- 4 weeks ago
ESP El Último Adiós de Stella
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Short filmTranscript
00:06The summer I turned 18, Asher made me cross a line I could never take back.
00:10I bit my lip through the ache, glowing secretly all night,
00:13convinced that six long years of loving him from a distance had finally, finally paid off.
00:18Then the next morning, I heard his friend laughing outside the classroom door.
00:22Okay, okay. Got the nerd to give it up, huh?
00:25My face burned, and I turned to slip away before anyone saw me.
00:29I'm trying to get with Chloe, but she'd think I was too inexperienced.
00:33So I used Stella to get some practice in first.
00:35I didn't say a single word.
00:36I just quietly changed my college application from NYU to a school thousand miles away in California.
00:43His words hit me like a thunderclap out of a cloudless summer sky.
00:46No warning at all. My mind went completely blank.
00:49It was a scorching July afternoon, but I felt like ice was spreading through every inch of my body.
00:54The guys inside kept talking, pausing only for a half second before someone else piped up.
01:01Classic Ashen. Even Stella was just a warm-up for him.
01:03Everyone knows how hard it is to get into her pants.
01:09So what does that make her? Like, a practice dully?
01:13Asher just laughed it off.
01:16Relax. She got something out of it, too.
01:18I mean, Stella's cute and all, but compared to Chloe, yeah, no contest.
01:22Right.
01:24Asher threw a textbook at him to shut him up.
01:27It was just a vibe, okay? The moment happened, and honestly, she seemed like she was enjoying herself.
01:32The guys all exchanged knowing looks and started roasting him.
01:36Who knew the book bird was that freaky under all those cardigans?
01:40Bro, Asher's just built different.
01:42Why leave free food on the table, right?
01:44She's been chasing him for years.
01:46Technically, she got what she wanted.
01:48The laughter inside the room got noticeably louder.
01:51I pressed my teeth into my lower lips so hard I tasted copper.
01:54Both hands balled into white-knuckled fists.
01:56It took every single ounce of willpower I had to stay upright,
02:00to not just crumple right there in the doorway.
02:02Footsteps echoed down the hall toward me.
02:04I snapped back to reality and bolted, shoving my way blindly through the corridor.
02:09In my panic, I threw myself into the nearest bathroom stall
02:12and locked the door behind me.
02:18The tears came like a dam breaking, grief and humiliation pouring out all at once.
02:23Asher's words played on a loop inside my head, every single syllable.
02:27They shredded what little self-worth I had left.
02:29If I hadn't heard it with my own ears,
02:32I never could have believed that the guy talking in there
02:34was the same one who had held me like I was something precious just last night.
02:38Turns out, you don't actually need to love someone to do that with them.
02:41Turns out, you can look a girl dead in the eyes, make her feel everything,
02:45and still be lying through every single second of it.
02:48The thing I thought was my happily ever after was just a punchline someone else got to laugh at.
02:54The more I cried, the worse it got.
02:56But I couldn't make a sound.
02:57My whole body was shaking so hard I could barely breathe.
03:01A long time passed.
03:02My phone buzzed.
03:03It was Asher.
03:04Just grab an Uber back.
03:06My crew's got a party tonight, and it'd be awkward to bring you.
03:09I didn't reply.
03:10He sent a follow-up.
03:11Also, pick up a morning after pill yourself.
03:14I'm busy today.
03:15Don't forget to take it.
03:16Good girl.
03:16I stared at those two texts for a very, very long time without moving.
03:21From dusk until nearly sunrise,
03:23Asher had been relentless, like he had a point to prove.
03:26By the end, we were both completely wrecked,
03:28and right before he drifted off with his arms around me,
03:31he'd murmured the same thing twice.
03:33We weren't really prepared for your first time.
03:38I'll get you the pill first thing tomorrow morning.
03:41He'd even given me this little lecture about how girls needed to take care of themselves,
03:45said the morning after pill was really important,
03:48and that skipping it could mess up my body.
03:50And I had actually thought,
03:51This is it.
03:52He's the one.
03:53He's being so responsible.
03:55I finally got my person.
03:57And now, the clarity hit me like a slap.
04:00I dug my nails into my own palm until the pain forced the tears to stop.
04:04I wiped my face, straightened my glasses,
04:06and walked out of that bathroom like nothing had happened.
04:10I was too embarrassed to go to a real pharmacy,
04:12so I ordered the pill online instead.
04:14When the delivery guy left the package at my door,
04:17I waited another long stretch before I could even bring myself to go get it.
04:21I swallowed it with a mouthful of my own tears,
04:23and then I just sat down on the floor, staring at nothing, completely empty.
04:31Ever since Asher's family had moved next door to mine,
04:34I'd trailed after him like a shadow,
04:36and that had been ten years of my life.
04:38I had genuinely never stopped to think about what a world without him would even look like.
04:43I couldn't picture it,
04:44but starting right now,
04:45I was going to have to figure it out alone.
04:47Outside the floor-to-ceiling window,
04:49the neighborhood lights blinked on,
04:51one by one,
04:52and then off again.
04:53At some point,
04:54I really didn't know how long I'd been sitting there.
04:57Mia called me on FaceTime.
05:02Stella, why didn't you come to the party tonight with Ashler?
05:05That girl Chloe from the AP track is here, by the way.
05:08She has been all over him since you didn't show.
05:10It's actually disgusting.
05:11In the dark corner of the VIP booth,
05:13Asher and Chloe were sitting so close together,
05:16their thighs were touching.
05:17Chloe had worn a crop top and a curb-hugging miniskirt,
05:20long tan legs,
05:22tiny waist.
05:23Even the way they were talking looked more like whispering secrets than having a conversation.
05:28I could feel the charged energy between them through the screen.
05:31Something in my chest locked up.
05:33He'd only said he wanted to chase her this afternoon,
05:35and apparently,
05:37tonight was all the time he needed.
05:39The game switched to truth or dare,
05:41and Chloe drew a card that said,
05:45Do a push-up challenge with a guy hovering over me.
05:50Predictably,
05:51Asher volunteered before anyone else could open their mouth.
05:54Chloe blushed bright pink and lay back against the couch cushions.
05:57Asher planted his hands on either side of her.
06:00He was controlled the whole time,
06:02deliberately keeping his body from making contact with hers,
06:05until the very last one.
06:07His arms gave out,
06:08and his entire weight came down directly on top of her.
06:11The room erupted.
06:13Everyone screaming so loud,
06:15the walls practically shook.
06:16Asher's and Chloe's faces went even redder.
