- 13 hours ago
Deadloch S02E02
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:18No, we've got more chance of finding a shit with wings than what I've done Darryl's body tonight.
00:22Some croc's probably tucked him away like a drag queen's dick by now.
00:27I'd say he's been eating already.
00:31What?
00:33What?
00:33Were you ever going to tell me that your dad lives in Barrow Creek?
00:36Here we go.
00:37Now, you specifically said that you have no family here, Eddie.
00:40Yeah, because I thought he was in jail.
00:41Well, feel free to tell me about your hometown while we are investigating a case in your hometown so I
00:48don't make a complete git of myself.
00:50Well, you're doing a pretty good job of that yourself by now.
00:51Oh, the glasses are for motion sickness.
00:54Mate, who cares who kept what from who, okay?
00:56We're trying to solve a high-profile murder here.
00:59Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying.
01:00So tomorrow morning, we hit the ground running, get his autopsy report and we fingerprint his cage.
01:04What? Who's cage?
01:06Triple pet, my crocodile.
01:07Eddie, we are investigating a homicide.
01:09This is a fucking homicide.
01:10Pom means human.
01:12Right.
01:12Now I'd like to say a few words about triple pet and my crocodile brother.
01:16Please don't.
01:17Triple pet.
01:17No.
01:18You loved eating.
01:20Um, specifically pets.
01:22Three of them to be exact.
01:23And I know we had our challenges.
01:25I accidentally shot off three of your scutes with a slug gun and you tried to eat me a lot.
01:29But you were my best mate.
01:30And I solemnly vowed to find your killer and avenge your death and so does Collins.
01:33No, I don't.
01:34And now, for your favourite song.
01:35Oh, please.
01:37Cracklin' Rose, you're a starboard woman.
01:40But you make me sing like a guitar humming.
01:43So hang on to me, girl.
01:45The song keeps playing on.
01:49Play it now, play it now, play it now, play it now, my baby.
01:53Bam.
02:23Now, that was a silly rule last night.
02:26Hey.
02:27And Don's dick is no excuse for you to kick off it in there.
02:30Let's get this right on the show, shall we?
02:33Wait, wait, wait.
02:33What's with this?
02:34Get up.
02:35You look like a beachy mortician.
02:36You need to get involved with this, mate.
02:38100% petroleum, moisture wicking, hammerhead, shark on the back.
02:42Hey, yep.
02:43Wowee, yep.
02:45Not as good as Bushy Shirt, eh?
02:46Oh, hey.
02:48Have you seen that one?
02:49Fucking bull croc on the front, helicopter on the back, double the action, you know?
02:53I don't.
02:54So, any word on Don's autopsy?
02:56Uh, no.
02:57Apparently, forensics are busy.
02:58But we'll head to Darwin once the autopsy's confirmed.
03:01Okay.
03:01When do we meet our team?
03:02Uh, there is no team.
03:03All personnel have been diverted to task force for Mare for the backpacker case.
03:07My loves!
03:08Hi.
03:09I bought us new drink bottles.
03:10I've taped the What Colour Is Your Piss dehydration guide on the site.
03:13Good on you, Kate.
03:14Eddie, I'm so glad you're here reconnecting with your dad.
03:16No, I'm not.
03:17Such a beautiful experience.
03:18No, it's not.
03:19Thank you for letting us be part of it.
03:20No, Kat.
03:21No.
03:22Yeah.
03:22Move out of the way.
03:23Fucking old scroed up to you now.
03:25Hold that.
03:25I'm going to talk to him about triple pet.
03:26Okay, my love.
03:27I'm going to a camping store.
03:29By us a family piss bucket.
03:30Oi.
03:31Why are you still here?
03:32Well, I thought we could reconnect.
03:34Have a nice cup of Makona.
03:35I'm investigating the Don Darrell homicide.
03:37You fucking talk to me about Don Darrell.
03:40He's fucking dead to me.
03:41I tell you what, if you had one drown of fucking loyalty and you'd be fucking dead to you.
03:45He is dead to me.
03:47He's fucking dead to everybody because he's fucking dead.
03:49What did you do with triple pet?
03:51What?
03:51You got tits for airs.
03:52I told you last night.
03:53Somebody stole it.
03:54Oh, really?
03:55Okay.
03:55Yes.
03:56And that's how he wound up dead in the river with Don Darrell's arm in his mouth.
03:59Is it?
03:59What are you on about?
04:00Well, that's not triple pet.
04:01Look at the bunch on top of its head.
04:03That croc's got all his scoots.
04:04Triple pet's got half his messin'.
04:06And we both know how that happened.
04:07Shit shot.
04:08So where's triple pet then?
04:09I don't bloody know.
04:11Come on, not this asshole again.
04:13Get fucked off the puns.
04:14You fucking mess up.
04:15He's off the fucking dog.
04:16Bang, hi.
04:18Hello, I'm, um, I'm Dulcie.
04:21I didn't get a chance to meet properly when you were shooting at us.
04:24Yeah, I know about you.
04:26Have a look at the fairy, hey?
04:27Chaplin Pony and a lesbian giraffe.
04:30It's like a fucking Disney film come to life.
04:33Good luck with the case at Wiener.
04:35You're off to a fucking flyer so far.
04:44This building used to be the old school.
04:46Eddie would remember that, wouldn't you?
04:48Yep.
04:48Oh, yeah.
04:49So anyway, here's the keys to your vehicle.
04:51All right, that's on loan from the boys at the Dierks River Station.
04:54So I'd give it a wipe down if I was you.
04:56Uh, the kitchen, just over here.
04:59Bathroom's out the back.
05:00The toilet is non-load bearing.
05:02So just hover over the top of it like you're riding an invisible motorbike.
05:06That's it.
05:07Just make yourselves at home.
05:09I'm retiring next week.
05:10Oh.
05:11So I'm doing the handover with my replacement.
05:13So far it's been like hand-rearing a baby duck.
05:16Senior Sergeant Heffernan.
05:17Oh, speak of the devil.
05:19Detectives, this is the incoming Barrow Creek Sergeant Luke Ferguson.
