- 23 minutes ago
My Fake Office Fiancé
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:15Oh, fuck.
00:16Okay, time to go.
00:18What is this?
00:19It's 6 a.m.
00:20Oh my god, baby.
00:21It's too early.
00:22First of all, let me be very clear.
00:24I am not your baby.
00:25Second of all, get out of my house before I call security.
00:28Are you crazy?
00:29No.
00:30Just very busy.
00:32You are seriously kicking me out after all the fun we had last night.
00:37Last night was fun for you.
00:40For me, not so much.
00:41Time to go.
00:43Rapido, rapido.
00:44Let's keep going.
00:45Keep it going.
00:46Hey, listen.
00:48Don't you know who my father is?
00:49You couldn't have had it all.
00:51I'll be treating you like a queen by now.
00:52That is quite the offer for a one-night stand.
00:55You listen to me.
00:56No man in their right mind would ever, but not ever, marry you.
00:59Do you understand?
01:00You are going to die alone, you heartless fucking cow.
01:04Well, lucky for me, I would rather die than get married.
01:07To you or to anyone.
01:09Goodbye.
01:12My shoes are still there.
01:15Fuck.
01:44You're so naughty.
01:46A new script came in.
01:48I need you to redo the whole thing.
01:50Right.
01:51Big wigs are waiting for you in the conference room.
01:53This is it.
01:55I've worked my ass off for this.
01:57And what a fine job you've done.
02:02I know that shit, Aidingrin.
02:04What do you want?
02:05It's promotion day.
02:06For you and me.
02:08I'm just dreaming of my new window office.
02:10Ooh, out of the question.
02:11What?
02:12Oh, no, no, no, no.
02:13I have done everything you've asked for three years.
02:16Mm-hmm.
02:16You made a deal with me when I took this job.
02:18I stayed with you and put it with all of your...
02:20Look, Bri, I am the boss.
02:22You are the glorified secretary.
02:25I decide who gets what around here.
02:28You jump when I say jump.
02:30You bow down when I say so.
02:32Got it?
02:33Yeah.
02:34So, on your knees.
02:47That's a good boy.
02:54Don't say shit.
02:57Hi.
02:58Huh.
03:01Jenna, we've had our eye on you.
03:03Yeah.
03:04And we'd like you to be the next CEO.
03:08However, there is one little snag.
03:11For you to be our CEO, you're gonna have to be married.
03:16Huh?
03:16That cold-hearted bitch.
03:18No promotion, huh?
03:19That's it.
03:20I'm gonna quit.
03:21I'm gonna go in there and tell it right to her sadistic fucking face.
03:28I'm sorry.
03:28You're saying my options are I get married in a week or I forfeit the CEO position?
03:36Where is this coming from?
03:38The shareholders.
03:41You know my son, Devin, he's our newest board member as of this morning.
03:46We know it sounds a little backward.
03:49Shareholders expect traditional family values.
03:53As a single woman, you're just too intimidating for these guys.
03:58Jenna, we need to talk.
04:02All right?
04:03I can't hold it in any longer.
04:05Me neither.
04:05Surprise!
04:07We're engaged.
04:08We're engaged.
04:11We're engaged.
04:24We're engaged.
04:25Yep.
04:26Engaged.
04:28Brian.
04:29Brian...
04:31Seriously?
04:32It's been three years.
04:34Arnhem.
04:35Brian Arnhem.
04:36My assistant and the love of my life.
04:40Oh!
04:41Right.
04:41Is this true?
04:44Of course it is.
04:47Jenna King is my kind, sweet, loving fiancée.
05:00What did he say to her?
05:02It's all settled then.
05:04We'll get the paperwork made up immediately.
05:07Next week after the wedding, we'll make it official.
05:10Of course.
05:12Engaged means we'll be getting married next week.
05:16It's different when you say, like...
05:20Congratulations.
05:21Congratulations.
05:22See you at the wedding.
05:26You're going down, Kate.
05:27Not if things went the way they did last night.
05:39What the fuck?
05:41I know.
05:42What the fuck?
05:44I know.
05:45Look, they weren't going to give me the position unless I said that I was married.
05:50I panicked.
05:51Oh!
05:52Well, you can keep panicking.
05:53Because we're not getting married.
05:55I came in here to tell you that I quit.
05:58What?
05:58And that you're a selfish asshole.
06:04Okay, that sounded a lot more harsh out loud.
06:07What are you going to do about it, huh?
06:09Fire me?
06:10You are selfish, Jenna.
06:12Yeah, but so are you, Brian.
06:14Oh?
06:15What do you want?
06:18I want a raise.
06:20Fine.
06:21No, no, no.
06:21I want a promotion.
06:23Then the raise.
06:23This is not a fucking magic lamp, Brian.
06:25Oh, well, then I'll just tell them you lied.
06:26Oh, Devin!
06:27No, no, no, no.
06:28Okay, fine.
06:28Fine.
06:29You can have a raise.
06:31And promotion.
06:32And your promotion.
06:33Yeah.
06:36I didn't know you were so annoying.
06:37Oh.
