- 10 hours ago
My Sister's Death Countdown Turns Out to Be My - Werewolf Edition Side Quest
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:02Every wolf in the silver crown pack conceived the death countdown hovering over my older sister
00:08Selena's head. They all knew she'd be gone the moment she turned 16. Since her birth that flickering
00:15number has hung above her head like a ghost counting down endlessly. Naturally she became
00:21the center of everyone and everything. The best venison was hers. The new dress. Even mom's bedtime
00:29stories all belonged to her. I felt for her but I also hated her for it. Finally the day of
00:36her
00:3616th birthday arrived. That very night my parents had been dreading for 16 years. To make sure I
00:43wouldn't ruin anything they locked me in the storage room with a magic seal while I was burning up with
00:50blood fever. Dad! Mom! Let me out! I'm burning up! My bones hurt so bad! Every wolf knows what that
00:58means. My wolf spirit was waking up. Through the door I heard mom hiss through gritted teeth.
01:05Enough Amber! Your sister is gonna die after today. Can't you just endure this last day?
01:11But I feel so bad. Before I could finish the footsteps faded. Then it went silent. My wolf spirit whimpered
01:20struggling to stand and trying to save me. But in the room there was no moonlight. No fresh air. And
01:27no
01:28one. Slowly the whimpering faded. So did my breath. My body suddenly felt light. I drifted right through
01:36the door and floated into the warm glow of the living room. The fireplace was crackling. My parents
01:42were huddled close to my sister on the sofa. Mom was gently patting her back. Selena was wearing that
01:48blue dress. The gift from Luna. It was moonlit blue with delicate silver stars dusted across the
01:55hem. Her face was deathly pale and her lips drained of all color. Mom, Dad? Is Amber really all right?
02:04I heard her crying out that her body hurt. Ignore her. Mom agreed to it as she reached out to
02:11touch
02:11Selena's cheek, fixing her hair. She's just pretending to be sick, honey. You know how she is. Jealous,
02:18always trying to draw everyone's attention to herself. But she sounded so scared. Selena. You
02:24only have one single day left. Selena. I'm begging you. Please don't let her ruin this for you.
02:32I knew she felt guilty. Ever since I could remember, all the love and attention in the family
02:39seemed to belong to her. Selena tried to make it up to me. She'd hide the venison in my pockets
02:45and sneak her new wool socks under my pillow. When Dad tried to hit me, she'd throw herself in front
02:51of me without a second thought. She always said the same. I'm sorry, Amber. It's all my fault.
02:58But our parents thought otherwise. Mom sighed, her eyes filled with pity. Don't defend her, Selena.
03:04That child has been jealous of you since she could walk and hates to see you happy. Don't you remember
03:10your 14th birthday? I ruined everything on her 14th birthday. And it was also the first time I truly
03:17realized that my sister was dying. Dad traded that day's hunt for a small cake, white frosting and 14
03:23candles. Mom lit them one by one, while Dad held his old camera, trying to capture her while she was
03:30still here. I watched her make wishes from behind the door, the candlelight flickering on her face,
03:38and the tears in our parents' eyes. Above her head, the countdown number read 730 days.
03:46Two years. Something inside me snapped. I rushed out. I didn't know what I was thinking at the time.
03:53Maybe it was jealousy, or maybe I just couldn't accept the fact that my sister, who had always
03:58been so kind to me, was about to die. I flipped the cake over. Cream splattered all over the floor,
04:04and the candles rolled into the corner, quickly burning out.
04:07I don't want to see you celebrating her birthday! I screamed like every other naughty kid.
04:13I still remember the way my parents looked at me. I didn't dodge at all when Dad slapped me.
04:19One slap, and two, and three. Mom stood there crying, but she didn't stop him. It was Selena who threw
04:25herself over me, like a mother wolf protecting her cub.
04:29Stop. Stop hitting, sister! Dad, please stop! It's my fault! It's all my fault!
04:34That night, she sneaked into my room and placed half a piece of candy she'd saved into my palm.
04:39There was a red mark on her wrist, scratched by the chair when she had rushed over to protect me.
04:45I'm sorry.
04:46I'm sorry. She whispered, touching my swollen cheek.
04:51I'm leaving soon. From now on, no one will compete with you for things anymore.
04:55Right then, in the living room, Mom was stroking Selena's cheek with aching tenderness,
05:00her fingers brushing through her hair.
05:01Selena, don't pay attention to her. That child has always been jealous of you, you know that.
05:08I froze. Yes, she was right. I really am jealous of Selena.
05:12I was jealous that she had all their love. Jealous that she got to wear new dresses.
05:17Jealous that when she was sick, Mom would stay by her side all night.
05:21Jealous that even if she only had one day left to live, she was still the golden child.
