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The Boulet Brothers Halfway to Halloween 2023
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00:16It's the Boulay Brothers Halfway to Halloween TV Special
00:21Starring
00:22David Dasbaljan
00:25Taryn Killam
00:27Kevin Smith
00:31Matthew Willard
00:40Rachel True
00:42Quinn Temple
00:46Garrick Mears
00:49And hold me tight and keep a-kissing Me, Sweetie
00:53Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
01:11Katya Zomalochikova, Steve Agee, Beth Dover, The Nightmare Girls, Coco Cain, Melissa B. Pierce, and Kendra Onyx, Dana DiLorenzo, John
01:33Ross Bowie, Eve Dostmultin,
01:39Sigourney Beaver,
01:53and the Queens of Darkness themselves, your hunting hosts for the evening, the Boulay Brothers.
02:05Welcome to the show, darlings, and happy halfway to Halloween.
02:12As we all know, there are so many of you little goblins and ghoulie-goos out there who just love
02:17all things Halloween and horror.
02:19But unfortunately, you've got another six months until your favorite holiday is here.
02:23And we feel it would just be cruel to make you wait all through the spring and summer just to
02:28get your fiendish fix.
02:29So, we've decided, as the newest self-appointed Sentinels of Samhain, to give you a little sustenance by creating our
02:36own holiday special that will give you a sinful serving of Halloween and horror that is guaranteed to keep you
02:42well fed until October 31st.
02:45You see, tonight, we've put a special call out to all of our fellow famous monsters to come together and
02:51join us for a sinister spectral spectacular filled with blood, gore, witches, vampires, and all things that go bump in
03:00the night for a halfway to Halloween celebration.
03:02Celebration.
03:05So, why don't you just go ahead and turn down the lights, lock your doors, and pull those covers up
03:11over your heads because...
03:12It's time for the Boulay Brothers Halfway to Halloween TV Special to begin!
03:17...
03:19...
03:34...
03:34...
03:34...
03:34...
03:46I mean, what's the deal with pitchforks?
03:48I've never seen a villager bale hay.
03:52Well, I quit my job.
03:55You quit?
03:56I quit.
03:58Get out.
03:59Why'd you do that?
04:01I can't work for that guy anymore.
04:02He's insane.
04:04Literally.
04:05What did you expect?
04:07He's a mad scientist.
04:11You know, you never see any normal scientists.
04:14They're all mad.
04:16Just once, I'd love to work for a normal scientist.
04:21You know what this means, Igor.
04:23Without a job, you're going to have to move back in with your parents.
04:29Great.
04:30I give up one mad scientist for two mad parents.
04:33Maybe it won't be so bad.
04:36Maybe one person who's more insane than my parents.
04:46Well, full moon.
04:48So?
04:49So?
04:50So what?
04:51Look at my face.
04:53It's covered with fur.
04:55I got fangs.
04:56Just don't kill anyone.
04:58This isn't going to kill anybody.
05:00You're a werewolf.
05:01It's what you do.
05:02You kill people.
05:03Oh!
05:05I can manage to not kill anybody for one full moon.
05:09You.
05:09You can't go one full hour without killing somebody.
05:13I can last longer than you.
05:16Care to make it interesting?
05:21What are you thinking?
05:24I'll bet you $100 you kill someone before me.
05:27I want in on them.
05:28Okay, deal.
05:29Hey, tell me in two.
05:31You?
05:31Yeah.
05:32You don't kill people.
05:33You're a lab assistant.
05:34We're monsters.
05:35We kill people.
05:36Oh, I kill people.
05:38What do you think I do in my days off?
05:40Okay, but you're going to have to put in more money.
05:42Yeah.
05:43500 bucks.
05:46Deal.
05:48All right.
05:49Get them up.
05:52Now, may the best monster or lab assistant win.
06:06What do you want to eat?
06:17Time to die.
06:18Yeah.
