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Watch Strip Law () free Season 1 Episode 2 online in HD on Dailymotion (2026).
Transcript
00:22Well, none of this makes any sense.
00:26Ah, that's better.
00:28Now everyone understands what's happening.
00:31Anything to add, Mr. Milk?
00:33This motion is basically a formality at this point.
00:35My client, Mr. Kringle, has filed all necessary paperwork
00:39and notarized it with fingerprints that even look like snowflakes, kind of.
00:43Ho, ho, ho, your honor.
00:45Indeed.
00:46Well, if there are no further objections,
00:49I hereby grant exclusive Santa Claus jurisdiction in the state of Nevada
00:53to this man, Christopher Cross Kringle,
00:56and declare him the one true and only Santa Claus.
01:00I object.
01:01Ho, ho, hoo.
01:03Lincoln Gum, your franken-honor.
01:06My client, Harry Crimmins, is the real Santa Claus,
01:09and he has the right to have his challenge heard.
01:12Mr. Crimmins, do you have any evidence to back up your claim?
01:16I drove here in a red car.
01:19Good enough.
01:20This court shall determine which of these men is the real Santa Claus.
01:27Oh, and of course.
01:28..HAPPY HALLOWEEN.
01:31THING
01:34methodology
01:36Just, just, just come on in my mind
01:39Don't you ever like a mama monster?
01:42Hold on now
01:43Get with a mama monster
01:46It's a mama monster
01:47And then it's redhead now
01:50Wind, wind, wind down
01:53Wind, wind, wind, wind
01:55Just, just, just, come on in my mind
01:59Come on in my mind
02:00You know I love you, baby
02:03Stop! Yeah!
02:15Halloween is just around the corner.
02:19Everyone is hanging up their bats.
02:22Oh, I love Halloween.
02:24It's the one night of the year I can give candy to kids and no one bats an eye.
02:29Come on.
02:30I like kids and I think they should have candy.
02:32Why does everyone assume the worst about me just because of how I look and act?
02:37I'm gonna make you beautiful, sweetheart.
02:42So, Irene, got any big trick-or-treating plans?
02:45Nah, I'm too grown up for that now.
02:47But I have picked out my costume for sneaking out and throwing rocks at cars.
02:50DHL delivery person.
02:51Everyone loves DHL because it's usually something actually good, like from Europe.
02:56I always have trouble coming up with a costume worthy of me.
02:59I was thinking maybe God, but then I landed on God's hot teenage girlfriend, Morgan.
03:04Anyway, I'm glad someone's having fun.
03:06Your uncle's been a real work-hole lately.
03:07You mean workaholic?
03:09No.
03:09Are you done yet?
03:10We've got a big shot client arriving any second.
03:13Is there coffee?
03:14Do we have a vacuum?
03:15Screw it.
03:15I'll do it with my hands.
03:17Whoa, Lincoln.
03:18We just won a case.
03:20We've earned a little break.
03:21I know.
03:22Let's go to Thailand for eight months.
03:23Come on.
03:24Believe in yourself enough not to be so desperate.
03:25Believing in yourself is for mass shooters and Judd Apatow's kids.
03:30I live in the real world, where things only work out if we work them out.
03:36Should these skeletons be wearing ties?
03:38I'm just saying, you don't have to represent every maniac who shows up at the door.
03:42Maniac at the door.
03:43Is this gum legal?
03:45I have a man to destroy.
03:48The real Kris Kringle.
03:50I heard about this guy.
03:52Found a loophole to get himself legally declared Santa Claus in New York.
03:56Now he travels from state to state doing the same thing.
03:59But not here.
04:00I was born and raised in Vegas.
04:03I worked hard to make my fortune here by finding it in the desert.
04:07If anyone's gonna be our Santa, it should be me, which is where you come in.
04:11Well, Mr. Crimmins.
04:13Harry, Harry Crimmins.