05:26I drifted toward my sister, reaching out to grab her hand.
05:30I wanted to tell her that I really was burning up, and it hurt like my body was on fire.
05:35But my hand went right through her body, like it was passing through a cloud of mist.
05:40I hovered there, staring at my transparent fingers.
05:45Then, I looked back at the locked door of the storage room.
05:48A faint light seeped through the crack.
05:50I drifted through the door and saw my own body on the ground.
05:53My skin looked deathly pale against the cold ground.
05:57My spirit wolf was huddled around my heart, still and frozen.
06:00There are still a few hours left on the death clock above Selena's head.
06:04It turned out that death came to me first before her.
06:09Memories flooded back like a relentless tide.
06:12When I was young, I really did hate Selena.
06:15If there was only one piece of candy in the house, it was hers.
06:19But the only apple in the house went to my sister Selena.
06:23She was always the first to get new clothes.
06:25I wore her old ones, with patches layered over patches.
06:29Even the bedtime stories belonged to her.
06:31Mom's voice is very gentle, but she only read those stories to Selena.
06:36I'd huddle outside the door, hugging my knees, listening to those beautiful tales, while my heart twisted in my chest.
06:44Why just her, but not me?
06:47The summer I turned seven, a neighboring pack sent a chicken as a peace offering.
06:52At dinner, she pulled out two golden drumsticks and put both into Selena's bowl.
06:57Eat up, sweetheart. You need to grow strength.
06:59I stared at my own bowl.
07:01Why does she get both? I want one!
07:04Amber Blackville! How can you be so selfish? Your sister is sick, don't you know?
07:09Why is everything hers? Why don't you just die already? Give them back to me! All of them!
07:18She has to learn. She needs to know the boundaries and watch her mouth in this house.
07:23The next day, I overheard my parents in the kitchen.
07:28Only nine years left.
07:30I know.
07:32Nine years! Only nine years left!
07:35That's all she has left.
07:37That was when I realized.
07:39Those numbers above Selena's head were never some kind of a game.
07:42They were a countdown to the end of her life.
07:46In the living room, Mom and Dad's eyes were swollen as they carefully took Selena back to her room.
07:51As I watched, something sour and painful suddenly welled up inside me.
07:56Maybe we should let Amber out.
07:57Dad whispered. I remained silent for a while.
08:00Let her suffer a little longer.
08:02Let Selena have a perfect birthday.
08:05Just this one day, the last...
08:07We will definitely make it up to her.
08:10At least, let Selena have a perfect birthday.
08:14Just this one day, the last day.
08:17Amber will understand us.
08:19Dad didn't say another word.
08:21He simply went to the kitchen, took a slice of stale bread from the cupboard,
08:25and walked toward the storage room door.
08:27Dad whispered to the door.
08:29Amber, Daddy brought you bread.
08:32Will you eat a little?
08:34I was drifting right in front of him.
08:36His eyes were all red, and his hair was already graying.
08:39He's only 38, but he looked like 50.
08:42Daddy, I'm here. I'm dead.
08:45Will you open the door and see me?
08:49Amber?
08:49He called out again.
08:50I reached out to touch his face, but my hand went straight through him.
08:54Not a sound from the room.
08:57He sighed and pushed the bread under the door.
08:59Be angry if you want.
09:01When your sister is gone, Daddy will make it all up to you.
09:06I swear.
09:07He turned and walked away.
09:08He didn't open the door to check on me.
09:10Watching his back, I said softly,
09:12No need, Daddy.
09:13You don't have to compensate me anymore.
09:15You will never have the chance.
09:20A moment later, Mom came.
09:22Amber, don't blame Mom, okay?
09:26Your sister only has one day left.
09:28Just let her have her way.
09:33She wiped her tears, almost as if she were embarrassed.
09:37Like crying was something to be ashamed of.
09:40After she's gone, I'll cook all your favorite foods.
09:43Buy anything you want, and take you wherever you want to go.
09:49I'll do all of it.
09:50I swear.
09:52So just for today, please, stop acting out, okay?
09:59She waited for a while, but the other side of the door remained deathly silent.
10:03The grief on her face...
10:07You ungrateful brat!
10:08You can't even hold it together for one night!
10:12She muttered, her voice cracking with a sob.
10:15You don't care about us at all.
10:17We raised you all these years for nothing.
10:21She turned around and walked away.
10:24I drifted in the dark, staring at the spot where her tears dropped.
10:27It's okay, Mom.
10:27You don't need to keep those promises anymore.
10:31By dusk, the light outside was fading.
10:33Mom was putting up the birthday decorations,
10:35and just as she finished sticking the birthday banner on the wall,
10:38someone knocked at the door.
10:40Three slow knocks.
10:41Only Grandma knocks like that.