06:38Well.
06:40I certainly knew you were.
06:41You're engaged?
06:43Uh-huh.
06:44How could you?
06:47Oh.
06:49What are you doing?
06:51Pimping.
06:53Oh.
06:56Ow!
06:57Um.
06:59It's not like you would tell your ex-girlfriend
07:02that you're even seeing someone?
07:03What?
07:04Betrayal!
07:05Tasha, come on.
07:07We went out for one drink.
07:10And then we slept together for months.
07:13Don't worry.
07:15Oh, don't touch me.
07:16No, no.
07:18As an inter-office relationship,
07:20you both are subjected for an HR interview.
07:23Answers to this interview are considered on the record
07:26and result in considerable fines
07:28if found to falsely represent the relationship.
07:31Okay, that doesn't sound legal.
07:33I don't make the rules, Mr. Arnhem.
07:36But I do.
07:38Isn't that funny?
07:41As you know, it's a very powerful company,
07:44which means that if we ever find out
07:47that this engagement of yours is a sham,
07:49not only will you lose the CEO position,
07:52but we will ruin you.
07:55Legal or not.
08:00Question number one.
08:01When was the first time you two were intimate?
08:03Intimate.
08:08Oh, you owe me big time.
08:11It was, uh, after the Poulsen style party.
08:15Yeah.
08:16Ms. King, uh, Jenna,
08:18invited me as her plus one.
08:23Clark! Honey!
08:24You said you would do it!
08:25I don't want to.
08:26Hey, stop.
08:37And, uh, we shared a very, very special night.
08:43What?
08:44Please just stop.
08:47No, I'm not.
08:48No, I'm not.
08:48Come on!
08:49I'm not.
08:50Okay.
08:51Come on, show me.
08:52What do you got?
08:52Best move.
08:54Step touch.
08:55Okay.
08:59Come.
09:01A little bit.
09:09Can I kiss you?
09:11Such a gentleman.
09:14Time to go.
09:22Thanks, bud.
09:24Let's go.
09:25Let's go.
09:28Let's go.
09:28Yep.
09:29That was the first time we were intimate.
09:33Charmy.
09:35Moving on.
09:36What is Jenna's favorite underwear?
09:39This is ridiculous.
09:41Standard procedure.
09:42Yeah.
09:43But if you don't want to go through it,
09:44I'm more than happy to tell the board that you were
09:47receiving the offer of CEO.
09:50Black lace.
09:52From Agent Lace.
09:54Collab with Lovely Design.
09:56Is it also standard procedure to, uh,
09:57have her strip right here to prove it?
10:00He's so funny.
10:01He's so funny.
10:04Favorite movie?
10:05Speed 2.
10:07Favorite flower?
10:09Peonies.
10:09Especially when they're not in season.
10:15Well, you two seem to know a lot about each other,
10:18right?
10:18But Brian, did you happen to know that your fiancee here,
10:23she was cheating on you last night?
10:26With me.
10:31Yeah, well, we, uh, had a sort of
10:34last hurrah moment.
10:36And, uh, honestly, I'm just surprised that she
10:39spent her last hurrah slumming it with you.
10:44You two better watch her back because I'm coming for you.
10:47And I'll expose you.
10:50And then I'll ruin you both.
10:53Good luck.
10:56Tasha.
11:05That was brutal.
11:07I can't believe you slept with that guy.
11:09You're one to talk.
11:10Touché.
11:13He's right, though.
11:16If we're gonna do this, we need to really commit.
11:20You need to move in.
11:21Tonight.
11:24Here.
11:25Take my card.
11:27I'll cover any moving expenses.
11:29Look, this isn't ideal for me either.
11:32Believe me.
11:33But we need to make it at least look like we're on a united front.
11:41By the way, how did you do that?
11:43And all the answers to the questions.
11:44It's like you were living in my brain.
11:47Jenna.
11:48It's literally my job to know and anticipate everything about you.
11:52Well, it's creepy.
11:54Hey, just be glad they didn't ask anything about me.
11:57What is that supposed to mean?
11:59You know absolutely nothing about me.
12:02That is incredibly untrue.
12:04Where am I from?
12:06Uh, farm.
12:09Ville.
12:10Nice.
12:11How old am I?
12:13Hopefully over 18, am I right?
12:16I'm turning 30 on Sunday.
12:18Really? 30?
12:19And you're still an assistant?
12:22My bad.
12:23I will take you out for a nice dinner.
12:28Sunday is the day that we're getting married.
12:30Right.
12:33Ranger.
12:34Oh.
12:36This is serious, Jenna.
12:39Alright.
12:40It's probably fun for you fucking around with finance bros.
12:44But this could ruin us.
12:46And you might be fine.
12:47But I could lose everything.
12:49I'm out on a limb for you.
12:51I know.
12:52I know I'm asking a lot of you.
12:54But I swear I will make it up to you.
12:57Starting today.
13:03Oh, come on.
13:04Oh, fuck my ass.
13:07Come on.
13:08Ha, ha, ha.
13:11That's right, mother.
13:12Fuck!
