- 21 hours ago
Rivals Season 1 Episode 1 Engsub
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Short filmTranscript
00:10You
00:36This is your captain speaking. Keep your eyes on the board. We're about to go supersonic.
01:17Did we break the sound barrier? Sorry, Mr. Camper Black. I didn't know it was you in there.
01:30To love and see the signs. But you can't read. Running at a different speed. Your heart beats. A double
01:42time. Another kiss.
01:47Enjoying your flight, Rupert? Tony Battingham. Do you know B.T. Johnson from The Scorpion?
01:54Oh, no. But I hear great things. Did the Prime Minister give you permission to fuck a journalist in the
02:00on-board toilet?
02:01Lou, Tony, don't be plebeian. B.T.'s ghosting my memoirs. No way to believe in laying one's ghost.
02:07Oh, B.T., what's your angle? Champion show jumper put out to pasture. Now a powerless backbench politician casting round
02:15for his next hobby.
02:16Never quite achieving the success he once had.
02:20What are you doing in New York? Whoring yourself round advertisers? You know, if you don't start spending some of
02:25that fortune you're coining on making decent television, you're going to lose your business.
02:29Very much in hand. Just recruited a hot shit young producer.
02:33Who?
02:33Mm. Cameron Cook.
02:35Never heard of him.
02:38You are desperate to work for Cronium. Bit my hand off in vain.
02:43I hope it didn't bleed on your nice suit.
02:47Maybe when we head back, too.
03:13Oh, my God.
03:37Oh, my God.
03:49Drug use. Pornography. Easier divorce. Rampant. Homosexuality.
03:53Recent studies have shown that HIV isn't exclusively a homosexual disease, Deputy Prime Minister.
03:59Oh, but loveless rutting.
04:01The promiscuous encounters that characterize a Saturday night in Soho,
04:05those are the preconditions for this virus, which threatens...
04:08The precondition, Deputy Prime Minister, is the Victorian conservatism of the Tory government,
04:13which is narrow-minded, hypocritical, and quite frankly, cruel.
04:16And cut there. Thank you. Ready to go again.
04:19He can say gay sex is loveless rutting, but I can't make a small comment about the government.
04:23BBC editorial policy, Declan. Sorry, Deputy Prime Minister.
04:27We're going again.
04:28Cue Declan.
04:32Mr. Stratton, yourself and Mrs. Stratton have been married, what, 15 years?
04:3715 in April.
04:38Yeah, three children, a wife, a mistress, and an all-consuming job.
04:42It must be difficult to juggle everything.
04:46What?
04:47Although your wife, Winifred, has been staying at her family's Pimbleco apartment,
04:51which must have made it easier for you to spend time with your, uh...
04:5529-year-old secretary, Miss Sarah Price,
04:58who proudly told our researchers that you have the girth and stamina
05:02to compete with any championship racehorse.
05:04Is that a fair comment to make, sir?
05:05I, uh, well, the...
05:07CUT! CUT!
05:09I would look to your own glass house, Deputy Prime Minister,
05:11before you start throwing rocks at others.
05:13Look, Declan, if we could just do another take without the slant...
05:15Fuck off, Alistair!
05:17Fuck!
05:18Frick!
05:21Fuck!
05:24Frank!
05:25I've got to close this.
05:26I've got to close this.
05:27I've got to close this.
05:28I've got to close this.
05:48I don't know whose bloomers are more of a twist tonight, aren't they,
05:51to the Prime Minister's.
05:52We both know that the BBC won't show tonight's episode.
05:55I've said it before, Lord Bandingham, I'm happy here.
05:58And I'm not interested in commercial television.
06:02I've got to close this.
06:03Oh.
06:05Oh.
06:07Oh.
06:08Oh.
06:20I'm offering you freedom.
06:22I saw your interview with Reagan.
06:24I bet they hacked out some caulkers.
06:27We'd put you out live.
06:31Live?
06:32Complete editorial control.
06:35Skew of the bastards on air.
06:36It's halfway around the world before anyone's got a chance to complain.
06:40The satellite's coming.
06:42We're going global.
06:44It's exciting.
06:47You're all stuck here with a load of librarians.
06:51When you could be an astronaut.
06:58I'd have to persuade Maude.
07:02Massive house from the country.
07:03She'd love it.
07:04It's a Wicklow man like you doing it in Fulham.