10:46Grandma Maeve stood on the porch.
10:47She was tiny, wrapped in a dark wool shawl,
10:51holding a stuffed bag.
10:52What are you doing here?
10:54To see Selina.
10:55Her voice was low and gravelly,
10:57like stones grinding together.
10:59She didn't wait for an invite.
11:00She just walked right in, as always.
11:02She set the bag on the table.
11:04Apples.
11:05Four of them.
11:05Bright red and perfectly round.
11:07A small pouch of candied fruit.
11:09A jar of blackberry jam.
11:11It's her birthday tomorrow.
11:12I wanted to be with her.
11:16She's resting.
11:17I'll tell her you stopped by.
11:19Where is Amber?
11:21The question sliced the air.
11:23Mom stopped.
11:27She's in her room, doing her homework.
11:30Grandma said nothing.
11:31She just stared at Mom with those pale gray eyes.
11:34She had once been the Pax Luna,
11:36and those eyes had seen things others couldn't.
11:38Homework.
11:39Grandma repeated flatly.
11:42I'll go see her.
11:44Mom, wait!
11:46Mom blocked the hallway, standing in Grandma's way.
11:48She's been acting out lately.
11:51I put her in the cellar to calm down,
11:53just for a little while.
11:55Mom's voice went up,
11:56just like when she lied.
11:57Grandma stood perfectly still.
11:59Just until tomorrow.
12:00You know how she is.
12:01She's just jealous of Selina.
12:03She always tries to ruin everything.
12:05Especially on a night like tonight.
12:08You locked that child in the cellar.
12:12Mom wanted to explain, but said nothing.
12:15Grandma's face darkened, inch by inch.
12:18She took a step forward, and Mom flinched.
12:21Eleanor.
12:22Grandma's voice was very, very soft,
12:24but even louder than screaming.
12:26Amber is your daughter, too.
12:28I know, but Selina...
12:30Yes, I know about Selina.
12:32I have known since the day she was born,
12:34the day that cursed clock appeared above her head.
12:37I know you love her.
12:38I know you want to give her everything before she leaves.
12:41I know every minute with her is like water in your palms,
12:45ready to slip away at any moment.
12:47But what about Amber?
12:49What has Amber ever had?
12:51Selina's handy-downs, patched and repatched.
12:54Two pairs of shoes for the entire year.
12:56Even your love.
12:58You couldn't bear to give that.
13:02You measured it out like it was something that would run dry.
13:06You gave Selina the river,
13:08and left Amber only the drops.
13:10It's not like that.
13:11I didn't...
13:12Now, on the last night,
13:13you won't even let them see each other?
13:16Selina is dying, and Amber is her only sister.
13:20Her only sister, Eleanor!
13:22The only person in this house that Selina ever chose to love.
13:26Not out of duty.
13:28Not because of the clock.
13:29But because she wanted to.
13:33She grabbed Mom by the shoulders, her fingers digging in.
13:37You really think Selina can rest in peace knowing her little sister is locked in a cellar?
13:43Is this the last memory, Amber, you want her to have and die along with it?
13:50Mom slid down the wall and collapsed on the floor, curling into a ball.
13:54I just...
13:54I just wanted Selina to be happy tonight.
13:57I didn't want Amber to ruin it.
14:00I just wanted one night.
14:02A perfect night.
14:05Night deepened.
14:06In the living room, no one moved.
14:09Mom sat on the floor with face buried in her knees.
14:13Dad sat in his chair, staring into space.
14:16His hands hanging limp.
14:17Grandma sat on the sofa, her back straight, eyes fixed on the cellar door at the end of
14:23the hallway.
14:23Go get some sleep.
14:25She finally said, her voice hoarse.
14:28I just couldn't.
14:30Dad didn't even react.
14:31Grandma sighed.
14:33She stood up slowly, walked to the storage room door, and sat down on the floor.
14:38Amber, Grandmom's here.
14:40Don't be afraid.
14:41My tears fell like rain.
14:43Time passed by.
14:45The fire in the hearth died out.
14:47Moonlight crept through the window.
14:49The sky brightened.
14:51From black to charcoal.
14:52From charcoal to slate.
14:54Grandma walked to Selina's door.
14:56She raised her hand to knock.
14:58Hesitated.
14:59Then stopped.
15:00Finally, she spoke in a whisper.
15:02Selina, it's time to wake up.
15:04There were sounds inside, and the door opened.
15:07Selina stood there, alive.
15:09I looked at the clock above her head.
15:12The numbers had hit zero.
15:16The numbers had hit zero, but she was standing there breathing.
15:20Her face was flushed with life, which I'd never seen in years.
15:24Grandma?
15:25Mom?
15:26Dad?
15:26She looked down at her hands, turning them over, flexing her fingers.
