- 2 weeks ago
Falling - Season 1 Episode 5
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:07THE END
00:19Ah, you're awake already.
00:23I smuggled an alarm clock in.
00:25We come as a pair now.
00:27Poor Agnes is saddled with me.
00:30I enjoy it.
00:32Your dear's been back.
00:34Oh, is that right?
00:36You see the horse chestnut tree?
00:38There are leaves missing at the bottom of it.
00:42Then let's sit here all day.
00:45Wait until it comes back to us.
00:48Wouldn't that be nice?
00:57I'm going to get a moment.
00:59I'm sorry.
01:00I'm going to get a bath.
01:19I'm in.
01:20I'm in.
01:21I'm in.
01:32I'm in.
01:33I'm in.
01:36I'm in.
01:49I'm oh, god.
01:51The Lord's friendship is for those who revere him, and to them he reveals his covenant.
02:04Amen.
02:34Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been 48 hours since my last confession.
02:41How can I help?
02:42Well, I have committed four acts of blasphemy and five, no, six of self-abasement.
02:51Seven, maybe, actually.
02:54You've had a busy time.
02:56She just talks at me, day after day.
02:59Oh, Brian's left his toenails all over the floor again.
03:03Brian's making a mess in the bathroom.
03:06I'd love for my Alan to be making any of those messes.
03:09But she doesn't even...
03:12I find myself getting so frustrated with her.
03:17I don't see how you can take any wrong from finding your sister difficult.
03:21It's just when I kill her that I'll be in trouble.
03:24Yeah, that I believe is frowned upon.
03:28She's stronger every day, and she's using this new energy to buzz around me.
03:36It's good.
03:38I asked her along to these classes they do at the GP as a sort of partner, and she is
03:46taking it way too seriously.
03:48She keeps getting me to practice this breathing stuff.
03:54And you?
03:56Are you okay?
04:01A confessional's definitely not supposed to be about my feelings.
04:09Dad said that you'd visited him.
04:11He didn't say it in a nice way.
04:13And I don't think what you said made any difference.
04:17But that was kind of you.
04:22It was a complicated discussion.
04:27What did he say to you?
04:34He sent me a challenge.
04:37Which I didn't meet.
04:41Can't say any more than that.
04:42I'm sorry.
04:44Do you think he's gonna be okay?
04:48Do you want him to be?
04:51Yes.
04:54I hope he will be.
05:04Francesca said I was allowed to make it mine.
05:08We had the opportunity to replant as we harvested, so...
05:12So you made some changes in what you planted and where you planted it.
05:18Quite bold, wouldn't you say?
05:21No.
05:21And I wasn't even half out the door.
05:29Don't!
05:30Don't, even as a joke.
05:32Come on, show me the worst of it.
05:36I'm planning on scallions in half the cabbage patch.
05:40The other half will still have cabbages in.
05:42Well, I like scallions.
05:44And to be honest, no one likes cabbages as much as me.
05:47So that's a good idea.
05:49And maybe more raspberries and strawberries in your polytunum.
05:54Scannalous.
05:55I made a raspberry and rhubarb jam that people seem to like.
05:58Yes, I tried it at breakfast.
06:00It was delicious.
06:06Was it me that made you go?
06:10Sorry?
06:11Was it how I behaved?
06:13Were you disappointed?
06:14Or was it how the Abbas treated me?
06:15Were you disappointed in her?
06:16No.
06:17No.
06:18No, it wasn't you.
06:20Never you.
06:22It wasn't her either.
06:23Although she did annoy me.
06:30Things are much better for me now.
06:32With her.
06:32The Abbas is she likes you now.
06:36Wouldn't go that far.
06:39It was a man who made me go.
06:43The handsome priest.
06:45Did everyone know?
06:46I saw you talking once.
06:48He was as into you as you him.
06:50You're wrong there.
06:52I was ridiculous.
06:55I don't think so.
06:57I was always good at spotting it.
06:58It was my skill at school for some reason.
07:01Maybe because I wasn't into boys I could read them.
07:04I'd tell the girls who'd fancied who.
07:06It was always very useful knowledge.
07:08Must have been hugely popular.
07:10I was a mad Christian Dyke witch.
07:13What a combination.
07:20I was worried everyone was laughing at me.
07:26The lusty nun.
07:29What a thing to be.
07:34You don't know how much you'll love, do you?
07:37No one's laughing.
07:39No one has laughed.
07:42They're just...
07:43They're delighted to have you back with us.
07:47You are Anna.
07:51You belong to us.