06:22Jimmy, I've told you, playing with dolls is for girls.
06:25Now, get ready for bed.
06:29Hey, kids.
06:30Do you want to kill your awful parents, but you're not sure how to hide the body?
06:33Well, have we got the answer for you.
06:36Introducing the Easy Cake Cremation Oven.
06:42Simply murder your parents.
06:48Dismember their bodies.
06:51And set your cremation ovens to 1600 degrees Fahrenheit and watch your worries disappear.
07:02Oh, look, it's Mommy's wedding ring.
07:07Kids, what's that smell?
07:09Smells like something's burning.
07:11Let me give you a hand.
07:14That's what we were hoping.
07:16The new Easy Cake Cremation Oven comes with everything you see here.
07:20Lightbulb not included.
07:36Nothing quite says Halloween like murdering your family, does it?
07:42Absolutely not.
07:44I mean, just look at Michael Myers.
07:46He's made a killing out of it.
07:50Well, speaking of Michael Myers and murder, that reminds me.
07:54We've already seen the devil, a werewolf, an Igor, and a Frankenstein Seinfeld.
07:59But we haven't really seen any blood yet.
08:01And I'm starting to get a little thirsty.
08:04Me too.
08:05What about you, darlings?
08:07Are you ready for a little blood?
08:09Well, I hope you are.
08:11Because coming up next, we've got a campground slasher, a satanic siren, and a trip to the puppet theater that
08:17you won't soon forget.
08:18So without further ado, let's begin the next abominable act by welcoming to the stage the satanic singing sensations themselves,
08:27the one and only Twin Temple.
12:30I'm...
12:30Okay, can we do it again?
12:31But if you drive your kids off with us here at Camp Happy Trail, you can have all that and
12:37more.
12:38And I don't mean just for a few weeks.
12:41I mean forever.
12:44Have you tried everything with little Jessie, but she's still just an annoying little bitch no matter what you do?
12:49Is driving Tommy to repetitive boring football games and never-ending sports practices ruining your social life?
12:58Do you hate looking at Jan's face because even though she can't help it, she looks just like your mother
13:03-in-law and that's never gonna change?
13:05And you just can't take it for one more goddamn day?
13:09Well, here at Camp Happy Trail, we know exactly how to help.
13:15Here we are in our...
13:16We at Camp Happy Trail know exactly how to help.
13:21At Camp Happy Trail, we specialize in taking care of problem teens like yours no matter what the issue may
13:28be.
13:28Our specially trained counselors, they've seen it all, and can help with problems that therapists, priests, and teachers say can't
13:37be fixed.
13:38With exciting activities like...
13:41Archery!
13:53Axe throwing!
14:05A knot-tying!
14:10After one season of being with us here at Camp Happy Trail, you can rest assured that your little mistake
14:15won't be coming home again anytime soon.
14:25Right, Johnny?
14:28I'm sorry I was such a dick my whole life.
14:31Too late!
14:36So if you're looking for the next graded...
14:42Just one.
15:00So anyway, you should call us today, Camp Happy Trail, to begin your new journey in a whole new life
15:09without any baggage today.
15:13Call 1-800-CAMP-KIDS to book your child's day today.
15:30OUF-03 match
15:38It's a 你啊!
15:38Oh!
15:39Oh!
15:39Sorry, I didn't see you standing there.
15:41Greetings!
