- 10 hours ago
The Lady Jane Episode 1 A Royal Romance Unfolds
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00:07Long, long ago, in a land not that far away, a succession of kings believed God granted them the right
00:15to rule England however they chose.
00:18You know Henry VIII, giant red-headed Tudor king, treated his wives like Kleenex, one blow and you're out.
00:24Divorced, beheaded, died. Divorced, beheaded, survived.
00:29Next on the throne was his son, Edward.
00:32Oh dear, when he died, the kingdom expected the crown to go to his half-sisters, Mary or even Elizabeth,
00:39but instead came a total bloody shocker, Lady Jane Grey.
00:46Intellectual rebel, a bit of a pain in the arse, and a political pawn for her ambitious noble family, Jane
00:53was married without her consent and crowned queen against her will.
00:56Then, just nine days later, she was branded a traitor.
01:01And, wham, off with her head.
01:07Jane could have been the leader England needed, but instead, history remembers her as the ultimate damsel in distress.
01:15Fuck that. What if history were different?
01:47Never do anything you don't want to do.
01:48No, actually. In fact, I may never marry.
01:54Yes.
01:55Mock the person who's curing your vagina.
01:58How will you live? What will you do?
02:01What would your mother say?
02:02Lady Frances doesn't know.
02:03I don't really care what she thinks. I've got bigger plans.
02:06Go on, tell her.
02:08I'm writing the world's first complete compendium of England's medicinal herbs and their uses.
02:13Herbs.
02:14Herbs.
02:14Herbs.
02:16Text and drawings for those who can't read.
02:19I intend to publish it and sell it.
02:21Perhaps I can make enough money to actually live independently.
02:24Where is the bloody calendula officinalis?
02:27Jane.
02:28Found it.
02:28Duke of Leicester is coming.
02:30Bollocks. Is that a day?
02:32She told me to get flowers.
02:35Use it twice a day.
02:44Jane, look.
02:47New stable boy.
02:49Lush.
02:50Teach me how to ride.
02:52They put you down.
02:53They say I'm wrong.
02:55You tacky dick.
02:57You put them off.
02:59Level, level.
03:01Tone your dress.
03:03Level, level.
03:04The face is a mess.
03:06Level, level.
03:08How could they go?
03:10Tren, I love you so.
03:21How did you chew them?
03:23Shut up, Margaret.
03:23Oh, lovely.
03:25Shut up, Catherine.
03:25Shut up, all of you.
03:27And smile.
03:28Earn your key.
03:28When Jane's father died with no male heir, his great uncle once removed the Duke of Leicester inherited everything, leaving
03:38the grey widow and daughters dependent on Leicester's charity for their very survival.
03:51Dastardly crowds on the London road, hanging at Chepster.
03:54Oh, no, what a bother.
03:56I think we should burn them all.
03:58Margaret.
03:58Quite agree, Poppet.
04:00The latest division laws stipulate death for the trespassing Aethian menace, but not method.
04:08And interpretation is the enemy of efficiency.
04:14You've grown up, haven't you?
04:16Bless you, child.
04:19You'll be prettier if you smiled.
04:22Would I?
04:23Your Grace.
04:23Now, do you have the...
04:29Elevation eases my gout.
04:32Cherries are good for that.
04:34You know I read that...
04:35You read?
04:36In a book?
04:38I never permitted my wives, all dead in childbirth, the fruits of my loins are very large.
04:47I never permitted any of them to read or even own any books at all.
04:52Yes, why did you burden us with all this education, Mother?
04:55Because stupid women are tedious.
04:56What about stupid men?
04:58Eh, what's that?
04:59Oh, nothing, nothing, Your Grace.
05:00Lester, pray tell, do you have the confirmation?
05:03Ah, yes, indeed I do.
05:05Jane, sweet child, we have secured for you the most thrilling honor one can bestow upon a young noble woman.
05:16Your marriage.
05:18Oh, shit.
05:20My marriage?
05:23What?
05:24What would you say to believe that you're going to die of Rachel?
05:27Shut up!
05:28I'm sorry.
05:29You should be.
05:31You're wrong about everything.
05:32I do not look prettier when I smile, and I am not destined to be wretched.
05:37I am...
05:37Overwhelmed by the wonderful news.
05:39Now I will escort Jane to her chambers.
05:42Come along.
05:43Forgive her, Your Grace.
05:46I don't have to.
05:47How dare you put up my life with that cretin?
05:49You drove me to this.