05:22Hey!
05:23I know you.
05:24Used to work at HQ.
05:25Bushy put his dick in your yoga that time.
05:27Remember that?
05:28I do.
05:29I do remember that.
05:30Yeah, you're still making that homebrew?
05:31Stuff tastes like a banana pissed itself.
05:33It was tropical sour.
05:35Oh, yeah.
05:35It was potent.
05:36Couldn't stop pissing brown for a week.
05:38What's the deal with the moon boot, moon boot?
05:39I had a procedure done on my plantar fasciitis.
05:42The Don Darrell autopsy report's taking an awfully long time to print.
05:46Sorry, the autopsy's been done already?
05:48Yes, and it's taking a very long time to print.
05:50Okay.
05:50We'll just bring it in to the detectives when it's done, Luke.
05:53Oh, I can't do that, Senior Sergeant.
05:54You are supposed to be taking me through the emergency SOPs all the way through to lunchtime.
05:58I'm only rostered on till 3pm.
06:00It'll be overtime after that.
06:01Yeah, okay.
06:02Okay.
06:03Yep.
06:04Jeez, if the weather doesn't do me in, that boy will.
06:07Just hold tight.
06:11What kind of backyard forensics offers an autopsy without informing the detectives
06:15in charge?
06:16It's territory forensics, mate.
06:17Pretty much just three blokes and a Commodore 64.
06:20You've just got to be firm with us.
06:21Senior Sergeant.
06:22Yes.
06:23Coming, Luke.
06:23Down low, too slow.
06:26Weapon used in the post-mortem disarticulation of the Darrell is a weapon with a cutting edge
06:34attached to a handle or hilt.
06:36It's a knife.
06:37That's a knife.
06:38Right.
06:39So his head and arm were removed after death.
06:42What else does it say?
06:43That's just it.
06:44The knife bit.
06:44What?
06:45That's not.
06:46No, it's not.
06:47It is.
06:47No, what about the time of death or the cause of death?
06:50Is there a tox report?
06:52Cause of death unknown.
06:53Yeah, and they need the torso.
06:54It's got all the vital organs, the heart, the lungs, the bum and the boobs.
06:57Sure.
06:57But this isn't a forensics report.
06:59This is a book blurb.
07:00Forget about it.
07:01We'll figure this out some other way.
07:02Forensics is a crutch for you anyway.
07:03Come on, let's just go to the Darrells.
07:05Shake their shorts.
07:06See what turds fall out.
07:07Come on, you can drive.
07:08Oh, can I?
07:10Oh, Eddie, in interviews we refer to Don's death as a fishing accident.
07:13No mention we're treating it as a murder.
07:15I know.
07:16I'll be confidential as fuck, mate.
07:17I always am.
07:19Hi.
07:19Fuck.
07:20Pat was gonna give me a quote about Don Darrell and then forgot about me.
07:23I heard everything you said.
07:26You're a fucking journo?
07:27Yes, I'm Leo Lea.
07:29I write the NT Times Daily Crock Watch column.
07:30Right.
07:31Well, obviously I'm a fan, but if you print anything we just said,
07:34I'll do you for perverting the course of justice, okay?
07:35That's not the charge, Pat.
07:36Just keep your holes shut.
07:38Okay, but I'm a trained journalist, so you should let me investigate with you.
07:41I'm dangerously bored in my job.
07:42I've written the same weekly Crock Attack article for months now,
07:44and not one person's noticed.
07:45Leo, your help with the crime scene photos was appreciated,
07:48but I am running a professional investigation here,
07:51so thank you, and no thank you, and goodbye, please.
07:54Oh.
07:55There's a recycling...
07:56Yes, yes.
07:57Okay, thank you.
07:58Oi!
07:58Ready!
07:59That bike!
07:59That's not yours.
08:01One, are you?
08:02Yes, it's Mickey.
08:03Hi, Aunty.
08:03Don't call her Aunty Bub, she's not black.
08:05Yes, she is.
08:06Did you pretend to be black to take my ten-year-old's bike?
08:09No.
08:10And I didn't take the bike.
08:11Yeah, she paid me $120 to hire it for three days.
08:14Cash?
08:14Yes, so we can pay to get Uncle Al's boat fix.
08:16Yeah, because I put dog biscuits in the fuel tank.
08:19Right, well what?
08:20We'll turn it in good condition, and pump up the tyres.
08:22Come on, let's go.
08:23Wait, wait, wait, Miffy.
08:25You're a ranger, yeah?
08:26So my crocodile brother triple pet's gone missing.
08:29Have you seen him in the area?
08:30Listen, Blue Heelers, if you want my ancestral knowledge and my professional expertise for your police investigation, then you can
08:35contact my boss Keith, Keith can contact me, and I can tell Keith to fuck right off.
08:38Here you go.
08:40Your sunnies.
08:41All right, come on you look.
08:43Aunty Mary said you can collect some cans at the pub while I'm at work today.
08:46Love the school holidays.
08:47Come on, Mub.
08:49That ranger's a bit of a punish.
08:52Freaky eyes.
08:53Too many fucking colours if you ask me.
08:55Looks like a poisonous frog.
08:57We don't need the bike.
08:59Eddie, we have the car, we have an adult car now, so...
09:00Still what, five hours left on the rental?
09:02Let's just go.
09:02No worries.
09:03It's gonna be your human map.
09:05Oh, my God.
09:06Oh, my God.
09:08Oh, my God.
09:09Oh, my God.
09:09Oh, my God.
09:10Oh, my God.
09:11Oh, my God.
09:12Oh, my God.
09:13Look, so when we get there, I'll take a lead with the daryls.
09:20Really? You think that's wise?
09:21And we're all but kneecapped to you last night.
09:23At least I'm a local, mate.
09:24You think rich.
09:25I'll look at you and then they'll know you play the ogre
09:27when you're terrified of arse playing.
09:30It was the clarinet, actually.
09:33Oh, it's the superintendent.
09:35Believe it, we're almost there.
09:37Superintendent.