04:15It sounds like Merry Christmas, but not too much.
04:18Well, this will be a real fight.
04:20Kringle's attorney is what we in the legal profession call a double threat.
04:24An aggressive lawyer and tall.
04:27Do you need legal assistance?
04:29Hire me, Mike Milk, the tall lawyer.
04:32I fight for the little guy, because to me, all guys are little.
04:36I'm here when justice is out of reach.
04:41My last lawyer was 5'11".
04:43And yeah, he won my workman's comp case.
04:45But when I saw him next to Mike, I threw up and fired him.
04:49He's so tall.
04:51So call Mike Milk, the tall lawyer.
04:56That's one tall hundred.
04:58T-A-L-L.
05:00See you soon, Harry.
05:01Thank you, Lincoln.
05:02You're a very good boy.
05:04Haha, just like Santa would say.
05:07Yes, Santa.
05:08Lincoln, now I'm not one to judge a good dirt bag.
05:11I've had more gold rings fall out of me than Sonic the Hedgehog.
05:14But are you sure you want to help this guy become our Santa Claus?
05:16Why?
05:17Just because of how he looks and acts?
05:19Thank you!
05:20Plus, he's secretly loaded, and we need money.
05:23So one old guy gets a ceremonial title instead of another old guy, and we get paid.
05:29But how do we figure out what makes someone legally Santa?
05:34Christmas movie marathon!
05:36My mom has them all on DVD.
05:38Santa Has Fallen, How the Shrimp Stole Shrimpmas, White Chicks 2, White Chicksmas, even Die Hard.
05:44Wow.
05:45Yeah.
05:45Die Hard is a Christmas movie.
05:47I've never thought about that before.
05:49I am so proud of you.
05:50I am so clever for noticing that.
05:53Well, it's 115 degrees out.
05:55And so, I put marshmallows in gin.
05:58That truly is a wonderful life.
06:00Almost as wonderful as war bonds!
06:03Buy war bonds, everyone!
06:06Which one next?
06:07What about single and ready to jingle?
06:09Nah, that one's a bummer.
06:11Everyone knows the real Santa would never divorce Mrs. Claus and hit the dating scene.
06:15Not when she puts up with all his traveling.
06:19Good one, Irene.
06:20The real Santa.
06:22Totally.
06:23Wait, what?
06:24Wait, what?
06:25Did you not...
06:26I mean, I just assumed.
06:28Irene, you do know about Santa, right?
06:31You're like 13 or 19 years old.
06:33You're the one that told me my real dentist probably wouldn't be asking for money on cash app.
06:36What?
06:38Shut up.
06:39Of course I know about Santa.
06:41I know everything adults know, like Boingo hotspots.
06:44Hey, we all believe stupid stuff when we're younger.
06:47Hell, I believed in King Kong until I joined the army.
06:50Irene, I guess your mom thought you were too smart to need this talk,
06:54but Santa is just a story parents tell their kids in order to relive their own childhoods.
07:00Because in the adult world, no one gives you anything,
07:03so you have to work for every disheveled lunatic who will hire you
07:07until you finally get to collapse into your early grave.
07:10Wow, so inspiring.
07:12Merry Christmas.
07:13Okay, that's enough TV.
07:15Glem, Sheila, that jury is gonna eat Kringle up.
07:18I need you guys to come up with some Christmas magic for our side.
07:23You got it.
07:23So, Santa sees everything, right?
07:25What if we have him describe the first time Hitler masturbated?
07:29Not that, but also nothing like that.
07:31Irene, dig up any dirt on Kringle you can find.
07:34Nobody is that perfect.
07:35Mm-hmm, sure.
07:36I mean, it'd be stupid to believe this world had any magic in it, so...
07:40I'll just go destroy what's left.
07:42Sounds good.
07:42I'll pick up Crimmins.
07:43We've got a hearing to disrupt.
07:53Recordable doorbell, take one.
07:55Shit!