15:41oils and ghouls witchy poos and blueberries it's that time of year the perfect time of year
15:46for a horror comic and you think comic books are just spandex and superheroes think again
15:51my friend horror comics been around since the 1940s from dr. occult
16:00these things were so spooky that even the government tried to get them banned there
16:05were senate hearings in 1954 blaming horror comics for juvenile delinquency it was
16:16and you know what we have to say to censorship don't you we say fuck censorship with a witch's
16:22broken tip that's what we have
16:28okay maybe i'm getting a little too freaked out reading this
16:31but you know what i gotta find out how it ends so if you'll excuse me
16:52good evening my frightful fanatics my deathly devotees tonight's tale takes us into the world
17:01of a loving puppet maker and his wife the puppets are their children and you know what they say about
17:09children they see all even when we think they aren't watching
17:43the puppeteer loved his
17:46puppets with all his heart
17:49have some hot tea my dear your cough will wake the dead
17:54thank you my love
17:56oh of course my dove
17:58now now let me get back to work our little children need me
18:13the puppeteer loved performing and his wife helped to run their struggling business
18:20but alas the life of a puppeteer's wife isn't resplendent with the fancy mink
18:27stalls and jewelry that the puppeteer's wife felt she deserved but she had a plan that she had been
18:34implementing slowly but surely drop by drop for quite some time
19:03she cashed in his life insurance and sold the old theater where the puppeteer had plied his trade
19:10and then she planned to sell all of the puppets that people would be willing to buy
19:16and for those that didn't
19:18and these old puppets can just go in the trash
19:20they're just wood and string
19:24wood and string
19:26worthless
19:37no
19:39no
19:40no
19:40no
19:43no
19:45no
19:46no
19:46no
19:47no
19:50no
19:50no
19:50no
19:50no
20:09Would and scream, would and scream, isn't life a funny thing?
20:26Oh, it's a shame.
20:28Oh, it's a shame.
20:29Oh, my God.
20:32Oh, my God.
20:34Oh, my God.
20:38Oh, my God.
20:38Oh, my God.
20:41Oh, my God.
20:47Oh, my God.
20:58Oh, my God.
21:08Oh, my God.
21:17Oh, my God.
21:45Oh, my God.
21:47I just love the devil.
21:52While Halloween may be all about monsters, horror, and getting scared, we mustn't forget that it's also all about candy
21:58and treats.
21:59And we happen to have a special guest chef here on hand who is going to give you a lesson
22:03on how to make some quick, delicious holiday fare that is sure to satiate all of the little trick or
22:08treaters in your neighborhood.
22:09And speaking of creepy cuisine, we also have a super weird musical guest who came here all the way from
22:15Russia just to perform a song that celebrates her favorite Halloween treat, ravioli.
22:25Bon appetit, uglies, and let the show begin.
22:30Ravioli.
22:32Ravioli.
22:34Ravioli.
22:35Ravioli.
22:42Ravioli.
22:45Ravioli.
22:48Ravioli.
22:49Ravioli.
22:51Ravioli.
22:54Hello, darlings.
22:56I'm Barbara Crampton.
22:57Welcome to my kitchen.
22:59I'm going to teach you how to prepare some of my favorite, fast, spooky recipes that are guaranteed to make
23:07you feel like the season of the witch is right around the corner.
23:12I'll start things off with a finger food recipe.
23:17Crush the meat around the bone and the knuckles so that you can loosen them up.
23:22So I'm using a nutcracker.
23:25Oh my God, that's amazing.
23:27Do you hear that crunch?
23:29It's going to be delicious.
23:30And then you want to sprinkle a little bit of lemon and some extra virgin olive oil.
23:37I always use it.
23:39Don't they look delicious?
23:40I might have to take a little sample.
23:46Next, brain fishy swap.
23:50Here, we're going to take a fresh head.
23:54Crack open the cranium.
23:56Ready?
23:58Oh!
24:01Oh my gosh.
24:02Well, you know, it gets a little messy, but it's worth it.
24:07We're actually going to take the brain out of the skull.
24:11All that delicious juice in there.
24:15I'm going to lift this up.
24:17There we go.
24:18Oh my God, that looks amazing.
24:20And we're going to take that and pop it just like that.
24:24Bam!
24:26Beef roth.
24:27There you go.
24:28I didn't measure, but I think that should be good.
24:31I think this is the best part of the whole recipe.
24:35Pig's feet.