09:38Uh, Detective.
09:39I'm just here to relax, huh?
09:40Thought I'd give you a call, see how you got on this morning.
09:42Well, we've just arrived at the daryls now, sir,
09:44so hopefully we can't question all of the family members,
09:46get them to piece together a picture of Don's final hours.
09:48Okay.
09:49And, uh, how's Detective Redcliffe getting on?
09:54Uh, really, really great, actually.
09:57But she'd like a therapy puppet.
09:59Really?
09:59A puppet?
10:00Okay, to each their own.
10:02I'll let HR know.
10:03They'll be wrapped.
10:04I'm doing too many things here.
10:06Oh, actually, sir, we could use your assistance with forensics.
10:09Don Darrell's autopsy report was all of eight words.
10:11They didn't give us a cause of death.
10:13Now, we appreciate that they need more body parts,
10:16but we expect there to be more information.
10:17Yeah, well, that sounds about right, Detective.
10:20Um, look, I'll make some calls,
10:21see if I can't unblock a few of those evidence pipelines for you.
10:24Thank you, sir.
10:24And we'll do some old-fashioned pavement pounding till then.
10:28All right, I'll let you do it.
10:30Okay.
10:30Time for now.
10:33Hey, um, no jokes when we go in there.
10:36They don't work for you.
10:37It's like a cheese string on a knife.
10:42Yeah, so, um, straight out of the bat,
10:44we offer our condoles,
10:47and, um, I just want to say how sorry we both are.
10:51Don was, uh, a legend,
10:55a river king,
10:58a sultan of swing.
11:00Shove it up, you clack.
11:01Now, to be rolling in his grave to know you were here.
11:03Yeah, well, he's not in a grave, he's here, so...
11:05My C-section's here, shithead. I will go, you.
11:07Oh, hang on, stop your rock.
11:08It's a statement of fact, okay?
11:09Fine, he's mainly in the river.
11:10Fuck, fine, you go.
11:12Um, uh, uh, Miss, uh, Miss Darrell,
11:16Mrs Darrell, we just want to ask a few questions
11:18about Don's last movements.
11:20How would we know his last movements?
11:21We didn't follow him to the shitter.
11:23No, sorry, I meant what he was doing before he died.
11:25Well, say that then, Scrabble.
11:27You think you're better than me?
11:28No, I never, I don't.
11:29And I'm a missus, not a miz.
11:30I'm married to Grant.
11:31That's my husband there.
11:32That's, oh.
11:33Oh, that's...
11:35Congratulations.
11:36Um, so when was the last time you saw Don?
11:39Why?
11:39What's it to you?
11:40How fucking dare you?
11:41I am just trying to do my job.
11:45Last time we saw Dad was...
11:48Sunday night!
11:49Sunday night!
11:50The whole family had tea at the pub.
11:52You happy?
11:53So you didn't see him on Monday then?
11:54If we'd seen him then, we would've fucking said,
11:56Tegan, can you get the phone?
11:58So, the last time you saw Don was Sunday night.
12:00Okay.
12:00Oh, no, no, no, no.
12:01She can't.
12:02Oh, sorry.
12:02We are conducting a police interview.
12:04You can't just...
12:04She's my best friend.
12:06Tegan was my mate of honour.
12:07Okay?
12:08It's a funeral, I am.
12:10Okay.
12:11Well, you tell him, Tegs,
12:12that we're not paying for a full-sized coffin.
12:14We only got the head in the arm,
12:15so we'll just do a dog one.
12:16For shit sakes, Amber!
12:17Stop going on about bloody money!
12:18Well, someone's got her mum.
12:20DJ won't, will he?
12:20He just bought a fucking duck boat.
12:22Tell him, Tegs.
12:23Hey, they're JJ.
12:24Who got my bracelet?
12:25Boys don't play with bracelets.
12:27It's gay.
12:28Okay, so the meal at the pub on Sunday,
12:31was everyone in good spirits?
12:32What, to you?
12:33Yes.
12:33Do people who aren't in good spirits
12:35do three rounds of crock-sucking cowboys?
12:36It was a lovely night.
12:37It was a lovely night.
12:38How dare you?
12:39Oh.
12:42Who are they from, Troy?
12:46Sorry.
12:47Dear Colleen, Amber, DJ and Trey.
12:50Troy!
12:51That's you.
12:52Troy.
12:52Sorry for your loss.
12:54Deepest symphonies, Jason Wade.
12:57That dick rat.
12:58The bloody dude.
13:00Troy, you take those birds of paradise
13:03out the back
13:04and you burn them in the incinerator.
13:06So what happened after dinner?
13:08Dad got eaten by a fucking crocodile.
13:10Girl knows that, Amber.
13:11No, sorry.
13:11Actually, I meant, what time did you all leave the pub?
13:17It's none of your business,
13:18but Dad stayed at the pub
13:20and then we all left about 10.
13:22We dropped DJ and Troy back here
13:23and then Mum come back to ours
13:24because all our kids had both ends gastro.
13:26We were just swapping out buckets till 5am.
13:28Fucking awful.
13:29Yeah, something would throw on.
13:30It's probably that woman's nuggets.
13:32And where did Don go after the pub?
13:34Probably headed home.
13:35Okay, and did he make it home?
13:37Did Troy or your other son BJ see him here?
13:40DJ.
13:40Don Jr.
13:41How dare you?
13:42DJ.
13:43Sorry, my bad.
13:43Yeah, you're not listening to a word we're saying.
13:45No one saw him after the pub.
13:47We already said that.
13:48Right, we're done here.
13:49I've lost my dad.
13:51DJJ's lost his pub.
13:52Mum's lost the love of her life.
13:53What about a gutful...
13:54Yeah, we still need to talk to DJ.
13:56DJ's not here.
13:57He's taking it hard.
13:58He was Don's favourite.
14:00Well, tell him we want a word.
14:01Okay.
14:02Come on, Corns.
14:02Let's go.
14:03Oh.
14:05Actually, I do just have one more question.
14:06No, you don't.
14:07Yes, I do.