06:19With the whole crowd going absolutely feral around them,
06:22Asher just tilted his head down and kissed her.
06:24Not a quick peck,
06:25a full deep for the whole room to see kiss.
06:29Three full minutes before they finally pulled apart.
06:31For all three of those minutes,
06:33I sat completely frozen,
06:35eyes locked on the screen,
06:36barely remembering to breathe.
06:38I wanted to cry so badly.
06:41Oh my God,
06:42Stella,
06:42did you see that?
06:44He literally kissed her in front of everyone.
06:46He is so into her.
06:49Mia shook her head and stepped out of the booth,
06:51turning the camera as she went.
06:52Don't be mad at me.
06:53If I hadn't shown you,
06:55you never would have let yourself move on.
06:57I'm not mad at you.
06:59I'm only mad at myself for wasting so many years.
07:02I had always assumed that the spot beside Asher was mine,
07:05that it would always be mine.
07:07I am so done with him,
07:08Stella.
07:08Who does he think he is?
07:09Watching you love him for years,
07:11acting all innocent like he had no idea,
07:12just letting you fall deeper and deeper.
07:14You saw what I showed you.
07:16I'm not giving myself the chance.
07:18Mia,
07:19I've already decided I'm going to California with you.
07:22But you have to promise me
07:23you'll keep it quiet for now.
07:25Right after I said it,
07:26I flipped open my laptop right in front of her.
07:29Without a single second of hesitation,
07:31I changed my first choice school to the one in California,
07:34one minute before the deadline.
07:36Mia basically levitated off the ground.
07:38She'd been begging me for months
07:40to apply to the same school as her.
07:42But back when we started high school,
07:44Asher and I had made this pact.
07:46We'd work hard together
07:47and go to his dream school up in Boston after graduation.
07:50It had his aerospace engineering program,
07:52the one he'd been obsessed with since we were kids.
07:55So even though I didn't particularly love the idea of brutal winters,
07:58and even though that school was a technical institute
08:01that didn't even have my major,
08:03I'd spent three years treating it like my only option.
08:06Our families had lived next door to each other for so long
08:08that both sets of parents thought it was basically a done deal
08:11we'd end up at the same school.
08:13Everyone, including me,
08:15assumed Asher and I would just naturally become official
08:18once we got to college.
08:19But right now,
08:20I couldn't think of a single reason to still go to Boston.
08:23Because honestly,
08:24after today,
08:25if I kept following Asher around the way I always had,
08:28I would never be able to look myself in the mirror again.
08:31I just needed to go somewhere far away.
08:33It didn't even matter where,
08:35as long as he wasn't there.
08:36He was going east,
08:37so I was going west.
08:38Before bed,
08:40I filled the entire bathtub.
08:42I needed to scrub every inch of myself clean.
08:45But when I took off my clothes,
08:46the bruises on my skin were still so vivid,
08:49it made me flinch.
08:51The memories from last night rushed back before I could stop them.
08:54The burning heat of his skin pressed against mine.
08:57The sound of his breath ragged and warm against my ear.
09:01The ghost of it all still seemed to linger in the air around me.
09:04I shook my head hard,
09:06physically trying to shake myself free of it.
09:08Then I grabbed the roughest loofah I owned
09:10and scrubbed myself raw,
09:12over and over,
09:14until my whole body was flushed pink and singing.
09:17I was trying,
09:18clumsily,
09:19desperately,
09:20to erase what was officially
09:21the worst night of my entire life.
09:24The result was that the pain kept me awake the whole night anyway.
09:28Asher didn't text.
09:29For the first time in six years,
09:31ever since we both got phones,
09:33we didn't say goodnight to each other.
09:34That was fine.
09:35It was going to happen eventually anyway.
09:37Tonight was as good a time as any to start letting go.
09:40I didn't fall asleep until just before sunrise,
09:43drifting in and out of exhaustion.
09:45Early the next morning,
09:46while I was still buried in sleep,
09:48I felt,
09:49in that foggy space between dream and awake,
09:52the soft press of lips against my forehead.
09:55I jolted awake.
09:56The first thing my eyes landed on
09:58was a jaw I knew too well,
10:00and the soft dip of a throat right above me.
10:02The scent hit me next.
10:04Cedarwood.
10:04That cologne he always wore.
10:06And underneath it,
10:07the faintest trace of something new.
10:09Something citrusy that wasn't his.
10:12Right.
10:12I'd completely forgotten that Asher still knew my front door code.
10:16Seeing me awake,
10:17he shifted lower
10:18and tilted his face down toward my lips.
10:20I shoved him back with both hands
10:22and scrambled to the far edge of the bed.
10:23He blinked,
10:24then let out a short laugh like I'd surprised him.
10:29Since why are you shy?
10:30I didn't answer.
10:32I just yanked the blanket over my head
10:34and disappeared under it.
10:35Asher started talking.
10:39Stella, seriously.
10:40You didn't say goodnight,
10:41you turned your phone off
10:42and now you're hiding under a blanket?
10:44Still avoiding me?
10:46Then he just lifted the blanket
10:48and slid himself right in.
10:51Hey, how many times have I told you
10:53you can't skip breakfast?
10:55I ran half a mile
10:57to get you those croissants
10:58from your favorite place
10:59and I stood in line forever.
11:01Wanna get up and eat now?
11:03Or
11:05get eaten?
11:07Reality crashed back in
11:08and I fought like my life depended on it.
11:11But I'm 5'2 in sneakers
11:12and Asher is literally 6'2 of solid muscle.
11:15I honestly could not figure out
11:17what game he was playing.
11:18He had Chloe now,
11:19so what was he even doing in my bed?
11:21I tried to push him away
11:23only to be held even tighter.
11:25Let go of me!
11:27After what felt like forever
11:28of thrashing around,
11:29I was panting
11:30and had accomplished nothing
11:32except being held even tighter.
11:33What's the tantrum about?
11:36You're mad because I didn't bring you
11:38to the party last night?
11:39Over something that small?
11:41I said nothing.
11:41He buried his face
11:43in the curve of my neck
11:44and actually laughed.
11:45Let me guess.
11:47Mia told you something?
11:48It was a party game, Stella.
11:50Is it really worth getting jealous over?
11:52You're doing that thing you always do.
11:55I get slightly close to another girl
11:57and you go all silent and sulky.
11:59I was so furious
12:00I couldn't even form a sentence.
12:02I dredged up something
12:03from a self-defense unit in gym class,
12:05snapped my knee up hard between us,
12:07and the second he doubled over,
12:09I launched myself out of that bed.