07:07Dodging litter and dog shit.
07:08Come to the Coswolds.
07:11Even I have to win sometimes how fucking pretty the place is.
07:20Little signing bonus.
07:22Declan, come on.
07:24You've been paid peanuts to get bloodless interviews with one hand tied behind your back.
07:29It's the golden age of television.
07:33You're missing the game.
08:01But what you've got is all so sweet.
08:05You've got to make it hot.
08:09That's a whole leg I need to repeat.
08:13Give me all your lovin', all your hugs and kisses to the heat.
08:19You've got to make it hot.
08:21Give me all your lovin', don't let up until me
08:29You gotta whip it up
08:33And hit me like a ton of lead
08:37If I blow my top
08:40Daddy's hand
08:41Will you let it blow in your head?
08:45Give me all your lovin'
08:47All your hugs and kisses too
08:54Give me all your lovin', don't let up until we do
09:05Hello, darling. How was your day?
09:07Extremely successful.
09:09Sorry I landed on you again.
09:11Yes, we do have other lawyers.
09:46Here we are, girls.
09:47Yes, the priory.
09:50Caitlin, we're here.
09:51What?
09:52We're here, we're here, look.
09:53We're here.
09:59Oh my god.
10:22Exciting things are gonna happen to us in a place like this.
10:24Amazing.
10:26Woo!
10:27Rachel, go.
10:28That's the best room.
10:29I don't know.
10:30The prettiest prison I ever saw.
10:56get out of this place.
10:59Get out of this town.
11:01Get out of this town.
11:08Jehovah's Witness
11:08Oh, fuck, she's seen us
11:12Oh, you'll have to go down
11:13What? Why me?
11:14I'm on the lookout
11:15For him
11:16Oh, my God
11:16Soviet officials have announced that 79 bodies have been recovered and nearly 320 people are missing after Soviet cruise ship
11:28sank in the bed
11:29Door!
11:31Hello
11:32I just wanted to welcome you to...
11:34Oh, no, no, thank you
11:36We're not on the best of terms with Jehovah in this house
11:40Daddy, just shut the door
11:41Oh, it's not mine
11:42I found it on a lawn
11:44New English
11:45Is it the New English Bible?
11:47Yes
11:47Daddy says it's a literary abomination
11:49He must have thrown it out the window
11:51I'm Lizzie
11:52I live down the valley
11:53I bought you a bottle and some eggs
11:56Well, you'll open this now
11:57Okay
11:59Come on in
12:01We haven't found the wine glasses yet
12:04Tell us the second post here
12:06Oh, there isn't a second post
12:08Taggy lost her virginity this summer to one of her son Patrick's university friends
12:12He's in the south of France right now and not writing many postcards
12:16Mummy
12:16Oh, it must be so lonely for Rupert now he's not show jumping
12:19And the only thing that persuaded Caitlin to leave all her friends in London
12:22Was the thought of living opposite Rupert Campbell Black
12:25I want him to ravish me
12:27He's a middle-aged MP, Caitlin
12:29Well, I'm so cross
12:30I'm off to boarding school and won't get the first crack at him
12:32He's bountiful for Taggy
12:33Or even Mummy
12:34How well do you know him?
12:36Oh, I'm not sure anyone really knows Rupert
12:38But we're friends
12:40So not carnally then?
12:42I'm one of the few women around here who hasn't been ravished by Rupert
12:45Is your husband Fiercely Protective
12:49Oh, that's my novel
12:52I wrote it
12:53Have you read it?
12:54Oh, no, Taggy doesn't read
12:56She's dyslexic
12:57For a long time we thought she was retarded
12:59Oh, he took what he wanted
13:01I loved this
13:03Talk about getting ravished
13:05Isn't there a very naughty bit with some duck leaves?
13:09Oh
13:13Yeah, the fight is quite old
13:15Have you got another one coming out?
13:16Well, what with the children and my husband
13:18I don't find much time to write nowadays
13:20Tag, Vanita shirt
13:22And some fucking socks
13:25Oh, Daddy, that's Lizzie
13:27I live just down the valley
13:28She writes dirty books
13:29Nice to meet you, Caitlin
13:30You're wearing my socks
13:31Well, they're warmer than time
13:32Sorry, still unpacking
13:33Thanks, love
13:34How easy is it to find help, aren't you?