08:17Can we talk?
08:20Yeah, I hope to be good.
08:24Awkward to air dirty pants in front of other people.
08:28I hope I'm not wearing dirty pants.
08:30Ah.
08:31I've got that phrase wrong.
08:33Doing laundry?
08:34Yes.
08:35Well it's the same thing I suppose.
08:37Yeah.
08:40You do know that she's returned home?
08:42Anna?
08:45I...
08:45Yeah.
08:47Well yeah, so that just leaves you now, doesn't it?
08:53I don't know what to do with you.
08:57What are your options?
08:59Well there are those who truly believe in you.
09:03You tried to get rid of me and got blocked.
09:06And there are others who think that you're damaged
09:08and that you might cause damage.
09:11And I wasn't blocked.
09:12I consulted.
09:14You know there's some priests, they...
09:16They come back stronger for having been broken.
09:19And that is why I was prepared to bring you here.
09:22Hm.
09:23But the question is, what led to the break?
09:27People, they use words like last and love.
09:31But it is never that.
09:35Vows are not discarded for such things.
09:39Vows are discarded because of something here being unresolved up here.
09:49Is this your normal tactic in your counselling?
09:53That's a surprising amount of anger in your words.
09:58You know...
10:01You are unusual.
10:03Amongst the young priest-owned priestly finding that it's all about the liturgy.
10:08And the social worker priest is rare.
10:11What do you think a priest should do?
10:14Bring people to God so that all may bathe in his light.
10:23Not play God.
10:25Without a thought to the consequences.
10:28Does that make me a conservative?
10:31Or does that make me careful with the needs of others?
10:37When we overstep, we risk.
10:39Them. It's inappropriate.
10:42It's wrong.
10:43What if help is what they need?
10:45Or do we let them ask for help?
10:49Or do we tell them that they need it?
10:55David, you're so reckless.
11:00We should go in.
11:17In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.
11:21Thank you all for coming.
11:23I do so like these meetings.
11:25It is a chance for us to affirm our success and express doubts about our failures.
11:33Now, I hope you've all been sent the agenda.
11:36Let's start with the building fund.
11:38We've had a good quarter, so donations are high, which has allowed us...
11:46I don't even know what she said.
11:50I just found myself.
11:55And so...
11:56I jumped.
11:59Out of the window.
12:00I jumped in the throne.
12:02I can snort the boos on you now.
12:04Do we let them ask for help?
12:07It's inappropriate.
12:09Are you helping here?
12:11Play God.
12:12Without a thought to the consequences.
12:15You are weak.
12:16Bring people to God.
12:20You might cause damage.
12:24David, you're so reckless.
12:28David, you're so reckless.
12:48Okay.
12:51It works.
12:53Trust me.
12:56Okay.
13:00You gave us all the fright.
13:05Just a stomach bug.
13:08Want to talk about it?
13:11Do you want me to call your sponsor?
13:13I don't have a sponsor.
13:15I've just come to the meetings.
13:17Not to judge.
13:19But those I know who don't have a sponsor are usually trying to avoid something.
13:24They're usually being a bit dishonest with themselves.
13:28You're close.
13:31This is so clean, but do you mind if I go?
13:34I'd rather you didn't.
13:37I'm the same.
14:08What's happening?
14:10It's Polly.
14:11She's struggling to breathe.
14:37get to eat.
14:43Oh.
14:44Very close.
14:45Then it's somebodyatson.
14:49Who wants anything to be?
14:53Be careful.
14:54Take care.
14:56Oh, hello.
14:58What are you doing here?
15:00Well, I didn't want to go up there.
15:01I assumed you already had enough attention on you.
15:05What, so you thought you'd just hang around on the off chance?
15:07Well, it's a regular haunt, is it not?
15:10Well, I've got some deliveries to do.
15:13You could help me.
15:21You've started smoking again.
15:23Don't tell your dad.
15:27I couldn't stop thinking about what I said to you.
15:30Which bit?
15:31The cruelty stuff or the other stuff?
15:34Or was there any other stuff?
15:38I met a boy when I was 15.
15:41Poorly dressed.
15:42Terrible moustache.
15:44He used to walk me home from school.
15:45I was at this terrible girls' school.
15:47You told me about the girls' school.
15:49Not about this boy.
15:51He didn't talk much.
15:53He'd just mooch along beside me.
15:55I'd always be embarrassed whenever he got near my house
15:58because my mother would watch out of the window.
16:01She liked to interfere, my mother.
16:03Hmm.
16:04Sounds familiar.
16:06Yes.
