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Watch Evil Lives Here My Child the Killer Season 1 Episode 1 online in HD on Dailymotion (2026).
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00:07This was, like, his third or fourth birthday,
00:12and he was very happy here.
00:19If I was always stressed out, he'd come hug me
00:21and tell me he loves me and things like that.
00:25It's just sad how his life turned out.
00:28How, at that moment, you didn't think anything was going to turn out the way it did.
00:33And how you'd give anything in the world to get that back.
00:39And you're never going to get it back.
00:54Deputies say this Pasco County man is in jail for purposely running over a 75-year-old veteran,
01:00the sheriff calling him pure evil.
01:08I used to go to the roadside where he was murdered all the time and sit there and cry to
01:12him and say,
01:13I'm so sorry.
01:21Many, many nights I've sat on that roadside wishing it was me.
01:46Everybody just blamed me for raising him to be a murderer.
01:51Everybody said he was a monster.
01:55He was never a monster.
01:59He's not a monster.
02:03I can just love him because I wasn't able to fix him.
02:15It was just so�� since then.
02:18Oh!
02:25The world...
02:27I've never been a monster.
02:29I bought his whoppingwh έGE.
02:36so he passed this away from my earlier.
02:36Yeah!
02:36He's a wonderful art.
02:51When I'm alone, I think about this.
02:54I get very, very sad.
02:55I think about the could've, would've, should've.
02:58But I don't know what I could've done different.
03:01I don't know how I could've stopped him
03:05if I knew I would've stopped him,
03:06found a way to stop him.
03:09I get very sad.
03:10I get sad that I don't get to see his future.
03:12I don't get to see his wedding, his kids.
03:16Now I get to hear about his,
03:18whatever milestones you go through in prison.
03:25I'm very ashamed because that's not
03:28ever what I would've imagined him to do.
03:32Very ashamed.
03:38I feel like I still don't know a lot about,
03:42about what happened.
03:44That's kind of something I'm trying to learn.
04:04There's nothing that I would find out that my son did
04:08that would ever stop me from loving him,
04:10and that would ever stop me from being there for him,
04:12because that's my promise as a mom,
04:14so I'm going to be there for my kids no matter what.
04:229-1-1, what is the address of the emergency?
04:26I'm down by Old Dixie, behind Seacline.
04:28I just killed someone.
04:30How did that happen?
04:32I just hit him.
04:34Hit him with what?
04:35My car.
04:37Was he walking down the road?
04:38You secondedly hit him?
04:39No, I intentionally hit him.
04:41You intentionally hit him?
04:42Yes, sir.
04:44I don't know what's wrong with me.
04:57He sounded strangely calm.
05:01I don't know why he sounded so calm.
05:04I didn't know he sounded like that.
05:25I don't know why he sounded so calm.
05:28I didn't know he sounded like that.
05:30That's me, Justin.
05:33I was still only 19 then, so yeah.
05:36I was very young.
05:39What do you remember about that day?
05:42How blessed, how happy I was.
05:45I felt like my world was complete.
05:49Seeing him for the first time,
05:52oh my God, he's perfect.
05:55That is a deep love that I've never felt before.
05:58It's just a lifelong connection.
06:02I felt like I was doing something right for a change
06:04by bringing him into the world.
06:24I knew things were off with him.
06:26I'd hate to say around the time he started school.
06:29He started what we called him night terrors.
06:35He would wander the house at night.
06:38Sometimes you could hear him walking around.
06:41One night, we were in bed, sound asleep.
06:46I'd wake up with him right in my face.
06:48We didn't know he was in there.
06:49He'd just be sitting there staring at us,
06:51which is terrifying.
06:54And I'd try to talk to him, and he wouldn't say anything.
06:59I had to wake my husband up, because I was scared.
07:02You know, I didn't know what he was thinking
07:03or what he was doing.
07:06That's like, you see that in horror videos.
07:09It was scary, very scary.
07:12But then after a minute, he, like, just would snap out of it.
07:15And like, I'm okay.
07:17Yeah, I'm awake.
07:17And he'd talk to me and then go back to bed.
07:22But it was so creepy.
07:23It was so crazy to me.
07:34Justin's freakouts would be very stressful,
07:37especially when you have three kids all together.
07:42He'd get very stressed out and very angst
07:45and very angry all the time
07:47because he couldn't just communicate
07:49what he wanted to say and things.
