- 10 hours ago
What happens when an irritant gets irritated? Beeeeeeeef
Chris Paul and Jose Alvarado’s paths crossed in 2022 and it was like two mosquitos bumping into each other in the woods, their wings instantly getting tangled so they just buzz harder, jabbing their face-needles at each other– all while someone with type 0 blood (mosquito’s favorite) sits tantalizingly close.
That was a fun extended metaphor to write, lemme unpack it. Paul and Alvarado are both irritating players who flop and buzz around defenders' faces like mosquitos.
They met each other in the woods that was the 2022 Western Conference opening round.
The person with type 0 blood is the Larry O'Brien trophy. But that’s self explanatory, you probably already got that.
Written and produced by: Clara Morris
Directed and edited by: Jiazhen Zhang
Chris Paul and Jose Alvarado’s paths crossed in 2022 and it was like two mosquitos bumping into each other in the woods, their wings instantly getting tangled so they just buzz harder, jabbing their face-needles at each other– all while someone with type 0 blood (mosquito’s favorite) sits tantalizingly close.
That was a fun extended metaphor to write, lemme unpack it. Paul and Alvarado are both irritating players who flop and buzz around defenders' faces like mosquitos.
They met each other in the woods that was the 2022 Western Conference opening round.
The person with type 0 blood is the Larry O'Brien trophy. But that’s self explanatory, you probably already got that.
Written and produced by: Clara Morris
Directed and edited by: Jiazhen Zhang
Category
🥇
SportsTranscript
00:00In the 2022 playoffs, future Hall of Famer and known irritant, Chris Paul, faced off against reserve point guard and
00:07less known irritant, Jose Alvarado.
00:09And Paul soon found that his own medicine tasted like beef.
00:19Jose Alvarado is very similar to Chris Paul.
00:22I mean, yes, there is that one big difference that Chris Paul is a superstar and Jose Alvarado is a
00:28backup who went undrafted.
00:30But OK, now that that disparity in talent has been addressed, let's move on to their similarities.
00:35They're both listed at six foot, yet managed to survive and even thrive, yes, yes, on a sliding scale, among
00:43giants.
00:43They're both unflinchingly competitive.
00:46They're both hustle, effort players.
00:49And they're also, well, let's just say they've both been compared to Patrick Beverley.
00:55Look, they're both kind of annoying is what I'm getting at.
01:00Starting with Chris Paul.
01:01He hit opponents in the groin.
01:04He told a ref when an opponent's shirt was untucked.
01:08He liked to act, which we know from his state farm commercials, but also from his on-court performances.
01:16And he played pestering, suffocating, in-your-face-all-the-time defense.
01:21It's those last two examples that we see in Jose Alvarado.
01:25He also flops.
01:26And he also plays pestering, aggressive, get-away-from-me-D.
01:32Now, there is a positive to that style of defense.
01:35Both guys rack up steals.
01:37Chris Paul led the NBA in steals six times, which is a record for steal titles.
01:41And he's second to John Stockton for all-time total steals.
01:45Alvarado isn't going to be near CP's name on those lists, but consider this.
01:49In his rookie year, he finished fourth in total steals among rookies.
01:53And he did that without playing that many minutes.
01:57Both guys get their steals and interceptions in a similar way.
02:01Sort of baiting the offense, lulling them into a false sense of security, and springing into action out of nowhere.
02:08Jose loves to do it in the backcourt, hiding in the corner and then pouncing on the unsuspecting ball handler.
02:13But it's annoying, it's effective, and it's become his signature move, nicknamed the Grand Theft Alvarado.
02:20Paul does it all over the place, you're safe nowhere.
02:23And these two irritating guys met in a playoff series that was supposed to be one-sided.
02:29The 2022 Western opening round.
02:32Paul was on the number one seeded Suns, coming off a finals appearance the previous season and a franchise record
02:3864 wins that season.
02:41Alvarado was on the eighth-seeded Pelicans, who started off with a record of 1-12.
02:49These playoffs held a lot of importance to Paul because this Suns team was regarded as perhaps his best and
02:55last chance to win a ring.
