- 2 days ago
The Boulet Brothers Halfway to Halloween 2023
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00:16It's the Boulay Brothers Halfway to Halloween TV Special
00:21Starring
00:22David Dasbalgen
00:25Taryn Killam
00:27Kevin Smith
00:31Matthew Villard
00:40Rachel True
00:42Quinn Temple
00:45Derek Mears
00:49And hold me tight and keep a kissing me, sweetie, for all the night
00:58Jorge Garcia
01:00Barbara Crampton
01:03Melissa Rose
01:07Take a dream for me in your old sweet way
01:11Katya Zamalochikova
01:15Steve Agee
01:17Beth Dover
01:20The Nightmare Girls
01:22Smirk O'Kane, Melissa B. Pierce, and Kendra Onyx
01:30Dana DiLorenzo
01:33John Ross Bowie
01:36Eve Dasmalchen
01:39Sigourney Beaver
01:41And the Queens of Darkness themselves
01:57Your hunting hosts for the evening
01:59The Boulay Brothers
02:05Welcome to the show, darlings, and happy halfway to Halloween
02:12As we all know, there are so many of you little goblins and gooly-goos out there who just love
02:17all things Halloween and horror
02:18But unfortunately, you've got another six months until your favorite holiday is here
02:23And we feel it would just be cruel to make you wait all through the spring and summer just to
02:27get your fiendish fix
02:29So, we've decided, as the newest self-appointed sentinels of Samhain, to give you a little sustenance by creating our
02:36own holiday special
02:37That will give you a sinful serving of Halloween and horror that is guaranteed to keep you well-fed until
02:43October 31st
02:45You see, tonight, we've put a special call out to all of our fellow famous monsters to come together and
02:51join us
02:51For a sinister spectral spectacular filled with blood, gore, witches, vampires, and all things that go bump in the night
03:00For a halfway to Halloween celebration
03:05So, why don't you just go ahead and turn down the lights
03:07Lock your doors and pull those covers up over your heads because
03:12It's time for the Boulé Brothers Halfway to Halloween TV special to begin
03:17Hey!
03:47I mean, what's the deal with pitchforks?
03:48I've never seen a villager bale hay.
03:52Well, I quit my job.
03:55You quit?
03:56I quit.
03:58Get out!
03:59Why'd you do that?
04:00I can't work for that guy anymore.
04:02He's insane.
04:04Literally.
04:05What did you expect?
04:07He's a mad scientist!
04:11You know, you never see any normal scientists.
04:14They're all mad.
04:17Just once, I'd love to work for a normal scientist.
04:21You know what this means, Igor.
04:23Without a job, you're gonna have to move back in with your parent.
04:29Great.
04:30I give up one mad scientist for two mad parents.
04:34Maybe it won't be so bad.
04:36Maybe one person who's more insane than my parents.
04:45Well, full moon.
04:48So?
04:49So?
04:49So what?
04:51Look at my face.
04:53It's covered with fur.
04:54I got fangs.
04:55Just don't kill anyone.
04:58Just don't kill anyone.
04:58This isn't gonna kill anybody.
05:00You're a werewolf.
05:01It's what you do.
05:02You kill people.
05:05I can manage to not kill anybody for one full moon.
05:09You?
05:09You can't go one full hour without killing somebody.
05:12I can last longer than you.
05:16Care to make it interesting?
05:21What are you thinking?
05:23I'll bet you $100 you kill someone before me.
05:27I want in on them.
05:28Great deal.
05:29Hey, tell me it's you.
05:30You?
05:31Yeah.
05:32You don't kill people.
05:32You're a lab assistant.
05:34We're monsters.
05:34We kill people.
05:36Oh, I kill people.
05:38What do you think I do on my days off?
05:39Okay, but you're gonna have to put in more money.
05:42Yeah.
05:43500 bucks.
05:46Deal.
05:48All right.
05:49Get them up.
05:52Now, may the best monster
05:55or lab assistant win.
06:08What do you want to eat, huh?
06:17Time to die.
06:22Jimmy, I've told you.
06:23Playing with dolls is for girls.
06:25Now, get ready for bed.
06:29Hey, kids.
06:30Do you want to kill your awful parents
06:31but you're not sure how to hide the body?
06:33Well, have we got the answer for you.
06:36Introducing the Easy Cake Cremation Oven.
06:42Simply murder your parents.
06:48Dismember their bodies
06:50and set your cremation ovens to 1600 degrees Fahrenheit
06:54and watch your worries disappear.
