tock, mother.
00:57:32You're getting very sleepy.
00:57:35Pugsley.
00:57:36She did not go to her friend's house.
00:57:39She went to her friend's house?
00:57:41I repeat, she did not go to her friend's.
00:57:45Ugh!
00:58:11When the day is long
00:58:16In the night, the night is yours alone
00:58:26When it's sure you better know
00:58:31Of this life, hang on
00:58:42Don't let yourself go
00:58:49Cause everybody hurts
00:58:57And everybody hurts
00:59:02I shall be staying with you for a while
00:59:11Everybody hurts
00:59:18If this doesn't work, the next house we flip is gonna land on you.
00:59:21Marty, listen to me. Tomorrow, our finale will be the biggest half hour your network has ever aired.
00:59:26There's just one more thing to take care of.
00:59:29This better be good or you won't be able to get a job as a doorman.
00:59:31Yes, yes, yes. I intend to bring the house down.
01:00:20Here we go.
01:00:21It's Kossen.
01:00:22You made it.
01:00:23We're great.
01:00:24Yeah, please come in.
01:00:25Make yourself at home.
01:00:26No more O
01:00:29Where did she hide my phone?
01:00:30I haven't been able to post a photo of my lunch in almost three days.
01:00:34And what about in there?
01:00:37That's my mom's crafting room. No one is allowed in there.
01:00:41Then that's where it is.
01:00:50Weird.
01:01:05Whoa. Hidden depths.
01:01:07What is this?
01:01:09There's Mr. Haney making a sandwich.
01:01:12And that guy trying to put a tiny tuxedo on his cat.
01:01:15That's Mr. Flynn.
01:01:18My money's on the cat.
01:01:20And there's our science teacher, Ms. Gravely,
01:01:23putting her underwear in the freezer.
01:01:25My mom must have built hidden cameras into all of the houses.
01:01:31She really is psycho.
01:01:33Parker!
01:01:35Hey, Mom!
01:01:37We were just looking for you.
01:01:39What if I told you about Mommy's crafting room?
01:01:45Sorry to do this, but standards must be upheld.
01:01:48Parker, someday you'll understand.
01:01:50And Wednesday...
01:01:51Well, anyway, Parker.
01:01:56My mom has a lair and a jail?
01:01:59I knew I should have picked to live with my dad.
01:02:02You're gonna be on TV!
01:02:03Are we gonna be serious?
01:02:05Len, what do you want in the frame?
01:02:07Okay, everyone.
01:02:08Listen up.
01:02:09It's the last run-through before the finale,
01:02:11so let's try this one last time, okay?
01:02:13Okay.
01:02:13We're gonna shoot across the town square to the gazebo
01:02:16where Margot will make her grand entrance.
01:02:17So everyone will be walking this direction across the square.
01:02:22Judy, you start here.
01:02:23Ken, you're gonna follow Judy.
01:02:25You can stand right here and...
01:02:27Uh...
01:02:28Is there a bathroom nearby?
01:02:35Uh...
01:02:36Maya!
01:02:36They're here!
01:02:37What are you talking about?
01:02:39They're here!
01:02:40The Addams Family!
01:02:43Oh!
01:02:46Oh!
01:02:47Oh!
01:02:51Oh!
01:02:53Oh!
01:02:54Oh!
01:02:55Oh!
01:02:56Oh!
01:02:56Oh!
01:02:56Oh!
01:02:57What are we gonna do?
01:02:58What are we gonna do?
01:02:59What we always do, Glenn?
01:03:01Help people.
01:03:03The Addams monsters are planning to attack the town tonight!
01:03:10Exclamation point!
01:03:12Meet at Margot's house now!
01:03:15Oh!
01:03:23Salutations, Adams! We're here!
01:03:25Petunia, I love what you've done with your hair.
01:03:28Thanks! I just had a mowed.
01:03:31Please, come in. Make yourself uncomfortable.
01:03:33Uncle Onion!
01:03:35It's been so long!
01:03:37Yes, so disappointed to see you.
01:03:39You always managed to bring a dear to my eye.
01:03:43Greetings, Dr. Flambe. How are you doing?
01:03:46I'm on fire.
01:03:48Good!
01:03:48This party's gonna be lit.
01:03:50Ah! Auntie Sloon.
01:03:53Auntie Sloon, you are as radiant as a barrel of nuclear waste.
01:04:00Where is the boy?
01:04:03Poxley!
01:04:04Ah! There you are!
01:04:06Come down and say hello to your Auntie Sloon!
01:04:08Ah!
01:04:11Gomez, this tradition is not to be taken lightly.
01:04:16I trust that the boy has been properly trained.
01:04:19Yes, yes, once you see how we've...
01:04:21It's bad enough.
01:04:22This mazurka is taking place in New Jersey.
