- 9 hours ago
My husband has selective hearing loss
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:02my husband had selective hearing i asked him to take out the trash silence i asked him to load
00:09the dishwasher silence i would scream until my throat burned and he would just stare at me like
00:15i was the one losing my mind then he would say i never said i would not do it why
00:20are you freaking
00:21out so i finally stopped i started pretending i could not hear him too and guess who lost his
00:27mind after dinner one night i took our son upstairs to give him a bath before i left i reminded
00:32my
00:33husband clean up the kitchen he was scrolling through his phone on the couch and grunted
00:36yeah without looking up 20 minutes later i came back down dishes still everywhere food still
00:42crusting on plates cole was still on the couch still on his phone laughing at some stupid video
00:47cole i asked you to do the dishes nothing his thumbs kept swiping cole still nothing just the
00:55occasional chuckle cole he finally looked up annoyed i heard you the first time relax i will
01:03get to it he did not get to it i put our son to bed came back downstairs at 10
01:10o'clock same mess
01:12same husband same phone fine whatever i went to bed next morning i came down to make breakfast
01:19dishes still in the sink grease dried onto the counter like glue he had from six o'clock until
01:25god knows when to do them but scrolling through instagram was a ton of more important i scrubbed the
01:30dried cheese off plates washed everything wiped the counters made pancakes cole shuffled in around
01:36eight still in his boxers oh hey you made breakfast he sat down across from me and started helping himself
01:42cold i put myself down yesterday i asked you twice to do the dishes this morning they were exactly
01:51where we left them he kept eating did not even pause i am talking to you
01:59he looked up with that stupid grin babe i just forgot why are you so mad i said i will
02:05do them next time
02:06chill
02:09i was not chilling after breakfast i went to get our son dressed
02:17cole the laundry can you switch it to the dryer before you leave he gave me a salute yes ma
02:22'am
02:23i should have known better got jason dressed dropped him at daycare
02:28went to work came home at six walked past the laundry room and stopped the washing machine door was still
02:34closed same cycle from that morning i opened it the clothes were still wet they had been sitting
02:39there for 12 hours already smelling musty i ran the load again cole came home dropped his work bag and
02:47collapsed onto the couch phone out thumbs moving
02:52cole the dryer no response
02:58cole dryer nothing i stormed over and kicked his foot he looked up like i had just
03:04i heard you jesus you said dryer i will do it why are you standing over me you did not
03:10do it this
03:10morning the clothes sat in the washer all day they smelled i had to rerun the whole load so you
03:15reran it big deal he shrugged it is not like the world ended i went back to the kitchen and
03:21started
03:21cooking dinner was ready an hour later i came out to set the table clothes still in the washer cole
03:27was in
03:27the bathroom door closed phone sounds coming through the door i hung the laundry myself by myself again
03:34he came out while i was hanging the last shirt saw me snorted sat down at the table and started
03:40eating
03:40video blasting from his phone fork in one hand screaming the other jason is three three-year-olds notice
03:46everything why does daddy get to watch videos and i do not i took a breath
03:55cole put the phone away let's just eat together nothing cole still nothing
04:01cole put the phone away
04:05he rolled his eyes so hard i thought they might get stuck
04:08oh my god i heard you you do not have to yell you sound like my mother
04:13i saw red
04:17i did not want to argue in front of our son so i tried to reason with him
04:21he is watching you if you eat with your phone he is going to think that is okay
04:25then it is okay i don't care if he watches videos at dinner
04:30cole he is three
04:36so he will figure it out it is not like he is going to starve
04:41i gave up
04:45i fed jason put him in the bath read him a story tucked him in cole stayed on the couch
04:52the whole
04:52time when i came down take out the trash yeah yeah
05:00load the dishwasher
05:05wipe down the counters
05:07got it
05:10i went to bed
05:13next morning
05:15trash still full
05:17dishwasher empty
05:19counter sticky
05:21i realized something sitting there at 6 a.m. with coffee in my hand and rage in my throat
05:26he was not forgetting he was waiting me out because eventually i would just do it myself
