- 4 hours ago
The Practice Girl - HOT
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00The summer I turned 18, Asher made me cross a line I could never take back.
00:04I bit my lip through the ache, glowing secretly all night,
00:08convinced that six long years of loving him from a distance had finally, finally paid off.
00:14Then the next morning, I heard his friend laughing outside the classroom door.
00:17Okay, okay. Got the nerd to give it up, huh?
00:20My face burned, and I turned to slip away before anyone saw me.
00:24Then Asher's voice drifted out, lazy and unbothered.
00:28I'm trying to get with Chloe.
00:30But she'd think I was too inexperienced.
00:32So I used Stella to get some practice in first.
00:35His words hit me like a thunderclap out of a cloudless summer sky.
00:39No warning at all.
00:40My mind went completely blank.
00:42It was a scorching July afternoon,
00:44but I felt like ice was spreading through every inch of my body.
00:48Classic Asher.
00:49Even Stella was just a warm-up for him.
00:52Everyone knows how hard it is to get into her pant.
00:55Relax. She got something out of it, too.
00:58I mean, Stella's cute and all, but compared to Chloe, yeah, no contest.
01:04Asher threw a textbook at him to shut him up.
01:07It was just a vibe, okay?
01:08The moment happened, and honestly, she seemed like she was enjoying herself.
01:12The guys all exchanged, knowing looks, and started roasting him.
01:16Who knew the book burn was that that freaky under all those cardigans?
01:20Bro, Asher's just built different.
01:22Why leave free food on the table, right?
01:25She's been chasing him for years.
01:27Technically, she got what she wanted.
01:29After inside the room got noticeably louder,
01:32I pressed my teeth into my lower lip so hard I tasted copper.
01:36Both hands balled into white-knuckled fists.
01:38It took every single ounce of willpower I had to stay upright,
01:42to not just crumple right there in the doorway.
01:45Footsteps echoed down the hall toward me.
01:47I snapped back to reality and bolted, shoving my way blindly through the corridor.
01:52In my panic, I threw myself into the nearest bathroom stall
01:55and locked the door behind me.
01:57The tears came like a dam breaking,
01:59grief and humiliation pouring out all at once.
02:02Asher's words played on a loop inside my head, every single syllable.
02:07They shredded what little self-worth I had left.
02:09If I hadn't heard it with my own ears,
02:12I never could have believed that the guy talking in there
02:15was the same one who had held me like I was something precious just last night.
02:20Turns out you don't actually need to love someone to do that with them.
02:23Turns out you can look a girl dead in the eyes,
02:25make her feel everything,
02:27and still be lying through every single second of it.
02:30The thing I thought was my happily ever after
02:33was just a punchline someone else got to laugh at.
02:36The more I cried, the worse it got.
02:38But I couldn't make a sound.
02:39My whole body was shaking so hard I could barely breathe.
02:42A long time passed. My phone buzzed.
02:45It was Asher.
02:46Just grab an Uber back.
02:48My crew's got a party tonight and it'd be awkward to bring you.
02:51I didn't reply.
02:52He sent a follow-up.
02:53So, pick up a morning after pill yourself.
02:55I'm busy today.
02:57Don't forget to take it.
02:58Good girl.
02:59I stared at those two texts for a very, very long time without moving.
03:04From dusk until nearly sunrise,
03:06Asher had been relentless like he had a point to prove.
03:09By the end, we were both completely wrecked.
03:11And right before he drifted off with his arms around me,
03:14he'd murmured the same thing twice.
03:16We weren't really prepared for your first time.
03:18I'll get you the pill first thing tomorrow morning.
03:21He'd even given me this little lecture
03:23about how girls needed to take care of themselves,
03:26said the morning after pill was really important,
03:28and that skipping it could mess up my body.
03:31And I had actually thought,
03:33this is it.
03:34He's the one.
03:34He's being so responsible.
03:36I finally got my person,
03:38and now?
03:39The clarity hit me like a slap.
03:41I dug my nails into my own palm,
03:43until the pain forced the tears to stop.
03:45I wiped my face,
03:46and walked out of that bathroom like nothing had happened.
03:49I was too embarrassed to go to a real pharmacy,
03:52so I ordered the pill online instead.
03:55When the delivery guy left the package at my door,
03:57I waited another long stretch
03:59before I could even bring myself to go get it.