07:55The old doorbell messed up the recording for the new doorbell.
07:58I am gonna kill whoever's out there.
08:00I'm gonna kill whoever's out here!
08:03Oh, Mr. Gum, come in.
08:06I was just making coffee.
08:08Sorry about the mess.
08:10Those damn lazy elves.
08:13Right.
08:15Mr. Crimmins, we should get going.
08:17Kringle's motion is scheduled for this morning.
08:20Nonsense.
08:20There's always time for a tour of Santa's workshop.
08:29These are my daughters.
08:31Shush, Emily!
08:33Sorry.
08:34They just won't stop laughing.
08:38Traps must be full.
08:40I know you're supposed to eat the eggs before they get out of hand, but who needs all those erections?
08:46Yeah.
08:47Look, Mr. Crimmins, if we want to win this case, you're gonna have to be able to make a halfway,
08:53un-terrifying impression on people.
08:54Well, that should be easy for the real Santa Claus.
08:59Oh, I'm sorry.
09:01Do you not believe in Santa and, by extension, not want the money he's offering you?
09:07What?
09:07Of course I do.
09:08He does exist, like the M&M said.
09:11Santa can smell lies, child.
09:14By the time this is over, you'll believe.
09:17You'll all believe.
09:19After all, if I wasn't Santa, how could I go up this chimney?
09:28Look!
09:29Red car, Lincoln.
09:30Like Santa.
09:32Red!
09:33This court shall determine which of these men is the real Santa Claus.
09:38Woo-hoo!
09:39Wait until I tell my brother, the devil.
09:48Hello?
09:49Oh, hey there.
09:50This is Makila's mom over at Kid Rock Elementary.
09:53Don't you know it?
09:55Makila forgot the dang homework assignment.
09:57Can I talk to Jeffrey for a Michigan minute?
09:59Drop the con, sister.
10:01Makila never forgot a homework assignment in her life.
10:03Who are you?
10:04Name's Irene.
10:05Need the skinny on a fat man.
10:07Goes by Kringle.
10:08Kringle.
10:09There's a name I never wanted to hear again.
10:12You testified for him in Michigan.
10:13Sat on his lap, called him Santa.
10:15I want to know what it cost.
10:17Him or me?
10:17The old man needed a kid to convince the jury he was Santa.
10:21Told me he'd bring me the gift I've always wanted.
10:24Santa can make any toy, right?
10:26I wanted a custom video game where my dead dog Brambles eats my stepdad.
10:30Christmas comes around, and what's waiting for me under the tree?
10:33Rupert Grint's Fractions dungeon!
10:36An educational game!
10:39That's when I realized I'd been had.
10:42There is no Santa.
10:43Only a stupid baby would think otherwise.
10:47Oh, I see.
10:48Just hit the last stop on the Polar Express, huh?
10:51Why do adults lie and call it love?
10:54Why does Rupert Grint murder Fractions?
10:56Who can say?
10:57Just watch your back, kid.
11:05Jesus Christ!
11:11What the fuck are you doing?
11:14We're making a reindeer fly!
11:16You wanted Christmas magic, dumbass!
11:18This is somehow worse than the Hitler idea.
11:21Irene, please tell me you have some good news.
11:23Well, Kringle lied to a kid in Michigan to secure his testimony.
11:27That's great.
11:27But other than that, he's squeaky clean.
11:30He's even the face of Christmas Cola,
11:32the only year-round Christmas-themed soda!
11:34Irene, did you sleep?
11:35You look like me when I make my own DimaTap out of expired DimaTap.
11:40My brain won't stop going.
11:42What else do I believe that isn't true, huh? Huh?
11:44Can doves not actually cry?
11:46Are porn stars not really in love with each other?
11:48Was JFK not assassinated by Patton Oswalt?
11:52Oh, honey, everyone knows it was Steve Harvey Oswalt.
11:55What about you, Lincoln?