07:52We would play games with him all the time.
07:55But if things weren't going his way
07:57or if he wasn't winning, he would just get angry.
07:59He'd just flip the board and stomp off and scream.
08:02And I'd go and talk to him,
08:03and he'd just argue and scream at me.
08:07He'd just have complete meltdowns.
08:11I remember one specific time I had to come pick him up
08:13from school because he got so frustrated
08:15that he bit somebody on the arm.
08:21So it was very hard, very stressful.
08:43It was real early in the morning,
08:45and I was just, like, ripping him apart.
08:48What were you thinking?
08:49What were your plans?
08:50Like, how long did you think you were going to get away with it?
08:52And when I said that, he was like,
08:55well, I was going to get away with it
08:56because my plan was I was going to kill all of you guys.
09:00He was going to slit all our throats
09:02because he didn't want us running after him.
09:06My heart just dropped.
09:11My heart dropped, and I said,
09:13would you just not love us?
09:14Do you not care about us?
09:15And he goes, no, but that's why I wanted to do it.
09:17I wanted to kill you guys so that you wouldn't hurt.
09:22If I just killed you all,
09:24then no one would have to feel anything anymore.
09:28I felt scared.
09:29I felt anger.
09:30I felt hurt.
09:31He felt hurt.
09:33So then I felt even more hurt because he was hurt.
09:37And I told him that it would have caused so much pain
09:40for so many other people.
09:43And I needed you to understand that.
09:45I need you to see it like that.
09:48He says, yeah, I see that, and I understand that now,
09:52but I didn't care at the time.
09:56A big part of me just wanted to put it back in my head.
10:01I didn't want to see him that way.
10:03I didn't want no one to see him that way.
10:07That's what I would tell myself.
10:09He was never going to do that.
10:10He said it, but he didn't mean it.
10:11It was just, it's Justin.
10:13He would never do that.
10:28Almost 24 hours after a driver hit and killed a pedestrian,
10:32deputies are now calling the case a homicide.
10:34The suspect, his name was Justin Pinnell,
10:37a 21-year-old male.
10:38And he absolutely admits to our deputies
10:41and our detectives that he had the intention to kill somebody.
10:45This is one of those things that when you talk to society
10:47how evil things are,
10:48this man is absolutely evil.
10:51It's almost, for him, pleasurable.
11:04After Justin did what he did,
11:07our house was on the news.
11:10So, every day it was kind of scary.
11:12There were people saying
11:14that they're going to drive by our house
11:16and send bullets through our windows.
11:19We just wanted to get away
11:20and start over and start different.
11:26So, we kind of left Florida,
11:28up and left Florida.
11:30Back in Florida,
11:30it kind of felt like I had a light shining down on me
11:32and everybody knew.
11:45The TV is his.
11:47There's a dresser over there.
11:50Yeah, that little lamp right there is his.
11:54I don't know why I hang on to it.
11:56It's just, it's so many memories.
11:58There's memories everywhere.
12:00I just keep things like that.
12:05I have Justin's baby book.
12:14His ultrasound pictures.
12:16His little fingers.
12:20A little head face.
12:22This bracelet that he wore at the hospital.
12:29Um, what I looked like then.
12:35Pictures of him, more pictures,
12:36like his first holidays,
12:37his Halloween,
12:40his Christmas.
12:43Growing up, it was just us against the world,
12:45no matter what.
12:46He was my person,
12:47I was his person.
12:53And there's, you know,
12:55things I wrote to him.
12:57Up here, it says,
12:59Justin,
13:00always remember,
13:00no matter what,
13:01mommy will always be there for you.
13:03She may not like some of the things
13:05you're going to do,
13:06but I'll always stand behind you 100%.
13:11He had a trunk full of clothes
13:13and stuff like that,
13:13and I'll go through his clothes
13:15and hug him
13:16and be sad
13:18because it's just like,
13:19I lost him.
13:20I don't have him here no more.
13:22And I won't get rid of his stuff,
13:23probably because he'll never even see it again
13:25or even use it again,
13:26but that's just all I have left of him.
13:28It still smells like him.
13:29It still feels like him sometimes,
13:31and I won't get rid of his stuff.
13:34Ever.
13:47So Justin was like 15 years old
13:49when we lost my nephew,
13:51his cousin.
13:52He was like another one of my kids.
13:54He got hit by a car.