14:08By the time that Don's remains were found on Tuesday, you hadn't seen him for two days?
14:14Where did you think he was?
14:15Fishing.
14:16Right, and what makes you think that he was fishing?
14:18Because on Sunday night he told us he was going fishing.
14:21And you weren't worried about him?
14:22No.
14:23We're not like you city people.
14:25We can go weeks without talking to each other.
14:28It's called being a family.
14:30Right, well that feels like it's hit a natural conclusion.
14:33Uh, great.
14:34We will...
14:35Be in...
14:36Yes.
14:37Joy!
14:38Fire!
14:39Fuck!
14:40Bloody hell!
14:41Get up, ladies and cunt, there's a fire!
14:43Fuck!
14:43There's a hose!
14:44There's a hose!
14:45I don't know where the fucking hose is.
14:46Fuck!
14:48Okay.
14:49The question to the locals about Sunday night.
14:51You just sit in the corner and try not to dog it up again, Scrabble.
14:54Oh.
14:57Come on, you three, cut the shit.
14:58I know you know what fucking went on on Sunday night.
15:01Your asses have been planted here since 1983.
15:04What about you, Rabbit?
15:05Did you see Don Darrell on Sunday night?
15:07Bert?
15:08Did you see Don, huh?
15:10Roch, what about you?
15:11I didn't see anything pertaining to Don Darrell, Ed Wiener.
15:14I'll tell you what I did see recently, though.
15:16Lights in the sky over the D.A.R.
15:18Extra-terrestrial activity is increasing exponentially.
15:21No!
15:21No cooker shit, Roch, okay?
15:23Answer my questions or I'll sign you up for a government ID.
15:25Hey!
15:26I wonder though, boys!
15:27Don't start that!
15:28Don't start that shit again!
15:29Don't start!
15:30Don't start that!
15:31Fuck my hole!
15:32Okay.
15:33Your government says the D.R.R. is decommissioned military land.
15:36They're doing something out there and they're doing it with more taxes.
15:38You don't pay taxes, Roch.
15:40And this is why?
15:40That's my man.
15:41Fuck the colony, babe.
15:43Oh!
15:43This is beautiful!
15:45Because my muse is beautiful.
15:46Oh!
15:48Those aliens are probably behind all this.
15:50They've probably got triple pet, too.
15:51No!
15:51Hi, boys!
15:52Hot one today!
15:53Shut up, Joyce!
15:54Stay out of it, Joyce!
15:55Fuck!
15:56Fuck!
15:57Yeah, the Daryls were here on Sunday night for Don 70th.
16:00The kids ate five dozen nuggets.
16:01Don 70th?
16:03Well, why didn't they mention that?
16:04Ah, don't take it personally, Darcy.
16:06The Daryls probably just didn't tell you about Don's party because it's none of your business.
16:10Here we are.
16:12Oh!
16:13Mary!
16:14Yeah?
16:15I thought you cleaned up in here.
16:17No, I remember you were cleaning.
16:18I was digging.
16:20Ah!
16:21Don didn't finish his steak cake.
16:22I'll get the karcher and pressure hose the lot of it out the roller door.
16:25Ah, just leave the mess for now.
16:27Thank you, please.
16:27Okay, but we've got to clean it soon.
16:29Pat's having a retirement do in here next week.
16:43Mary, did the Daryls have a fight?
16:471982, Tyndall Base.
16:4942.7 degrees.
16:51Still...
16:51This is hotter.
16:52Okay, okay!
16:53Okay, let's get back to Don Daryl or I will kill you all.
16:57We were at the Daryls yesterday.
16:59We fed King.
17:00Okay, that's it. Line up.
17:01You're all gonna die.
17:02See?
17:02Line up, I'm gonna shoot you up.
17:03Hi.
17:04Ron Chuck to Chook.
17:06Jesus.
17:06Did you slide in on wheels?
17:08No, I've been here this whole time again.
17:09If you wanna know what happened that evening, the drone was filming around the pub on Sunday night.
17:13I know because I stay in a caravan out back that barely has a roof.
17:16If you got your hands on the drone, it might have filmed on leaving.
17:19Who owns the drone?
17:20I'm not sure.
17:21Or maybe Satan?
17:21The croc in this cage isn't king.
17:23What?
17:24This is not king.
17:25This croc is missing its scoots.
17:32You shithouse rats.
17:49Collins, where are ya?
17:50In here.
17:52I know we're having a triple pen.
17:56Troy did the penis on the billboard.
18:03STOP!
18:06You suddenly didn't do struck wild!
18:07The troc-napping bones, wait!
18:08Stop it, stop it, stop it.
18:11Wait, wait, wait.
18:12Go, go!
18:15Ghost of theber pas held a pyro in the把-run employ!
18:17You're not going on about this something I'mини through to it till I know-
18:17But after you get down you Trug-napping f*****y!
18:19Do not make me chase you.
18:21That croc in King's cage.
18:22That's triple pen isn't it?
18:24So that means it was king in the river with your Dad's arm and a joint splitterered.
18:27It sucks.
18:27Get off!
18:28Don't follow me!
18:29Troy, do not go, but there is no give in the gravel none, mate!
18:34I told you that it hurt!
18:37We need to question you formally!
18:39You f***ing get out of this!
18:41Get out of there!
18:43Come on, you think you can take your scrap?
18:45Come on!
18:45Want to take me off, come on?
18:46Troy!
18:47Oh my God!
18:48Dismount the tiny bike!
18:51Fuck!
18:52Get off Troy!
18:55Fucking no!
18:57I didn't do nothing!
19:00I didn't do nothing!
19:14I found this at the pub today.
19:18Troy, did you graffiti the same penis and testes onto your father's face?
19:23What?
19:23On the billboard?
19:24No, it was those Landa Crocs wankers.
19:26Yeah, it was me.
19:29Hey!
19:30Hey!
19:30DJ!
19:31DJ!
19:32No!
19:33Hey, stop that!
19:34Stop it!
19:35Stop it!
19:35I was angry at him.
19:37Troy!