04:01I swallowed it with a mouthful of my own tears,
04:04and then I just sat down on the floor,
04:06staring at nothing, completely empty.
04:08Ever since Ash's family had moved next door to mine,
04:12I'd trailed after him like a shadow,
04:14and that had been ten years of my life.
04:16I had genuinely never stopped to think about
04:18what a world without him would even look like.
04:21I couldn't picture it.
04:22But starting right now,
04:23I was going to have to figure it out alone.
04:26Outside the floor-to-ceiling window,
04:28the neighbourhood lights blinked on,
04:30one by one,
04:31and then off again.
04:32At some point,
04:33I really didn't know how long I'd been sitting there,
04:35Mia called me on FaceTime.
04:37Stella,
04:38why didn't you come to the party tonight with Ashler?
04:40That girl Chloe from the AP track is here, by the way.
04:43She has been all over him since you didn't show.
04:45It's actually disgusting.
04:49In the dark corner of the VIP booth,
04:52Asha and Chloe were sitting so close together,
04:55their thighs were touching.
04:57Chloe had worn a crop top and a curve-hugging miniskirt,
05:00and she looked exactly as model-perfect as you'd expect.
05:04Long, tan legs, tiny waist.
05:06The two of them had created this invisible bubble
05:09that separated them from everyone else in the room.
05:12Even the way they were talking looked more like whispering secrets
05:15than having a conversation.
05:17I could feel the charged energy between them through the screen.
05:21Something in my chest locked up,
05:23like someone had reached in and squeezed.
05:25He'd only said he wanted to chase her this afternoon,
05:28and apparently tonight was all the time he needed.
05:31The game switched to truth or dare,
05:33and Chloe drew a card that said she had to do a push-up challenge
05:37with a guy hovering over her.
05:38Predictably, Asha volunteered before anyone else could open their mouth.
05:43The whole room immediately started hollering.
05:46The room erupted.
05:47Everyone screaming so loud the walls practically shook.
05:51Asha's and Chloe's faces went even redder.
05:53With the whole crowd going absolutely feral around them,
05:57Asha just tilted his head down and kissed her.
05:59Not a quick peck.
06:01A full, deep, for the whole room to see.
06:04Kissed three full minutes before they finally pulled apart.
06:07For all three of those minutes,
06:09I sat completely frozen, eyes locked on the screen,
06:12barely remembering to breathe.
06:14It felt like someone was reaching into my chest
06:16and tearing something loose.
06:18I wanted to cry so badly,
06:20but I'd used up every tear I had in that bathroom stall
06:23and had nothing left.
06:24Oh my god, Stella, did you see that?
06:26He literally kissed her in front of everyone.
06:29He is so into her.
06:31Mia shook her head and stepped out of the booth,
06:33turning the camera as she went.
06:35She found a quiet corner and looked at me
06:37with that serious face she uses when she means it.
06:40Don't be mad at me.
06:41If I hadn't shown you,
06:42you never would have let yourself move on.
06:44My voice came out wrecked and scratchy,
06:47barely recognizable.
06:48I'm not mad at you.
06:50I'm only mad at myself for wasting so many years.
06:52I had always assumed that the spot beside Asha was mine,
06:56that it would always be mine.
06:57I am so done with him, Stella.
06:59Who does he think he is,
07:00watching you love, love him for years,
07:02acting all innocent like he had no idea,
07:03just letting you fall deeper and deeper?
07:05You saw what I showed you.
07:06I'm seriously begging you,
07:08please don't let him waste
07:09the next four years of your life too.
07:10He won't, Mia.
07:11I cut her off,
07:13and my voice came out calmer than I expected.
07:15I'm not giving myself the chance.
07:17Mia, I've already decided.
07:19I'm going to California with you.
07:21But you have to promise me
07:23you'll keep it quiet for now.
07:25Right after I said it,
07:26so I wouldn't talk myself out of it,
07:28I flipped open my laptop right in front of her.
07:30Without a single second of hesitation,
07:32I changed my first choice school
07:34to the one in California,
07:36one minute before the deadline.
07:38Mia basically levitated off the ground.
07:41She'd been begging me for months
07:42to apply to the same school as her.
07:44But back when we started high school,
07:47Asha and I had made this pact.
07:49We'd work hard together
07:50and go to his dream school up in Boston
07:53after graduation.