13:57I think I was telling my daughter,
13:58and she started to cry,
14:01and Justin started to laugh.
14:04And I asked him,
14:05what was he laughing about?
14:06And he's like,
14:07it's not that it happened to him,
14:09but I'm just picturing it happening in my head,
14:11almost like a cartoon,
14:12and that's what makes me laugh.
14:15Were you surprised that he started to laugh?
14:20I honestly, by that time,
14:22I wasn't
14:23because it seems to be like his reaction
14:26towards everything that hurt people, honestly.
14:30He would just always find a way to laugh about it
14:32and think it was funny.
14:36There was a time we watched somebody get hit by a car.
14:40I think Justin might have been like 10 or 11,
14:46and unfortunately,
14:47like she flew in the air,
14:50and he laughed about it,
14:53and he,
14:55I would just be like,
14:56what is going on?
14:57Was it clear the woman was dead?
15:00Absolutely.
15:01Absolutely.
15:02I mean, for the longest time,
15:03that's all I kept seeing
15:04over and over and over again.
15:07That just hit me.
15:08So sorry.
15:09You guys, just give me a minute.
15:10That just hit me.
15:14He saw that accident,
15:15and that's what he did.
15:23It's like,
15:23you don't think all the little moments
15:26that you go through in life
15:27could possibly be no
15:31lead up to maybe
15:32the things that he did
15:34or went through himself,
15:36and I don't know.
15:49I was sitting watching TV
15:51probably around the time
15:52Justin was coming home from school.
15:54I think it was like a show
15:56I was watching
15:56about kids killing animals
15:59and things like that,
16:01and I was like,
16:02I have never seen
16:02or heard of you doing
16:04anything like that, Justin,
16:05so you're good.
16:05You know, you're on the,
16:06you know,
16:06and it was like a lighthearted,
16:07you know, thing,
16:08and then he told me
16:11the story about the duck.
16:21So, my dad was watching him,
16:23and he,
16:24there's like a little lake
16:25down by where my dad was living,
16:27and he would walk down there,
16:28and he said that he was
16:29sitting there on the log,
16:31and the ducks come up,
16:32and they were just loud
16:33and noisy,
16:36and it was just too much.
16:38Like, he felt like it was so much,
16:40and he just picked it up
16:41and slammed it into a log.
16:46He just kept doing it.
16:47He said he just kept,
16:47kept doing it,
16:48and then he stopped
16:49and was like,
16:50what was I doing?
16:52Why did I do that?
16:55Like, I don't understand.
16:56Like, he just said,
16:57like, something switched
16:58in his brain.
17:00Yeah, it created a red flag
17:02in the back of my brain
17:04that he might be a psychopath.
17:06Like, something,
17:09something is not right with him.
17:11Something's not right in his head.
17:35I need Justin to call me every day
17:38because I need to feel that comfort.
17:40I need to hear his voice.
17:41I need to know he's okay.
17:45Every day I told him to call
17:46around a certain time of day
17:47so that my husband would think
17:48he wasn't calling every day
17:51because it would cause fights.
17:57My husband,
17:57he doesn't think
17:58it needs to be done every day.
18:00He doesn't like that
18:00I spend any money
18:02to talk to him.
18:05It's very hard.
18:06It's very hard to try
18:07and get my husband
18:07to understand why
18:09I can't just
18:11shut that door
18:12on him.
18:13Why I can't just,
18:14okay, this is what you did.
18:15Here you go.
18:16And just, like,
18:16close that chapter.
18:19It's very hard to explain
18:21that to my husband
18:21when he doesn't know
18:22how a maternal bond is
18:25or the feeling of,
18:26you know,
18:27of being a mom.
18:32But we have many, many talks
18:34as much as many of us
18:35had arguments
18:36and we've come a long, long ways.
18:39And he, you know,
18:40he's more understanding of it
18:42because I've been very vocal
18:44with him about it
18:46because I don't want
18:47to lose my husband
18:48and I don't want
18:49to lose my son.
18:51I feel like
18:53the last five years
18:54has just been me
18:56having to explain
18:57why I feel the way
18:58I feel all the time
18:59with everybody.
19:05But I'm never going to stop
19:06loving my kids.
19:08I'm never going to stop
19:09not trying to be there
19:10for them the best that I can.
19:12That's my baby boy.
19:13He will always be my baby boy.