12:11Stella.
12:12Asher's jaw went tight,
12:13his whole face going red.
12:15I grabbed a hoodie off the floor
12:16and yanked it on over my pajamas.
12:19I did not want to be in any room with him
12:22and especially not my bedroom.
12:33Hey, you took that pill yesterday, right?
12:36Because I really don't need that kind of drama
12:37and I definitely don't want to have
12:39that conversation with your parents.
12:48Come on, be reasonable.
12:50Eat something before you pick a fight.
12:54You know your stomach's sensitive.
13:04What is actually going on?
13:07Stella, even a tantrum needs a reason.
13:09There have to be some limits here.
13:11I kept my voice ice cold and set it flat.
13:14I don't deserve to have any say.
13:17Asher snapped.
13:18He slammed the cup down on the coffee table
13:20so hard it cracked.
13:21The plastic split
13:23and the smoothie spilled out in a wave,
13:25soaking into the rug.
13:26What is that supposed to mean?
13:29Who do you think you are, Stella?
13:32Who do you think you are?
13:36We slept together once.
13:37It was consensual.
13:38And now you think you own me?
13:41Do you know how suffocating that is?
13:44His voice had a viciousness to it
13:46I had never heard before.
13:47The second he finished speaking,
13:49my eyes flooded.
13:50No warning.
13:51No buildup.
13:52Just instant tears.
13:54Yesterday's humiliation came crashing back,
13:56hitting me all over again like a fresh wound.
13:59Asher clearly hadn't expected me
14:00to cry this hard this fast.
14:02He looked genuinely thrown,
14:04scrambling for what to do.
14:05He crouched down and said he was sorry.
14:08I'm sorry.
14:09I drank too much last night
14:10and I was out of line just now.
14:12He reached out to wipe my face,
14:14but I twisted away,
14:15putting distance between us.
14:16His hand froze in midair,
14:18hovering there.
14:18He opened his mouth to keep trying,
14:20but his phone buzzed.
14:21He glanced at the screen once
14:23and his entire expression shifted
14:25and he stood up and moved toward the door.
14:27I've got something urgent.
14:28Take a minute to calm down.
14:30We're going to college soon.
14:32You can't keep throwing fits like a little kid
14:35who's going to put up with that.
14:42He hadn't been gone 30 minutes
14:44when Mia sent me a screenshot.
14:46Chloe's Instagram story just said,
14:48I'm hungry and breakfast appeared like magic.
14:51Pretty sure this is mutual now with a little heart.
14:53The photo was of the exact same croissants
14:56that were sitting on my kitchen counter.
14:58I didn't respond.
14:59I just quietly wiped my eyes,
15:01got on my hands and knees
15:02and started cleaning up the smoothie Asher had spilled.
15:05I scrubbed for a long time before I accepted
15:08with a hollow feeling in my chest
15:09that the stain had soaked all the way through the wool rug
15:12and wasn't coming out.
15:14So I just threw the whole rug in the trash.
15:16It didn't matter anyway.
15:17That rug was something Asher and his parents
15:20had spent an entire afternoon picking out on a family trip
15:23and he'd lugged it home in his carry-on himself.
15:25Then I went through everything else,
15:27every single thing Asher had ever left at my place,
15:31every gift he'd given me over the years,
15:33every photo of the two of us,
15:34every small souvenir and keepsake.
15:37It took the rest of the day,
15:38but I packed every last bit of it up
15:40and threw it all out.
15:44I doubted he'd want any of it back anyway.
15:47After he left that day, the silence stretched.
15:50Days went by and he didn't reach out at all.
15:52Things with Chloe were probably going great
15:54or maybe he was waiting for me
15:56to be the one who caved first.
15:57In every fight we'd ever had,
15:59I was always the one who broke first,
16:01every single time, no exceptions.
16:03But this time I didn't go looking for him
16:06and I didn't have any reason to.
16:07I blocked him on everything,
16:09texts, all social media,
16:11changed my front door code
16:12and deleted every account he might use to find me.
16:15After that, I called my parents
16:17who were both traveling for work.
16:18I told them I wanted to spend the summer
16:20visiting my aunt on the other side of the country.
16:22My plan was to stay there until school started,
16:25then head straight to California with Mia
16:27instead of coming home.
16:28Other than Mia,
16:29no one else knew yet
16:30that I'd changed my application.
16:32This plan should work perfectly.
16:34There was basically zero chance
16:36I'd run into Asher if I pulled this off right.
16:38My mom actually laughed over the phone.
16:42Ooh, so you and Ashler
16:44are taking a vacation together?
16:45I made up a quick excuse
16:47and didn't go into detail.
16:48I just told her I wanted to visit my aunt and grandma.
16:51I begged my dad to book me
16:52the first available flight
16:54and I was ready to leave that same night.
16:56Of course, because the universe has no chill,
16:59I ran into Asher's mom
17:00right at our front door on my way out.
17:03She grabbed my arm warmly
17:04and started chattering.
17:06Stella, honey, where's Asher?
17:08He's not coming to pick you up?
17:09Didn't he say he was taking you on that ski trip?
17:13Go have fun.
17:15I am 100% behind you two.
17:18I was confused.
17:19I had mentioned once during senior year
17:22that I'd always wanted to try skiing in Colorado
17:25just offhand
17:26but given everything that had happened between us
17:28the idea of going on a trip together
17:30seemed completely impossible.
17:32I was running out of time though
17:33so I said something vague and non-committal
17:36and slipped away.
17:37What I never expected was that at the airport
17:39I would come face to face with Asher.
17:44He was with a group of friends.
17:46Chloe was there too.
17:47Asher had her designer bag in one hand
17:49and his other arm slung around her shoulder.
17:51They were trailing at the back of the group.
17:53Every so often
17:54Chloe would lean her head toward him to say something
17:57and every single time
17:58without any hesitation
18:00he would bend down to listen.
18:02He never did that with me.
18:03Asher had always been taller than me
18:05and the gap had only gotten bigger over the years.
18:08When it was the two of us
18:09I was always the one bouncing on my toes
18:11craning my neck up just to catch his eyes.
18:14Turns out
18:14for the right person
18:15he would be the one who bends.
18:18I breathed in slowly.
18:19I told myself
18:20I needed to have some dignity about this.
18:22Whatever he did
18:23was none of my business.
18:25If I let myself overthink it
18:26I deserve to be slapped.
18:28But there seemed to be only one path to the gate.
18:31All I could do was stay far enough behind
18:33that he wouldn't notice me.
18:34By some miracle
18:35we eventually reached a fork in the terminal
18:37where the path split.