13:36We are not forking out for a cleaner
13:39Well, stealing a woman's help around here
13:41Is worse than stealing her husband
13:42What if you stole both?
13:47That's Grant, Taggy
13:48Right, I am going to buy
13:5030 pairs of socks in such a disgusting colour
13:53That none of you will ever pinch them again
13:55Nice to meet you, Lizzie
13:56Good luck, Daddy
13:57Give them help
13:57All right, let's get smashed
14:01Woo, welcome to Racha
14:13A man walks down the street
14:14He says, why am I soft in the middle now
14:17Why am I soft in the middle
14:18The rest of my life is so hard
14:20I need a photo opportunity
14:22I want a shot of redemption
14:24Don't want to end up a cartoon
14:26In a cartoon graveyard
14:27Bone-dibber, bone-dibber
14:29Get these months away from me, you know
14:31I don't find this stuff on music
14:33If you be my bodyguard
14:37I can be your long, long crowd
14:42I can call you Betty
14:44Betty, when you call me
14:46You can call me out
14:50A man walks down the street
14:52He says, why am I short of attention?
14:54Got a short little span of attention
14:56Oh, my nights are so long
14:58Where's my wife and family?
15:00What if I die here?
15:01Who'll be my role model?
15:03Now that my role model is gone, gone
15:06You duck back down the alley
15:08With some roly-poly little bat-faced girl
15:11All along, along
15:14There were incidents and accidents
15:16There were hints and allegations
15:20If you'll be my bodyguard
15:26Declan, hi
15:26Yeah
15:27There he is!
15:28I'll see you!
15:29Okay
15:30What the fuck?
15:34Just a man of the people
15:36Don't be jealous, James
15:37At least he won't steal your sunbed
15:39He's tall, isn't he?
15:40Standing next to a very short car
15:42I saw him in Pensacom
15:43I think he looks a lot older in the flesh
15:45Thank you, dear James
15:46Who's producing him?
15:47Cameron
15:47It's factual, not drama
15:49Why does Cameron get all the good stuff?
15:50I really can't think
15:53Declan, how much are they paying you?
15:55Why do you leave the BBC, Declan?
15:56Come on, Declan, give us a smile
15:57Alright, alright, thanks, lads
15:59That's your laugh
15:59Give her the fuck out of here
16:01This way?
16:01Yep, mate
16:02You've got the paddy among the pigeons, haven't you?
16:04Who says no blacks, no Irish?
16:05I'm a one-man
16:06Equal opportunities revolution, Ginger
16:09What's that point?
16:12I'm a journalist, not a celebrity
16:14I ask the questions
16:16It's Declan, you're higher
16:18Yes
16:19Sorry, let's go
16:20Where the fuck is this Cameron guy I'm supposed to report to?
16:24Jesus, you don't just ambush someone
16:26I'm a serious fucking journalist
16:29I don't discuss my career with the Scorpion
16:31Shit, sure
16:36Come in
16:43Where is he?
16:47Take a seat, Declan
16:51What, you're...
16:52Cameron Cook
16:55You were expecting a man
16:57Possibly queer, which you would have endured
16:59But certainly not a woman
17:00And God forbid a black one
17:02I thought you were a publicity girl
17:03No, I'm a producer-y woman
17:05Listen, I'm not...
17:07Prejudice?
17:07Of course not
17:08You're an asshole to everyone
17:10This isn't gonna work, Tony
17:12It's not a chat show
17:13It's a serious program
17:14I want to produce a serious program too
17:16But there are ways of calling the audience
17:17A sofa with cushions
17:19You've seen the set design then
17:20I know my audience, Tony
17:23A fucking sofa
17:24You might listen to Cameron
17:26NBC howled when I poached her
17:27Oh
17:28Do you know Charles Fairbairn?
17:30Controller of programs
17:31Declan
17:33We knew each other at the beam
17:34Look, um...
17:36Fatter
17:36I don't miss the canteen at the BBC, darling
17:38And Gingerbread
17:39Head of operations
17:43I'm sorry, Tony
17:44I produce myself
17:46I've got Johnny Friedlander flying over
17:48For your first interview
17:49Johnny Friedlander, the film star
17:50No, Johnny Friedlander, my Dennis
17:52I don't interview actors
17:54Friedlander doesn't give interviews
17:55Not since the sex tape
17:56They're saying it could be the next Bond
17:58They'll have trouble replacing Roger
18:00I've been speaking to Jackie Kennedy
18:01She'll just blabber on about her old
18:03Boring publishing job
18:04No, she wants to talk about life
18:06As a single American woman, actually
18:08You could learn something, Cameron
18:10Look, you two lock horns
18:11If it turns you on
18:12But don't forget
18:12I hired you both because you can get ratings
18:15So let's pull together and get them, yes?