05:50But I don't want to be married.
05:51You no longer define your life by what you don't want.
05:54You refuse to discuss suitors, or hunt, or dance, or do anything except for gossip with
06:01your servant and fiddle with those infernal herbs and books.
06:04Lord Guildford Dudley will be your husband.
06:08Guildford Dudley?
06:11Guildford Dudley?
06:13I've heard of him.
06:14The girls at court say he's vile.
06:15He drinks, fights, gambles.
06:18He cavorts with women of ill repute.
06:21He is the last man I would ever marry.
06:23Jane, this marriage protects us.
06:25Leicester will soon tire of his charity towards us.
06:28And I do not intend to leave my house for a wretched hovel in Croydon.
06:32Your father left us nothing.
06:34Our only wealth is blood.
06:37And you are pure, verity, and cousin to the king.
06:40The Dudleys will do anything for power.
06:42And they are very, very, very rich.
06:45You mercenary bitch.
06:48We do not do that anymore.
06:51In three days' time, you will be wed.
06:55I will do everything in my power to get out of this marriage.
07:00Jane, you have no power.
07:06My book.
07:08Where is my book?
07:10What did you do?
07:13I threw that wretched thing on the fire.
07:34There comes a point in everyone's life when you realise you simply cannot put up with your mother's bullshit for
07:41another moment.
07:55Tell me what pleases you.
07:59How this works.
08:02I'm not content to be with you in the daytime.
08:10I'm not content to be with you in the daytime.
08:17Girl, I want to be with you all of the time.
08:24I'm not content to be with you in the daytime.
08:34We're leaving.
08:35I was rather enjoying that.
08:37Wait, what did you say?
08:38We're leaving now, right now.
08:40We'll go north, find a village when everybody knows us.
08:42I'll make my cures and you can sell them.
08:44Are you crazy?
08:44I have been trapped here my entire life.
08:46If I marry, I will be trapped somewhere else.
08:48Now that is crazy.
08:49Jane, you don't know what it's like out there.
08:50You sound like...
08:53Like my mother.
08:54It's nearly dawn, we must hurry.
08:56It's dangerous.
08:57Aethians, the pack, people talk of civil war.
08:59You don't really believe that now, do you?
09:01I mean, when's the last time you even saw an Aethian?
09:03What do you know? You don't go anywhere.
09:06Jane, when I was a kid...
09:08Oh, your family kicked you out?
09:10Yes, you told me.
09:11There was a man involved.
09:12No, that's not...
09:13You won't be safe.
09:15I will never be safe when my mother is trying to barter me.
09:19I want my life to be mine.
09:21Forever.
09:23Jane.
09:23Then stay.
09:25Be fine on my own.
09:26You'll be dead in a week.
09:30We'll need some money.
09:33Do you like my ring?
09:35My sweet mother is a sound sleeper.
09:37At all the time I stand.
09:40I'm sorry.
09:44I'll be with you all that time of day.
09:49Go, I want to be with you.
09:50All that time of night.
09:52I'll be fine.
09:54I'll be with you all that time of day.
09:59Go...
09:59Go, I want to be with you all that time of night.
10:03Go, go, go, go, go, go.
10:07What?
10:09What's that sound?
10:17Ron!
10:22Harry!
10:28Come on!
10:30I'm coming!
10:53Stop!
10:54They're here!
10:58That's the thief that stole my ring and kidnapped my daughter.
11:01She didn't let go of her! It was me!
11:04It was me?
11:05It was me!
11:05It owned me, you langer!
11:06It was not you understand
11:08I forced it to come your maid will be hanged to the ceiling if she doesn't die in prison first
11:16Jane, forgive me
11:25Ethian
11:26Have you forgotten the punishment for hiding Ethian? I had no idea then you're a fool go home
11:43A hawk. Yes, Susanna is a hawk
11:48Did I mention that in this world some people can transform themselves into an animal?
11:53They're called Ethians. Everyone else like Jane is
11:57Verity Jane has always known about Ethians of course
12:01She just never expected that her maid her friend was one of them
12:06Jane was taught that Ethians are dangerous abominations sent by Satan to destroy the Verity way of life
12:12Poppycock of course as an Ethian you can't choose your animal form
12:17But you can switch back and forth whenever you please
12:21Ethianism skips generations and pops up now and again usually in puberty during a moment of high emotion
12:28One minute you're fighting with your sister the next bam you're a badger
12:33It's just one of those things you're born with like being left-handed or the color of your eyes
12:39For decades Ethians have been reviled persecuted banned and then King Henry renowned shithead that he was
12:46Exiled them to the wilderness where they must hunt beg or steal to survive
12:53Jane has always wondered what it's like to be an Ethian, but she'd never known one in real life and
13:01Real life as we know can be a real kick in the tits
13:06Why is Jane sulking?