18:39Asher seemed to get distracted around then.
18:41He made a bunch of calls
18:42none of which seemed to go through
18:43and then spent a long time staring at his phone.
18:46Eventually
18:47he borrowed someone else's phone
18:49his face dark and unreadable
18:50and disappeared into a nearby bathroom.
18:53A moment later
18:54my phone rang
18:55unknown number.
18:57So you've got a real attitude on you this time.
19:00You're just not going to come to me first?
19:02You actually blocked me?
19:05Fine.
19:06Keep it up.
19:07See how great you do
19:08when we're both in Boston
19:09and you don't know anyone
19:10and there's no one to look out for you.
19:11Asher came out swinging
19:12rattling off complaints
19:14in one long irritated breath.
19:16I had absolutely nothing to say
19:18to any of that
19:19but Asher seemed to get angrier
19:20at my silence.
19:22I'm done talking about this
19:23just unblock me.
19:25I'm heading out of the country
19:26for a couple days with some friends
19:28probably won't have great reception.
19:32Don't get all weepy about it.
19:34I couldn't even be bothered
19:35to say a single word back.
19:37I hung up and turned my phone off.
19:39From across the terminal
19:40I watched Asher stalk back to his group
19:42his expression stormy.
19:44He grabbed Chloe's hand
19:45didn't hesitate for a second
19:47and walked toward the left gate.
19:49I let out a long breath
19:50turned around
19:51and headed right.
19:54With my family
19:55I performed happiness
19:56and honestly
19:57I got pretty good at it.
19:58I deliberately kept myself
20:00slammed with plans
20:01filling every gap in the day
20:03so I had no room to spiral.
20:05I definitely didn't add Asher back
20:07the way he demanded
20:08but Mia and some others
20:09kept me updated on his life anyway.
20:11Asher and his friends
20:12had apparently been
20:13screaming Colorado for days.
20:15For some reason
20:16he was suddenly posting
20:17on social media
20:18every single day
20:19which was completely
20:20unlike the version of him
20:22who used to go months
20:23without posting anything.
20:24Sometimes it was slow motion
20:26clips of him
20:26carving down the slopes.
20:28Sometimes it was food
20:29and late night parties
20:30but mostly it was big group shots
20:32of everyone clowning around
20:33in the snow
20:34even though I genuinely
20:35didn't want to see it.
20:37Somehow people kept sending it
20:38to me unprompted.
20:39Everyone was very casually curious
20:41about why I hadn't gone with Asher.
20:43I didn't know what to say
20:44so I just told people
20:46I had family stuff going on.
20:47Mia was the only one
20:49who openly called him
20:50a trash human.
20:51Everyone else around me
20:52seemed to be constantly
20:53stopping themselves
20:54from saying something.
20:55I knew
20:55they'd probably figured out
20:57something was wrong.
20:59In every single group photo
21:01Asher posted
21:02he and Chloe were glued together
21:03inseparable
21:04but that spot beside him
21:06had been mine for years
21:07just mine.
21:08Every time I saw
21:09one of those photos
21:10my face stayed completely neutral
21:11but something deep
21:12in my chest would clench.
21:14He was the first person
21:15I ever fell for
21:16someone I had genuinely
21:17completely
21:19embarrassingly loved
21:20for such a long time.
21:21In the middle of the night
21:22alone
21:23I would fall apart a little
21:24and sometimes
21:25I felt this stubborn
21:26stupid feeling
21:27that I wasn't ready to let go.
21:29But every time
21:30that feeling started rising
21:31I'd replay his words
21:32and give myself a mental slap.
21:34I'd repeat it to myself
21:35over and over
21:36Stella
21:37don't be pathetic
21:38that's the fastest way
21:39to make yourself
21:40even less worth respecting
21:41just hold on
21:42a little longer.
21:43Once the detox period
21:45was over
21:45everything would be fine.
21:47We went a full month
21:48without any contact
21:49the longest we'd ever gone
21:50since the day we met.
21:51Distance and time
21:52turned out to be
21:53the best medicine.
21:54I ground through
21:55the worst of it
21:55and came out the other side.
21:57Just when I'd reached
21:58the point where I didn't
21:59think about him
21:59every hour of every day
22:01he switched to a new number
22:02and called me
22:03from across the country.
22:07So you're just that bold
22:09running off without me
22:10and staying this long?
22:13Summer's almost over
22:14Stella.
22:15Did you forget you promised
22:17to go on a trip with me?
22:18Maybe it was because
22:19we'd gone so long
22:20without talking
22:21but underneath
22:22all the complaints
22:23his voice had this
22:24edge to it
22:25almost careful.
22:26I still didn't want
22:27to talk to him.
22:28I was about to hang up
22:28when his mom
22:29snatched the phone.
22:30Stella, sweetheart
22:32are you having fun
22:33out there?
22:34This boy won't
22:35tell me anything.
22:36I only just found out
22:37you two had a fight.
22:39Don't be too hard
22:40on him honey.
22:41When you come back
22:42I'll make him
22:43apologize to your face.
22:45Oh and Ashler
22:46just got his
22:47acceptance letter today.
22:48Yours should come
22:49soon too.
22:50Have you thought
22:51about when you'll
22:51come home for your
22:52going away party?
22:54I've got a little
22:55surprise planned.
22:56Asher's mom had been
22:57like a second family
22:58to me since I was little.
22:59I couldn't bring myself
23:00to hang up on her
23:01so I stayed on
23:02and let her talk.
23:03I'm not really
23:04planning to have a party.
23:05My parents are
23:06always traveling
23:07and honestly
23:08we can just do
23:09a video call thing
23:09with family.
23:10I probably won't be
23:11back before school
23:12starts anyway.
23:13I'll just come home
23:14right before move in.
23:15I didn't even finish
23:16the sentence before
23:17Asher took the phone
23:18back.
23:18His breathing was
23:19heavy.
23:20I could feel the
23:21anger coming through
23:21from 3,000 miles away.
23:25Stella, I'm literally
23:27the one reaching out
23:28first here.
23:28How much longer
23:29are you going to
23:30keep this up?
23:31If you don't come back
23:32don't expect me to
23:33wait for you.
23:34I'll head to Boston
23:35without you.
23:36He delivered the
23:37threat in this cold
23:38flat voice.
23:39Waited and waited
23:41without getting the
23:42answer he wanted.
23:43My acceptance letter
23:44had already arrived
23:45at home.
23:46When they saw the
23:46school name on the
23:47letter, my parents
23:48finally found out
23:49I'd changed my
23:50application.