24:36Yummy.
24:37Mash that in.
24:38Maybe, I don't know, one more.
24:40That didn't feel like quite enough.
24:41It already sounds delicious.
24:46Perfect.
24:47Look at that beautiful crimson color.
24:50That is going to be amazing.
24:53Oh my gosh.
24:55We're going to take the whole head and bake it in the oven
24:58for about two hours.
25:02Ooh la la.
25:06As you can see, the finished dish is just well.
25:11I have to die for.
25:14Last but not least is our main course, which is a classic cannibal charcoal barbecue.
25:21See what I did there?
25:24Now as you can see, I already have a fresh carcass.
25:28But what I'm going to show you is how to glaze it.
25:31Now first, you want to take the giblets out.
25:36Yeah.
25:37They're a little stringy, but they're going to be so yummy.
25:41My hands got a little, I don't know, red from all the blood.
25:45I got to wipe them off.
25:46Yeah.
25:47That's good.
25:50Now you're going to mix this right up with some other stuff.
25:52First we have a little soy sauce.
25:54Pour that right in.
25:55Yeah.
25:57Everybody loves ketchup.
25:58You can put it on anything.
26:00That is going to be amazing.
26:03Now, just toss it all over the crispy exterior of the body.
26:11So voila.
26:12That's all the time we have today, my friends.
26:15I hope you enjoy making these recipes with your family as much as I enjoyed making them with your family.
26:24Happy halfway to Halloween, ghouls.
26:26And we'll see you next time on From Beyond Barbara's Kitchen.
26:30It's delicious.
26:36Do you have questions about your love life?
26:38Do you wonder if you'll meet the man of your dreams?
26:40Are you curious about how many kids you'll have or how rich you'll be one day?
26:43Do you want to know if your husband is cheating on you?
26:46Well, now you can get the answers to all of these questions and more by calling us here at the
26:50Halfway to Halloween Hotline.
26:51Everybody knows Halloween is the time when our world is closest to the spirit world.
26:57But if you need help now, our Halfway to Halloween operators are standing by to connect you directly to some
27:04spooky spirits who can answer all your psychic questions.
27:09And more.
27:12Let's take a call now and I'll show you how easy it is.
27:18Hello, caller. How can we help you?
27:20Oh, yeah. That slutty witch costume is so fucking hot.
27:25Oh, I just want to stick my face in your...
27:27Whoa, uh, let's move on to the next caller.
27:33Hello, stranger. How can we help you?
27:36Hi. My mom doesn't know I'm gay, but I was...
27:38Yes, she does.
27:41And it's your best friend. She's the one.
27:43Are you sure? The spirits can see that.
27:46Well, no. But honestly, your friend sounds like a real bitch.
27:50Oh my gosh, thank you. You helped me so much.
27:52Oh, thank you. Bye-bye now.
27:55Bye.
27:55God, what a fucking loser.
27:57Excuse me?
27:59Hello? Knock-knock.
28:01Uh, who's there?
28:02I'm glad you asked.
28:03For an easy payment of $59.99 per minute, you can have these answers and more.
28:08Hi, so I have a stalker and I want to know if he's watching me now.
28:12Ooh, okay. Let me see what my tarot cards hold for you.
28:19Oh, the death card. Uh, death does not necessarily mean you're gonna die.
28:26See, the death card holds many meanings.
28:30You know, in some cultures, death means rebirth.
28:36Hello?
28:38Call us now at the Halfway to Halloween Hotline and get your questions answered today.
28:46Our service and website are for entertainment only. This service is for adults 18 years of age and older.
28:49Call us now.
28:51Call us now.
29:05All around.
29:07We're ready now.
29:07Go!
29:08Go!
29:08Go!
29:10Go!
29:12Go!
29:16Go!
29:17Go!
29:19Go!
31:50Well, that was truly bizarre.
31:53And I loved every ravioli minute of it.