07:01Oh, look.
07:02It's mommy's wedding ring.
07:06Kids.
07:07What's that smell?
07:09Smells like something's burning.
07:11Let me give you a hand.
07:14That's what we were hoping.
07:16The new Easy Cake Cremation Oven
07:18comes with everything you see here.
07:20Lightbulb not included.
07:37Nothing quite says Halloween like murdering your family, does it?
07:42Absolutely not.
07:44I mean, just look at Michael Myers.
07:46He's made a killing out of it.
07:50Well, speaking of Michael Myers and murder, that reminds me.
07:53We've already seen the devil, a werewolf, an Igor, and a Frankenstein Seinfeld.
07:58But we haven't really seen any blood yet.
08:00Hmm.
08:01And I'm starting to get a little thirsty.
08:04Hmm.
08:04Me too.
08:05What about you, darlings?
08:07Are you ready for a little blood?
08:09Well, I hope you are.
08:11Because coming up next, we've got a campground slasher, a satanic siren, and a trip to the puppet theater that
08:17you won't soon forget.
08:18So without further ado, let's begin the next abominable act by welcoming to the stage the satanic singing sensations themselves,
08:27the one and only Twin Temple.
08:49And I hope bye-bye again, junge fighters band able.
08:58Bye.
08:59Bye-bye-bye-bye Babylon, Secret hoar I fall upon.
09:03Bye-bye-bye Babylon,, Secret hoar I fall upon.
09:08Bye-bye-bye Babylon, Secret hoar I fall upon.
09:14Mar, Babylon.
09:16My Babylon, love me 거야 and New Orleans,
09:18I've got a girl and her name is Babylon.
09:22She looks a vision, naked in her exifon.
09:27We'll set the night off fire and light up the golden dawn.
09:33Whoa!
09:35I'm a baby.
09:36Ba-ba-ba, Ba-ba-ba-balon.
09:39Sacred whore, I call upon.
09:41Ba-ba-ba, Ba-ba-balon.
09:43Sacred whore, I call upon.
09:46Ba-ba-ba, Ba-ba-balon.
09:48Sacred whore, I call upon.
09:52Love that long.
09:54Love that long.
09:55Love that long.
09:57We'll say now it's got her hand.
10:00She's the mother of my abomination.
10:05Don't want her waiting.
10:07What an invocation.
10:11Whoa!
10:13Ba-ba-ba, Ba-ba-balon.
10:16Secret whore, I call upon.
10:19Ba-ba-ba, Ba-ba-balon.
10:21Secret whore, I call upon.
10:24Ba-ba-ba, Ba-ba-balon.
10:26Secret whore, I call upon.
10:30Love that long.
10:33Seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, eight, three.
10:38Seven, seven, seven, eight, three.
10:43Seven, seven, seven.
10:47Oh, she makes me bleed.
11:10Ba-ba-balon.
11:13Ba-ba-ba, Ba-ba-balon.
11:18Secret whore I call upon
11:20Bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab,
11:38bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab,
11:41bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab,
11:42bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab,
11:42bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab,
11:42bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab, bab
12:12Are you ready for fun?
12:14Are you ready for friends?
12:17Are you ready for adventure?
12:19Well, we don't have any of those things here, but if you drop your kids off with us here
12:23at Camp Arawak, you can have all that and more.
12:27Wait, did we change that?
12:29Because I'm...
12:30Okay.
12:31Can we do it again?
12:31But if you drop your kids off with us here at Camp Happy Trail, you can have all that
12:37and more.
12:38And I don't mean just for a few weeks.
12:40I mean forever.
12:44Have you tried everything with little Jessie, but she's still just an annoying little bitch
12:48no matter what you do?
12:50Is driving Tommy to repetitive, boring football games and never-ending sports practices ruining
12:56your social life?
12:57Do you hate looking at Jan's face because even though she can't help it, she looks just
13:02like your mother-in-law and that's never gonna change?
13:05And you just can't take it for one more goddamn day?
13:08Well, here at Camp Happy Trail, we know exactly how to help.
13:15Here we are in our...
13:17We at Camp Happy Trail know exactly how to help.
13:21At Camp Happy Trail, we specialize in taking care of problem teens like yours no matter what
13:27the issue may be.
13:28Our specially trained counselors, they've seen it all and can help with problems that therapists,
13:34priests, and teachers say can't be fixed.