01:04:25Now wear the drake!
01:04:27I'm thirsty.
01:04:29You've seen them?
01:04:30You've heard the stories on neighborhood meets.
01:04:33Both atoms aren't evil.
01:04:36They're monsters.
01:04:38And now there's an infestation of them.
01:04:41They're here to destroy our beautiful community and turn it into a place that no design intervention can save.
01:04:49Atoms are spotted here.
01:04:51They're monsters.
01:04:52They're all monsters.
01:04:53We need to destroy them first.
01:04:56Vote with me.
01:04:58Oh, yeah.
01:04:58We'll be revealing assimilation at all of you to our audience in just an hour.
01:05:02Our last chance to help these people is now.
01:05:06Bill, John, do you still have that lovely catapult?
01:05:09Yes, we do!
01:05:11Are you sure about this?
01:05:12We can't let them rule our neighborhood!
01:05:15Let's do it!
01:05:16I want them now!
01:05:19No one torments my family but me.
01:05:22Hair clip, please.
01:05:24Okay.
01:05:35Cage School 101.
01:05:38You better be ready or enter soon.
01:05:41We'll have you see her.
01:05:41You looks very friendly.
01:05:42The kid's got some big shoes to feel.
01:05:44I certainly hope the bye's ready.
01:05:46I know I'm not going to see her.
01:05:48I know I'm not going to see her.
01:05:58End up!
01:06:01Stay out of your plan!
01:06:09Slu!
01:06:10Sister!
01:06:11Darling, I know the last time we saw each other we had a horrible fight.
01:06:16And I just wanted to tell you, from the bottom of my heart, I won that fight!
01:06:20And I was glad I cheated!
01:06:22You won?
01:06:23Still a sore loser, as always!
01:06:26I want a rematch, right here, right now!
01:06:29Auntie Slu, can I get you anything?
01:06:31When's the mazurka?
01:06:33Soon.
01:06:33Soon.
01:06:34Our daughter Wednesday isn't here yet.
01:06:36If your daughter can't be on time, then we will begin without her!
01:06:42Very well, Auntie Slu.
01:06:48Attention, please!
01:06:50Attention!
01:06:53The hour!
01:06:54It's upon us!
01:06:57Places!
01:07:11We gather today to witness my son, Pugsley Adams, perform his sabermazurka!
01:07:42We will begin with a reading from the Terror, which commemorates our cries in battle!
01:07:55Happy milhões for her to be friends!
01:07:56We go!
01:07:57Ha Ha Ha!
01:08:11And now, the transition into manhood!
01:08:16We go!
01:08:18Ha Ha Ha!
01:08:21We go!
01:08:22Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!
01:08:23We go!
01:08:34And now the shaver mission.
01:08:44Hold still.
01:08:47The Adam's mustache.
01:08:50Now you're ready.
01:08:55Let's go.
01:09:27Let's go.
01:09:54Let's go.
01:10:02Poxley.
01:10:06I give up.
01:10:07I can't do it, Pop.
01:10:15I'm sorry.
01:10:17I let you down.
01:10:19You haven't let me down, Poxley.
01:10:23I let you down.
01:10:25I was so focused on doing things the traditional way.
01:10:28I forgot to let you be who you are.
01:10:35Hey!
01:10:36Are you ready for your Margo makeover now?
01:10:40It's Margo.
01:10:41She must have turned the whole town into stock-raving lunatics.
01:10:44Well, I have to admit, I admire her wolf.
01:10:47Let's do this, then!
01:10:48It's locked and looted, Margo.
01:10:50I've never got a fool at all.
01:10:53Fire!
01:11:00Get out!
01:11:09Poxley!
01:11:10What is the true meaning of the Masulka?
01:11:13It's about protecting our family from those who would do us harm.
01:11:18Go ahead.
01:11:19Show them what you're good at.
01:11:26All we have to do is pull down the sidewalls!
01:11:41Everyone, follow my boy!
01:11:49Hey, guys!
01:12:14Hey, guys!
01:12:25Fire!
01:12:29Chaka-laka-bang, baby!
01:12:39Quick!
01:12:40Out this way!
01:12:45Fuck!
01:12:46A lot of ammo!
01:12:49You're trapped!
01:13:12I hope I'm not crashing the party.
01:13:15I'm staying!
01:13:17Ichabod, quick! Lower your branches!
01:13:21Everyone, grab on!
01:13:23Fuck you!
01:13:24Fuck you!
01:13:33Fuck you!
01:13:39Fuck you!
01:13:51Fuck you!
01:13:55Fire in the hole!
01:13:58Messerker!
01:14:03Is everyone all right?
01:14:04No limbs missing that weren't missing before you arrived?
01:14:13My little raven.
01:14:15I'm so happy you returned.