15:31I'm still here?
15:33Mom was laughing and sobbing and howling all at once.
15:37She lunged at Selina, clinging her tightly.
15:40Dad stumbled over, trembling, burying his face in Selina's hair.
15:43You're alive.
15:45You're alive.
15:47Above Selina's head, the death clock was gone.
15:49There was nothing but air.
15:51The countdown vanished.
15:52But Grandma, standing behind them all, her face suddenly went deathly pale.
15:57She whipped around, staring at the cellar door.
15:59Amber, open the cellar, now!
16:02She said in panic.
16:03Right.
16:04Amber's still in there.
16:06Let her out.
16:06Selina's alive.
16:07This is...
16:08Oh, it's amazing.
16:09We have to tell her.
16:11Dad strode down the hall, a smile breaking through his tear-stained face.
16:15Selina followed barefoot.
16:17Amber?
16:18Amber, did you hear?
16:20I'm okay now.
16:21The clock is gone.
16:22I'm not going to die!
16:23Dad walked to the cellar door.
16:25He grabbed the iron handle, pulled it open, and stopped dead.
16:29His entire body froze.
16:30The joy drained from his face in an instant.
16:33He backed away, hand-frying to cover his mouth.
16:39No, no, no.
16:41What is it?
16:43Mom pushed past him.
16:45Thomas, what's wrong?
16:46Move, let me...
16:47She stepped over the threshold and looked inside.
16:49I was curled in the corner, wedged between a broken rocking chair and a pile of firewood.
16:55My eyes were squeezed shut.
16:56The bread Dad shoved under the door is still there, untouched.
17:00Amber.
17:05Amber, wake up.
17:07Baby, open your eyes.
17:09Mom's voice broke.
17:10She knelt beside me, her trembling hand reaching out.
17:13She gave my shoulder a little nudge.
17:15My body was limp.
17:16I just swayed a little as she pushed me.
17:18Her hand slid from my shoulder to my cheek.
17:20No.
17:21No.
17:22No.
17:24Thomas.
17:25Amber, she's just...
17:26She's just cold.
17:27She's just sleeping.
17:28We need to warm her up.
17:30Her fingers jerked back as if they'd been burned.
17:33She threw herself backward, collapsing onto the floor.
17:38Amber.
17:39Amber, baby.
17:40Mom's here.
17:41Wake up.
17:41Look at me.
17:43Mom will make you roast rabbit.
17:45A whole one.
17:46Just for you.
17:47I'll buy you that dress with the bow, remember?
17:49The one at the trading post?
17:51We'll go tomorrow.
17:52First thing.
17:54Please open your eyes.
17:56You can hit me.
17:58You can scream at me.
17:59I don't care.
18:00Just open your eyes.
18:03Dad knelt beside her.
18:05He pressed two fingers against the side of my neck.
18:07The pulse point.
18:09The only place that matters.
18:10His fingers stayed for five seconds.
18:12Ten seconds.
18:13Fifteen.
18:14Then his hand dropped to his side, and he let out a sound I'd never heard.
18:19She's gone.
18:20She's gone.
18:22Eleanor.
18:23She.
18:24Amber.
18:25Don't say it.
18:26Ah!
18:30She gathered my cold, rigid frame into her arms, rocking me.
18:34She didn't.
18:35She couldn't.
18:35She was yelling last night.
18:37She was calling for me.
18:38She's right here.
18:39Selene stood in the doorway.
18:40She gripped the door frame, shaking all over.
18:43She saw her parents huddled and weeping.
18:46She saw that tiny, cold body in the corner.
18:48Her lips trembled.
18:51Amber.
18:52She whispered.
18:53Then her eyes rolled back, and she collapsed.
18:56Selene!
18:57The cellar room was a total mess.
19:01Selene woke up at noon.
19:03Mom sat by her bed, her eyes swollen red.
19:06Thank the goddess.
19:07You're okay.
19:09You're finally okay.
19:10Selene opened her eyes.
19:12She stared at the ceiling for a long time.
19:14Where's Amber?
19:15Mom's lips trembled.
19:17Fresh tears welled up instantly, spilling down cheeks already raw from crying.
19:22Amber.
19:22She couldn't finish the sentence.
19:24Selene bolted upright, throwing off the covers.
19:28Wait!
19:29Selene, you just blacked out.
19:30You need to rest.
19:31Where's she?
19:33Her scream tore through the small house.
19:37In the living room.
19:39Your father is holding her.
19:42Selene pushed her aside and ran barefoot down the hallway.
19:45In the living room, dad was sitting on the floor, with me in his arms.
19:50He wasn't crying anymore.
19:51He just stared into space with hollow eyes.
19:54He held me stiffly, like I was fragile glass, or a lifeline he couldn't let go of.