13:08Mummy's right. Jane's just been difficult. Oh, how typical of you to be on her side
13:14Ow! Not fair! I wasn't ready!
13:17I have an idea
13:18Let's test all the servants with the dunking to see if they're Ethian
13:21A dunking?
13:23And who will feed you and make you fires when all the servants are dead?
13:28Take
13:29Ah! Margaret, you're right
13:33Tricked you
13:34Faint blood
13:36Margaret
13:36That's cheating
13:37You mispronounced
13:39Winning
13:47Where are you going?
13:50Where's she going?
13:52To London to see Lord Dudley
13:53Planning your wedding
13:55To London to see Lord Dudley
14:06Hey! Follow that barge
14:26You're right
14:28Lady Frances
14:29Lord Dudley
14:29Lord Dudley
14:31Lady Frances
14:34Lord Dudley
14:35Lord Dudley
14:42As you can see, we're installing new tapestries for the nuptials, straight from Firenze.
14:49Braised hog, peacock, pie, jellied egret, and my own favourite, roast dolphin.
14:55Oh, yum!
14:56Now, musical players, how do we feel about the French?
15:00Tepid.
15:01I know, filthy beast lovers, but the tunes.
15:05I must say, I'm enchanted to finally meet you. Everybody tells me you're very, very clever.
15:11Yes, I think my mother rather regrets my education.
15:13That's absolute.
15:14I jest.
15:16My cousin, King Edward and I shared tutors as children. He's my oldest friend.
15:21Well, kings don't have friends. They have subjects. And counsellors like moi.
15:26My lord, I'm here to meet your son.
15:28I'm afraid Guildford isn't here. He's out. He's busy doing things.
15:33Things. Drinking and or fighting. Indisposed with a woman of physical virtue.
15:38Oh, yes, I know all about those nerves.
15:41I quite understand. It's a big day.
15:44Now, do you know my other son, Stan, is also engaged to a Bavarian princess?
15:49Really?
15:50Oh, yes.
15:51Is she very rich?
15:52Filthy. Terrible outbreak of the plague there at the moment, so the wedding is postponed.
15:56But as I said to him, if she can survive the plague, she can survive marriage.
16:08Actually, Dudley and I have a marriage contract to discuss.
16:11I would like to say something first.
16:13Again? By all means, my dear girl.
16:17I don't want to marry your son.
16:20Nobody cares what you want.
16:23Now, when you buy a tapestry, you're not buying it for yourself. You're buying it for your descendants.
16:38Hazel!
16:42Oh, I missed the expressiveness!
16:44Silver, like a little coin. Go on then.
16:46Oh, I thought you wanted it! Come on, chumpyer!
16:49Come on, chumpyer! Come on!
16:49I mean, chumpyer, come on!
16:51Oh!
16:51nossos husbands!
16:54Stop that! Stop!
16:56How dare you hurt that child?
16:58It accosted me.
16:59You were teasing him. I saw it.
17:02What else are saying? Are you hurt?
17:03Is that worse?
17:06Give him those coins.
17:07No.
17:09Do it.
17:12Certainly, my lady.
17:15Oopsie.
17:17Really?
17:18I teach him a lesson about the evils of begging.
17:20Pox on you, fuckface.
17:24Watch out. They have fleas.
17:30Who is that man?
17:32Lord Dudley's son. He's a prat.
17:37That's Guilford Dudley.
17:40Jane knows that marrying such a prat is incon-fucking-ceivable.
17:47Jane needs a miracle.
17:48And the only people who can perform miracles are saints.
17:56And kings.
18:03King Edward took the throne at nine years old, after his father, King Henry, finally kicked the royal bucket.
18:12Edward's life changed from spending carefree days with his beloved cousin Jane, to being told by bossy-boots counsellors how
18:20to rule his own bloody kingdom.
18:22Three, two, one, go!
18:25Including, but not limited to, reading poorly written proclamations targeting Aetheans.
18:36Is there a problem, Your Majesty?
18:45My men...
18:50I would that I could be by your side on this day, and that you would call me friend.
18:56He's gone completely off script.
18:58Indeed, Lonson.