13:38With exciting activities like archery, axe throwing, axe throwing, axe throwing, axe throwing,
13:57axe throwing, axe throwing, axe throwing, axe throwing, axe throwing, axe throwing, axe throwing, axe throwing, axe throwing, axe throwing,
14:05axe throwing,麻akat,
14:05and not tying.
14:10After one season of being with us here at Camp Happy Trail, you can rest assured that your
14:15little Miss Saint won't be coming home again any time soon.
14:25Right.
14:26Johnny?
14:26Bonnie, I'm sorry I was such a dick my whole life.
14:31Too late!
14:36So if you're looking for the next graded...
14:42Just once.
15:00So anyway, you should call us today, Camp Happy Trail, to begin your new journey in a whole new life
15:09without any baggage today.
15:12Call 1-800-CAMP-KIDS to book your child's stay today.
15:39Whoa! Sorry, I didn't see you standing there. Greetings!
15:41Boils and ghouls, witchy-poos and boo-berries. It's that time of year, the perfect time of year for a
15:47horror comic.
15:48And you think comic books are just spandex and superheroes? Think again, my friend.
15:51Horror comics been around since the 1940s, from Doctor Occult to...
16:00These things were so spooky that even the government tried to get them banned.
16:05There were Senate hearings in 1954, blaming horror comics for juvenile delinquency.
16:16And you know what we have to say to censorship, don't you?
16:19We say fuck censorship with a witch's broken tit!
16:23That's what we have...
16:28Okay.
16:29Maybe I'm getting a little too freaked out reading this thing.
16:31But you know what? I gotta find out how it ends.
16:33So if you'll excuse me.
16:52Good evening, my frightful fanatics, my deathly devotees.
16:58Tonight's tale takes us into the world of a loving puppet maker and his wife.
17:05The puppets are their children.
17:07And you know what they say about children.
17:10They see all.
17:14Even when we think they aren't watching.
17:16Ha-haha-ha!
17:18Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
17:30Ha-ha-ha-ha!
17:44the puppeteer loved his puppets with all his heart have some hot tea my dear
17:52your cough will wake the dead thank you my love
17:56oh of course my dove now now let me get back to work
18:01our little children need me
18:12the puppeteer loved performing and his wife helped to run their struggling business
18:20but alas the life of a puppeteer's wife isn't resplendent with the fancy mink stoles
18:27and jewelry that the puppeteer's wife felt she deserved
18:31but she had a plan that she had been implementing
18:35slowly but surely drop by drop for quite some time
19:03she cashed in his life insurance and sold the old theater where the puppeteer had plied his trade
19:10and then she planned to sell all of the puppets that people would be willing to buy
19:16and for those that didn't
19:17and these old puppets can just go in the trash
19:20they're just wood and string
19:24wood and string
19:27worthless
19:28and then
19:29and then
19:33and did
19:58and
20:09Word and string, word and string, isn't life a funny thing?
20:28Word and string, word and string, word and string, word and string.
21:02Now that was some scary shit kids, but it's just a comic book.
21:06Absolutely nothing to be scared of because...
21:15Oh shit!
21:17Oh shit!
21:37Now that was entertaining.
21:43Twin Temple are so cool.
21:47I just love the devil.
21:52While Halloween may be all about monsters, horror and getting scared, we mustn't forget
21:57that it's also all about candy and treats.
21:59And we happen to have a special guest chef here on hand who is going to give you a lesson
22:03on how to make some quick, delicious holiday fare that is sure to satiate all of the little
22:07trick-or-treaters in your neighborhood.
22:09And speaking of creepy cuisine, we also have a super weird musical guest who came here all
22:14the way from Russia just to perform a song that celebrates her favorite Halloween treat,
22:19ravioli.
22:25Bon appetit, uglies, and let the show begin.
22:54Hello darlings.
22:55Hello darlings.
22:55I'm Barbara Crampton.
22:57Welcome to my kitchen.
22:59I'm going to teach you how to prepare some of my favorite, fast, spooky recipes that are
23:06guaranteed to make you feel like the season of the witch is right around the corner.
23:12I'll start things off with a finger food recipe.
23:17Crush the meat around the bone and the knuckles so that you can loosen them up.
23:22So I'm using a nutcracker.
23:25Oh my God, that's amazing.
23:27Do you hear that crunch?
23:29It's going to be delicious.
23:30And then you want to sprinkle a little bit of lemon and some extra virgin olive oil.
23:37I always use it.
23:38Don't they look delicious?
23:40I might have to take a little sample.
23:46Next, brain vichyssois.
23:50Here, we're going to take a fresh head.