19:38Mate, come on.
19:38Look at me.
19:40Dads can be tough, yeah?
19:41We know that.
19:43You know, weight of expectation.
19:45It's a lot.
19:46You know?
19:47Collins, her dad, he was shit.
19:49He was an actor.
19:50He was in Brigadoon.
19:50No.
19:51No, he was a brigadier in the Defence Force.
19:54Yeah.
19:54Point is, she understands why you didn't want your dad dead.
19:57No.
19:58Yeah, yeah, no.
19:59You had a fight with your dad at the pub because of your gay dick up.
20:03No, the fight was because Dad fed Grant crab and then his throat closed over.
20:06Yeah, Dad says allergies for poofs.
20:08Yeah, for poofs.
20:09Yeah, okay, whatever.
20:09After that, you killed your dad.
20:11You fed his arm to King, your prehistoric garbage disposal.
20:13That's not what happened.
20:14Yeah, and then King died because he choked on that arm.
20:17So you choked him in the river.
20:18No, King was already in the river.
20:20No, what?
20:21Sorry, King was already in the river.
20:23Yeah, King got out Saturday night.
20:25The gate was open.
20:26That's why we nicked Triple Pet.
20:27We thought Frank was still in jail.
20:28DJ, is it our fault that Dad's dead?
20:30Yeah, Troy.
20:32King got out.
20:33Right, and then King ate Dad when Dad fell in the river.
20:36Man, it's fucking circle of life.
20:37Shit, King murdered Dad because we left the gate open.
20:41These two fuckspanners don't know how don't die.
20:44Agreed.
20:46Troy, Troy.
20:47That's enough, DJ.
20:48Shut up.
20:50Where did you two go after the pub on Sunday night?
20:53Home.
20:53Went home.
20:54Home, he was on his sink.
20:55Twitch.
20:56Troy was on his Twitch and I went out with Rabbit setting off some fireworks.
21:00Look, I've got the videos on my socials to prove it.
21:02Look, look, 15 blowjobs all in a row.
21:04Oh, no thank you.
21:04No, no fellatio.
21:05No, no.
21:06There's a type of firework.
21:07What?
21:08Yeah.
21:08Like this.
21:09Okay, right.
21:10Wait, hang on.
21:10What?
21:10They're our confiscated fireworks, Troy.
21:12Grab them.
21:12No, no, concentrate please.
21:13So did you see your Dad at all?
21:15He was due back at your place after the pub, yes?
21:18No.
21:18No, Dad went to his place.
21:20Is it his place?
21:21What?
21:21I'm not following, no.
21:22He was going to his place.
21:23Yes, but isn't his place your place?
21:25No.
21:26It's our place.
21:27Well, where the fuck is his place then?
21:28Dad's Donger.
21:29Dad went to Dad's Donger.
21:33You're on, Tommy and Hot Hits with Beep Me and the Skid where the Mango Madness is setting
21:37in Skiddy.
21:38Well, that's right, Beep, and big news, Toby the Cadaver Dog has joined the missing backpacker's
21:42search just in time for Jason Wade's Big Barabash Nanza, which kicks off tomorrow in Jerk's
21:47River.
21:47Maybe Toby will have time to dip a rod in Skid.
21:49Maybe, maybe, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
22:05No.
22:06Come on.
22:07No.
22:08Why the fuck not?
22:09Superintendent Confirmed Forensics is en route, and the Dongle is-
22:12Donger.
22:13It's a portable building, soft G.
22:15Roll the end in the G.
22:16Donger.
22:16However you pronounce it, it is a suspected crime scene, so we wait for them.
22:21No, we make our own destiny. I'm going in.
22:22No, like fun, you are.
22:25We don't have gloves, we don't have booties, and it's all potential evidence in there.
22:28No.
22:29Okay, well, I'm going to get Leo to bring us booties.
22:31Leo?
22:32Yeah, the janitor. Tell me about the drone.
22:34Why would Leo bring us booties?
22:35Well, they were in the shower block when I was doing my bedtime bog log, so I asked them to
22:38help us with this.
22:39No, no, no, they won't. A journalist is not joining this investigation.
22:43God, Eddie, you should have checked with me first.
22:45No, fire them. Pay them out if you have to.
22:46I'm not paying them, that's a good thing.
22:48They just want first dibs on the story so they can turn it into a podcast.
22:52What?
22:52Collins, we need more hands, okay?
22:54Between the two of us, we've got four hands, but none of them know how to turn on a computer.
22:57Leo can handle that for us.
22:58But they've got this vibe where they barely exist.
23:01People don't even notice when they're being interviewed by them.
23:04I think it's the wind.
23:07Hey, hey, Eddie, don't open that. I said we were waiting.
23:10Oh, I forgot.
23:13Oh.
23:15Considering that Daryl's place looked like the BFG's junk drawer,
23:19Don kept a remarkably clean dongler.
23:21Donger. It's Donger.
23:23That's what I said.
23:26Oi.
23:28Is it just me or is this place on a lean?
23:32No, you're right. It is on a lean.
23:34I'm going to dip a toe in.
23:35No, don't.
23:35Just a toe.
23:36Just a fucking quantity.
23:38Oh, fucking finally, cunts.
23:40Where have you kids biscuits been?
23:41Language.
23:42You've got a hard-on for your swabs.
23:43I'm just about the ants. This is a workplace.
23:45I've got a semi. I've got a semi for your swabs.
23:47Thank you. Hello.
23:48We didn't go in.
23:52Hi, mans.
23:55Get out of you guys.
24:01Struggling with these, Lynn.
24:02Just use a hook grip, Mayor.
24:03Hi, Lynn.
24:04Oh, hi, Kath.
24:05Hi, Mary.
24:06Oh, hi, Kath.
24:07Yep.
24:07You look busy.
24:08Yep.
24:08Always got something to do.
24:10I don't think it'll all dissolve in this.
24:11Shh.
24:13Oh, hello.
24:14Where did you come from?
24:15Good boy.
24:17Oh.
24:18I've got a new fishing shirt.
24:19And a loose tooth as well.