19:30I would make it a point
19:31to talk to him
19:32almost every other day,
19:33check in with him,
19:34how you feeling?
19:35Like, but tell me
19:35how you're really feeling
19:36deep down
19:37and things like that.
19:40He would tell me,
19:41I haven't been able
19:42to sleep in days
19:43because I keep hearing
19:44these voices
19:45and I'm like,
19:45voices like how?
19:46What do you mean?
19:47Well, they're just telling
19:48me to do things.
19:49They're telling me
19:50to hurt others
19:51and recently
19:52they've been more
19:54telling me to hurt you.
19:57It's scaring me
19:58and I don't know
19:58what to think
19:59and I don't know
19:59how to feel about it
20:00but I feel like
20:01I could do it.
20:02I feel like I could
20:03follow through with it.
20:05I told him
20:06I was scared
20:07and to be honest,
20:08I'm here Justin,
20:09I'm going to be open
20:09and honest with you.
20:10Now I'm scared.
20:10I'm scared of you.
20:14He was scared
20:15and you could see it.
20:18I felt sad.
20:20I felt sad for him
20:23because he didn't know
20:24what he was feeling.
20:30My husband was terrified.
20:33I'm terrified.
20:35My husband didn't trust him.
20:36My husband didn't trust anything.
20:39He was scared.
20:41He was scared
20:41that Justin was going to come in
20:42and kill the both of us.
20:43Every night
20:44when we'd go to bed
20:45he'd lock that door.
20:58It's scary
20:58because you've got to go in
20:59and face these doctors
21:01that have never seen you
21:02a day in their life
21:05and your son's saying
21:06these things.
21:09I was scared for my son
21:10because he was scared.
21:13I've never seen him so scared.
21:16So they put him on medication
21:18to help him sleep
21:19because he wasn't sleeping.
21:23But the doctors weren't concerned.
21:26The doctors didn't perceive him
21:27as a threat.
21:28No, they did not perceive him
21:29as a threat.
21:30They weren't concerned.
21:31They didn't...
21:32They told me that my daughters
21:33would be safe,
21:34that we'd be safe,
21:34that it was nothing
21:35to be afraid of.
21:49This is Justin
21:50in his JROTC uniform.
21:54He made Cadet of the Month
21:56that year.
21:59They had to wear a uniform
22:00every Tuesday or Thursday.
22:04It seems like he lived
22:06for that kind of structure.
22:07Yeah.
22:08He was hoping to go
22:09into the military
22:10and he was meeting
22:10with recruiters.
22:12My husband said,
22:14I think that
22:14you really want to do it
22:16because it's basically
22:17giving you a license to kill.
22:19And Justin told him,
22:21well, when you put it that way,
22:24yeah, maybe that is a thought
22:26somewhere in my head
22:27where it has come across
22:28as a thought.
22:33And Justin said,
22:35I don't see why
22:36there would be anything
22:36wrong with it.
22:37I mean, if they're giving me
22:39a license basically
22:40and a gun to do it,
22:43I would do it no problem,
22:44you know,
22:45if that's what
22:45they needed me to do.
23:07He started talking to me
23:08about his thoughts one day.
23:12I was sitting at home
23:13and he'd come in
23:14and I'd just ask him
23:15how his day was
23:16and he would tell me
23:17how he had a thought
23:18of one day
23:19he would sneak
23:20into somebody's house
23:22and kill the whole family.
23:27My reaction was smacking him
23:28across the side of the head
23:29and asking him,
23:30first of all,
23:31why did you say that?
23:32Second of all,
23:33why would you think it?
23:34Like, who thinks that?
23:34Like, I don't even understand
23:36what even gets your mind
23:38to that thought
23:39or what's going on
23:40in your head
23:40that you have that thought.
23:43We'd fight about it
23:45and then he would leave.
23:49I used to always worry about him
23:51when he was gone.
23:52Every night,
23:54he'd either go for a bike ride,
23:56go work out,
23:57or go jog.
23:58He was really into working out.
24:00And there'd be times
24:01where he wouldn't respond
24:03to my phone calls
24:04and text messages.
24:07So then I'd worry
24:08that maybe he's doing it.
24:11Maybe he's actually, like,
24:12following through
24:12with his thoughts
24:14or something.
24:15I was worried
24:16that I might find him
24:16on the news.
24:21My husband and I both
24:23tried like hell
24:23to get help.