01:14:17Of course I came back.
01:14:19I knew there was no way you were going to save yourselves.
01:14:21You were like weak baby squirrels.
01:14:37Socrates.
01:14:40Eight legs, nine legs.
01:14:45You were right, Caramir.
01:14:48People can be cruel.
01:14:51What have we done?
01:14:52They're just...
01:14:54a family.
01:14:55A family?
01:14:56Please, they're a bunch of monsters!
01:14:58Don't go soft on me, people!
01:15:01I will relish hounding you until that nuclear waste dump of a house has gone and your mutant family along
01:15:07with it!
01:15:08Be careful what you wish for, Miss Needler.
01:15:11My family and I will never run from the likes of you again.
01:15:19I have... deep breath, Margo.
01:15:23Okay, I have a finale to shoot.
01:15:24Parker, let's go.
01:15:26I'm not going anywhere with you.
01:15:28I'm staying with my friend.
01:15:30Your friend?!
01:15:31Parker, these people are freaks!
01:15:33If they're freaks, then I'm a freak.
01:15:35And... so are all of you.
01:15:37Exhibit A.
01:15:38Miss Gravely, you put your underwear in the freezer.
01:15:41Hey, it's refreshing, okay?
01:15:44Exhibit B.
01:15:44Trudy Pickering.
01:15:46You sit on the toilet backwards.
01:15:48Well, where else am I supposed to put my arms?
01:15:51Wait, how did you know that?
01:15:53Because your houses have been infested with Needler Vision.
01:15:57She has hidden cameras everywhere.
01:16:00And watches you all of the time.
01:16:03In a private town?
01:16:05Who else has she seen?
01:16:06That is over the line!
01:16:08Shut up!
01:16:09Listen, you lemmings!
01:16:11This is my town!
01:16:12You are nothing but a bunch of extras!
01:16:15We are going to march down that hill and do a live show!
01:16:19I expect you to convince those brainless peons out there in the audience
01:16:23that this is the perfect place to buy a house!
01:16:26Or none of you will be living here much longer!
01:16:28Do you hear me?!
01:16:29Actually, Mom, everyone can hear you.
01:16:32You've been live this whole time.
01:16:34Three million people are watching you right now.
01:16:37The real you, for a change.
01:16:39Please!
01:16:40What do I care what a bunch of bloggers think?
01:16:42Margo!
01:16:43What?!
01:16:44It's the network.
01:16:46They're taking your show off the air.
01:16:48What?!
01:16:49No!
01:16:50I'll be bankrupt!
01:16:51Who will buy all these houses?!
01:16:53Okay, watch this.
01:16:54Now's my chance.
01:16:56Excuse me!
01:16:58I just tooted.
01:16:59Furthermore, I think I can help you get rid of those houses!
01:17:03What are you talking about?
01:17:04Well, my dear, you've got a bunch of houses you need to get rid of,
01:17:08and I've got a bunch of family I need to get rid of!
01:17:11Hello?
01:17:13Excuse me.
01:17:14I'm Trudy.
01:17:16Trudy Pickering.
01:17:17We never officially met.
01:17:20Ah, yes.
01:17:21The toilet woman.
01:17:22Right.
01:17:24Listen, please, give us a chance to make it right.
01:17:28Let us have our own design intervention.
01:17:33Mother, I spent time with these people.
01:17:36And it is true, they are odd.
01:17:40But we shouldn't judge them just because they're different.
01:18:06Have a wonderful day.
01:18:08Woo-hoo!
01:18:09Thanks!
01:18:10Bye!
01:18:16Well, hello there!
01:18:18Howdy, neighbor!
01:18:19How's the new house?
01:18:21Oh, I love it.
01:18:22I hope you brought your umbrellas.
01:18:24Oh, you put in a typhoon!
01:18:26What a great idea!
01:18:28Don't forget the gift basket, silly.
01:18:30Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:18:31We got scented embalming fluid.
01:18:34Toads, teeth, a fruitcake, rat bait, got some dried apricots.
01:18:41He's like training a puppy.
01:18:42Adorable but tiresome.
01:18:44She's the woman of my dreams.
01:18:46Her breath is like a baby's diaper.
01:18:48Oh, faster! Stop!
01:18:51Who would have thought a guy like me, a total zero,
01:18:54would have ended up with you, and also zero.
01:18:57Well, do come in.
01:19:02Now, with the house rebuilt, Pugsley,
01:19:06we can throw you the celebration you deserve.
01:19:10You are animals, through and through.
01:19:37Oh, how lucky. The spirit's home.
01:19:40Finally, back to Nuri.
01:19:43Oh, how lucky. The spirit's home.
01:19:49We did good.
01:19:51I won't tell anyone if you don't.
01:19:55In the universe, the healers.