13:18No fucking way.
13:20Welcome home, sweetheart.
13:22What did you do?
13:23You told me I needed to move in.
13:25So I moved in.
13:26It's like a fucking manosphere threw up on my house.
13:31Our house.
13:33You know, I'm starting to agree with Devin.
13:35This place could use a bit more of a masculine touch, bro.
13:39Mm-mm.
13:39Oh, and, uh, here.
13:42These receipts are for you.
13:43Get your feet off the designer chair.
13:46Were you raised in a barn?
13:48No.
13:49The farmhouse next to the barn.
13:57Two.
14:00God, I love that.
14:06Is this a fucking water bed?
14:08You know, my landlord would never let me have it.
14:09Where is the $3,000 California king I had custom made?
14:13Hm?
14:14Oh, right.
14:15In the alley, being used by a wino as a toilet.
14:19Hey.
14:20Don't worry about it.
14:23Oh, come on.
14:24Now we can sleep all close and snuggly.
14:26Very cute.
14:27Now I can see that you're pleased with yourself.
14:30Torturing me.
14:30Oh, I thought you'd like it.
14:32I don't let anyone sleep with me.
14:34Not even hookups.
14:36This is supposed to be my space away from people.
14:40My sanctuary.
14:42Our sanctuary.
14:43Finish that word.
14:45I will smuggle you with a pillow.
14:53If this is going to work,
14:55there are going to be certain rules that we both need to agree to.
14:58A contract.
15:00Got it?
15:01I'm keeping the bed.
15:03Keep the bed.
15:04I will sleep in the guest room.
15:10What does our engagement contract say about consummating the marriage?
15:13Don't.
15:14Take that as a no.
15:16Okay. Engagement contract.
15:19Here are the terms.
15:21Sleeping quarters will be separate.
15:25Next, add physical affection only when required.
15:30Like in public.
15:32Nothing gratuitous.
15:34Gratuitous?
15:40No dating or hooking up until the CEO paperwork is signed.
15:41You mean...
15:41You mean...
15:44Think that?
15:47I never felt like this before.
15:51Yeah, I'll try to control myself.
15:58Good.
16:00Nothing gratuitous.
16:02No dating or hooking up until the CEO paperwork is signed.
16:06And my promotion paperwork.
16:08Whatever.
16:09And...
16:11Full and total verbal commitment to each other.
16:13Blah blah blah.
16:13I get to pick the wedding DJ.
16:14No. No DJ.
16:16This is going to be a good old-fashioned courthouse shotgun wedding.
16:20Except I am not pregnant.
16:22Just when I thought you couldn't get any less fun.
16:24Where do I sign?
16:25We, Jenna King and Brian Arnhem, enter into this agreement of engagement willingly and of our own volition.
16:32What? Were you like a lawyer or something?
16:35Used to be.
16:39What? I practiced before I joined Purple Rabbit.
16:42And...
16:42Now.
16:44Sign there.
16:53Great.
17:07Hey, Jenna, it's...
17:09I'm sorry. These are...
17:10My parents.
17:11Mary and Cody.
17:12Your parents.
17:15Your parents?
17:16And you must be Jenna.
17:17It's so nice to meet you.
17:20Appreciate y'all having us.
17:22Right. Uh...
17:23Right.
17:24Mom.
17:25Dad, what are y'all doing here?
17:27You said you couldn't make it home for your big birthday weekend because of work.
17:31So...
17:31Surprise!
17:32We came to you.
17:33We went by your old place, but your roomie said you were here.
17:36Sure.
17:37And that you were getting married!
17:39Right.
17:39Yeah.
17:40We almost forgot.
17:41We...
17:42We're engaged!
17:44We want to hear all about the engagement.
17:46Yeah.
17:46After we unpack.
17:48After you what?
17:49Right.
17:51Lovely.
17:52Are you guys sure you wouldn't be more comfortable in like a hotel or something?
17:57Oh.
17:57Jenna.
17:58They'll stay in the guest room.
18:00Family stays with family.
18:01And hey!
18:02You're family now, Jayma.
18:04Jenna.
18:05Plus, we want to get to know the gal that stole Bright's heart so suddenly.
18:09All right.
18:10So, how long are you guys staying?
18:12We just wanted to stay for the big birthday weekend.
18:15We can't.
18:15But now that you two are engaged, we've got weeks of planning to do!
18:22Weeks!
18:24Weeks!
18:25Weeks?
18:26Really?
18:27We will be married and divorced by then.
18:30Why didn't you tell them that we're getting married next week?
18:32Come on.
18:33A courthouse wedding would devastate my mother.
18:35She's so excited about this.
18:36Just play along for a few days until I find a time to tell her.
18:41Fine.
18:42But remember when I said I don't like people invading my privacy?
18:45Oh yeah, I was going to ask you about that.
18:46Are you just afraid of people knowing the real you or is it more of a preservation thing?
18:49Stop guessing about my neuroses!
18:53I wouldn't have to guess if you'd just trust me.
18:59I do trust you.
19:03Obviously.
19:03No.
19:04You trust me with your schedule and your dry cleaning.
