00:02Hi, I'm Bob Beauregard. Do you ever get scared walking up to your door, afraid to answer?
00:10Fearful that whoever's beyond the other side isn't exactly who you thought they were?
00:16Hello. Hello. You didn't respond back to that DM I sent you on Discord.
00:22Not exactly the pizza boy when you might think it's a Wendigo.
00:28But you don't have to worry about that anymore. Not with the new Ring-a-ling!
00:33That's right, folks, for this low price of $99.99
00:38with a small subscription fee of $69.69, no taxes and fees included.
00:42It can all be yours. That's right. No more demons, spooks, aberrations, the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, the Queen of
00:50England.
00:50All of that goes away with our super bright Holy Light technology.
00:55That's right, folks, there's a demon in an apparition in your doorway.
00:59We will blast him with 50,000 radons of Holy Light.
01:05Hey, you still haven't responded back to that DM.
01:08Like...
01:10We're gonna keep blasting him!
01:12Blast him with the light!
01:17Oh, the power of the Holy Light technology! Oh, you can feel it!
01:20Only for $99.99! Oh, can you feel that Holy Light, brother? I can feel it!
01:29It's as easy as ding-dong-done.
01:33Our patented spookalicious technology guarantees that any man or myth stays off your welcome mat.
01:42Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
01:49That is...
01:52Except...
01:53Shlorb.
02:00Nothing can stop Shlorb.
02:04There's no king, no president, no army.
02:10Hold your loved ones.
02:18Cause he's coming.
02:20He's coming for us all!
02:23Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
02:25Call 1-888-888-888-888.
02:30Right now to get a second new patented no spook or ring-a-ling completely free.
02:35That's right!
02:35Call 1-888-888-888-888.
02:39Sacrifice the Shlorb non-uncle.
02:44Who wouldn't take that meal?
02:48Buy my chocolate.
02:51Buy my Mr. Beast Bar.
02:53Do it!
02:55You will do it!
02:56I tell you, worm!
03:00I can't believe you're not recording.
03:02I am recording.
03:03Yes!
03:03Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
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