18:17The BBC have put top of the pops
18:19Against us in the schedule
18:21So you need to be more popular than Jimmy Savile
18:23Johnny Friedlander is a global mega star
18:25And he hasn't given an interview in five years
18:26People will watch this
18:28Book Jockey for the next one
18:37Okay, fine
18:39But I do my own research
18:42And no fucking sofa
18:46Give him whatever fucking furniture he wants, all right?
18:48We all know it's not about the sofa
18:49I don't need this shit, Tony
18:50You brought me here to produce drama
18:52Not a chat show
18:53I brought you here to be the cleverest person in the building
18:56And terrify the rest of them into pulling their socks up
18:58So far, so good
18:58You're a lion in a petting zoo
19:00But we need big game like Declan
19:02To convince the IBA to renew our contract
19:05We lose the franchise
19:06There won't be any drama to produce
19:07You'll be on the next boat back
19:11I didn't come here on a boat
19:13Forgive me, semantics
19:14I flew here on fucking Concord
19:17I paid for the ticket
19:20Worth every penny
19:39It's gorgeous
19:40Yes
19:41There are badger sets up at the top there
19:44And in spring
19:45The bluebells flamed
19:47Between the beach trees
19:48Like little hunts and burners
19:51Sorry, I sound like an estate agent
19:53I just can't believe this is all ours
19:54Well, only to the bottom of the wood
19:56And then Rupert will have you for trespassing
20:00Thank you for walking me back
20:03I'm really quite pissed
20:08It's like Rupert's back home
20:11Caitlin will be scaling the wall
20:13Caitlin's all talk
20:14She's sworn off and married until she's at least 35
20:16She's got too much to do, she says
20:19And you?
20:21With parents like yours, you must have big plans
20:24Oh, I'd like to be a cook
20:26But following recipes and writing things down
20:28I don't know what to do with myself, really
20:31How old are you? 19?
20:3220
20:34Your whole life ahead of you
20:37It's 1986
20:39You can have whatever you want
20:42So Cosmo tells us
20:48Back into battle
20:50How many children do you have?
20:52Two
20:52Three, counting my husband
20:54He works for Corineum too
20:56Yeah, you didn't say
20:57I talk about my husband as little as possible
21:00He does enough of that himself
21:04I'm coming to get you
21:10I'm coming to get you
21:11I'm coming to get you
21:14You can't catch me
21:15Hello?
21:17What's going on?
21:34Oh my God
21:35There's fire
21:36Oh, there's fire!
21:38Oh!
21:49Oh, come on
22:12Fire!
22:18Fire!
22:19Fire!
22:20It's on fire!
22:21Dead fold
22:22It turns to at least six inches over the line
22:24Well, you can't fold then
22:25You're at least ten inches over the line
22:27Ah!
22:28Ah!
22:29Ah!
22:30Ah!
22:33Don't be shy, darling
22:36Your fields are on fire
22:39And
22:40It's the quickest way to get rid of the stubble after the harvest
22:43Could you
22:45So you separated them on purpose?
22:47Sorry
22:49Who the fuck are you and why are you here?
22:51What about the animals?
22:52The rabbits and voles and birds?
22:53Yes, and the lovely ickle earwig
22:55Should I stop ploughing my fields because it's cruel to wood lice?
22:57You're murdering them
22:58Do you want me to give them a state funeral?
23:00Ah
23:03What the hell?
23:05Ah, I called the fire brigade
23:09Get off my land before I call the police as well
23:12And take that brute back to its pigsty
23:16You are utterly abhorrent
23:28Well, I was born an original sinner
23:32I was born from original sin
23:36And if I had a dollar bill
23:38For all the things I've done
23:40There'd be a mountain of money piled up to my chin
23:43Gentlemen, you ordered a full body Argentine
23:46And the wine, Basil
23:47Yes
23:48Have you tried this one before?