19:07Alright?
19:08I know almost everything about you.
19:11You know nothing about me.
19:17Am I wrong?
19:20I'll sleep on the floor.
19:22Uh-uh.
19:23I am just as stubborn as you.
19:25And twice the gentleman.
19:27You're on the bed.
19:34You're my apple.
19:36I'm a big friend.
19:38I am just loving.
19:39We're at you.
19:42I'm a big one.
19:45You're my apple.
19:45I can't wait.
19:46You're my apple.
19:50You're my apple.
19:53When I come out to the spot
19:55Got me cooking on here
19:57Got my apple
19:58Taza
19:59Off it
20:00Joining me?
20:12You know, for somebody who loves their privacy, you sure hate knocking.
20:16Could you just put some clothes on, please?
20:19This is incredibly inappropriate.
20:21What are you saying, boss?
20:23Ah, yes, speaking of, do your parents know who I am?
20:27What do you mean?
20:28Do they know I'm your boss?
20:29Probably not.
20:31You know, usually I just refer to you by one of my pet names.
20:35What pet names?
20:38Satan.
20:39Satan's mistress.
20:40Devil incarnate.
20:42The dark princess of the underworld.
20:44Mainly just variations on the same theme.
20:47Unbelievable.
20:49Truly.
20:53I, uh, don't think this will fit.
20:56I don't think it's a good idea for me to play hooky from work right now.
20:58You know, important business things and assistant.
21:00You could be sick one day.
21:02That witch doesn't deserve you.
21:04Right, Jenna?
21:06I'm sure that witch could do a day without you.
21:09Could she?
21:11It's not like she has anything hugely important going on.
21:16Okay, we'll have fun.
21:17Aren't you coming?
21:18Didn't you say you were between jobs?
21:21I did say that.
21:22Mm-hmm.
21:23Good.
21:24So what do you have in mind?
21:27There's a lookout at the top of the mountain!
21:29Come on, slowpokes!
21:30Sightseeing is very different than hiking, Brian.
21:35Okay.
21:36Oh.
21:38I...
21:41Okay.
21:45I just...
21:47I didn't need to say...
21:48I didn't need to say...
21:49Hey, hey, hey.
21:57Okay.
21:58So.
21:59More of an inside girlie.
22:00Noted.
22:01I run every morning.
22:03Right.
22:05Like on a treadmill.
22:07Like a civilized person.
22:11This is my nightmare.
22:14What?
22:16Well, all of this.
22:17Strangers in my home.
22:19Hugging me.
22:20A wedding!
22:21A wedding!
22:23Oh my god, the thought of a poofy white dress literally makes me want to puke.
22:33Well, if it's any consolation, I really do appreciate you being here.
22:36You know, it means so much to my parents to be here with me, and they are psyched about you.
22:43Family is everything.
22:45Family is overrated.
22:47Oh, speaking of, I did invite your parents to the wedding.
22:51What?
22:54Just kidding.
22:56Sort of.
22:57I know family's not really your thing, but I did make a few fake invitations and left them on my
23:01desk.
23:02And just to really sell it, I just went to Mr. and Mrs. King.
23:08Is this fun for you?
23:11Terrorizing me?
23:12Oh, immensely.
23:13What do you do for fun?
23:15Besides feast on the unborn?
23:16Um, close the red floor stories deal.
23:19Um, review development slates, sign paychecks, manage schedules, order coffee.
23:25Work, work, work.
23:26You know, there is such a thing as work-life balance, right?
23:29That is the funniest thing I have ever heard.
23:31Do you think I like being this way?
23:34I have been there since I graduated, and I still have to work twice as hard for them to take
23:39me seriously.
23:41You're right.
23:42What?
23:44It must suck.
23:46You are the most talented producer they have, by far.
23:50And it must suck to have to prove yourself time and time again.
23:54Oh, God.
23:54Especially when idiots like Devin just prance on in because they have a dick.
24:00Granted, I assume it's a pretty small, oddly shaped dick.
24:04Yeah.
24:05But you do deserve better.
24:14Okay, now on to the top.
24:17Buck up, buttercup.
24:26Ma, here, I know how much you love your chocolate chips.
24:28Oh, thank you, dear.
24:31I sure do love my chocolate chip cookies.
24:34Jenna, that salad looks delicious.
24:37Oh, yeah, it's a chopped salad.
24:40Are you kidding me?
24:42That's not just any chopped salad.
24:43That's the chopped salad.
24:44Extra chopped, no basil, no spices.
24:46Just the way she likes it.
24:48Wow.
24:48You're going to make a great husband, Bri.
24:53Right.
24:54Yes.
24:55Thank you, babe.
24:57Right.
25:04Oh, you don't have to be shy in front of us kids.
25:06You know, when your father proposed, he couldn't keep his hands off me.
25:09Still can't keep me.
25:10Oh!
25:11Stop it!
25:12No, please stop.
25:13No.
25:13You old porndog.
25:14Please don't.
25:15Yeah.
25:16Sorry.
25:18Hey, you know, the old ball and chain.