31:57I did too.
31:58And you know, I'm really enjoying our little halfway to Halloween celebration so far.
32:01But I can't shake the feeling that we're missing something.
32:05It's sex.
32:09Yes, yes.
32:10Halloween is all about dressing up and monsters and candy and all of that.
32:13But it's also about being a total slut.
32:19What are you talking about?
32:21Think about it.
32:22Every adult Halloween costume is just a classic costume with the word sexy before it.
32:28Hmm.
32:29Sexy nurse.
32:31Mm-hmm.
32:32Sexy doctor.
32:33Ooh.
32:34Sexy fireman.
32:35Aw.
32:36Sexy devil.
32:37Ooh.
32:39I guess you're right.
32:40And also, nothing says Halloween like a sexy late night hookup.
32:46Halloween always makes people lose their inhibitions and can get them caught up in all sorts of scandalous acts.
32:54True, but as we all know from watching almost every horror movie, the people who usually partake in provocation rarely
33:00make it out alive.
33:01Which, sadly, may be the case for the hot and horny couple in our next story.
33:06You see, it was a dark and stormy Halloween night.
33:10Now, now, you don't want to spoil the surprise.
33:17And speaking of surprises, we have one of our own coming up right after our next naughty narration.
33:24Stay tuned, uglies.
33:36Look, okay?
33:37Don't be nervous.
33:38I don't.
33:38We've already done it with a few girls now, and you promised we could do it with a guy next.
33:43Yeah, I know.
33:44Come on, baby.
33:45It's our anniversary.
33:47Be adventurous.
33:48But what if he tries something with me?
33:51That is going to be fun.
33:53If he tries something, he's going to, I mean, he's going to be fun.
33:58No!
34:00Oh, my God.
34:01I think that's him.
34:02Yeah.
34:03I think, hi.
34:04Hi.
34:04Uh, go, go, get, go around, go around.
34:07Just let him in, let him in.
34:08Okay, okay.
34:08That scared me, but.
34:09Oh.
34:10Wait, how do I look?
34:10How do I look?
34:11How do I look?
34:12Good?
34:12Okay, good.
34:13Okay.
34:13Let him in, let him in.
34:14Yep.
34:16Okay.
34:18How do I look?
34:20Oh.
34:22Whoa.
34:26You, you are much bigger in real life.
34:31Yeah.
34:33That's what they always say.
34:35I bet they do.
34:37Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God.
34:41Please don't.
34:41Uh, I'm a lumberjack.
34:43I thought you said you read my profile.
34:46I don't read.
34:47She read.
34:47I did, and I forgot to tell you he's a lumberjack.
34:49You didn't tell me.
34:50He's a lumberjack.
34:51I forgot to tell you.
34:52You gotta tell me this.
34:52You're a lumberjack.
34:53He's a lumberjack.
34:53I'm so sorry.
34:55Please sit down.
34:57I'll, uh, get some drinks for us.
34:58You, you have an axe.
35:00That's awesome.
35:02Ugh.
35:02Look, I just, I just have to ask.
35:04Do you do this sort of thing often?
35:06Oh, yeah.
35:07Sometimes couples just need someone to come into their relationship and, uh, tear them up.
35:15You know what I mean.
35:16Yeah.
35:17I mean, I, uh, I don't know if we're looking for all that, but...
35:21Like, sometimes they start off just wanting to have a little bit of fun.
35:25Once I get started, I just get out of control.
35:30Before you know it, I get so heated up and I just...
35:35I want to split them both in two.
35:37Oh, God.
35:37Okay, tired.
35:39Look, we are very excited for what happens next.
35:43Um, just be gentle.
35:46You know what?
35:47I am going to get into something a little more comfortable, and I want you two to bond.
35:53Okay?
35:54It's gonna be great.
35:56Wait till you see what she has planned for you.
35:58It's gonna be amazing.
36:09Alright, guys.