20:00Selene saw it, and her feet skidded to a halt.
20:03She stood there in the middle of the living room, looking at me, then at dad, just taking
20:07in the whole farce.
20:11Amber has a fever.
20:13She had a bad fever last night, but I am cooling her down.
20:19See?
20:20She is less hot already.
20:23She is cooling down.
20:25She just needs a sleep, and she will be fine.
20:29By tonight, she will be running around again.
20:31You know her.
20:32Cannot keep still for a moment.
20:37Dad.
20:38Dad, look at me.
20:39I am Selene.
20:44No, you are Amber.
20:46Amber is feeling much better, and will wake up soon.
20:49Dad, Amber is dead.
20:51She is dead, do you hear me?
20:54You are lying!
20:56She is not dead.
20:58She is sleeping.
20:59She is just tired from the fever, and she needs rest.
21:02And if you wake her up, I swear by the goddess!
21:15Grandma stepped out of the kitchen with a glass of water.
21:18She went over to dad, crouched down, and held out the glass of water.
21:24Drink some water.
21:26Dad looked at her, but didn't move.
21:29She set the glass down,
21:34and gently began to pry his arm open.
21:39Let go, Thomas.
21:42Dad's hands were shaking, but he didn't loosen his grip.
21:46Mom.
21:47He choked out.
21:50Amber is not dead.
21:51She was just...
21:52Grandma cut him off.
21:53She is dead.
21:54Heavy tears streaming down.
21:56Your daughter is dead.
21:57You locked her in the cellar for a whole night.
22:00She got blood fever.
22:01She needed moonlight, open space,
22:03someone to hold her during her first transformation.
22:06But she died alone in the dark on the cold floor.
22:09Every word hit him like a physical blow.
22:12Dad's face contorted as tears burst from his eyes.
22:15His whole body shaking violently.
22:17He shook his head.
22:18I don't know.
22:20I thought she was faking.
22:22I just wanted Selina to have a quiet night.
22:25I don't know.
22:27You know.
22:32She called.
22:33She said she hurt.
22:34She said she had a fever.
22:35You heard her.
22:38Eleanor heard her too.
22:39You just didn't believe her.
22:41Mom stumbled out of the bedroom,
22:43frozen in the hallway.
22:44She told you.
22:46She banged on the door to tell you she was burning up.
22:48She said she had a headache.
22:50She begged you to let her out.
22:52She stopped for a beat.
22:54You all heard her.
22:55You just didn't believe her.
22:58A knock sounded through the afternoon.
23:00A sharp, rapid rapping.
23:03Mom opened the door with swollen eyes.
23:05There stood Margaret Thorne,
23:07the pack's biggest gossip,
23:09a basket of herbs on her arm,
23:11and blatant curiosity written all over her face.
23:14Oh my Eleanor, what's all that noise?
23:16Half the pack can hear the crying.
23:17She peeked past Mom into the dim room.
23:20Don't tell me.
23:21It's Selina.
23:22The clock.
23:23Get out.
23:24But Margaret stretched her neck and stood on tiptoe,
23:27trying to see past the hallway at Grandma,
23:29sitting in the living room,
23:30holding something wrapped tightly in a blanket.
23:33Oh, poor thing.
23:34I knew she wouldn't live through the night.
23:35Sure enough.
23:36Grandma spoke flatly from the sofa,
23:38her voice void of all emotion.
23:39It's not Selina.
23:41Margaret blinked in confusion.
23:43Not Selina?
23:44She drew closer,
23:45squinting at the small shape held in Grandma's arms.
23:47Who is it?
23:48Then she caught sight of my face.
23:49Her eyes widened in shock.
23:51That's the little one?
23:53Amber?
23:54Amber's dead?
23:55How could Amber die?
23:57Wasn't Selina the one who was dying?
23:59Mom suddenly snapped.
24:00She stepped forward,
24:01grabbed Margaret by the collar,
24:02and pushed her hard.
24:03The herb basket went flying,
24:05spilling dried lavender and wolfsbane
24:07all across the porch.
24:08Get out!
24:09Get out of my house!
24:12I didn't say anything wrong.
24:15It's Selina who's going to die anyway.
24:17Doesn't your whole family revolve around her?
24:19Good food, nice clothes, all for her.
24:22Now look, the one who died isn't the one who deserved it.
24:27It's the one who shouldn't have-
24:28Shut up!
24:29Selina stepped out into the hallway,
24:31barefoot, eyes red and puffy,
24:33trembling from head to toe.
24:35You dare say her name?
24:36You dare talk about my sister?
24:38Faced with the wild,
24:40heart-wrenching grief on Selina's face,
24:42Margaret was instantly frightened.
24:44She wisely held her tongue
24:45and hurried away with her scattered herbs.