07:54It had his aerospace engineering program,
07:57the one he'd been obsessed with
07:59since we were kids.
08:00So even though I didn't particularly
08:01love the idea of brutal winters,
08:03and even though that school
08:05was a technical institute
08:06that didn't even have my major,
08:08I'd spent three years
08:10treating it like my only option.
08:12Our families had lived next door
08:14to each other for so long
08:15that both sets of parents
08:16thought it was basically a done deal.
08:18We'd end up at the same school.
08:20Everyone, including me,
08:22assumed Asha and I
08:23would just naturally become official
08:25once we got to college.
08:27But right now,
08:28I couldn't think of a single reason
08:29to still go to Boston.
08:31Because honestly,
08:32after today,
08:33if I kept following Asha around
08:35the way I always had,
08:37I would never be able
08:38to look myself in the mirror again.
08:39I just needed to go somewhere far away.
08:42It didn't even matter where,
08:43as long as he wasn't there.
08:45He was going east,
08:47so I was going west.
08:49Before bed,
08:49I filled the entire bathtub.
08:51I needed to scrub
08:52every inch of myself clean.
08:54But when I took off my clothes,
08:55the bruises on my skin
08:57were still so vivid
08:58it made me flinch.
08:59The memories from last night
09:01rushed back
09:01before I could stop them.
09:03The burning heat of his skin
09:04pressed against mine.
09:05The sound of his breath
09:07ragged and warm
09:07against my ear.
09:09The ghost of it all
09:10still seemed to linger
09:11in the air around me.
09:12I shook my head hard,
09:14physically trying
09:15to shake myself free of it.
09:16Then I grabbed
09:17the roughest loofah I owned
09:18and scrubbed myself raw
09:20over and over
09:21until my whole body
09:23was flushed pink and stinging.
09:25I was trying,
09:26clumsily,
09:27desperately,
09:28to erase what was officially
09:29the worst night
09:30of my entire life.
09:32The result was
09:33that the pain
09:33kept me awake
09:34the whole night anyway.
09:36Asha didn't text.
09:37For the first time
09:38in six years,
09:39ever since we both got phones,
09:40we didn't say
09:41goodnight to each other.
09:42That was fine.
09:43It was going to happen
09:44eventually anyway.
09:46Tonight was as good
09:46a time as any
09:47to start letting go.
09:49I didn't fall asleep
09:50until just before sunrise,
09:52drifting in and out
09:53of exhaustion.
09:54Early the next morning,
09:55while I was still
09:56buried in sleep,
09:57I felt,
09:58in that foggy space
09:59between dream
10:00and awake,
10:01the soft press of lips
10:02against my forehead.
10:03I jolted awake.
10:04The first thing
10:05my eyes landed on
10:06was a jaw
10:07I knew too well
10:08and the soft dip
10:10of a throat
10:10right above me.
10:12The scent hit me next.
10:13Cedarwood,
10:14that cologne
10:15he always wore
10:15and underneath it,
10:17the faintest trace
10:18of something new,
10:19something citrusy
10:20that wasn't his.
10:22Right,
10:22I'd completely forgotten
10:23that Asha still knew
10:24my front door code.
10:26Seeing me awake,
10:27he shifted lower,
10:28a low laugh
10:28in his throat
10:29and tilted his face
10:30down toward my lips.
10:32I jerked my head
10:33to the side.
10:34I shoved him back
10:34with both hands
10:35and scrambled
10:36to the far edge
10:37of the bed.
10:37He blinked,
10:38then let out a short laugh
10:39like I'd surprised him.
10:41Since when are you shy?
10:42Hmm?
10:43I didn't answer.
10:44I just yanked the blanket
10:45over my head
10:46and disappeared under it.
10:47Asha started talking,
10:49his voice going from amused
10:50to mildly annoyed
10:51as he tugged at the blanket.
10:53Stella,
10:54seriously,
10:54you didn't say goodnight?
10:56You turned your phone off
10:57and now you're hiding
10:58under a blanket?
10:59Still avoiding me?
11:01Then he just
11:02lifted the blanket
11:03and slid himself right in.
11:04I didn't even have time
11:05to react
11:06before his arms
11:07wrapped around me
11:08and pulled me
11:09flush against him.
11:10Hey,
11:11how many times
11:11have I told you
11:12you can't skip breakfast?