36:10That's what I'm talking about.
36:14I'm gonna get into something.
36:16Let's go.
36:17I'm gonna get into something.
36:17Oh, my God!
36:19Oh, my God!
36:20It hurts!
36:20It hurts!
36:21It hurts!
36:21It hurts!
36:21Boys, make sure you save some for me!
36:40All right, boys, I'm coming.
36:45I can't take a piece of pain.
36:55Open up, baby. Don't be scared.
36:57It only hurts when it first goes wrong.
37:27I can't take a piece of pain.
38:01I can't take a piece of pain.
38:22You know what blows their life on.
38:27Stay with us, it's just time.
38:32Transylvania, come goodbye.
38:35Sorry, I was the master cat.
38:37Drawing with laughter now.
38:38He's having just a one face of cake.
38:40He has a makeup cat.
38:41He's trying to shake a butt.
38:42It's a form of eyes.
38:43But they're dead.
38:45They're sad.
38:46Is there someone who knows what they do is wrong?
38:52Stay with us, it's just time.
38:58Transylvania, come goodbye.
39:09The candle of his light.
39:11It's Satan has beside his death.
39:12There hasn't been an evening like this.
39:14This is what they wanted always to be lented.
39:16You could never be too rich or too thin.
39:18The blood has run out.
39:22Time to ruin any huge pouch.
39:27Morning has come out this long.
39:30What have you learned from what has been shown?
39:36Transylvania, come goodbye.
39:40You know what blows their life on.
39:55You know what blows their life on.
40:27I'm afraid that's all the time we have with you tonight, darlings.
40:31We do hope you've enjoyed yourselves.
40:33And we want to thank you all for joining us
40:35for our first Halfway to Halloween TV special.
40:38Nightmare girls, take it away.
41:05Nightmare girls, take it away.
41:12To bite
41:13The blood on the top
41:15In my mood for the night
41:16My rival flame and flavor
41:18Non-carbonated
41:21Polyunsaturated blood
41:23My rival flame and flavor
41:25Non-carbonated
41:28Polyunsaturated blood
41:30Jack keeps me one night at 12
41:33With such a black bank
41:35And I'll find the show
41:37I've cleaned the press
41:38I'll give you a fix
41:40So my new leader generated
41:42I'll admit
41:42I gave him my rival flame and flavor
41:45Non-carbonated
41:48Polyunsaturated blood
41:50She gave him
41:51Polyunsaturated blood
41:52Don't know we need it
41:55Polyunsaturated blood
41:56It keeps me quickly
41:58Fused me
42:00From vanicates
42:01To purple
42:02Efficiency
42:03Now turn
42:05Consuming my laboratory proof
42:07It'll make a new
42:08That bother you
42:09That bother you
42:12I'll admit it
42:13I'll admit it
42:13I'll admit it
42:13I'll admit it
42:14I'll admit it
42:16I'll admit it
42:16All the other saturated blood
42:17I'll admit it
42:18Just kidding
42:18So in my
42:19Ruin out of niche
42:20Now it's all the worse
42:22About to fight
42:23Then switch
42:24If you're fighting more men
42:25Don't get left
42:27Try my new
42:28Non-carbonated
42:29Pass
42:30My rival flavor flavor
42:32Non-carbonated
42:34Polyunsaturated blood
42:37Polyunsaturated blood
42:38Polyunsaturated blood
42:39Non-carbonated
42:41Polyunsaturated blood
42:43Polyunsaturated blood
42:44Rival flavor flavor
42:46Non-carbonated
42:48Polyunsaturated blood
42:50Polyunsaturated blood
42:52Polyunsaturated blood
42:52Polyunsaturated blood
42:53Non-carbonated
42:54Polyunsaturated blood
42:57I will play with flavor
42:59Now I can't eat it
43:01I will touch your back
43:03Good night, uglies
43:16We'll see you again on Halloween night
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