18:59Get the champ.
19:00I'll never know the rush of combat, or the joy of brotherhood in arms.
19:07But what I can give you is my unending respect and gratitude for your bravery and valour.
19:15So that we may assure our people, they are safe in England forever.
19:22Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!
19:30Your Majesty.
19:34Shall we?
19:39Just wait until everyone's gone.
19:42Who are those new soldiers on the black horses?
19:44I told you!
19:45Remember?
19:46Kingsland Guards.
19:47An elite force to protect you from the Aethean menace plaguing our land.
19:53First point of order.
19:56Beasts were caught sneaking into Grimsby.
20:00It was the pack.
20:01Yes?
20:03Yes?
20:03The so-called Aethean resistance.
20:07Beastly thugs and in clear violation of division law.
20:12No Aethean is permitted in verity cities, towns or properties under pain of death.
20:19Sentenced to death?
20:20Of course, it's the law.
20:22But you told me there is plenty of food for them in the wild.
20:24Why must they sneak into Grimsby?
20:26The mind boggles.
20:27I mean, have you ever been to Grimsby?
20:29Don't kill them, just put them back in the woods or something.
20:36My cousin Lady Jane Grey is here.
20:39Dismiss all of you.
20:40Out.
20:49Your Majesty.
20:50Stop it.
20:52How are you feeling?
20:53How's the cold?
20:54It's fine.
20:55Ghastly.
20:56It's fine, you know.
20:57Say hello to my new doggy.
20:59Petunia.
21:00Hello, Petunia.
21:01It's a very devoted little thing.
21:03Thought you'd let me out of her sight.
21:04Oh, she's beautiful.
21:05Tell me, Janey.
21:06How are your sisters?
21:07Is Margaret still pulling wings of butterflies?
21:10Shall we take some air?
21:18I have terrible news.
21:20My mother's forcing me to marry.
21:22Will you intervene?
21:24Jane, I've already approved it.
21:27Oh.
21:29Why?
21:30Why would you ever approve my marriage without my consent?
21:34Be logical.
21:35It is your duty to protect your family.
21:37I do not choose to marry.
21:39You think I chose this life?
21:41We're all born to certain roles.
21:43Our destiny is set.
21:45Anyway, what else would you possibly do?
21:47I do not want to be a wife.
21:49Just some man's property.
21:50Well, I do not want to be a dying king, but here we are.
21:52You're not dying.
21:56Are you?
22:01I have the affliction.
22:04Do you think I'll be the first to recover?
22:09The kingdom is in chaos.
22:12I'm doing my best, but soon I'll be gone.
22:14No.
22:15No, don't say that.
22:18This is the real world.
22:21The kings die.
22:23Noble women marry.
22:26No.
22:28Answer the chap in question.
22:30He cannot be that bad.
22:33His peter is one of my counsellors.
22:36You'll quickly improve him the way that you improved me.
22:40Did I need improving though?
22:42That is the question.
22:48I always thought marriage sounded rather fun.
22:52A partner.
22:54A friend.
22:57Someone to make you laugh.
22:58To tell you that you're not alone.
23:01I always thought I'd only marry if I could choose the man myself.
23:06Jeannie.
23:08That's just silly.
23:13Princess Mary and Princess Elizabeth, Bess for short, are the discarded offspring of two of King Henry's most unfortunate wives.
23:23Their brother, Edward, is youngest, but the first to get the crown because of-
23:27Chuck, Chuck, Bess.
23:27You know, his penis.
23:32Your Royal Highnesses?
23:34Where's our brother?
23:36He's in the gardens.
23:38Perambulating with Lady Jane Grey.
23:41Lady Jane Grey.
23:54Brothers.
23:57Majesty?
24:00Americans?
24:02Seymour pie?
24:04Oh, you look terrible.
24:05I don't think I look that bad, actually.
24:07Hello, brother. Cousin Jane.
24:09Your highness says it's a pleasure.
24:11Sweet, Bess. Jane and I, we were having some...
24:13Blackberry pie.
24:15Your favourite.
24:19Mary, thank you.
24:23How awful, brother.
24:25Infliction is such a dreadful way to die.
24:28Cough and cough until you cough your lungs.
24:31Edward?
24:33Brother...
24:34Edward?
24:37Oh, he can't breathe. It's the affliction.
24:40Guards, fetch Dr. Botts!
24:41We need pulmonaria, lungwort, the lilac flower.
24:46Plant it over there, please.
24:48Look at me.