25:23I am not old.
25:25Oh, well, you certainly act a lot older than you are then.
25:30Yeah?
25:31Yeah.
25:31At least I don't act like a frat boy.
25:34Right.
25:34Right.
25:35Right.
25:35Right.
26:02Anybody want a drink?
26:04I know I do.
26:05Yeah.
26:08All right.
26:11Pull yourself together, man.
26:13It's a contract.
26:14Strictly professional.
26:17Right.
26:18Hi.
26:19Do you have anything stronger than coffee?
26:24So, Jenna, tell us what you have planned.
26:28For what?
26:30Oh, boobies, probably.
26:33No, silly.
26:35The wedding.
26:35You are a hoot.
26:38Yeah, probably just something simple like a courthouse.
26:44Probably next week.
26:45Oh, a good old-fashioned shotgun courthouse wedding.
26:48Exactly.
26:50Exactly.
26:50Except I'm not pregnant.
26:53No.
26:54No, you can't be getting married in some dusty old courthouse.
26:58Sweetie, last minute we can work with, but this is going to be your wedding day.
27:02It's fine.
27:03Don't worry, Jenna B.
27:04I will help you every step of the way.
27:07I will help you every step of the way.
27:07We'll start today.
27:09Ah, I'm actually...
27:11Oh.
27:12What did I miss?
27:13We are going wedding dress shopping.
27:18She loves dresses, especially wedding dresses.
27:22There's bourbon in here.
27:22Drink.
27:27Oh, isn't everything just so beautiful?
27:32Don't you just love, love?
27:35Uh-huh.
27:38Is something the matter?
27:42Maybe this is also complicated.
27:45Oh, sweetheart.
27:47I'm not going to lie to you.
27:48Marriage is complicated.
27:51If you follow your heart, you always end up in the right place.
27:54And I could see how good and big your heart is, Jenna.
27:58I don't know about that.
28:00It is.
28:01You got to believe it.
28:06Showtime.
28:10Hit me back.
28:12Never make care.
28:14Tell me something.
28:15You better not share.
28:17You couldn't have vicious.
28:20I wanted to be.
28:22Digging when you're out, cause.
28:23You promised to be.
28:25So never give in to my natural emotions.
28:29Keep in your head that you know the weapon to survive.
28:33Never give in to my natural emotions
28:37Even in your head that you know that it just takes some time
28:44Just takes time
28:48Just takes time
29:02I think you found the one
29:11Jenna, you feeling okay?
29:13You're looking a little pale
29:15Yeah, yeah, it's probably just the pike and champagne
29:18And dancing
29:24I think I'm gonna faint
29:27Jenna, you okay?
29:34Yeah, yeah, I'm good, I'm good
29:37You look beautiful
29:40Oh no
29:46She'll be fine
29:48Take her home
29:50Here, come on
29:53Let's get you some rest
29:57You know, you weren't kidding
29:59When you said wedding dresses really disagreed with you
30:01Not the time, Bri
30:03I don't even know what happened
30:05Oh, I talked to the doctor
30:07He said you just had too much fun
30:10A little bit of rest
30:11You'll be right back on your feet
30:14Look on, look on
30:16Here
30:20You can have my session blanket
30:24Yeah, there you go
30:26Some water over here if you need it too
30:28Your mom's really sweet, by the way
30:31Your whole family is
30:33I'll see where you get it
30:36Was that a compliment?
30:38Maybe we should take you to the ER
30:41Stop, don't make me laugh at my weekend's tape
30:44Sorry, sorry
30:48I don't think anyone's ever actually taken care of me before
30:51Really?
30:53But you make it so easy
30:58My parents never really cared about me like that
31:01It's like their careers and lives were so much more important than me
31:04Growing up, I was a parent
31:08And I think I just started
31:11Seeing and believing, really
31:13That showing vulnerability was a weakness
31:17Yeah
31:17Well, that sounds pretty hard
31:19Made me a good producer
31:21But a bad partner, I think
31:23You're not a bad anything, Jenna
31:27Right, we're all humans
31:28Just
31:30Trying our best
31:33Except Devin
31:34Oh, yeah
31:35Except Devin
31:36Fuck that guy
31:37Fuck that guy
31:39Okay
31:43Well, fuck Devin
31:44Yeah, fuck Devin
32:21Hi
32:24Morning. Good morning. I'm really glad you didn't turn into a pumpkin last night. Or whatever they have in hell.
32:32Right. Because I'm the devil.
32:42Um. Thank you. It was really sweet of you to take care of me.
32:48What? Are you still sick? Do you have a fever or something?
32:55I. It feels really nice.
33:09Are you feeling good?
33:19I. Gotta go.
33:27Gotta go to work. Bye.
33:35Oh my god. I love Brian.
33:37Jenna?
33:45Okay.
33:48Wow. I really have no friends to talk to. Maybe Brian was right about this whole work-life balance.
33:56Oh shit. My meeting.
33:58Okay. That is a problem for future Jenna. Just get it together, babe.
34:02And stop talking to yourself. Starting now.
34:08Okay.
34:11So, with the new script changes.