24:48Quietness settled heavily over the cottage.
24:51Grandma handled everything.
24:53She washed me with warm, pine-infused water,
24:56an old ritual practiced by the earliest wolf packs
24:59for the departed.
25:01She dressed me in funeral clothes,
25:03brought from the old lands,
25:05soft white linen embroidered
25:06with delicate silver blossoms along the collar.
25:09It was the most beautiful garment I had ever worn.
25:12The fabric felt gentle against my skin,
25:15softer than anything I had known in life.
25:18As Grandma carried me outside,
25:20those silver flowers glistened faintly in the light.
25:24Let me do it.
25:24It should be me.
25:26Don't touch her.
25:28Grandma never lifted her eyes.
25:29You do not deserve to touch her now.
25:32Mom leaned weakly against the wall
25:33and sank slowly to the ground.
25:36The farewell ceremony took place at an altar,
25:38hidden deep within the territory,
25:40encircled by dense oak woods.
25:42I rested inside a tiny pine coffin,
25:44clad in the white burial gown Grandma had prepared.
25:47The tiny silver flowers on the collar
25:49shimmered faintly beneath the dull daylight.
25:51Kneeling beside the altar,
25:53Mom stretched out her hand,
25:55longing to touch my face for the very last time.
25:57Grandma gently held her back.
25:59The pack elder walked over,
26:01leaning on his wooden staff.
26:02Dressed in faded ceremonial robes,
26:05his white hair drifted like wispy smoke amid the misty rain.
26:09He took the torch,
26:10glanced up at the overcast sky,
26:12without a single glance at anyone present,
26:14and murmured an ancient prayer under his breath.
26:17After that,
26:18he held the flame to the edge of the pine wall.
26:21Flames lapped at the wood timidly.
26:24Mom lunged for the fire.
26:26Don't go!
26:27Amber!
26:28Don't go!
26:29Mommy's coming with you!
26:30Three pack members held her back tightly.
26:32She thrashed,
26:33kicked,
26:34and screamed
26:34until her voice barely sounded human.
26:37Dad was slamming his head against the ground.
26:39Once.
26:40Twice.
26:41Again.
26:42Blood oozed from his forehead,
26:44blending with the rain
26:45and staining the mud beneath him pink.
26:48Selena stood apart from them all.
26:50She did not cry.
26:52She simply watched the flames
26:53devour the small box that held me,
26:56little by little.
26:57I hovered in mid-air,
26:59witnessing everything.
27:00I gazed at my elder sister.
27:02That damned countdown was gone for good,
27:04her face pale,
27:06yet full of life.
27:07There was nothing there,
27:08then glanced above her head.
27:10It was alright.
27:11My sister was alive.
27:13My death had not been in vain.
27:14At the very least,
27:16she survived.
27:17The old wolves always said,
27:19a life for a life,
27:20and this time,
27:21the goddess had taken mine
27:22in exchange for hers.
27:23When the farewell ritual ended,
27:25Grandma took hold of my ash urn.
27:27She wrapped it gently
27:28in the soft inner fleece of her shawl
27:30and held it close to her heart.
27:32Mother, where are you taking her?
27:34Home.
27:35To the old territory.
27:37You can't.
27:38She's our daughter.
27:39We want her here.
27:40With us,
27:41so we can visit her.
27:42Mom dropped her music.
27:43Please!
27:44I'll visit her grave every day!
27:47I'll leave flowers every full moon!
27:49I need her with me!
27:50I need to be close to her!
27:52You need her now?
27:53Grandma stared down at the woman
27:55clinging desperately to her legs.
27:57Her toe was cold to size.
27:58Where was this need
27:59when she was alive?
28:01Mom's quiet.
28:05I'm sorry!
28:06I know I'm sorry!
28:10Sorry?
28:11Grandma laughed.
28:12She's dead, Eleanor.
28:13Dead in the cellar,
28:15and now you want to talk to me
28:16about sorry?
28:18She pried Mom's hands off her.
28:20These ashes are mine.
28:21You and Thomas will never touch them.
28:23You lived with a living,
28:24breathing child for 16 years
28:26who loved you,
28:27who only wanted a little
28:28of your attention,
28:29and you threw her away.
28:32Now she's gone,
28:33and you don't deserve to have her.
28:34She turned toward the path.
28:35Dad chased after her.
28:36Mother!
28:37Grabbing her arm.
28:38Please!
28:39Give her back to us!
28:40I'm begging you!
28:41Grandmother stopped in her tracks
28:42and slowly turned around.
28:44She looked at her son,
28:45at his bleeding forehead,
28:46his shattered face.
28:47For a second,
28:48a flash of pity crossed her eyes.
28:50Then it vanished.
28:52Let go, Thomas.