24:49Harry!
24:52Jane!
24:53Jane!
24:54Jane!
24:57Jane!
25:01It's the green.
25:10Jane!
25:10Jane saved the king's life.
25:11Jane saved the king's life.
25:12Jane saved the king's life.
25:13I am here!
25:14Ah, Dr. Botts.
25:16I am here!
25:21Another attack.
25:22Oh dear me, I forgot my forceps.
25:26You may wish to avert your eyes.
25:29I'm going in.
25:35That was exciting, wasn't it?
25:38Exciting?
25:39I can't leave Edward like this.
25:41Will you check if your medic has Elfdok to her?
25:44His Majesty enjoys the finest medical care.
25:46In the kingdom.
25:47Ta-ta.
26:00Might I venture a suggestion, Your Highness?
26:06Boiled kitten tea with urine.
26:09An old man's urine, ideally.
26:13Oh, lovely.
26:14Lovely.
26:14No kitten tea.
26:19Your Majesty, I only just heard.
26:21Oh, finally he turns up.
26:23Where is Jane?
26:24Why, I sent her home.
26:27I think the time has come to appoint your successor.
26:31I know.
26:33I'm not afraid of death.
26:35Well, that's not true.
26:36I'm petrified.
26:36I'm petrified.
26:36You have the strength of a thousand lions.
26:38Your Majesty, it is incumbent upon me as Lord Protector to confirm that your elder sister,
26:44Mary, is indeed the rightful heir to the throne and the only choice to keep our kingdom safe
26:48from the rampaging hordes of satanic beasts.
26:52Must you be so dramatic?
26:55The entire kingdom agrees.
26:57I do not agree.
27:00I do not agree.
27:04I do not agree.
27:27Who are we kidding?
27:29Spaniards?
27:29The, the, the, the, the, the.
27:31And anyway, Henry went on to divorce Catherine.
27:35So, is Mary's claim even legally valid?
27:38You see, technically she's a bastard.
27:41Now, what about Princess Bess?
27:44Her mother was an Aethian.
27:45The people would never accept it.
27:47You're absolutely right.
27:49Seymour.
27:50Now, what if there was somebody else?
27:53Someone with direct royal lineage, perhaps, engaged to a highborn verity.
28:00Someone who could, oh, I don't know, golly, wear the crown until such time as they could produce a son.
28:08Lady Jane.
28:09Lady Jane Grey, your cousin.
28:11Oh, what a marvellous idea.
28:13Queen Jane?
28:14It's a terrible idea.
28:16But it's his royal highness's idea, are you saying it's terrible?
28:20She's a girl.
28:21Girls can't rule.
28:22Jane could rule with our help until such time as her son can be king.
28:26What a happy coincidence.
28:28Jane's husband-to-be is your son.
28:31The future king would be his grandson.
28:34Oh, my.
28:34I hadn't thought of that.
28:35Queen Jane.
28:36That's absurd.
28:37Has a ring to it, doesn't it?
28:39Sort of squabbling.
28:40I have made my choice.
28:44Take my will to the chantry for safekeeping.
28:47You may only open this in the event of my death and not before.
28:59I say, do you think this will take you very much longer?
29:04I shall take a horse.
29:05I don't live very far.
29:07Oh, Seymour wouldn't approve, my lady.
29:09Well, he certainly wouldn't approve of my catching my death in the cold.
29:13And neither would my cousin.
29:15The king?
29:20Dudley, you swinish snake.
29:23Swine and a snake.
29:25This matter of succession.
29:26I bow to King Edward's wishes, whatever they may be.
29:29May the devil take you, Dudley.
29:31You know, you really must calm down.
29:33This level of anger, it's simply toxic.
29:35I can't.
29:36Breathe, my dear man.
29:37Let us hope he favours the rightful inheritor in Princess Mary.
29:42If he names Lady Jane, I cannot be responsible for what happens next.
29:46Of course you'd not be responsible for what happens next.
29:49You'd be superfluous.
29:52Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a wedding to plan.
30:01Lord Seymour?
30:02Come here.
30:10Lord Seymour, I've already made my choice.
30:12I need to rest.
30:14Majesty, you must be.
30:17Princess Mary's blackberry pie, she's a dote, isn't she?
30:19Always looking out for your health.
30:21I do it to you, me.
30:23God!
30:24Take this muck to the kennel and kill it.
30:27No!
30:27You are weak in mind and body.
30:29This thing needs to be destroyed and I should take great pleasure in doing it myself.