23:49It's very, very nice
23:51I'm assuming we're on expenses
23:53Baz enjoys helping you spend corinneal money
23:56I do
23:57Oh
23:58Oh, wonderful
23:59Now, I must say
24:00I loved your coverage of the royal wedding, Charles
24:02Thank you, Baz
24:03Andrew and Fergie are a modern-day fairytale
24:06Well, you know what they say about redheads
24:08Enjoy, chaps
24:10That's Tony's bro
24:11Half-brother
24:13He got a good half
24:14The mother had a scandalous fling with an Argentinian polo player
24:17Basil was the result
24:19As was always the favourite with Daddy
24:21Despite his dubious origins
24:24And poor Tony just never managed to catch on
24:27Is he all a grudge?
24:28Tony, darling
24:29He cultivates them like rare orchids
24:31Artists
24:32Tony cultivates artists
24:34You're in safe hands
24:35We're so lucky to have such a strong leader at the helm
24:38Hello, Archie
24:39I'll have the...
24:42Liver and marmalade
24:44And a radicchio salad
24:46And for you, sir?
24:48Steak
24:48Still mooing
24:57Tony's son
24:58Working here for the summer holidays
25:00Teaching his children the value of money
25:03And tell me, is Cameron Cook as big a bitch as she seems?
25:07She is a genius
25:12So we ripped up the treatment
25:14Aged all the characters down ten years
25:17And gave them some desire
25:18The men were all dickless
25:20So I said to Tony
25:21Our audience wants to fantasize
25:23About being banged over the sink while doing the dishes
25:26And four men went to mow
25:28Is now the top rated network drama of the year
25:31Looking good, boys
25:32I smell like Sunday lunch
25:34You look delicious
25:34Everybody
25:35This is Lady Gosling
25:37Chairwoman of the Independent Broadcasting Authority
25:39Best behavior, everyone
25:42And this is the Declan set
25:44Yes, very impressive
25:45You're rather impressive, aren't you?
25:48Where did Tony find you?
25:50New York
25:50Ah
25:51August 26, 1970
25:53I marched with Gloria Steinem
25:56On the women's strike for equality
25:58My mom was on that march
26:01Don't iron while the strike is hot
26:04I think you'll be pleased with the efforts we've made to address your concern
26:07I am not your Barbie doll
26:11And Declan O'Hara's presence on the Carinium team
26:13It just nudges that political dial leftwards
26:16And the board
26:17If you want to hang on to your franchise
26:19Then Carinium's board needs strengthening
26:21Well
26:22Have you thought of Rupert Campbell Black?
26:26Rupert's presence would give you legitimacy, Anthony
26:29I don't like taking people's franchises away
26:32But Rupert would give Carinium real sparkle
26:35I want to be convinced that I'm backing the right horse
26:39Tell me more about your mother
26:42My mother's into fallacies
26:43Really?
26:44Oh, my people
26:51I mean
26:53They don't tell you when you leave the BBC
26:55Yes, there's a lot more money on independent television
26:58But you're going up against 14 other regional companies
27:01Just like you
27:03And then there's franchise renewal
27:04But that's, what, once every five years?
27:07Yeah, but the anxiety is constant
27:08Because some other company can just waltz in
27:11And take your franchise away
27:13We may not have had biscuits at the BBC
27:15But all we had to do was make television
27:18Do you think I made the wrong move?
27:20Oh, no
27:21Granada have Coronation Street
27:22LWT has Blind Date
27:25Carinium now has you
27:27You're the golden goose, darling
27:28Say it back
27:29And let Tony fucking fatten you up
27:34The foie gras is the vine here, by the way
27:42But...
27:56Oh...
28:02I wish I was coming, too
28:03I've only been invited
28:04So I can drive Mummy and Daddy home and then drunk
28:06Oh, you've already met Rupert
28:07It's not fair
28:09He's always Willy
28:09He's vile
28:11Oh, that journalist is so lucky to be shagging him
28:15What are you looking for?
28:16Oh, the bright blue mini
28:20Do you think it's going to happen again?
28:22What?
28:24Mummy
28:28Now we're here, I quite want to stay
28:30Taggy!
28:32Oh, let's go!
28:36What?
28:37You're wearing Taggy's dress?
28:39Uh, I wore this to Bono's Christmas party
28:41It was mine then, too
28:42Oh, you're so touchy these days
28:44Look, we are going to go and meet the most wonderful people this afternoon
28:48I'm excited
28:52Leaving London's going to be good for her and Daddy, isn't it?