28:53Mother!
28:54Mother!
28:55I said let go!
28:57Grandma pulled away,
28:59adjusted the box in her shawl,
29:00and disappeared into the rain.
29:02She didn't look back.
29:04Not once.
29:05Mom collapsed on her butt.
29:06Dad fell beside her.
29:08They clung to each other
29:09and howled.
29:10The real and the foul,
29:11primal, beastly,
29:12and completely broken.
29:13Selina stood under the ash tree,
29:15watching Grandmother's small figure
29:17vanish into the gray woods.
29:18She looked up at the weeping clouds.
29:21And for a moment,
29:23I thought she was looking right at me.
29:25Selina sat on the ground,
29:27hugging herself tight,
29:28and buried her face in her knees.
29:32The rain fell harder.
29:34Grandmother returned to the old land by carriage.
29:36It was a three-hour journey through dense forests,
29:39following a river that smelled of moss and cold stone.
29:43I drifted beside her the whole way,
29:45watching her face.
29:46She didn't cry.
29:48Her jaw was set,
29:49eyes fixed straight ahead,
29:50her hands steady on the reins.
29:52She looked like who she used to be.
29:54A luna.
29:56The wolf that had led a pack
29:57through three years of famine
29:59and a territory war.
30:00But I could see her thumb
30:01stroking the wooden box,
30:03hidden beneath her shawl,
30:04a bottomless grief tucked away inside.
30:07It was dark when we returned.
30:08Her cottage was small and weathered,
30:11a single room with a stone fireplace,
30:13a narrow bed,
30:15a table,
30:15and two chairs.
30:16It was the kind of place
30:18that smelled of dried sage,
30:20pine sap,
30:21and the trace of decades of living.
30:23She started a fire.
30:24The flames caught quickly,
30:26casting a warm glow against the walls.
30:29She placed the box on the table,
30:30right in the center.
30:32Then she lit three white candles,
30:34the old-fashioned kind,
30:35made of beeswax,
30:37that burned slowly.
30:38The flames held steady.
30:40Grandmother stood before the table
30:41for a long time.
30:42And then,
30:43she looked up,
30:44directly at me.
30:45Ambie, come here, sweetheart.
30:47I froze.
30:50I froze.
30:51Grandmother?
30:52I mouthed.
30:53You can see me?
30:54She nodded.
30:55I've always been able to,
30:57she said,
30:57since I was a girl.
30:59The moon touched me when I was born,
31:01or that's just what people always said.
31:03I see things others don't.
31:06She reached out her arms.
31:08Come, child.
31:09Come to grandmother.
31:11Tears I thought were long gone welled up.
31:13I drifted toward her,
31:15rushing so fast that my body passed right through her.
31:18I stood in front of her,
31:20looking down at my transparent, useless hands.
31:22She held the air where I was supposed to be.
31:25It's all right,
31:26she whispered,
31:27little one,
31:28her voice growing husky.
31:29I can feel you right here.
31:32She closed her eyes.
31:34A drop of tear escaped from her wrinkled eyelids,
31:36sliding down her cheek to splash against the floor.
31:39I drifted back into the space of her embrace,
31:42even though I could not be held.
31:43I curled myself,
31:45head against her shoulder,
31:46and there we stayed for a long, long time.
31:49The candles burned an inch shorter.
31:51Outside the window,
31:52the moon rose,
31:53full and silver white.
31:55Grandmother spoke first.
31:56Tell me, Amber.
31:58She pulled back slightly,
31:59her hands still cupping my face.
32:01Are you all right?
32:02After,
32:04after what happened?
32:05Was I all right?
32:06I was a dead child.
32:08I pointed to my chest,
32:09then toward the ceiling,
32:11then I made a small,
32:12drifting motion with my fingers,
32:14like a falling leaf.
32:18Grandmother understood immediately.
32:20Unmoored,
32:20unfloated,
32:21she whispered,
32:22nowhere to land.
32:24I nodded.
32:25She reached out,
32:26trying to stroke my hair.
32:27Her fingers passed through my head,
32:29and she slowly lowered her hand back.
32:31I know, sweetheart.
32:33I know.
32:33She stood up,
32:35her knees creaking,
32:36and walked to a small cupboard in the corner.
32:38She came back holding an apple,
32:40a whole apple.
32:41Here,
32:42eat, sweetheart.
32:43I don't have much,
32:43but this is a sweet apple.
32:45I picked it from the tree behind the house this morning.
32:48I've been saving it for you.
32:50I stared at that apple.
32:51In my eight years of life,
32:52I had never had a whole apple to myself.
32:55There was always Selena,
32:57always a knife slicing it in two,
32:59the larger half going to her,
33:01a thin slice going to me.
33:02I'm not really hungry, Amber.