24:21Loose tooth?
24:22Wow.
24:23Is this your dog?
24:24Us isn't Cherry's dog, miss.
24:25Nah, it's Mav's dog, eh?
24:27Found him on the highway, eh?
24:28Well, you're cool, come on, miss.
24:29Mav loves cars.
24:30He stole one once.
24:31Shut up, Cherry.
24:31Oh, I stole Simon Crean's car once.
24:34It was a uni grassroots gorilla thing to protest speed regulation.
24:38It didn't work.
24:40Can I get a hurricane drink for my collar?
24:42Uh, yeah.
24:43Sure you can.
24:45Arnie, she's taking us to Land of Crocs to see Uncle Al.
24:48Oh, good on you, Kath.
24:49I was running out of cans for them to collect.
24:51Cool, I'm in the front.
24:52Come on, boss.
24:53Thanks, miss.
24:53Oh, I see he's got touch screen.
24:55Yeah, sure.
24:57This will be fun.
24:59Where are we going again?
25:01Kay put me up for this uni placement because Darwin Forensics hasn't hired anyone new since
25:05the Azaria Chamberlain case.
25:07Ah.
25:08That's Lauren and Oliver, the other interns.
25:10They're either siblings or they're dating.
25:12I can't actually tell which.
25:14Anyway, I'm paired with Toby the cadaver dog because according to the office manager,
25:17Diane, we're in the same pay bracket.
25:19Yeah, well, I'd get him away from the water, big eyes.
25:21He's in the lunch position there.
25:22The lunch position, ma'am?
25:24Oh, shivers.
25:27Toby, come on.
25:29Toby, here, boy.
25:30Toby, come on.
25:33Toby, good boy.
25:36Hey.
25:37Isn't he so cute?
25:38Yeah.
25:39Yeah, we're all supposed to be on the backpacker case, but our boss, the profs, and us here
25:43for the day.
25:43But I don't mind because I'm back with my work moms.
25:46So, Abby, I always wanted...
25:47Oh, no, sorry.
25:49Why are you going to do that?
25:49What's happening?
25:50No, that's good.
25:51Oh, you didn't want to...
25:52Okay, cool.
25:53Okay, how is this investigation going?
25:57Hey, did you hear that?
25:58That's not a spacecraft.
26:00I assure you, I did not think it was.
26:02What's that hovercunt?
26:04Hey, wait up!
26:04Eddie, leave it!
26:05No, stop.
26:07What?
26:08I want to talk about Sunday night at the pub.
26:10Sue, is this a potential crime scene, ma'am?
26:12That's what we're trying to figure out.
26:14Don was headed here on Sunday night, so we're just looking for anything.
26:17to indicate what might have happened.
26:20Did John make it out here?
26:21You know, was he alone?
26:22Oh, wait, ma'am, you've just stepped in some Toby poo.
26:24No.
26:25I'll go get you a bag.
26:26Yep, great.
26:27Get back here, you everyone fuck!
26:29I just want to talk!
26:30Hang on.
26:31Here, ma'am.
26:32You can lean on me.
26:33I think right, right.
26:34Ooh!
26:37Is anyone missing a bracelet with straight pride symbols on it?
26:41And an iced coffee?
26:53Is that your bracelet?
26:56No.
26:56All right, well, we did find it this morning at your dad's donger.
26:59He's what?
27:00At the...
27:01Donger.
27:02Your dad's donger.
27:03Okay.
27:04For fuck's sake, uh...
27:05Were you out there last night?
27:07No, I wasn't!
27:08I've got five kids under five, and Greg's never changed a nappy, so that could be anyone's.
27:11Sure, but we did see you with it yesterday when you told Don Jr. Jr. he couldn't play with it.
27:18Well, so what did I was at the donger last night?
27:21What's it to you?
27:21What's it to us?
27:22What it to us is that we think your dad was murdered out there.
27:26Eddie, no.
27:27Just fuck.
27:27Just...
27:28Um, what?
27:30Yeah.
27:31Yeah.
27:31What?
27:32You fully said dad was seen by a croc.
27:34No, we fully didn't.
27:35It was you that said that.
27:37Amber, we know about your dad's 70th, how he force-fed your husband and grandma crabs,
27:42and that resulted in a fight where those crabs were weaponized.
27:46Why didn't you tell us about the crab fight, Amber?
27:48Why did you say it was a lovely night?
27:50Clearly it wasn't.
27:51This is nothing more fucking business.
27:52A dad is a cunt.
27:53A dad was a cunt.
27:59Amber, if you don't tell us why you were out of the donger, then we're just going to have to
28:02guess.
28:03We think you went out there to cover up a bit of a dad murder.
28:08Tell them the truth, Ames.
28:10Yeah, listen to your mate, Amber.
28:12Fuck off.
28:13Alright, fine.
28:15I was out there because I was looking for the money.
28:17I didn't find it because someone else has been out there.
28:19I can tell because the donger's been wished off its blocks,
28:21and aside from that, I couldn't have killed him because I was at the hospital all Sunday night with Brennan
28:25because his throat closed over, didn't it?
28:26Shut up, shut up.
28:27What?
28:27Wait, what money?
28:28The money he wants back.
28:29The money who wants back?
28:31Him.
28:32Who?
28:32Fucking him.
28:33Jason Wade.
28:34That land at Crook's fuck paid that 300 grand, and now he wants it back.
28:38Can I go?
28:40I've got meat in the car.
28:43So Jason Wade grew up in Adelaide and attended an elite boys college
28:46that was burned down by its own old boys when it went co-ed.
28:49He has no prize, just a caution for driving 170 kilometres in a 160 school zone.
28:54Are you okay?
28:55No, I'm not.
28:56I'm police, Leo, and all of this is official police business.
29:00Uh-huh.
29:00I know.
29:01So if you publish anything about this case before a suspect is convicted of this crime,
29:06then not only will justice not be served for the victim,
29:10but the law will come down on you with the force of a hypernova.
29:14Do you understand?
29:15I do.