23:51My mom video
23:52called me.
23:52Hi baby.
23:54Why didn't you
23:54talk to us before
23:55changing your
23:56application?
23:57Does Asher know?
23:58His mom called
23:59this morning asking
24:00if your letter had
24:01come yet.
24:02I had no words.
24:07Baby, how are we
24:08supposed to feel okay
24:09about you going all
24:09the way to California
24:10alone?
24:11Aren't you the kid
24:12who's terrified of
24:13bugs and can't
24:14handle heat?
24:15You really think you
24:16can manage?
24:17Don't call me to
24:18come deal with it
24:18for you.
24:19That school has a
24:20lot to offer and
24:21Mia will be going
24:22there too.
24:23You don't have to
24:24worry.
24:25Is this about a
24:25fight with Asher?
24:27Because that's not
24:29a reason to switch
24:29schools across the
24:30country.
24:32What if you change
24:33your mind in a week
24:34and want him back?
24:35Then what?
24:36It's heart your
24:37caption.
24:38I just decided to
24:39say it straight.
24:41Asher has a
24:42girlfriend.
24:43Mom, dad, I have
24:46my own life and I
24:47don't want to just
24:48orbit around his
24:49forever.
24:50So please support
24:51my choice and
24:52please keep it
24:53between us for
24:54now.
24:55My parents looked
24:56at each other for
24:57a long time without
24:58speaking.
24:59The only thing they
25:00asked was that I
25:01come home sooner
25:02rather than later.
25:03School was starting
25:04soon and they
25:05wanted time with me.
25:06My mom mentioned
25:07that Asher had gone
25:08off on another trip
25:09with friends the
25:09very next day after
25:11getting his
25:11acceptance letter.
25:12He'd been gone
25:13for days.
25:14His mom was
25:14apparently calling
25:15my mom regularly
25:16asking when I was
25:17flying back.
25:18On the day I
25:19landed, my parents
25:20showed up at the
25:21airport, dressed
25:21like they were
25:22going somewhere
25:22formal.
25:23I woke up from
25:24my nap on the
25:24drive.
25:25I realized they'd
25:26pulled up to a
25:27five-star hotel.
25:29I was still half
25:29asleep when my mom
25:31grabbed my arm and
25:32steered me through
25:33the lobby.
25:33And right there,
25:34standing in the
25:35middle of it, was
25:36Asher, who I
25:37hadn't seen in
25:38months.
25:39My feet stopped
25:40moving on their
25:41own.
25:41Asher was in a
25:42perfectly fitted black
25:43suit, leaning
25:44casually beside the
25:45lobby fountain, like
25:46something out of a
25:47magazine spread.
25:48Just one summer was
25:49all it took.
25:50The boyish edge had
25:51faded, and he looked
25:52exactly like the
25:53version of him I
25:54used to imagine when
25:55I tried to picture
25:56him grown up.
25:57Something complicated
25:58twisted in my chest.
25:59I'd avoided this
26:00moment for months, and
26:01now here it was, sprung
26:02on me with no
26:03warning.
26:05Stella, it's Ashler's
26:06going away party.
26:07We figured we'd pick
26:08you up and bring you
26:09straight here.
26:10You said you didn't
26:11want a party of your
26:12own, right?
26:13Ashley asked his
26:14parents to set the
26:15date for the day you
26:16got back, so you can
26:17kind of both celebrate
26:18together.
26:19Asher seemed to
26:20sense something, because
26:21right then, he
26:22casually glanced over,
26:23and his gaze landed
26:24directly on mine.
26:25My heart lurched
26:27sideways, still felt
26:28like the floor dropped
26:29out.
26:29But Asher moved
26:30first.
26:31He took one step
26:32toward us, and then
26:33Chloe appeared out of
26:34nowhere, and slipped
26:35her arm through his.
26:36She pulled him along
26:37with her, smiling wide,
26:39and walked right over
26:40to us.
26:41Oh my gosh, Stella,
26:43you're back!
26:44I've been wanting to
26:45properly meet you
26:46forever.
26:47I always saw you
26:49around with Asher.
26:51I'm from the AP
26:52track, so we never
26:53officially met, and
26:55I'm genuinely sad
26:57about that.
26:58Yeah.
26:59Asher looked vaguely
27:00uncomfortable.
27:01Why would you want to
27:02get to know her?
27:03She's just a drama
27:04queen who throws
27:05fits.
27:06I honestly thought
27:08she'd stayed in her
27:08aunt's state forever.
27:10The world will keep
27:11on turning, and your
27:12name will be forgotten.
27:13I had nothing to say
27:14to that.
27:14There was genuinely
27:15no response.
27:17Chloe's silver bodycon
27:18dress was covered in
27:19tiny crystals that
27:20caught every bit of
27:21light in the room.
27:22I glanced down at
27:23myself.
27:23White tea, jeans,
27:25sneakers, hair that
27:26still had a slight
27:27slept-on wave from
27:28the plane.
27:28I looked like I'd
27:29made a wrong turn on
27:30the way to a
27:31convenience store.
27:31I brought a dress
27:32for you, baby.
27:33You can go change
27:34in the powder room.
27:34I nodded, then
27:35shook my head.
27:36There was no point.
27:37This wasn't my
27:38party.
27:39Asher kept staring
27:40at me with this
27:40unreadable expression.
27:42Chloe's eyes kept
27:43flicking back and
27:44forth between the
27:44two of us.
27:45Luckily, a few more
27:46guests arrived just
27:47then, and Chloe
27:48immediately pulled
27:49Asher over to greet
27:50them.
27:50Like she was already
27:51the hostess.
27:52Mom, let's go in.
27:53I'm a little hungry.
27:56It was a small
27:57gathering.
27:58Asher had only
27:59invited close family
28:00and a handful of
28:01friends.
28:01Every single person
28:02I knew looked
28:03visibly shocked
28:04when they saw me
28:05walk in.
28:05I just smiled and
28:07said hello and
28:07acted like I didn't
28:08notice, but nobody
28:09was subtle about
28:10their curiosity.
28:11The people watching
28:12energy was off the
28:13charts.
28:16I slipped out to
28:17the terrace for some
28:18air and could
28:18immediately hear a
28:19small group in the
28:20hallway cornering
28:21Asher for the
28:22gossip.
28:25Wait, didn't
28:25Stella fall out
28:26with you over the
28:27Chloe thing?
28:27Why is she here?
28:28Did she come
28:28crawling back?
28:30She's just quick
28:31tempered and in a
28:32mood.