11:56What's Harry's deal?
11:57Uh, he's great, too.
11:59Also, donates children to hospitals.
12:01Eh, keep digging.
12:02There must be something.
12:03Is thunder not God bowling?
12:05Did David Bowie not really go live on a farm upstate?
12:09Is Andrea even Meachie?
12:13Ladies and gentlemen, what makes a name legal?
12:15Some people go by Jim, but are secretly named James.
12:19All that matters is that a name be recognized by the U.S. government.
12:24Bring him in, boys!
12:29Each address to Santa Claus.
12:31Therefore, the post office, a branch of the federal government,
12:34recognizes this man, Kris Kringle, to be the one and only Santa Claus.
12:40Well, I'm convinced.
12:41Mr. Gum, you're opening arguments.
12:44I want to tell you the story of another man.
12:47A man named Glem.
12:49Yellow!
12:50Glem recently received this mug, reading World's Greatest Grandpa.
12:55Glem, are you the world's greatest grandpa?
12:57Nope.
12:58You see, ladies and gentlemen, just because something is written down doesn't make it true.
13:03Objection.
13:03Relevance.
13:04Anyone can buy a mug.
13:05Except that Glem received this particular mug during his time in federal prison.
13:10Also hand-delivered by a federal employee.
13:14Glem, what were you in for?
13:16I auctioned off my grandson's diary to foreign perverts.
13:21Do these sound like the actions of the world's greatest grandpa?
13:38I think Denver's gonna go all the way this year.
13:41Unless they're bums, then Baltimore will go all the way.
13:43Hey, delivery person, what are your sports opinions?
13:47Sorry, I don't watch mainstream sports because of the politics.
13:51Now that's an adult opinion!
14:02Insider trading?
14:03Illegitimate kids?
14:05A picture where he's eating Chinese food at a movie theater while holding a calendar that says December 25th?
14:11This is exactly the kind of dirt Uncle Lincoln needs!
14:14To destroy the magic of Santa for kids everywhere.
14:17Hey, wait a minute! Sports have always been inherently political!
14:20Go!
14:24No!
14:51Uh, boo, Suede Shoes.
14:54Thank you. Thank you very much.
14:56Another round for my best customers, who I love so much.
15:01Thanks, Mr. O'Raviolio.
15:02All right, guys, the trial started off well,
15:05but we really lost some ground in testimony.
15:08The best part about being Santa is bringing joy
15:11to children all over the world.
15:14The best part about being Santa is turning into an owl
15:18so I can watch married women fold laundry.
15:22Okay, but have you seen a married woman fold laundry?
15:26Mm, I know that's right.
15:28Uh, Sheila, we could really use some magic here.
15:32Do you have anything?
15:33I know. You know how there's lots of suicides on Christmas?
15:36Maybe.
15:36Uh, mm, look, Lincoln, I'm trying my best,
15:41but Christmas magic is just too wholesome for me.
15:43Yep, I think I'm gonna bail on this being the thing
15:45I'm doing this week.
15:46What the hell, Sheila?
15:48Sorry.
15:48Hey, Glem, wanna go play Halloween pranks on Steve Nichols?
15:51Do I?
15:52Pranken's my middle name.
15:54Actually, Pranken, which is German for
15:56God has forsaken this child.
15:59Great.
16:00Glem and Sheila are off doing pranks,
16:02my investigator still believes in Santa,
16:04and I'm on my own.
16:05Again, can I have one employee who doesn't need babysitting?
16:09You want grown-ups? Fine.
16:11Irene, are you even allowed to be in here?
16:15Oh, why? Because I'm a naive kid, right?
16:19Well, I guess you don't need this naive kid's evidence.
16:22Starting now, I'm 100% adult.
16:25I'm gonna read free articles in the incognito window,
16:28listen to cutesy murder podcasts,
16:31and use GIFs when I text.
16:33Irene, no!
16:34Santa, how did you get into the science lab
16:37here at Boston Public?