30:32Do not touch.
30:35My dog.
30:38Dismissed.
30:45For the first time in Jane's entire life, no one knows where she is.
30:51She is alone and free.
30:53She can finally escape, ride north, discover, no, create her destiny.
31:00Wait a minute.
31:02What's that?
31:05Guards.
31:06Guards.
31:06A search party, clearly sent by King Edward Anne slash or her dratted mother to find her.
31:12But, as they say in the classics, not today, Satan.
31:19Jane needs somewhere to hide.
31:21Like an empty woodsman's hut or a nice hay bale.
31:24Somewhere no one would ever think to look.
31:52Somewhere no one would ever think to look.
31:54I cheated, you godfather.
31:56Do not, you dumb fuck.
31:58You foolish me.
32:00Whoa, whoa, whoa. Do you mind if I interrupt?
32:04Arm wrestling is an ancient art.
32:08The winner must be humble.
32:10And the loser gracious.
32:12Go shag a beast, you posh wanker.
32:13Yeah, fuck off.
32:15Very well.
32:16I'll fetch the fuck.
32:20And now we're gonna gut you.
32:22Gut me with what?
32:26Are you looking for these?
32:39And now I have your attention,
32:41shall I torture you with a poem?
32:46No.
32:47Too late.
32:49May a mess provisitum in Tabernamori.
32:52Ubi vina proxima moriantis.
32:56Hooray!
32:58Thank you!
32:59Have a great day!
33:02Please, come on!
33:18Let us take a moment to reassure our viewers that there is no such thing as love at first sight.
33:24But lust at first sight.
33:28Oh, yes.
33:31Totally a thing.
33:33So do you come here often?
33:37Jane is the first person in history to ever use that line.
33:41And, two seconds later, the first to regret it.
33:47Oops.
33:48Oops.
33:48How's your response?
33:49So you could recite the art poet standing on a table in a dirt floor tavern, but you can't muster
33:53a simple apology.
33:54I said oops.
33:56You mispronounced wiener, by the way.
33:59Viener.
34:00Where'd you learn your Latin?
34:01In a ditch.
34:02Who would teach Latin in a ditch?
34:04Oh, you're missing the point.
34:05The point being.
34:05Your mediocre Latin and disappointing table manners.
34:08That we had a table?
34:09No.
34:09Again, missing the point.
34:11Has anybody ever told you that you're an insufferable pedant?
34:13Oh, where I come from, pedantry is a virtue.
34:16Where I come from, amiability trumps semantics.
34:18Amiability is for the meek.
34:19Amiability is for the amiable.
34:22You were the rudest man I've ever met.
34:23Well, the knight is young.
34:25Mingled.
34:26Oh, I intend to.
34:29Goodnight.
34:30Wait.
34:34Who are you?
34:35Who are you?
34:37Excuse me.
34:38No.
34:39No.
34:39No.
34:40You lot can't be here.
34:42We just came for a drink, mate.
34:43I don't want any trouble.
34:45Who's asking you nice thing?
34:47No trouble.
34:49You had my word.
34:50And I said, no.
34:51Leave.
34:53Why is he getting them out?
34:56Good evening!
34:59Come with me.
35:00That's it.
35:01What?
35:03Oh, sh...
35:04I said, good evening, my good people.
35:07We have it on excellent authority that a certain beast might be in here.
35:13Goes by the name of Archer.
35:17He's wanted for robbery, arson, sedition.
35:22Sedition?
35:23That's a new one.
35:23Well, I do try.
35:28Hunting scum makes me ever so thirsty.
35:38Hand him over or we dunk.
35:41Every last one of you.
35:49What do you think?
35:49You up for it?
35:51Yeah.
35:51Fuck it.
35:53Why don't you leave him alone, you bunch of thugs?
35:57I'm Archer.
36:01Then you're coming with me.
36:06Right.
36:07Let's go.
36:17This door leads outside.
36:19Kill that fucking man!
36:21No.
36:37This is madness.
36:39I never knew things were like this.
36:40You've never seen a bear in a bar before?
36:43Take the move!
36:45No!
36:45No!
36:46No!
36:47No!
36:48No!
36:48No!
36:49No!
36:50No!
36:50No!
36:50No!
37:00Hey!
37:02Hey! More guards are coming!
37:04Archer! Archer's are here!
37:06Let's get out of here now!
37:07Susanna!
37:09Susanna?
37:10Susanna, come on!
37:15Mostra, come with me.