29:17But also if you don't solve this case, I'm just going to bin the whole thing
29:19because nobody wants to hear about losers.
29:21Where was I?
29:22Anybody want a chip?
29:24Yeah?
29:25Tastes like B.I.
29:25Good B.I.
29:27Jason is the star and creator of Jason Wade's Adventures Down Under
29:30and the marine spin-off Jason Wade's Adventures Down Under goes more down under.
29:34Eight years ago, he opened Jason Wade's Land of Crops and Other Animals Wildlife Park
29:38near Dierks River.
29:42Oh, no, I'm done.
29:43Oh, okay.
29:44All right, great.
29:44Well, we'll head to Land of Crops now.
29:49$350.
29:50We got this car yesterday.
29:51Is this normal?
29:52Yes.
29:52Detectives.
29:54Hold up.
29:55G'day, Moonboot.
29:56You don't answer your phone.
29:57Yeah, because it might be a bill.
29:59Well, it wasn't a bill.
29:59It was me.
30:00I was calling because a local man by the name of Mr Rabbit
30:03reported a body part in the river.
30:07It's in the water off Dickie's Knob.
30:09Okay, great.
30:10Well, I know a ranger.
30:11They would love to take you on a boat to collect that moot.
30:13No, no, no.
30:14I see my shift ends in 10 minutes.
30:20Oh, no, don't look at me.
30:22I didn't bring my goggles.
30:24I'm off to Land of Crocs.
30:30Get out, you munger bastard moots.
30:33Get out!
30:34Did you know Child Protection Services now has an app?
30:37Just key in your 26-digit fly and be in for access.
30:40You're speaking with Ellen.
30:41Whoa, whoa, whoa, hello, hello, hello, hello.
30:43Hi, hello, hello.
30:44Oh, hi, Ellen, Ellen.
30:46Hi, I'm Michaela Morris and I've recently become the kinship carer for my nephew, Maverick.
30:50One moment, please.
30:51No, don't put me on hold.
30:52I'm connecting you with kinship services now.
30:55Fuck, at least fucking lube me up before you fuck me like this, Ellen!
31:04You're right?
31:06It's another big day at Land of Crocs and other animals with our feeding of chomp kicking off soon in
31:11the croc arena.
31:12At 3 p.m. we have the batfish feeding and don't forget to book in your...
31:16I need to speak with Jason Wade.
31:18The office isn't answering.
31:20Yeah, sorry, it's my children's school holidays.
31:21One adult, that's $75, please.
31:23And police.
31:24Unless you're a family of four, it's $75, please.
31:29Right, right, yep.
31:32No, I don't need that.
31:33I'm just going to try and find...
31:35Yeah, I just need to know where...
31:36Don't forget you took it.
31:37Here you go.
31:38Have a nice day.
31:39Next.
31:41Could you direct me toward back of house?
31:43Thank you so much.
31:44Stand on the black X there, please.
31:45Oh, I just need to be directed towards back of house, if that's okay.
31:48Okay, Pete Fella is to your left, so look up at him super scared.
31:51Who's up there?
31:52Oh.
31:53At 3 p.m. Kate and Kate are going into the tube of doom.
31:56And then at 4 p.m., folks, we have the city grunter feeding with me, Roisin.
32:01Okay?
32:02But starting now in the process here...
32:04Just go through, please.
32:05Right, okay.
32:05It's croc feeding time with Big Fella.
32:08Thanks, Roisin.
32:09Please see the folks.
32:11Welcome, welcome.
32:12Good day, everyone.
32:13My name is Al, and I'm the land of crocs and other animals indigenous ambassador.
32:21Now, this has been my people's country since time immemorial.
32:34Today, I welcome everyone in the croc of speed to my country.
32:39What?
32:4116 people have been home for a hundred thousand years.
32:46Caring for country, respecting country, and all its creatures.
32:50Why does Uncle have that in your doggy?
32:52He doesn't even know how to play.
32:53Like Dungalaba.
32:58Dungalaba is language for my title.
33:00The saltwater crocodile.
33:02And now, a special surprise for you all.
33:05The top end's favourite son, Jason Wayne.
33:13Thanks, everybody.
33:14Give it up for him.
33:15I'll tell you what, folks.
33:16No one knows these rivers and these crocs better than Al Maydow.
33:20We've all learned so much more.
33:25G'day, g'day.
33:27G'day, g'day.
33:28G'day, g'day.
33:28G'day, g'day.
33:29G'day, g'day.
33:30My name is Jason Wayne.
33:32I might host a couple of TV shows.
33:34I'm fans of the house.
33:35Love it.
33:36But seriously, we all know who the real star of today is.
33:40Ladies and gents, give it up for Bigfella.
33:44Let's get him out here and give him a feed.
33:55Yeah, so Moonboop said that Rabbit said that the body part was up around this way,
33:59so we've just got to go at that, um,
34:01Trip, Trip, Trip, Trip, Trip, Tree, uh,
34:04by, uh, Dickie's Knop, so I reckon we just head downstream, Niffy.
34:08Mickey, do you seriously not remember me?
34:10Mickey Morris, we went to school together?
34:13Oh, come on.
34:14It was you, me, my cousins,
34:15A bunch of white dogs talking racist shit about us,
34:18even though they only shared one fucking face between them like it was a bong.
34:20Come on!
34:21You can't hang me at home, heck.
34:23Yeah, because I'd invite you out for darts with a creepy-faced tree
34:26and you'd dog me every time.
34:28Yeah, cool.
34:29So what's been happening? You still at school?
34:31I'm 44.
34:33No shit, me too.
34:34Hey, I reckon we need to go to where the crocodile and the sunnies is.
34:37You do realise that's an activity map for kids?
34:41Hard left, I reckon, Miffy.
34:47Is that your sonar or it works?
34:49Works.
34:51That's a bull shark.
34:52I know.
34:53Bull shark give birth to your life young.
34:55You give birth to your life young.
34:59Is that how it happened?
35:02What's that one? Is that a sawfish?
35:04Sawfish cut their prey in half of their nose.
35:06It's not a sawfish, all right?