16:39Wow, I am really scraping the bottom of the barrel here.
16:42Why?
16:43Through the famous Boston Public chimney, of course.
16:48That's it.
16:49The general area.
16:52That's the story of the first time
16:55Adolf Hitler masturbated.
16:58No more questions, Your Honor.
17:01Okay, Harry, I know this case has been bumpy.
17:04How so?
17:05But I've got a plan.
17:06Watch.
17:07Your Honor, I call for a Santa off.
17:10Yeah, good idea.
17:13Oh, that's probably what we should have done to begin with.
17:16I'll allow it.
17:17T'was the night before Christmas
17:20when all through the castle
17:21My monsters were having a yuletide hassle
17:25The tree was all trimmed in ghoulish things
17:28Like werewolf fangs and vampire wings
17:34No clue
17:37Didn't act like good monsters, sure
17:40They found themselves a new prey
17:43They planned to rob Santa's sleigh
17:47They were making a li...
17:48What are you guys doing up there?
17:50Lunch ended an hour ago.
17:52Everyone's waiting for you at the Santa off.
17:55They were up to no clue
17:57The monsters holiday
17:59Didn't act like a good monster should
18:01The monsters holiday
18:02They found themselves a new play
18:05The monsters holiday
18:06They planned to rob Santa's sleigh
18:09The mummy was to signal from the castle roof
18:12At the very first sound of a ra-
18:23AHHHHHHHHH
18:24Is it me?
18:25Or are we the best pranksters on earth?
18:28Right?
18:29But pranking Steve is like shooting fish in a barrel
18:31And I stopped going to that place a week after it opened
18:33I know what you mean
18:34It's almost like it's not even worth pranking
18:38Unless you prank the very best
18:43We tied the Santa off
18:45It all comes down to closing arguments
18:47I've got one last chance to save the case, my credibility, and whatever's left of Irene's childhood
18:53Ugh, yeah, we were supposed to get away to Orlando one of these weekends
18:58But, you know, Dennis
19:00He has to watch his rugby
19:02One sec
19:03Why is my childhood crush calling me?
19:05Isaiah Dandridge from home-
19:07Ow!
19:07Ow!
19:08Ha!
19:08You fell for the old spring-loaded blade
19:11The cell phone and also childhood crush not actually calling trick
19:15All right, not bad, Glim
19:17Say, you haven't touched your drink
19:19Maybe I'll get a fresh one
19:24Ha-ha! $3,000 injector seat prank, you rube!
19:27That drink was a red heron
19:30Yup, puffer fish toxin
19:32Good sponsor for two, Mr. President
19:40Mind if I join you?
19:42Mr. Kringle?
19:43I-I don't think we're supposed to be talking
19:45Yes, bit naughty of me, isn't it?
19:48I won't tell if you don't
19:51Quite a show you put on today
19:53Why are you wasting your talents defending that syphilitic burnout?
19:58Look, dude, some lawyers get to pick their clients
20:01I gotta work for whichever Santa will have me
20:03Ho-ho-ho! Is that all?
20:06Well, anyone could be your client
20:08What are you saying?
20:11You don't really believe in yourself, do you?
20:13All the hustling, the ambulance chasing, wondering if each job might be your last
20:18Christmas Cole is looking for new in-house counsel
20:20High six figures, corner office
20:23All you have to do is the right thing
20:25Are you trying to bribe me into throwing the case?
20:28I've shown you how the world works
20:30There was no Santa until I made him real
20:33Me
20:34That's power, and that power can be a gift, Lincoln
20:38To little boys who behave
20:42Wow, big ol' wow
20:44Everything I told Irene about the shittiness of the adult world
20:47Is because of guys like you
20:50This city's kids deserve a better Santa
20:52Irene deserves better
20:55I don't know the people in your life
20:57You sound just like Sheila
20:58You know, Crimmins might be nuts
21:00But at least he actually believes in something
21:03And so do I
21:04That I'm gonna kick your ass in court tomorrow
21:06Merry Christmas, asshole
21:08It's October 30th
21:09Well, then happy Halloween, good sir
21:15I feel like a new man, Harry
21:17Did three ghosts visit you too?