24:24We reached out
24:25to the police stations.
24:26We reached out
24:27to counseling lines.
24:28We, and the police station
24:32even said,
24:34I'm so sorry,
24:35but there's really
24:35nothing we can do
24:36until he actually
24:37commits a crime.
24:38And I remember breaking down
24:40and flipping out on him.
24:41I'm like,
24:41so it's going to take that?
24:43It's going to take that?
24:44What if the crime's
24:45going to be so bad
24:46that you can't come back
24:47from it?
24:48And then it was.
24:58Reports show Pennell
25:00called 911
25:00not to call for help,
25:02but because he had hit
25:03an electric pole
25:05and couldn't go anywhere.
25:06Detectives say
25:07that's when he admitted
25:08to dispatch
25:09that he purposely
25:10ran over a man
25:11and could see the terror
25:12in the pedestrian's eyes.
25:16turned the news on.
25:19There's been some kind
25:20of accident
25:20and said that they found
25:22a body on the side
25:22of the road.
25:25I think my daughter
25:25was the one
25:26that found a picture
25:28of my son's car
25:29and sent it to me.
25:30And we drove to the road
25:32and before we could even
25:33get very far on the road
25:34at the entrance,
25:35there was, you know,
25:36police everywhere
25:38that were stopping people.
25:42Then I ran up to a cop
25:44and I was like,
25:44hey, I think that's
25:46my son's car.
25:47I think, you know,
25:48something's going on
25:48with my son.
25:49I need to know
25:49what's going on.
25:51And they asked me
25:51who my son was
25:52and I told them.
25:54And they're like,
25:54well, just wait right here.
25:57A detective came up
25:58and told me
25:58they weren't exactly
26:00clear of the details yet
26:01of what was going on,
26:02but they believe
26:04my son hit
26:05and killed somebody
26:06and they believe
26:07if he hit
26:07and killed them
26:07on purpose.
26:12I don't know
26:12how to describe it.
26:14I couldn't make sense
26:15of my thoughts.
26:16I couldn't make sense
26:17of anything.
26:18Just one horrible dream.
26:19It's a nightmare
26:20and none of this is true
26:21and I didn't want
26:22to wake up from it.
26:39Hello, you have a call
26:41at no expense
26:42to you from
26:44Joseph,
26:45an inmate
26:46at Lando Lake
26:47Detention Center.
26:48To accept this call,
26:50press 5.
26:50To refuse this call,
26:52hang out now.
26:54Hi, Bobby.
26:56Hey, Mom.
26:56How you doing?
26:58Good, are you?
26:59I'm doing good.
27:00I just wanted to let you know
27:01I'm here with everybody now
27:03and we are being filmed now
27:04and you're okay
27:06with that, correct?
27:08Yeah.
27:08She told me about
27:09how you guys
27:10wanted to interview her
27:12and then you talked
27:13about showing her
27:14some of the videos
27:14and stuff.
27:16So is there anything
27:17that you're worried
27:18about her seeing?
27:19I get worried
27:20at how she might react
27:22because I end up
27:24hurting a lot more people
27:25than just the Mr. Pratt family
27:28and I do feel guilty
27:29about that at times
27:30and I don't know
27:31how she might perceive that.
27:33There's no justification
27:34or excuse.
27:37Sorry that I was
27:37in control of myself
27:38at the time.
27:41Sorry that you had to
27:42go out there with us.
27:47I mean, I know you think
27:48better of me,
27:49but...
27:53You're a better mom
27:54than I am a son.
28:07I love you, Justin.
28:09I love you too, Mom.
28:10I miss you.
28:13I see too, Mom.
28:25I'm on scene.
28:26There's no one
28:2710-12 with the vehicle.
28:30I got him.
28:30He's going to be
28:30walking up to you.
28:31He's coming out of the woods.
28:34Marine 2, I got him.
28:3510-12, 10-12.
28:40Hey, bro.
28:41Go ahead, sir.
28:49I still haven't lost faith
28:51in my son.
28:53But he did do it.
28:55He did...
28:55Not me, but he did
28:57kill someone.
28:58He did hurt someone.
29:01And I still have not
29:03lost that faith in him
29:04and I can't explain it.
29:09I just deep down inside
29:11feel that that wasn't him.
29:13That's not him.
29:13That's not the Justin I know.
29:15That's not him.
29:17That's not him.