11:15I ran half a mile
11:16to get you those croissants
11:17from your favorite place
11:18and stood in line forever.
11:21Want to get up
11:22and eat now
11:22or get eaten?
11:24His breath
11:24was right against my neck,
11:26warm and close,
11:27and his hand
11:28slid deliberately
11:29over my waist.
11:30Reality crashed back in
11:32and I fought
11:32like my life
11:33depended on it,
11:34but I'm 5'2 in sneakers
11:36and Asha is literally
11:376'2 of solid muscle.
11:39It was not even a contest.
11:41I honestly could not
11:42figure out
11:42what game he was playing.
11:44He had Chloe now,
11:45so what was he even
11:46doing in my bed?
11:47Let go of me!
11:48I tried to push him away,
11:50only to be held
11:51even tighter.
11:52After what felt like
11:53forever of thrashing around,
11:55I was panting
11:55and had accomplished nothing
11:57except being held
11:58even tighter.
11:59What's the tantrum about?
12:02You're mad because
12:02I didn't bring you
12:03to the party last night
12:04over something that small?
12:05I said nothing.
12:06He buried his face
12:08in the curve of my neck
12:09and actually laughed.
12:11Let me guess.
12:12Mia told you something.
12:13It was a party game, Stella.
12:15Is it really worth
12:16getting jealous over?
12:17You're doing that thing
12:18you always do.
12:19I get slightly close
12:20to another girl
12:20and you go all silent
12:21and sulky.
12:22I was so furious
12:23I couldn't even
12:24form a sentence.
12:25I dredged up something
12:26from the self-defense
12:27unit in gym class.
12:28Asha's jaw went tight,
12:30his whole face
12:31going red.
12:32I quickly walked
12:32from the bedroom
12:33to the living room.
12:34I did not want
12:35to be in any room
12:36with him
12:36and especially
12:37not my bedroom.
12:38Asha came out
12:39not long after
12:40looking equal parts
12:41irritated and exhausted.
12:43He was quiet
12:43for a long moment
12:44then seemed to
12:45suddenly remember
12:46something
12:46and asked casually.
12:48Hey,
12:49you took that pill
12:50yesterday, right?
12:51Because I really
12:52don't need that
12:52kind of drama
12:53and I definitely
12:54don't want to have
12:55that conversation
12:56with your parents.
12:57Asha walked over
12:58to the counter,
12:59picked up the smoothie
13:00he'd brought
13:00and held it out
13:01to me.
13:02Come on,
13:02be reasonable.
13:03Eat something
13:04before you pick a fight.
13:05You know your stomach's sensitive.
13:06I didn't speak
13:07and I didn't take it.
13:08He held the cup out
13:09for a long, awkward beat
13:11and then his patience cracked.
13:13What is actually going on?
13:15Stella,
13:16even a tantrum
13:17needs a reason.
13:18There have to be
13:19some limits here.
13:19I kept my voice
13:21ice cold
13:21and set it flat.
13:22I don't deserve
13:23to have any say.
13:24Asha snapped.
13:25He slammed the cup
13:26down on the coffee table
13:27so hard it cracked.
13:29The plastic split
13:30and the smoothie
13:30spilled out in a wave,
13:32soaking into the rug.
13:33What is that
13:34supposed to mean?
13:35Who do you think
13:36you are, Stella?
13:38We slept together once.
13:39It was consensual
13:41and now you think
13:42you own me?
13:43Do you know
13:44how suffocating that is?
13:45His voice
13:46had a viciousness
13:47to it I had
13:48never heard before.
13:48The second he finished
13:49speaking my eyes flooded.
13:51No warning,
13:52no build up,
13:53just instant tears.
13:55Yesterday's humiliation
13:56came crashing back,
13:57hitting me all over again
13:59like a fresh wound.
14:00Asha clearly
14:00hadn't expected me
14:01to cry this hard,
14:03this fast.
14:04He looked genuinely thrown,
14:06scrambling for what to do.
14:08I'm sorry.
14:09I drank too much last night
14:11and I was out of line
14:12just now.
14:13He reached out
14:14to wipe my face
14:15but I twisted away,
14:16putting distance between us.
14:17His hand frozen mid-air
14:19hovering there.
14:20He opened his mouth
14:21to keep trying
14:21but his phone buzzed.