16:07But my point is, I knew he wasn't very impressive.
16:12He had good eyes.
16:14His shoulders were always hunched.
16:16He didn't know what to do with his hair.
16:18And he had an acne problem.
16:21But his being, his insides, were quite special.
16:28As was the fact that he was absolutely certain of what he felt about me.
16:35Didn't care if people laughed at him.
16:39Just...
16:39Was as he was.
16:41Anyway, one day my dad exploded at him.
16:45Nothing violent, but the things he said.
16:47He tore him apart.
16:49How he looked, how he spoke, what he was going to be.
16:53I can still remember most of the words.
16:55It was the worst thing that ever happened to me.
16:58Certainly the worst thing that ever happened to him.
17:00Was he okay?
17:01What happened to him?
17:03Well, I married him, of course.
17:05Spent my life with him.
17:07But it was Dad.
17:08Well, I didn't mean it to be a surprise.
17:14I know I've not always been the happiest mother.
17:19Wife.
17:21I have had...
17:23have...
17:25an unhappiness of my own
17:26that I brought with me into the relationship
17:29that being with you, with Chris, hasn't resolved.
17:33But he has...
17:37When I imagine my life
17:38without him,
17:40I see only
17:43turgid
17:44blood.
17:46But why haven't either of you ever mentioned this to me before?
17:50The Dad would follow you home.
17:54I was lucky.
17:55I met him when I was 15.
17:56I think I was on the verge of many mistakes.
18:02My home
18:04wasn't...
18:04I think I'd have been unhappy.
18:06Unhappier.
18:08Don't know how he feels about that.
18:11Of course.
18:12Rougher end of the bargain.
18:16Well, I wasn't supposed to make you cry.
18:19Fucking hell.
18:20Whatever I say makes you cry.
18:22So now you're telling me that I should believe in love.
18:25I'm telling you you're your father's daughter.
18:28That when you know, you know.
18:30When you love, you love.
18:33I'm saying sorry.
18:36When you joined up, became sister Anna, you ripped my heart out.
18:42And then suddenly you're on the other side and it's supposed to be okay.
18:46I was confused.
18:50I was confused.
18:51But I do believe if love is what you need, then...
18:56I, er...
18:59I stopped him.
19:01Mum, I stopped him from kissing me.
19:05Oh?
19:06Why?
19:08Because he wasn't ready.
19:10Because he's a priest.
19:12Because I was bloody stupid.
19:15So let me understand.
19:17You were ready to burn your life.
19:20And he wasn't.
19:21And then he was and you turned him away.
19:24Yes, exactly.
19:25But he kissed you.
19:27It was a mistake.
19:28So you ran away back here.
19:31Interesting.
19:32First time I've known you a coward.
19:35Oh.
19:39I came here to be nice.
19:42I can't do nice.
19:45I'm sorry.
19:47I do love you.
19:58What have you done this time, David?
20:01This is serious and worrying behavior.
20:06This could be a police matter.
20:09David hit a boy in the throat.
20:12There's a dinner tray.
20:13I wasn't trying to.
20:15Dave, he asked you to be quiet.
20:17I was trying to get away from him.
20:18Are you helping here?
20:19David is a dangerously disruptive presence here.
20:27Forgive me, Father, for where I have sinned.
20:32Are those the right words?
20:35They always told me I didn't have to come here, but...
20:39You're just interested in how it works.
20:44Or have you something you want to talk to me about?
20:49I'm not sure.
20:50Well, the way this works is you tell me what's troubling you.
20:56I listen.
20:58And then I give you a prayer or something to perform.
21:03So whatever mistakes you've made, and we all make mistakes,
21:12God can set you on a journey of correction.
21:18I hate them.
21:20Who do you hate?
21:23Everyone.
21:24I don't like anyone.
21:25I hate them all.
21:30You're...
21:32Your parents?
21:33They're not my parents.
21:36They're good people.
21:38I just hate them.
21:41It's hate or sin.
21:45Most hate is temporary.
21:47It's passion.
21:48And so it can be challenged.
21:51It can be changed.
21:53I don't understand.
21:56Everyone talks about God's love.
22:00God loves you.
22:01God loves everyone.
22:04But you know the best thing about God's love?
22:06He wants to love you.
22:09He wants you to love yourself.
22:12And to love him back.
22:14And maybe, if he can do that,
22:20maybe he can find infinite love for others.
22:25Now, wouldn't that be beautiful?
22:40I'm afraid to tell you that Sister Polly Everon died three hours ago.
22:46I am so sorry for all our loss.