05:31my mother-in-law had been gone for three days three days and already the whole house was falling apart
05:37here is the thing about my mother-in-law carol she is amazing
05:41when i got pregnant unexpectedly i was 26 cole was 28 we had been dating about a year
05:46she flew in from florida and basically moved in with us for three years
05:49she cooked she cleaned she took care of jason so i could keep my job
05:53she never complained not once
05:55and cole sat on his ass the whole time
05:58because his mom served him dinner every night like he was still in high school
06:02then jason turned three and started preschool and carol said she wanted to go home
06:06said she missed her book club and her garden and her friends
06:10i did not blame her
06:11but i also did not realize what i was losing
06:14not her cooking not her cleaning her buffer
06:17because without carol in the house there was no one left to do the work except me
06:21and cole had no intention of becoming
06:23so i decided to give him a taste of his own medicine
06:28the next morning i made breakfast for me and jason
06:30two eggs toast cut up some strawberries
06:33cole came down around 8 30
06:35opened the fridge opened the cabinets looked at me
06:39where is mine
06:40i was packing jason's backpack did not look up
06:43brianna where is my breakfast
06:46i finally turned around
06:47oh did you ask me to make you breakfast
06:50his face went red
06:51are you serious
06:52he grabbed his keys and slammed the door so hard a picture came off the wall
06:56jason looked at me with big eyes
06:58is daddy okay
06:58daddy is fine baby eat your strawberries
07:02that night cole texted me working late do not wait up
07:07fine by me
07:10jason and i went to chick-fil-a and then to the indoor playground
07:13he was asleep by 8
07:16the next morning at breakfast i looked cole right in the eye
07:18hey can you dry the laundry when you get home
07:20yeah sure
07:23he did not
07:23but here is what he did not know
07:26i had already washed and dried our clothes the night before
07:28that load was just his work uniforms
07:30both of them
07:31he came downstairs the next morning at 7 15
07:33opened the dryer and found two wet sour smelling polos
07:38brianna
07:38why did you not dry my clothes
07:41i was pouring coffee did not look up
07:42i asked you to dry them remember
07:45you knew i was not gonna do it
07:49oh
07:50so you admit you just do not do things
07:52on purpose
07:54he opened his mouth
07:55closed it
07:59put on a damp shirt that smelled like mildew and left for work
08:04i smiled into my coffee
08:10i thought maybe just maybe he would figure it out after a few days of this
08:17then i overheard him on the phone with his buddy mark
08:21i swear to god man she has lost her mind
08:24she asked me to put the trash out
08:26the trash and then got mad when i did not do it right away
08:29mark's voice crackled through the speaker
08:31like she cooks i'm supposed to do dishes
08:33she does laundry i'm supposed to fold it
08:35why can't she just do it
08:37my mom did everything she never made my dad do anything
08:40what did you try
08:41i tried just not doing it
08:42letting it sit
08:43you know
08:44figured she would get annoyed and just handle it
08:46but now she is not cooking for me
08:48she is not doing my laundry
08:50she's fighting back
08:51dang
08:52i know
08:53and honestly
08:53if she had not gotten pregnant
08:56i never would have
08:56i stopped listening
08:57my hand was shaking on the doorframe
08:59he never would have what
09:00married me
09:01loved me
09:02he said it like i was a mistake
09:04a consequence
09:05a ball and chain
09:07i walked away quietly
09:08did not cry
09:09did not scream
09:10i just started planning
09:11life went on
09:13same fights
09:14same silences
09:16one night i asked him to do the dishes before i put jason to bed
09:19yeah yeah
09:22came down an hour later
09:23dishes moved to the sink
09:25not washed
09:26just relocated
09:27fine
09:27next morning
09:28still there
09:33i took jason to i want the pancakes
09:35cool woke up to an empty house
09:39in a sink
09:39full of old crusty food
09:40he texted me
09:41where are you
09:42did not answer
09:43he called
09:45ignored
09:46i came home that night
09:48after dropping jason at my mom
09:49the dishes were still there
09:51cole was on the couch
09:52he did not look at me
09:53when i walked in
09:55we played that game
09:56for three days
09:57i ate out
09:58he ate out
09:59the dishes grew mold
10:00the trash started to smell
10:01finally i heard him on the phone again
10:03but this time
10:04it was with his mom
10:06mom you will not believe what she is doing