34:13I wish Brian was here.
34:17Schedule changes.
34:19I can't believe she slept with my husband.
34:22Did I just say husband?
34:23You seem a little distracted, Jenna.
34:26No.
34:27Not a good look for the next CEO.
34:29No, no. Everything. Everything is good. Everything is great.
34:32Let's just pick this up after the wedding. You seem to have a lot on your mind right now.
34:40Yeah.
34:43Tick, tock, tick, tock. It all falls down.
34:49It's two different nursery rhymes, you moron.
34:52Did you just call me a moron?
35:01Hey, I'm just gonna tell him that I have real feelings and be able to think straight.
35:10Jenna! I met your new neighbor!
35:19Clark?
35:21Long time no see, Jenna.
35:24Oh, you two know each other.
35:26I'll start dinner so you can catch up.
35:29Brian will be home soon.
35:30Who?
35:31Uh, Brian, he's...
35:34He'll be home soon.
35:35Okay.
35:37So what are you doing here?
35:39Funny enough, just moved in.
35:40Down the street.
35:42Why?
35:43You hate this neighborhood.
35:45Things change.
35:47People change.
35:48Look, I'm not the man who I once was.
35:50Okay?
35:51I'm not the one who let you get away.
35:59What we had?
36:00It was special.
36:01You can't deny that.
36:02I...
36:03I don't know what to say.
36:04Say it's not too late.
36:06Is it?
36:09Right.
36:14I'm engaged.
36:15Didn't answer my question.
36:16You left me.
36:18You broke my heart.
36:19You don't know how sorry I am, truly.
36:22I wasn't ready then, but I am now, okay?
36:25I'll prove it to you.
36:27I don't have time for this.
36:30Do you love him?
36:31If you do, just tell me.
36:33I'll leave you alone for good.
36:35Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
36:39Clark, would you like to join us for dinner?
36:43Um...
36:43No, no, no.
36:45Sure.
36:46Great.
36:51Mom, I'm dying if you don't mind.
36:53Oh, sure.
36:54Yeah.
36:57Here you go, pal.
36:59Thanks for coming.
37:00Yeah, appreciate it.
37:01Look at this.
37:02All right, let's...
37:05Ooh.
37:07Nice.
37:07Comfy.
37:08Yeah, it's powder.
37:12Craig, could you pass the wine?
37:18Brian, could you pass the wine?
37:27Hi.
37:28I'll do it myself.
37:31Clark said you two go way back.
37:33Yeah, I knew Jen before all sass, no frass.
37:38I rather like strong, independent Jenna.
37:43Sass and all.
37:44Well, any Jenna's better than no Jenna, right?
37:50Uh, Jenna, any wedding progress today?
37:54Oh, no, but we're still planning.
37:57I thought you hated planning weddings.
38:00People change.
38:02Right?
38:25I know you and Clark dated, but were you ever in love with him?
38:35We were engaged.
38:47Glad to see you're still running.
38:49Mind if I join?
38:56May I?
39:04There.
39:10All right, come on.
39:25It was great catching up, Jen.
39:30What's up, Brian?
39:33What's up?
39:39Do you make breakfast?
39:43I did.
39:45That plate's for you.
39:47Although, I see you are gay.
39:49Got a little something left.
39:51He is harmless, Brian.
39:53Really.
39:56Brian, we're going to be late to meet my parents.
40:00You should put a shirt on.
40:10Oh, my God.
40:12It's so good.
40:12Do you like this?
40:13It's delicious and very good.
40:20Here, Brian guy, give Jim some of this.
40:25Here you go, sweetie.
40:30If it isn't the happiest couple ever.
40:34Oh, my God.
40:37That's a spirit.
40:40Airplane figure.
40:42Oh, Dad.
40:44These are the board members of my company.
40:46The big day is almost here.
40:48Are you getting excited?
40:49Over the moon.
40:50I just have to figure out how to smuggle a wedding cake into a courthouse.
40:54Oh, no.
40:55You can't get married at the courthouse.
40:58Devin, call the staff.
41:00Tell them to prepare the house for a wedding this Sunday.
41:03No, uh...
41:04Can we at least offer you some cake?
41:07Well, um...
41:08Oh, no, no.
41:09He's probably really busy.
41:10He's got lots of meetings going on.
41:13No.
41:13Usually very...
41:14Very...
41:15I need you to meet me at the cafe right now.
41:18Hey.
41:20How are you guys doing?
41:22Oh, my God.
41:22Come right on in.
41:23Oh, really good.
41:25You know what?
41:25I just realized we haven't heard the proposal story yet.
41:28It must be amazing, huh?
41:30So good.
41:30Please, tell us about it.
41:33It's actually a really funny story.
41:35Really?
41:36Um...
41:37Clark.
41:41Clark!
41:42Clark?
41:45I thought your name was Brian.
41:51Why don't you join us?
41:52We're just hearing about the proposal story.
41:55What if I do?
41:56Go on, Jenna.
42:01It was our anniversary.
42:04And, um...
42:07He wrote me a poem.
42:11It was so sweet.