35:08I know what a sawfish is and that's not a sawfish.
35:10Worse than my kids.
35:12Is it a torso?
35:15Oh, bugger.
35:16It's just a foot.
35:17That's not going to help us unless Don died a tinea.
35:20Where's its big toe?
35:23What's this thing?
35:24The hovercups!
35:26Yes!
35:31Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
35:32Shit shot my ass.
35:37I'm investigating Don Daryl's death.
35:39Okay, and you've spoken to Amber Daryl.
35:41I have, and your name came up.
35:43You think there's something going on with me and Amber?
35:45Ah, no, that is not what I thought.
35:47Dulcy, come on.
35:48Detective is fine.
35:49How do I put this politely?
35:51My wife, Althea, is a former runner-up Miss Australia.
35:55She's one fashion on the fields.
35:57She's beautiful.
35:57Yeah.
35:58Have a look at her cover of Maxim.
35:59Pre-kids, of course.
36:00Ah, it's really not necessary for me to see your wife's photos.
36:03Did you get it, though, right?
36:04Well, if I have an affair, it won't be with someone like Amber Daryl.
36:07She doesn't even register as a woman to me.
36:09Well, that is not why your name came up.
36:12She told us about the $300,000.
36:15Oh, that.
36:17Oh, you'll be worried there for a second, Dulcy.
36:19Detective.
36:20Why did you give Don Daryl $300,000?
36:24It's the boy King.
36:26The biggest croc in the territory.
36:27I've been trying to buy him for years.
36:28I knew the Daryls were struggling, so I made Don an offer he couldn't refuse.
36:33I paid him the cash for Friday.
36:35Got to need that back, obviously, now that he's dead.
36:37Don.
36:39I can wait till after the funeral.
36:40I don't need the cash, obviously.
36:42Make more than that each week off hurricane drinks.
36:44Yeah, if that makes sense, they are $35 a pop.
36:47Can't believe you thought I was having an affair with Amber Daryl.
36:51Not what I thought.
36:53Anyway, Mrs and I have an event to get to, Repair Ambassadors, so let me walk you out.
36:59I'll see if I can remember where the staff exit is.
37:01I'm not on the ground much anymore.
37:02Just flat chat, filming my show, editing season 12 right now.
37:06And then we're going to do a series where I drive a fast car over a salt lake.
37:09Just back and forth.
37:10We and big Russell Crowe.
37:25Hey, Leah.
37:28I shot down the hovercam.
37:29So I need you to see if there's any footage on the drone of Don leaving the pub.
37:33So yeah, action you to action that.
37:35Come on.
37:35Quick dicks, Leah.
37:39That's the foot.
37:39Don't worry about that.
37:40Eddie.
37:41I met the most amazing dog today.
37:44Awesome.
37:46Look.
37:48His name's Boss.
37:49I'm a bit too busy to talk about dogs right now, okay?
37:52Hey, Leah, can we hurry this up?
37:53I need to get this foot to forensics before it gets soupy.
37:56There is footage saved on this drone.
37:58Is there anything from Sunday night?
38:04Okay, I'm going outside, Lossie.
38:06Okay.
38:06Oh, bloody hell, that was a monumental waste of time.
38:09There is absolutely nothing here to suggest this is a crime scene.
38:11Yeah, because someone's hosed the site down, Oliver.
38:14I mean, look, there's water runoff, even though it hasn't rained here since last April.
38:17Of course it's rained here since then, Ali.
38:18That's ridiculous.
38:19No, it's the tropics.
38:20Grab Toby.
38:21Yeah, we're leaving.
38:22Lossie, let's get out of here.
38:23Toby, where are you?
38:27Toby.
38:28Toby.
38:33Freak, freak, freak.
38:34The lunch position.
38:36Toby.
38:40Toby.
38:42Toby, is that you?
38:47Oliver, Toby found a toe.
38:49It is the clam scene.
38:51Go, Toby.
38:53That's evidence.
38:54Toby, no.
38:58Yeah, this is good, Leo, but there's no one around.
39:00The joint's dead.
39:01Looks like a model railway.
39:02Just go around the corner.
39:03I can't turn the camera around.
39:04I'm not controlling it.
39:05No, I've seen people do it.
39:06No, you've seen Google Street View.
39:09Oh, that's just me.
39:10It's 76 photos of boss.
39:11Cool.
39:12No.
39:13No, don't go away.
39:14I haven't seen Don leave the pub.
39:15Where are you going now?
39:17Wait.
39:17I know where that is.
39:20That's near Don's Donger.
39:23That's just bloody duty.
39:26G'day, g'day.
39:28Who do we have here, then?
39:30So I'm doing K2, then Denali, then Everest, then Gio, and then I'm back here for a six-parter
39:36where we barbecue fish on the beach.
39:38Sounds fun.
39:38Jason, I also will need your whereabouts for the last Sunday night.
39:42Well, PA's not my direct, so just give them a call.
39:44Who are they?
39:44This is the exit.
39:45Do you need a selfie with me to show the girls back up?
39:47No, I think the girls are fine.
39:49Great.
39:49Great.
39:49Awesome.
39:50Really great to meet you, Dolphin.
39:51I'm really special.
39:52Okay.
39:52Take care.
39:53And your PA's contacts.
39:54Let's get the numbers up there.
39:58That was, yeah.
40:10Eddie.
40:11Collins.
40:12There was someone else out of Dom's Donger.
40:14They got picked up on the drone on Sunday night.
40:15They're dragging Dom's body up the jetty.
40:18What?
40:18Can you tell who it is?
40:19It's Chomp.
40:20Sorry.
40:21It's who?
40:22Oh, God.
40:22Chomp from Land of Crocs.
40:24He's our killer.
40:26Collins?
40:26Collins, you still there?
40:28Yeah.
40:29Yeah.
40:31I don't know.
40:34Hey!
40:36Yeah.
40:41Yeah.
40:42Yeah.
40:44Yeah.
40:46Yeah.
40:49Yeah.
40:50Yeah.
40:50Yeah.
40:51Yeah.
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