02:57They were a very, very good team, and he was 36 years old.
03:04So, let's get through this dumb first round and on to fulfilling the destiny that's been out of reach Paul's
03:09whole career.
03:10Huh.
03:11With a Game 4 win, the Pelicans tied the series 2-2.
03:16This round might not be such a cakewalk after all.
03:19Devin Booker got hurt, and that was the main reason for the tied series.
03:23But not for nothing, the Pelicans also played well.
03:26They out-rebounded the Suns, plain and simple.
03:29It didn't always lead to a win, but it certainly did sometimes.
03:33And the Pels' first-year coach, Willie Green, was a top assistant with the Suns the previous season.
03:39Meaning he knew his opponent well enough to know how to mess him up a little.
03:43For example, he put Jose Alvarado on Paul for brief stretches to fluster the point got.
03:48Which, to be fair, didn't seem like it was going to work at first.
03:52In Game 2, when Jose tried his Grand Theft Alvarado move,
03:57Paul waved him off as you would a fly buzzing around your drink in summertime.
04:03Humiliating, humbling, in the category of worst things that can happen to you during a basketball game.
04:09But, uh, flies are resilient.
04:12Game 4, when Alvarado was on the court, he was buzzing up in Chris Paul's face,
04:17whether or not Paul had the ball.
04:20And it was effective.
04:21Paul did not look like himself in Game 4.
04:24He had no breathing room, he couldn't think, he couldn't score, he couldn't even draw fouls.
04:30He lost his cool a little.
04:32He got chippy.
04:33Pretty sure those are sarcastic pats of encouragement.
04:36The irritant had become the irritated.
04:40And, in contrast, Jose was cool, calm, and not thrown off his game at all.
04:44With under 9 minutes left, New Orleans up 6, he put pressure on Paul, nearly got the steal,
04:50and did get an 8-second violation on a superstar.
04:54It's a violation on Paul!
04:56Which the crowd absolutely loved.
04:59It was a huge momentum boost at a critical moment.
05:01And then, under 3 minutes left, Pell's up 107-91.
05:07Grand Theft Alvarado!
05:11How embarrassing for Chris Paul.
05:13Insult to injury of his terrible performance.
05:16An undrafted rookie showed him up.
05:19Completing the Grand Theft Alvarado reversed the humiliation of Game 2.
05:23Now Paul looked cocky and foolish for waving him off.
05:27It was such a triumph for Jose and the Pells and their fans and anyone who had ever considered
05:33themselves an underdog, or maybe I'm just desperate to feel good.
05:36It was a big moment.
05:38Alvarado had Chris Paul on his list of dream people to Grand Thieve.
05:42His own teammate had told him,
05:44It was too big a dream.
05:45Never gonna happen.
05:47But here he was.
05:48Game 1.
05:49Series tied.
05:51And Jose's Wikipedia page edited to say he was Chris Paul's father.
05:55It was a big moment.
05:58This series was supposed to be a brief stop on Chris' long-awaited trip to Titletown.
06:03And instead, his season was in jeopardy and he was being made fun of online.
06:08Alvarado was respectful after the game, but he wasn't deferential.
06:13He doesn't run from smoke.
06:15And he gloated a little bit.
06:17Can you blame him?
06:18Sure can, said Suns fans.
06:20How much did Suns fans resent Alvarado?
06:23Well, in Game 5, they booed every time he touched the ball.
06:27For an undrafted rookie reserve, that had to be kind of surreal.
06:32How much did Paul resent Alvarado?
06:35Well, in Game 5, he kicked him in the groin.
06:38There were reasons to believe it was on purpose.
06:41Paul had a history of doing that sort of thing.
06:44Notable groin kicker Draymond Green tweeted he'd been ejected for less.
06:48And the league reviewed it and retroactively assessed Paul a flagrant.
06:52But Alvarado wasn't thrown off his game.
06:55He even pestered the point god into another 8-second violation,
06:59fighting dirty play with effort defense.
07:02That's gonna win you some fans.
07:04Cherry on top, Paul got teed up arguing the violation.