28:56It will be
28:59I'll be okay
29:00I promise
29:01How to do this?
29:27Oh, my God!
29:29Oh, my God!
29:31On the right side of Montego Bay
29:48Well done, darling. Great turnout again, I must say.
29:53As I've told them to up the proportion of orange juice in the Bugsville
29:57until everyone plastered like last year.
30:00So, which one is it you want for your board?
30:03Is it the electronics millionaire chap?
30:05Freddie Jones. It's over there with a touch.
30:09I'll get him onto satellite technology.
30:11You can ask her if she's made any friends in the area yet.
30:14She's opened a boutique in Colchester,
30:16so you should offer to pop in and buy something.
30:20Hmm. Is Miss Cook coming?
30:25Couldn't drag her away from the studio.
30:28Declan goes live in a matter of days.
30:30And here's our star!
30:36Ah!
30:38You're even more beautiful in the flesh, Mrs. O'Hara.
30:54If you say so.
30:56So, please, you could make it, Basil.
30:57Declan, let me show you off to some board members.
31:00Why don't we get you a drink?
31:02You were wonderful as Lady McBeck.
31:17I'm not going to Lord B's party.
31:19Hmm.
31:20I turned Tony down. Not my kind of crowd.
31:22Is that the only reason?
31:25What other reason would there be?
31:29I want your opinion.
31:30I'm not paid to have opinions.
31:32Mm-hmm.
31:33Now, I agreed to ditch the sofa, but why a desk?
31:36It's not a news anchor.
31:37Perhaps he wants to hide behind it.
31:39Huh.
31:40It's not because he hasn't got good legs.
31:42I've looked.
31:44Mm-hmm.
31:47Steve, move the desk off the set for a minute.
31:49Declan asked for the desk.
31:50Yeah, I want to see it without the desk.
31:51It's just we built the desk.
31:52I'm not telling you to burn a damn thing.
31:54I'm telling you to move it so I can see the set.
31:55Can you do that?
31:56All right. Keep your way going.
31:59That's funny.
32:01You know what isn't funny?
32:03Looking for another fucking job!
32:08Is that it?
32:15It's better.
32:16See?
32:17It's better.
32:24Oh, Rupert's arrived.
32:34Really?
32:35That's Gerald.
32:36Rupert's aide.
32:38We go way back.
32:41Where's your gorgeous Lord and Martha?
32:43He's not here.
32:44Oh, damn it.
32:45I have a pile of papers for him to sign,
32:46and I can only pin him down at parties.
32:48You can pin me down later, if you like.
32:54Follow wrong.
32:56Actually, I think I might just...
33:00Lizzie!
33:02Lizzie!
33:03Um, I think the mum wants you.
33:06He doesn't want me.
33:08That's my husband.
33:10It's all right.
33:20That's all right.
33:31Thank you, darling.
33:33I feel like I should be reading the news.
33:34Um, fortunately we have the wonderful James Verica to do that instead.
33:39Um, now, you know what, I won't keep it from your lunch,
33:41uh, but I'm very glad to have you all here
33:43to celebrate Carinium's newest star with me.
33:47Ladies and gentlemen, Declan O'Hara.
33:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
33:55Declan joins Carinium, of course, on the crest of a wave.
33:58Uh, wonderful ratings for our prestige drama,
34:01Four Men Went to Mow.
34:03Who knew arable farming could be so sexy?
34:06Uh, and with revenue from our sales to America,
34:10we are confident that this is going to be
34:13our most successful autumn ever!
34:16LAUGHTER
34:17Jumped over six full grown men!
34:21LAUGHTER
34:26Oh, my God, it's him.
34:28So sorry, sorry.
34:30Didn't mean to steal your thunder.
34:32No fire engines with you today.
34:34LAUGHTER
34:36Um, please, uh, go on to your speech.
34:39Oh, hello, darling.
34:41Hello.
34:41Um, but, Declan, you are, undoubtedly,
34:45the jewel in the Carinium crown.
34:48And I know everyone here joins me in welcoming you,
34:51your wife, Maud, and your daughter, Agatha,
34:54to our Cotchester family.
34:56Declan O'Hara, ladies and gentlemen.
35:05Lunch, everybody!
35:08Good lunch.
35:11I'm happy, mate.
35:16Is it loving in your eyes all the way?