42:14And masculine.
42:15And hot.
42:17And then he took me to a poetry reading.
42:21I didn't know you liked poetry, son.
42:22I don't.
42:23But apparently Jenna does.
42:25You know,
42:26Ode to a Fancy Urn is my favorite.
42:29Go on, babe.
42:30Why don't you tell the rest?
42:32Fine.
42:33I will.
42:35And then he cried.
42:37And he cried.
42:38And he cried.
42:39And then he got down on one knee and he proposed.
42:41Yeah, well, that's not exactly how I remember it.
42:43Fine.
42:44Then you tell them.
42:49Pre-wedding jitters.
42:53What the hell are you doing?
42:54Besides single-handedly keeping up this narrative?
42:56No, I mean turning into an unrecognizable puddle the moment Clark walks into the room.
43:00What are you talking about?
43:01Oh, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
43:03Are you jealous?
43:05No.
43:05This is a contract marriage.
43:07Okay, so then what is it?
43:08You're putting us both in jeopardy.
43:09All right, do I need to remind you that I have real stakes in this?
43:12My family.
43:13I'm lying to them for you.
43:13Okay, well, I'm sorry if I don't know what you're into.
43:16Maybe you like poetry.
43:17I don't know.
43:18Anything about me.
43:20That is not fair.
43:22It is not my job to know things about you.
43:25You're right.
43:26But you never tried to either.
43:41Came to check on you.
43:43I'm fine.
43:44Didn't sleep.
43:45I know you, Jack.
43:46You're not okay.
43:48It's just this whole wedding thing.
43:52And Brian drives me nuts.
43:54He does seem a little, uh, high-strung.
43:57Yeah, yes.
43:58He's always, like, doing things for me.
44:00Not, like, in a patronizing way.
44:02In, like, a supportive way.
44:05And he's ambitious and smart, which is annoying.
44:10And he listens to me, which is so weird.
44:15I can't stop thinking about you.
44:18Can I kiss you?
44:28I'm marrying Brian in two days.
44:29Look, I messed up.
44:31I can see that now, but if you have an ounce of feeling the way I feel about you, then
44:35you should be mine.
44:38I want to marry you.
44:39What?
44:42I thought you said marriage was a loss of independence.
44:45It's worth it to be with a person you love.
44:50Yeah.
44:52Yeah, you're right.
44:58Hey, think about it.
45:08What's your vibe?
45:09Every word.
45:11Sweet.
45:12Very sweet.
45:17Just play the part until she falls for you.
45:19And break it off with that loser, Brian.
45:21Then you're gonna be free to leave her again.
45:23And I'll get you the rest of your money.
45:25You got it.
45:26I'm so glad you're again.
45:27Win-win for me.
45:28I get paid.
45:29I might get some tail in the meantime.
45:31I kind of forgot how hot she is.
45:33I like you, Clark.
45:37Hey, hey, hey.
45:39We need to talk.
45:42I need your help.
45:44To teach someone a lesson.
45:48Like a team?
45:50You're a team.
46:00I thought you said you hated hiking.
46:03Well, like you said, people change.
46:06I'm glad you called this morning.
46:07Look, I like Bri.
46:08I'm glad you said you're a guy.
46:10But no one makes me feel the way you do.
46:22God, I've missed you.
46:25I love you.
46:28I love you.
46:31God, I've missed you.
46:45I don't have to take my shoes and socks off, right, babe?
46:47I mean, there's pokey stuff everywhere.
46:49That actually depends.
46:52I don't know if you want to hike down fully nude or not.
46:58I think I'm going to puke.
46:59I think I'm going to puke.
47:01Oh, God.
47:02I know this was part of the plan, but watching that was truly sickening.
47:05Oh, well, at least you don't have his tongue in your mouth.
47:08Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
47:08What's going on?
47:10We need to talk.
47:12There is nothing between me and Clark.
47:15There was at one time, but that is over.
47:18I am marrying you.
47:23Go to bed.
47:26Every time you come into my life, you fuck it up.
47:29You're the reason I didn't want to get married.
47:31You are a pathetic, impotent excuse for a man.
47:37Even if I hadn't seen this video of you and your little dirtbag boyfriend this morning,
47:42I knew you were up to something.
47:44So I strung you along until I could figure it all out.
47:48Thank you for coming to Jenna King's TED Talk.
47:50Kobe!
47:51Oh, no, no!
47:51Oh, God!
47:55That's fine.
47:56Thanks for doing this.
47:58Have a nice hike down, douchebag.
48:00Brought your help!
48:01Bye!
48:08Oh, dear, you look beautiful.
48:12I want you to meet Grandma Sandra.
48:14She has something special for you.
48:17Grandma?
48:19Welcome to the family.
48:21Huh?
48:21We want you to have this.
48:24Oh, I really, I...
48:26Oh, yes, absolutely.
48:28Yes, yes, we insist.
48:30It's an Arnhem family heirloom.
48:33And we want you to know, every time you look at it, that you belong.
48:39Farming.
48:39Farming.
48:40Fun.
48:41And family.
48:42Family.