07:08Alvarado was the folk hero.
07:10Paul, the folk villain.
07:12In Game 6, Paul set a blindside backcourt pick on Alvarado.
07:16But Paul actually got called for the offensive foul here.
07:20Perhaps because Alvarado sold it well.
07:24In other words, perhaps because he Chris-pauled Chris-paul.
07:28And he was applauded for it.
07:31I imagine Paul's blood was boiling, and there's some evidence to that theory,
07:35because at the end of the game, he threw an elbow at Alvarado,
07:38which chipped the kid's tooth.
07:39But Alvarado even got called for the foul on this play.
07:42Bet Chris-paul liked that.
07:44Paul had a lot of fun in Game 6 all around,
07:47closing out the series with an absolutely incredible performance.
07:51Their talent disparity was the last line of this series.
07:55But the footnote is that the formerly unknown Jose Alvarado got under Paul's skin.
08:01At the post-game presser, Alvarado said,
08:03yeah, he's not on Chris-paul's level, and he's not pretending to be.
08:07But he's not nobody either.
08:09Chris-paul knows his name now.
08:12Then at his post-game interview, Paul mispronounced Alvarado's name.
08:16Was it on purpose?
08:21Alvarado.
08:22The internet certainly thought so.
08:24And it's not like Paul was over the beef.
08:27Winning the series was apparently not enough of a statement.
08:30I'll explain.
08:31December the following season, the Pels and Sons were set to play.
08:34But first of all, Jose was listed as questionable,
08:37but there was no question in his mind, if Chris-paul was playing, he was playing.
08:41So the stage was set for the beef to continue.
08:44In the actual game, both Paul and Alvarado played pretty well.
08:48But since Zion Williamson was healthy, the Pels were handling the Sons.
08:53With 18 seconds left and a seven-point lead, Larry Nance Jr. dunked, which was a little rude.
08:59With one second left and a nine-point lead, Zion did a 360 windmill dunk,
09:04which was considered more than a little rude.
09:07Perhaps the beef had been distributed to the whole Pelicans team.
09:10And as Zion spun through the air, Chris-paul let Jose Alvarado know he, too, still tasted beef.
09:17We've seen that elbow before.
09:19And then we got a team-wide scuffle.
09:22A few months later, Alvarado talked about Paul on J.J. Reddick's Old Man and the Three podcast.
09:27He basically said he's not a fan of CP3 on the court.
09:31Keeping it on the court is a pretty generous move after someone kicked you in the groin,
09:36chipped your tooth, and then tried to elbow your face again eight months later.
09:41Alvarado also said that Phoenix is his nemesis fanbase.
09:45And that's who kind of picked up this beef when Chris Paul set it aside and left town
09:49to focus on the increasingly rushed quest to get a ring.
09:53Fans still boo Alvarado in the desert, and tempers run high on the court, too.
09:59In 2025, Alvarado fought Sun's center Mark Williams, who is 7'1".
10:06Alvarado does not run from smoke.
10:07My God, what are you doing?
10:09Get away from that giant.
10:10Run, run, run.
10:11For Alvarado, the Chris Paul beef was huge.
10:14It helped make his career.
10:16Well, I guess the beef didn't make his career,
10:20but rather his ability to create beef with Paul through his play on the court made his career.
10:26After that series, Chris Paul knew his name, as did the rest of us.
10:31For CP3, this beef happened.
10:33It was embarrassing, but it isn't sticking to him.
10:37There are a lot of footnotes to his career, and Jose Alvarado is a small one.
10:43Paul's still a future Hall of Famer.
10:45That's going to overshadow a lot.
10:47But for a moment in time, Chris Paul got his buttons pushed in a way that he himself liked to
10:53repeatedly jab buttons.
10:55He got a taste of his own medicine, and he spat it out while swinging his elbows and kicking his
11:00legs toward Alvarado's groin.
11:02The undrafted player made the superstar look foolish.
11:07For an underdog, does it get any better than that?
11:14For a moment in time, Chris Paul has said he chose his career.
11:15He put his hands on the ground for the quarterback, and he knows what he sounded like.
Comments