28:32She always comes
28:33around after a
28:33couple of days.
28:34We've known each
28:34other our whole
28:35lives.
28:35She's not actually
28:36going to cut me
28:36off.
28:37I mean, Stella's
28:38genuinely great.
28:38She's been ride or
28:39died for you for
28:40years.
28:40All of us are
28:40low-key jealous of
28:41how she treats you.
28:42But like, one is
28:43your childhood best
28:44friend.
28:45Honestly, Stella's
28:46amazing, but it
28:47also feels kind of
28:49limiting.
28:49I'm young.
28:50I don't want to
28:50only ever have one
28:51person.
28:52That's too
28:52predictable.
28:53I need to see what
28:54else is out there.
28:55But that doesn't
28:56mean anything has to
28:57end, as long as I
28:58know there's always a
28:58light on at home for
28:59me.
29:01You're such a player.
29:02I'd heard enough.
29:03I backed away as
29:04quietly as I could.
29:05The evening breeze hit
29:06my face, and I felt my
29:08eyes go hot.
29:09I just hated myself for
29:10spending so many years
29:12being blind to who he
29:13actually was.
29:14I was in absolutely the
29:17worst mood of the entire
29:18summer.
29:19But Asher's mom was
29:20thrilled to see me, and
29:22spent most of dinner
29:23doting on me, refusing to
29:24let go of my hand.
29:25Stella, Boston can get
29:27really dry in winter.
29:28Let Asher take you
29:29shopping tomorrow and
29:30stock up on some good
29:31moisturizers.
29:32Oh, it's fine.
29:33There are plenty of
29:34shops out there, and
29:35online shopping is so
29:36easy.
29:36She nodded warmly and
29:38turned to my mom.
29:39I already picked out
29:40all the bedding for the
29:41dorms, got a set for
29:42Asher and one for Stella
29:43at the same time, all
29:44four seasons covered.
29:46Boston winters are
29:47brutal.
29:47I went with really thick
29:49comforters, and got a
29:50few winter clothes for
29:51Stella, too.
29:52Don't you worry about a
29:52thing.
29:53My mom made a face like
29:54she'd swallowed something.
29:56All of that would be
29:56completely useless in
29:58California.
29:58But she didn't want to
29:59embarrass anyone, so she
30:01thanked her graciously.
30:02Chloe, sitting nearby,
30:04looked like she was
30:04biting through her own
30:05cheek.
30:06Asher's mom didn't seem
30:07to notice.
30:07She kept right on
30:08talking, addressing
30:09both of us.
30:11Once you're both in
30:12Boston, you'll be each
30:14other's family.
30:15Asher, you better take
30:16good care of Stella and
30:17stop making her upset.
30:18You hear me?
30:19Asher threw a glance my
30:20way with zero expression.
30:23She doesn't need anyone
30:24to look after her.
30:25She's perfectly capable of
30:26flying on her own.
30:27The table got a little
30:28stiff, and that's when
30:29Chloe smoothly cut in.
30:31Oh, don't worry.
30:31My school is in Boston,
30:32too.
30:33I'll be there to look
30:33after Asher.
30:34And Stella will be all
30:36the way in California
30:36anyway, so...
30:37It's not really
30:38practical.
30:40Before she even
30:41finished the sentence,
30:42Asher and his
30:43parents' faces changed.
30:44California?
30:45Every single one of
30:47them looked at me
30:48and asked it at
30:49the same time.
30:51Asher, you didn't
30:52know?
30:52It's been on the
30:53school's honor board.
30:54Oh, wait.
30:55You haven't been
30:56back to campus.
30:57Every pair of eyes
30:58at the table
30:58swiveled to me.
31:00Under the weight
31:00of all that attention,
31:01I quietly nodded.
31:03My mom stepped in
31:04to explain.
31:05Stella made a last-minute
31:06decision to change
31:07her application.
31:09She's going to a great
31:10school in California,
31:11and it's actually the
31:13perfect program for her.
31:15Asher didn't believe it.
31:16He grabbed my hand
31:17and made me look at him.
31:19Stella, I literally
31:21watched you fill out
31:22that application.
31:23We were going to
31:24the same school.
31:25His grip was tight
31:26enough to actually
31:27hurt, and it pushed
31:28me over the edge.
31:29Yeah, I changed it.
31:31What does it have
31:32to do with you?
31:33Asher looked stunned
31:33for a second, then
31:35started laughing like
31:36I'd said something
31:36ridiculous.
31:37You're joking.
31:38You're literally the
31:39girl who jumps onto
31:40my back at the sight
31:41of a bug, and you're
31:42moving to California?
31:45And you're moving
31:45to California?
31:46I pulled out my
31:47phone, found the
31:48crystal clear photo
31:49of my acceptance
31:50letter, and held it
31:51up in his face.
31:52Asher took the phone,
31:53zoomed in, zoomed
31:55out, read it over
31:56and over, and finally
31:58let out a laugh that
31:59had no humor in it
32:00at all.
32:01In the middle of
32:01everyone's gasps, he
32:03grabbed my wrist and
32:04pulled me out of the
32:05dining room.
32:07He pulled me into a
32:08side room and locked
32:09the door behind us.
32:10Asher planted himself
32:11against it, cutting off
32:12any escape, and came
32:14at me hard.
32:15Stella, I cannot
32:16believe you.
32:16You're so mad that
32:17you just forget our
32:18whole plan, go behind
32:20my back, and commit
32:21Mitt to a school
32:21across the country.
32:22I lifted my head.
32:23I took a breath and
32:24made myself look him
32:25straight in the eye.
32:26I have my own plans.
32:28Since when do I have
32:29to build my entire
32:30future around what
32:31you want?
32:32Asher, be honest
32:33with yourself.
32:34Are you actually
32:35upset about the
32:36plan, or are you
32:38upset because I'm
32:39not available to be
32:40your fallback girl
32:40anymore?
32:41The color drained
32:42from his face.
32:43What is that
32:43supposed to mean?
32:44Could you not phrase
32:45things like that?
32:46We're adults.
32:47That night was
32:48completely mutual.
32:49Are you seriously
32:50still bringing that
32:51up?
32:51I was embarrassed,
32:52but I held his gaze
32:53anyway.
32:54Asher, if you like
32:54someone else, you
32:55could have just said
32:56so.
32:56I'm not so shameless
32:57that I would have
32:58kept throwing myself
32:59at you.
32:59But you knew you
33:00didn't like me back
33:01and you just watched
33:02me walk straight
33:02into the flame.
33:03That was fun for
33:04you, wasn't it?