48:45Family.
48:57Hey, now.
48:59I told Jenna this already, but I got the whole CEO paperwork right here.
49:05Now, during the wedding ceremony, you're going to sign the marriage certificate, but you'll
49:09also sign this.
49:10Make it all official.
49:13Welcome to married life, son.
49:14All right.
49:18That's your last chance, bro.
49:21I know it's all lies, lies, lies.
49:25I'm going to make a deal for both of us, so we can get what we want.
49:29If you owe Jenna, I'll promote you to her job, and I'll pay you three times the raise.
49:36But if you go up and sign that deal, I'm going to make good on my promise to ruin both
49:42of you.
49:43My offer stands for five more seconds.
49:45Five.
49:47Four.
49:48Three.
49:50Two.
49:52You know what?
49:53You're right.
49:54You are very consistent.
49:57Consistently the biggest D-bag I have ever seen.
50:01Enjoy having Jenna as your new CEO.
50:06Bye.
50:14Good job.
50:15That's all.
51:17It, uh, looks like our plan's gonna go off without a hitch.
51:23You sure about this?
51:27Stop the wedding!
51:36Oh, my God.
51:41This marriage is a sham.
51:45As you can see in this contract right here, dated a week ago.
51:50I told you you shouldn't have given it.
51:51Stop the time, Bri.
51:52They have deceived this company.
51:54And they have deceived all of you, ladies and gentlemen.
51:57Oh, my gosh.
52:00What's he talking about?
52:02I'm very glad you asked.
52:03In order to get promoted, Jenna right here forced her assistant, Brian, to marry her.
52:15Is this true, Jenna?
52:29You know, you would have made a really shitty lawyer.
52:32What?
52:33Look at the bottom of that page.
52:37I didn't sign that.
52:40You can wave that piece of paper around all you want.
52:44It's not gonna do anything for you.
52:46Because I made a promise to Jenna that I would marry her.
52:50And that's exactly what I'm gonna do.
52:53You didn't sign the contract?
52:54Nope.
52:57So you did all of this because you're a good person.
53:06I'm sorry, I can't do this.
53:09What?
53:12You have given me so much.
53:14What are you doing?
53:15You've given me years of your life.
53:17I threatened to ruin your career.
53:21I forced you to lie to everyone.
53:24I forced you to pretend to be in love with me.
53:26Look, you don't have to do this.
53:27You're Jenna, stop.
53:28I'm sorry you ever met me.
53:33You're Jenna.
53:35Wait.
53:37Just let me go.
53:39Kiss me.
53:46I don't deserve to be a part of your family.
53:51I don't deserve to be a part of your family.
54:05I guess she did all the dirty work to ruin both of you.
54:12That's why you'll never be CEO.
54:15What?
54:15Devon, you are an embarrassment to this company and to our family.
54:21If you insist on acting like a child, you are gonna be treated as one.
54:27Go to your room and stay there.
54:29Dad, please.
54:31Daddy, I can explain.
54:32Please.
54:43So, how you doing, son?
54:45Pretty shitty, Dad.
54:50I'm sorry I lied to y'all.
54:51You do what you have to do for true love.
54:54Including never giving up.
55:01Everyone can go home.
55:03It's over.
55:03She's gone.
55:08It's not over, Brian.
55:10Go find her.
55:12So, what are you waiting for, son?
55:15I'm sorry.
55:32Jenna, it's me.
55:35I know you're in there.
55:48Can I come in?
55:50I don't deserve this.
55:54Not after everything I've done.
55:59But you don't love me.
56:01This is all fake.
56:03I don't think you can fake the kind of connection we have.
56:06Do you?
56:08Why are you doing this?
56:10You don't need me.
56:12They offered you my position.
56:15Jenna, I quit.
56:18You what?
56:22Why?
56:24They, Devin offered you the position.
56:26That's your dream job.
56:27Why would you do that?
56:28I don't want to be anywhere you're not.
56:30Brian, I...
56:30Look, I know what you're going to say.
56:32Okay?
56:33Because I know you.
56:35Better than anyone else.
56:38And I also know that I love you.
56:50And I have loved you from the day that I met you, Jenna King.
56:57And even when I've hated you, which I have many, many times.
57:04I've still always been head over heels in love with you.
57:06So, what do you say?
57:10No contracts, no professional strings attached.
57:22Will you marry me?
57:25For real?
57:28I love you, Brian.
57:42Brian, do you take Jenna to be your lawful wedded wife?
57:46So this is what you wanted?
57:48Do you get married tonight?
57:50I do.
57:53I don't want to spend another birthday without you.
57:55And Jenna?
57:57I do, too.
57:58You may now kiss your bride.
58:27Put the script in Cayman's hands.
58:29See if he likes it.
58:30Okay.
58:30Oh.
58:31Hi.
58:33Oh, hey.
58:33Could you get me a coffee?
58:34What happened to our new assistant?
58:36Amy's out there at the desk.
58:37Uh, Amy, could you grab us two lattes?
58:38Sure thing, boss.
58:41I'm the really tall guy.
58:42Yeah.
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