21:19No, but I'm ready to give a passionate closing argument that will win over that jury and make you Santa
21:25Great! Love your energy, except instead I'm gonna give my own closing argument
21:30What?
21:30But, but we'll lose, I'll lose
21:33Irene will fully commit to this boring millennial adult shtick she's doing
21:38Lincoln, you took this case because you didn't believe in yourself or Santa
21:43But you kept going because deep down you knew there is magic in this world and that's worth fighting for
21:50All I'm asking for is one more leap
21:55For anyone in this courtroom who still doesn't believe, Mr. Crimmins, I mean Santa Claus, will give his own closing
22:03statement
22:06I owe your honor an apology
22:09There was a gift you wanted, wasn't there? Something very special
22:13One Christmas you looked under the tree and it wasn't there
22:17You haven't believed in me since
22:19Well, I was rummaging through my workshop and I found something I'd like to give you before you make your
22:26decision
22:27Something I should have given you all those Christmases ago
22:37What? It can be! It's impossible! Here it is! The very gift I always wanted! $30,000!
22:47What? And if the jurors will please look under their chairs, I believe they'll find some gifts as well
22:54Sorry, they're a little late
22:57$25,000!
23:00$18,000! $40,000!
23:04Oh, Santa! You really did get my letter! You really, truly did!
23:08Your Honor, only the real Santa could know the gifts that all these people secretly wanted!
23:13Agree! Jury, you agree! Great!
23:15This court rules in favor of Mr. Crimmins, Nevada's one and only Santa Claus!
23:20We object! This is open bribery!
23:22Oh, spoken like a true Scrooge! Mr. Crimmins, you are dismissed!
23:33Hello, everybody! Okay, okay, calm down!
23:35Well, today, I, George Wallace, mayor of Las Vegas, I grant Harry Crimmins, a.k.a. Santa Claus, the key
23:44to the city!
23:46This, of course, represents the smaller, real key to the city, the real key to the city Harry and his
23:51duties as Santa Claus can use to enter any of our houses at any time!
23:56I'm gonna get real weird with it, too!
23:59Vegas Santa says, give Daddy a bowl of your teeth!
24:04Huh. Didn't know I was helping with that part.
24:07Sorry, Irene. There's nothing stupid about believing in things.
24:10I know. In fact, you prove Santa is real.
24:13And he's a freak!
24:15The world is full of magic. Just in a gross-and-off-putting way.
24:19Welcome to being a grown-up.
24:22Hey, Chris, for what it's worth, you really do look just like Santa.
24:26Fuck you, Lincoln Gum. I am Santa.
24:30Nevada can kiss my bowl full of jelly ass!
24:40Goodbye, Santa! Goodbye, Lord Kong!
24:44Hey, what's wrong with Glem?
24:45Oh, he's up to his tits on peyote.
24:50What about that dude? Is he okay?
24:55Probably not.
24:56Anyway, now to drop Glem off at Vegas' scariest haunted house.
25:00Happy Halloween from the Bride of Frankenstein!
25:03Oh, yeah, it's Halloween.
25:05Pretty unsatisfying how I've been focusing on Christmas all week.
25:08Oh, well...
25:11Trick or treat!
25:12Sorry, I don't have any candy.
25:14Glem Blarchman sends his regards!
25:19They were up to no good.
25:21No!
25:22You didn't act like good ones, are you sure?
25:26I mean, all these holes are new.
25:29Oh!
25:35They were up to no good.
25:37You didn't act like good ones, are you sure?
25:42I mean, all these holes are new.
26:16Chirp.
27:12Chirp.
27:23Chirp.
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