33:04Even now, he still
33:05didn't get it.
33:06People don't say
33:07goodbye until they've
33:08completely run out of
33:09hope.
33:09He flushed.
33:10Something in what I
33:11said hit.
33:12His face went from
33:13white to red, and he
33:14visibly swayed.
33:15What do you even
33:16listen to what you're
33:17saying?
33:17He couldn't finish
33:19the sentence.
33:22Stella, we've known
33:22each other since we
33:23were eight years old
33:24and we're 18 now.
33:26If you're choosing to
33:27walk away from what
33:27we have, then we
33:29don't have to be
33:29friends either.
33:30And with just that,
33:31he turned and walked
33:32out of the hotel.
33:40From that day until
33:42the day I left for
33:43school, I never saw
33:44Asher again.
33:44Mia sent me a
33:45screenshot of his
33:46official couple's
33:47post with Chloe.
33:48I deleted it without
33:49even opening it.
33:50Every mutual friend
33:51connected to him, I
33:53blocked.
33:53There was genuinely
33:54no point in following
33:55any of it anymore.
33:59The only exception
34:00was the day I flew
34:01out to California.
34:02Of course, because
34:03the universe has a
34:04terrible sense of
34:05humor, I walked
34:06straight into Asher
34:07at the airport again,
34:08with Chloe still
34:09glued to his side.
34:10When we passed
34:11each other, he said
34:12a stiff hello to my
34:13parents and kept
34:14walking, clearly
34:15still angry.
34:16He didn't look at me
34:17once.
34:17We scattered in
34:18different directions
34:19and neither of us
34:20looked back.
34:21Right before I got to
34:22the security line, I
34:23glanced over and caught
34:24Asher at his gate, about
34:25to board.
34:26He gave me one cold,
34:27flat look and then
34:29disappeared through the
34:30door without turning
34:31around.
34:31The person who had been
34:32part of every chapter of
34:34my growing up, we were
34:35finally completely done.
34:37Different destinations
34:38at last.
34:39And I hope yours goes
34:40well.
34:40I said it only to
34:41myself.
34:42After that, a long, long
34:44time passed without
34:45either of us hearing a
34:46single thing about the
34:47other.
34:47I specifically asked my
34:49parents not to bring up
34:50anything related to Asher
34:52or his family in front of
34:53me.
34:54Over New Year's break, a
34:55girl from our high school
34:56came to visit.
34:57He's nothing like that
34:58cold, focused, straight-A
35:00guy he was in high school.
35:01He's completely different.
35:05Honestly, if you ran into
35:07him now, you might not
35:08even recognize him.
35:10I didn't say anything.
35:11Mia kicked her under the
35:12table and smoothly changed
35:14the subject, and the girl
35:15dropped it.
35:16We did the New Year's
35:17countdown by the water, and
35:18Mia told me to make a
35:19wish.
35:20Hope New Year, Syria
35:22parent healthy, can
35:23keating under the world.
35:24I realized it was the
35:25first wish I'd ever made
35:26that had absolutely nothing
35:27to do with him.
35:28For a full six years of my
35:30life, every single wish I
35:32made had involved Asher
35:33in some way.
35:35Mia, Happy New Year!
35:37I felt genuinely happy.
35:39I knew I had finally,
35:41actually, completely let go.
35:43The first winter break of
35:45college, I missed my
35:46parents so badly I couldn't
35:48stand it.
35:49The second my last exam was
35:50done, I was on the first
35:51flight home.
35:52What I didn't expect was
35:54that Asher had come to the
35:55airport with my parents to
35:56pick me up.
35:57After half a year apart, we
35:59had both changed.
36:00He was thinner, had dyed his
36:02hair, but was still, honestly,
36:04annoyingly good-looking.
36:05I've always had terrible
36:06judgment about people, but
36:08my taste has never been the
36:09problem.
36:10Why else would I have been
36:11trailing after him since we
36:12were five?
36:13Hey there, big bro Asher.
36:14He stared at me like I'd
36:15spoken a different language.
36:18We ran into him outside.
36:19He insisted on coming along
36:21to help.
36:21I smiled and waved her off.
36:23It was fine.
36:26In the car, I immediately
36:27launched into all the funny
36:29things that had happened at
36:30school, and my parents were
36:31the whole ride.
36:32No one was paying any
36:34attention to Asher.
36:36You've worked hard.
36:38Please send our regards to
36:39your parents.
36:39He seemed like he wanted to
36:40come inside when we got home,
36:42but all three of us politely
36:43turned him down together.
36:44My grandma and my aunt had
36:46both come back to celebrate
36:47the holidays that year.
36:48New Year's Eve was loud and
36:50packed with family.
36:51After the big dinner, the
36:52older relatives parked
36:53themselves in front of the
36:54TV, while the rest of us were
36:56teaching each other card games.
36:57That's when Asher showed up at
36:59the door with his parents,
37:00arms full of bags.
37:01Our house is too quiet
37:02tonight.
37:03Hope you don't mind us
37:04crashing your game.
37:09Our house is too quiet
37:10tonight.
37:11Hope you don't mind us
37:12crashing your game.
37:13Asher's mom laughed as she
37:14walked in.
37:15Every year growing up, the
37:16two families had spent the
37:17holiday together.
37:18This year, because of
37:20everything that had
37:20happened, my mom had
37:22turned down the invitation
37:23to share the big dinner.
37:24But you can't exactly turn
37:26people away once they're
37:27at your door.
37:28Asher settled himself
37:29naturally.
37:30My cousins had no idea
37:31about any of the drama
37:32and kept teasing us like
37:33they always had.
37:34I laughed it off.
37:36It's not what you think.
37:38Asher's expression went a
37:39little flat.
37:40When midnight came and we
37:41all went outside for
37:42sparklers, he caught my arm
37:46and looked like he was
37:47working up to say
37:48something.
37:48My phone rang.
37:49My face went a little
37:50warm.
37:51It was a guy from one of my
37:52clubs at school.
37:54Hi, Stella.
37:56I'm just a bit bored and
37:57wanted to say Happy New
37:58Year to you.
37:59A local California boy
38:00named Jake.
38:01He was good looking too.
38:02Not in that cold, aloof way.
38:05More like the guy who's
38:06always laughing at
38:07everything and making you
38:08laugh right along with
38:09him.
38:09He never ran out of
38:10things to say and he had
38:11a way of making me
38:12completely lose it at the
38:14most random things.
38:15We talked for a while
38:16longer and when he
38:17finally hung up, Asher was
38:18standing right behind me
38:20with a face like a
38:21thundercloud.