10:08she left the dishes for three days
10:10they are growing stuff
10:12the kitchen smells like a dumpster
10:14and she only washes her own clothes now
10:17she will not even touch mine
10:18silence on carol's end
10:20mom
10:22cole
10:23why are not you doing them
10:25what
10:27the dishes
10:28the laundry
10:29why are not you doing them
10:30you live there too
10:31don't you
10:31but
10:33i don't know how
10:34carol laughed
10:35she actually laughed
10:38you are 34 years old
10:40and you do not know how to run a dishwasher
10:41i did not raise you that stupid
10:44mom
10:44and another thing
10:45you said brianna should wash your clothes
10:48last time i checked
10:49you make 60,000 a year
10:50she makes 90
10:52who is supposed to be providing for who here
10:54cole hung up
10:56i walked away smiling
10:59the next day
11:00cole came to me with a new plan
11:02i am not giving you money for groceries anymore
11:05since you will not cook for me
11:07we will just buy our own stuff
11:09he thought he had me
11:11okay
11:11i said
11:12he blinked
11:13okay
11:15yeah
11:16okay
11:17he did not know that i had been saving for years
11:20that i had a secret account with $40,000 in it
11:22my parents had offered to let me move back in anytime
11:26but sure
11:26cut me off
11:27see how that works
11:29i packed a bag for me and jason that night
11:32and drove to my parents house in naperville
11:34closer to my job anyway
11:35cole texted me at 11 p.m
11:38you coming home
11:38i did not reply
11:39he called at 8 a.m
11:41ignored
11:41he called at noon
11:43ignored
11:45after a month
11:48he showed up at my parents door with flowers and a box of donuts
11:55brianna
11:56come on
11:58i leaned against the door frame
12:01this is ridiculous
12:03you cannot just live with your parents forever
12:07is the house clean
12:08he shifted his weight
12:11i mean
12:12it is fine
12:13are the dishes done
12:18some of them
12:19some of them
12:19the laundry
12:21he did not answer
12:22i pulled a piece of paper from my back pocket
12:28sign this
12:29he looked down
12:30is that a divorce petition
12:31yep
12:32yep his face went pale
12:33you are joking
12:34this is insane
12:35over dishes
12:36i am not
12:38over three years of dishes
12:40over you treating me like a maid
12:42over you telling your friend you only married me because i got pregnant
12:46i heard that by the way
12:47i smiled
12:48sign
12:48he went white
12:49cole left without signing
12:51hired a cleaning service to scrub the whole house
12:53cost him 400 bucks
12:55sent me photos
12:55see
12:56clean
12:57happy now
12:58i did not answer
12:59he even mowed me five thousand dollars
13:00monthly allowance
13:01and i will do all the housework
13:03just come home
13:03my parents started in on me
13:05he is trying honey
13:07think of jason
13:08he needs his father
13:11so i went back
13:12and for a while
13:14it was good
13:14cole did dishes
13:15cooked dinner
13:16put jason to bed
13:19did not look at his phone at meals
13:20i thought maybe
13:22just maybe
13:23he had actually changed
13:24then i found out why
13:25he had been laid off
13:26tech company
13:27mass layoffs
13:28cole was not exactly a star performer
13:30so bye bye
13:31he had been going to work
13:32every day for two weeks
13:33coffee shops
13:34the library
13:35a park bench
13:35he was pretending
13:36i did not say anything at first
13:38just watched
13:39and i noticed something interesting
13:41the second he got a new job
13:42mark hooked him up
13:43with something
13:43less money
13:44but still a paycheck
13:45the good behavior
13:46started slipping
13:47trash did not go out
13:48dishwasher did not get loaded
13:50one night i came home
13:51and found the same laundry
13:53in the washer
13:53i had put in that morning
13:54cole
13:55the laundry
13:56yeah yeah
13:57i came back two hours later
13:59same clothes
14:00cole
14:03i heard you
14:05i did not say anything
14:06i went upstairs
14:08that is when i started
14:10throwing things away
14:10not dramatically
14:11just quietly
14:12dishes he did not wash
14:14straight into the trash bag
14:15clothes he left in the washer
14:16too long
14:18garbage
14:19one week
14:20he asked me where all the plates went
14:22i threw them away
14:24you what
14:25they were dirty for three days
14:27neither of us washed them
14:28so i threw them out
14:30you are insane
14:32no
14:33i am done
14:34then he noticed his work polos
14:36were missing
14:37where are my shirts
14:38mold
14:40trash
14:41are you serious right now
14:43you threw away
14:44my clothes
14:45because i forgot to switch the dryer
14:48one time
14:49one time
14:49cole
14:50it has been three years
14:52you forget every single time
14:54at some point