14:23He glanced at the screen once
14:24and his entire expression shifted
14:26and moved toward the door.
14:28I've got something urgent.
14:29Take a minute to calm down.
14:31We're going to college soon.
14:32You can't keep throwing fits
14:33like a little kid
14:34who's going to put up with that.
14:36He hadn't been gone 30 minutes
14:38when Mia sent me a screenshot.
14:40Chloe's Instagram story.
14:41Just said I'm hungry
14:42and breakfast appeared like magic.
14:44Pretty sure this is mutual now
14:46with a little heart.
14:47The photo was of the exact same croissants
14:50that were sitting on my kitchen counter.
14:52I didn't respond.
14:53I just quietly wiped my eyes,
14:55got on my hands and knees
14:57and started cleaning up the smoothie
14:58Asha had spilled.
15:00I scrubbed for a long time
15:01before I accepted
15:02with a hollow feeling in my chest
15:04that the stain had soaked
15:06all the way through the wool rug
15:07and wasn't coming out.
15:09So I just threw the whole rug
15:10in the trash.
15:11It didn't matter anyway.
15:13That rug was something Asha
15:14and his parents had spent
15:15an entire afternoon
15:17picking out on a family trip
15:19and he'd lugged it home
15:20in his carry-on himself.
15:21Then I went through everything else.
15:23Every single thing
15:24Asha had ever left at my place.
15:26Every gift he'd given me
15:27over the years.
15:28Every photo of the two of us.
15:30Every small souvenir and keepsake.
15:32It took the rest of the day
15:34but I packed every last bit of it up
15:36and threw it all out.
15:37I doubted he'd want any of it back anyway.
15:40After he left that day
15:41the silence stretched.
15:43Days went by
15:43and he didn't reach out at all.
15:46Things with Chloe
15:46were probably going great
15:48or maybe he was waiting for me
15:49to be the one who caved first.
15:51In every fight we'd ever had
15:53I was always the one
15:54who broke first.
15:55Every single time.
15:57No exceptions.
15:58But this time
15:59I didn't go looking for him.
16:00And I didn't have any reason to.
16:02I blocked him on everything.
16:04Texted all social media.
16:05Changed my front door code.
16:07And deleted every account
16:09he might use to find me.
16:10After that
16:11I called my parents
16:12who were both travelling for work.
16:14I want a spimmer visiting my aunt.
16:17My plan was to stay there
16:18until school started.
16:19Then head straight to California
16:21with Mia
16:21instead of coming home.
16:23Other than Mia
16:23no one else knew yet
16:25that I changed my application.
16:27This plan should work perfectly.
16:29There was basically
16:30zero chance I'd run into Asha
16:32if I pulled this off right.
16:34My mum actually laughed
16:36over the phone.
16:37Ooh
16:37so you and Asha
16:39are taking a vacation together.
16:41I made up a quick excuse
16:42and didn't go into detail.
16:43I wanted to visit
16:44my aunt and grandma.
16:46I begged my dad
16:47to book me
16:47the first available flight
16:48and I was ready to leave
16:50that same night.
16:51Of course
16:51because the universe
16:52has no chill
16:53I ran into Asha's mum
16:54right at our front door
16:56on my way out.
16:57She grabbed my arm warmly
16:58and started chattering.
17:00Stella honey
17:01where's Asher
17:02he's not coming to pick you up.
17:03Didn't he say
17:04he was taking you
17:05on that ski trip?
17:06Go have fun.
17:08I am 100% behind you two.
17:10I was confused.
17:11I had mentioned once
17:12during senior year
17:13I'd always wanted to try
17:15skiing in Colorado
17:16just offhand.
17:18But given everything
17:19that had happened between us
17:20the idea of going on a trip together
17:22seemed completely impossible.
17:24I was running out of time though
17:25so I said something vague
17:27and non-committal
17:28and slipped away.
17:29What I never expected
17:30was that at the airport
17:31I would come face to face
17:33with Asha.
17:34He was with a group of friends.
17:35Chloe was there too.
17:36Asha had her designer bag
17:38in one hand
17:38and his other arm
17:40slung around her shoulder.
17:41They were trailing
17:42at the back of the group.
17:43Every so often
17:44Chloe would lean her head
17:45toward him to say something
17:46and every single time
17:48without any hesitation
17:49he would bend down to listen.