22:51Polly was here longer than any of us.
22:54She found great comfort here.
22:56God here.
23:00The last thing she asked me,
23:02and she was very weak, unable to say much,
23:05was that she'd be buried in the convent.
23:09We have never had that before,
23:11but having looked into the matter,
23:13she had no other surviving family.
23:15So if not here,
23:16I'm not quite sure where else to put her.
23:22I also think
23:25I would like a trace of her left with us.
23:30I would like her to remain a part of how we live.
23:34I've spent my life here looking up to her
23:37for that and many reasons.
23:40A prayer for her.
23:45Dear Lord,
23:46we thank you for our Sister Polly.
23:51We thank you for her goodness and her grace,
23:54her certainty,
23:56and her spirit.
23:59We hope she will find a way to serve you in the next life
24:02as well as she has in this one.
24:03We loved her.
24:08Amen.
24:34See you all,
24:34you can't do it with her.
24:39You can't do it with her.
24:52Vans plan.
24:57What the whole thing you want to try.
25:00Puppet devil.
25:17Let me do it.
25:22Let me do it.
25:24Let me do it, let me do it.
25:33Yes, let me do it.
25:37Oh shit, all the time.
25:40I hate you different, everyone will matter, I see you, who you are, everyone I think matters, you know, you're
25:52a good man.
25:55but my parents are from poor...
26:02this...
26:03of how do you...
26:08so...
26:10I'm going to show my choir...
26:16and...
26:18I've been there, I've moved more...
26:22Right.
26:25Maybe you should try to...
26:29... close.
26:36Please see, I got power.
26:38There's nothing left to see.
26:51No, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
26:56I'm sorry.
26:57I'm sorry.
26:57Please see.
26:57Just up.
27:05Let's get you.
27:07I see that.
27:09That's a big...
27:11Jesus.
27:22You know what you're done?
27:25Just you, right?
27:29I...
27:29...
27:29...
27:37I don't think you are...
27:38...me.
27:40You're trying to...
27:59They who dwell at the ends of the earth
28:02stand in awe of your signs.
28:04You make the dawn and the sunset shout for joy.
28:12Psalms, chapter 65, verse 8.
28:17Very good.
28:25It wasn't a man for me.
28:27Or a woman, I should say.
28:30Modernity, etc.
28:32The absence of that was never a problem for me.
28:37But there were six months after I turned 50 when I couldn't understand the lack of devotion of those coming
28:43in.
28:46Six months.
28:47It was probably three years.
28:50You'd been with us 15 years or so by then and I looked at you and I thought...
28:55Maybe the time has come for me to take this...
28:58...all off.
29:00To let you take over.
29:02Maybe I'd like to escape away.
29:06My family have a small farm in Donegal and my brother would make me very welcome.
29:13My point is, it's such a strange gift we're given.
29:17The certainty of a marriage without all that comes with that.
29:22Polly found it effortlessly.
29:24I don't think she ever doubted her journey.
29:28But...
29:30...most...
29:31...most of us...
29:33...have moments of struggle.
29:37Is this you telling me that you'd forgive me for leaving?
29:42I still think about Donegal.
29:46As abbess, you are both my children and my sisters and...
29:51...I sometimes...
29:53...when I'm in pain as I am today, I sometimes wish I could just escape.
29:58But I don't.
30:01I stay and I try.
30:04Out there is...
30:06...no escape.
30:08I know.
30:10But you do understand, Anna, outside is hard.
30:14But this isn't a sanctuary from that.
30:18Both are work.
30:20Both have to be work.
30:36Fourth Hue.
30:39Yes, we are.
30:40We hear you.
30:40books goings.
30:42Then your dad have to be bugged מ� toutes at the fair names.
30:52Well?
31:01You have to be bugged, but it's now.
31:02You're cousins.
31:03Service on your within www.their presents.
31:05I don't want to go into the convent.
31:11You don't want to face the abbess?
31:14You hope to find Sister Anna round the back instead?
31:20It's not quite that.
31:22She's just finding her peace again.
31:24And you want to disturb it?
31:28Which one see her? Talk to her?
31:30For her own good or for yours.
31:34We love her here.
31:36She loves being here.
31:40Don't disrupt her again.
31:43She's not as strong as you think.
31:46Go home.
31:49Please.
32:00Please.
32:03Please.
32:11Please.
32:12Please.
32:13Please.
32:14It was tiny.
32:19Please.
32:19To me.
32:56Can I have a wall plug, please?
32:59A what?
33:00Wall plug.