29:38I want to know
29:38his exact thoughts.
29:39I want to know
29:40his exact thoughts
29:41leading up to it.
29:41What was he thinking
29:42sitting in the car?
29:43What came through his brain
29:45when he saw Mr. Pratt
29:46on the side of the road?
29:47I want to know
29:47those thoughts.
29:52Of course I'm scared
29:53I'm going to find
29:54something out
29:54that I don't know
29:55or something about him
29:56that I don't know.
30:11Were you en route
30:13to somewhere specific today?
30:16No, sir.
30:17I don't want to say
30:17I don't want to say
30:18I'm hearing voices
30:18it's just
30:20it just kept
30:21sounding
30:21I should kill someone
30:22I should kill someone
30:23maybe it might
30:24make me feel better
30:25maybe it might
30:26make me happier
30:29and so recently
30:30I've been driving
30:30around these roads
30:32I know that people
30:32occasionally walk on
30:34and looking for
30:35people I could hit
30:36while avoiding witnesses
30:38I don't know
30:39I don't know
30:40why I want to do this
30:41I just
30:42I also just wanted
30:43to calm down
30:44I ended up
30:45going down
30:46Airpica
30:47that's when I saw
30:47the old guy
30:48with the cane
30:49and then I made a U-turn
30:50he was going
30:51into the grass
30:52he was trying to avoid me
30:53because he saw me
30:53going for him
30:54but I
30:55just went for him
31:02all I've got for you
31:03is what the
31:05that's pretty painful
31:06to hear yeah
31:06yeah
31:07yep
31:09he made a U-turn
31:11to hit a man
31:12an old man
31:13with a cane
31:14yeah
31:18and sped up
31:19and aimed right for him
31:23that's what he said
31:23he did
31:27what the
31:27is going through
31:28your head
31:29while doing it
31:30and you
31:31it's just
31:33you could have
31:34just swore it
31:34the other way
31:34and not have done it
31:36you know
31:39something in your mind
31:40had that pull
31:41so tight
31:41so strong
31:42that you just
31:45followed through
31:45with it
31:46I don't
31:46I don't understand that
31:47I don't
31:48I could never put myself
31:49in that frame of mind
31:51because I could never
31:52do that
31:53so
31:55I got no words
32:05guy calling said
32:06he hit him on purpose
32:07you hear that
32:08okay
32:08yeah
32:09alright
32:10we'll get a sheet
32:12alright
32:12we'll mark it off
32:18did you hear him
32:19say anything
32:20I only saw his reaction
32:22what was that
32:24you know
32:25that oh
32:25moment
32:26what were your thoughts
32:27like when that
32:28were ready
32:28that moment
32:30do you remember
32:32I just
32:34smiled and laughed
32:35much as I answered
32:37one question
32:37I was
32:38wanting to answer
32:39which was
32:39how would I feel like
32:41to kill someone
32:41and
32:42how does it feel
32:46I mean
32:46I mean
32:46when I did it
32:47I
32:48I was laughing
32:50I mean
32:51I enjoyed it
32:52but
32:54afterwards
32:55after I calmed down
32:56a bit
32:58I wouldn't say
32:58I felt regretful
33:01I mean
33:01to be perfectly honest
33:02I was more ashamed
33:03that I broke the car
33:04the way I did
33:05when I killed the person
33:14I don't know
33:15I don't
33:15I don't
33:16I really can't think
33:17right
33:17my mind
33:18is just
33:18freaking
33:28are you more angry
33:29or worse bad
33:34equal amounts
33:35of both
33:35honestly
33:36like
33:37I don't
33:37like
33:44I don't
33:45this is where
33:46I feel like
33:46my
33:46my
33:47my
33:48my brain
33:48is just trying
33:48to shut down
33:49to process it
33:53and I'm trying
33:53to be
33:55open
33:55and honest
33:56but
33:56I don't have it
33:57right now
33:58because I still
33:59have to process it
34:03because the mom
34:03in me
34:04still
34:04is feeling
34:05the hurt
34:05he's feeling
34:07like he's not
34:07sounding like he hurts
34:08he's not
34:09you know
34:10probably showing
34:11like he hurts
34:11but I feel like
34:12he's hurting
34:14it's just the mama bear
34:16that's always going to want
34:17to fight for him
34:18no matter what
34:19because I can fix him
34:20I can fix him
34:21and I can make him better
34:22somehow
34:22some way
34:23I can fix him
34:24and make him better
34:29I can just love him
34:31because I wasn't
34:32able to fix him
34:42is there anything
34:43when we go talk to your mom
34:44that you want us to
34:45like relay for you
34:46I know you haven't had