17:51He never did that with me.
17:53Asha had always been
17:54taller than me
17:55and the gap had only
17:56gotten bigger
17:57over the years.
17:58When it was the two of us
17:59I was always the one
18:00bouncing on my toes
18:01craning my neck up
18:02just to catch his eyes.
18:04Turns out
18:04for the right person
18:05he would be the one who bends.
18:07I breathed in slowly.
18:09I told myself
18:10I needed to have
18:10some dignity about this.
18:12Whatever he did
18:13was none of my business.
18:14If I let myself overthink it
18:15I deserved to be slapped.
18:17But there seemed to be
18:18only one path to the gate.
18:19All I could do
18:20was stay far enough behind
18:21that he wouldn't notice me.
18:23By some miracle
18:24we eventually reached a fork
18:25in the terminal
18:26where the paths split.
18:28Asha seemed to get
18:29distracted around then.
18:30He made a bunch of calls
18:31none of which
18:32seemed to go through
18:33and then spent
18:34a long time
18:35staring at his phone.
18:36Eventually
18:37he borrowed
18:37someone else's phone
18:38his face dark
18:39and unreadable
18:40and disappeared
18:41into a nearby bathroom.
18:43A moment later
18:44my phone rang.
18:45Unknown number.
18:46So you've got
18:47a real attitude
18:48on you this time.
18:49You're just not
18:49going to come to me first?
18:51You actually blocked me?
18:52Fine.
18:53Keep it up.
18:54How great you do
18:54when we're both in Boston
18:55and you don't know anyone
18:57and there's no one
18:58to look out for you.
18:59Asha came out swinging
19:00rattling off complaints
19:01in one long
19:02irritated breath.
19:03I had absolutely
19:04nothing to say
19:05to any of that
19:06but Asha seemed
19:07to get angrier
19:08at my silence.
19:09I'm done talking
19:10about this.
19:11Just unblock me.
19:12I'm heading out
19:13of the country
19:13for a couple days
19:14with some friends.
19:15Probably won't have
19:16great reception.
19:17Don't get all weepy
19:18about it.
19:19I couldn't even be bothered
19:20to say a single word back.
19:21I hung up
19:22and turned my phone off.
19:23From across the terminal
19:24I watched Asha stalk
19:26back to his group.
19:27His expression stormy.
19:28He grabbed Chloe's hand
19:30didn't hesitate
19:31for a second
19:31and walked
19:32toward the left gate.
19:34I let out a long breath
19:35turned around
19:35and headed right.
19:37With my family
19:38I performed Happens
19:39and honestly
19:40I got pretty good at it.
19:41I deliberately kept myself
19:42slammed with plans
19:43filling every gap
19:44in the day
19:45so I had no meaning
19:46to spiral.
19:47I definitely didn't
19:47add Asha back
19:48the way he demanded
19:49but Mia and some others
19:51kept me updated
19:52on his life anyway.
19:53Asha and his friends
19:54had apparently been
19:55skiing in Colorado
19:56for days.
19:57For some reason
19:58he was suddenly
19:58posting on social media
20:00every single day
20:01which was completely
20:02unlike the version
20:03of him
20:03who used to go months
20:05without posting anything.
20:06Sometimes it was
20:07slow motion clips
20:08of him carving down
20:09the slopes.
20:10Sometimes it was
20:10food and late night
20:11parties but mostly
20:13it was big group
20:14shots of everyone
20:14clowning around
20:15in the snow.
20:16Even though
20:17I genuinely
20:18didn't want to see it.
20:19Somehow people
20:20kept sending it to me
20:21unprompted.
20:22Everyone was very
20:23casually curious
20:24about why
20:24I hadn't gone with Asha.
20:26I didn't know
20:26what to say
20:27so I just told people
20:28I had family stuff
20:29going on.
20:30Mia was the only one
20:31who openly called
20:32him a trash human.
20:34Everyone else around
20:34me seemed to be
20:35constantly stopping
20:36themselves from
20:37saying something.
20:38I knew
20:38they'd probably figured
20:39out something was wrong.
20:40In every single
20:42group photo Asha posted
20:43he and Chloe
20:44were glued together
20:45inseparable
20:46but that spot
20:47beside him
20:48had been mine
20:49for years
20:49just mine.