35:23If I listen to your lies, would you say?
35:29I am a man...
35:32What about all this... all this food?
35:40people are always saying you should write a book mrs. Jones you've led such a fascinating life
35:45how funny people are always telling me I should open a shop so where have you moved to which is
35:53green lawns it's a lovely house now we've added the extension and double glazed over those draft
35:57your windows those Victorians must have worn a lot of jumpers very good but the only house I know
36:05around that's bottom of the court and green lawn sounded so much prettier especially now we've
36:09a landscape the garden no tatties Fred Fred Lord Baddingham is wearing my Fred Fred for his
36:18board I'm encouraging him to get more cultures we could do with a few more caring wives of career
36:26please call me mouth thing out of my friends do she can't find some way to let's now see you
36:34move
36:34onto something soft darling we don't want the hump ball again I do so enjoy your couple my husband
36:43tells me you're one of the most powerful men in England yeah I suppose I am and I expect to
36:49turn out a few potatoes one potato two potato three shall we find my booze hello Duncan I'll see you
37:04later we were all so surprised when you left the BBC for Carinium do you miss your integrity or do
37:11you feel lighter without it what was it the private eye called you the first not quite a lady of
37:16Fleet Street was it
37:24have you seen my mother around and I met a few athletes in my time they always get what they
37:32want
37:33And what do we want?
37:35To win.
37:36Well, sadly, I'm not showjumping anymore.
37:39Well, you're still athletic.
37:43You're certainly too disturbing to be living across the valley.
37:51Ah, there you are.
37:53Finally.
37:55Sure guy himself.
37:57Mr. Cumberblack.
37:59Getting to know the neighbors?
38:01Huh.
38:03Taggy, have you met Rupert?
38:05No, I think I'd remember.
38:08Agatha, that's my daughter.
38:09Taggy.
38:11I hear you did a hatchet job on poor Stratton.
38:14That I'd have loved to see.
38:16Mmm.
38:20She'll make a dent in Tony's whiskey collection.
38:25Why not?
38:41Are you hiding again?
38:43Well, they're just at the end of Das Rheingold.
38:45I need you out there with me.
38:47Bloody Rupert.
38:48I want to get this over with.
38:49You'll come here.
38:54Can't believe I'm going to him for legitimacy.
38:57All he did for his status was to be born into it.
38:59It's just social currency, darling.
39:01It's the way the world works.
39:02Public school, why?
39:03Well, should we send Archie to a comprehensive and save on the school fees?
39:07He'll only make you feel inferior if you give him permission.
39:11Now, deep breath.
39:12Shoulders back.
39:14Goodbye.
39:19Working the weekend?
39:20I hope Tony's paying you handsomely, Ginger.
39:24Come on, dogs.
39:26Took some digging, but I found these.
39:28I think you'll enjoy them.
39:30It's a little Declan O'Hara insurance.
39:57Peaceful is the country that is strongly earned.
40:00Oh, Baddingham family motto.
40:05Circa 1972.
40:10Lord Pop Pop, Tony's father, made his millions in munitions during the war.
40:16That's why Tony married Lady Monica of the Glen.
40:19He had Daddy's cash.
40:21Mon Mon had the house.
40:22And what Tony wants most of all, class.
40:28And why are the English so obsessed with class and money?
40:33Declan?
40:33I was only asking Mr. Cumberblog a correction, Lord.
40:37Rupert.
40:38You've met Declan, then?
40:39Anyone want another drink?
40:40Oh.
40:41You found one?
40:43Hmm.
40:44Steeds and Scotch.
40:45Did Monica choose it?
40:48Ignore us.
40:49Our families go back a long way.
40:51Not that far.
40:54Listen, can I have a word, Rupert, in private?
40:56A business proposition.
40:57Well, we're all friends here.
40:59Nothing you could say to me that dear Morty shouldn't hear?
41:02I am not drinking sherry with the wives while the men have all the fun.
41:06Oh, you want to be here when Tony asks me to be on his board?
41:17Well, all right.
41:20It's a lucrative game.
41:21I thought you wanted.
41:23It's so hard to take you seriously, Tony.
41:25You just always sound like you're playing Monopoly.
41:28Ha!
41:30The answer's no.
41:32Lady Gosling thinks I can give you some class,
41:34help you keep your franchise,
41:35but I'm not using my family name
41:37so you can buy yourself a bigger helicopter.