23:54Crack open the cranium.
23:56Ready?
23:58Oh!
24:01Oh my gosh.
24:02Well, you know, it gets a little messy, but it's worth it.
24:07We're actually going to take the brain out of the skull.
24:11All that delicious juice in there.
24:15I'm going to lift this up.
24:17There we go.
24:18Oh my God, that looks amazing.
24:19And we're going to take that and pop it just like that.
24:24Bam!
24:25Beef broth.
24:27There you go.
24:28I didn't measure, but I think that should be good.
24:31I think this is the best part of the whole recipe.
24:35Pig's feet.
24:36Yummy.
24:37Mash that in.
24:38Maybe, I don't know, one more.
24:40That didn't feel like quite enough.
24:42It already sounds delicious.
24:46Perfect.
24:47Look at that beautiful crimson color.
24:50That is going to be amazing.
24:53Oh my gosh.
24:55We're going to take the whole head and bake it in the oven for about two hours.
25:02Ooh la la.
25:06As you can see, the finished dish is just, well, to die for.
25:13Last but not least is our main course,
25:16which is a classic cannibal charcoal barbecue.
25:21See what I did there?
25:24Now as you can see, I already have a fresh carcass.
25:28But what I'm going to show you is how to glaze it.
25:31Now first, you want to take the giblets out.
25:36Yeah.
25:37They're a little stringy, but they're going to be so yummy.
25:41My hands got a little, I don't know, red from all the blood.
25:45I've got to wipe them off.
25:46Yeah.
25:47That's good.
25:49Now you're going to mix this right up with some other stuff.
25:52First, we have a little soy sauce.
25:54Pour that right in.
25:56Yeah.
25:57Everybody loves ketchup.
25:58You can put it on anything.
26:00That is going to be amazing.
26:03Now, just toss it all over the crispy exterior of the body.
26:11So, voila.
26:12That's all the time we have today, my friends.
26:15I hope you enjoy making these recipes with your family as much as I enjoyed making them with your family.
26:23Happy halfway to Halloween, ghouls.
26:25And we'll see you next time on From Beyond Barbara's Kitchen.
26:30It's delicious.
26:36Do you have questions about your love life?
26:38Do you wonder if you'll meet the man of your dreams?
26:40Are you curious about how many kids you'll have or how rich you'll be one day?
26:43Do you want to know if your husband is cheating on you?
26:46Well, now you can get the answers to all of these questions and more by calling us here at the
26:50Halfway to Halloween Hotline.
26:51Everybody knows Halloween is the time when our world is closest to the spirit world.
26:57But if you need help now, our Halfway to Halloween operators are standing by to connect you directly to some
27:04spooky spirits who can answer all your psychic questions.
27:09And more.
27:12Let's take a call now and I'll show you how easy it is.
27:18Hello, caller. How can we help you?
27:20Oh, yeah. That slutty witch costume is so fucking hot. I just want to stick my face in your...
27:27Whoa. Let's move on to the next caller.
27:33Hello, stranger. How can we help you?
27:36Hi. My mom doesn't know I'm gay, but I would...
27:38Yes, she does.
27:40And it's your best friend. She's the one.
27:43Are you sure? The spirits can see that.
27:46Well, no. But honestly, your friend sounds like a real bitch.
27:50Oh my gosh, thank you. You helped me so much.
27:52Oh, thank you. Bye-bye now.
27:55Bye.
27:55God, what a fucking loser.
27:57Excuse me?
27:59Hello?
28:00Knock, knock.
28:01Uh, who's there?
28:02I'm glad you asked. For an easy payment of $59.99 per minute, you can have these answers and more.
28:08Hi, so I have a stalker and I want to know if he's watching me now.
28:11Ooh, okay. Let me see what my tarot cards hold for you.
28:19Oh, the death card. Uh, death does not necessarily mean you're gonna die.
28:26See, the death card holds many meanings.
28:30You know, in some cultures, death means rebirth.
28:36Hello?
28:38Call us now at the Halfway to Halloween Hotline.
28:41And get your questions answered today.
28:46Our service and website are for entertainment only.
28:48This service is for adults 18 years of age and older.
29:31This service is for adults 18 years of age and older.
33:08Happy Halloween night.
33:10Now, now.
33:11You don't want to spoil the surprise.
33:17And speaking of surprises, we have one of our own coming up right after our next naughty
33:22narration.
33:23Stay tuned, douglies.
33:36Look, okay?
33:37Don't be nervous.