20:51Every time I saw
20:51one of those photos
20:52my face stayed
20:54completely neutral
20:55but something deep
20:56in my chest
20:57would clench.
20:58He was the first
20:58person I ever fell for
21:00someone I had
21:01genuinely
21:01completely
21:03embarrassingly
21:04loved for such
21:05a long time.
21:05In the middle
21:06of the night
21:06alone
21:07I would fall apart
21:08a little
21:09and sometimes
21:10I felt this
21:10stubborn
21:11stupid feeling
21:12that I wasn't
21:13ready to let go
21:14but every time
21:14that feeling
21:15started rising
21:16I'd replay
21:17his words
21:17and give myself
21:18a mental slap.
21:20I'd repeat it
21:20to myself
21:21over and over.
21:22Stella don't be
21:23pathetic.
21:24That's the fastest
21:24way to make yourself
21:25even less worth
21:26respecting.
21:27Even less worth
21:27respecting.
21:28Just hold on
21:29a little longer.
21:30Once the detox
21:31period was over
21:32everything would
21:33be fine.
21:34We went a full
21:34month without
21:35any contact.
21:36The longest
21:37we'd ever
21:37gone since
21:38the day
21:38we met.
21:39Distance
21:39and time
21:40turned out
21:40to be
21:41the best
21:41medicine.
21:42I ground
21:42through the
21:43worst of it
21:43and came
21:44out the
21:44other side.
21:45Just when
21:45I'd reached
21:46the point
21:46where I
21:46didn't think
21:47about him
21:47every hour
21:48of every
21:49day
21:49he switched
21:50to a new
21:51number
21:51and called
21:52me from
21:52across the
21:53country.
21:53So you're
21:54just that
21:54bold
21:55running off
21:56without me
21:56and staying
21:57this long?
21:57Summer's
21:58almost over
21:58Stella.
21:59Did you forget
21:59you promised
22:00to go on a
22:00trip with me?
22:02Maybe it was
22:03because we'd
22:03gone so long
22:04without talking
22:05but underneath
22:05all the
22:06complaints
22:06his voice
22:07had this
22:08edge to
22:08it
22:08almost
22:09careful.
22:10I still
22:10didn't want
22:11to talk
22:11to him.
22:12I was
22:12about to
22:12hang up
22:13when his
22:13mom
22:13snatched
22:14the phone.
22:14Stella,
22:15sweetheart,
22:16are you
22:16having fun
22:17out there?
22:18This boy
22:18won't tell
22:19me anything.
22:20I only
22:20just found
22:21out you
22:21two had
22:21a fight.
22:22Don't
22:22be too
22:23hard on
22:23him,
22:23honey.
22:24When you
22:25come back,
22:25I'll make
22:26him apologize
22:26to your
22:27face.
22:27And Asher
22:28just got
22:28his acceptance
22:29letter today.
22:30Yours
22:30should come
22:31soon too.
22:32Have you
22:32thought about
22:33when you'll
22:33come home
22:33for your
22:34going away
22:34party?
22:35I've got
22:36a little
22:36surprise
22:36plan.
22:37Asher's
22:38mom had
22:38been like
22:39a second
22:39family to
22:40me since
22:40I was
22:40little.
22:41I couldn't
22:41bring myself
22:42to hang
22:42up on
22:42her,
22:43so I
22:43stayed
22:43on and
22:44let her
22:44talk.
22:45I'm not
22:45really
22:46planning
22:46to have
22:46a
22:46party.
22:47My
22:47parents
22:48are
22:48always
22:48traveling
22:49and
22:49honestly
22:49we
22:49can
22:50just
22:50do
22:50a
22:50video
22:50call
22:51thing
22:51with
22:51family.
22:52I
22:52probably
22:52won't
22:52be
22:52back
22:53before
22:53school
22:53starts
22:54anyway.
22:54I'll
22:54just
22:54come
22:55home
22:55right
22:55before
22:55move
22:55in.
22:56I
22:56didn't
22:56even
22:56finish
22:57the
22:57sentence
22:57before
22:58Asher
22:58took
22:58the
22:58phone
22:59back.
22:59His
22:59breathing
23:00was
23:00heavy.
23:00I
23:01could
23:01feel
23:01the
23:01anger
23:02coming
23:02through
23:02from
23:033,000
23:03miles
23:04away.
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