33:01It's a white plastic thing.
33:03Looks like the head of an arrow.
33:05Yep.
33:07It doesn't look like an arrow.
33:09And yet you still knew what it meant.
33:14Is it ready?
33:17No.
33:19When will I know you haven't broken everything?
33:21Haven't you got homework?
33:22You need my help here.
33:29It's finished.
33:37It's tuna pasta.
33:39You're welcome to stay for dinner.
33:42Oh, um, I'd better get back.
33:47Good decision.
33:49It'll probably be horrible.
33:51I'm trying to sneak fish into everything and ruin everything.
33:55Most days she gives up and just eats crisps.
33:58Huh.
34:00Well, that's a well done for trying smile.
34:03Just to let you know I hate that smile.
34:06Sorry.
34:06I know that smile too.
34:12When he saw you,
34:15are you allowed to say what he asked for?
34:19Well, I think it's a good idea to share.
34:25I still think about him.
34:30Not always in a bad way.
34:35Does that make me shit?
34:37No.
34:40Well, serenity feels like a long way away.
34:44I don't know if you know,
34:45I've also had addiction issues.
34:50Yeah.
34:52Phil told me.
34:53Alcohol.
34:55Phil told me that too.
34:58I just wanted to say,
35:00if you ever do need to talk to someone,
35:03the sign of the cross bit isn't so important
35:06that I can't talk to you as a human, too.
35:09It's kind.
35:11I've got a sponsor.
35:13But that's kind.
35:15I find the meetings really useful,
35:18but the sponsors weren't ever really for me.
35:21Because the ones that want to fix
35:23don't like to be fixed.
35:25I've seen your type before.
35:28You've seen me before too, I'm sure.
35:32A few people in similar places.
35:36Did they do okay?
35:39Did they come out the other side?
35:44Mm-hmm.
35:45Yeah.
35:46They did.
35:48You want to ask about the ones like you?
35:53Ask if they sorted themselves out?
35:56Yeah.
35:59Well, one did.
36:02One did it.
36:05See, I was a lot more honest than you then, wasn't I?
36:11Sure you won't stay for dinner?
36:14Yeah.
36:18Thank you for the stare thing.
36:23I hope you make it through.
36:26Show one of the good ones.
36:30I think you're one of the good ones, too.
36:35I think we'll both make it.
37:04You're good to see, man.
37:25Almighty ever-living God,
37:27you rule both the living and the dead
37:30and are merciful to all.
37:33We humbly beseech you
37:35that those for whom we pour out our prayers
37:40may obtain pardon for their sins
37:43through your tender mercy.
37:48Amen.
37:50Amen.
38:05Do you find this place to be a sanctuary, Vinpe?
38:08I do.
38:10But you work hard at what it requires of you.
38:14Faith is hard.
38:16No, I'm, um...
38:17I'm not talking about faith.
38:18I'm talking about...
38:22If I hadn't found a way for them to let you stay,
38:25would it have been easier
38:27if they'd just thrown you out?
38:31I'm grateful you didn't let them do that.
38:33Why?
38:34Well, what...
38:36What do you find here?
38:40Belonging.
38:42And...
38:43And sometimes that peace you talked of.
38:47Peace.
38:50Belonging.
38:55Good.
39:19You knew, didn't you?
39:20The...
39:22The...
39:23Sanctuary comment was you guiding me.
39:28I am a guide.
39:32You knew I didn't fit here anymore.
39:37I did not.
39:39I just wanted you to think how this made you feel.
39:44How being here again made you feel.
39:47I want it to be a home.
39:51But it's not.
39:55I think...
39:58I feel...
39:59That staying here would be cowardice.
40:08This...
40:09This just isn't the life for me anymore.
40:13Do you know what you will do?
40:15No.
40:18Are you going to him?
40:21No.
40:24It's not about that.
40:27I'm not sure it was ever about that.
40:33I have to...
40:34I have to find...
40:37A new answer.
40:41A new peace.
40:47You are not a coward, Anna.
40:50No.
40:53I'm a...
40:55An unemployed, largely uneducated, middle-aged woman.
41:01But I do know a huge amount about the Bible.
41:07I have loved sharing your home.
41:10I have loved sharing your home.
41:12God's home.
41:15And I...
41:16And I do love God.
41:19I know.
41:24The last time I...
41:26I left in panic.
41:29But this time...
41:31But this time...
41:33This time...
41:34This time...
41:57You have felt mine.
42:04I don't know.
42:29I don't know.
43:05I don't know.
43:32I don't know.
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