37:21No.
37:27What are you doing here?
37:28What are you doing here?
37:29Susanna, come on!
37:30Let's go!
37:31I'm so sorry.
37:32It's all mine.
37:33You won't have all you here.
37:34Beast or maiden?
37:36Maiden.
37:36A verity maiden in British.
37:38I don't think so.
37:38Susanna, go!
37:42Aiding in the betting Satan's spawn.
37:44That'll be exile for you.
37:45Exile sounds fine, actually.
37:47How about a nice dunking instead?
37:49Take her away!
37:57Eels.
38:00Yummy.
38:03Shall we have a nibble?
38:09Your Majesty.
38:11Elysian.
38:11Calm down and listen to me.
38:13Your great-grandmother sent me.
38:14No, you lie.
38:15My great-grandmother is dead.
38:16God!
38:17Is she?
38:18Then who gave me this?
38:22To be yet so cross, she was buried with it.
38:25No, she wasn't.
38:27She's alive.
38:28And she sent me here because she suspected that you do not have the affliction.
38:32And she was right.
38:33But you are being poisoned.
38:36I can smell it in your food.
38:38I know.
38:38It's a lot to process.
38:41No, no, that actually explains a lot.
38:43We must go to her.
38:44Now.
38:44But who is poisoning me?
38:46I don't know.
38:48But we need to get you out of here.
38:49I...
38:52Sorry.
38:52Do you have something that I could wear?
38:54We're not normally so stark as when we change, but I was.
38:58Because...
38:58Do you know what?
38:59It's a long story.
39:00I'll tell you about it some other time.
39:02There's a robe just there.
39:03Cheers.
39:03At this moment, Edward has two major revelations.
39:08One, the dog girl is telling the truth.
39:11And two, he is not interested in women, romantically.
39:15He always imagined girls look like men without their clothes.
39:19Edward has led, let us remember, a deeply sheltered life.
39:24Now, you get dressed.
39:26And we will be off.
39:27Like a tart, Snickers.
39:29I'm not going anywhere with you.
39:30What?
39:31Why not?
39:32Well, until about five minutes ago, you were a dog.
39:34And I am the king, and someone is trying to kill me.
39:37I must find them and punish them, obviously.
39:40But...
39:40I have spoken.
39:41Granny will be most vexed.
39:44Come in.
39:52Not hungry, Your Majesty?
39:54No.
39:56Take his away.
40:10Dearest Petunia, I think you might have saved my life.
40:16Good evening, Your Majesty.
40:28How's my baby brother?
40:31Waker than a Sicilian's virtue.
40:35And his will for succession is...
40:37Done.
40:41However, if...
40:43However.
40:48Something happen?
40:50No.
40:51Tell me what happened.
40:52Nothing happened.
40:54You are the natural choice pudding pie.
40:58The entire kingdom wants you and you alone to succeed him.
41:02I will be queen.
41:05And I will cleanse England of Satan's beasts.
41:11And I will not have any nasty surprises.
41:18Oh, no, please!
41:19Ah, yes.
41:21A dunking.
41:22Torture to force a suspected Aethion to change.
41:27Or die.
41:37Right.
41:38Who's next?
41:40What about her?
41:41What?
41:42She out want to escape.
41:43Might be a beef.
41:44No, I'm not Aethion.
41:46No, I'm not.
41:47Don't you.
41:48No!
41:49No!
41:49No, please, please.
41:51I won't change or drown.
41:52Are you hurting me?
41:54That's the portmark.
41:55Stop!
41:58That is Lady Jane Grey.
42:01Cousin to His Majesty King Edward.
42:04And I am ordering you to cease drowning her immediately.
42:27I shall have those men flogged to death.
42:30It's as close as Francis will ever get to saying,
42:34I love you.
42:36Mother, about the wedding.
42:40Please.
42:43Please don't make me marry him.
42:47I'll only say this once.
42:51If you don't marry Guildford Dudley tomorrow,
42:55I shall be forced to marry your sister Catherine
42:59to the Duke of Leicester, toe and all.
43:02You wouldn't.
43:04Try me.
43:18If only Jane could think of another way out of her unwanted wedding.
43:22But her thoughts keep drifting back to the tavern
43:27and that intriguing yet infuriating young man.
43:30Not spending more time with intriguing yet infuriating young men in taverns
43:35was one of the chief injustices of Jane's life.
43:38Her existence would be all injustice now.
43:41Marriage, motherhood, death.