41:40Mm-mm.
41:42Uh, Tony, Paul Stratton's here.
41:45Ah!
41:48Sorry we're late, everyone.
41:50Bit of trouble getting out of bed, actually.
41:52Yeah, you know what newlyweds are like.
41:55Paul, mind yourself in those jeans.
41:57You bend over your eyes will pop out.
41:59And the new Mrs. Stratton.
42:01Now, you are a very welcome upgrade.
42:04Well done, Paul.
42:08Do you know Declan O'Hara?
42:09Oh, yes.
42:10Yeah.
42:11You did us all a favour, actually, Mr. O'Hara.
42:13Good to get everything out in the open.
42:15We're insanely happy.
42:16Aren't we, Paul?
42:17I'm a new man.
42:19Mm-hmm.
42:22Excuse me.
42:41I heard about you catching Campbell Black playing tennis in the Noddy.
42:47That's enough to upset anyone.
42:49Who knows about that?
42:52Well, the whole valley knows about the fire engines.
42:56And I know who the mystery woman was now.
42:59Don't I?
43:12I know who the mystery woman was now.
43:15Oh, my God.
43:18I know who the mystery man was.
43:22Oh, no.
43:23Dude, he's all a full-time.
43:25Oh, no.
43:25Oh, no.
43:26Oh, no.
43:53you know you're dancing with the devil don't you says the man who works for thatcher
43:58let's hope we've got rhythm
44:19oh in coming
44:23you bastard you've been shagging sarah stratton too
44:34it was only tennis
45:00fuck
45:17I'm going to ruin you
45:36I'm so sorry
45:38I wouldn't mind but
45:46that's my car
45:57so it's Rupert now is it?
45:59it was a conversation
46:00I was conversing
46:01you were all over him
46:02oh now I can't even talk to a man without you assuming that I'm after him
46:06oh grow up
46:07oh god I didn't ask to come here
46:09you're the one that took the check and just sold us all out
46:11yeah maude it's a horrible house and you live a terrible life
46:14well these are our people now
46:15oh my god they're all horses and dogs and houses and cars
46:19and who's got the longest feckin driveway
46:22oh my god the men are all desperate to ride anything as long as they're not married to it
46:26the wives
46:27jeez they haven't had an orgasm since
46:29pony club camp
46:38that's not us is it
46:43everyone was looking at you
46:45huh
46:47and did you like that
46:50oh god
46:51how much
46:51how much did you like that
46:54tell me
46:55oh my God
47:11mmm
47:12mmm
47:12mmm
47:12mmm
47:13mmm
47:25I don't know.
47:46I don't know.
48:21I don't know.
48:23Yes, fine.
48:26No, it was a buffet table.
48:31Of course.
48:32See you at 9am.
48:34Well, you have a good evening, Prime Minister.
48:42Come on, dogs.
48:44Daddy's in trouble again.
49:03Mummy and Daddy are clearly back on track.
49:05What's your foot there?
49:07Yeah.
49:09I think so.
49:19As she gazed at the Ocaseis with their burnished bohemian beauty, entering this world of unbridled passion, she worried.
49:29Little did Dermato Casey know that he had brought his family into the wild.
49:34Into a world of untamable beasts, giving in to their basest needs.
49:48Hungry for sex.
49:55Hungry for status.
50:00Hungry for love.
50:09Hungry for power.
50:12You know, Campbell Black is finished after today.
50:15Hungry for comfort.
50:16Hungry for falaты.
50:17Are you coming to bed?
50:18You had better be stopped while I'm gonna
50:20I think you're gonna get through that.
50:24Good dog. Good dog.
50:26Lie down.
50:34My eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.
50:50I just can't get enough.
50:54Because as seductive as his predators might be...
50:57...one should always beware of being eaten.
51:13My ass!
51:25this is a surprise the prime minister wasn't thrilled about seeing her
51:29ministers private lives splashed all over the papers Paul Stratton's been
51:33shuffled to the back benches oh dear have you lost your job not at all no no
51:38mrs. that has given me a promotion I'm her new minister for sport so thank you
51:46I couldn't have done it without you you had to come all this way to tell me that
51:53I need to keep your grubby little nose out of my affairs Maggie I'll see through
52:00you soon enough you overprivileged cunt I have to try harder than that if you
52:08want to beat me Lord Battingham
52:18come on
52:20okay
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