01:20:13They're creepy and they're kooky, mysterious and spooky.
01:20:18They're all together kooky, the Addis family.
01:20:22Their house is a museum, where people come to see them.
01:20:26They really are a scream, the Addis family.
01:20:31Neat.
01:20:33Sweet.
01:20:37Petite.
01:20:38So get a witch's shawl on, a broomstick you can crawl on.
01:20:42We're gonna pay and call on, the Addis family.
01:20:48Family, family, family.
01:20:50I go to war with my family.
01:20:52Ups and downs, wrong or right, this family.
01:20:55They think that we crazy, they say that we crazy, can't handle it.
01:20:59My back on the wall, who am I calling my family?
01:21:02We different, we stick out, wig out, wig out, bug out, pop out, hop out, ball out, show out.
01:21:09Aight, just a party, let's not make a problem.
01:21:13Why you looking at me like you're something silly?
01:21:16You should know it's not just me that you be rubbing.
01:21:20The wrong way so you better think twice.
01:21:23You shouldn't mess with me, you don't want to mess with me, cause if you mess with me, you're messing
01:21:29with my family.
01:21:30You shouldn't mess with me
01:21:32You don't wanna mess with me
01:21:34Cause if you mess with me
01:21:35You're messing with my family
01:21:37Ay, ay, ay, ay
01:21:40You might think that we are on the call
01:21:45Ay, ay, ay
01:21:47But this family back to the global
01:21:50We fly
01:21:51Yeah, yeah, yeah
01:21:57En mi familia ese problema no jugamos
01:22:00Y si hay party, esta mañana celebramos
01:22:04Si te dicen que estamos locos, locos estamos
01:22:07Y en las buenas y en las malas nos quedamos
01:22:11No traicionamos
01:22:13Ay, this is a party, let's not make a problem
01:22:16Why you looking at me like a mountainside
01:22:20You should know it's not just me that you'll be rubbing
01:22:23Long way so you better think twice
01:22:27You shouldn't mess with me
01:22:29You don't wanna mess with me
01:22:30Cause if you mess with me
01:22:32You're messing with my family
01:22:34You shouldn't mess with me
01:22:36You don't wanna mess with me
01:22:37Cause if you mess with me
01:22:39You're messing with my family
01:22:41Ay, ay, ay
01:22:46You're messing with my family
01:22:48La familia
01:22:53Don't mess with my family
01:22:55Aye, aye, aye, aye
01:22:58It might think that we are all local
01:23:02Aye, aye, aye
01:23:05But his family about to go global
01:23:09They say that we mean
01:23:10They say that we rule
01:23:12They say we got problems
01:23:14But we say it's cool
01:23:16My family, family
01:23:18I go to war with my family
01:23:19Up and down
01:23:21Wrong or right, that's family
01:23:23Aye, aye, aye, aye
01:23:26It might think that we are all local
01:23:30Aye, aye, aye
01:23:33But his family about to go global
01:23:45There's no well when you fall for me
01:23:50You'll be falling for miles
01:23:54I'll be wished by your misery
01:23:58But I love it when you smile
01:24:02Let me know what you want from me
01:24:07Whisper you in my ears
01:24:10Before you try to get your hooks in me
01:24:15I should warn you, my dear
01:24:18My heart is a haunted house
01:24:22Once you're in, you ain't getting out
01:24:26It's the trap you've been waiting for
01:24:31Ain't no windows, ain't no doors
01:24:34No escape in the way you feel
01:24:39It's like a dream
01:24:40But you hope it's real
01:24:42My, my, my, my heart
01:24:46My, my, my heart
01:24:48Is a haunted
01:24:50Haunted house
01:24:57Watch your step when you walk to me
01:25:01Careful where your heart trades
01:25:06Suddenly you'll be in too deep
01:25:10You'll be caught up in my way
01:25:14You will think of me constantly
01:25:18It will drive you insane
01:25:22Like the tattoo you can't remove
01:25:26Like the blood in your veins
01:25:31My heart is a haunted house
01:25:34Once you're in, you ain't getting out
01:25:38It's the trap you've been waiting for
01:25:42Ain't no windows, ain't no doors
01:25:46No escape in the way you feel
01:25:51It's like a dream
01:25:52But you hope it's real
01:25:54My, my, my, my heart
01:25:58My, my, my, my heart
01:26:00Is a haunted house
01:26:04Yeah
01:26:10It's a haunted house
01:26:12No escape ur
01:26:14You know
01:26:17It's a haunted house
01:26:19nicht sosrezept
01:26:21No escape ur
01:26:23No escape ur
01:26:23No escape ur
01:26:23No escape u
01:26:24No escape ur
01:26:26No escape urано
01:26:40Yeah
01:26:41Um
01:26:42.
01:27:12.
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