33:38I don't.
33:38We've already done it with a few girls now, and you promised we could do it with a guy
33:42next.
33:43Yeah, I know.
33:44Come on, baby.
33:45It's our anniversary.
33:46Be adventurous.
33:48But what if he tries something with me?
33:51That is going to be fun.
33:52If he tries something...
33:53He's going to...
33:54I mean...
33:54He's going to...
33:55No!
33:59Oh!
34:00Oh, my God.
34:01I think that's him.
34:02Yeah.
34:03I think...
34:03Hi.
34:04Hi.
34:05Go around.
34:06Go around.
34:07Let him in.
34:07Let him in.
34:08Okay, okay.
34:08That scared me, but...
34:10Wait, how do I look?
34:10How do I look?
34:11Good?
34:12Okay, good.
34:13Okay.
34:13Let him in.
34:13Let him in.
34:15Okay.
34:18How do I look?
34:22Whoa.
34:27You...
34:27You are...
34:29much bigger in real life.
34:32Yeah.
34:33That's what they always say.
34:35I bet they do.
34:38Oh, my God!
34:38Oh, my God!
34:39Oh, my God!
34:41Please don't...
34:41Uh...
34:42I'm a lumberjack.
34:43I thought you said you read my profile.
34:45I don't read.
34:47She read.
34:47I did, and I forgot to tell you who's a lumberjack.
34:49You didn't tell me!
34:50He's a lumberjack!
34:51I forgot to tell you.
34:52You gotta tell me this.
34:52He's a lumberjack.
34:53I'm so sorry.
34:54Okay.
34:55Please sit down.
34:57I'll, uh, get some drinks for us.
34:58You...
34:59You have an axe.
35:00That's awesome.
35:02Ugh.
35:02Look, I just...
35:03I just have to ask.
35:04Do you do this sort of thing often?
35:06Oh, yeah.
35:06Yeah.
35:07Sometimes couples just need someone to come into their relationship and, uh, tear them
35:12up.
35:15You know what I mean.
35:16Yeah.
35:17I mean, I have...
35:18I don't know if we're looking for all that, but...
35:21Like, sometimes they start off just wanting to have a little bit of fun.
35:25Once I get started, I just get out of control.
35:29I don't know.
35:30Before you know it, I get so heated up and I just...
35:34God!
35:35I want to split them both in two.
35:36Oh, God.
35:37Okay.
35:38Tiger.
35:39Look, we are very excited for what happens next.
35:44Um...
35:45Just be gentle.
35:45You know what?
35:47I am going to get into something a little more comfortable.
35:50And I want you two to bond.
35:53Okay?
35:54It's gonna be great.
35:56Wait till you see what she has planned for you.
35:58It's gonna be amazing.
36:09All right, guys.
36:10That's what I'm talking about.
36:21Boys, make sure you save some for me.
36:40All right, boys.
36:42I'm coming.
36:45I can't take them.
36:47It's too great.
36:49No!
36:52No!
36:53No!
36:54No!
36:55No!
36:55No!
36:55No!
36:55No!
36:55Open up, baby.
36:56Don't be scared.
36:57It only hurts when it first goes in.
36:59No!
36:59No!
37:00No!
37:00No!
37:00No!
37:02No!
37:03No!
37:05No!
37:05No!
37:06No!
40:27I'm afraid that's all the time we have with you tonight, darlings.
40:30We do hope you've enjoyed yourselves.
40:33And we want to thank you all for joining us for our first Halfway to Halloween TV special.
40:37Nightmare Girls, take it away.
41:45Plano, non-carbonated, polyunsaturated blood
41:49She gave her crystalline flavor, not the way it is
41:55Polyunsaturated blood
41:56It gives you quickly fusedly
41:59From fang-age to purple, full of fissionty
42:04Natural, consuming my laboratory proof
42:07They'll make a new vampire, the new world
42:10Water, lavender, only one calorie
42:15Polyunsaturated blood
42:17Just enjoyed my ruined knowledge
42:20Now it's all the way to go to fight
42:23Can you switch to your fighting more mess?
42:26Don't you get lost for my new non-carbonated past?
42:30My rifle flavor flavor, non-carbonated
42:35Polyunsaturated blood
42:37Plano, plano, plano, non-carbonated
42:41Polyunsaturated blood
42:43My rifle flavor flavor, non-carbonated
42:49Polyunsaturated blood
43:14Good night, uglies.
43:16We'll see you again on Halloween night.
43:25We'll see you again on Halloween night.
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