33:03She always trying to give me bites of hers.
33:07Have mine.
33:09Trying to make up for what others had stolen from me.
33:12But I had never,
33:13ever had a whole apple,
33:15a complete,
33:15perfect,
33:16uncut one.
33:17All mine.
33:18I drifted toward the table.
33:20I couldn't eat it,
33:21but I could smell it.
33:22Its sweet scent filled the space around me.
33:25Is it sweet?
33:26I nodded.
33:27Even though she couldn't see me clearly,
33:29she smiled.
33:30And then that smile broke into a sob.
33:32She whispered.
33:33Great,
33:34that's great.
33:35Wiping her eyes with her shell,
33:36as if she were angry at herself for crying.
33:39Then,
33:39she sat down across from me.
33:43She talked all night.
33:44She told me when I was three,
33:46when she came to see me.
33:47Asked for a story.
33:48Asked for a story.
33:50I climbed into her lap and asked for a story.
33:52So she told me the tale of the mother wolf
33:54and the falling star,
33:56until I fell asleep in her arms.
33:58When I was four,
33:59it was winter.
34:00I caught my first fever.
34:01She stayed up for three nights,
34:03pressing damp cloths to my forehead,
34:05and humming ancient moon hymns,
34:07until the fever was gone.
34:08When I was five that summer,
34:10my parents finally let her take me
34:11to the old territory for a week,
34:13just me,
34:14without Selena.
34:15I had run wild through the meadows,
34:16chasing rabbits,
34:17returning to the cottage,
34:18filthy and stained with grass,
34:20laughing until I was breathless.
34:22Your laughter lasted the whole week,
34:24grandmother said.
34:25Just after that week,
34:26I never heard you laugh like that again.
34:30I remembered every single thing.
34:33She kept talking and talking.
34:35Her voice grew softer,
34:36and her eyes heavier.
34:37The candles burned until turned
34:38into a small pools of wax.
34:43Outside,
34:43the sky began to brighten.
34:45The edge of the horizon turned a dull gray,
34:47then silver,
34:48then the palest gold.
34:50Grandmother stopped talking.
34:51She looked at me,
34:52and I knew she couldn't see me clearly anymore.
34:54My edges were blurring.
34:55Amber,
34:56she whispered.
34:57You're leaving, aren't you?
34:58I nodded.
34:59She closed her eyes.
35:00When she opened them again,
35:02That's good,
35:02you've suffered enough.
35:03They were wet,
35:04and she was smiling.
35:05Listen to me.
35:06When the moon goddess sends you out again,
35:08choose better parents.
35:09Find someone who will hold you
35:11when you have a fever.
35:12Find a father who will give you
35:13the whole apple.
35:14Don't come back to this house.
35:15There is nothing left for you.
35:16Find a family who will truly want you
35:18from the very first day.
35:20Grandma,
35:20I said soundlessly,
35:22I love you.
35:24I'm right here, sweetheart.
35:26I love you too, my Amber.
35:28You were the best child.
35:30The first ray of sunlight
35:31pierced through the window.
35:32It fell on me.
35:33They had almost vanished.
35:34I reached out,
35:35trying one last time
35:36to touch her cheek,
35:37her wrinkled skin,
35:38her tears.
35:39Grandmother buried her face
35:40in her hands
35:41and began to sob.
35:42I turned toward the window.
35:43My body drifted uncontrollably
35:45toward the light.
35:46Higher and higher.
35:47Further and further away.
35:51The cottage became smaller.
35:53The forest covered the whole land.
35:55The entire land
35:56shrinking into a tiny patch.
35:58Then,
35:59I passed through it all.
36:01The world turned soft white.
36:02An ancient,
36:03solemn voice resounded.
36:05Little wolf,
36:06do you want to try again?
36:08I thought of grandmother's apple.
36:10The whole one.
36:11Mine.
36:12I thought of Selena's thin arms
36:13shielding me.
36:14The shining candy in her palm.
36:16Her voice saying,
36:18I'm sorry.
36:18I'm sorry, Amber.
36:19I thought that teardrop mom
36:21left on the cellar's floor.
36:23Mom holding my cold body.
36:24She didn't.
36:24She couldn't laugh.
36:25The howling beside the altar.
36:27I thought of grandmother
36:28closing her arms
36:29to embrace the void.
36:31Yes, Ed.
36:32I want to try again.
36:33The warmth wrapped around me
36:35like a blanket.
36:36As I closed my eyes,
36:37I felt it.
36:39Grandmother lifted her head.
36:40Run free, little wolf.
36:42She smiled.
36:43Goodbye, grandma.
36:45In the next life,
36:46I promise.
36:46I will find a pack
36:48that loves me from the start.
36:49And I will have the whole apple
36:51every single time.
Comments