34:46a chance to talk
34:47with her
34:47I would recommend
34:48keeping details of the case
34:50private
34:51simply because
34:52she might get
34:53a bit emotional
34:53and that might make
34:54your investigation
34:54get hard
34:55it's not a matter of
34:57like
34:59I want to tell her
35:00myself
35:00it's just a matter of
35:03these things
35:04are a bit
35:04sensitive to her
35:05and well
35:08yeah
35:08I mean
35:09it might make things
35:10a bit complicated
35:20you had mentioned
35:21that you had thoughts
35:22of doing this
35:24you wanted to do this
35:25is this the only way
35:27you imagined doing it
35:28or had you imagined
35:29doing it
35:29other methods
35:30like
35:32some other way
35:34I mean
35:35I had
35:35I'm really fond
35:36with knives
35:37it's
35:37I was thinking about
35:38slicing people up
35:40and cutting them open
35:41dissecting them
35:43essentially
35:43yeah
35:44but you've never done
35:45that before
35:46no
36:01that's um
36:03that's hard to hear
36:04yeah
36:06yeah
36:07especially since
36:08it was kind of
36:08a brought up
36:09in a conversation
36:10between my husband
36:10and I yesterday
36:12because I asked him
36:14what made that
36:14thing click in his brain
36:16that he was
36:17that made him
36:17super scared
36:18or just made him
36:19start locking the doors
36:20because I never really
36:21fully understood it
36:23it was because
36:24Justin was starting
36:25to collect knives
36:26and he was sharpening
36:27them every day
36:27and he had no reason to
36:30but now hearing this
36:32is just
36:34insane
36:35mind-blowing
36:36and I feel so bad
36:38for my husband
36:38and all this
36:39I have to do
36:41such I
36:41have no
36:41but now
36:44I have no
36:45in
36:45I have no
37:02not
37:02I have no
37:03I have no
37:25What the ?
37:29What the ?
37:30It literally looks like a murder kit.
37:34Like, there's so much more to him that I didn't see.
37:43There's so much more to him that I didn't know.
37:54How does that happen?
37:55Like, that's my boy.
38:03That was my life.
38:28My soul is crushed right now.
38:57You talked to Justin last night, what was your conversation like?
39:00What did you say to him?
39:01What the ?
39:02You pretty much said and did everything a psychopath would do.
39:07Like, you even mentioned it without saying to yourself, you were a psychopath, Justin.
39:12So, I don't understand.
39:15He's going to have to put him in the back of the side.
39:18He said he doesn't remember saying those things.
39:23He doesn't know why he would do that or be like that.
39:25He doesn't know why he did any of the stuff that he did.
39:30Do you believe him?
39:33I want to.
39:35I want to so bad.
39:47Doing this show is like ripping a bandaid off a wound and just like giving it some oxygen.
39:53And I do believe it is helping and it is going to help further on down the road.
39:58I needed it.
39:59And I do feel different.
40:01I do feel like I can breathe differently.
40:04Like, there's not so much of a weight.
40:08Knowing that I somehow raised a murderer is petrifying.
40:18I know it's not the hardest, but I know it's one of the hardest things that a parent would ever
40:23have to do or go through or feel and think.
40:26And I'm still trying to process my thoughts and feelings right now.
40:39Well, no parent ever looks at their little kid and thinks that he's going to be a murderer someday.
40:43Period.
40:45Being the parent of a murderer is, it's not easy.
40:50It can be lonely as well because people just don't understand.
40:54You think you killed somebody?
40:55No, I know I did.
40:56Up until that point, it never felt wrong to love either one of my children.
41:04I used my hands to suffocate my kids.
41:07Who did you use the belt on?
41:09The babies.
41:10Well, I'll tell you right now, if there is a God and they do forgive him, then send me to
41:13hell.
41:14Because I don't want to be there with them.
41:17That was pain out the window and I was telling him, you're going to fry .
41:19You're going to fry for this.
41:21And I pray to God my son never sees this.
41:24But I was going to shoot him in the back of the head.
41:26I swear to God, and it's so hard to make anyone believe, but I was looking at a devil.
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