14:55it is not forgetting
14:57it's choosing
14:58i work all day
14:59i am tired when i come home
15:01oh really
15:02you work all day
15:04how many hours cole
15:0540
15:05i work 40 hours too
15:06plus the two hours of commuting
15:08plus the cooking
15:09plus the cleaning
15:10plus the child here
15:11you know how many hours
15:12that adds up to
15:13about 80
15:13i work 80 hours a week
15:14to your 40
15:15and you are tired
15:17he did not have an answer
15:19i filed for divorce
15:20not separation
15:21not taking a break
15:23divorce
15:24cole told everyone
15:25i was being dramatic
15:26my own parents told me
15:28to give him another chance
15:29you are breaking up a family
15:31over dirty dishes
15:32no
15:33i am breaking up a family
15:35over a husband
15:35who will not be a partner
15:37carol called me
15:38i am so sorry sweetheart
15:40this is my fault
15:41i babied him his whole life
15:43i never made him do anything
15:44and now he thinks
15:46it is someone else's job
15:47it is not your fault carol
15:49do not you dare defend me
15:51i raised a son
15:52who thinks women exist
15:53to serve him
15:54you deserve better
15:56leave him
15:57so i did
15:57rented a two bedroom apartment
15:59near the train station
16:00took jason
16:01bought new plates from target
16:02cole refused to sign
16:05i took him to court
16:06the mediator was a woman
16:07in her 60s
16:08so he does not do housework
16:10that is it
16:11that is it
16:12honey
16:13men are like that
16:14you just have to work around it
16:16do you work around it
16:17does your husband do housework
16:19she pursed her lips
16:20and did not answer
16:21cole started crying
16:22in the mediation room
16:25i will change
16:26i promise
16:27just give me one more chance
16:29no
16:30first court hearing
16:32the judge looked at my petition
16:33and actually frowned
16:34ma'am
16:36you want to end a marriage
16:37because your husband
16:38does not load the dishwasher
16:40yes your honor
16:41he says he will change
16:43why not give him another chance
16:44because he will not
16:46we have done this before
16:47he changes for a few weeks
16:49then goes right back
16:50i am not spending the rest of my life
16:52begging a grown man
16:53to wash a plate
16:55marriage is about compromise
16:58the judge shook his head
16:59compromise requires two people
17:01i have been the only one
17:03compromising for three years
17:04he denied the petition
17:06i refiled
17:07denied again
17:08the judge said
17:09separation period
17:11come back in a year
17:12so i waited
17:16cole showed up at my apartment
17:17every week
17:18took jason to the park
17:19brought me coffee
17:21he washed my new dishes
17:22when he came over
17:23but i knew
17:24i knew
17:25he was performing
17:26and the second i let him back in
17:28the performance would stop
17:29a year later i filed again
17:32this time cole signed
17:34you are really doing this
17:36over dishes
17:37over a thousand tiny cuts cole
17:40over being invisible in my own home
17:42over waking up every day
17:43next to someone who does not respect me
17:45he signed
17:4930 day waiting period
17:50we went to the courthouse on a tuesday
17:52jason was with my mom
17:57cole looked at me one last time
17:58you sure
18:00i have never been more sure of anything
18:02an hour later we walked out with final papers
18:05cole laughed
18:06a sad hollow laugh
18:07my buddy mark got divorced because he cheated
18:09another guy i know got divorced because he gambled away their savings
18:12i am getting divorced because i did not do the laundry
18:14that is really what it is going to say
18:16irreconcilable differences regarding household chores
18:18i shrugged
18:20sounds about right
18:21he drove away in his honda civic
18:22i walked to the train
18:23the sun was out
18:24the sky was blue
18:25i felt lighter than i had felt in years
18:28i pulled out my phone and texted my mom
18:29it is done
18:30she sent back a sad face emoji
18:32then carol texted
18:35congratulations sweetheart
18:36you did the right thing
18:37now go live your life
18:38i smiled
18:39that night i made dinner for just me and jason
18:42mac and cheese his favorite
18:43and roasted broccoli
18:44we ate at the kitchen table
18:46no phones
18:46no videos
18:47no one ignoring us
18:48mommy
18:49ketchup on his chin
18:50come out baby
18:51are you happy
18:53i looked around my little apartment
18:54my dishes
18:55my table
18:56my son
18:56yeah baby
18:57i am happy
18:58he grinned and went back to his mac and cheese
19:00best dinner i had had in years
19:02i don't know
19:02at times
19:02it was a bit of money
19:03everybody was picked up
19:03but there had been a lot of yours
19:03and i tried to play
Comments