43:44In quick succession, if statistics are anything to go by.
43:48Die, kitty, die.
43:50Better be alive, man.
43:51Margaret, get out.
43:52You know the servants hate it when you get your fake blood on everything.
44:03Wait, come back.
44:04Margaret, come back.
44:12Hands are sweaty, my heart beats heavy.
44:16There's something out there, I swear I'm not ready.
44:19And I don't really know where to go from here.
44:26The sound's getting out of the floor.
44:29Start shaking, everybody's feeling it.
44:32Why can't I feel it, though?
44:35Leave them wanting less.
44:52All I can feel is, feel is, all I can feel is, but I'm crying.
45:02What?
45:03You'll do, I suppose.
45:06Feet's still hurting, I think I lost sight of where I was going.
45:11And I don't really know where to go from here.
45:16Cause all I can feel is, cause all I can feel is, but I'm going.
45:21Cause I gotta get out of my head, do something that'll be great.
45:24Keep sensing out with someone he met.
45:26Use of my sanity, get rid of my vanity.
45:29All I can feel is, feel is, all I can feel is, but I'm going.
45:36Caught inside of a dark night, I've left me standing by my shame.
45:53Oh yes, frequenter of taverns, seeker of trouble, son of Lord Dudley, and lust object of one Lady Jane Grey.
46:03May I present Jane's husband-to-be, Lord Guildford Dudley.
46:11Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the joining of Lady Jane Grey and Lord Guildford Dudley
46:21in the sacred blessing of holy matrimony, Lord Guildford Dudley.
46:28What?
46:31Oh, um...
46:36I, Guildford, take thee, Jane, to be my...
46:49I, my, my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, I plight thee my troth.
47:06And Lady Jane Grey?
47:12I, Jane, have a little, something.
47:21I'll go.
47:45Jane!
47:46It's the affliction!
47:49What did you do?
47:51Vetched on the bus.
48:12Well, well, well, so many questions.
48:16Will Jane marry the notorious Guilford Dudley?
48:19Will King Edward be murdered by his deranged sister Mary?
48:24I will be queen.
48:25Will Susanna survive in exile?
48:29You'll find out because our story has only just begun.
48:32Tell me everything.
48:33And once Jane is stuck in her insufferable marriage...
48:38I'm your lord husband!
48:39...to the most infuriating...
48:41You'll need a dagger.
48:42That's not a dagger.
48:43This is a dagger.
48:44...and attractive man she's ever met...
48:51Dear mom, are you proud?
48:53...and living in a world fraught with danger...
48:56Somebody at court is poisoning me.
48:58...and division...
48:59The entire kingdom is at stake.
49:01She realises perhaps she doesn't know everything after all...
49:05Bollocks.
49:06...just when life can't get any more complicated.
49:09My lady.
49:10His majesty is dead.
49:12Jane is named Queen of England.
49:14Nothing's more important than the monarchy.
49:16Quite.
49:17Quite.
49:18Quite.
49:19Two, three...
49:22Now she's surrounded by scoundrels...
49:25Traitors, sycophants, reprobates, fools...
49:31Murderers...
49:31Have fun getting yourself killed.
49:32I will, thank you.
49:34And worst of all, her mother...
49:36To me!
49:37They do rather fancy mummy kings.
49:42Ready for an epic tale of true love and high adventure...
49:46The country wants to change.
49:47I could heal England.
49:50It sounds to me like you're giving up.
49:52I've never given up on anything in my entire life.
49:55Really?
49:55Really.
49:55Then prove it.
49:57Of course you are.
49:59Jane!
50:00If you don't escape now, you'll die.
50:02Fuck that.
50:04Settle in, my darlings.
50:06This is my Lady Jane.
50:08Come, the kingdom awaits.
50:43Put your father in a world.
50:46She's not sure if you're a boy or a girl.
50:50Hey, babe.
50:51Your head's all right.
50:53Hey, babe.
50:55Let's go out tonight.
50:57You're like me and I like it all.
51:00We like dancing and we look dead blind.
51:04We love bands when they're playing hard.
51:07You want more and you want it fast.
51:11They put you down.
51:12They say I'm wrong.
51:14You tacky dick.
51:16You put them on.
51:18Level, level, put on your dress.
51:22Level, level, your face is a mess.
51:25Level, level, how could they know?
51:29Happy trip.
51:30I love you so.
51:35Don't you?
51:39Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,
51:47do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,
51:49do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,
51:54do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,
51:54do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,
51:55do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do
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