38:23Boyfriend?
38:25Not yet, I guess.
38:30Not yet, I guess.
38:31I thought about it and
38:32answered honestly.
38:33I assumed he was done,
38:35but then he spoke again.
38:36Long distance guys aren't
38:38always reliable.
38:39You should find someone
38:40local, someone you
38:41actually know.
38:44I nodded.
38:45Something in that seemed
38:46to land somewhere tender.
38:48You're right.
38:48You really can't tell
38:49with people.
38:50I'll keep my guard up.
38:52Asher went quiet for a
38:53very long time.
38:54I assumed he was done.
38:56I didn't think too hard
38:57about it.
38:58Thanks for the advice,
39:00big bro.
39:00You should figure out
39:01your own situation too.
39:03He'd always been
39:03unpredictable like that.
39:05After that, I spent the
39:06rest of break bouncing
39:07around visiting relatives
39:08with my grandma and
39:09parents and then we did
39:10a little road trip.
39:11I was barely home.
39:13I didn't run into Asher
39:14once.
39:14The break was short and
39:15soon enough I was back
39:16at school, but the very
39:18next day after I arrived,
39:20Asher was standing
39:20outside my campus gate.
39:23Asher, what are you
39:24doing here?
39:25I wanted to see what
39:26your school looks like
39:28and check if you're
39:30actually doing okay out
39:30here.
39:32Really well, actually.
39:33The food here is
39:34amazing.
39:35You should look up
39:35some spots and try
39:36them.
39:37Stella, can't you come
39:39eat with me just once?
39:43Sorry about that, man.
39:44I've already got Stella
39:45booked.
39:46You'll have to get in
39:46line.
39:48Stella, you came back
39:50to school this early
39:51for him?
39:54Sorry, Asher.
39:55We're heading out to
39:56eat.
39:56I'll see you.
39:57Let's go.
39:58Didn't you say the
39:59place was far?
40:00Stop standing there.
40:01Asher was still
40:02standing at the campus
40:03gate watching us and
40:04under the shadow of the
40:05trees, he looked
40:06incredibly alone.
40:08He suddenly started
40:09showing up in my world
40:10constantly.
40:11I never found out
40:12what excuse he gave
40:13his school, but he
40:14kept appearing in
40:15California out of
40:16nowhere.
40:16He started showing up
40:17with gifts, flowers,
40:19bags, jewelry, and I
40:20turned every single
40:21one down.
40:22When there was nothing
40:23else to do, he'd just
40:24sit outside my dorm
40:25building and refuse to
40:27leave no matter how
40:27many times I asked.
40:29Whenever he managed
40:30to catch me, he'd
40:31fall into step beside
40:32me to every single
40:33class, then follow me
40:34to the dining hall.
40:35Jake was visibly
40:36miserable about the
40:37whole thing.
40:38Asher's mom had been
40:39calling and messaging me
40:40from multiple angles.
40:41She begged me to
40:42please talk some sense
40:43into him.
40:44I was beyond done.
40:45I genuinely could not
40:46figure out what Asher
40:47thought he was doing.
40:50Stella, why does Jake
40:52get to pursue you, but I
40:53don't?
40:54Son of Wightestass.
40:56He's known you for,
40:57what, a few months?
40:59How many years have I
41:00known you?
41:02No one in this world
41:03understands you the way
41:04I do, not even your
41:05parents, and no one is
41:07better for you than me.
41:14Asher, do you genuinely
41:15not remember what you
41:16did?
41:18Ask yourself honestly, did
41:20you ever actually treat
41:21my feelings like they
41:22mattered?
41:25You just liked the ego
41:26boost of having me chase
41:27after you.
41:28You knew no matter what
41:29you did, I wouldn't
41:31leave, so you just did
41:32whatever you felt like
41:33with my heart.
41:35Yeah, I did some things
41:36wrong back then.
41:37I was young, I thought
41:39the whole world was
41:39waiting for me, and I
41:41didn't want to feel like
41:41I was tied to any one
41:42person.
41:43I owe you a real
41:44apology, Stella.
41:46I'm sorry.
41:48But even if you treat
41:49me like a stranger, can
41:50I at least have the
41:51chance to start over
41:52and earn it back?
41:53After you left, I
41:54realized I don't know
41:55how to live without you
41:56in it.
41:57I can't imagine going
41:58forward and not having
41:59anyone to share
42:00everything with.
42:01Honestly, since
42:02leaving you, I figured
42:03out that real, mutual
42:05feelings don't require
42:06you to shrink yourself
42:07down to nothing.
42:08I can just be myself.
42:09My mood doesn't have
42:10to orbit around
42:11someone else's, and
42:12when I realized
42:12that, I started to
42:15wonder if what I felt
42:16back then was ever
42:16real love, or just
42:18something a younger,
42:19more naive version
42:20of me invented.
42:24But, but, we made
42:27promises.
42:30We said we'd go to
42:31college together, study
42:32abroad together, travel
42:33the whole world
42:34together.
42:34Are you going to walk
42:35away from all of that
42:35too?
42:37Stella, are you going
42:37to leave all this
42:38behind too?
42:40You broke the
42:40promises first, and
42:43I've already found
42:44someone I want to do
42:45all of those things
42:46with.
42:48Stop, Stella, please,
42:50just stop.
42:55Maybe you're not
42:56actually in love with
42:57me.
42:58Maybe you just can't
42:59stand the idea of
43:00losing.
43:01Asher, honestly, it's
43:03time for you to move
43:04on too.
43:07I didn't wait for a
43:08response.
43:09Jake had been waiting
43:10across the street for a
43:11while.
43:11I jogged over, and he
43:12immediately reached down
43:14and took my hand.
43:17Finally shook the X?
43:20Did you tell him I've
43:21got full bug patrol
43:22rights now?
43:22He doesn't get a single
43:23one?
43:25Everyone is going
43:26through their own
43:27goodbyes.
43:28As for us, it's
43:30finally completely over,
43:33fading away like the
43:34rain.
43:34Everyone in the
43:35middle of their own
43:36goodbye.
43:36And just like that, the
43:38two of us were finally
43:39completely over, scattered
43:41like rain.
43:42to see.
43:42you've got a
43:42name, but I'm going
43:43I'm going to
43:44see you.
43:44I know you've got a
43:45long time.
43:45I know you've got a
43:45long time.
43:45I know you've got
43:46a long time.
43:46I know you've got a
43:46long time in the
43:46the old
43:46years.
43:47I know you've got a
43:47I know you've got a
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